


Sanctuary

by CyborgSquirrel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Magic, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Minerva McGonagall, Canonical Character Death, Epic Friendship, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Slow Burn, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Strangers to Lovers, Touch-Starved, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:53:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 47
Words: 263,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24438490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyborgSquirrel/pseuds/CyborgSquirrel
Summary: The epic tale of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, from their first meeting until their happily ever after.A young werewolf who hasn't experienced human touch for six years meets a young pure-blood who's never known how it feels to be loved. The story follows Remus and Sirius through Hogwarts and beyond. Slightly AU in the beginning (mainly Remus believing he can infect people through skin contact), but goes major AU after the events of Halloween 1981.*First year now complete*
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1027
Kudos: 409





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This fic spans from just before the marauders start Hogwarts up until July 1985. I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading.

February 16th 1965

The sweet smell of chocolate hanging in the air as he passed Sugarplum's Sweetshop made Remus' mouth water. Still, he continued to skip along next to his dad as they made their way down Diagon Alley towards Gringotts bank. It was his fifth birthday in three weeks, and they were there to buy supplies for his party, so they would be going back to Sugarplum's later. Flourish and Blotts, though. Well. That was harder to resist.

'Come along, Remus,' his dad said, tugging on his hand, trying to pull him away from the shop window where he was staring at all the colourful books on display.

He tore his gaze from the window and peered up at his dad, making his eyes as wide as he could. 'Can I buy a new book, Daddy?' he asked.

His dad shook his head, but he was smiling. 'No, it's not polite to buy things for yourself right before your birthday. What if you buy something that someone's bought you as a present?'

'Oh, I didn't think about that.' He frowned. People would be sad if they bought him a present, and he already had it. He didn't want anyone to be sad on his birthday.

'Okay, I'll wait until after my birthday,' he said, before resuming his skipping along the street. He would probably get lots of new books for his birthday, anyway. Everyone knew he loved stories.

After they left the bank, Remus was standing at the top of the steps outside Gringotts, eyeing the different shops and trying to decide where to go first. There were just so many to choose from. It was hard.

'We just need to make a quick stop in the apothecary. I need some potions ingredients,' his dad said.

Remus clenched his jaw and crossed his arms. Why couldn't he do that another day? Today was about the important task of party shopping. By the time they reached the shop, Remus was pouting. He knew he was pouting, and he knew it was silly, but he couldn't seem to stop.

His dad approached the counter to speak to the assistant, and Remus wandered off to look around. The potions ingredients were stacked on the shelves, some in jars or bottles, others were loose in trays. He couldn't stop looking at them, they were all so interesting.

Some of them were disgusting, like the big jar of gloopy pale green liquid that made him feel sick when he looked at it. He hurried away from that one. Others were scary, like the display of enormous claws. He shuddered at the thought of the massive creature they must have come from.

A few of the ingredients were beautiful though, and he stared at these the longest. There was a tiny vial of shimmering silver dust that he particularly liked the look of. He wanted to pick it up. He wanted to take the top off and poke his finger in to see what it felt like, but he knew he shouldn't and heroically stopped himself. It took a great deal of effort, and he was feeling pleased with his self-control when he rounded the corner into the last aisle at the back of the shop and spotted a boy who looked to be about his own age, huddled in the corner.

'Hey, are you okay?' Remus asked, walking over to the boy and squatting in front of him, attempting to see his face behind the curtain of wavy black hair.

The boy glanced up at his words. His eyes were red and puffy; he'd been crying. Remus felt a weird ache in his throat and swallowed it down. The boy stared at him, and Remus stared back. Behind the puffiness, his eyes were the same shade of silver as the glimmering powder he'd been so enchanted by a moment earlier.

'No. I did something bad, and I'm going to be in big trouble when I get home,' the boy said.

'What did you do?'

'I was running around in the street,' the boy said with a sigh. 'I know I'm not supposed to, but I can't stop myself. I just like running, you know?'

Remus frowned. That didn't sound bad to him. He ran around in the street all the time, and his parents didn't tell him to stop.

'Why's that bad?'

'Because running isn't dini… dingi… dignified,' the boy said, stumbling over the long word.

'Oh,' Remus said. That really hadn't made anything clearer. He didn't even know what that word meant. What could he do to make him feel better? Having fun always made him feel better when he was sad. When his parents punished him for doing something bad by sending him to his room, he would play with his toys to cheer himself up. Perhaps he could invite the boy to his party. That might work.

'Listen, I'm having a birthday party in a few weeks. You can come if you want. I'll ask my dad to speak to your parents.'

The boy grinned, and it lit up his entire face. He was beautiful when he smiled.

'I'd like that,' he said, sounding excited. Then his smile disappeared, and he looked down at his knees again. 'But Mother would never let me go.'

'Well, we can ask. You never know,' Remus said, shrugging. 'I'm Remus. What's your name?'

Before the boy could answer, a terrifying-looking woman strode around the corner, interrupting their conversation. She spotted Remus and the other boy and scowled at them.

'There you are, you little brat. What do you think you're doing running off to talk to filth like that?' she asked, curling her lip at Remus before turning back to face the boy on the floor. 'You're in for it now. I'll teach you to behave like a proper heir if it kills you.'

She marched over to the two boys and hauled his new friend to his feet by his arm. The boy's eyes went wide, and his face paled. A wave of heat flooded Remus' body, and he shot to his feet and kicked the woman being mean to his friend.

'You leave him alone!' he shouted.

The woman whipped around, still maintaining a tight grip on the boy's arm, and shot Remus a venomous look.

'How dare you touch me, you dirty little freak? How dare you put your filth on me?' she hissed.

Remus cowered away from her as she stalked towards him.

'Mother, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to talk to him. He just showed up. Let's go home. There's… there's too much filth around here,' the boy said, shooting Remus an apologetic look from behind his mum's back.

He understood. The boy was trying to distract her, so she would leave Remus alone, and he didn't mean the words he said. He was saying what she wanted to hear. Remus did the same thing sometimes.

The woman sent one last scowl his way and marched out of the shop, dragging the boy with her as he stumbled and tried to get his feet beneath him. Remus never even found out his name.

His dad found him moments later, and they enjoyed a few hours shopping for party supplies, spending quite some time in Sugarplum's much to his delight, and he soon pushed the memory of the boy to the back of his mind. When their shopping was complete, they headed home via the floo at the Leaky Cauldron. He hated floo travel. It made him feel sick and dizzy, and the ash always made him sneeze, but it was a small price to pay for the party, so he didn't complain.

When they emerged from the fireplace, his mum gave him a hug. 'Did you find everything you wanted, sweetheart?'

'Everything except a new book. Daddy wouldn't let me get one. He said I might get some for my birthday.'

'I agree with Daddy,' his mum said, smiling at him with twinkling eyes. 'Why don't you put everything away and wash up for dinner? It'll be ready soon.'

'Okay, Mummy!' he said, already halfway to his room at the back of the cottage.

The thought of food lifted his mood, and he rushed to get everything done so he could eat. The excessive speed made him clumsy though, and he tripped, sending his packages flying and making him bang his chin on the floor. His chin throbbed with pain, making his eyes water and his lower lip wobble, but he blinked back the tears. He would be five soon, too old to cry. Picking himself up, he surveyed the mess. His tumble had scattered the packages throughout the room. He cleaned up, piling his party supplies in the corner and padded to the bathroom where he washed his hands before following the delicious scent of chicken and chips to the kitchen.

After dinner, the family moved to the living room for the evening. His mum and dad curled up on the sofa together to watch TV. Remus sat alone in the big armchair with a picture book. He couldn't read much yet, but he liked to study the pictures and try to work out the words in their context.

'Time for bed, sweetheart,' his mum said.

Remus looked up from his book. It couldn't be bedtime already; he'd only been there a few minutes. But when he glanced at the window, it was dark outside. He'd been so focused on his book he hadn't even noticed.

'Just a few more minutes, Mum. Please?' Remus said, pulling the same face he made earlier when he asked his dad for a new book. Sadly, that face didn't work on his mum any more than it did on his dad.

'Bed,' she said in that tone he knew meant there was no point in arguing. He scowled but obeyed, putting his book away in the bookcase before padding to his room to fetch his pyjamas for his bath.

Freshly bathed and wrinkly fingered from the hot water, Remus chose a book for bedtime reading, climbed into bed and snuggled down under the covers. His mum sat down next to him and opened the book, Hogwarts: A History.

'Are you sure this is the book you want, sweetheart? It's not very entertaining,' his mum said with a sigh.

'I'm sure.' He cuddled up to her so he could see the pages. 'I want to know everything about Hogwarts before I go there.'

She gave in and read the book to him for half an hour before announcing lights-out-time and telling him to go to sleep. After kissing him on the forehead, she turned the light off and left the room, leaving the door ajar on her way out.

Remus tried hard to go to sleep. Really, he did, but he couldn't stop thinking about his upcoming birthday. He had been super excited before the shopping trip that day, but now he was almost crazy with it. The light from the full moon made it worse. It lit the room up just enough to make the party supplies piled in the corner visible.

He turned over to force himself to stop looking at the packages, but the new position meant he could see the window and a glimpse of the moon between the curtains. The moon was so beautiful. The stars were pretty too, but he liked the moon best. He listened hard and heard his parents murmuring in the living room, so he crept out of bed and dragged his chair over to the window to stand on it.

Remus stared up at the moon, mesmerised for a few minutes before he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He looked down, frowning into the darkness. What had he seen? Was there something moving in the garden?

After a moment, a large dog stalked out of the tree line. He loved dogs even more than looking at the moon. The excitement of seeing one, combined with his excitement about the upcoming birthday party, pushed him over the edge. He lost all sense of reason and opened the window.

The fresh scent of the night air rushed into the room along with a blast of cold, hitting him in the face, but he ignored it. He leant precariously out of the window, arm outstretched, as he called, 'Here, doggy. Good boy.'

The dog stalked closer, belly near the ground, ears back and growling quietly. He leant further, and when the dog came close enough that he could almost pet it, he said, 'It's okay. I won't hurt you.'

At those words, the dog leapt up, wrapped its jaw around his upper arm and dragged him out of the window. He screamed. His blood pounded in his ears, and intense pain shot through his arm and shoulder as the dog pulled him across the garden.

'Remus!' his mum's voice shouted, sounding far away.

Still screaming, he twisted his head to look back at the house. She was standing at his bedroom window, her eyes wide and her hand covering her mouth. His dad was just stepping up behind her. Remus' attention returned sharply to the dog when it suddenly let go of his arm and stood over him with its front legs on either side of his chest, leering down at his terrified face.

The dog raised one paw and ran its claws down his chest in a single, smooth action, tearing his skin open from his throat to his navel and leaving burning pain in its wake. Everything went black.

When Remus awoke, there was nothing but pain. He whimpered. Then he moaned. Eventually, he just screamed.

'You're okay, Remus,' his mum said. 'I'm right here. You're going to be okay.' Her voice cracked on the last word, and she sniffed.

'Mummy?' he said, but nothing more.

At the sound of his scream, a healer rushed into the room and reapplied the enchantment to make him sleep.

He woke on and off several times over the next few weeks. The healers at St. Mungo's kept him asleep as much as they could, but they could do nothing for the pain, and its intensity occasionally broke through the powerful magic meant to keep him comatose. They applied powdered silver mixed with dittany twice a day to stop the wounds from bleeding. Other than that, they could only wait for the lycanthropy to spread enough for the regeneration to kick in. No cure existed for the disease. Unfortunately for Remus, the regeneration wouldn't happen until a few days before the next full moon.

Many of the healers secretly wondered why the boy's parents insisted on treatment. They thought it would be kinder to let the child die of his wounds. Such a young child having to go through the monthly torture of transformation didn't bear thinking about. _All_ the healers went home after their shift and hugged their own children tightly, thanking Merlin they were safe.

On the morning of March 15th, two days before the next full moon and five days after Remus' fifth birthday, Remus' wounds finally closed, and the healers allowed him to wake properly. They lifted the enchantment that kept him asleep before slipping out of the room to allow the family some privacy.

'Mummy?' Remus said, blinking his eyes open.

'I'm right here, sweetheart,' his mum said, reaching out her hand to him.

'Don't touch him,' his dad hissed. 'He could infect you.'

Her head whipped around at his voice, and she jerked her hand away.

'Right. Sorry.' She turned back to Remus. 'How're you feeling, sweetheart?'

'Poorly.'

He was lying in an unfamiliar bed with white sheets. The walls, floor, and ceiling were also white. His mother was sitting in a hard-backed chair with beige cushions, and there was a faint beeping sound coming from somewhere.

'Am I in the hospital?'

His mum nodded. 'Do you remember what happened?'

The memories were foggy, as if they were hidden behind a thick haze, and he had to think hard to come up with an answer.

'There was a dog outside... I opened the window... It hurt me?'

His mum sighed and glanced at his dad before looking at the floor and taking a deep breath.

'It wasn't a dog; it was a wolf. A werewolf.' She paused. 'Do you understand what that means, sweetheart?'

Remus shivered. He did understand what that meant. But he didn't want to understand. Because if he understood what he thought he understood, then that would mean, that would mean...

'Am I a werewolf now?' he whispered, before cringing away from the answer, pulling the blanket up over his head to hide his face from it.

'I'm so sorry, sweetheart.'

But he didn't believe it. Didn't _want_ to believe it. Because if he became a werewolf, then...

'Will it hurt?' he mumbled into the sheet still covering his face.

His mum made a funny noise and sniffed. She breathed in and out, twice, before answering.

'Yes, I'm so sorry, Remus, but I won't lie to you. It will hurt. A lot. And you will need to be so very, very brave because we won't be able to be with you when you... when _it_ happens. But we'll be there for you after, and we'll take care of you and make you better every time. I promise.'

Remus's heart was beating painfully in his chest, and his hands were wet where they clutched the blanket. He was a werewolf now, and it was going to hurt. There was nothing he could do to change it. The full moon would come no matter what, and there was no point hiding under a blanket like a baby. He took a deep breath and pulled the blanket away to look at his mum. He was a big boy, and big boys didn't hide from things. Big boys were brave, like Gryffindors and… Would he still be able to go to school?

'Mummy,' he said, a cold weight sitting in his stomach. 'Will I still be able to go to Hogwarts?'

His mum looked down at her hands. 'No, honey. You won't. I'm so sorry.'

That final blow was too much for Remus. With his dreams shattered, he rolled over, buried his face in his pillow, and sobbed.

March 17th

Miserable. That was the best word Remus could think of to describe how he felt. He was lying on the sofa in his living room, and every bone in his body ached. That night would be his first full moon as a werewolf, and he had spent the last hour listening to his parents clean out his bedroom in preparation. Before they sent him home, the healer at St Mungo's explained to him that his wolf would be small, to begin with, only a cub really, and it wouldn't be strong enough to do much damage for a while. So his mum said he could transform in his room. According to the healer, the wolf would only 'live' during the full moon and would only grow a day in every month. So it would be several years before the wolf would be big enough to escape.

'Okay, honey, the room's ready, and moonrise is in an hour. Let's make you comfortable,' his mum said as she came through the door.

Remus jerked and looked up. He wasn't ready. He needed more time to prepare, but there was no more time. As much as he wanted it, his mum couldn't pause the moon. There was no use fighting, crying or running away. He needed to be brave. But he didn't feel brave. He just felt scared. When he glanced up at his mum, he could tell she'd been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy, and he could smell the salt in her tears. He could pretend to be brave. For her. So he pulled himself up, every aching bone protesting the action, but he refused to wince. He walked, back straight, and face determined, to his bedroom to await the moon. Lying down on his newly bare mattress and hiding his shaking hands in his armpits, he faced his mum.

'I have to leave now, sweetheart, but Daddy and I will be in the next room the whole time, and we'll come for you in the morning. You are not alone, baby. I love you,' she said.

'I love you too. Mummy. It's okay, I'll be okay,' he said, trying hard to pretend to be brave. He wouldn't let her see how scared he really was, but he desperately wanted a hug. She turned and left, closing the door firmly and locking it. He was alone.

He curled up into a ball and shivered. The aching in his bones was growing worse and spreading to his muscles.

As time passed, his skin tingled, sharp pains shot through his body beginning in his shoulders. Remus moaned. His shoulder bones snapped and reformed into a different shape, and he screamed. His hips changed next. Then his arms and legs, all at the same time.

The pain hurt beyond anything he'd ever imagined possible. His screams sounded louder, deeper and more animalistic. His fingers and toes shortened, and long claws erupted from the tips, burning and stabbing as they grew. He stared at them through blurry eyes, horrified. His face melted and bubbled and moulded itself into a new form, then his screams turned to howls as his voice box morphed. His spine lengthened, forming itself into a skeletal tail, his skin stretched to accommodate it. His new body itched all over, and he instinctively scratched at it, but his claws ripped his flesh, and he howled again at this new pain. Coarse fur sprouted from every hair follicle, covering him from head to toe.

Then finally, once the transformation was complete, his consciousness fled from the pain, and the wolf took control.

-o-o-o-o-

The wolf cub blinked his eyes open and glanced around before climbing to his feet to investigate his world.

He sniffed the air and smelled something delicious that made his mouth water. He followed the scent to an area of the wall that looked a different colour than the rest.

The delicious scent drifted through a small gap at the bottom of that part of the wall.

He scratched at the floor furiously, tearing it up, but the soft material covered something harder, and he couldn't break through it. He started head-butting the wall, trying to break it down, but it wouldn't budge, and it made him dizzy, so he stopped. He sat back on his haunches and howled in frustration.

He wanted whatever smelled so good, but he couldn't reach it. Furious, he tore around the room, scratching at the ground and the walls and everything else in his world. When nothing remained to destroy, he scratched and bit himself, but the taste of blood only made him angrier. Hours later, exhausted and bloody, he curled up to sleep.

-o-o-o-o-

Remus awoke in the morning and groaned; he hurt everywhere.

He took a deep breath, and the smell of blood hit him hard. Rolling over onto his back, he blinked his eyes open and examined his surroundings. The wolf had destroyed his bedroom. It had ripped up the carpet and torn it apart, scattering the remains around the room like blue snow. The wooden floor, revealed under the ruined carpet, sported deep scratches, as did the walls and door. The beast had knocked his desk over but otherwise, left it alone. The chest of drawers still stood but was covered in the same deep scratches as the rest of the room. He lay on what remained of his mattress, which the wolf had dragged from the bed and ripped apart with teeth and claws.

If this was the result of a cub, what would the full-grown wolf be like? He shuddered.

'Mummy?' he tried to shout, but his voice came out rough and croaky.

His mum must have been waiting right outside the door for a sign that it was safe though, because he heard the key turn in the lock the moment he spoke. The door opened slowly, and his mum stuck her head in and gasped. At the state of the room or at him, he didn't know. She walked into the room but didn't get too close.

'Remus?' she said. 'How're you feeling, honey?'

She looked down at him, frowning, and her eyes glistened with tears. He didn't want her to be sad.

'I'm okay, Mummy,' he lied. 'Just a bit tired.'

'You're covered in blood, baby. I'll fetch Daddy to fix you up, and then you can sleep.'

She left the room but quickly returned with his dad. He crouched down next to Remus and waved his wand.

'Tergeo,' he said, and siphoned the blood away. Most of his wounds had already healed, but a few of the deeper ones remained open. His dad bandaged these with another wave of his wand. When he finished, he left without saying a word. His mum watched him walk away until he had disappeared through the door, then looked back at Remus.

'Are you okay to sleep there, honey? Or do you want to come out and lie on the sofa?'

Why was his dad not speaking to him? Was he mad about the mess? It wasn't his fault. He shifted, and a wave of pain swept through his body, making him wince. There was no way he could stand, never mind walk to the sofa.

'I'll stay here, Mummy. I'm so tired,' he said and closed his eyes just to make the point, but he fell asleep almost straight away.


	2. Chapter 1

10th March 1971

Remus rolled out of bed and stomped across the bare wood floor, averting his eyes from the deep gouges in his floorboards caused by the wolf's claws. Several years ago, his dad had decided it was a waste of time repairing the cosmetic damage every month. It would take him no more than a wave of his wand, but even that small act of kindness was too much for him, apparently.

In the bathroom, he stripped off and entered the shower, forcing him to face another constant reminder of his condition, the network of scars that covered his body. Most were old, faded silvery lines of varying thickness and length, winding around his arms and legs, and crisscrossing his torso. Some were fresher, still raised against his skin in an angry red. The original bite on his upper left arm was barely visible really. But to him, the circular puncture scars were the most prominent of all his disfigurements. Tinted a pale lilac from the silver used to keep him from bleeding out, they clearly marked him for what he was. A beast. He washed with his eyes closed so he wouldn't have to see the ugliness of his body; there was no point in making his already rotten mood any worse.

Stomping back to his room to dress, he caught the scent of frying bacon drifting from the kitchen and sighed. Every birthday, she made him bacon for breakfast, bought him a gift and made a fuss like he was just a normal boy. It all felt so hollow to him. The rituals, the pretence. Pointless.

The remote Devonshire cottage his parents had moved them to after his first transformation felt like a prison at times. Their closest neighbours were six miles away, and he never travelled that far out. He had contact with no-one but his parents, and he was lonely. He glanced out of his bedroom window as he pulled on his jeans and t-shirt. The view always brought him comfort when he was getting depressed. Beautiful woodlands bordered the back garden, and he enjoyed going for hikes through the trees when he felt well enough. The natural setting soothed his soul, but there would be no chance of that today. His mum would expect them to do something together.

He just wanted to be alone.

Sucking it up and plastering a smile on his face, he trudged into the kitchen to face his eleventh birthday.

'Happy birthday, sweetheart!' his mum said as he entered the room.

He took a seat at the table, and she carefully handed him a plate filled with bacon and eggs. The caution in her movements made him clench his fists. His parents laced every interaction with reminders of his abnormality.

'Thanks, Mum,' he said, forcing his mouth to form a weak smile.

She smiled widely and sat down opposite him to begin her own breakfast.

'What do you want to do today?' she asked.

He glanced up from his plate, stopping mid-chew, and blinked at her.

'Do?' he said. 'What is there to do?'

'Don't talk with your mouth full, Remus. You're not an animal,' she said.

His face heated, and his heart pounded in his chest. Memories of his transformations ran through his mind. Watching as his fingers and toes sprouted claws. Staring down at his arms and legs covered with coarse fur. The sound of his screams turning into monstrous howls. He swallowed his food, slammed his cutlery down and stood from the table, shoving his chair out behind him so violently that it toppled over.

'That's _exactly_ what I am! A mindless animal!'

He screamed the words at her, not caring about her stricken face and fled to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Alone in his room, he curled into a ball in the corner. His eyes burned as the rage bled away, and guilt gnawed at him for shouting at his mum. She hadn't meant anything bad by what she said; the words were nothing more than a common phrase, but they had hit a nerve in him.

He recalled her expression when he screamed at her. There was fear in her shadowed eyes. Her once pretty face was tired and drawn, and he knew it was his fault. If he hadn't been so stupid and opened his bedroom window that night, they would still be a normal family. Happy and carefree, not exhausted and at each other's throats.

A quiet knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. Remus sighed, it was the same every time. She never left him to stew for long.

'Come in.'

The door opened, and as he'd expected, his mum walked in. She was carrying a small gift wrapped in shiny blue paper.

'I'm sorry for yelling at you,' he said, staring at his hands so he wouldn't have to see the look in her eyes.

'It's okay, sweetheart. I'm sorry too. I understand why you were upset. Let's forget about it and move on. I bought you a present.'

She stepped over to where he was hunkered in the corner and handed him the gift. He unwrapped the package slowly, folding the paper up to be kept and reused, before looking at the contents. He knew it was a book before he unwrapped it. Not only because of the distinctive shape and weight but because his presents were always books. Books and chocolate. That's all he wanted, and all his parents could afford, anyway. This book was special, though. It was the last book he needed for his collection; _A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration_. He was thrilled.

'Wow! Thanks, Mum. This is perfect,' he said, already flicking through the pages.

'I talked to your dad, and he agreed that you can buy a wand in September.'

That pulled his attention from his present. His head shot up, and he gaped at her. 'Are you serious?'

She nodded, beaming at him.

'Oh, Merlin! Thank you! That's brilliant!' He clambered up from the floor, not sure what to do with himself.

'You need to be careful about not overextending yourself when you practise though. You won't have the Hogwarts teachers to guide you.'

Remus ignored her. He was too caught up in his excitement to listen. The news was an even better present than the book because owning a wand meant he could practice. He hadn't expected to be able to test out his knowledge until he came of age. He wanted to hug her, but he couldn't, so he started jumping up and down instead.

'Remus? Promise me you'll be careful.'

He heard her that time and stopped jumping. 'I'll be careful, Mum. I'm always careful.'

'I know you are, sweetheart, I just wanted to make sure. Right, well, I'll leave you with your book. I'm sure you're dying to start reading it.'

Remus acknowledged the accuracy of her statement with a nod of his head, opened the book and settled on his bed to read. Knowing he would own his very own wand in a few months made studying hard even more important.

-o-o-o-o-

That evening, one hundred and fifty miles away from where Remus lay reading, a young boy with shoulder-length black hair and silver-grey eyes was staring out of his bedroom window at the almost full moon, thinking about the day a fierce bronze-haired boy with golden-yellow eyes had kicked his tormentor in the shin.

Would Remus be at Hogwarts in September? The hope burned in his chest like fire. He longed for the chance to thank him for the brief moment of happiness he'd brought him that day and for the comfort the memory had brought him on so many days since.

It had started the same way it always did. As soon as he woke up, he was in trouble. Mother had punished him the first time that morning for jumping on his bed, petrifying him with his arms in the air and forcing him to stand in the corner with his muscles locked in place for an hour. His arm muscles were burning by the time she released him from the spell.

At breakfast, he was in trouble for poor table manners. He had used his fingers to pick up a tricky piece of bacon that refused to stick to his fork. For that crime, she attached his cutlery to his hands with a temporary sticking charm, making them extremely challenging to use, and then shot a stinger at him every time he failed to pick up his food with them. How was that even fair?

In Diagon Alley, he hadn't been able to prevent himself from running around in the street; he knew he shouldn't, but the open space just called to him. A few minutes before Remus had found him huddled in the apothecary, Mother had promised him he would spend the night chained in the cellar for his inappropriate behaviour. The moment she finished spouting reprimands and took her eyes off him, he had run into the shop to hide. 

He shuddered as he recalled all the nights spent in that cellar. The memory of Remus kicking his mother in the shin and screaming at her to leave him alone had sustained him through many tough periods since it happened. Her facial expression when his foot had made contact was priceless. Unforgettable.

He hoped Remus would be at Hogwarts. He wouldn't thank him in words, though. How could he explain how much it meant to him to have someone come to his defence? How could anyone understand? But he would thank him with his actions. He would find a way; the debt could not remain unpaid.

A quiet knock sounded at his bedroom door at last, and he jumped down from the windowsill, running to open it. He eased the door open so it wouldn't make a sound and ushered his brother inside. They both stayed silent until he'd closed the door with a quiet click.

'I'm sorry for taking so long, Siri. Mother and Father stayed up late tonight,' Regulus said.

'Don't worry about it. I know you're risking a lot. But hand it over already. I'm starving,' Sirius said, grabbing the tray from his brother and lifting the lid. He leant over the plate and inhaled, taking in the delectable scent of the roast beef and potatoes before sitting down at his desk to devour his dinner.

'I can't believe it's been a week,' Regulus said, watching his older brother wolf down the food. 'Do you think they know?'

'Know what?' Sirius asked in-between mouthfuls.

'About me bringing you food.'

Sirius stopped eating and stared at his brother, rolling his eyes.

'No, Reg. If they did, they'd stop you. They'll feed me soon. They just want me to suffer first.'

His tone of voice suggested he didn't care. But he did. It hurt that his parents couldn't love him for him. It hurt that they insisted on trying to change him.

'Maybe you should just apologise.'

'Apologise for what? Telling the truth? I don't see what's so wrong with saying I don't want to be in Slytherin.'

Regulus sighed. 'All right. Have you finished? I need to put it back before I go to bed.'

'Yeah, thanks for doing this. You know I'd do it for you too. If you ever got in trouble.'

'I know,' Regulus said. 'Goodnight.'

He embraced his little brother for a moment before Regulus picked up the tray and left. He wasn't worried about him being caught. Reg would say the food belonged to him, and their parents would accept it. He wasn't the heir, so they didn't care what he did, meaning he got away with anything. He kicked the end of his bed in frustration. Why did he have to be born first? It wasn't fair. He flopped down on his bed without bothering to undress or pull back the covers and, with his belly finally full, he fell asleep.

Mother released him from his confinement the next day. First informing him, she was hosting yet another party for important members of society. The only reason she let him out was that the heir of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black needed to be present. She told him it was an opportunity to prove he wasn't a complete disappointment. He cringed. He hated these society parties; they bored him, and the guest list always contained the most awful people.

He obediently made himself presentable though, dressing in his most expensive formal robes before checking his appearance in the bedroom mirror. He was a good-looking boy. That wasn't being vain. All the Blacks were attractive people, and he was no exception. He wore his silky black hair long, as was customary for pure-bloods, and it fell in waves down to his shoulders, framing his aristocratic facial features. His eyes were a smoky grey, and they sparkled with the mischief that continuously got him punished. The expensive robes he wore had been tailor-made for him, and they hung from his frame in perfect folds. He winced at how well he passed for an arrogant Slytherin pureblood. He needed to do something about that. A knock came from the door, and Reg called through to say he should hurry. The guests were arriving, and their mother was angry that the heir was not there to greet them.

'I'll be down in a second. I'm almost ready,' Sirius said, scrambling through his desk drawers in search of something. At last, he found what he sought, shoved it in his pocket and headed downstairs to greet the guests at his mother's party.

'Ah, Abraxas, so glad you could make it. I hope you're well?' Mrs Black said, greeting the silver-haired man and offering her powdered cheek for a kiss.

'I am in perfect health, Walburga. Thank you for asking, and yourself?' Mr Malfoy said after kissing the proffered cheek.

'I am very well indeed, thank you, and your wife? I heard she was ill?'

Her face showed an expression of concern that Sirius had never seen directed his way. He groaned softly. All the chit chat bored him to tears, and this was the nineteenth introduction they had subjected him to. Yes, he was counting. Abraxas peered down at him and smirked.

'Ah, Walburga, I believe the young ones tire of this bothersome adult conversation. Perhaps we should proceed to the introductions, so they can retire to a more entertaining location?' he said.

Walburga nodded, quick to agree with her guest's suggestion, but when Abraxas turned to beckon his son, she glared at Sirius. He valiantly resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at her in response. Walburga placed a firm hand on Sirius' shoulder, digging her nails into his skin, and moved him forward. He would have bruises in the morning.

'Allow me to introduce the heir to The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Mr Malfoy. My son. Sirius Black.'

Abraxas' son stepped forward and held out his hand to Sirius.

'It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Master Black. May the friendship between our houses be long and fruitful,' he said.

Knowing what his mother expected of him as the heir, Sirius did not take the man's hand but stared at Abraxas, awaiting an introduction. Abraxas obliged.

'The heir to House Malfoy. My son. Master Lucius Malfoy,' he said with a bow.

That provided Sirius' cue, and he dutifully shook hands with the tall, white-haired young man.

'The pleasure is mine, Master Malfoy. Would you care to join me in the library for a drink?' he said, his stomach rolling at the pretence of it all.

'That would be delightful, thank you, Master Black.' Lucius turned to the adults and continued, 'Please excuse us,' bowing to them both before joining Sirius to head to the library.

Once they'd escaped from the adults, they both dropped the act. Sirius flopped down into one of the uncomfortable chairs in the library while Lucius perched on the edge of another.

'Salazar's teeth, I detest these parties, don't you?' Lucius said, grimacing.

'So very, very much,' Sirius said with a groan.

His mother's parties were a real strain on his nerves. Asking him to rein in his near-constant impulses for several hours was like asking a dog not to bark at a squirrel. He couldn't afford to make a single mistake while he was in such influential company. His mother watched his every move, and if he put a toe out of place, uttered a single wrong syllable, his punishment would be swift and brutal. It was exhausting.

'Thank Merlin I'll be back at Hogwarts tomorrow. You'll be starting in September, won't you? I'll be a seventh-year prefect. Feel free to come and find me if you need assistance,' Lucius said.

'Thank you, I'll do that,' Sirius said with a nod, although he didn't think he would. He was rather hoping not to be in Slytherin. 

Thinking of being at Hogwarts at all though caused a grin he couldn't suppress no matter how much he tried. He twisted around on the chair so he could lounge back with his legs dangling over the arm.

'I can't wait to get out of here.'

'I'm sure. I expect you have to put up with a lot more of this nonsense than I do.'

'Without a doubt.' Sirius said. 'Is there a reason your family is suddenly on my mother's invitation list?'

'There is indeed,' he said with a sigh. 'I was recently betrothed to your cousin Narcissa.'

Sirius snorted. 'I can understand why you don't appear thrilled about it. She's a bit frosty.'

'That she is, but one must do as one is told.'

Lucius scowled at his own statement. He clearly didn't want to marry the girl his parents had chosen for him, but he would be a good little heir and marry her anyway. Sometimes Sirius wished he was capable of behaving the same way, but then again, maybe not. 

He considered the item he'd secreted in his pocket at the start of the evening. 'Hey, how do you fancy livening this party up a little?' he said, pulling the dungbomb from his robes.

'Ah, the mischievousness of youth,' Lucius said, laughing. 'Yes, why not? I should get one more evening of frivolity before I'm hampered by the mundanity of married life.'

Sirius and his new co-conspirator snuck out of the library and down the hall to the ballroom. The music drifted out, lilting gently over the hum of conversation. The noise worked wonderfully as a cover for their whispered consultation on how best to carry out the task. After a fevered discussion, they decided on levitation as the most appropriate means of transportation, and the chandelier in the middle of the room as the optimum location for maximum dispersal of the dungbomb's toxic gases.

Lucius carried out the task, as Sirius had yet to even set foot inside Hogwarts. He made a wonderful look-out, however, and no one in the room noticed a thing. Once the dungbomb was suitably positioned, Lucius shot a stunner in its direction to make it explode, and they ran.

When the cries of anguish came from the ballroom, they could barely contain their laughter, imagining the disgusted expressions on the faces of the rich and powerful guests. But by the time Walburga arrived, Sirius and Lucius were once again ensconced in the library, sitting in their uncomfortable chairs and conversing quietly. They appeared to be the picture of pureblood dignity.

'Is there a problem, Mother?' Sirius asked, keeping his expression smooth and emotionless, just the way she taught him.

'No, nothing, I was looking for your father,' she lied. 'Have you seen him?'

'Not since we came to the library,' Sirius said, giving Walburga no choice but to leave.

She held no proof Sirius was behind the dungbomb. As Lucius pointed out once she was out of hearing range, no one would suspect Lucius Malfoy of being involved. If the two of them were together all evening, it obviously couldn't have been Sirius either.

-o-o-o-o-

The next day, back in Devon, Remus felt rough. It was the night of the full moon, and it was going to be a bad one. He could tell. The pain had begun before he even woke that morning, a dull ache in his bones that rarely started until midday. It was moons like this one that made him wonder if it was all worth it. Wouldn't it be easier to down an infusion of wolfsbane and silver and be done with it all?

He spent the day in bed, feeling sorry for himself, knowing the pain would continue to get worse throughout the day. When his mum came to investigate, he told her he was too sick to get up, and she brought him food, but he had no appetite for it. He tried to get some sleep and dozed, on and off, for a few hours, but the pain intensified and sleep became impossible. An hour before moonrise, his mum came to lock him in, wishing him a 'good' night, like that could ever happen.

The transformation began, and he went through his usual routine of trying to suppress the screams so he wouldn't upset his mum. He wished she would agree to silence his room instead of the whole house, but she insisted that she would be with him in that way if she could not be with him in any other. She would bear witness to his suffering, so he was not alone in it.

The pain quickly became too much, and he gave in to the urge to scream. Halfway through the transformation, he examined himself and could tell something was different. The wolf's form appeared bigger than it used to, the muscles bulkier. His room would no longer contain this beast. He tried to call out a warning, but his voice box changed, and only a howl emerged. With his last conscious thought, he prayed to Merlin, Godric and Salazar that his parents escaped in time and he wouldn't wake up the next morning an orphan.


	3. Chapter 2

March 13th, 1971

As always when he woke from a transformation, Remus was lying on his stomach. He assumed that the wolf curled up to sleep when the moon set and counted it as a blessing that he didn't have to experience the pain of morphing back into himself every time. One excruciating change every month was awful enough, two would be unbearable.

Something was different this morning, though. Usually, he woke up to the nauseating stench of blood and agonising pain in various body parts. Today, all he could smell was damp earth and pine trees, and apart from a general ache in his bones and a deep sense of fatigue, he only felt a gentle breeze caressing his naked body. His heart pounded as the realisation hit him. The wolf had escaped.

Grunting with the effort, he rolled over and opened his eyes to the sight of the bright blue sky filtered through the tree canopy. The sun's rays were warm on his skin. Thank Merlin they were in the middle of a heatwave or he'd be freezing.

When he looked around, he recognised his surroundings to an extent. He knew these woods, had spent many long hours in them over the previous few years, but he didn't know where he was within them. One part looked very similar to another, and he had no idea which direction the house lay. His parents would find him, wouldn't they? But no, the woodland was huge, and he wasn't sure if they were even in a fit state to look for him. A shiver went down his spine, and he swallowed hard, pushing the thought away. It was up to him to figure out how to get home.

He listened hard, hoping to hear the trickling sound of the stream that ran near his home. If he found that, he could follow it back, but he heard nothing but birdsong and grasshoppers. His breaths were coming short and fast, and he needed to calm down. Panicking would not help the situation. The woodland lay to the south of his home, so he needed to go north. But how could he work out which way was north? The sun! He looked up at the sky again. The sun sat very high, almost directly above him. Close to noon then, but morning or afternoon? He wasn't sure.

While he waited for the sun to move, he checked himself over—very few injuries, some scratches and bruises, but nothing worse. The wolf must enjoy being outside. Not that he could ever let it happen again. He shuddered. Gods, he hoped his parents were okay. Merlin knows how long it would take to walk back to his house, and he would need his strength if the journey was long, so he lay back down to rest. It wasn't long before he fell asleep.

When he woke for the second time, the sun had moved a little. He couldn't have been asleep for long, but it was enough to work out which direction he should walk. So, he got to his feet and set off towards home. His legs were weak and shaky under his weight, and he needed to take frequent breaks along the way to rest. The sun was hanging low in the sky by the time he glimpsed his house through the trees. He took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for gory scenes of carnage before he approached.

Remus pushed the front door open and walked inside. He'd been expecting a mess, but the state of the living room made him gasp. The wolf had torn the upholstery off the sofa and armchair, ripped the curtains down and shredded the carpet. Worst of all, the Beast had smashed the TV to pieces. Looking at it caused a tightness in his chest; his mum would kill him. If she lived to see the destruction. He hoped she was still alive to be able to kill him.

Finding no sign of his parents in the living room, he went through to the kitchen and breathed a sigh of relief to see the room relatively unscathed. The wolf had knocked the dining table over and smashed the back door off its hinges, but the rest of the room seemed normal.

He checked the rest of the house. His room exhibited its usual state of post-full-moon horror, apart from the door no longer being attached to the frame. That was new. His parent's room and the bathroom were untouched. The wolf must have gone straight for the living room, straight for his parents. He inhaled deeply and found no scent of human blood—a promising sign. But if they survived, and they were unhurt, then where were they? He grabbed some clothes from his parents' room and went to the kitchen to find something to eat and wait for them to show up.

Their absence continued well into nightfall, and he paced the floor in front of the living room window, watching for their return. During the evening, he had cleaned up most of the mess, paying particular attention to clearing the fireplace of obstruction in case they came home by floo. While doing so, he'd briefly considered flooing to St. Mungo's, but if he did, and they weren't there, the Ministry could find out his wolf had escaped. It was an executable offence, and he couldn't take the risk. There was nothing left to do but wait.

A loud crack sounded from the kitchen. Remus' head whipped around, and he hurried towards the noise. When he turned the corner, his dad was standing with his back to the door holding his mum. She was leaning against him, sobbing into his chest. Neither of them noticed him in the doorway, but he let out a breath and relaxed his tense muscles. They were both okay.

'Shh, honey, we'll find him,' his dad said, rubbing her back.

'I can't bear the thought of him out there all alone in the dark. He must be so scared, Lyall,' his mum said, still sobbing.

Remus stepped forward. 'Mum, it's okay. I'm right here.'

His mum's head jerked up, and his dad released her, spinning around.

'Remus?' she said. 'Oh, Remus, you're okay! How did you get home?'

'I'll tell you in a minute,' he said. 'Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?'

'No, we're fine, sweetheart. Your dad apparated us away the moment we heard the wolf break your door down. I was so worried, though. We started searching as soon as the sun came up, but we couldn't find any sign of you.'

They went through to the living room and his dad reparo'd the sofa and armchair. He could do nothing for the TV, though. His mum had given it a sad look but hadn't said a word about it, which only made his chest tighten even more. When they were all seated, he relayed the story of his journey back to the house. His mum praised him for his ability to think logically in a crisis. His dad only said they would need to find something more secure for the next full moon.

-o-o-o-o-

March 21st, 3:27 am

Standing out in the back garden of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, Sirius shivered. It was bloody freezing. He looked around at his extended family, all dressed in their Black family robes, jet black and inlaid with a swirling pattern in silver thread. None of them seemed to be cold, heating charms no doubt. His bitch of a mother had likely "forgotten" to do his robes intentionally. He scowled at her when she wasn't looking. Another blast of frigid air hit him, and he shivered again. He didn't want to be there. The Black family ritual disgusted him, and the long-dead ancestor that invented it was probably insane. He'd long since decided to get rid of the practice when he was head of the family. Strengthening your magical core to enhance the casting of dark magic was unnecessary if you didn't use dark magic.

The family stood in a large circle around a vast silver cauldron, which gleamed under the light of the half-moon, a glowing beacon in the dark garden. Inside, a deep purple potion bubbled menacingly. His father stood at the cauldron stirring the brew, moving his lips as he counted. Seven stirs clockwise, one anti-clockwise. His father raised a hand, and his cousin Bellatrix stepped forward. She sprinkled her handful of powdered nightshade into the cauldron with a flourish before returning to her spot in the circle. The potion turned a sickly green as his father began stirring again in a different pattern.

He had never understood why they all needed a role in making the potion. Surely, his father could make it alone and just give them all some in the morning, you know, during the daytime. His father raised his hand again, and Bellatrix's sister Andromeda walked forward. She plopped her five dragon claws into the potion one at a time. In between the addition of each claw, his father stirred the potion clockwise, and the brew lightened a little. By the time Andromeda had finished her job and returned to her spot, the potion glowed a pleasant sunshine-yellow. She glanced at Sirius across the circle and pulled a face. His father stirred the potion in a slow figure-eight pattern.

The ritual continued on, each member of the family stepping forward in turn to add an ingredient. The potion changed colour many times during the process, and the fire beneath the cauldron burned hot, then cold, then hot again.

When his father raised his hand for the last time, the potion was an ominous black, dark as the void of space, and Sirius took his turn stepping forward. His mother had given him the ingredient flobberworm mucus, the most boring one in the potion and the last to be added. The fluid's single purpose was to thicken.

Annoyed at having to stand out in the cold night for several hours just to add a thickening agent to a potion, he stomped up to the cauldron, poured the vial's contents in with a splash and stomped his way back to his position, letting his irritation show on his face as well as in his body language. His mother scowled at him. Her expression promised punishment for his actions, but he couldn't care less.

With the potion completed, Kreacher appeared holding a tray of silver goblets inlaid with emeralds. His father decanted a little of the potion into each, and Kreacher took them around to the family members. When everyone held a full goblet, his father checked the time, and at 5:38 am, the moment of the equinox, he raised his goblet and said the words of the incantation.

Everyone raised their goblets to their mouths and drank the potion. Sirius raised his too, but only pretended to drink. He assumed he must have drunk the potion when he was small, but he hadn't since he was five and his uncle Alphard had explained to him what it did. Hopefully, the potion's effects had worn off; he wanted no part of the dark arts. When everyone began heading inside, he poured the contents of his goblet into the shrubbery and spotted Andromeda doing the same. Interesting.

March 24th

Sirius paid dearly for his behaviour at the ritual. His mother had chained him in the cellar, and three days had passed with no food. Regulus couldn't reach him down there, and he lay on the floor, weak and shivering from the gnawing pain in his stomach and the cold moisture of the cellar. The odd rat was scuttling about, but Sirius didn't mind rats. He talked to them, and they kept him company in his misery. His wrists were sore and bleeding from the rough manacles, and his arm muscles ached from dragging the heavy chains around whenever he moved his arms, so he tried to stay as still as possible.

He regretted being so impulsive at the ritual. Allowing his annoyance to dictate his actions was a mistake. If he had kept himself under control and behaved with respect, he wouldn't be suffering. It was the same way every time. He would get the urge to do something, and he never stopped to think of the consequences. He wasn't sure if he even could think ahead in that way. His brain didn't seem to work like that. He would feel something and need to act on it immediately. He felt the urge to run, and he ran, the urge to jump, and he jumped. Stopping himself when he felt like that seemed impossible. He didn't understand how other people could do it.

He was still lying there, on his side on the filthy ground, when the heavy door creaked open. Peering up, he made out the silhouette of his mother framed in the doorway. He blinked a few times, and his vision cleared. 

She sneered at him. 'Have you learned your lesson, you insolent little brat?' She spat the words at him, and he flinched.

'Yes, Mother.' His voice came out croaky from lack of use.

She flicked her wand, and the manacles fell from his wrists. 'Get cleaned up and then join us in the dining room for dinner, and you better behave yourself.'

Merlin knows how he would maintain proper table manners when he felt so weak, but he needed to try. Another punishment so soon would surely kill him.

-o-o-o-o-

March 30th

Remus watched his dad digging the hole in the garden and shuddered. The pit was already deep enough that he could see only the top of his dad's head, but he was still digging. Streams of dirt flew up out of the hole and added themselves to the growing pile at the side.

Swallowing hard, he tried not to think about how cold he would be, waiting there for the moon to rise in the winter. Hopefully, his dad would think to add a warming charm, but that was unlikely. 

Transforming there would be brutal. Cold always made pain feel worse, and the wolf would hate being confined in such a compact space, especially after its taste of freedom. The beast would undoubtedly take out its frustration on itself. He hugged himself and gripped his sides, digging his fingers into his ribs. If it kept his mum safe, he would endure it.

His throat tightened, and he grimaced. He hadn't been treating his mum as well as he should recently. The wolf made him irritable and short-tempered, and he kept snapping at her over the slightest thing. His mum told him not to worry, that heightened emotions are a natural part of growing up, but he didn't believe her. She was just trying to make him feel better. Maybe one day, the wolf would take over his human body entirely, and there would be nothing left of him.

His dad continued working in the garden over the next few days. When the pit was complete, he laid a foundation of concrete and reinforced the structure with enchanted rebar. Next, he began building up the walls with cinder blocks, enchanting each one as he went. Remus sat with his back against a tree in the garden, enjoying the pleasant breeze through his hair and the sun's heat on his skin. He was rereading  _ The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 1  _ for the fifteenth time and practising the wand movements with a stick, but the distant roar of a car engine made him pause. The sound grew louder, and a minute later, his mum's battered blue hatchback came into view. He watched as she pulled up in front of the house, exited the vehicle and retrieved several bags of groceries from the boot.

She glanced over and, spotting him under the tree, yelled, "Remus, can you come inside a minute, please?"

Remus sighed at the interruption to his studying. He grudgingly closed the book, marking his page with an old scrap of parchment, and dragged himself to his feet.

When he entered the kitchen, he found his mum grinning inanely at him.

'I got you a present.'

'Why?' He gritted his teeth and fisted his hands at his sides. He didn't deserve a present. She shouldn't be spending her money on him, especially when they were spending so much on building his cage. Didn't she understand that it only made him feel worse?

'Because I love you,' she said like it was the simplest thing in the world. 'I know how worried you are about your temper. I saw this in the second-hand book section at the charity shop, and I thought it might help.'

So it was a second-hand book? That eased his guilt a bit. They usually cost very little, and he never could say no to a book.

'What is it?'

She handed him a bag, and he pulled the book out and stared at the cover for a beat.  _ Calm the Beast with Meditation _ . The book was muggle, so the title couldn't be literal, but still, it made his heart hurt.

'You saw this, and it made you think of me?' he said, looking up with tears burning his eyes.

His mum bit her lip and frowned. 'Well... yes... but not because of the title. Oh, Remus, wait, don't...'

But she was too late. He dropped the book and fled to his room.

He stayed there for the rest of the day. His mum considered him a beast. There was a painful tightness in his throat, and it was hard to breathe. He didn't know how to deal with his feelings, so he made himself get angry instead. The emotion came easily. The anger always burned, bubbling away just beneath the surface. All he needed to do was stop suppressing it.

His rage came out in a whirlwind of fury. He screamed and roared, battered his fists against the wall and kicked the furniture. The destruction he wrought on his belongings rivalled the wolf. Neither of his parents came to intervene. Probably too scared of the beast. He eventually wore himself out and fell into a fitful sleep full of nightmares about the wolf killing his parents.

April 3rd

The next day, Remus couldn't bear to show his face, and he watched from the window again as his dad worked. He'd finished laying the cinder blocks the day before. Today he was positioning one-inch thick steel rods across the top to seal the opening without blocking off the airflow. He fixed each one in place with a permanent sticking charm. How was he going to get in and out?

A knock sounded at his bedroom door, and he winced—time to face the music.

'Come in,' he mumbled, turning away from the window.

The door opened, and his mum walked in, holding the book just like on his birthday.

'I'm sorry I upset you yesterday, sweetheart. Will you give me a chance to explain?' she asked.

She shouldn't be the one apologising. It was him that had overreacted.

'No,' he started, and she winced. 'I mean, yes, you can explain, but I meant no, you shouldn't be saying sorry, I should.' He paused to stop himself babbling. 'I overreacted, and I'm sorry, Mum.'

She sat down at one end of the bed cross-legged and smiled at him, patting the spot in front of her. He joined her, and once he was settled, she started talking.

'I bought this because it's a book on meditation. If there had been another with a different title, I would have bought it instead. But this was the only one,' she said, looking him in the eye. 'Do you believe me?'

'Yes. Of course.'

'Good. Now that's out of the way. I thought it could help you because meditating gives you more control over your emotions and it can even reduce pain,' she said, holding the book out to him. 'Please, give it a chance?'

He took the book and turned it over to read the back. The blurb confirmed everything his mum had told him, and it intrigued him. Could a muggle practice really help with such a magical problem? He would give it a shot. Anything was worth a try if it would keep him from becoming a monster.

May 12th

Remus had been practising meditation every day for several weeks, and he found it was helping a little to compartmentalise the pain of the transformation. Following the instructions in the book, he had built a fortress in his mind. His castle contained hundreds of rooms. In some, he placed memories that he didn't want to think about. In others, he placed emotions, so he could control when they came out and when they didn't.

One room in his castle was built specifically for the pain of transformation. He had created it with thick steel walls and a door from a bank vault. He placed the pain inside and locked the door. Morphing into a wolf still hurt, but it was lessened a little, and he was better able to control his reactions to the pain. Hopefully, with dedication, he could lower it to a more bearable level. He wasn't delusional enough to think he could ever make it disappear completely.

The book had said he would need to rebuild his mental landscape each time he meditated, but that didn't seem to be the case for him. When he built something in his mind, it remained there when he left and was still standing when he returned. It must work differently for magical folk.

Meditation did nothing to control the behaviour of the wolf though, and the full moon two days earlier had been brutal. The wolf hated its new cage and made sure that he knew it. He had woken in the morning to find his body torn apart; the wolf had left great gouges in all his limbs and had attempted to chew its paw off. It had almost succeeded. His hand was left dangling from his wrist, and he had spent two full days in bed recovering from his wounds, despite the accelerated healing that came as a free-gift with lycanthropy.

Now that he was finally healed, he was eager to get back to it. Meditation was the first thing he did every morning, and the last thing he did every night, and this day would be no different. Indeed, it was even more important to practise when he had missed two days because of his injuries. He sat on the floor with his legs crossed and his back straight. His head was lowered, his hands in his lap and his eyes closed. He sank into his mental landscape and took pleasure in its familiarity.

His mental image of himself differed from reality. In his head, he didn't have rings under his eyes, and he wasn't pale and sickly. His mental self was strong and healthy, and he walked with quick strides as he approached the front door of his fortress. It looked like a medieval castle on the outside, surrounded by tall fences to keep out intruders. But on the inside, he had decorated for comfort, with smooth painted walls and carpeted floors in pale blue.

The door opened for him as he strolled up, welcoming him inside. He explored the halls, checking on the rooms to be sure everything was as it should be. Some doors that were supposed to be locked had worked their way open in his absence, and it took some time to resecure them.

Once he was satisfied with his mental housekeeping, he left, locked the door behind him and opened his eyes. Meditation always left him with a deep sense of calm, even better than walking in the woods. He didn't lose his temper as much anymore, and he no longer felt like he was losing control of himself to the wolf. He really should thank his mum for buying the book for him. Maybe he could get up early and make her breakfast.


	4. Chapter 3

July 6th 1971

In the highlands of Scotland, Professor Albus Dumbledore, newly appointed Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, sat at his desk completing some paperwork. He was checking through the letters of acceptance prepared by his deputy to ensure every child on the list would receive one. Whilst comparing the pile of envelopes against the list copied from the book of admittance, he also sorted them into two groups. One for children with magical lineage; they would receive their letters by owl. The other for children with muggle lineage; a member of the faculty would deliver these by hand, ready to demonstrate their magic for any disbelieving muggle parents.

Albus frowned when he came across a discrepancy, a name on his list with no corresponding letter. He sent a note down to his deputy, Professor Minerva McGonagall, asking her to come to his office as soon as possible, and she appeared at his door within half an hour.

'Albus? What do you need?' she said, walking in.

'Good afternoon, Minerva. Would you like a lemon drop?'

'No, thank you,' McGonagall said, eyeing the muggle candy with distaste.

'Straight to business then?' Dumbledore sighed. 'As you wish. We have a missing letter. Is there a reason you have forgotten Mr Lupin, or is this discrepancy merely a mistake?'

Dumbledore unwrapped a lemon drop and popped the sweet into his mouth.

'There's no mistake.' McGonagall sighed, taking a seat. 'It's a sad story, I'm afraid. A werewolf bit the poor wee lad. He was four years old when it happened.' She shook her head. 'Such a shame. His father wrote to ask us to remove him from the list.'

'Well, he must still be alive or his name would have disappeared from the book. Why will he not be coming to school?' Dumbledore said, frowning.

'He's a werewolf, Albus! You can't be suggesting we risk everyone else here for one boy.'

McGonagall looked shocked at the very idea.

'Risk? No. There's no need for risk. Are not the teachers here all Masters in our chosen fields? Between us, I'm sure we can make arrangements to accommodate the boy's condition. But think, Minerva. How much could it assist the light in the coming war if we had a magically educated werewolf in our ranks, one indebted to our cause? No doubt Riddle will attempt to recruit all manner of dark creatures over the next few years. If we had a werewolf on our side, we could hide a spy amongst them.' Dumbledore's eyes gleamed with excitement.

'I admit the idea has merit, but how do you know the boy would side with us?'

'Simply by showing him the kindness and acceptance the rest of society does not. Werewolves are easy prey for men like Riddle, ostracised as they are. We must make him feel accepted, wanted and even loved.' Dumbledore leaned back in his chair with a thoughtful expression. 'Now, let's discuss how we can ensure everyone's safety on full moons.'

-o-o-o-o-

July 8th

With the full moon occurring that night, Remus was meditating in his bedroom to prepare himself. This would be his fourth in the torture chamber, as he called the hole in the garden. His first night in the underground prison left him broken and bleeding, worse than ever before. The injuries were so severe, Remus suspected the wolf of attempting suicide. That quest would always fail though, the regeneration abilities made death from blood loss impossible. He wandered around his mental fortress checking doors and making sure everything was locked up tight.

A pounding on his bedroom door drew him from his mental landscape, and he knew it would be his dad coming to tell him it was time. He opened the door, and Lyall stood behind it, every inch of his skin covered in thick, puffy material to prevent accidental touch when he apparated Remus into the cage.

Remus hated this part. Human contact, but not quite. The almost touches felt unbearable to him. He could feel the pressure, but the bulk of his dad's coverings meant it was squishy. It didn't feel like human contact; it felt like wrapping a pillow around his arm. He held out his arm, and his dad gripped him hard, turned in a circle and pulled them both into the suffocating tunnel of apparition.

They reappeared inside the cage, and Remus sucked in a deep breath, waiting for the nausea to subside. Apparition always made him nauseous; doing it right before the moon made it so much worse. He was already ill before they apparated.

His dad tapped his foot, impatient for Remus to undress so he could take his clothes and leave. Remus disrobed as fast as possible, almost ripping his t-shirt in his haste to not make his dad angry, and handed him the bundle of material. His dad apparated away without a word, leaving Remus naked and alone in the garden cage.

A few minutes later, his mum broke the enforced solitude when she appeared above him between the bars and dropped a fluffy, purple blanket down to him through the gap. He wrapped himself in the material, feeling the warmth of gratitude flood him along with the warmth the blanket provided. It might be July, but he still shivered when sitting naked in the underground room.

They sat in silence for an hour. Remus was in no state for conversation so close to the moon, but her presence comforted him. When the first tingles of transformation fluttered through him, he pulled the blanket off and threw it up to the bars. His mum caught the edge and tugged it out.

'It's starting, Mum. You better go,' Remus said through a grimace.

He didn't want to scream until she left.

'Okay, sweetheart, I love you. See you in the morning.'

After she moved out of sight, Remus got down on all fours on the hard stone floor, knowing the position made things easier when his body morphed into a wolf, and tried to focus on his breathing. With his pain locked away in his mental vault, he maintained his calm for several minutes until the agony became too much for him to cope with, and he gave in to the screams.

-o-o-o-o-

The wolf awoke to the tiny space he had been imprisoned in for the last three days. He regretted escaping from his first world. This one was so much worse. Prowling around the cage, he wondered again how he got here. He remembered breaking out of the place that he had always lived in, and he remembered what he found Outside.

The beauty of the Outside overwhelmed him. So much space. With soft springy stuff under his feet and so many interesting smells. He ran and jumped, enjoying freedom for the first time. It was exhilarating. He met some other creatures out there. None were like him. They were much smaller, but they were friendly, and he played with them for a little while. When he grew tired, he had laid down to sleep, and when he awoke, he was here.

The air from Outside drifted in through the open-top of this unfamiliar place, torturing him with its promise of freedom, green spaces and open land where he could run and play. He spun around in a circle, whining, already knowing he would find no way out. He head-butted the wall a few times, understanding the futility of the action but needing to try. All options exhausted, he lay down with his head on his paws, defeated. Escape from this place seemed impossible. He would be trapped here forever.

He had reached the same conclusion for the last three days. The only way out was death. However much he injured himself, though, it seemed he would always be entirely healed by the time he woke up the next day. If he wanted to die before the healing began, then his injuries would need to be severe.

He scratched at himself, clawing deep into his flesh. The agonising pain ripped howls of anguish from his throat, but he didn't let it stop him. Pressing his fangs into his flesh, he bit down until they hit bone and howled again. He continued until the blood loss weakened him, and he collapsed on the hard, stone floor. As his eyes drifted closed, he hoped he had done enough damage that he would no longer be forced to endure this life, trapped, so close to freedom.

-o-o-o-o-

July 9th

The sound of a high-pitched scream woke Remus from his sleep. He groaned and rolled onto his back. The stench of blood flooded his nose, and he gagged as the odour overwhelmed his senses. Everything hurt. He forced his eyes open and immediately shut them again. The light coming through the ceiling bars burned.

'Mum?'

His voice came out hoarse and cracking.

'You're okay, Remus. Hold on, your dad's coming.'

She sounded worried. It's bad, Remus thought. It's really bad. And he let the darkness take him.

The next time he woke, he found himself tucked into his bed in his room. His mum sat in a chair next to him.

'How long did I sleep?' he asked, his words slurred with exhaustion.

'A little over twenty-four hours. How do you feel?'

'Awful, I just want to sleep more.'

'You can do that,' she said.

'Can you bring me a drink first?'

The doorbell rang.

They stared at each other. Both their faces showing identical expressions of wide-eyed fear. Who on earth would be ringing their doorbell?

'Stay here,' his mum hissed before almost running out of the room.

As if he possessed the energy to go anywhere, anyway. He listened hard, but only heard quiet murmurs coming from the direction of the front door. He waited an eternity for the mysterious visitor to leave and his mum to come back to tell him who it was.

When she did return, she was not alone. He stared with alarm at the tall man with the long white hair and beard. What was his mum thinking, bringing a stranger to his room?

'Remus, honey, this is Professor Dumbledore. He's here to make you an offer,' Hope said.

A Professor? From Hogwarts? What would a Hogwarts teacher want with him? He must want to give his students the chance to study a werewolf up close, he thought with a twinge of bitterness. Visions flashed through his mind of transforming in a cage in the middle of a classroom, his body tearing itself apart as he screamed. Groups of students watched and made comments to each other about how disgusting he was. He shuddered.

Dumbledore waved his hand at the chair next to the bed.

'May I?'

Remus shook the visions away and feigned politeness.

'If you like.'

'Thank you.'

Dumbledore sat down on the chair and looked him in the eye.

'Mister Lupin, it was recently brought to my attention that your name had been removed from the list of Hogwarts acceptance. When I inquired as to why such a terrible thing had occurred, my deputy informed me that you met with an unfortunate accident at four years old and now bear a tendency to howl at the moon once a month.'

Remus gasped, but Dumbledore continued undeterred.

'I see no reason such an affliction should prevent you from receiving an education, however. So, I am here to tell you that, should you wish to attend, there is still a place for you at Hogwarts, and we will welcome you with open arms.'

Dumbledore regarded him with twinkling blue eyes and a kind smile. Remus pulled himself to a sitting position, unable to believe his ears. The situation was surreal. He wondered if he was dreaming, or maybe it was some kind of cruel joke. How could it be true? He was a monster, unfit to be in the company of normal people.

'But how?' he asked. 'What about the full moon?'

'We are arranging accommodations for you. The school possesses a place for you to transform, away from the other students. You must tell no-one, of course. There is an unfortunate amount of prejudice against those afflicted with lycanthropy. But I'm sure an intelligent boy such as yourself can keep a secret,'

'Yes, sir,' he said.

Remus couldn't think of anything else to say. Thoughts raced around his mind in a whirlwind, but he couldn't settle on one to voice it.

Dumbledore stood and turned to Remus' mum.

'Well, I must be getting back. Lots to do before September, you understand. If you think of any further questions, please don't hesitate to get in touch.'

Dumbledore turned back to Remus and placed an envelope in his hand.

'I'll just leave this here with you, Mister Lupin. Please let me know your decision by the end of the month. Have a wonderful day.'

With that, Dumbledore swept from the room, his purple robes billowing around him and Remus' mum following to show him out.

Remus examined the envelope. Emerald green ink spelt out his name and address across the front in elegant script. He ripped the flap open and pulled out the pages inside.

Dear Mr Lupin,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1st September. We await your owl by no later than 31st July.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

Remus hugged the letter to his chest and broke down in tears.

-o-o-o-o-

August 10th

The Lupin family discussed the possibility of Remus going away to school for several days following Dumbledore's visit. Remus' dad claimed that the risk to other students was too great. He might brush against someone in the hallway or at mealtimes and infect them. The dining hall got crowded. Remus appealed passionately for his right to an education. He promised that he would be careful. He would wear gloves and long sleeves at all times and avoid crowds by going to class early and eating when the hall was quiet. His mum argued on his behalf. She knew attending Hogwarts meant everything to him, and she wanted him to be happy.

Remus found it strange that in the end, while his lycanthropy was his biggest obstacle to his mission, it also turned out to be his greatest ally in this one battle. In a sudden burst of inspiration, he had the fantastic idea to casually mention to his mum that a trained medi-witch worked at Hogwarts. Someone who could give him top-notch medical care after every full moon for the next seven years. His mum had put her foot down, and the decision was made. Remus would go to Hogwarts. And that was final.

This morning, Remus was jittery with excitement. They were going to Diagon Alley to get his school supplies, and not only would he be getting everything he needed for school - school! He could scarcely believe it - but he would also get to see other people for the first time in years. Not counting Dumbledore. He had been too nervous that day to really enjoy the experience. He paced back and forth in front of the fireplace waiting for his mum to get ready to leave. When she walked in, after he had waited for what felt like hours, she laughed at his impatience and told him to stop wearing a hole in the carpet.

They headed to Ollivander's first. The wand was the most expensive item on the list. They could only purchase it new, and the prices varied depending on which wand chose you. So by getting it first, they would know how much money they had left for everything else.

The little bell above the door rang as they opened it, and they walked into a seemingly empty shop. The walls were lined with shelves from floor to ceiling, and the shelves overflowed with long rectangular boxes. There was a small waiting area in one corner with a table and two chairs, but nothing else except the counter and a door behind it.

'Good morning, please come in. I'll be with you in a moment,' a voice shouted from the back room.

Remus and his mum stood in the middle of the dingy room and waited. A few minutes later, a plump old man with white hair walked out from the door behind the counter.

'You must be here for your first wand. Wonderful! Just stand there a moment, lad. Put your arms out to the sides. That's right. I'll just take your measurements.'

He waved his wand, and a tape measure flew over and started measuring various parts of Remus' body.

'Which is your wand hand?' the wizard asked as he rooted through the shelves, picking out the odd box and piling them on the counter.

'Er, my left,' Remus said, seriously unnerved by the tape measure, which was now measuring the space between his eyebrows.

Ollivander turned around and saw his predicament. He waved his wand, and the tape measure returned to the counter. Remus breathed a sigh of relief,

'Right then, there are a few possibilities here for you to try.'

He picked up a box and pulled out a greyish-brown wand with delicate carving around the base. 'First is this one: apple-wood, 11 inches, dragon heartstring, pleasantly swishy. Exceptional for charms. Give it a try.'

He handed the wand to Remus, and the moment it touched his hand, it shot out a burst of light that blew up the small table in the corner.

'Nope. No. Definitely not,' Ollivander said, snatching the wand back.

'I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. It was an accident, I swear.'

The shock of the explosion made Remus' eyes fill with tears. Maybe he wouldn't even be able to own a wand. What if they all reacted like that to his touch? Would life be so cruel as to dangle his dream in front of him this way, only to snatch it away again?

'Not to worry. That sort of thing happens all the time. Perhaps this one will suit you better, hmm?'

He pulled out a wand made from pale, almost white wood. It was perfectly smooth apart from two grooves either side of the grip. It was beautiful.

'Elm, 9 and ¾ inches, phoenix feather, quite inflexible, brilliant for transfiguration. Go on, don't be shy.'

Remus accepted the wand with caution, not quite believing the man would let him touch another after the disaster of his first try. The wand felt a little warm in his hand, and he gave it a wave. It sputtered, but nothing else happened.

'Hmm, that one's close but not quite right. Let me see.'

He rubbed his chin and eyed the shelves for a moment before jumping forward as if in receipt of some sudden inspiration.

'I know, try this one.'

He pulled out a jet black wand with runes carved into the base. Remus eyed the thing with distaste. Black? Because I'm a dark creature? Wonderful, he thought.

'Ebony, 9 inches precisely, unicorn hair, slightly springy. A nice all-rounder, this one.'

Remus took the wand, and warmth travelled up his arm and spread through his chest. The wand shot out red sparks, and the wand-maker clapped his hands together.

'Wonderful, a lovely choice,' he said. 'Ebony wood favours those who are not afraid to be themselves and those who are steadfast in their beliefs. The unicorn hair provides smooth, consistent magic. Combined, they make for a most powerful wand.'

Maybe black doesn't always mean bad, Remus thought, admiring his new wand while his mum paid.

Next, they stopped at Madam Malkin's for his uniform. They picked up quills, ink and parchment from the stationery store and, of course, Remus already owned all the books required. They saved the apothecary for last, not wanting to be weighed down by the bulky cauldron and potions kit all day. By the time they finished purchasing everything on the list, there remained just enough money to get Remus an owl.

'The school keeps owls for the students to use, Mum. You don't need to waste money on that,' Remus said, juggling his new cauldron and trying to find a way to carry it that didn't make it bang against his legs.

'I know. I'm buying you one anyway,' she said, taking the cauldron from him and smiling.

Remus gave up, and he entered Eeylops Owl Emporium with trepidation. The stench would be so much worse for him than for normal people, and he wondered if the owls would react to his canine-ness.

The odour hit him in the face as soon as he pushed the door open. He tried not to breathe too much, and only through his mouth, but the droppings and the musty, animal scent were still overpowering and made him gag. To his surprise and delight, the owls made no reaction to his presence in the shop.

'Good afternoon. How may I help you?' the shop-keeper asked as they walked up to the counter.

'Hello, I'm here to purchase an owl for my son to take to Hogwarts,' his mum said, a hint of pride in her voice that made Remus blush.

Remus didn't understand what she was proud of though. The school had accepted him, it was true, but that wasn't an achievement. He might be useless at magic yet.

'Excellent, well, come along, son. Let's see if any of our feathered friends take a liking to you, shall we?'

The shop-keeper walked out from behind the counter and made to put his hand on Remus' shoulder, but Remus shied away from the contact. He didn't want to infect the older man. The man's eyes widened with surprise, but he took the hint, dropped his hand and, in a smooth recovery, stepped ahead of Remus to lead him through the shop.

'Follow me. This way.'

He led Remus through the shop. Some of the owls ignored Remus completely as they wandered through the maze of perches, a few opened a sleepy eye, gazed at him and went back to dozing. One owl though, a small one with greyish-brown plumage and a haughty expression, flew down from a perch in the rafters and landed on Remus' shoulder. Remus jerked a little with surprise and carefully turned his head to look the bird in the face.

'Hello there, little guy. You're just as tiny as me, aren't you?' he said to the bird, smiling a little at the sensation of physical contact with another living being. The owl let out a deep whistle in reply and nuzzled Remus' cheek.

'I reckon we've found you a match,' the shop-keeper said. 'You're a lucky boy. Scops owls are picky when choosing a wizard to bond too, but they are unerringly loyal when they do.'

'Thank you, sir. Is it a girl or a boy?' Remus asked, wanting to name his new friend.

'She's a girl, and she's only a year old, so she will be with you for many years. With magical assistance, she may live to be thirty.'

Remus ached at the idea of his new friend dying, so he pushed it from his mind. A girl, he thought, and wondered about what to call her; he wanted her name to be something perfect.


	5. Chapter 4

September 1st, 1971

Remus had checked his trunk four times that morning, but he checked it again, just to be sure everything was there. He couldn't quite believe it was true. He was going to Hogwarts. To learn magic. With other people his age. Like a normal person. He glanced around his room, looking for anything he might have left out, but saw nothing. It was unlikely he would have forgotten anything if he were honest; he'd been making lists for weeks.

'Remus, are you ready? It's time to go,' his mum shouted.

His heart leapt with excitement. Grabbing onto the end of the heavy trunk, he dragged it into the living room where his mum was waiting for him by the fireplace. When he reached her, he bent over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath before returning to his room for his owl. She was already perched in her travel cage, and she whistled at him softly when he picked her up.

'Don't worry, Rieka. You won't be in there for long. You'll have the whole owlery at Hogwarts and the freedom to go for a fly whenever you like.'

She whistled again, and he assumed she understood and wasn't mad at him. He carefully carried the cage out to where his mum was waiting for him, trying not to jostle her.

They were taking the floo to Platform Nine and Three Quarters, much to Remus' dismay, but nothing could spoil his mood today. He placed the cage down and grinned up at his mum.

'Ready!'

The two of them travelled through the floo and emerged on the platform at quarter past ten. It had been Remus' suggestion to arrive early to avoid the crowds, and his plan had worked out well. The platform was almost empty. There were only a few early arrivals dotted about, and it was close to silent, so his mum crouched down to speak to him.

'Now, remember, you need to be careful. Try to eat your meals when there are fewer people in the hall and avoid crowded places.'

'I know, Mum. Don't worry.'

He was getting annoyed with the constant reminders. He knew what he had to do to stay safe. It was his life on the line if he messed up, not hers. Yet she kept telling him again and again like he was stupid.

'Good. But try to have fun too, sweetheart, and don't forget to write.'

Remus nodded.

'I'll owl you tonight.'

'I'll look forward to hearing all about it then. You better get on the train before more people arrive. I love you, and I'm so happy for you.'

She stood up and smiled at Remus, clasping her hands to her chest. He smiled back, feeling a tad guilty for his uncharitable thoughts a moment ago and wishing he was allowed to hug her. But knowing it was impossible, he turned and grabbed his trunk and his owl instead, hauling them onto the train in search of a secluded compartment.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius was running late. Kreacher had apparated him to the platform at 10:55 am, despite Sirius having been ready since ten o'clock. The crotchety house-elf had deposited Sirius' trunk next to him and disapparated without a word, leaving him alone on the platform.

The place was crowded, people swarmed the platform in groups, talking loudly and pushing trolleys full of belongings. Sirius couldn't see anything. He didn't know which direction the train was in, and he only had five minutes to board. He panicked.

'Don't I know you?' a female voice said close to his ear.

Sirius whipped his head around in surprise and saw an old woman with grey hair. She was bent low to speak to him. He didn't recognise her, but she might be able to help him.

He gave her his most charming smile and said, 'I don't think so, ma'am, but if you would point me in the direction of the train, I'd be grateful.'

She stared at him, her eyes roaming his face.

'Yes. I do,' she said thoughtfully. 'You're Walburga's boy, aren't you? The train is this way, dear. Is that your trunk?'

He nodded to both questions, and she shrank his trunk down to the size of a small suitcase with a quick Reducio. He picked up the now miniature trunk and followed her to the train, grateful that at least some people were kind and helpful. Unlike his bitch of a mother who had purposefully made him late to the station "so he wouldn't have time to disgrace himself."

'Oh look, there's my James. Why don't you go with him? James!' she shouted, waving at the messy-haired boy with glasses who stood near the train.

He was dressed in expensive robes, which looked very comfortable to Sirius, and was standing next to a much older version of himself, most likely his father. Next to him was a very expensive-looking mahogany trunk. Sirius sized him up in a moment and was left confused. He had the air of a wealthy pureblood about him, but his relaxed attitude didn't fit.

'There you are, Mum. We thought you got lost,' James said with a grin. Spotting Sirius next to her, James turned his attention on him. 'Hi there. I'm James Potter. Who are you?'

Ah, a Potter, that explained everything. They were wealthier even than the Blacks, but they were muggle-lovers, a disgrace to their name if you asked his mother. Which he didn't. Ever. He couldn't let a Potter outdo him in confidence though, so he stepped towards the boy.

'My name's Sirius,' he said, purposefully leaving out his surname.

He flashed his trademark grin and held out his hand to shake.

James shook his hand and leant forward.

'Do you like mischief?' he asked, in a whisper.

Sirius thought back to the dungbomb at his mother's party. All the guests had been stinking like dragon dung when they left. It was brilliant. He smirked at James.

'Who doesn't?'

'Excellent!' James said, clapping his hands.

He grabbed Sirius' arm and dragged him towards the train.

'Let's go to school,' he said, and then much quieter, and for Sirius' ears only, he added, 'and become legends!'

Sirius laughed. James' exuberance was a little overwhelming and not the kind of behaviour he was used to. The people in his family were all sedate and dignified. Passion was not a trait the Blacks were known for, not in public at least. But it also pleased him to have found a potential friend so fast, and a Potter no less. That would piss his mother off more than anything. Well, not as much as if he befriended a mudblood or some filthy half-breed, but it was a close second, and the best part was she couldn't object because the Potter's were higher up the social ladder than the Blacks.

Mrs Potter waylaid them in their quest to board the train, grabbing James by his arm and pulling him in for a hug.

'How dare you try to leave without saying goodbye,' she said, showering kisses down on his head.

James struggled in her arms.

'Mum! Not in front of Sirius,' he whined.

Sirius would prefer it if she stopped too. Not because he thought James had anything to be embarrassed about, but because the display of affection reminded him how little of it he received in his own life, and the pang of jealousy didn't sit well with him. He was the Black heir; he shouldn't be jealous of anyone.

'Oh, don't be silly. Why should you care if your friend knows I love you?' she asked, laughing. 'Go on then. You can leave. Don't forget to write!'

She unshrunk Sirius' trunk, and they both dragged the heavy boxes onto the train and into an empty compartment.

The train ride passed uneventfully, mostly. There was an argument with a greasy, dark-haired kid and his red-headed girlfriend about Slytherin. It seemed like James really hated Slytherins, and that knowledge made Sirius' gut ache. He didn't think he would be placed in Slytherin, but if he was, would James still want to be his friend? From what he'd seen, he doubted it. They had only known each other for a few hours, but already he felt a deep bond with the other boy. A fellow heir to a high-ranking house and a sizable fortune even bigger than his own. He didn't want to lose his friendship so soon.

There was also a minor incident with a firecracker in the bathroom, but that had nothing to do with them, honest.

When they were roaming the corridors, Sirius had kept a look-out for Remus, the boy from the apothecary. But he didn't see anyone who resembled him in any of the carriages they explored. Maybe at the welcome feast, he thought hopefully.

They disembarked from the train at Hogsmeade Station and joined the other first years gathering around a giant man covered in more hair than any animal Sirius had ever seen. He introduced himself as Hagrid and led them to the edge of the Black Lake. Apparently, they were expected to get to Hogwarts by crossing the water in rickety old boats that looked ready to sink.

Sirius boarded a boat with James and gingerly took a seat, hoping it was clean and dry. How embarrassing would it be to arrive at the feast with a dirty wet patch on his ass? He scanned the bank and the other boats for anyone who resembled Remus but came up empty. It wasn't long before they were joined in their boat by a plump boy with a round face. He said his name was Peter, and he was dressed decently, even if his robes weren't quite the quality of James' and his own.

A few minutes later, a small boy with long tawny hair and robes that were two sizes too big approached them. His face was gaunt, and he had dark circles under his eyes. He looked like a strong wind might blow him away. Sirius put on his best haughty expression and spoke with the perfect enunciation of a pureblood who had received speech tutoring since the age of two.

'Can we help you?'

He even managed to look down his nose at the strange boy despite being at a lower elevation. His mother would be proud.

The boy seemed to quake a little, but then gathered courage from somewhere and spoke in a soft, clear voice, 'Oh, um, I was hoping I could ride with you?'

'I'm afraid not. This seat is taken,' Sirius said, before turning away in dismissal.

He watched out of the corner of his eye as the boy's shoulders drooped and he wandered off to find another boat. Sirius felt a little bad for being so rude to him, but he needed to save the seat for Remus in case he was here.

'Who are we keeping the seat for?' James asked.

'Someone I met when I was younger. I was hoping he'd be here, but I don't see him. His name's Remus,' Sirius said.

A few minutes later, the bank was clear of students, and the boats moved off across the lake. He scanned the boats again and caught the eye of the strange boy from before. He was in the same boat as Hagrid, and he looked terrified. His knees were pulled up to his chest, and he appeared to be trying to make himself as small as possible. A flash of guilt shot through him, and he looked away.

The boats took them to a docking area on the other side of the lake, and Hagrid led them into a compact waiting room, told them to wait and left. Sirius and James made their way to the back of the room with Peter following like a lost puppy. Sirius noticed the sickly boy had huddled himself into the back corner of the room. With the better lighting inside, he looked even more unwell, and he was watching his surroundings in a way that felt familiar. He was scanning for danger.

The door to the little room opened, and a severe-looking woman walked in. She had her dark-brown hair secured in a bun at the back of her head, and she peered at them over her glasses. The story of her life was mapped onto her face in wrinkles, and her hair had streaks of grey. Her appearance was so unlike that of Sirius' family. He liked her immediately; she looked so real.

She introduced herself as Professor McGonagall, gave a speech about the houses and said something about rule-breaking and house points that Sirius didn't catch. When the tedious speech was over, she took them through to the Great Hall for the sorting ceremony. James and Sirius stayed together as they entered the hall, and Peter continued to trail in their wake. They waited while a decrepit-looking hat on a stool sang a song about the four houses and what they stood for, and then McGonagall started talking again.

'When I call your name, you will sit on the stool and place the sorting hat on your head. When it calls out your house, you will join your housemates at their table.'

Sirius cringed at the thought of putting that ancient thing on his beautiful hair. How many other students had it touched in all the years since the school opened? How many of those people had had dirty, greasy hair? He shuddered. Professor McGonagall started reading out the names, and the hat sorted each one. It took longer with some than others, but each one brought Sirius closer to his fate. He was so nervous now that he was sweating in his robes.

'Black, Sirius,' she called.

'Good luck, mate,' James said, patting him on the shoulder.

Sirius glanced at his friend, keeping his expression smooth and free of the anxiety he was feeling inside. He ran a hand through his hair, stuck his chin in the air, and with all the pretend confidence he could muster, he strode up to the stool, picked up the hat, sat down and placed the disgusting thing on his head. Not Slytherin, he thought, please not Slytherin.

'Not Slytherin?' a voice said in his head. 'Well, isn't that unusual for a Black? Let's take a look at you then. No ambition as such, unless you count a desire to cause trouble. But plenty of cunning. You would do well in Slytherin.'

No, anywhere but Slytherin, please, Sirius thought.

'Well, if you're sure. Let's see where else you could go. Ravenclaw would not suit you. You certainly have the intelligence but not the desire for knowledge. And Hufflepuff is definitely out. But maybe Gryffindor. You have bravery in abundance, that much is clear from your request. Going against your entire family takes courage, and might also be considered rather reckless. I think you're right, young man. You're not a Slytherin at all. You're one hundred percent GRYFFINDOR!'

The hat screamed the last word, and Sirius sat there for a moment in shock. His heart leapt; he wasn't in Slytherin. School might be even better than he thought. Not just a brief reprieve from his parents, but an actual pleasure. He yanked the hat from his head to stunned silence in the Great Hall. There was a smattering of applause from the teachers' table, and a few students were clapping, but the majority just stared at him. All except for a lone voice coming from the group of waiting first years. James was at the back of the crowd, and he was jumping up and down, whooping and clapping enough for the entire hall. Sirius grinned at his friend, hoping James was right to believe himself a Gryffindor.

He stood up and walked to the Gryffindor table, head held high despite the silence of the hall. There were a few calls of 'traitor,' from the Slytherins, but that just made his grin bigger. He glanced over to the snake's end of the hall and caught the eye of Lucius Malfoy. The Slytherin prefect shook his head at him and averted his gaze. He was no longer welcome there then. Shrugging off the rejection, Sirius found a seat near the middle of the table and waited for James.

The sorting continued, and he was thoroughly bored. And hungry. It was taking forever. Name after name, child after child, was called and sorted. It all blurred together. Then he heard a name that made him sit up and pay attention.

'Lupin, Remus.'

Sirius craned his neck to see the stage and waited impatiently for someone to step forward. For the longest moment, no one moved, and Sirius' heart sank. He wasn't here; he hadn't come. His heart sank even further when a boy finally did move. He walked up to the Sorting Hat in his far too long robes, tripping on the way, and sat down. Well shit, Sirius thought, if this isn't the most stupendous fuck up of my life.

-o-o-o-o-

Remus had been terrified when Hagrid said he could ride with him. The man was humongous, and Remus had to curl himself into a ball to make sure he didn't touch him. He had made a very uncomfortable journey across the lake, catching the eye of the horrid boy who had been rude to him before. They still had an empty seat in their boat. They hadn't been waiting for anyone. It had been a lie. They just didn't want to ride with him, and he couldn't blame them.

He was relieved to reach the other side and escape the cramped confines of the boat. The relief was short-lived though. When he saw the size of the waiting room, he groaned. Why was everything so small? It was a castle for goodness' sake. Shouldn't everything be big? He crammed himself into one of the back corners out of the way and hoped no one would come too close.

Thankfully, they weren't there for long and were soon led through to the Great Hall for the sorting. Remus was glad to see the size of the hall but eyed the tables nervously. The bench seating would make things difficult. He would need to sit at the end so he could quickly slide off if someone sat too close, he decided.

The rude boy from the boat was sorted into Gryffindor, and Remus hoped he would be placed somewhere else. Anywhere else. Unfortunately, he had already deduced Gryffindor to be his probable destination. He was smart enough for Ravenclaw, but it would be dangerous to be surrounded by people with too much intelligence. Slytherin was out since he was a half-blood and a dark creature to boot. Hufflepuff was unlikely because, again, dark creature and that all left Gryffindor. Although he didn't really consider himself to be brave or reckless either. Maybe the hat would just send him home.

The professor continued calling out names, and the closer she got to the Ls, the more nervous Remus became. Would the hat know he was a werewolf? Maybe it would refuse to sort him. Horrific visions flew through his mind. The hat screaming out, 'werewolf,' repeatedly while Remus was chased from the hall by students shooting spells at him. Remus sitting for minutes on end, surrounded by whispering students as the hat stubbornly refused to speak his house until Dumbledore came and led him away. Oh, Merlin, this was a mistake. He should never have come.

'Lupin, Remus,' McGonagall called, tearing him from his anxious thoughts.

Remus didn't move at first; he was frozen with fear. He took several deep and calming breaths before taking a step towards this fate. Once he had taken the first step, the second was easier, and he approached the stool and took his seat. He placed the hat on his head and waited.

'Well, well, well, what do we have here?'

The hat spoke in his head, making Remus jump. He hadn't expected it to talk to him.

'A young werewolf, coming to school to learn magic. This is new.'

Don't tell, please don't tell, Remus thought frantically, tears burning his eyes.

'Don't worry, little cub, I couldn't even if I wanted to. And I don't. You're a brave little cub, aren't you? I can see that, the way you walked to your first transformation, and your efforts not to scream. If I had eyes, it would be enough to make me cry. I have no problem sorting you. You're a GRYFFINDOR!'

The hat shouted the last word, and Remus pulled it off; he tried to wipe his eyes discreetly, but he was sure everyone saw. He put the hat down on the stool and hurried to the Gryffindor table, hating the sensation of everyone staring at him. The rude boy from earlier seemed to be beckoning him. Sirius Black he was called, Remus ignored him. There was no way he could sit in the middle of the bench even if he did want to sit with him, which he didn't. Remus took a seat right at the end as he had planned and turned his attention to the stage.

A few more students were sorted into Gryffindor, including Black's friends, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew, before it was over. Dumbledore stood and welcomed them to the school before announcing the feast. At his words, the tables filled with overflowing dishes and Remus' belly growled at the sight. He had never seen so much food in his life.

Remus eyed the food as he waited for the flurry of reaching hands to die down. What he really wanted was the roast beef he could see further down the table, but there was no way to get to it without risking contact with other students. So he settled for the mushroom and rice dish nearest him, wrinkling his nose at the taste. He hated mushrooms.

Dessert was a vast improvement. He was able to snag a piece of chocolate cake, and he ate it slowly, savouring every bite of its heavenly flavour. When everyone had finished eating, the prefects of each house led the first years to their common rooms. Gryffindor's was located on the seventh floor behind a portrait of an overweight lady in a pink dress. They were led inside, Remus waiting until last, and given a lecture about curfews and other rules and pointed towards their dormitories. Remus watched Black and Potter racing each other up the stairs, Pettigrew trailing behind, and decided to wait a while before going up himself, finding a quiet corner to curl up in.

When his eyes began to droop, he decided it was time to find out where he would be sleeping and headed for the stairs. He soon found the door with his name on it and groaned when he saw he would be sharing it with Black, Potter and Pettigrew. He was disappointed, but not surprised. It was typical of his luck.

He took a deep breath and gripped the door handle. He turned it and pushed. As the door swung open, he heard the unmistakable voice of Black proclaim, 'Ugh, this is a nightmare!' and his face warmed. The boy could only be referring to having to share a room with him. He decided the best course of action would be to keep his head down and stay out of the way. He didn't want any trouble.

-o-o-o-o-

Over dinner, Sirius had told James the story of how he met Remus. James was a pureblood and well aware of the Black family's reputation, so he had no trouble believing the tale regarding how vile his mother was. What he struggled to believe was Remus' part in the story.

'That sickly looking kid? He kicked your mum and shouted at her?' he had asked, looking at Sirius as if he'd said dragons were no more dangerous than a fluffy kitten.

'Well, he didn't look sick back then,' he'd replied.

Now they were in their new dorm room, which they would share along with Peter the excited puppy and Remus, who probably now hated him.

'I've screwed everything up, James. What am I going to do? He hates me now!' Sirius said, pacing the room like a caged hippogriff.

'You'll just have to show him you're not really a cold, upper-class dickhead,' James said with a shrug. Which was extremely unhelpful in Sirius' opinion. 'Unless you are a cold, upper-class dickhead, of course. Are you a cold, upper-class dickhead, Sirius?'

He looked up at Sirius from where he sat, cross-legged on his bed, with an expression of genuine curiosity on his face.

'No more than you, you wanker,' Sirius said before flopping dramatically onto his own bed. 'Ugh, this is a nightmare!'

At that very moment, the door opened, and the object of his distress tripped into the room. Remus' face was flushed crimson, and his gaze darted around frantically until he spotted his trunk at the end of one of the beds. He stumbled over to it, rooted through the contents and pulled out a wad of blue material before climbing onto the bed and drawing the surrounding curtains without saying a word to any of them.

Sirius glanced at James and flung his hands in the air in the universal sign language of, 'What the fuck do I do?' James just shrugged and started getting ready for bed. Sirius scowled at him and stared at the closed curtains for a minute, trying to decide whether to try talking to Remus now or wait until morning. Deciding to wait, he changed into his pyjamas and climbed into bed.


	6. Chapter 5

Thursday, 2nd September

Sirius growled to himself as he checked his reflection in the mirror the next morning. He had jerked awake at six o'clock despite his mother not being there to scream him awake. Members of The Ancient and Most Noble House of Black did not laze around in bed all day.

His hair was as perfect as always, and he was about to turn away when Remus walked in. He took one look at Sirius' irritated face in the mirror and scurried into a cubicle like a frightened mouse.

Dammit! He must think Sirius was angry at him, when he was just annoyed at his own inability to sleep-in.

Sirius stared at the closed cubicle door for a moment before deciding that talking to Remus while he was showering was a terrible idea and he would have better luck if he waited for him in the common room. He left the bathroom, tiptoed across the dorm room to get his school bag and crept out to wait by the fire for an opportunity to redeem himself.

He wasn't sure what he would say to Remus when he got the chance. How could he fix the mess he had made of everything? But he had to try.

-o-o-o-o-

Remus stood under the shower. The heated water streaming over his body was magnificent on his aching muscles. The shower was far more powerful than the one at home, and he knew it would help with the residual pain post-full moon. He was almost looking forward to it.

Finding Black already up and dressed when he entered the bathroom had startled him. He had expected everyone else to still be asleep and cursed himself for not thinking to check the other beds. If he had known Black was in the bathroom, he would have waited until after breakfast to shower. The boy had said nothing to him, but the glare he had given was bad enough. Remus cringed at the memory.

After he finished dressing, Remus grabbed his school bag and headed out of the room, being careful not to wake the others. There was no sense in antagonising them when they already disliked him. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he spotted Black sitting and staring into the fire with his back to the rest of the room.

Taking a deep breath, Remus hurried across the room towards the portrait hole on his tiptoes, hoping Black wouldn't notice him. When he reached the entrance, he pushed on the back of the portrait. He was almost away, but as the door swung open, the hinges creaked and Black's head whipped around, searching out the noise.

'Remus!'

Remus ignored him and clambered through the hole, shoving the portrait closed behind him in the hope it would slow Black down if he gave chase. He sprinted down the corridor looking for somewhere to hide. He ran for as long as he could, but after a while, he needed to stop and catch his breath. Bending over with his hands on his knees, he panted hard. It didn't seem like Black was coming after him. Good. Now he just needed to figure out where he was.

Remus looked around for a clue, signposts would be useful, but all he saw was an ugly stone gargoyle. As he studied it, the statue slid to the side and revealed a moving staircase behind it, slowly spiralling towards the ground around a central pillar. As Remus looked on, the Headmaster moved into view standing on the bottom step, and when the staircase came to a stop, Dumbledore stepped off and strolled over to Remus.

'Ah, Mister Lupin, how fortuitous that I should bump into you first thing this morning. Have you eaten?'

'No, sir.'

'Wonderful, perhaps you would like to join me in my office for breakfast? There are a few things we need to discuss.'

'Yes, sir.'

Remus felt like an idiot. Surely he could manage something more than a two-word response, but whenever he was in the Headmaster's presence, he found himself tongue-tied. Dumbledore must have been developing a terrible opinion of him.

'Wonderful,' Dumbledore said in a tone that suggested nothing in the world could make him happier than the company of an adolescent werewolf while he ate.

Dumbledore returned to the hidden staircase and Remus followed. When they stepped on, the stairs began moving back up, and the gargoyle sealed the gap behind them. They reached the top and stepped off onto the landing. Dumbledore pushed open the polished oak doors and led Remus into his office.

'Have a seat and I'll order the food.'

Remus took a seat at the small table Dumbledore indicated as the Headmaster summoned a house-elf and requested they send a meal-for-two up from the kitchen. The house-elf bowed before disapparating away. Moments later, a platter of breakfast foods appeared in the middle of the table, along with two plates and cutlery, two goblets and a pitcher of iced pumpkin juice. Dumbledore sat down opposite him.

'Help yourself.'

'Thank you, sir.'

They ate in silence for a few minutes. Remus was starving after his lacklustre meal the night before, and he was valiantly attempting to eat politely and not gobble the food down. Dumbledore studied him as he ate, and after a while, it was making Remus uncomfortable, so he broke the silence.

'You said there were things you wanted to talk to me about?'

'Yes, indeed. We must discuss the arrangements we've made for the full moon. It's on Sunday, I believe?'

Remus nodded.

'Our school medi-witch, Madam Pomfrey, is insisting on giving you a full check-up before then. So I will need to escort you down to the hospital wing after our meeting.'

Remus gulped at this news. He detested hospitals; they brought up memories he didn't enjoy thinking about, and he had been hoping to avoid the place until Sunday evening. But, he supposed, it would be better to face it sooner. It would make his first moon at Hogwarts less stressful if he was already familiar with his caretaker.

'But before we get to that, I wanted to speak with you about your experience here so far. How are you settling in? I noticed you seemed rather uncomfortable in the Great Hall last night.'

Dumbledore continued eating his food, concentrating on his plate and affording Remus the opportunity to gather his thoughts. He didn't know how to answer that question. Surely Dumbledore knew how infectious he was. But if he did, he wouldn't be confused about Remus' discomfort in the crowded dining hall. Was it possible that Dumbledore was unaware of how big a risk he had taken, allowing Remus into the school? And if that was the case, what would he do if Remus told him? Dumbledore might kick him out. Remus couldn't bear the thought. The only course of action was to use the lie he had prepared for the other students.

'I'm afraid of being touched, sir. The hall was crowded, and I was scared.'

Remus looked down at his plate while he spoke, so Dumbledore wouldn't see the lie in his eyes.

'Oh. I see. What an unfortunate phobia. That must be difficult for you, on top of everything else.'

'It can be, sir.'

'Well, I can see asking you to eat in the Great Hall with the other students would be unfair. I think the best thing to do is give you access to the kitchens so you can eat your food away from the crowds.'

Remus looked up in surprise.

'That would be wonderful, sir. But you've already given me so much special treatment; it doesn't seem fair.'

'Nonsense, Hogwarts prides itself on accommodating all our students' special needs.'

Dumbledore's smile was reassuring and Remus' guilt faded. This would make life so much easier.

'Thank you, sir. It's very kind of you.'

'You're most welcome, Mister Lupin. Now, moving on to less pleasant topics. The school has procured a small house for you to transform in. It's located on the outskirts of Hogsmeade, and our groundskeeper has dug a tunnel to the house from within the grounds. I believe he had help from his dog. We would like you to report to the hospital wing a full hour before moonrise, so Madam Pomfrey can escort you to the house. I assume you're proficient at calculating the times of the moon?'

'Yes, sir.'

'Good. The tunnel is the only way in or out, and it's guarded by the newly planted Whomping Willow—that was our Herbology professor's contribution—so no one will accidentally find you. Madam Pomfrey will show you around on Sunday.'

They were giving him a house. An entire house. All for him. He didn't know what to say.

'Thank you, sir.'

Dumbledore smiled again.

'Right, it's almost time for lessons to start. Let's check your timetable.'

Dumbledore stood and walked over to his desk, and Remus followed him. The headmaster picked up a book and touched his wand to it. The book opened, the pages flicking through to somewhere near the middle.

'Ah, here we are. Wonderful. You have a free period first, followed by Transfiguration. That means we can go to the hospital wing now. Poppy will be pleased. She's quite eager to meet you. But I'll take you to the kitchens first and introduce you to the house-elves.'

Dumbledore opened a drawer in his desk, pulled out a blank sheet of parchment and placed it on the desk next to the book. He tapped each item with his wand, and a replica of Remus' timetable appeared on the parchment. Dumbledore handed it to him, and Remus looked it over, noting he had double Potions after lunch and would need to retrieve his kit and cauldron from the dorm.

'Now, I believe it would be wise to conceal you while we travel through the school. It wouldn't do to start tongues wagging by having you seen with the headmaster on your first day. This won't hurt at all, but it will feel strange. Hold still.'

Dumbledore tapped him on the head with his wand, and Remus experienced the uncomfortable sensation of an egg being cracked on his head and dribbling down his back. He looked down at himself and found his body no longer looked like his body. It had taken on the exact colour and texture of his surroundings, essentially rendering him invisible.

Remus gasped. 'Brilliant!'

'Yes, it is rather,' Dumbledore said, with a twinkle in his eye. 'Right, follow me.'

Dumbledore led the way out of the office and down the corridor, heading back in the direction Remus had run earlier that morning. When they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, Dumbledore glanced around and, seeing no one, he spoke to Remus.

'I thought it best to lead you from a familiar location. So, from here, it's straight down the stairs.'

They travelled the rest of the way in silence. When they reached the ground floor, they continued to descend another flight to the subterranean levels. Remus took careful note of which turns they took as they moved through the corridors, looking for notable objects to serve as landmarks so he would remember the way. After several minutes, they stopped in front of a still life painting of a bowl of fruit.

'This is the entrance to the kitchen, to open it just tickle the pear.'

Remus reached out with his strange, camouflaged hand and did as instructed. The pear squirmed and giggled, and the painting swung open.

A blast of humid air hit Remus in the face, and the noise of a hundred house-elves, all talking at once, assaulted his ears. He stepped through the door, and Dumbledore followed. After it closed behind them, the headmaster lifted the charm from Remus. One elf separated itself from the rest and approached them, bowing low to Dumbledore.

'Master Dumbledores, sir. How cans Teely be of assistance?'

'Hello, Teely. How is everything in the kitchens?'

'Everythings is very goods, Master Dumbledores, sir. We are finishing cleaning up breakfast and beginning preparings the snacks for hungry students'.'

'That's good to hear Teely. I knew it was the right decision to make you kitchen manager. You're doing an excellent job.'

The house-elf grinned at Dumbledore's praise.

'Now. This is Mister Remus Lupin. He has a problem that makes it difficult for him to eat in the hall with everyone else, so he will be coming to eat in the kitchen every day. Please look after him for me.'

'Oh, yes, sir! Teely will takes very good care of Master Lupin.'

'Thank you, Teely. Mr Lupin is afraid of being touched, so try not to crowd him, okay?'

'Yes, sir! We wills be very careful, very careful indeeds.'

'Very good, you may continue with your work now. Have a good day.'

'I will, sir! And yous has a good day too, sir.'

Teely turned on her heel and scuttled back into the depths of the kitchen, melting into the scenery so fast that Remus soon could not distinguish her from the rest of the elves.

Dumbledore reapplied the disillusionment charm before leading him back into the maze of corridors and up to the first floor where the hospital wing was located. They entered through the double doors and, seeing there were no patients, Dumbledore lifted the charm again.

A young woman in red robes and a white apron bustled out of a door at the back of the room. Her dark brown hair was secured in a bun and covered with a white cap.

'Good morning, Headmaster. And hello, you must be Remus. It's good to finally meet you.'

'Hello,' Remus said, suddenly feeling shy.

The medi-witch was young and pretty. That would make the full moons embarrassing.

'Good morning, Poppy. Yes, this is Remus, I've learnt this morning that he does not like to be touched. I hope that won't make things difficult for you?'

'Of course not. We can work around that, can't we, Remus? No problem at all.'

The way the medi-witch said, "of course not," sounded to Remus as if she, at least, was aware of the risk of infection. He breathed out a relieved sigh. He wouldn't need to worry about her touching him while he was unconscious.

'Wonderful. I'll leave Remus in your capable hands then. He has Transfiguration in half an hour. I hope that will be long enough for you to complete your tests?'

'That's plenty. This won't take long at all.'

'Very good. Goodbye, Mister Lupin. I hope you have a pleasant first day.'

'Goodbye, sir. And thank you again. For everything.'

Remus hoped Dumbledore understood he meant allowing him to come to school at all, as well as everything he had done that morning.

'Right, young man. Let me show you the room we've set up for you. It's through my office to keep out anyone trying to snoop.'

Madam Pomfrey led him through her office and into a room hidden behind a bookcase. The walls, floor and ceiling of the private space were all a pale blue, and the room contained nothing but a hospital bed with a table next to it. There was a small window in one wall which overlooked the Great Lake. It was a beautiful and tranquil view, and Remus anticipated it would be soothing to recuperate here.

'Now, I assume the Headmaster told you I want to give you a full check-up?'

Remus nodded.

'It's nothing to worry about. It's just so I have a record to compare with on Monday morning. Okay, first things first. I want to measure your height and weight.'

She conjured a set of scales in the corner and motioned for Remus to step on to them. He did so, and she tutted at the result. She checked his height with a spell and told him to take a seat on the bed.

'Remus, you're very underweight for your height. And quite short for your age. I have to ask, are you getting enough to eat at home?' she said, gazing at him with an expression of concern.

'Oh, yes. I get plenty to eat. I just find it hard to eat the day of the moon, and after, my throat is too sore to swallow for a couple of days.'

'That makes sense, and transforming probably uses a lot of energy too. You were bitten when you were four?'

Remus nodded.

'Just before my fifth birthday.'

'So, the effects have built up over time,' she said, looking pained. 'Well, I'm sure we can remedy this. I'll have a look into possible solutions. For now, let's finish the check-up.'

She waved her wand in a complicated motion, and a stream of parchment erupted from the end. She looked it over, frowning and raising her eyebrows in turn as she read. When she reached the end, she turned to Remus.

'Considering how long you've been a werewolf, you're in surprisingly good health. Undernourished, but otherwise fine.'

'That's good,' Remus said, unsure how else to respond to such a statement.

'It is.'

She stared at him for a moment before sitting down next to him on the bed.

Has the Headmaster told you about the plans for the full moons?' she asked.

'Yes, I'm to come here an hour before moonrise, and you'll take me to the house in Hogsmeade.'

'That's right. We've done our best to make it comfortable for you.'

She checked the time on her wrist and startled.

'You need to get to Transfiguration.'

She hurried him out of the room and to the main doors.

'Go down the main staircase to the ground floor. When you reach the entrance hall, take the corridor to your right. It's right at the end. Have a lovely day, Remus.'

She waved him off and disappeared back into the hospital wing.

Remus followed her directions, and they led him straight to the Transfiguration classroom. The rest of the class were already inside, and Professor McGonagall was just standing up to address the class. Remus entered the classroom and glanced around for an empty seat. Spotting a desk with no occupants, he scuttled over to it and sat down, pulling quill and parchment from his bag as he did so. McGonagall watched him find his seat but made no comment about his tardiness. Remus figured she already knew where he had been.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius sat at the back of the Transfiguration classroom staring at the door, waiting for Remus to arrive. He hadn't seen the boy since he darted out of the common room first thing that morning. There had been no sign of him at breakfast, and Sirius was concerned that he had scared Remus out of eating. He had looked for him during their free period for about fifteen minutes before James had dragged him off to explore the castle. They had found nothing interesting during the random search, but James was adamant they would if they just kept at it.

Professor McGonagall standing up drew Sirius' attention to the front of the room, but just as she did so, the classroom door opened, and Remus walked in. Sirius was relieved to see he was okay but surprised when McGonagall didn't comment on his lateness. Acting as though the interruption had never happened, she began her lecture.

'Welcome, first-years, to your first Transfiguration lesson. I'm sure it will disappoint most of you to learn that, for the time being, this class will consist only of theory,' she said.

The class groaned as one.

'I know, you all want to start waving your wands around and making things change, but you will have no success with Transfiguration until you understand the theory. This is because, unlike Charms, Tansfiguration relies on more than just words and wand movements. There are several variables involved, and they must all work in balance or you will fail. Now, who can tell me what one of those variables is?'

Several people raised their hands. Sirius glanced over and saw Remus was one of them.

'Yes, Mister Lupin?'

'The size of the target object, Professor?'

'Correct, Mister Lupin. Five points to Gryffindor.'

She waved her wand, and his answer appeared on the board with an S next to it in brackets.

'The size of the target matters a great deal. Anyone else?'

Sirius saw that Remus had, again, raised his hand, but the teacher called on someone else this time.

'Yes, Miss Evans?'

'Um, I don't quite know how to put this; the thing you want to change it into?'

'Very good, Miss Evans. Five points to Gryffindor.'

Miss Evans was the red-haired girl they'd argued with on the train, and she sat next to the same greasy kid as before. Except now, she was wearing Gryffindor colours, and he was wearing Slytherin's. How could either of them bear it? She beamed at the boy, and he smiled back at her. It was weird.

'We call that variable, intent. Your intention is also a very important factor.'

She waved her wand, and the word 'intent' appeared on the board with a letter 'I', in brackets, beside it.

'Anyone else? Yes, Mister Snape?'

'Wand power, Professor.'

'Correct, Mister Snape. Five points to Slytherin. Although it's not so much the power of your wand that is important, but rather the innate power within yourself, which you channel through your wand.'

She wrote 'power' on the board and a 'P' next to it in brackets with a wave of her wand.

'We will come back to power in a moment, but first, does anyone know the final two variables?'

Remus was the only one to raise his hand. Sirius wondered how he knew the answer when no one else did.

'Yes, Mister Lupin again?' McGonagall said, smiling at Remus.

'Focus and variety, Professor,' he said.

'Exactly right, Mister Lupin. 10 points to Gryffindor.'

She turned to the board and waved her wand, writing 'focus (F)' and 'variety (V)', and Remus grinned.

'Some people change this variable to viciousness to be amusing, but "variety" is the correct term. We will go over each of these during today's lesson, but we will begin with power because it's important that you all understand your limitations and the consequences of moving beyond them.'

She leant back against her desk and clasped her hands in front of her.

'As you grow and develop, your magical cores will grow along with your body, and they will also grow with gentle exercise, like a muscle. By using your magic, you will exercise your core. However, if you over-do it, you will deplete your core, and that is very dangerous.'

She paused and scanned the classroom as if checking to make sure everyone was paying attention.

'Mister Potter, can you tell me why it's dangerous?'

James jumped in his seat next to Sirius, shoving a piece of parchment into his pocket.

'Um, because it might explode, Professor?'

Everyone in the classroom laughed when Professor McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose and said, 'No, Mister Potter, your magical core will not explode if you deplete it. Five points from Gryffindor for not paying attention.'

James blushed but sat up straighter in his chair as if to say he didn't care that everyone was laughing at him.

'It is dangerous to deplete your magical core because, unlike a muggle, a witch or wizard depends on their magic to live. You may be lucky and only find yourselves in a coma until the next full moon, or you may die.'

At the sounds of the gasps from around the classroom, she nodded.

'Yes. It is that serious. Now, can anyone tell me why the coma would end after the full moon?'

No one raised their hands, not even Remus. Sirius knew because he was watching him.

'Nobody? Very well. It is because our magical cores are linked to the cycle of the moon. When the moon is full, our cores enter a state of dormancy, effectively shutting down for a few hours, and cleanse themselves. If depleted, they will also draw power from the world to replenish. We can still do magic during this period, but its power is lessened and our immunity to disease is also lower. The full moon is not a good time to do anything dangerous. In fact, most people choose to just stay at home when the moon is full.'

Sirius was still watching Remus and saw him frown. He seemed to be deep in thought about something. He wished he could read the other boy's mind to find out what he found so interesting.

James elbowed him in the side. Sirius jerked and turned to glare at him.

'Stop staring. People will think you fancy him,' James said.

Sirius flushed and turned his attention back to McGonagall.

'We have designed the Hogwarts curriculum to exercise your cores without over-exerting them. As long as they are not completely depleted, they will replenish themselves almost instantaneously. It is extremely important that you do not attempt magic beyond the level at which you are being taught in class. If you wish to try a spell, and you are unsure whether it's within your current ability, I implore you to first. Check. With. A. Teacher.'

She glared at the class for a moment before continuing.

'For most of you, the curriculum should be well within your abilities. We have created it with the smallest magical cores in mind. However, that does not mean you should just start casting spells taught in seventh year. Do you all understand?'

'Yes, Professor,' the class chorused.

Professor McGonagall nodded, satisfied.

'Good. Moving on. The success of your transfiguration will depend on the power available to you in your magical core, and whether this exceeds the total value of the spell you are attempting to cast. It is possible to lower the power needed to cast by honing your focus, but few bother to do so.'

She wrote an equation on the board: (V x S) + (I x S) / F = total - P = T.

'The value of T must be zero or below for the transfiguration to succeed.'

Sirius glanced around the room. Most of the class appeared as baffled as he felt. Remus, though, was chuckling.

Sirius leant closer to James and whispered, 'Do you have any idea what she's talking about?'

'Not a clue, mate. I reckon she might be insane,' James whispered back.

'Let's take variety first. Who knows what they are?' Professor McGonagall asked, continuing her lesson.

Sirius thought he might know the answer to this one, and he wanted to impress Remus, so he raised his hand.

'Yes, Mister Black?'

'Well, there are four different types of things: objects, plants, animals and people. Is that what you mean?'

'That is correct, well done. Ten points to Gryffindor.'

Sirius looked over at Remus to see if he was impressed, but the other boy was looking at the teacher, oblivious to Sirius' gaze.

'When transfiguring a simple object, the variety value is one. Simple plants begin at four. Small mammals are a nine, and a human is an eleven. The same is true for the intent value. If you are turning your target into a simple object, the intent value is one and so on.'

She waved her wand, and the information appeared on the board for them to copy down.

'You will be learning object-to-object transfiguration this year, so both your variety and intent values will be a one to begin with. By the end of the year, you should be working on objects of level three. Now, size is obvious. The smaller your target object, the easier it will be to transfigure. Size values range from a one to a six. But who can tell me what is meant by focus?'

Remus was the only student to raise his hand.

'Yes, Mister Lupin,' Professor McGonagall said, giving him a wide smile.

'To transfigure something, the witch or wizard must visualise what they want to turn it into in its entirety. Focus is the representative value of how proficient you are at visualising,' he said, sounding like he was quoting from the textbook.

'That is correct again, Mister Lupin. 5 points to Gryffindor. Visualisation is the most important aspect of transfiguration. If you forget a single part, then you will fail. That is why human transfiguration is far more difficult than object transfiguration. The human body is just more complex. The minimum focus level is a two, and most of you will never exceed this level. To do so requires training and dedication, but it's possible to get this value up as high as ten. With a higher focus level, it requires less power to make the equation equal less than zero. That is why there are cases of witches or wizards being better at transfiguration than their more powerful peers. They have superior focus. With all that in mind, who can tell me what values you will need for power and focus to turn a matchstick into a needle? You have five minutes to think about it, and you may discuss with your neighbours,' Professor McGonagall said, before taking a seat at her desk and looking through paperwork.

Sirius looked at James, but James just shrugged. Peter turned around in his seat, looking confused. None of them had any idea how to work out the answer to the question, so James pulled a piece of parchment out of his pocket, and they all played hangman instead.

Five minutes later, Professor McGonagall stood from her seat.

'Does anyone have the answer?'

Remus raised his hand, and so did a few other people in the room.

'Yes, Mister Snape?' she said.

He was the only Slytherin to have volunteered. Sirius guessed she wanted to give them another chance at earning points.

'If focus is two, then you would need a power level of one to succeed,' Snape said.

'Correct. Well done, Mister Snape. Five points to Slytherin.'

Sirius had no idea how he had worked that out. Probably cheated.

'Of course, that value is the bare minimum, and casting the spell with a power level of one would deplete the caster's magical core and cause a coma or death. You all will currently have a power level of three, at the very least, and by the end of the year, you will be at a minimum of five. Those are minimum values, however, and most of you will already be at a five now and will be as high as nine by the end of the year.'

She smiled at the class and continued, 'That concludes our lesson for today. For homework, I would like you to pick two objects: a target and an intent. Work out your objects' values, and complete the equation for them. Then write a paragraph explaining how much power would be required to perform the transfiguration and why. To be handed in on Monday. You may go.'

The classroom erupted in a cacophony of chair scraping, parchment rustling and chatter as the students prepared to leave. James grabbed Sirius' arm to get his attention.

'Let's use the next free period to plan some mischief!'

A slow smile spread across Sirius' face.

'I'm in.'


	7. Chapter 6

Thursday, 2nd September 1971, 11:42 am

'Self-inflating, unpoppable, animal balloons,' James said, producing a fluorescent orange box from his trunk and waving it in the air like a Quidditch seeker who'd just caught the snitch. 'We're going to fill the Great Hall with them tonight!'

'The whole room?' Peter asked. 'We'll need a lot of balloons.'

'Not as many as you might think, my good man.' James slapped his hand down on Peter's shoulder, making him wince. 'These balloons blow up to ten times life-size and I have 5000. That should be plenty.'

Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. When he got up to mischief at home, he didn't plan it. His antics were spur-of-the-moment; potential consequences never entered his mind until after. But this was different. This allowed him the time to think, and he was thinking about what would happen if someone caught them.

It was making him a little nauseous.

His mother was a powerful witch, and her punishments could be brutal, but she may as well have been a first-year next to the teachers of Hogwarts. There was no telling what they might do. He knew they gave "detentions," but he didn't know what that would entail. James and Peter didn't seem concerned though, and he didn't want them to think him a coward.

'There'll be riots if people can't reach the food,' Sirius said.

That was good. It was neither for nor against the plan. Merely an observation. It could be taken either way.

'But if we do it tonight, we'll be knackered for Defence tomorrow.'

A reasonable objection, he thought.

'Excellent point,' James said, pointing at him. 'I'm looking forward to Defence, don't want to be too tired to enjoy it. Operation inflatable breakfast is hereby postponed until tomorrow night.' He jumped on the bed next to Sirius. 'But we should still do something now, too. Any ideas?'

Sirius' heart sank. There was no putting him off. He would have to go through with the mischief or risk losing his friendship. There was only one choice, really. The alternative was unthinkable. But, if they did something mild and got caught, at least he would have some idea of what to expect from the school punishments.

'What else do you have?' Sirius asked.

James leapt off the bed and dashed back over to his trunk.

'A few firecrackers, five dungbombs and some nose-biting teacups.'

James pulled each item out as he spoke, placing them on his bed, and Sirius ambled over to examine them.

'Not much to work with.'

Sirius poked at the dungbombs.

'Suppose we could set these off right outside the Slytherin common room.'

'Do you know where the entrance is?' Peter asked, joining the others in staring at the items laid out on James' bed.

'No, but we can find out if we follow some Slytherins.'

James started digging around in his trunk again.

'They'll see us and won't go in,' Sirius said.

'I have something that will help, but you need to swear to keep it secret first.'

James stared at them with an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face. He glanced back and forth between Peter and Sirius. They both promised, and James pulled out a cloak made from a fluid-like, silvery material.

'What is it?' Peter asked, stretching out a hand to touch the shimmering fabric.

'Watch,' James said.

He swung the cloak around his shoulders, and his body vanished, leaving his head floating around in mid-air, plastered with a ridiculous grin.

Sirius gasped, 'No way!' at the same time as he heard a squeak from Peter standing behind him.

James' grin widened, putting his face in grave danger of breaking in half.

'It's been in my family for generations. Dad gave it to me for my last birthday.'

'Sneaking around will be a breeze with that,' Sirius said in a tone laced with awe.

'I know! Pete, grab the dungbombs. We should all be able to fit under here. Bring the firecrackers too. We can use them to set off the dungbombs.'

The boys crowded together under the cloak to test it and found they could all fit if they crammed together, but the confines of the cloak made walking difficult. After ten minutes of practise, they found a workable rhythm, and they stuffed the cloak in James' bag before racing down to the dungeons.

-o-o-o-o-

They lurked in the dungeons under the cloak for forty-five minutes before seeing a group of giggling Slytherin girls heading away from the Great Hall. Sirius, being the tallest of the three, was in the middle, and he was getting rather sweaty from being surrounded by the body heat of his friends.

They followed the girls at a distance until they paused in front of a blank stretch of wall, before disappearing through it.

'That must be it,' James said, before throwing the cloak off and running over. 'Hand me a dung bomb and a firecracker, Pete.'

Sirius stuffed the invisibility cloak into his bag, and Peter handed both James and Sirius a dungbomb and a firecracker. James showed them how to combine the items and set the firecrackers for delayed detonation. They worked fast, setting up the five dungbombs in concealed locations around the entrance to explode ten minutes later. They planned to be well away by then.

Finished, they turned and broke into a run towards the Great Hall; they were almost there when they turned a corner and ran straight into Mr Filch, the school caretaker.

'Well, well, well. What do we have here?'

Sirius' stomach dropped into his shoes.

'Three trouble-makers up to mischief, no doubt. Running from the scene of the crime, are we?'

'No, sir. We're, um, we're just, um, going to lunch!' Peter stammered.

James was offering his most innocent expression, wide-eyed with a grin the size of a Quidditch pitch and nodding along with Peter's stilted explanation for their hurry.

'A likely story. You three will come with me. I'll have you strung up by your ankles. That'll teach you to muck up my school with your filth.'

The word "filth" sent chills through Sirius' body. His mother used the term so often in her rants that his mind associated it with pain and fear. He went into a panic. The room was spinning around him, his heart was pounding and he couldn't breathe.

'Sirius, are you okay?' James said, moving in front of him and grabbing his arms.

Sirius focused on his friend's face and tried to calm down. He stared into his eyes, deep pools of swirling brown with specks of green. As he watched, the colours solidified and came into focus. His breathing evened out, and he was able to speak.

'Yeah. I think so. But what's he going to do to us?' Sirius breathed.

James let go of his arms.

'Nothing. We'll get detention if he can prove we did something, but he's not allowed to hurt us.'

James studied him for a moment, his eyes darting back and forth, searching for something. Sirius wasn't sure what.

'We'll talk about this later, okay?'

Sirius nodded and the three boys followed Filch down the corridors to his office.

Inside the spacious room, there was a desk with four chairs lined up in front of it and one much larger and more comfortable chair behind it. Along the walls were filing cabinets, several rows of them, stacked up to the ceiling. Someone had labelled them all, though Sirius couldn't make out the words. The room was lit by a single oil lamp hanging from the ceiling, which cast eerie shadows in the corners. Sirius shivered. A deep sense of unease filled him when he spotted the chains and manacles hanging from the wall behind the desk. He rubbed his wrists, recalling the soreness such things caused after spending three days chained up in the dungeon at home.

Filch told them to sit down and moved behind the desk, pulling out parchment from the desk drawer before seating himself. He muttered under his breath as he filled out three forms, recording their crimes. He was just finishing up the third when the sound of a distant explosion, followed by screams, reached their ears. The boys all glanced at each other.

'What did you do?' Filch asked, sneering. 'Stay here until I get back.'

The moment the caretaker left the room, James was on his feet and scanning the filing cabinets.

'Quickly, men! We only have a few minutes. See what you can find,' he said.

Sirius leapt from his seat. This was more like it, the type of spur-of-the-moment mischief he was used to. He ran his hand over the fronts of the cabinets as he read the labels. Most were labelled with letters of the alphabet. Records organised by surname, Sirius assumed. One drawer was labelled "The Prewetts." Sirius pulled it open and found stacks of detention slips for the same two boys. They ranged from September 1965 to the most recent, which were dated that morning. Filch had apparently caught the two trouble-makers charming the suits of armour in the dungeons to attack Slytherins. Sirius grinned. They sounded like his kind of people.

'Guys! Over here. Look!' James said.

Sirius hurried over to where James was pointing at a filing cabinet on the back wall. Squinting at the label in the dismal light, he read "Confiscated and Highly Dangerous."

'Nice one. Let's grab something quick. He'll be back soon.' Sirius said.

Peter walked over to the door and cracked it open to peek out while James pulled the drawer open and rooted through it.

'He's coming!' Peter hissed, closing the door and rushing back to his seat.

James snatched something small from the drawer, shoved it in his pocket and grabbed Sirius' arm, dragging him back to his seat.

The boys sat down with seconds to spare. Filch stormed into the office looking murderous and slammed the door closed behind him.

'Dungbombs in the corridor, stinking up the entire castle. You'll pay for this. Yes, you will. You just wait until Professor McGonagall hears about it.'

He continued muttering as he filled out a second set of detention slips with their details and sent them on their way. Sirius still felt a fluttery feeling in his stomach when he thought about what the detentions might involve, despite James' reassurance that it wouldn't be painful. He pushed the worry to the back of his mind. He would face it when it happened.

-o-o-o-o-

Remus was sitting in the shade of an ancient oak tree, his back against the trunk and his knees bent. His Defence textbook rested on his thighs, creating a hard surface on which to write. In his hand, he held a quill, and an inkpot rested in a convenient recess in the ground beside him. He had been staring at the blank parchment for several minutes, trying to decide how much of his Hogwarts experience to include in the letter to his mum.

Coming to a decision, he dipped his quill in the ink and began his letter. He wrote steadily for a few minutes, then read it through, scratched out a sentence here and a word there, added another paragraph, then removed it again. When he was satisfied with his account of events, he pulled out a fresh piece of parchment and copied the revised letter out neatly.

Mum,

I'm having a wonderful time here at Hogwarts. It's everything I always imagined it would be. When we arrived, the first years were taken to the castle by boat across a giant lake. The castle looked so beautiful in the starlight. We were sorted into our houses by a talking hat. Seriously, I'm not kidding. The hat has the ability to see into, and speak into, the mind of the person wearing it. It knew my secret but promised not to tell, and it said I was brave. It placed me in Gryffindor house, which I told you would be the best house for me to be in, I don't know if you remember?

I'm in a dormitory with three other boys. It's a good-size room though, lots of space, so it's easy to avoid bumping into each other. The bathroom has four shower cubicles, so there's plenty of privacy. You know I was worried about people seeing my scars. I had a meeting with Professor Dumbledore this morning; he told me the arrangements for Sunday, and it all sounds very well thought out and safe. I'll tell you more after, though. Professor Dumbledore has also given me access to the kitchens, so I don't have to eat in the Great Hall. Wasn't that kind of him?

My first lesson this morning was Transfiguration. It was a basic theory lesson, and I didn't learn much that I didn't already know. But Professor McGonagall said something interesting when she was warning us of the dangers of attempting magic above our ability. She said that our magical cores act as an immune system, and they have to shut down once a month to cleanse themselves. Apparently, this happens during the full moon. I thought you might find that as interesting as I did.

I have had no other lessons yet, and I was surprised at first by how many free periods are scheduled into the timetable, but when I thought about it, I realised it was necessary. Six hours of continuous magic casting would be exhausting, I expect our timetables will be fuller in later years when we're stronger. I have double Potions this afternoon. I'm not really looking forward to Potions. I hope the ingredients don't smell too bad; you know how sensitive my nose is.

It's lunchtime now, so I'm off to visit the kitchen for some food. I'll write to you again soon.

Love you lots,

Remus

Remus read the letter through again and was satisfied that his meaning was clear enough for his mum to understand, while still being subtle enough that if anyone else read it, they wouldn't be able to guess he was a werewolf. There was also just enough negativity in the letter that it wouldn't seem like he was pretending to be happy. He rolled the parchment into a scroll and sealed it before putting his things away and climbing to his feet, tucking the letter into his pocket as he did.

As Remus climbed the stairs to the Owlery, he found himself wishing that he knew how to fly. He was fairly certain he'd climbed more stairs since arriving at Hogwarts the day before than he had in the entire rest of his life combined. When he reached the summit, he collapsed to the floor and stayed there for several minutes, reminding his lungs how to breathe.

Once the feeling had returned to his legs and he was no longer gasping, he entered the circular room and searched the rafters for Rieka. She spotted him first though, and flew down to land on his shoulder, nuzzling her head into the crook of his neck and greeting him with a low whistle.

'Hey, Rieka, how do you like the owlery?'

She hooted softly and nuzzled him again.

'Good, I'm glad you're happy here.' He pulled the letter from his pocket. 'I need you to take this to Mum, okay?'

Rieka hooted again and flew over to the perch in the centre of the room so Remus could tie the letter to her leg.

'Well, look at what we have here. A little baby Gryffindor. All alone,' a voice drawled from the entrance.

Remus whipped around. It was another first-year - greasy-hair, hooked nose - his name sounded like snake. What was it? Remus wracked his brains but couldn't remember.

'What do you want?' he asked.

The boy's tone had been aggressive, and it unnerved him. His heart raced in his chest, and his palms felt sweaty.

'Oh, nothing difficult, I assure you. I wouldn't want to tax your tiny Gryffindor mind. Just a little lesson in where you belong. Depulso!'

A blinding white light shot from the end of the boy's wand and hit Remus square in the chest, causing him to fly back into a heap of owl pellets, feathers and animal carcasses, piled up at the edge of the room.

'And don't you forget it.'

The boy turned, no doubt intending to sweep dramatically from the room in a flurry of robes, but Rieka had other ideas. She flew from the perch and out of a window, wheeled around and dived at the boy, claws outstretched to attack. He lifted his arms in defence of his face and stumbled back, away from the angry bird. Rieka's talons tore shreds in his arms, and the boy screamed in pain, stumbling further until he too landed in the pile of owl detritus.

'Get the hell away from me, you crazy bird!' the boy shouted, pulling himself to his feet and rushing out of the door.

Rieka hopped over to Remus and hooted.

'I'm okay. Thanks for sticking up for me, girl.'

Remus stroked her head before dragging himself to his feet and inspecting his robes. They were filthy, covered in feathers and slime from the rotting carcasses, Remus gagged at the stench.

'I better get cleaned up before potions.' He turned to Rieka. 'I'll see you when you get back.'

Rieka hooted again and flew out the door, and Remus followed.

-o-o-o-o-

'I think we should allow three hours to blow up the balloons. We probably won't need that long, but better to have too much time than not enough,' James said, pacing back and forth in front of Sirius' bed like an Auror captain planning a raid.

Sirius was sitting on the bed next to Peter, listening to James run through his plan for the following night's entertainment.

'So, leave the dorm around one in the morning then.' Sirius said. 'The prefects will be finished with their patrols by then, and we'll be back in the dorm well before any teachers should be getting up.'

'Yes. I'll set my alarm and wake you up.' James pointed at Sirius. 'You'll be with me. We'll open the balloons and let them loose in the hall. Pete will stay by the door under the cloak and keep a lookout.'

The door to the dorm opened, interrupting their planning session, and Remus walked in covered in feathers and something slimy that smelled like death. All three boys stared at him.

'What the hell happened to you?' Sirius asked.

Remus glanced at him.

'I don't want to talk about it,' he muttered before grabbing a clean set of robes from his trunk and hurrying into the bathroom.

Sirius stared at the closed door for a moment. Should he go talk to him or leave him alone? Remus had no positive feelings towards him and probably wouldn't want to open up to a person he disliked. But this might be the opportunity he was waiting for to show Remus he wasn't a complete asshole. Sirius was vaguely aware of James continuing his instructions for the joke but was too focused on Remus to listen. Why was he covered in feathers? Had he fallen over in the owlery or had someone attacked him? He was on the verge of getting up to try his luck when Remus exited the bathroom.

'Mate, tell us what happened?' Sirius said.

'I'm not your mate, Black. You made it clear what you thought of me yesterday by the lake.'

Remus stepped over to his trunk and retrieved his cauldron and potion's kit from inside.

'If you don't bother me, I won't bother you,' he said, his voice calm, before strolling out of the dorm and closing the door behind him. Not even bothering to slam it.

He wasn't angry, Remus just hated him. Fuck.

'Well, that went well,' James said.

Sirius threw his pillow at him, scoring a direct hit in the face.

'Shut up,' he said. 'How am I supposed to fix this when he won't even speak to me?'

'I don't understand why you're bothering at all, mate. He seems a bit stuck up to me.'

'The problem isn't that he's stuck up, it's that he thinks I'm stuck up.'

'So, show him you're not.'

Right, Sirius thought, but how?

-o-o-o-o-

After visiting the kitchens and grabbing a bite to eat, Remus had half an hour left of his lunch break and decided to spend it in the library, getting his Transfiguration homework done before the moon. It was due Monday morning, and he wouldn't be out of the hospital wing until lunchtime at the earliest, so he wanted to hand it in on Friday. Especially since it wouldn't take him long to complete.

His first sight of the library took his breath away. So many books; he was in heaven. The collection took up almost the entire fourth floor of the main building and was spread throughout one vast, irregularly shaped room with several smaller rooms leading off it. He wandered around for a few minutes, reading the signs above the shelves, before settling at a table with a red-headed Gryffindor and pulling out his homework.

'Oh, hi. I recognise you from class this morning. You're the one who knew all the answers.'

Remus' face warmed.

'You got one right too,' he said.

'Not as many as you though. I'm Lily. It's nice to meet you.'

Lily held out her hand for him to shake. Remus almost panicked, but he had prepared for that possibility.

'I'm Remus, but I have a phobia of touching people,' he said, nodding towards her outstretched hand. 'I'm sorry.'

Lily pulled her hand back.

'Oh, no. Don't apologise. You can't help what you're afraid of. I'm terrified of spiders, so I get it.'

'Thanks,' Remus said, giving her a smile before dipping his quill into his inkpot to begin the Transfiguration work.

They worked in companionable silence for fifteen minutes, and Remus was almost finished when he heard Lily greet someone.

'Oh. Hey, Sev.'

'Hello, Lily. I came to show you the way to Potions. I didn't want you to get lost.'

Remus looked up at the voice that had sneered at him so cruelly in the owlery and caught the eye of the greasy-haired boy - Snape. That was his name. He raised an eyebrow at Remus.

'Something I can do for you?'

'No.' He gathered up his things and turned to Lily. 'I'm finished here, I'll see you later.'

Remus hurried away from the table. He had been hoping that he and Lily could be friends, but she was already friends with the boy who had attacked him for no reason, so maybe she wasn't as nice as he thought.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius, James and Peter were some of the first to arrive at the Potions classroom after lunch and were lucky enough to nab themselves seats at the back of the room. Sirius and James sat together, and Peter sat alone at the desk in front of them.

When the last few stragglers had slipped into their seats, the teacher stood up and waved his wand at the blackboard.

"The basics of potion-making" appeared on the board in excessively curly handwriting. Sirius groaned. Another tedious bloody lesson.

'Good afternoon, class. My name is Professor Slughorn. I hope you have all had yourselves a superb meal because this class will be fairly physical. Today, you'll be learning all the basics involved with potion-making. Who can tell me what those might be?'

Sirius took a peek at Remus on the other side of the room and was surprised to see he didn't have his hand in the air. Instead, he was holding his head in his hands with his elbows on the desk. He nudged James.

'Hey, what do you think is wrong with Remus? He looks ill.'

After glancing over, James shrugged.'Dunno, mate. Maybe he's sick.'

While they were talking, a Slytherin student had answered Slughorn's question - stirring, chopping and stuff, nothing important, - and earned herself five points. Remus was now taking notes while covering his nose with his sleeve. Sirius turned back to listen to the teacher.

'First, you'll be learning how to time the heating of your cauldrons, so please place your cauldrons on the fire pits in the centre of your desks and fetch some water to fill them.'

'You set the cauldrons up, mate. I'll go get the water,' Sirius said.

Sirius wandered over to the closest sink and joined the back of the short queue, finding himself behind Snape. He eyed the boy's greasy hair with distaste but kept his thoughts to himself, not wanting to start anything in the classroom. That resolve changed, though, when Snape reached the front of the line and rolled his sleeves up to keep them dry while he filled a jug for his cauldron. His pale white arms were marred by long vivid-red scratches. The marks were unmistakable. His mother's bastard of a bird had attacked Sirius often enough for him to recognise owl talon marks when he saw them. The injuries were severe and Sirius could only think of one reason Snape wouldn't have gone to the hospital wing for treatment. Because he had been doing something wrong when it happened. Sirius had been accused of many things in his brief life, but being slow wasn't one of them. It took him but a moment to put together the gashes on Snape's arms with the memory of Remus arriving back at the dorm covered in feathers and realise the truth. Snape had attacked his Remus. And that was unacceptable.

He returned to his desk with a full jug of water, seething. After explaining to James and Peter what he had seen and deduced, they all agreed that Snape's behaviour could not go unpunished, bullying would not be tolerated. They finished setting up their cauldrons before concocting a plan.

When everyone was ready, Professor Slughorn started to speak again.

'Now, almost every potion recipe calls for at least one timed period of heating, and it's very important to time it to the second. Even a second or two out, either way, can ruin a potion. Your desks are fitted with a timing charm. If you look, you will see a circle carved into the bottom corners of each desk.'

Slughorn paused to allow everyone to locate their timer. Sirius looked down at his desk and found the circle, and he could see James doing the same on his side of the desk.

'If you tap the circle once with your wand, it will light up to show a clock face. Tap it again while saying the length of time you need to set it for and tap a third time to start the timer. Test it now. Please set your timers for five seconds.'

Sirius took out his wand and tapped the circle. It lit up with white light, showing a clock face with black numbers and three black hands. He tapped again and said, 'Five seconds.' The thinnest and longest of the three hands moved to the one. He tapped a third time, and the hand ticked back to the twelve, one increment at a time, before flashing randomly in a multitude of colours.

'As you can see, the alarm is silent to avoid disturbing other students, so you will need to watch your timer. It is advisable to set your timer in advance so you need only tap it once when you begin heating.'

Professor Slughorn moved to stand behind his demonstration area, which he had already set up with his own cauldron.

'Now onto the actual heating. The fire pits in your desks are fitted with heating and cooling charms because you won't learn the spells for fire until third-year. Once you have learned them, of course, I will expect you to use them in this class. If you look down at your desks again, you will see five symbols carved in front of the fire pit. The first is "extinguish." This, rather obviously, extinguishes any fire in the pit. The second symbol is "low heat."'

He tapped his wand on his own desk, and a small fire sprang up under his cauldron.

'The third is "medium heat."'

He tapped his wand again, and the fire got a little bigger.

'The fourth is "high heat."'

He tapped his wand a third time, and the fire roared higher, licking at the sides of the cauldron with long orange flames.

'And the fifth is "cold-fire."'

He tapped his wand one more time, and the fire shrank and turned ice blue.

'Simply tap your wands on the symbols to activate the fire and tap your wand on the extinguish symbol to put the fire out. Cold-fire should be used for a period of five to ten seconds after each and every time you heat your potion. This will rapidly cool the potion so it does not overheat.'

He tapped his wand on his desk again, and the fire beneath his cauldron went out.

'It is not necessary to be overly precise with the timing of cold-fire, although too long is far preferable to not long enough. Now, I would like you all to practise using the heating charms and timer together until you're confident that you can do it quickly without fumbling.'

Sirius had a lot of fun playing with the heating charms, repeatedly bringing his water to a boil before rapidly cooling it with cold-fire. He eventually decided to practice with the timer and got the hang of it easily, it was simply a matter of moving his wand smoothly between the timer and the fire symbol. He found it was easier if he positioned his wand above the timer and then found the correct fire symbol with his eyes before tapping. James and Peter both seemed to master the skill just as easily. After a few minutes, Peter turned around to talk to Sirius and James.

'These automatic heating charms are cool, right?' James asked. 'I wonder if we can figure out how they did it. We could use them to set off jokes. If we could link a charm to a symbol on the other side of the castle, then we could set it off when we're nowhere near it. No one would ever know it was us.'

'The symbols are runes, I think. But I don't know how you would link it up to a charm,' Sirius said.

Professor Slughorn coughed to get the class's attention.

'We'll be moving on to ingredient preparation next, but please leave your cauldrons where they are as we will be using them again later. Now, take out your potions kits and remove the jar labelled nettle roots.'

The next hour of class dragged as they learned how to correctly slice, chop, grind and shred ingredients. The time to take revenge on Snape arrived at last when Slughorn handed out vials of unfinished swelling solution and asked them to pour it into their cauldrons so they could practise the skill of infusing a potion with pure magic.

Sirius felt a nudge against his thigh under the table and reached his hand to grip the thick tube James was handing him. He grinned at his friend before preparing the firecracker - the last of their supply - and waiting for Slughorn to turn his back. As soon as he did, Sirius launched the explosive through the air, over the heads of other students, and it landed with a splash in Snape's cauldron. He stared at it for a moment, stunned, before it erupted in a series of pops and bangs, splattering the boy with potion. The places where the potion hit immediately swelled, distorting his face and body into grotesque shapes. The red-headed Gryffindor next to him screamed and started trying to wipe it off, which only spread the potion, causing more swelling. Sirius, James and Peter were bent over laughing, Sirius had tears in his eyes.

Snivellus deserved it for hurting his Remus. Maybe he'd think twice next time.


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. 
> 
> I hope you're enjoying my story.
> 
> A couple of trigger warnings for this chapter, mentions of animal abuse and eating disorders. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)

Thursday, 2nd September 1971, 10:44pm

Sirius lay in bed listening to Peter snoring on the other side of the room. The rhythmic rumble was the only sound in the otherwise silent dormitory, but the peace was soon broken by James' voice on the other side of his bed curtains.

'Sirius, are you still awake?'

Sirius sighed, he'd known this was coming. 'Yes,' he whispered.

James pulled back the curtains, climbed onto the bed uninvited, and pulled the covers over himself. Sitting back against the headboard, he looked down at Sirius where he was still lying with his head on the pillow.

'So, what was all that about earlier, with Filch? Why were you so scared?'

Sirius sat up and leant back next to James. Looking down at his hands, he sighed again.

'It was nothing, mate. Don't worry about it.'

James frowned and crossed his arms.

'No, Sirius. I'm not having that. I'm your friend, and friends help each other.' He sighed. 'Look, you don't have to tell me why if you don't want to, but at least tell me what I can do to help.'

Sirius glanced up and searched James' face. His expression was sincere. He was only asking so he could help. There was no sign of an ulterior motive in his eyes. Dare he tell this boy about the thoughts that worried him? That he felt there might be something vile and rotten in his family? Sirius had only known him for a day. Could he trust him? Something deep inside him, some extra sense, screamed that he could and that maybe James could help him.

Sirius averted his eyes before he spoke. The intensity of James' gaze unnerved him.

'What do your parents do if you misbehave?' he asked in a quiet voice.

James hesitated before answering.

'It depends how bad it is. Sometimes they tell me off, you know, explain what I did wrong, why it was wrong and what I should have done differently. They think it will help me "learn", but it's just annoying, really. They never bother to ask why I did it, so their advice doesn't help.'

James shrugged.

'If I do something really bad though, then they might take something away from me for a while. Like when I flew my broom through the house and broke my mum's favourite vase. They took my broom away for a month. Worst month of my life, I didn't do that again. I got them back though, put dungbombs in their bed,' James said with a laugh.

He looked over at Sirius, and his smile disappeared.

'Why? What do yours do?' he whispered.

Sirius hesitated, wondering how much to reveal to his friend. This boy who thought losing a treasured possession for a month was the height of harsh punishment. Who was so unafraid of his parents that he would dare retaliate with dungbombs when they punished him. James would be horrified if he told him the worst of it. Something small then. A single event in the life of Sirius Black, but something that wasn't actually done to him.

'When I was eight,' Sirius said. 'I asked my father for a pet. He thought it was an excellent idea. Thought it would teach me responsibility, so he bought me a dog. I named him Snuffles. He was big and black, and he was my best friend. He followed me everywhere.'

Sirius paused and looked up from his hands. He wanted to see James' face when he told him what happened next. He needed to know if it was as bad as he was beginning to think it was.

'When I was nine, I was rude to my mother. Answered her back when she was listing all the ways I'm a disappointment to the family. She killed him. She cut Snuffles' throat with a severing charm, and he bled to death in front of me.'

Sirius watched as James swallowed. His brown eyes filled with tears, but he didn't break eye-contact.

'Sirius. I am so sorry that she did that to you.'

James reached out and pulled him into a hug. Sirius felt something strange, wrapped up in James' arms. An odd warmth spread through his body, combined with a peculiar, fuzzy tingle.

'It's not right. You know that, don't you, Sirius? What she did. What she does to you.' He squeezed Sirius harder. 'It's not right. But you have me now.'

Sirius' eyes watered when he realised what he was feeling, and the tears spilled down his cheeks and onto James' shoulder. It was understandable that he hadn't recognised it because he had never felt it before.

He felt safe.

-o-o-o-o-

Friday, 3rd September 1971, 8:25am

Remus arrived early to Defence Against the Dark Arts and, choosing a desk at the back of the classroom, he settled into his seat before pulling parchment and a quill from his bag. With everything ready for the lesson, he turned his attention to examining the odd classroom.

The classroom was in the dungeon and had the usual set-up of student desks in rows, facing the professor's desk at the front of the room. In this classroom, though, the teacher had positioned his desk on the left of a raised stage area - rather than in the middle. At the back of the stage, there was a sizable pool edged with white stone. He could see the Black Lake through the window behind the pool. The water's surface was level with the lower edge of the glass. Remus thought there must be an opening in the wall, below the window, which allowed lake water to flood the pool, but why?

The Professor was sitting at his desk doing paperwork, his head bent low over the parchment, and Remus could see a bald spot in the middle of his short, black hair. When Remus had entered the classroom, the professor glanced up from his work long enough for him to notice a lined face and glasses but nothing more. All the teachers knew his secret; it was necessary so they wouldn't make a fuss about his absences and draw attention, but Remus was worried about this one. The Defence teacher would be the most aware of how dangerous he was. He just hoped he wouldn't be too obvious in his dislike of the werewolf in his classroom.

The rest of the class had trickled in while Remus was lost in thought, and when he became aware of the noise and activity around him, he noticed that Sirius and his friends had taken the surrounding desks. Sirius was to his left with James as his partner and Peter was in front of them sitting alone. His eyes met Sirius' and the other boy winked at him before turning back to James. Remus couldn't understand why he seemed so friendly now when he was so awful before. He shrugged, maybe he was misreading the signals. He had no experience with socialising, so it was a distinct possibility.

Remus was startled from his thoughts when the other chair at his desk was pulled out and Lily plonked herself down next to him.

'You don't mind, do you? The girls in my dorm have already partnered up, and I don't know anyone else,' she said, shuffling her chair a little further away from him.

Realising her movements were intended to make him more comfortable, he was flooded with affection for the girl. Perhaps it didn't matter that she was friends with Snape after all.

'No, it's fine. I don't know anyone else either.'

Remus turned his attention back to the front when the professor called the class to attention and introduced himself as Professor Hawthorne.

'I previously worked for the Ministry in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, and that is the topic we will be focusing on this year. You will learn all about the various magical creatures you may encounter in your lives, their distinguishing features, traits, strengths and weaknesses. Most important, you will learn how to avoid encountering them at all and how to defend yourself if you do.'

Remus swallowed hard. His dad had worked for the DRCMC too, before the attack. If Professor Hawthorne held similar views, this would be a difficult class for Remus.

'I have recruited an assistant to help me with these lessons. Quite an unusual assistant. But before I introduce them, I will explain. On my arrival at the castle two weeks ago, it did not surprise me to find out that the Black Lake,' he waved his hand towards the window behind him, 'was home to several species of magical creature, but one in particular did catch my interest. I'm sure you have all heard of the giant squid, but I doubt any of you are aware that she is, in fact, a kelpie.'

Several students around the room gasped, including Remus.

'There is no need to be frightened. She is quite friendly, I assure you.'

'But, sir,' James said, 'kelpies are dangerous. They lure people into the water and kill them.'

'I'm aware of the stories. But answer me this. Would you be more likely to tell someone if you saw something dragging people into a lake, or if you saw some people sitting by a lake having a pleasant conversation?'

'Well, the first one obviously, sir.'

'Exactly. There are good and bad members in any species capable of higher reasoning. Unfortunately, people only tell stories of the bad, because the good don't create stories worth telling.'

He looked around at the class, his gaze pausing on Remus for a moment. Remus felt a fluttering in his stomach. Was the professor telling him he would give him a chance? That's what his words seemed to imply, any species capable of higher reasoning, that must include werewolves, he thought.

Professor Hawthorne continued, 'I spoke with Emhio at length. Her home was destroyed by muggles. A previous headmaster allowed her to make a new home here, where she would be protected. She has been living at Hogwarts for over a hundred years and has never harmed a student, but has rescued many that have found themselves in the lake. She is lonely though, and eager to help with your lessons. Please give her a warm welcome.'

Professor Hawthorne waved his wand, and the sound of stone scraping against stone screeched through the classroom. The surface of the water rippled and Remus watched as a young woman emerged from the pool. She had long brown hair and wore a pale pink robe which clung to her skin.

'Hello, students,' she said as she climbed from the water to stand on the stage. She waved and the students all murmured greetings in return, still a little shocked by her presence.

Professor Hawthorne spent the rest of the lesson lecturing on kelpies, and towards the end, Emhio demonstrated their shape-shifting abilities and invited the students to ask questions. Before dismissing the class, Professor Hawthorne instructed them to write an essay on kelpies for homework, due Monday afternoon. Remus groaned, he would have to get that done now if he wanted to hand it in on time.

'It's a free period next. Do you have plans?' Lily asked as they packed their things.

'Thought I'd go to the library, get this homework done so I'm free for the weekend.'

'That's a good idea. Mind if I join you?'

'Not at all,' Remus said.

-o-o-o-o-

'Guess we better get to detention then,' Peter said as they left the Defence classroom.

'At least we're already on the right floor,' Sirius said.

He was still nervous despite James' reassurance the night before. They had received their detention slips at breakfast, informing them they were to present themselves to Professor Slughorn in the potions classroom at 9:45 for an hour-long detention. Sirius had also received a ranting letter from his mother. The contents were no surprise but they cemented his decision to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas and Easter. Best to put off that confrontation for as long as possible.

'I think it's this way,' James said, pointing down the corridor.

Remus had been absent from breakfast again, Sirius mused, as they hurried down the corridor in the direction they hoped to find the Potions classroom. He hadn't seen him at a meal since the Welcome Feast. The boy must be starving.

They arrived at the right door and James knocked, loud, confident, and unafraid. Sirius wanted so much to be like that.

'Come in,' Professor Slughorn called from inside.

James pushed the door open and walked in, followed closely by Sirius and Peter.

'Ah, hello. Wonderful. You're here for detention, yes?'

'Yes, sir,' James said.

'Right, well. Since your crime involved making a rather large mess, your punishment is cleaning. I have twelve cauldrons in need of a good scrub, the muggle way mind you. They need to be free of any traces of magic.'

Slughorn led them through a door behind the teacher's desk and into a large potions lab. Along the back wall of the room were several brewing stations, complete with cauldrons, some bubbling with potions, others under stasis and a few empty. In the centre of the lab there was a vast work station for preparing ingredients. The ingredients themselves lined two of the other walls in jars, bottles and vials, and sealed behind glass doors. The fourth wall held a cleaning station and Slughorn herded them in that direction, where twelve cauldrons were stacked in various states of cleanliness.

'Right, I'll leave you to it then. I'll be in the other room if you need anything.'

Slughorn left, and Sirius poked at the cauldrons. He felt relieved. Cleaning cauldrons was the most painless punishment he had ever received. It was barely even a punishment. There was nothing to fear. The Hogwarts teachers wouldn't hurt him and his parents couldn't reach him here. Something changed within him. Something significant. It was as if the sun had risen on his world for the first time; the shadows that had darkened his way for as long as he could remember faded, and he saw the vast expanse of life laid out before him.

Freedom.

The freedom to make choices.

The freedom to be himself.

The freedom to not hurt.

He turned to the others, his friends, and allowed a wolfish grin to spread across his face.

'Twelve cauldrons, three of us, that's four each. Shouldn't be too difficult.' He looked back at the cauldrons. 'How do muggles clean things exactly?'

James and Peter laughed.

'What? You've never had to clean anything before?' Peter said.

'No, we have house-elves for that.'

'Oh. Well, it's not difficult. I'll show you.'

Peter showed Sirius how to scrub the cauldrons, and they worked in silence for a while. Sirius was aware of James and Peter chatting beside him, but he blocked it out as his mind drifted back to his worry for Remus. As far as he could tell, the boy hadn't eaten for over twenty-four hours, and he didn't look like he could afford to skip one meal, let alone four. In Defence, he had looked even sicker than he had on their first day.

'Guys, have you noticed Remus hasn't come to any meals since the Welcome Feast?' Sirius said, interrupting their conversation.

'Huh, I think you're right,' James said. 'Do you reckon he's avoiding you?'

'Merlin, I hope not. It's bad enough that he thinks I hate him. I don't want to be responsible for him starving to death.'

'Maybe he has an eating disorder,' Peter said. 'He didn't eat much at the feast, did he?'

'No, just some rice thing. He didn't seem to enjoy it either,' Sirius said. 'Um… what's an eating disorder?'

'I saw it on TV. Sometimes people stop eating. Because they think they're fat, or they want control over something in their lives, or some other reason. They stop eating or they eat just enough to stay alive.'

Sirius stared at him. 'Okay. But what's TV?'

Peter laughed. 'It's a muggle thing. It's like a box with a window. The muggles record something, and everyone who has a TV can watch it through the window at the same time.'

Sirius blinked.

'That sounds brilliant. But are you sure? My mother says muggles are stupid. How could they make something like that?'

'Ever think your mother might be wrong, mate?' James asked.

'Every damn day, Jamesy boy. Every damn day,' Sirius said, putting his arm around James' shoulders and dropping a wet kiss on his forehead. 'So, if Remus has an eating disorder, what can I do?'

James wiped Sirius' slobber from his forehead and scowled at him, while Sirius just grinned back.

'He might just be avoiding the hall so he doesn't have to see us. We should test that first. Maybe take some food back to the dorm for him?' James suggested.

-o-o-o-o-

Remus strolled down to the kitchens for lunch, thinking about his last lesson. He had been looking forward to History of Magic; he had thought it would be interesting to learn about the past. When the Professor had arrived through the blackboard, he had been even more hopeful that the lessons would be good. How could a ghost teacher possibly be boring after all? Oh, how wrong he had been. Professor Binns must have been the most boring teacher to ever exist. His voice droned monotonously and had a soporific effect on the students. Half the class had fallen asleep, and the professor hadn't even noticed.

Remus had struggled to stay awake himself. It was only two days until the full moon, so he was drained, but he had managed to pull through and get down some decent notes. Near the beginning of the lesson, he had sensed someone's gaze and looked around to find Sirius examining him. That boy paid him far too much attention. He would need to be careful.

He arrived at the painting of a bowl of fruit and let himself into the kitchens. An elf scurried up to him at once.

'Good afternoons, Master Remus. Breen has prepared your lunch for you over here. Follow me, sir.'

'Good afternoon, Breen,' Remus said, following the elf to a small table in the corner of the kitchen.

Teely, the elf in charge of the kitchen, had assigned Breen to Remus duty, and the elf had questioned him extensively on his likes and dislikes the day before. So, Remus was sure whatever he had prepared would be enjoyable. His stomach growled in anticipation.

He sat down and Breen presented him with a plate of steak and cheese sandwiches and a goblet of pumpkin juice. The steak was still warm, and the cheese melted, gooey and delicious. Remus thanked the elf and began eating, Breen stood to one side, waiting in case Remus needed anything else. Remus felt a little uncomfortable with the elf watching him eat in silence. He didn't even blink, just stared at him with those big, green eyes.

'So, Breen. I know the house-elves do all the cooking. What else are you responsible for at Hogwarts?' Remus asked, hoping conversing with the elf would make the situation less awkward.

'Oh, lots of things, Master Remus. We does the laundry and cleans the dormitories and common rooms. We fix or replace broken things and make sure the fires is all lit. I can show you if you wishes?'

Remus agreed, delighted. It would be interesting to see how the elves did things, since he never saw them in the castle, and it would make him feel less like a museum exhibit if he ate while Breen showed him around. The elf led him through the kitchen, the other elves moving to clear a path for him, and to a door at the end.

'This is the laundry room,' Breen said, pushing the door open.

Steam billowed out, and Remus stepped into it and looked around. There were over a hundred baskets lined up in rows against one wall, each labelled with a house name, gender, year and dormitory number. In the centre of the room were several vast buckets of steaming hot, soapy water, the contents swirling around of their own accord.

'We could clean the clothes with magic, but hot waters and soap does a better job,' Breen said, pointing at the buckets, 'so we use magic on the water instead.'

At the other end of the room, wet laundry was heaped on a long table and several elves were drying the items, folding them and sorting them into piles. When a pile got too big, an elf vanished it.

Seeing Remus watching, Breen said, 'We sends the clean laundry to the clean laundry basket in the owner's dorm.'

'How do you get the dirty clothes?' Remus asked.

'The students put it in the basket in their dorm room, when we is ready for it we calls it to the basket here.'

'Fascinating,' Remus said.

'Would you likes to see the storage rooms now?'

'Yes, please.' Remus said, popping the last bite of his sandwich into his mouth.

Breen led him back out of the laundry room and through another door in the kitchen.

The storage rooms were much bigger than Remus had imagined. A network of rooms and corridors that housed every type of furniture you could think of, as well as fixtures and fittings, decorative items and soft furnishings. All of it was clean and ready for use despite most of the items appearing quite old. Remus was not surprised when Breen led him into a room where several elves were busy fixing broken furniture and sewing damaged curtains with enchanted needles. It was clear they preferred repairing to replacing. When he had seen everything there was to see in the elves quarters, Remus thanked Breen for the tour and left.

He climbed the steps to Gryffindor tower, beginning to wish he had been placed in Hufflepuff so there would be fewer stairs involved in his daily life. He needed to retrieve his Herbology equipment for fifth period, and there wouldn't be time to get all the way up to the tower and back down to the greenhouse after Transfiguration. When he reached the common room, he checked the time on the clock above the fireplace. There was only five minutes until class started. He was definitely going to be late. After dashing up to the dorm, he pushed the door open and was pleased to see an empty room.

Remus grabbed what he needed from his trunk at the end of his bed and turned to leave, when he caught sight of something strange out of the corner of his eye. He turned back to get a proper look and was surprised out of his rush for a moment. There was a sandwich sat on his bedside table. He sniffed the air. It was bacon. How odd. He stared at the out-of-place food for a few seconds before mentally shaking himself. He needed to get to class.

-o-o-o-o-

Saturday, 4th September 1971, 1:00am

Something was poking him in the side, and it had better bloody well stop if it didn't want to be punched in the face.

'Sirius, wake up.'

That was James' voice. Why was James speaking to him now? He was sleeping for fuck's sake.

'Come on, Sirius, we have to set-up the joke,' James whispered.

Right. The joke. How could he forget? It was going to be brilliant. Sirius forced his eyes open and blinked at James' face hovering above him.

'Okay, I'm awake. Go wake Pete,' Sirius mumbled.

'He's already up. Can't you tell by the lack of snoring?' James asked with a chuckle.

'I thought it seemed a bit quiet.'

Sirius hauled himself upright and swung his legs out of bed as James jumped back out of the way.

'Get dressed, we'll meet in the common room.'

Sirius grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom to dress. When he was finished, he tiptoed down the stairs to meet his friends for their first big practical joke. The first of many, he hoped. He felt much better about it all after serving his first detention. The punishment for misbehaviour was so mild compared to what he suffered at home that it was laughable. His anxiety about getting into trouble had vanished, and in its place was excitement and a sense of freedom. He was bubbling over with energy like an overheated cauldron.

'Here he is, excellent,' James said as Sirius rounded the last bend of the staircase. 'Are you both ready for this?'

'Yes, sir!' Sirius said, standing to attention. Peter copied him, and then they all giggled, their excitement overtaking them for a moment.

'Right, I have the balloons, and I have something else too. You remember the thing I took from Filch's filing cabinet?'

Sirius and Peter nodded.

'I had a chance to examine it earlier, and it's perfect for this joke, just you wait and see. Right, everyone get under the cloak, we don't want to be caught on the way there.'

They all crammed themselves together, and James swung the cloak over their heads. Walking with caution, they made their way down the stairs to the Great Hall. They saw no one along the way, the halls of Hogwarts were deserted and eerily silent.

Sirius and James left the cloak with Peter at the doors to the Great Hall and went inside. James pulled out the box of balloons, opened it and placed it on the nearest table, which happened to be Gryffindor's.

'Let's get started then,' he said with a cocky grin.

Sirius grinned back and grabbed a balloon. He pulled out the tag, and the balloon began to inflate. As it grew, its shape formed into that of a purple tiger, complete with lime-green stripes. The tiger expanded until it was three times its natural size. When it stopped, Sirius released it and let it float up to the enchanted ceiling, where it bumped against an invisible barrier.

'They're all different, you know, each one is unique,' James said, releasing a gigantic bright yellow mouse into the air.

They continued inflating the balloons for over an hour. At one point, Sirius had inflated a balloon shaped like a black and green striped pig, and it reminded him of the bacon sandwich he had left for Remus in the dorm. He hadn't eaten it. After a tedious afternoon spent learning the theory behind object to object transfiguration and planting wormwood in greenhouse one, they had returned to the dorm to find the sandwich still sat there, cold, stale and unappetising. Sirius had never realised that something as small as a sandwich could weigh so heavily before today.

When the hall was filled so tightly that they could barely move, James turned to him. 'Now for the finishing touch.' He pulled the door open a crack and hissed, 'Pete, get in here.'

Sirius felt the air move against his arm and then Peter appeared, pulling the cloak off.

'Right, watch this.'

James pulled a small vial from his pocket and held it aloft. Inside, turquoise smoke spiralled, creating intricate patterns momentarily, before swirling away into a new pattern. It was mesmerising.

'When I take the cork out, we need to leave fast. As soon as the smoke is released, it will start to animate everything it touches. By morning everything in this room will be acting as if it is alive,' James said with more than a hint of glee in his voice.

'How long will it last?' Sirius asked.

'Depends on the quality. Up to a week.'

'Excellent.'

'Ready?'

Sirius and Peter nodded. Both had their hands on a door handle ready to flee, and James placed the vial on the floor, holding it with one hand while the other gripped the cork.

'Three, two, one, now!' James yelled, pulling the cork out at the exact moment Sirius and Pete pushed the doors open and dashed through. James spun on his heel and hurried out, Sirius and Peter slammed the doors closed and they all breathed a relieved sigh and grinned at each other.

'We're not safe yet, still need to get back to the dorm,' James said.

Peter pulled the cloak out and swung it around their shoulders, making them invisible, and they crept their way back to Gryffindor tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's my birthday today and comments make great presents, just saying ;-)


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> First, a big thank you to everyone who left me birthday reviews, you really made my day :)
> 
> Second, sorry it's been two weeks, my beta has had a busy fortnight, but I do have nine more chapters written now :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Saturday, 4th September 1971, 8:43 am

Remus was on his way down the Grand Staircase for breakfast when a giant blue squirrel startled him by dashing past him up the bannister. He spun around to watch its progress as it continued climbing. The strange creature didn’t seem to have any fur, and its skin had an odd shine to it. If forced to guess, he would say it was made from rubber. Weird. But what else would you expect in a magic school?

As he continued to descend the stairs, the sound of yelling, laughter and running feet reached his ears. He was almost at the ground floor when three Gryffindor second-years darted around the corner and passed him to run up the stairs. They were howling with laughter, and moments later an enormous, orange leopard with pink spots rounded the corner and leapt after them. Remus wondered if the animals were connected to his dorm mates sneaking out of the room the night before. They had been giggling loud enough to wake him up when they returned two hours later.

He reached the entrance hall and flattened himself against the wall. It was chaos. At least a hundred students were crowded into the space. The entrance hall was vast, so this normally wouldn’t be a problem, but there were also hundreds of the strange, technicolour rubber animals bursting out of the Great Hall. Animals that were naturally small were inflated to several times their usual size. While bigger animals, like the deep purple elephant that was forcing its way out through the doors, were normal-sized. There were rubber birds in the air, dive-bombing squealing students, and rubber primates swinging from the light fixtures to land on people’s heads. No one seemed to be able to enter the hall to eat, though several students were still trying.

Remus spotted Professor McGonagall attempting to herd the students back to the staircase, and Professor Dumbledore was standing off to one side watching the chaos unfold with a twinkle in his eye. The sea of students parted, and the tip of a hat bobbed its way down the path heading towards the main doors. A giant rabbit floated ahead of it, trapped in a bubble of faint yellow light. When the rabbit reached the doors, they swung open, and the light bubble vanished. The rabbit bounded away towards the forbidden forest and the watching children cheered.

‘Attention, students,’ Professor McGonagall said, her voice magically amplified to be heard over the commotion. ‘It will take some time to clear the Great Hall. Please return to your common rooms. Breakfast will be served to you there shortly.’

Remus stayed put while he waited for the entrance hall to clear of people. As the students left the area and made room, more animals spilled from the Great Hall. The entrance hall was almost empty of people when Remus heard a series of loud thuds and looked up in time to see the four house tables, led by the teachers’ table, gallop out of the hall. They charged through the throng of balloon animals, knocking them out of the way, and out into the grounds, where they pranced around on the grass, seeming to enjoy the sunshine and freedom.

Remus chuckled and batted his way through the balloon animals towards the kitchens. The prank had been impressive for a bunch of first-years. The balloons were obviously store-bought, but he had no idea how they had animated them. He reckoned he could do better though. A good prankster needed one thing if they didn’t want to be caught. Allies. And preventing your fellow students from eating was not the way to win them. Also, he would do it all with his own magic. He wouldn’t cheat by using store-bought items.

Remus felt a thrill of excitement. After breakfast, he would hit the library. He was bound to find something useful.

* * *

Sirius, James and Peter crouched in the corner of the entrance hall under the invisibility cloak with their hands over their mouths, trying to contain their laughter as they watched the house tables stampeding out through the front doors.

‘I forgot the tables would animate too. This is brilliant,’ James whispered.

‘I know,’ Sirius whispered back. ‘We should get back upstairs though. The teachers will be trying to find out who did it.’

They stood up and stepped away from the wall, but Sirius flung his arms out to stop them when he spotted someone else peeling themselves away from the wall.

‘Wait. Is that Remus?’ he said, pointing. ‘Where’s he going?’

They watched as Remus crossed the hall and headed down to the dungeons instead of up.

‘I dunno, mate, but we can’t follow him now. We need to go,’ James said.

Sirius knew James was right, but he was intrigued and decided he would follow Remus another time. The boys made their way to an alcove where they could remove the cloak without being seen and raced back up to Gryffindor tower. Well, Sirius raced James. Peter sort of just huffed along behind, arriving at the common room a good ten minutes after Sirius and James and finding them already settled in a corner with plates of sausages, bacon and eggs and a bowl of cut fruit. James insisted on the fruit, saying it was, “important to keep one’s body healthy.”

‘Do you two have to run everywhere?’ Peter huffed, sitting down at the table with his friends.

‘Yes. Yes, we do.’ Sirius said, nodding.

‘Don’t complain, mate. If we hadn’t, you wouldn’t have any bacon. Look.’ James pointed at the long table that had appeared in the middle of the common room, laden with food. ‘They’ve already run out. But we got some for you because we’re the best mates in the world.’

Peter picked up a rasher of bacon with his fingers. ‘You’re right. Thank you for running ahead so I could enjoy this delicious breakfast meat, oh wondrous friends of mine,’ he said, before stuffing the entire rasher into his mouth and chewing with a blissful smile on his face.

James laughed and slapped Peter on the back, ‘That’s the spirit.’

The common room was crowded and noisy with the whole of Gryffindor house present and trying to eat. Someone had coaxed a balloon lion through the portrait hole, and the inflated big cat prowled the room, pouncing on anyone who wasn’t paying attention and making them squeal with surprise. Sirius kept an eye out for Remus while he ate, but he never returned from wherever he had gone. He hadn’t eaten for two days now, and Sirius wondered if he should tell an adult, although that went against everything he believed in.

A sudden silence descended on the room, and Sirius looked up from his plate to see Professor McGonagall standing in front of the entrance and every student in the room staring at her in shock. The inflated lion was creeping up behind her, and Sirius gulped. Before the lion could pounce though, Professor McGonagall seemed to sense the impending attack and spun around. With a swift flick of her wand, she cast a spell at the lion, encasing it in the same pale yellow bubble that Professor Flitwick had used on the bunny in the entrance hall.

Turning back around, she glared at the packed room. ‘Misters Potter, Black and Pettigrew, you will come with me.’

The boys stared at each other.

‘How does she know?’ James whispered.

‘No idea, mate,’ Sirius said, standing up and eyeing the furious professor. ‘We better go though. She looks mad.’

‘Follow me,’ McGonagall said when the boys reached her. She flicked her wand again, and the lion floated out of the portrait hole ahead of them. They followed her down several flights of stairs to the first floor, and when they reached McGonagall’s office, she waved them inside before striding over to the window. She opened it, directed the lion through, floated it to the ground and released it to join the hundreds of other balloon animals bounding around the school grounds.

‘Sit down, gentlemen,’ she said, moving to stand behind her desk.

The boys took seats in front of the desk and looked up at her. She made eye contact with each of them in turn, making them squirm in their seats.

‘I’m sure you’re wondering how I know that the three of you were responsible for the chaos this morning?’

Peter nodded.

‘Thank you for that confirmation, Mister Pettigrew.’

Sirius and James glared at him.

‘The Fat Lady informed me that the three of you requested entry to the tower at a quarter to three this morning. Since nobody else was outside of their common rooms after curfew last night, it was a simple deduction. I am very disappointed in all of you. Why you thought disrupting breakfast in this manner was a good idea, I will never understand. It was not only disruptive to the student population on the first weekend of term, but also caused a lot of extra work for the house-elves. It was extremely rude and inconsiderate. Thirty house points will be taken from each of you, and you will each receive two detentions. One for the disruption you caused and one for being out after curfew, to be served with me.’

She turned to glare at Sirius.

‘Mister Black, you have been at school for less than three days and have already earned yourself four detentions. I think that might even be a school record. I want you to attend a meeting with me tomorrow afternoon to discuss your behaviour. Be here at half past seven and do not be late.’

She turned back to the others.

‘Do you have anything to say for yourselves?’

They all stared at their feet and shook their heads. Even James wasn’t brave enough to talk back to McGonagall.

‘Very well. You may go.’

After leaving the office, James grabbed Sirius and Peter by the arm and dragged them down the corridor and around a corner before stopping and bursting into laughter.

‘Oh my Gods, did you see her face? I thought she was going to explode!’ he got out in between snorts.

Sirius stared at him dumbfounded that he could find getting into so much trouble that funny, but the laughter was contagious, and he was soon overcome with his own uncontrollable giggles. The three of them staggered back to the common room, clinging to each other in an attempt to stay upright and trying to regain control. They were still breaking out into the occasional giggle when they climbed through the portrait hole.

* * *

The library was quiet and peaceful, and it smelled of dust and parchment and ink. Remus adored it. He took a deep breath through his nose as he entered the sanctuary and sighed with contentment. He felt so at home in this space. Finding a secluded table in the corner of the transfiguration section, he set himself up ready to take notes and wandered down the aisle to browse. He had some idea of what he wanted to do but needed to do some research to find out if it was possible.

As he scanned the book titles for something useful, he thought back over the events of the last few days. Specifically, his dorm mates. Despite the way Sirius had treated him on their first day, he liked the other boys. Their mischievousness matched his own, and none of them had been horrid to him since. There was also the mystery of the spontaneously appearing sandwich. Had one of his dorm mates left it there for him? And if they had, why? The most logical explanation was that they had noticed his absence from the Great Hall and wanted to make sure he got something to eat, and that was kind—thoughtful even—so maybe he should give them a chance.

Sirius had attacked Snape in Potions class, though. But after what Snape had done to him in the owlery, he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He felt the heavy weight of shame at that thought. He really should care about the unprovoked attack on a student.

Should he extend the hand of friendship? Metaphorically of course, he couldn’t actually touch them. Or was it too much of a risk? Sirius was observant, always watchful of his surroundings and the people near to him. He had the air of a hunted animal about him, and someone like that posed a grave danger to his secret, but was he more dangerous as a friend, or would that make him safer? A friend might be more likely to keep his secret if they discovered it, but they might also be more likely to discover it in the first place.

Huffing with annoyance at his own indecision, Remus scowled at the books on the shelf in front of him. A dark red volume caught his eye. The title of the book was etched in gold on the spine.

_“Transfiguration en masse”_

It sounded perfect. He pulled the book down and returned to his desk with it. Opening the book to the contents page, he ran his finger down the list.

_Chapter 1 - Introduction_

_Chapter 2 - Theory_

_Chapter 3 - Focusing your mind_

_Chapter 4 - Channelling_

He turned to chapter two and scanned until he found what he was looking for.

_“Unlike instant transfiguration, which is dependent, to a certain extent, on the size of the caster’s magical core, delayed transfiguration is only limited by the amount of time the caster is prepared to expend. By channelling one’s magic into a container to be used later, a witch or wizard can increase their transfiguration ability infinitely and without risk.”_

This was exactly what Remus was looking for. He flipped to chapter three and read through the information carefully. It seemed his months of meditation were about to pay off in an unexpected way. The complicated technique necessary for the spell to work wouldn’t be a problem for him, while it would take months of practice for someone who had never meditated.

He scanned through the information in chapter four, just to get an idea of what channelling his magic into a container would involve. To his relief, it didn’t sound too hard. The technique was similar to channelling into a potion, but harder because of the need to keep focusing on your target and your intent at the same time. He felt confident that he could manage it though.

His plan was coming together, but it wouldn’t be successful unless he could delay the transfiguration until a specified time, after the magic was transferred to an object placed in the container. He needed a timed activation charm and a way to combine it with the delayed transfiguration spell. With this in mind, he strolled over to the charms section of the library and didn’t take long to locate a book called Timing Your Talents. A quick flick through the pages revealed the spell he needed, and it had a low difficulty rating so he should be able to cast it with a little practice.

Remus was pleased with the afternoon’s work, but he still needed to combine the spells. He searched the library for another hour but found nothing useful until he reached the section on spell creation. Maybe he could devise his own method. He removed several books from the shelves and returned to his desk to study them.

Another hour later, Remus had three sheets of parchment filled with scrawled notes, equations and diagrams. And a functioning spell to combine the transfiguration with the charm, or so he hoped. Now he just needed somewhere to practise. He packed up his things and returned the books to their homes—he had no wish to annoy the librarian and get banned from the library—before grabbing his bag and leaving to search for a suitable location.

Remus climbed the stairs to the fifth floor, and it didn’t take long to find an empty classroom. He decided to practise each element separately before attempting to combine them and began with the delayed transfiguration spell. Pulling out an empty potion bottle from his bag, he scanned the room for an object small enough to fit inside it. He couldn’t see anything at first. The room contained nothing but dusty furniture. Some old desks, a few chairs, an empty bookcase and a blackboard hanging on the wall with rude words scrawled across its surface.

Eyeing the desks, an idea occurred to him. It was disgusting. Really gross, in fact. But needs must. He bent over and looked underneath the nearest desk. Yes. What else would you expect to find on the underside of school desks but used gum? That is so nasty, Remus thought, as he scraped off a wad, but it would be simple to transfigure, making it kind of ideal for the first attempt.

He placed the hardened wad of gum on the desk next to the potion bottle and pulled out his wand. Closing his eyes, he conjured up a mental image of the gum and, while holding that image in his mind, he pictured a second image, a perfect cube of gum, at the same time. Next, he pressed the tip of his wand against the potion bottle and tried to locate his magical core inside himself. In doing so, he lost focus on his mental images. Dammit. He opened his eyes and glared at the gum in annoyance.

Trying again, he located his magical core first and began the channelling process before conjuring up his mental images. He muttered the incantation under his breath and continued to channel for several seconds to be sure there would be enough magic stored to complete the transfiguration. It was a tiny object, and he was only altering one aspect of it, so it wouldn’t take much. He would need to do some careful calculations before the actual event, though, to make sure it worked as planned.

Finished, he picked up the gum and dropped it into the opening at the top of the bottle. He was delighted when it instantly changed shape into a perfect cube. He tipped it out and scraped a second piece of gum from the underside of the desk and repeated the process. This time focusing on an image of a perfect sphere of gum and channelling magic for twice as long into the container. Remus dropped the first piece of gum in, and it changed into a perfect sphere. Now to test if the effect would work on a second item as intended, or whether the magic had all been used on the first item. He dropped the second piece of gum in and it changed just like it was supposed to. Remus was thrilled. He hadn’t expected to have so much success so fast.

The coming moon was already affecting him; he could feel the pull of it, and his energy levels were dropping, but he wanted to finish the preliminary tests today so he could move on to practising on larger items after his transformation. If the combining incantation he had put together didn’t work, then he would need to return to the research stage, and there was a high possibility of it not working.

Recalling the incantation for a simple gouging charm, he tried it out on the desktop first to make sure he could do it and then cast it with the timing charm, setting the activation for five seconds. He waited the five seconds, and a deep gouge appeared on the desk, right where he had cast it. With both elements of his spell working, he now needed to test them in combination.

He went through the process of channelling and conjured his mental images of the current gum spheres and the perfect cubes he wanted them to become. With all the elements in place he spoke the words of the timing charm followed by his combining incantation and finishing with the delayed transfiguration spell. He continued to channel enough magic for two transfigurations. With the spell complete he dropped the two pieces of gum into the bottle, nothing happened. Good. Remus tipped the bottle up to empty them back out onto the table. The timing spell was set for midday, so he sat down while he waited. He was exhausted.

At exactly midday, the two pieces of gum on the table transformed into perfect cubes, Remus smiled at the sight. Moments later his eyes drifted closed, and he fell asleep.

* * *

After their dressing down from McGonagall that morning, Sirius, James and Peter had returned to the common room. There had been some talk of getting homework done, but James had shot the idea down and suggested playing a few games of exploding snap instead. Sirius had never played before. His parents believed card games to be a waste of time, but he got the hang of it fast and was soon winning every game. While they were playing, Sirius noticed two red-headed boys watching them. They looked old enough to be seventh-years, and they were identical.

‘Don’t look around, but we’re being watched. Two seventh-years. They keep staring at us and whispering.’

‘The ginger twins?’ James asked.

Sirius nodded.

‘Yeah, I noticed them looking at us when McGonagall came to get us earlier. Maybe they’re impressed.’

‘Or they’re planning something,’ Peter said.

‘Could be. We should watch our backs.’ Sirius said.

After lunch, James suggested they explore the castle a bit. Sirius agreed because he hadn’t seen Remus since that morning and it worried him. Wandering around the castle seemed like an excellent way to find him without it being obvious he was looking. Peter was as enthusiastic as he always was for anything James suggested. The boy had a serious case of hero-worship.

The three boys set out wandering the corridors with no particular destination in mind, poking at oddly shaped bricks, pulling at light fixtures and speaking to portraits and statues. They were on the second floor when Peter found something, quite by accident. Meandering down a deserted stretch of corridor, Peter had caught his foot in the bottom edge of a tapestry that was a little too long for the wall it was hanging on. As he tripped, the tapestry was pulled back, revealing a hole in the wall behind it.

Peter went crashing to the floor at the same moment that James yelled, ‘Hey, you found a secret passage, Pete!’

‘Dunderful,’ Peter said. ‘I bit my dongue.’

‘Shake it off, mate. You found the first secret passage. Let’s see where it goes,’ Sirius said.

The passage was dark and dusty, and smelled faintly of cabbages. The only light was filtered through minute gaps in the walls on either side. Sirius wrinkled his nose but led the way in. Peter took the rear, carefully pulling the tapestry back into place behind him. They followed the path around several twists and turns, and up a few flights of stairs, before reaching what appeared at first to be a dead end. The passage was blocked off by a smooth slab of wood; they pushed against it, but it wouldn’t budge.

‘Feel around, see if there’s some kind of button or switch to open it,’ James said.

They all fumbled around in the dim light for a few minutes when Sirius announced he had found something.

‘I think it’s a rune, like the ones on our desks in Potions.’

‘Tap it with your wand then,’ James said.

Sirius pulled out his wand and tapped it against the carved symbol in the top-left corner of the wooden barricade. The wood slid to one side and revealed an abandoned classroom, thick with dust. Sirius walked in first and jumped out of his skin when he spotted a slumped figure sitting in a chair.

‘Remus!’ he gasped, before hurrying over.

Was he sick? Hurt? He had to find out. In his haste to reach the boy, he knocked into a table. It was just his luck that it was the only table in the room that had anything on it. The glass potion bottle fell over when the desk was jostled, rolled and tumbled to the floor where it smashed with a loud crash. Sirius was just reaching out his hand when Remus leapt out of the chair.

‘Don’t touch me!’ Remus screamed as he stumbled backwards, knocking over the chair he had been sleeping in seconds before.

Sirius, startled, jumped away. Remus stared at him with wide, frightened eyes, before grabbing his bag from the floor and running from the room, slamming the door closed behind him.

Sirius looked at James. ‘What the fuck?’

James shrugged. ‘I don’t know, mate. That was weird.’

‘What was he even doing in here?’ Peter said. He studied the broken glass on the floor. ’Do you think he took something?’

‘Maybe,’ James said. ‘I’ve heard about potions that make you feel good. When they wear off, they can make you angry and paranoid. Do you think he’s an addict?’

Sirius frowned. ‘Fuck. That’s even worse than the last theory.’

‘Do you think we should tell a teacher?’ Peter asked.

‘Not until we know something for sure. If we’re wrong, he won’t thank us for accusing him,’ James said.

‘That’s true,’ Peter agreed.

‘Let’s just keep an eye on him for now,’ Sirius said.

* * *

Remus paced back and forth in the owlery where he had taken refuge after running from his dorm mates. Rieka was perched on his shoulder, nuzzling his cheek to offer comfort. He felt like an idiot for reacting so violently, but he had been terrified waking up to find Sirius bent over him. So close. His hand reaching out to touch him. Infecting the Black heir would have been the end of his school career, and he’d only been there three days. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration, trying to decide what to do. Judging by the darkness, it was approaching curfew, and he would need to return to his common room soon, but he really didn’t want to face the others. His reaction had been extreme, and they were bound to tease him about it.

‘What would you do, Rieka?’

The owl whistled softly.

‘I know, I should go back to the common room.’

Rieka hooted in agreement.

‘Okay, okay. I’ll go. Hopefully, they’ll have gone to bed or something,’ he said, not really believing it.

On arriving at the Fat Lady, Remus took a deep breath before giving the password and climbing through. The common room was busy with students relaxing, and the noise was deafening to his sensitive ears. He scanned the room but didn’t see his dorm mates anywhere. Despite wanting to put off the confrontation with them as long as possible, he knew he wouldn’t be able to bear the noise of the common room this close to the full moon for long. Hunching his shoulders and drawing his arms around him, he hurried across the crowded room and up the stairs, taking care not to touch anyone along the way.

Remus pushed open the door to his dorm and stepped inside. The noise from the common room cut off the moment the door closed behind him. The dorms must be charmed to keep out external noise. Good to know, he thought. Sirius, James and Peter were sitting in a circle in the middle of the floor playing a card game that involved three decks of exploding snap cards, a generous bowl of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans and an assortment of socks. Remus didn’t want to know.

‘Remus!’ Sirius said, jumping to his feet. ‘Mate, I am so sorry for scaring you earlier. When I saw you slumped in the chair, I panicked. I thought you were dead or something.’

Remus blinked. That was not what he had expected at all. But an opportunity should never go to waste, and he needed to make sure nothing like that happened again. What if he hadn’t woken up in time?

‘It’s okay. It’s just, I don’t like to be touched. It’s a phobia, you know? Like some people don’t like spiders.’

Peter shuddered. ‘I know exactly what you mean,’ he said, glancing up at the top of the walls as if checking for potential eight-legged company.

‘Oh Merlin, I feel even worse now. I really am sorry. I hope you can forgive me,’ Sirius said. ‘We noticed you weren’t at dinner, so we bought some food back for you. A peace offering?’

Sirius produced a plate of cold meats and potatoes from the cupboard next to his bed and handed it to him. Remus had been too upset to go to the kitchens for dinner and he was starving. His stomach rumbled at the sight of the food. He took the plate and thanked Sirius before sitting on the end of his bed to eat.

‘We brought dessert too,’ Sirius said with a grin, pulling out a fat slice of triple-layer chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and strawberries on the side.

Remus licked his lips. He could almost feel his face light up just from looking at the delectable plate of chocolaty deliciousness.

‘Now that,’ Remus said, reaching out for the dish, ‘is an apology. Thank you. Thank you very much.’

‘You're welcome. And your preferences have been duly noted,’ Sirius said, handing it over with a wolfish grin.

‘I added the strawberries,’ James said, shrugging. ‘Thought you should have something healthy too.’


	10. Chapter 9

Sunday, 5th September 1971, 8:32 am

'Remus,' Sirius whispered.

Remus didn't stir.

'Remus, it's time for breakfast,' Sirius said a bit louder.

Remus still didn't move.

'Remus, wake up!' Sirius yelled.

Remus didn't even twitch.

'Mate, he probably won't want to go to the Great Hall anyway. Let's just bring him something back, yeah?' James said.

'Yeah, you're right. You ready, Pete?'

'I've been ready for ten minutes.'

The three boys headed down to breakfast, enjoying the sight of several stray balloon animals still roaming free in the castle along the way.

'So, we have the entire day stretching out before us. What shall we do?' James asked as they sat down at the Gryffindor table.

Sirius reached for some sausages and bacon. 'Well we have three pieces of homework due tomorrow.'

James scowled. 'That is not what I meant.'

'I know, I just wanted to see your face,' Sirius said, laughing.

'We could do some more exploring,' Peter said before taking a massive bite of the big breakfast sandwich he had built for himself.

James pointed at him with a proud expression. 'That's more like it. See, Sirius, Peter knows how to entertain a man. Are you taking notes?'

'I would, but you made your opinion on schoolwork very clear,' Sirius said with a smirk.

'Good, you're learning.' James gave him an approving nod. 'Now, exploring,' he said, leaning in close to the others. 'I think we should walk the corridors, checking all the tapestries and portraits now we know passages can be hidden behind them.'

'Sounds good to me.'

'Me too.'

'Great, let's finish up here then and get going. The sooner we leave, the more time we'll have to find secrets.'

'We need to take some food back for Remus first, though,' Sirius said.

'Oh right, yeah,' James said. He grabbed some napkins, and Sirius helped him assemble a monumental sandwich from all the best breakfast foods. James put an apple in his pocket and grabbed one for himself before insisting both Sirius and Peter take a piece of fruit too.

They hurried back upstairs and reached the dorm in record time, only to find it empty. Remus had already left.

'Well, that's just great,' James said, scowling at Remus' empty bed. 'We go to all that trouble and he's not even here.'

'Maybe he's in the bathroom,' Peter said. He walked over to the bathroom door and pushed it open to check. 'Nope, not here.'

'Dammit, I thought we were making progress last night,' Sirius said, flopping down on to his bed in a manner he hoped was suitably dramatic.

'Maybe you should stop trying,' James said.

Sirius pushed himself up on his elbows and stared at James. 'What? Why would I do that?'

'Well, he's making it pretty clear he doesn't want to be friends with us. He avoids us as much as he can.'

'But he didn't know we were bringing breakfast back for him.' Sirius shot to his feet. 'I want to look for him.'

'The castle is huge, and he could be anywhere. Let's just leave the food here and explore as we planned. We might come across him.'

Sirius deflated. 'Yeah, okay.'

Sirius was disappointed. He thought Remus was coming around after he accepted his peace offering the night before, but apparently, it wasn't going to be that easy.

-o-o-o-o-

Sunday, 5th September, 1971 6:24 pm

'Master Remus, sir? You must wakes up now. It is time to go to the hospital wing.'

Remus groaned. The high-pitched voice of the house-elf made his brain buzz. There was no other way of describing the uncomfortable sensation in his head, his brain was buzzing with every syllable. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

'Thanks for waking me, Breen.' Remus glanced around at the storage room. 'And thanks for letting me sleep here. This bed is really comfy.'

'Is no problem, Master Dumbledores told us to look after you, and Breen is noticing you is tired this morning. You almost fell asleep in your breakfasts.'

'I did, didn't I?' Remus said with a chuckle.

'You must go, Master Remus, or you wills be late, and Madame Pomfrey doesn't likes people being late.' The elf stared at him with wide, pleading eyes.

'Yes, right. I'm going now.' Remus pushed himself to his feet and headed for the door. 'Thanks again, Breen. See you in a couple of days,' he called over his shoulder.

'Good lucks tonight, Master Remus.'

Remus smiled to himself as he left the kitchen. The elves were so kind. His smile faded, though, when he recalled the events of that morning. He felt guilty for shunning his dorm mates, Sirius' first try had woken him, but he pretended to still be asleep. It was for the best, though. Sleep had been hard to come by the night before. He had lain awake for a long time wondering if he should befriend them or not, but had decided keeping them at a distance would be best. Sirius was already paying far too much attention to his movements. Being his friend would only make his absences more noticeable.

Remus sighed as he pushed open the door to the hospital wing. It was a shame because he really did want to be friends, and it seemed like they wanted that too, but they wouldn't if they found out what he was. They would turn on him, and that would cause more pain than if he didn't become friends with them at all. He was at Hogwarts for an education, friendships weren't necessary. Remus sighed. Who was he trying to convince? He wanted friends, but he knew he couldn't have them.

'Ah, Mister Lupin. Well done for getting here on time,' Madam Pomfrey said, bustling out of her office.

'I wouldn't risk being late, Madam. That would be dangerous.'

'Of course. I'll just disillusion you and then we'll go.'

Madam Pomfrey tapped him on the head with her wand, and he felt the familiar sensation creep down his spine before she led him to the doors of the hospital wing and out to the grounds, holding doors open long enough for him to pass through them along the way.

Once outside, they strolled across the manicured lawn towards an enormous tree. The Whomping Willow, Dumbledore had called it. He said it "guarded" the entrance to the tunnel. Remus wondered how a tree could guard something. As they got closer, he understood. With an ear splitting creak, the tree sprang to life, its branches swinging around at high speed and thumping the ground around it as if warding off predators. That'll be where the "whomping" comes from, Remus thought.

Madam Pomfrey levitated a stick with her wand. 'Watch carefully, I expect you'll be doing this for yourself eventually,' she said, before manoeuvring the stick to poke a knot at the base of the tree. The branches froze in place, and Madam Pomfrey ushered him forward and into a hole hidden in the folds of the trunk. The hole opened out into a narrow tunnel carved from the earth. Remus was small enough to walk upright, but Madam Pomfrey had to bend almost double to avoid hitting her head on the ceiling.

'I can't wait until you learn Colloportus so I don't have to come down here to drop you off. Rubeus could have made it bigger,' she grumbled.

'I'll try to learn as soon as possible, I'm sorry.' Remus felt a flash of guilt that she was suffering on his behalf.

'Oh, it's not your fault, sweetheart. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. It's just with the size of Hagrid, you'd expect the tunnel to be far too big, not too narrow,' she said, giving Remus a cheeky smile.

Remus grinned back. 'Yeah, you're right, he's huge. How did he even fit in here to dig it?'

'I think his dog did most of the work. Ah, here we are.'

They had reached the end of the tunnel. Before them was a dead end, but there was a trapdoor in the ceiling with a ladder descending from it. Madam Pomfrey pushed the trapdoor open and climbed the ladder, and Remus followed. The trapdoor opened into a large empty room; the window was boarded up, but there were minuscule gaps between the boards allowing a small amount of light to filter into the room. There was a fireplace in one wall, complete with roaring fire warming the small house, but no other furniture.

'The fire's enchanted to light itself if the temperature drops below 18 degrees, and it'll adjust to keep the room pleasant. We don't want you to be cold.'

'That's…' Remus was lost for words. 'Thank you.'

Madam Pomfrey smiled at him. 'It's no more than you should expect. If you need anything else, please let me know. There's a ward on the fire so the wolf won't be able to burn himself, and a bed upstairs. I'll be back to get you at eight-thirty tomorrow morning. Moonset is around twenty-past. Okay?'

'Yes, thank you, Madam Pomfrey. You should go, it's almost time.'

'Yes. Right. Good luck, Remus. I'll lock the trapdoor behind me.'

She hurried to the trapdoor and Remus watched her leave, listening for the click that indicated the trapdoor was locked. He tested it to make sure before climbing the stairs to check out the bed. There were two rooms upstairs. One was a small bathroom with white tiles, a toilet, bath and sink. The other was a bedroom. Literally a room with a bed in it. It was a small single bed with a pillow and blanket. Remus was dubious about the soft furnishings. The wolf had a history of ripping anything like that to shreds, but there was nothing he could do about it. There was nowhere he could hide them.

He climbed onto the bed and curled up to wait. He wasn't waiting for long. The first warning tingles spread through him, and he moved to all fours to avoid any unfortunate angles when his limbs transformed. He focused on his breathing, trying to hold back the screams, not wanting to scare the villagers, but the pain became too much and he gave in with a soul-wrenching roar.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius, James, and Peter had spent all day exploring. They had found multiple hidden alcoves which would be great for hiding in when they were running from Filch, two secret passages which would be useful short-cuts and a room behind a portrait which they were all sure they could definitely find a use for. But not Remus. They hadn't seen any sign of him all day, and Sirius was growing increasingly worried.

'It's almost time for your meeting with McGonagall, isn't it?' James asked as they traversed the first floor.

'Yeah, I should get going.' Sirius was not looking forward to this meeting. He didn't know what to expect, and his stomach was doing somersaults in anticipation.

James scanned his face. 'Want us to come with? We can wait outside for you.'

A warm feeling blossomed in Sirius' chest at the offer. 'You wouldn't mind?' he asked.

'I'm offended at the suggestion that you thought we might. Of course we don't mind.' James grabbed his arm. 'Let's go.'

Ten minutes later, they arrived at Professor McGonagall's office. They were two minutes early, which was good considering her dire warning against being late, and Sirius knocked timidly.

'Enter,' came from inside in McGonagall's stern voice.

'Good luck, mate. We'll be right here,' James said, patting him on the shoulder and flashing him a reassuring grin.

When Sirius walked in, Professor McGonagall was seated behind her desk, leaning back in her chair. 'Good to see you here on time, Mister Black. Have a seat,' she said.

Sirius did as instructed, feeling very small and alone in the large room.

Professor McGonagall smiled at him. 'There's no need to be afraid, Mister Black. This meeting is not a punishment. It is merely an opportunity for you to tell us if there is anything worrying you that might be preventing you from following the rules and making good decisions.'

Sirius' anxiety calmed a little at her words. He twiddled his thumbs in his lap, trying to decide how to respond. The idea of telling her about his home life made his insides squirm, but he couldn't think of a good excuse.

'In my experience as a professor here at Hogwarts, children who arrive at school and immediately start pushing boundaries have usually had far too many restrictions put on them at home. Does that sound like an accurate assessment to you?' she prompted.

'Yes, Professor.'

'You will find that you have a lot more freedom here at Hogwarts than you might be used to, and it is understandable that you may find that overwhelming and go too far. We have no wish to stop you from being children and having fun; however, the rules that we do have are there for a reason.' She leant forward in her seat. 'While your mischief outside of the Slytherin common room didn't harm anyone, it did create a lot of work for Mr Filch, who has quite enough to do already without students creating more work for him. What you did in Potions, though, was far more dangerous. You could have seriously harmed another student, which could lead to your expulsion. Something I am certain you do not want.'

Sirius' head shot up. 'No, Ma'am.'

The last thing he wanted was to go back home in disgrace. His mother might even kill him if that happened.

'Then I can trust that you will be less impulsive in future?'

Sirius hesitated. She was being so kind and not at all accusing or condemning as he had expected. The last thing he wanted to do was lie to her, and he wasn't sure he could keep a promise to not be impulsive. That was a part of his nature he had never been able to control.

He swallowed the lump in his throat before answering. He felt like he was letting her down. 'I can promise to try, Ma'am, but I can't promise I'll succeed. I've never been very good at controlling my impulses.'

To his surprise, Professor McGonagall smiled at his answer. 'Thank you for your honesty. I am quite satisfied with your promise to try. I believe that you mean it and that you will do your very best from now on.'

Sirius fell a little bit in love with her at that moment. What a truly wonderful woman, he thought. He wished his mother was more like her.

James and Peter were waiting for him outside the office, just as they had promised. Sirius' face broke out in an uncontrollable grin at the sight of his amazing friends. He was feeling lighter than air after his meeting, and their presence only added to his joy.

'Looks like it went well,' James said, grinning back.

'It did, very well. McGoogles is a marvellous woman, and I defy anyone to say otherwise.'

'McGoogles?' Peter said.

'Yes. My McGoogles. I'm going to marry her one day.'

James and Peter burst out laughing.

'You laugh now, my friends, but you'll see. You won't be laughing when you're the best men at our wedding,' Sirius said, using his best aristocratic voice and sticking his nose in the air.

'If you say you're going to marry her, then I believe you, mate,' James said, slapping Sirius on the back. 'Never let it be said that I doubted the charms of the great Sirius Black.'

The three boys returned to the common room and went straight up to their dorm. They all had homework due the next day and knew they could put it off no longer. The noise in the common room was far too much to be able to concentrate, so the dorm was the better option. They were distracted from their goal, though, when they entered the room to find the monumental breakfast sandwich they had left for Remus still sitting on his bedside table. Had he not been back to the room all day?

Sirius scowled at the sandwich as if it had mortally offended him and then turned to James. 'Do you think Remus is okay? I didn't see him in the common room.'

'I'm sure he's fine,' James said with a sigh. 'There's still an hour until curfew. Let's just get this homework done.'

They all settled onto their own beds and pulled out the necessary books and equipment. Over the next two hours, the silence was broken only by the scratching of quills and the odd question being asked to the room at large and answered by whoever could offer help. Sirius glanced up from his work frequently to stare at the door and bite his nails in concern at Remus' prolonged absence.

When they had all finished and put away their books, Sirius felt it was safe to raise the topic again.

'It's well after curfew now, and he's still not back.'

'He could be in the common room,' James said.

'Hang on,' Sirius said, jumping to his feet and dashing from the room. He ran down the stairs and searched the common room with his eyes before returning to the dorm. 'Nope, not there.'

'Okay. Maybe there is something wrong. Do you want to check if he's in the hospital wing?' James asked.

'Yes. Yes, I do.' Sirius said without a second's thought.

James grinned and grabbed the invisibility cloak from his trunk. 'Okay then, let's go.'

The three boys made it to the first floor without a hitch and were halfway down the corridor to the hospital wing when they found themselves cornered by Mrs Norris, the caretaker's cat. She stared at them with her bright yellow eyes, seeming to know they were there despite the cloak.

'Can she see us?' Sirius whispered.

James shushed him.

Mrs Norris mewled loudly, and then sat down and began cleaning herself, as if to say she had plenty of time and was fully prepared to wait them out.

'Let's go in here,' Peter said, moving them towards a door. They entered the room and looked around. It was an unused classroom but didn't seem to have been out of use for long. The furnishings were all still present, there were even books still on the shelves.

'Good idea, Pete. We'll just wait until that blasted cat buggers off, and then we can go find out what's happened to Remus. If it was Snivellus again, I'll make him pay for it,' Sirius said, recalling what the slimy git had done to Remus in the owlery.

A gravelly voice sounded from down the corridor. 'What's that, my pretty? Is it students out of bed? Show me where you saw them.'

'Shit! It's Filch. What are we going to do?' Sirius hissed.

'Look around, see if there's another way out of this room. If ever we needed to find a hidden passage, it's now!' James said.

They all scrambled around the walls, checking anything that could possibly hide a secret entrance.

'Here!' James called quietly.

He was standing next to the blackboard which he had slid to one side, revealing a gap in the wall behind it big enough for a small person to climb in. James climbed in first, hurrying down the passage on his hands and knees to make room for the others. Peter followed him, needing a boost from Sirius to reach the hole, and Sirius entered last, pulling the blackboard back across to cover their exit. They crawled down the narrow passage for several minutes before reaching a dead end.

'Dammit, there's nowhere else to go. What's the point in a secret passage that doesn't lead anywhere?' James said, sounding annoyed.

'We can't go back yet. We don't know how long Filch will wait around for us to come out,' Sirius said.

'I know. We'll have to stay here for a bit.'

Sirius shifted around, trying to find a comfortable position to wait in. Eventually, he settled on just lying down. He pulled his robes off to cushion his head, and the others did the same.

'Well, this is a delightful way to spend a Sunday evening. Do you come here often?' Sirius joked.

'Oh yes. I like nothing more than lying in a dusty, cramped passageway with my closest friends,' James said, laughing.

'Nothing says "a good time" like hiding from an evil caretaker in a filthy hole in the wall,' Peter agreed, chuckling.

-o-o-o-o-

When the wolf woke up, he was lying on something soft. This was new. Opening his eyes, he looked around. He was in a small space, not as cramped as the last place though, and there was an opening in one of the walls. After jumping down from the soft surface, he padded over to the opening and sniffed around, but couldn't smell anything other than his own scent.

Walking out, he found another walled-in space, but there was an opening in the ground and a slope that led down. He walked down the slope and into yet another walled space. There was a fire burning in one wall, and he shied away from the danger. He observed the fire cautiously for a few moments, but it didn't seem to be growing, and he determined that it was safe enough for now. The heat coming off it felt nice against his fur.

He sniffed the air again and caught a whiff of that delicious smell he liked so much. He followed it to a shape carved into the ground. Whatever the smell was, it had gone down there. He scratched at the floor in desperation to get at the smell, but to no avail. It was impossible to break through. He huffed in annoyance.

The wolf turned his attention back to his new surroundings. The bigger space was a welcome change, but he wondered how he had gotten there. Whatever it was that kept moving him while he slept was very good at it. He spent some time wandering around, smelling everything and marking his territory, before curling up in front of the fire. He kept one eye open to make sure the flames remained safe, but otherwise just enjoyed the pleasant heat. It made a nice change from the cold stone of his previous cage.

When he began to feel the pull of sleep, he padded back up to the soft place he had woken up. Jumping up, he circled a few times, digging his claws into the squishy surface until he had it just right and then he curled up to sleep. He hoped he would still be there when he woke up the next day.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius groaned. His back was killing him. He rolled over and wondered why his bed felt like cold stone instead of the soft Hogwarts' mattress.

'James? Did you do something to my bed, you git?'

'No mate, you're not in your bed. None of us are. We must have fallen asleep in the passage last night.'

Sirius opened his eyes and looked around at the pitch-black darkness. James was right.

'Shit! What time is it?'

'No idea, can't see a thing.'

'Okay, let's get out of here.'

Sirius rolled onto his stomach and clambered onto his hands and knees. He began crawling backwards down the tunnel, and the others followed suit.

'Merlin, I am so sore,' Peter grumbled. 'Let's never spend the night on a stone floor again.'

'That is the best idea you've ever had. I completely agree,' Sirius said, just as his feet hit the back of the blackboard. 'Hope Filch has gone.' He reached behind him to push the blackboard to the side and then jumped down out of the hole and quickly looked around. The room was empty. Thank Merlin.

'No one here. Looks like we got away with it.'

Peter jumped down, followed by James, who checked his watch.

'Maybe not. It's nine o'clock. We're half an hour late for Herbology.'

'Shit! We are going to be in so much trouble,' Sirius said, thinking about the promise he had made to McGonagall the day before. Sneaking out after curfew and falling asleep in a hidden hole in the wall could not be considered good decisions, by any definition. He had let her down already.

'What should we do?' Peter asked. 'Go to Herbology or skip it and hope no one notices?'

'We can't go to class like this. Look at the state of us,' Sirius said, looking down with disgust at his own filthy clothes and hands. 'I don't know about you two, but I definitely want a shower.'

'Me too.' James said, 'That's two votes for skipping. Let's go.'

They made it back to their dorm without incident. The Fat Lady gave them an odd look for their appearance, but she allowed them through without comment. Remus' sandwich was still sitting by his bed. He can't have been back to the room at all. If he had been, surely he would have disposed of it?

They all showered and put on clean clothes, before crowding onto James' bed to brainstorm excuses in case their absence had been noticed.

'Can't we just say we all overslept?' Peter asked.

'No, I don't think so. They would have checked the dorm, wouldn't they?' Sirius said.

'Yeah, probably. Best not to risk it,' James said. 'I vote we just tell the truth: Remus didn't come back before curfew, and we were worried about him. We were afraid of being caught out of bed and hid from Filch and fell asleep.'

'They can't be mad at us for being worried about a friend, can they?' Peter said.

'It might work, but won't it get Remus into trouble too?' Sirius said.

'Mate, he's been missing for over twenty-four hours. If he isn't in class and they don't know where he is, then I think we need to tell someone at this point.'

Sirius thought back to the smashed potions bottle and hoped Remus hadn't overdosed on something and wasn't lying close to death in an abandoned classroom somewhere.

'Yeah, maybe you're right,' he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I hope you're not too mad at me that they're not friends yet, I swear it's not my fault, they won't listen to me at all XD
> 
> I have a question, I've just finished writing chapter 16, and I noticed that the total word count so far is just shy of the total word count for Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone, and I'm only on the 20th September. It made me wonder if the pacing is too slow. Do you like reading the little details of their lessons? Would you rather I sped things up a little?


	11. Chapter 10

Monday, 6th September 1971

For the first time he could remember, Remus woke up on the morning after the full moon on his back in bed, instead of on his stomach on the hard floor, and he didn't feel too bad either. He opened his eyes to confirm what he suspected. Yes, Madam Pomfrey had brought him back to the little room in the hospital wing while he was unconscious. He wasn't too concerned about it. She knew not to touch his skin.

Remus heard footsteps approaching, his hearing still over-sensitive so soon after the moon, and he hauled himself to a sitting position and looked towards the door.

'Ah, good. You're awake,' Madam Pomfrey said as she walked in. 'How do you feel?'

'Tired, but not too bad, a bit sore. Were there any injuries?' Remus asked, his voice croaky from the screaming.

'Nothing big. You tore your fingernails, and there were scratches around the trapdoor this morning. I think the wolf tried to get out.'

'Probably smelled you,' Remus said.

'Yes, that's what I thought. I won't come through the trapdoor in future. There were no other injuries, though. Is that normal?'

'Not at all. I'm usually all torn up.'

Madam Pomfrey frowned. 'I wonder why it was different. If we can figure it out, then we might be able to stop you from being hurt every month.'

Remus thought he knew the answer. The wolf liked the bigger space, but saying so would lead to questions about his accommodations at home, and he didn't want to make his parents look bad.

'I don't know,' he said instead.

'Not to worry. Are you hungry?'

'Starving, but my throat is on fire.'

'Yes, you said that happened. I've been researching, and I've found something to help with the malnutrition. And it should be easy to swallow, even with a sore throat.'

She hurried out of the room and returned a minute later with a full glass of frothy brown liquid and a straw.

'I spoke with Breen, and he told me you're fond of chocolate, is that right?'

Remus grinned and nodded.

'This is a nutrition potion. It has everything in it that your body needs, and it tastes like a chocolate milkshake. I made it nice and cold to soothe your throat.'

Remus licked his lips and leaned forward to take the glass. He glanced at Madam Pomfrey before clasping his lips around the end of the straw and sucking the thick liquid into his mouth. The rich, creamy flavour burst on his tongue, and he swallowed, allowing the icy drink to coat his raw throat with relief. Not only did it taste divine, but it eased the pain as it went down. Madam Pomfrey earned his undying gratitude at that moment.

He grinned up at her. 'It's wonderful. Thank you.'

Madam Pomfrey's face broke out into a beautiful smile. 'I'm so pleased. I want you to drink a full glass with breakfast every morning until I say otherwise. We need to build your strength up. I've given Breen the recipe.'

'I will, I promise.'

'Good. Now, finish that off and then get some more sleep.'

'Yes. Ma'am,' Remus said, giving her a salute.

'Cheeky boy,' she said, smiling.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius' mouth felt dry as a desert as he approached the Transfiguration classroom, and his heart was trying to escape his chest. On his right, James chewed at his lip, and on his left, Peter was breathing heavily. His friends seemed just as nervous as him.

Professor McGonagall glanced up at their entrance, her concerned expression morphing into a glare at the sight of them. She said nothing, merely gesturing for them to find a seat before waving her wand and conjuring a silver cat. She whispered a few words to the animal before the cat bounded away and Professor McGonagall returned her attention to the class.

Sirius noted Remus' absence from the room, and his concern for the boy deepened. Where was he? He wanted to ask James what he thought, but had the unusual foresight to realise talking during the lesson with McGonagall already furious at them would do him no favours, so he kept his mouth shut and tried to concentrate.

'Good morning, class,' Professor McGonagall began. 'For the first half of this double period, we'll be working on the theory behind changing an object's material, but I'm sure you'll be delighted to learn that the second half of the lesson will be practical.'

A few students cheered, and McGonagall's lips twitched in an almost-smile. 'But before you begin learning the art of transfiguration, you must first learn how to fix your mistakes. Which is why you will be learning the spell to revert a transfigured object back to its original state. The spell works the same for a successful transfiguration and a partial transfiguration, so I'm sure you will all get a lot of use out of it over the next few years.'

The class worked on theory for an hour before Professor McGonagall asked everyone to take out their wands for the practical part of the lesson, resulting in a moment of shuffling and rummaging before she was able to continue.

'The incantation for this spell is Reparifarge, and the wand movement is thus.' She waved her wand in a complicated series of twists and flourishes, and the class attempted to copy her. 'Practice the incantation and wand movement for a few minutes while I hand out some objects for you to test yourselves on.'

She proceeded to walk around the room placing a partially transfigured item on each student's desk. Sirius received a misshapen glass bowl with a metallic sheen and half-formed handles sticking out of the bottom.

The students got started, filling the classroom with shouted variations of the word "Reparifarge" and frantic wand waving. Sirius tried unsuccessfully to have any effect on his monstrosity that called itself tableware, and James and Peter were faring no better. A quick glance around the classroom soothed his injured pride. Most of the other students also seemed to be struggling.

It took another half an hour before Sirius managed to alter his bowl-goblet mishmash, and by that point, several other students had also succeeded. Still, when he gazed down at the perfect red glass bowl on his desk, he felt a surge of pride.

'Well done, mate,' James said, slapping him on the back before turning back to his own efforts with renewed vigour.

By the end of the lesson, almost every student had reverted their object at least once, and most had done so multiple times. Those that hadn't yet mastered the spell, which included Peter, were told to take their item back with them and practise for homework. No one would be allowed to begin transfiguring until they could cast Reparifarge.

Professor McGonagall dismissed the class before turning to the corner where Sirius and his friends were seated. 'Misters Black, Potter and Pettigrew, stay behind, I need to have a word with you three.'

'Ooh,' the rest of the students chorused. 'Someone's in trouble!'

The three boys waited while the rest of the class filed out before approaching the teacher's desk. She glowered at them the entire time. A heavy blanket of shame descended on Sirius, crushing the pride from earlier, and he swallowed, hard.

'All three of you were missing from your first class this morning,' she snapped. 'When I checked your dorm, your beds had not been slept in. We searched the castle from top to bottom, and you were nowhere to be found. What do you have to say about this?' She towered over them, glaring down, her face red with fury.

Sirius glanced at his friends, but seeing neither of them making any attempt to speak, he slipped on his Pureblood-heir-to-a-Noble-House persona, perfected through many years of harsh tutoring, and stepped forward.

'Ma'am, we beg your forgiveness,' he said with a bow. 'We never intended to miss Herbology this morning, and we do have an explanation if you would grant us the opportunity to tell it. The story is a long one.'

'I'm listening,' she said, leaning back against her desk and crossing her arms. Her face was still grim, but a shade less red. Sirius took that as a good sign.

'Thank you. Your generosity is most appreciated...'

Professor McGonagall held up a hand, interrupting him. 'Yes. That's quite enough of the airs and graces. Just tell me what happened.'

Sirius inclined his head. 'Sorry, Ma'am. As I was saying, yesterday morning, James, Peter and I attempted to wake Remus for breakfast, but he wouldn't wake up, so we decided to bring him some food back from the Great Hall. He never seems to eat, you see. We've been quite worried about him, haven't we?' Sirius nudged James and Peter on either side of him with his elbows, and they both agreed.

'Is this relevant, Mister Black?' Professor McGonagall asked, pursing her lips at what she clearly thought was time-wasting.

'Yes, Ma'am,' Sirius said, nodding. 'Anyway, when we returned, Remus had already left, so we left the food on his bedside table for him and went out to explore the castle. We wanted to find the best routes to class, you see.'

'Yes, I'm sure that's the reason,' Professor McGonagall said, her tone wry.

Sirius chose to ignore that. 'We returned to the dorm about an hour before curfew, and the food we left for Remus was still there. We judged that to mean he hadn't been back to the room all day. He seems the type to clean up that kind of thing, don't you think?'

'That would seem an accurate assessment of his personality, yes.'

'Right.' Sirius nodded firmly. 'So, it still being there worried us. But it was still an hour until curfew, so we settled down to do our homework.'

Professor McGonagall raised a sceptical eyebrow. 'Homework?'

Sirius eyes widened at her disbelieving tone. 'Yes. We spent the evening doing our homework. I'm offended that you don't believe me,' Sirius said, clutching at his chest. He was really getting into his role, and he could see James trying not to laugh out of the corner of his eye, spurring him on.

'Alright,' Professor McGonagall said, holding up both hands in surrender, 'I believe you. Please continue.'

'Yes, Ma'am. Curfew came and went, and Remus still hadn't returned. We found his continued absence alarming, especially since we hadn't seen him all day. And so, we resolved to check the hospital wing.'

Professor McGonagall sighed. 'You did not think to alert a prefect?'

Sirius slapped the heel of his hand to his forehead. 'Alas! We did not. We would have avoided this whole mess, had we only thought of that solution.'

Sirius saw McGonagall's mouth twitch, giving him the courage to continue.

'We were almost at the hospital wing when we were startled by the caretaker's cat. I must admit, we panicked. We knew Mr Filch wouldn't listen to our explanation, as you so kindly have, and so we ran and hid inside a classroom. When we heard Mr Filch coming, we scrambled for somewhere to hide and discovered a hidden passage behind the blackboard. We crawled inside and down the tunnel, but it was a dead end. We were trapped.' Sirius flung his arms into the air to emphasise the dire nature of the situation they had found themselves in.

'And so you did the only sensible thing left to you and crawled out to face your punishment,' Professor McGonagall said, arching an eyebrow again.

'I am afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you again,' Sirius said, shaking his head sadly while gazing at the floor. He looked back up at Professor McGonagall and continued, 'We were scared, you see? We stayed in the passage to wait for Mr Filch to leave, and we fell asleep.'

'I see. And this morning?'

'By the time we awoke, it was nine o'clock, and we were filthy from the passageway. We decided it'd be best to not disrupt the class by turning up half an hour late in such a state, and we returned to our dorm to shower and change. But, Professor, the food we left for Remus was still there. I don't wish to get him into any trouble, but I'm awfully worried. He must have been out all night too, and he wasn't in class.' Sirius stared up at the professor with wide, pleading eyes, begging her silently to take his concern seriously.

'Mister Lupin is in the hospital wing. I understand he is fine and will be released this evening. I'm afraid I can't discuss the details with you. Medical records are confidential.'

'But he's okay?' Sirius asked, his tone hopeful. He smiled. 'That's such a relief, thank you for telling us.'

'You're welcome. Your concern for your dorm mate's welfare is commendable. However, the three of you made a series of bad, impulsive, decisions. Which caused a lot of problems for the staff. Our entire morning was disrupted searching for you, and that must be addressed. Fifty points from each of you,' she said, looking pained. 'And detention. You may go.'

'Thank you, Ma'am,' Sirius said with another bow, 'and we are very sorry.'

'I believe you,' she said.

They left the classroom and made it halfway down the corridor before James gave in to his desire to laugh.

'Mate!' he wheezed. 'You were brilliant! She was so scary, and you just went for it. You weren't even phased!'

'Scary? Ha! You haven't seen scary until you've faced down my mother. That was nothing,' Sirius said, laughing.

-o-o-o-o-

Remus was sitting up in bed eating his lunch and enjoying the view of the Black Lake through his window when a knock sounded on the door of his hospital room.

'Come in,' he called and almost choked on his sandwich when Professor McGonagall walked in instead of Madam Pomfrey. Though, when he thought about it, Madam Pomfrey didn't knock.

'Good afternoon, Mister Lupin. How are you feeling?'

'I'm okay, thank you, Professor.'

'I'm glad to hear it. Madam Pomfrey tells me you had a good night?'

'Yes, much better than usual,' he said, feeling his face warm. He wasn't used to discussing his lycanthropy with anyone but his mum. It was embarrassing.

'That is good to hear, I hope it continues.' She conjured a chair beside his bed and sat down. 'I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here. I'm afraid we have a bit of a problem.'

Remus' heart sank into his stomach. Had they decided he was too much hassle after all?

'Don't look so worried. You're not about to be kicked out,' she said as if reading his mind. 'The problem is your dorm mates. Your disappearance last night worried them, and they went looking for you. Due to a series of poor decisions, they stayed out all night and missed their first class this morning. I've told them you were in the hospital wing all night, so you'll need to think of a reason for that because they will ask.'

Remus nodded, his mind already throwing up and dismissing potential excuses for his hospital stay.

'And from now on, make sure you give them an excuse before you leave.'

'I will. I'm sorry for causing so much trouble. I didn't think they'd care. We're not exactly friends.'

'Maybe you should give them a chance. They seem to like you,' McGonagall said with a smile.

'Maybe,' Remus said, tapping his fingers on the mattress next to him. 'Professor, while you're here, can I ask a question?'

'You may always ask questions,' she said, inclining her head.

Remus smiled his thanks. 'In the first Transfiguration lesson, you said our magical cores work like an immune system. I wondered if that meant mine would have less power available because it's constantly fighting the lycanthropy?'

Professor McGonagall smiled. 'Actually, I think the opposite will be true. Your magical core has been regularly exercised fighting the lycanthropy for several years. I'd not be surprised to find you were much more powerful than your peers.'

Remus grinned. 'Really?'

'Yes,' Professor McGonagall said, nodding, 'but don't go testing that theory on seventh-year spells. We don't want any accidents.'

Remus shook his head. 'No, Professor.'

'Good boy. Right, I'll leave you to rest now.' She stood up and vanished her chair before leaving Remus alone in the hospital room.

Remus lay in bed thinking over what he'd been told. He was worried about having to make excuses to his dorm-mates every month. Wouldn't that just draw more attention to his absences? If he varied his excuses, though, it might help. Sometimes he could be sick, sometimes a family member. His mum would be best. She was a muggle, so he could say she had some muggle illness that involved flare-ups of some kind. Then there could be an occasional death in the family, or big event he had to attend. No one knew he didn't have contact with any family except his parents.

Another option tried to make itself heard. It had been there for a while now, hidden behind a locked door in his mind. But it was becoming more insistent, rattling the door on its hinges and begging to be released. He let it out to examine it properly. The option of becoming their friend.

They definitely wanted to be his friend. He was sure of that now. And he wanted it too, so that was the first obstacle out of the way. The second obstacle, his lycanthropy, was much harder to overcome. He had never needed to make such an important decision before, and he wasn't sure how to go about it. This was too important to leave to gut instinct or emotion. It needed a more intellectual approach. Notes or graphs, some way to organise his thoughts. He got out of bed and grabbed some parchment and a quill from his bag, and a textbook to rest against.

Comfortably propped up, he rested the textbook with parchment against his bent knees and drew a line down the centre to make two columns. He labelled them "pros and cons of befriending my dorm-mates" and settled down to think it through.

He spent over an hour on his list, thinking hard about every aspect of the situation. When he was finished, he had several points in both columns, and he looked them over and weighted each one on a scale of 1: unimportant - 5: very important.

_Pros_

_Having friends would be nice - 2_

_They seem fun - 1_

_Sirius would be less suspicious of me - 5_

_If they did find out, they might be okay with it - 5_

_I stand out more if I'm always alone - 4_

_Cons_

_They would take more notice of when I'm gone - 5_

_Less chance of them finding out if we're not friends - 5_

_Would be a distraction from schoolwork - 3_

He added up the totals and was happy to find that the pros won. His face broke out in a stupid smile, and his stomach churned with excitement. He'd never had a real friend before, and he was about to have three.

-o-o-o-o-

'Good Afternoon and welcome to your first Charms class. My name is Professor Flitwick.'

The tiny professor stood atop a stack of books in order to be seen by those at the back of the classroom, and Sirius was struggling to hold back his laughter at the sight.

'Today, you will be learning one of the easiest charms to master, the wand lighting charm. The reason it's so easy is that there's no wand movement, just an incantation. Lumos.' Professor Flitwick held his wand aloft so everyone could see the bright yellow glow at the tip.

James bent close to Sirius' ear. 'Now that would have been useful last night,' he whispered.

'I'm sure it'll be just as useful in future excursions,' Sirius whispered back, grinning.

James returned his grin. 'Undoubtedly.'

The class practised the spell, and its counter, Nox, until everyone had them mastered, which didn't take very long, and then Professor Flitwick led them into a practice area behind his classroom, telling them to split into teams of three.

The practice area was clearly enchanted to fit inside the space. It was enormous.

'For this lesson, I've created several courses, each one an identical maze. Inside the mazes, the pathways are blocked by doors, which can only be opened by shining wand light onto the runes etched on them. Your task is to navigate the maze, collecting the three tokens contained within.' He held up a golden-coloured disk. 'You will only be able to open one door at a time, and to close each door, you must Nox your wand. The team that returns first will receive twenty house points to each member. Please choose a maze and prepare to begin.'

Once the teams had all moved to an entrance, Professor Flitwick counted them in and the race began.

Sirius' team were not the first to finish, which was a shame. The points would have gone a long way towards restoring what they'd lost over the past few days.

'Who cares about house points?' James said when Sirius mentioned that fact. 'They're just a way to make students pressure each other into following rules. Meaningless, really.'

Sirius thought about it and had to agree. That epiphany went a long way towards easing his guilt about losing Gryffindor so many points.

Defence Against the Dark Arts, the final lesson of the day, was spectacular. Shortly after the class began, Professor Hawthorne announced they would be studying acromantula, and Emhio shifted into one. The sudden appearance of a giant spider in the classroom caused half the class, including Peter, to leap from their seats squealing and dash to the back of the room. The remaining students dissolved into fits of laughter at their reaction.

Once Professor Hawthorne had managed to calm them down and restore order to the classroom, they examined the creature up close and discussed the best ways to attack to get through its defences and survive an encounter. Its most vulnerable point was the underside of its abdomen, and the best tactic was to wait for it to rear up to attack and then fire a slashing or burning spell at its belly.

Overall Sirius found the lesson interesting; Peter did not agree.

'That was horrifying. I'm going to have terrible nightmares tonight,' he said as they left the class, still shaking with nerves.

'Don't worry, mate, we'll keep the acromantula out of the dorm,' Sirius said with a laugh.

-o-o-o-o-

Remus had been released from the hospital wing an hour earlier and, feeling energised from Madam Pomfrey's incredible nutrition potion, had gone straight to an unused classroom to practise his transfiguration. He stood in the room, staring proudly at the fruits of his labour after succeeding in transfiguring all of his school books different colours by using his bag as the container. He repeated the process to revert them to their original state and packed away to return to the dorm.

Remus was looking forward to seeing his dorm mates after making the decision to befriend them, and he was in high spirits from his success when he reached the room they all shared. Sirius was lounging on his bed, and James and Peter were sitting together on Peter's bed. It looked like James was helping Peter with a spell.

'You're back!' Sirius yelled, jumping to his feet and rushing over so fast that Remus took a step backwards. He stopped dead inches away from him. 'Hey, it's okay. I'm not going to touch you,' Sirius said, holding up his hands. 'Are you okay? McGoogles said you were in the hospital wing.'

'Yeah, I'm fine,' Remus said. Then he frowned. 'Wait. McGoogles?'

James and Peter both laughed at his confusion. 'That's Sirius' new nickname for McGonagall. Apparently, he's going to marry her,' James said.

Sirius nodded with enthusiasm. It made him look a little insane.

'So what was wrong with you then? McGonagall wouldn't tell us,' Peter asked.

'Was it an overdose?' Sirius blurted.

Remus was shocked and reacted instinctively in defence. 'What? No! Why the hell would you think that?'

'Um. Well. When we found you in that classroom, you were flat out in that chair and there was an empty potion bottle...'

'So you jumped to the conclusion that I'm a potion addict?' Remus interrupted.

Realising just how observant Sirius was frightened him. He noticed tiny details that others would overlook and put them together to create a picture. On this occasion, he was way off the mark, but how long would it be before he connected the right clues and reached the right answer? His fear fed off his desire for friendship and turned to anger.

'Fuck you, Black.'

He stomped over to his bed and pulled the curtains around himself. All his positive feelings had evaporated. There was nothing left but rage, and he had no outlet for it. It wasn't fair that he had to be so careful. Fucking hell, it wasn't fair that he was a werewolf in the first place and had to suffer such horrendous pain every month, but the fact that on top of everything he couldn't even risk having a friend? It was more than unfair; it was downright cruel.

He took a deep breath to try to calm himself, but he kept hearing Sirius' voice in his head asking, "Was it an overdose?" and he wanted to scream. In the back of his mind, he knew he needed to calm down. He couldn't release his fury the way he had at home, couldn't let them see the Beast inside.

It was easy to slip into a meditative state in the end. The months of practising paid off, and his mindscape opened to him swiftly and pulled him in. He lost track of time as he explored the rooms and corridors, easing his rage back inside its prison and locking it away to protect himself before eventually falling into a peaceful slumber.


	12. Chapter 11

Tuesday, 7th September 1971

Sirius woke the next morning with a heavy head and scratchy, tender eyes after lying awake much of the night hating himself for his total fucking lack of impulse control. Why did he find thinking before speaking so difficult? Everyone else managed it without a problem. Remus had been talking to him, friendly, and he had to blurt out a stupid, fucking offensive question and piss him off. He was an idiot!

Granted, as fuck-ups went, it didn’t quite reach the heady heights of snubbing the very person he was waiting for because he didn’t recognise him, but it came a close second. His last thought before falling asleep had been a memory, the expression of sheer delight on Remus’ face when presented with chocolate cake. If anything could win him back, Sirius thought, it was chocolate.

In the Great Hall an hour and a half later, Sirius encountered a problem with his plan. Hogwarts didn’t provide much in the way of chocolate delicacies for breakfast. He eyed the table. Plenty of meat, cereals and fruit, but not a whole lot of cocoa-based delights. The chocolate croissants might be good enough, though. They were freshly baked, and when he reached over with a napkin-covered hand to take a couple, he discovered they were still warm.

‘I’ll see you in Charms,’ he told James and Peter as he got to his feet and pulled his bag onto his shoulder. ‘I want to speak to Remus before class.’

Sirius made his way to the Charms corridor, planning to wait around in the hope of catching Remus before he went to class, and luck was on his side. A few minutes after Sirius arrived, Remus rounded the corner.

‘Remus. Hi,’ he called to attract his attention. Remus stopped and gazed at him expectantly. ‘Look, I’m sorry about last night. Sometimes I say things without thinking. Well, a lot of the time. Okay, I basically never think.’ Sirius ran his hand through his hair. This wasn’t going well at all. What now? Right, chocolate. ‘I brought you some breakfast. Another peace offering? I’m afraid they don’t serve cake at breakfast, but these have chocolate.’ He held out the two croissants wrapped in napkins. Remus looked at them for a moment before his eyes flicked back up to Sirius’.

‘Thanks, but I’m not hungry.’

Sirius didn’t know what to say to that. How could he not be hungry? Where was he getting food if he never went to the hall? Looking at him closely in the bright sunlight shining in through the many windows, Sirius saw that he looked gaunt and tired, with pale skin and clearly defined bags under his eyes. His robes hung loosely on his body, and his hands had a slight tremor. 

‘Did you already eat?’ he asked.

Remus nodded. ‘Yeah.’

Sirius stared at him for a moment. ‘How? I never see you in the Great Hall.’

Remus adjusted his bag on his shoulder and fiddled with the strap. ‘The headmaster lets me eat in the kitchen because of my phobia. He thought it was unfair to make me eat in the hall.’

‘Oh. We thought you had an eating disorder or something because you never seemed to eat anything.’

Remus’ eyes widened. ‘You talked about me?’

‘Erm. Yes? Just because we were worried about you. We weren’t being mean or anything.’ Sirius was nervous now. Had he put his foot in it again? 

Remus sighed. ‘Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t appreciate being studied and discussed like some interesting new creature that’s recently been discovered.’

Sirius was aghast. ‘Merlin, no! It wasn’t like that at all.’

‘I don’t really care, Sirius. Just leave me alone, okay? And stop watching me all the time.’ 

With that, Remus spun on his heels and hurried away towards the Charms classroom, leaving Sirius standing at the end of the corridor with his mouth hanging open, lost for words.

-o-o-o-o-

Utterly defeated. Remus could think of no better way to describe the complex mixture of emotions he was feeling as he took his seat in Charms. He must have been delirious the day before, thinking having friends would be safe. It would never be safe. Getting close to people was too risky. One person learning his secret would be all it took for him to be kicked out of school. And the opportunity Dumbledore had given him was a gift. He could not, would not, waste it.

Lily pulled out the chair next to him and sat down, drawing him from his thoughts. Remus smiled at her in greeting. He felt safe with her. She didn’t nose into his business or ask difficult questions that he couldn’t answer, and she respected his boundaries. 

‘Hi, Remus, I noticed you weren’t in class yesterday, so I made copies of all my notes for you. Here.’ She slid a pile of parchment across the table to him. ‘I hope you’re okay?’

‘I’m fine, thank you,’ Remus said. He waited, wondering if further questions about his absence would come next and prove his thoughts wrong. Would he have to end this potential friendship too?

‘Good. You didn’t miss much in Herbology. We were planting dittany, but everything you need to know is in there.’ She pointed at the notes. 

Remus picked up the pile of parchment and flicked through the pages as Lily continued to talk about the lessons he had missed. 

‘I don’t know how you feel about spiders, but you might be glad you missed Defence yesterday. Emhio turned into an acromantula; it was awful,’ she said with a delicate shudder. Remus didn’t mind spiders and thought it sounded fascinating, but he stayed silent. ‘We learned reparifarge in Transfiguration, the spell to revert something to its original state?’ 

Remus nodded that he understood. 

‘You might want to speak to Professor McGonagall and get an item to practise on. It seemed important that we can do it. Oh, and it’s a shame you missed Charms. We learned the wand lighting spell and then had to complete a maze to practise it. It was really fun, but I’m sure you’ll be able to manage that one with just the notes. It’s not hard,’ she said all in one breath before offering him a bright smile and tucking her hair behind her ear.

Remus felt a surge of pure joy. She had glossed right over the reason for his hospital stay and focused instead on helping him catch up on what he missed. It was exactly what he needed from a friend. ‘Thanks, Lily. This is amazing. I really appreciate it,’

‘It’s no problem, I hope you’d do the same for me if I had to miss class,’ she said, smirking at him.

‘Absolutely,’ he said, chuckling at the blatant hint.

‘Good morning, class,’ Professor Flitwick said over the noise of the chattering students. He paused while they all settled down and turned their attention to him. ‘Today’s lesson is the Flagrate charm. It’s a wonderful spell for perfecting one’s aim and wand control, and I think you’ll find it a lot of fun. It allows you to draw on surfaces with a non-damaging flame, like so.’

Professor Flitwick demonstrated the charm by drawing an impressively accurate picture of a dragon on the blackboard. The flames gave the image an ethereal quality that Remus thought beautiful. 

The students enjoyed themselves drawing words and pictures all over the classroom. Professor Flitwick was quick to vanish anything rude but didn’t bother to punish the casters, instead complimenting them on their spell work. Lily was drawing flowers on everything with a cheerful smile on her face and Remus practised writing words after realising the spell would be a fantastic way of leaving a message to go with his little bit of mischief. By the end of the lesson, everyone was fairly competent at the charm, and Professor Flitwick gave the entire class five house points for their hard work.

-o-o-o-o-

Lounging on his bed, full and lethargic after lunch, Sirius’ mind returned to the problem of Remus. He had discussed their conversation that morning with James and Peter. They were both as surprised as him and agreed it was unfair to accuse Sirius of treating him like a fascinating new creature when they were just worried about him. But Peter pointed out that if that’s how Remus felt, then they should back off.

Sirius didn’t want to back off, he wanted Remus’ friendship. It had been hard watching him get along so well with that Evans girl in Charms. Then she and Remus worked together planting shrivelfigs in Herbology and sat together again in Defence while they studied Ashwinders. It was unbearable. What did she have that Sirius didn’t? He had to find out.

‘Sirius, will you stop sulking about Remus and get over here? We need your help,’ James called from where he and Peter were crouched on the floor with a box of soap and a bucket of frogspawn. James had written to his father to acquire the items, and his father had sent them immediately, along with a note telling him not to, under any circumstances, tell his mother. Sirius was not jealous of James because of his father, not at all.

‘I’m not sulking, I’m thinking, you git,’ Sirius said, launching himself off the bed to tackle James to the floor and tickle him mercilessly.

‘Get off,’ James cried in between bouts of uncontrollable laughter. ‘We don’t have time. Remus could come back at any moment.’ 

Sirius stopped and sat up, but remained on top of James, straddling his thighs and pinning him to the ground. ‘Don’t you see? That’s why we need him to be our friend. Then we wouldn’t have to worry about him walking in when we’re planning stuff.’ 

‘I don’t know, mate. He doesn’t really seem like the mischief-making type to me,’ James said, straightening his glasses.

‘Maybe he wouldn’t join in, but at least he wouldn’t tell.’

‘He told you to leave him alone though. We can’t force him to be our friend,’ Peter said. 

Sirius frowned. ‘No. We can’t. But we can make him want to be.’

James sighed. ‘You already tried that, it didn’t work.’

‘No, I just ruined it by not keeping my mouth shut. I just need to stop talking too much.’

‘Well, good luck with that,’ James said, rolling his eyes. ‘Now are you going to help or not?’

‘Sure. Show me what to do,’ Sirius said.

‘You’ll have to let me up first,’ James said, waving his hand to indicate his legs still trapped beneath Sirius’ ass.

-o-o-o-o-

  
  


Wednesday, 8th September 1971, 1:30pm

Standing outside in the middle of the training grounds next to a broom, Remus shivered. Not from the temperature—it was a fairly warm afternoon, and the sky was a brilliant clear blue—but from nerves.

‘Okay, everyone. Stand next to your brooms, hold your hand over them and say, “Up,”’ said Madam Hooch.

Remus did as instructed, and his broom twitched a little but otherwise didn’t move. Opposite him, Sirius and James’ brooms both shot into their hands on their first attempt, and they stood holding them and smirking round at the other students. Peter, however, didn’t seem to be having any more luck than Remus. Lily was to his left, and her broom bounced twice before changing its mind and staying put.

Trying again, Remus held his hand out and, using a firm voice, said, ‘Up!’ To his amazement, the broom leapt into his hand with so much force that he staggered backwards a little and Lily giggled.

Madam Hooch showed them how to mount their brooms and marched down the lines of students, correcting their holds and making sure they were seated properly, before telling them to push off gently, rise a few feet and then lean forward to land. 

Remus’ heart rate sped up at the instruction. The one trait he and the wolf shared was a dislike for heights. Well, not heights exactly. More a dislike for the potential of falling and splattering on the ground. He considered this to be a sensible fear and couldn’t understand why more people didn’t share it.

Remus hesitated and glanced around at the other students. Lily had already risen into the air beside him, and the sound of her mad giggling floated down from above. Sirius and James were in the air and zooming around as if born to fly. Show-offs. Madam Hooch yelled at them to come down and blew her whistle. The high-pitched sound hurt Remus’ ears, and he winced.

After taking a deep-breath to steady his nerves, he gathered his courage and pushed off. Remus rose into the air slowly, hovered a few feet above the ground and leant forward to descend. Much to his relief, the broom brought him to a gentle stop at ground level, and he dismounted with a grateful sigh. It was to be short-lived, though, for the next task was to reach a height of ten feet, fly in a straight line to the other end of the training ring and then land. Remus gulped.

Lining up with everyone else, Remus manoeuvred himself to stand behind James and in front of Lily. Both knew of his “phobia,” and he trusted them to keep their distance. He watched as each student, in turn, took to the air and completed the run. Some were more competent than others. Unlike the other classes, in this one, it was easy to tell the muggle-born from the pure-blood. The pure-bloods acted confident and comfortable on the back of a broom, most likely having flown before. The muggle-borns behaved more cautiously, taking their time to get accustomed to the strangeness of riding a broom instead of sweeping the floor with it.

Remus gaped in awe as first Sirius shot across the sky, followed closely by James, who attempted to over-take him and almost managed it. And then it was his turn. He took a deep, steadying breath, mounted his broom and pushed off. As he rose into the sky, he kept his eyes focused on the horizon, chanting to himself not to look down.

The problem started when he reached the specified height and needed to accelerate. In the process of leaning forward, he caught sight of the ground and realised just how far away it was. His head spun and black specks appeared at the corner of his eyes. He leant further forward in an attempt to stay on the broom. It was most unfortunate that the broom took this as a signal to speed up. The ground rushing past at such a great speed finished the job and Remus fell.

He hit the ground with a loud thump and a sickening crack. Familiar pain shot through his wrist, and he knew it was broken. He wasn’t too concerned about it; it would be fine in half an hour. That was the problem. Everyone saw him fall. They would expect injuries. To make matters worse, the watching students were running towards him to see if he was okay.

‘Hey back off! Don’t touch him!’ 

The voice belonged to Sirius. Thank Merlin, he was keeping the others away. 

Sirius crouched down next to him, positioning himself in Remus’ line of sight but at a comfortable distance.

‘Hey. Are you alright, mate?’ he asked, his face creased with concern.

‘Yeah, I think so.’ 

‘Can you stand? I think you should go to the hospital wing. You fell a long way.’

‘Alright, everyone. Give him some room,’ Madam Hooch said, huffing for breath after hurrying across the grass. ‘Are you injured, Mister Lupin?’ 

‘Just my wrist, I think, Professor.’ 

‘Well, that’s not so bad. Madam Pomfrey will have you fixed up in no time. Mister Black, help him to the hospital wing. The rest of you, back to flying.’

Sirius nodded at Madam Hooch but made no move towards Remus, who was trying to haul himself to his feet.

‘Well, help him up then, boy.’

‘No, Ma’am,’ Sirius said, turning his head to the professor with a serious expression on his face. ‘Remus doesn’t like to be touched. He’ll say if he wants me to help.’

Remus nodded. ‘He’s right, professor. I’d rather do it myself.’

Sirius beamed at the confirmation.

When he was finally upright, they started towards the school. 

‘You don’t have to come, you know? I can manage,’ Remus said, thinking it would be easier to hide the healing if Sirius left now.

‘I better had. You might have a head injury and pass out on the way there or something.’

Remus thought that unlikely, given his lycanthropy, but didn’t argue.

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Sirius cleared his throat and said, ‘Just in case. If you did pass out, would you want me to catch you or just let you fall?’

Remus turned his head sharply, thinking Sirius was taking the piss, but his face was sincere.

‘Just let me fall,’ Remus said.

‘Right,’ Sirius said, and he nodded. ‘While I’ve got you here, captive so to speak.’ Sirius smirked at him before turning his head down to gaze at his feet while they walked. ‘I wanted to say, I’m really sorry for making you feel like an interesting creature being studied. I feel like a complete dick, and I promise to back off and leave you alone.’ 

The words came out in a garbled rush, but Remus understood.

‘Thank you, Sirius. I appreciate that.’ 

Sirius looked up. Remus smiled at him and Sirius grinned like a buffoon. They were almost at the hospital wing, which was good because Remus could already feel his wrist healing and Sirius was now staring at it with a confused expression. When Remus glanced down, he could see that it was visibly less bent than it had been. Shit.

‘We’re almost there. You can get back to flying class now if you want. It looked like you were enjoying yourself, and we only get the one this year.’

Sirius looked torn. ‘Are you sure you’ll be okay? I don’t mind,’ he said, but he clearly did, it was written all over his face.

‘Yeah, go on. I feel fine. I don’t want to keep you from the air.’

‘Alright then, see you later,’ he said. And he was gone. Remus breathed a sigh of relief, crisis averted, and entered the hospital wing.

‘Hello, Remus. Everything alright?’ Madam Pomfrey asked when she saw the identity of her patient.

‘Fell off my broom and broke my wrist. It’ll be fine in a few minutes, though.’

‘Well, let me have a look, anyway.’ 

Remus held out the damaged arm, and Madam Pomfrey waved her wand over it before checking the results.

‘It’s a clean break. I can fix it for you now if you don’t want to wait through the healing process.’

‘Might as well,’ Remus said, nodding.

Madam Pomfrey cast Episkey, and Remus yelped as his bones knit back together much quicker than he was used to.

‘Good as new,’ she said.

Remus rubbed his newly healed wrist. ‘Thank you.’

‘You can go back to your dorm if you like. I believe you have astronomy tonight? A nap might be a good idea.’

Remus nodded, thanked her again and left. A nap sounded delightful.

-o-o-o-o-

Astronomy class turned out to be boring as hell. They spent the majority of the lesson learning how to use a telescope. Sirius already knew how to use a telescope. He’d been forced into observing the stars from the age of three, and to be brutally honest, he was sick to bloody death of the things. Zoning out of the lecture on how to correctly focus the lens, Sirius glanced over towards Remus and was pleased to note that he had a fully functioning hand again. Watching him fall out of the sky like a stone had been terrifying. It was remarkable that he came out of it with nothing but a broken wrist.

After noting that Remus was fine, Sirius remembered his promise and turned away. Giving his attention to James and Peter, who were fooling around with the telescope while the teacher’s back was turned helping someone else.

Once everyone understood how to manipulate the telescope’s various settings, Professor Sinastra made them practise by finding the moon and noting its position and phase on a chart. Sirius gazed at the moon for a few minutes, remembering how he used to look at it and think about the boy who stood up for him that one time. It was close to full tonight, just beginning to wane. It would have been at its most beautiful just a few nights ago. Sirius silently promised himself to make a point of looking at the moon the next time it was full. He missed doing that.The stars might be boring but the moon was fascinating. 

After class, the three friends lagged at the back of the crowd as the two houses headed back to their respective towers. When the students parted ways, they attempted to join the back of the Ravenclaw group, planning to slip away into a concealed passage they knew of on the way to Ravenclaw tower. They were thwarted in their efforts by the bloody Evans girl that Remus liked so much.

‘Where are you three going exactly?’ she said, her high, clear voice ringing out above the quiet chatter of the students. ‘Off to lose us even more points? Haven’t you lost enough yet? Or maybe you have some innocent victim lined up to attack somewhere?’

‘What the hell are you on about?’ Sirius barked. ‘What innocent victim have we attacked exactly?’

Everyone stopped to watch the exchange, forming a rough circle around Evans and the three boys. Sirius spotted Remus watching from a distance through a gap between two Gryffindors.

‘You know very well who. Severus spent hours in the hospital wing after you blew up his cauldron. Those scratches on his arms could have left permanent scarring.’

‘Ha! I had good reason for doing that,’ Sirius said, tossing his hair and puffing out his chest.

Evans crossed her arms. ‘Really? Please do explain.’

Sirius hesitated. He couldn’t announce in front of all these people what Snape had done to Remus. Even if he wasn’t already on thin ice with him, he knew someone like Remus would be mortified by that kind of attention. ‘Well, he’s a greasy git, isn’t he? Bloody deserved it,’ he said instead, knowing full well it made him sound like a dick. 

‘Ugh. You’re horrid, Black. Absolutely horrid,’ Lily said, spinning around and causing her long, red hair to swing in a perfect arc before marching away up the corridor.

The rest of the students dispersed, many shooting Sirius dirty looks as they left, Sirius didn’t care though. For once in his life, he didn’t act impulsively. He’d thought before he spoke, and made the right choice. This was a total win for self-control.

‘She is so beautiful,’ James mumbled from beside him.

‘What?’ Sirius said, turning to find James staring after the Evans girl with a dream-like expression on his face.

‘Did you see the way her hair caught the light when she spun around and stormed away?’ James sighed. ‘And her eyes. They’re so green.’ 

‘Green is Slytherin’s colour. We don’t like green,’ Sirius said, trying very hard to be patient. What the hell had gotten into him? Whatever it was, Sirius didn’t like it at all.

James looked stricken for a moment, then his expression cleared. ‘Her hair’s red though, and that’s Gryffindor’s colour. And there’s more hair than eyes, so it’s fine.’ He nodded, as if reassuring himself. ‘Don’t you think she’s beautiful?’ 

‘Not really, mate. Can’t see the appeal.’ 

‘Girls are icky,’ Peter said.

Sirius pointed at him, ‘Yes, exactly. What’s wrong with you, mate?’

‘You just wait. She’ll be Lily Potter one day,’ James said, nodding emphatically before marching off up the corridor towards Gryffindor tower.

Sirius and Peter glanced at each other with confusion. Somehow, Sirius didn’t think James meant his declaration of impending marriage in quite the same way he had when talking about McGonagall. And he was going the wrong way.

‘James! What about the frog-spawn soap?’ Sirius hissed after him.

‘We’ll do it another time. If we do it now, they’ll know it was us,’ James called back over his shoulder.

‘So?’ Sirius said to Peter. ‘Since when did James care about being caught?’

Peter just shrugged.

They chased after James down the corridor and caught up with him just outside of the portrait hole where the bottle-neck had caused a pile-up. Remus sidled over to them and leaned close enough to Sirius to speak quietly.

‘Can I ask you something?’

Sirius nodded and walked a few meters away from the crowd waiting to enter the common room.

When they stopped, Remus turned to face him. He glanced into his eyes before looking down and fiddling with the end of his tie. ‘Why did you really attack Snape?’ he asked.

Fuck, Sirius thought, how was he supposed to answer that? The truth would mean admitting to even more of the very behaviour Remus had complained about. But he didn’t want to lie to him. He shuffled his feet. Truth or lie, truth or lie? His thoughts were frantic.

Finally, staring at the top of Remus’ head, he spoke in a whisper. ‘I did it for you.’

Remus jerked his head up and looked Sirius in the eyes. ‘What do you mean?’

‘He did something to you in the owlery, right? You came back to the dorm covered in shit and feathers, and he’s got injuries from an owl he didn’t get treatment for. Doesn’t take a genius to work it out.’

Remus’ eyes glistened. ‘Thank you,’ he said.


	13. Chapter 12

Thursday, 9th September 1971

Remus finished slurping down the dregs of his medi-witch prescribed morning chocolate injection and slapped his lips in appreciation. 

‘That was as delicious as always, Breen. Thank you.’ There truly was nothing better than starting the day with a huge dose of cocoa. The fact that it was good for him was just the icing on the cake. ‘Would it be okay if I spent some time in the laundry room? I think the atmosphere would help me meditate,’ Remus asked the elf as he stood up from the table.

‘Of course, Master Remus,’ Breen said, appearing delighted to be able to help him in another way. 

Remus thanked him and made his way to the laundry room. Plumes of warm steam billowed out as he pushed the door open and the scent of soap filled his nose. The smell was strong but not unpleasant, so Remus could tolerate it. Once inside, he leant against one of the washing buckets with his arms propped on the rim and stared into the swirling liquid, allowing the heat of the room and the sounds of the water to lull him gently into his mindscape 

He wasn’t sure how long he had been there when an elf disturbed him by calling his name.

‘Is you okay, Master Remus?’ the female elf asked.

He jolted painfully from his meditation and opened his eyes. ‘I’m fine, thank you. I was just meditating,’ he assured her, and she scurried off back to her work. He assumed she put the word out because the rest of the elves left him alone after that. They worked around him, chattering quietly amongst themselves, and their voices added to the ambient background noise of the room in a way Remus found soothing.

He stayed there for the rest of the free period enjoying the atmosphere before a concerned elf alerted him to the time and he realised he needed to leave for Transfiguration.

-o-o-o-o-

‘Morning, Remus,’ Sirius called when he saw him enter the classroom. ‘You can sit with us if you like.’

Remus paused at his shout. He’d been heading towards his usual solitary desk on the other side of the room, but he glanced at the corner where the three of them were sitting, shrugged and walked towards them. Sirius felt a thrill of triumph. He was finally getting somewhere. 

‘You want me to sit with Pete?’ James whispered as they watched Remus attempt to navigate the classroom in his too-long robes, tripping twice along the way.

‘You don’t mind?’ Sirius said, surprised by the offer. He did want Remus to sit next to him, but he would never have asked James himself. That would have been rude.

‘Course not, I know how much you want him to like you, and I understand why.’ James got to his feet and grabbed his bag. ‘Shove over, Pete. I’m sitting with you today,’ he said, his tone cheerful.

‘Oh, you didn’t need to move, James,’ Remus said when he reached them.

‘It’s cool. I know you like being at the back with no one behind you. I don’t mind,’ James said, and then winked at Sirius when Remus turned to pull his things from his bag. Sirius grinned back.

‘Why do you have a silver plate?’ Sirius said when he saw Remus pull the item from his bag. 

Remus’ face turned a pleasing shade of pink, and Sirius wondered if he could make the colour deepen.

‘I missed the lesson on reparifarge, so Professor McGonagall gave me this to practise on. Well, when she gave it to me it was a weird metallic wood and shaped like a demented frisbee.’

‘And you did it without even seeing the demonstration? That’s pretty impressive, mate. Well done,’ Sirius said.

Remus’ blush intensified and Sirius grinned. 

‘Thanks, it took a while,’ Remus said.

‘Good morning, class. I hope you’re not too tired from your Astronomy lesson last night because today will be your first attempt at transfiguration.’ 

Cheers went up around the room at the announcement and she smiled.

‘Yes, I know. It’s very exciting.’ She waited for the class to calm down before continuing. ‘Today you will be focusing on changing an object’s material. You will each receive a matchstick, and I would like you to turn it into a needle. This task should not be too difficult if you have a sufficient understanding of the theory, and I expect all of you to have at least some effect on your matchstick by the end of the lesson. Anyone who does not will be writing me an essay.’ 

The students groaned, but Professor McGonagall ignored them, dropping matchsticks on the desks at the front of the room before moving on to the next row. When she reached Sirius and Remus at the back of the room, she took the silver plate and congratulated Remus on his success.

The class fell silent as the students focused on their attempts to transfigure their matchstick. No one wanted to have to write an extra essay. The peace was only broken by the occasional cry of frustration, which Professor McGonagall ignored.

‘Oh hey, you did it!’ Sirius whisper-shouted when he glanced at Remus’ side of the desk and saw his matchstick was now metallic.

‘Well, it’s not quite a needle,’ Remus said, frowning at his silver matchstick. ‘All I’ve done is make a serviceable item utterly useless.’ He picked it up and held it with the end pinched between his thumb and forefinger. ‘Can’t start a fire with it, can’t sew with it. What use is a metal matchstick?’

Sirius sniggered. ‘Well, let’s see,’ he said, taking the matchstick from Remus using the tips of his fingers so their hands wouldn’t touch. ‘It might make a great drumstick for a mouse drummer,’ he said, tapping it on the edge of the table in an upbeat rhythm. ‘You may have started a revolution in the rodent music scene.’

Remus snorted. ‘Aren’t drumsticks usually made of wood?’

‘Well, you just want to spoil all my dreams, don’t you, Remus?’ Sirius said.

James and Peter had turned around in their seats and were watching the exchange with amusement. 

James snatched the matchstick from Sirius. ‘Clearly, it’s a walking stick for an elderly and disabled frog, and I must say, Remus, it was very kind of you to make it.’ 

‘You’re an idiot, James,’ Peter said, taking the matchstick from James, who had been tapping it across the table in imitation of a walking stick. ‘Frogs don’t walk. Why would they need a walking stick? It’s obviously the balance bar for a tight-rope walking beetle.’

‘What’s tight-rope walking?’ Sirius asked.

‘It’s a muggle performance. They walk on a single strand of rope really high in the air, and they use a metal bar to stay balanced,’ Peter told him.

‘That sounds really stupid and dangerous,’ Sirius said with interest. ‘I want to try it.’ 

His pronouncement caused the other three to dissolve into fits of suppressed laughter. Sirius smirked and waited for them to regain control. He liked making people laugh.

Remus was the first to stop giggling, and he sat up and wiped his eyes before he said, ‘Anyway, beetles can walk upside down on the ceiling, so they wouldn’t need a balance bar.’ He held out his hand to request his matchstick back, and Peter dropped it into his hand without touching him. 

‘May I ask what you four find so amusing about today’s lesson?’ Professor McGonagall called from the front of the room.

‘Sorry, Professor,’ Sirius said. ‘Remus turned his matchstick into metal, but he was concerned that he’d made something completely useless. So, we were trying to reassure him, but all our ideas are terrible. Can you think of a use for a metal matchstick?’

The other students chuckled at Sirius’ words, and even Professor McGonagall seemed to be struggling to keep her face straight. Sirius detected a slight twitching at the corners of her mouth.

‘Congratulations, Mister Lupin, ten points to Gryffindor. Perhaps you can help your friends to achieve the same results?’ she said.

Sirius turned back to Remus and saw he was now blushing furiously. Sirius decided he liked that colour on Remus and resolved to make it happen more often.

The rest of the class passed without further incident. Sirius and James managed to make their matchsticks take on a metallic sheen, but they were still made of wood. Peter had failed to have any effect on his whatsoever and was doomed to write the extra essay. 

When class ended, they hung back to let the room clear, Sirius wanted Remus to see that they were considerate of his needs without having to be asked. He was delighted that they had gotten along so well during the lesson and that Remus had seemed to enjoy his sense of humour, and he was determined to not mess up this time.

By the time they left, the corridor outside was deserted. James and Peter volunteered to grab some food from the hall, and they arranged to meet back at the dorm before dashing off, leaving Sirius and Remus alone.

Sirius cast around for something to say and, seeing the torrential rain through the water-spotted windows, settled on, ‘I’m glad we don’t have to go outside today.’

‘Me too,’ Remus said.

Well, that was a long and riveting conversation, Sirius thought. What the hell was wrong with him? He finally had Remus alone, friendly and receptive, and the only topic of conversation he could come up with was the weather?

As they entered the entrance hall, a red light shot across the room from the darkness of the dungeon stairwell and hit Remus’ bag, splitting the seam at the bottom and dumping the contents all over the floor. Sirius caught a glimpse of the unmistakable greasy black hair of his least favourite student disappearing around the corner. What the fuck was his problem?

‘Oh no,’ Remus said, dropping to the floor and scrambling to gather his things back together. Sirius crouched down to help and started stacking the books and shoving things into his own bag to help carry them back to the dorm. 

Remus looked up, and Sirius caught sight of his face. His cheeks were wet with tears.

‘Hey, it’s okay. We can get the bag fixed.’

‘I just don’t understand why he keeps picking on me,’ Remus said, ‘I’ve done nothing to him.’

Sirius wanted to offer him comfort, but it was so hard when he couldn’t touch him.

‘He’s just a little prick who wants to feel big. It’s not your fault,’ he said, glaring at the stairwell where Snape had vanished. ‘Don’t worry, James and I will get him back.’

Remus sniffed. ‘Thanks.’

-o-o-o-o-

After spending the free period that morning and part of lunch with Sirius, James and Peter, Remus was calm and relaxed around them when they all arrived at Potions class. As they entered the room, the stench of ingredients and brewing potions assaulted Remus’ nose. It must have shown on his face because Sirius asked if he was okay.

‘Yeah, it’s just the smell in this room. I can’t stand it,’ he said. 

Sirius sniffed. ‘It’s not that bad.’

Remus realised his mistake. The others wouldn’t be able to smell what he could. ‘I have a sensitive nose.’ he said quickly, trying to cover the slipup. ‘It’s alright, I’ll get used to it.’

‘Do you want to sit with us again?’ James asked. 

‘Yeah, okay. But I don’t want you to move. I’ll sit with Peter. I don’t mind having you two behind me.’

Remus noticed that Sirius’ smile dropped for a microsecond at his words. Was he fed up with Remus’ company already, he wondered, but didn’t dwell on it. He took his seat next to Peter and set-up his cauldron on the firepit area of his desk.

While they waited for class to begin, Remus idly stared out of the window at the view under the lake. The rain hammering down on the lake’s surface had turned the water cloudy, and the particles swirling in the maelstrom were beautiful to watch. 

It didn’t take long before he was interrupted by Professor Slughorn’s jovial voice announcing the beginning of the lesson.

‘Many potions begin with an infusion of a certain ingredient as the base. While it is possible to buy readymade infusions, it is far cheaper to buy or even grow the base ingredient and brew your own infusion. Today’s lesson will teach you this process. The method is on the board. You have two hours. Begin.’

Remus looked up at the board and noted that the first step was to fill the cauldron with water. Realising he would have to wait to avoid being jostled, he stayed put in his chair while Peter left to fetch water for himself. Merlin, he hated how much his condition affected his everyday life here. There were constant reminders at home too, but here it was so much more pronounced. He shouldn’t complain, though; being here at all was such a huge privilege.

‘Do you want me to pour it in for you? It’s kind of heavy,’ Sirius said, startling Remus from his thoughts. ‘The water,’ Sirius said, nodding to the jug in his hand, ‘I can pour it in for you if you like?’

‘Er, yeah. Thanks,’ Remus said, sidling out of the way so Sirius could pour the jug of water into his cauldron.

‘No problem. That’s what friends are for, right?’ Sirius said. ‘Here, James grabbed you some wormwood from the storage cabinet too.’ Sirius tossed a packet of pale green herbs onto his desk and sauntered back to his own workstation, where he leaned in close to speak to James.

Remus stared at the greenery on his desk and the water in his cauldron and fought to blink back tears. Who were these people? Eleven-year-old boys didn’t consider other people’s needs like this. Not in the books he had read or in the tv shows he had seen, which was, admittedly, his only frame of reference. It was making it so much harder not to break his resolve. They were so kind. Why couldn’t he be friends with them? But he knew why. It was too much of a risk. Getting close to them would mean they paid more attention. They would figure out his secret and reject him, or worse, report him. But Sirius did seem to be keeping his word and not prying so much. Maybe it wasn’t impossible.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, he tried to concentrate on his work, but the stink in the room was getting worse as students began chopping their wormwood, and his head was swimming.

‘Woah, Remus. You’re chopping it too finely; it’ll be impossible to strain,’ Peter said.

‘Oh bugger, really?’ Remus said. He stopped cutting and stared down at his wormwood sadly. ‘Is it ruined?’

‘Not completely,’ Peter said, ‘Here, let me...’ Remus stepped out of the way, and Peter moved over and separated out the parts that were too finely chopped. ‘There, this stuff is good, just keep doing it like that.’ 

Remus smiled at him. ‘Thanks, Pete.’

‘That’s okay,’ Peter said, smiling back.

With Peter’s watchful eye on him, Remus managed to concoct a reasonable infusion and earned himself an A, James and Sirius both got Es and Peter was awarded an O for his perfect infusion, which Slughorn asked him to bottle so he could use it later. After packing away, they returned their things to the dorm and parted ways for dinner. 

Remus was more conflicted than ever before. He wasn’t sure what to do about his dorm-mates at all. Being friends with them would make his life so much easier. They were thoughtful and considerate, seeming to anticipate when he would have difficulty and helping before he even asked, and Peter appeared to be a whizz at potions. Remus could really use his help in that class. But at the same time, spending so much time with them made it easier for them to notice things. If they found out his secret, it would all be over. He didn’t know what to do. Should he follow his heart or his head? 

He reached the kitchens, ate his dinner as fast as he could, and returned to the laundry room. None of the elves had bothered him at lunch. They seemed to have accepted his presence beside the wash buckets. Looking at the five buckets, Remus decided it would look strange if he meditated by each of them in turn and could arouse suspicion. He would have to cast the spells on one of them at each mealtime. He’d be done by Saturday morning, so if he set the timing charm for a week on Monday, it would allow nine days for everything that was washed to be transfigured. That should be plenty.

He had already done the calculations, using generous estimates for the amount of students in each year, plus the teachers and an average of four outfits a week. He figured out he needed to channel his magic for fifteen minutes. He then doubled that to thirty to be safe. 

Remus positioned himself next to one of the buckets in the same manner as the last two times, this time with his wand in his hand. He allowed the tip to rest against the rim of the bucket and closed his eyes, focusing on his magical core. It was easy to locate now that he’d practised so much, and he was soon whispering the words of the combined incantations. He stayed there for the full thirty minutes and was exhausted by the time he was finished.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius took a seat in the Great Hall across from James and Peter and glanced up at the ceiling. James followed his gaze.

‘Doesn’t look so pretty when the weather’s bad, does it?’ James said.

‘I don’t know, I kind of like it,’ Sirius said. ‘It’s all dark and moody.’

Peter was too busy loading his plate to take any notice of their conversation. Sirius looked around. The hall was busy but not full, and there wasn’t anyone sitting in their immediate vicinity.

‘Guys, I need to talk to you about something,’ he said, leaning forward across the table. ‘It’s about Remus and Snivellus.’ 

‘What about Snivellus? What did he do now?’ James growled.

‘He split Remus’ bag with a severing charm.’ He hesitated before continuing in a lower voice. ‘It made Remus cry.’

‘We have to do something,’ Peter said, scowling.

‘Oh, we will,’ James said, turning his head to glare at Snape across the hall.

‘What are you thinking?’ Sirius asked.

James’ eyes were gleaming with mischief when he turned back. ‘Well, we still have that frogspawn soap for one, but I don’t think that’s quite good enough for the evil little git. I do have one idea, though. It’s something I did to my dad once during a joke contest.’

‘Wait,’ Sirius said, holding up a hand. ‘You have joke contests with your dad?’

‘All the time,’ James said, laughing. ‘Mum hates it. Anyway, this one time, I put stinksap in his shower potion. Not enough that you could smell it in the bottle, just enough so that anyone who washed with it would smell faintly of shit until they washed it off with something else.’ James was laughing hard now, obviously enjoying the memory. During the brief respite between fits of laughter, he managed to get the rest of the story out.

‘He couldn’t... couldn’t work out... work out where the smell... the smell was coming from.’ James took a deep steadying breath and blurted the rest out in one go before dissolving into fits of giggles again.

‘He smelt like shit for WEEKS!’

Sirius took a moment to consider this idea, imagining Snape going around smelling like a dung heap and not being able to figure out why. And washing more would only make it worse. Seconds later, all three of the boys had their heads on the table, shaking with laughter and holding their sides from the pain.

Eventually, they got themselves under control and sat up straight again. Sirius wiped away a tear and said, ‘It’s perfect, James, utterly perfect.’

They hurried through the rest of their meal and held a rapid planning session in a nearby hidden passage, during which Peter pulled his herbology textbook out to search up the best way to extract stinksap from a Mimbulus Mimbletonia, and Sirius volunteered to be the one who snuck into greenhouse three and did the extracting. 

An hour before curfew, they were outside greenhouse three with the invisibility cloak, a potion vial, a pair of ultra-thick dragon-hide gloves, and an old quill.

‘Now remember, you have to tickle the largest boil, and the stinksap will be released from the smallest one,’ Peter said.

‘Yeah, I know,’ Sirius said. ‘Give me the cloak, James.’

James handed him the invisibility cloak, and Sirius wrapped it around his shoulders, leaving his head uncovered before taking the gloves and putting them on, tucking the ends of his robes inside and tightening them securely. He had no desire to get that shit on his skin. 

He took the quill and potion vial, nodded to James and Peter, and pulled the hood over his head. Creeping along so as not to make any sound, Sirius approached greenhouse three and turned the door handle. He glanced back over his shoulder once before pushing the door open slowly and tip-toeing inside. 

The greenhouse was blessedly empty, and Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. He closed the door behind him so he’d be alerted if anyone arrived while he was working and then looked around. The glass room was filled with far more interesting plants than they were working on in greenhouse one. He shook himself. That wasn’t why he was here.

Spotting the Mimbulus Mimbletonia in the middle of a collection of magical cacti, Sirius hurried over and inspected it. The largest boil was definitely the big fat one on the side, but the smallest was a close tie between the one on the very top and another just below the fattest. It was impossible to guess. There was no other choice. He would have to pick one and hope he was holding the vial in the right place.

Sirius chose to cover the one on the top, on the basis that having stinksap spurt straight up would be disastrous for his hair, whereas if it came out the side he could just keep out of the way. Decision made, he positioned himself on the other side of the plant from the boil he wasn’t going to cover and held the vial over the boil on the top, before tickling the largest bulge with his quill.

It was an awkward dance, but he managed, and luck was on his side. The thick, green goo spurted out of the top boil and into his vial, which he tilted back to keep the viscous liquid inside. He stoppered the vial and put it in his pocket before hurrying back to the door.

Peeking through the glass of the door, he saw James and Peter talking to Professor Sprout. They’d positioned themselves so the professor had her back to the greenhouse, so Sirius pushed the door open as quietly as possible and tip-toed out before closing it behind him. His heart was hammering in his chest and his breathing sounded loud in the quiet evening. 

‘If that’s everything, boys, you two should get back to the school. Curfew’s in half an hour,’ Professor Sprout was saying to James and Peter. They nodded and James glanced in Sirius’ general direction, though his aim was a little off. Sirius slipped a hand out from under the cloak and waved.

‘Of course, Professor. Thank you for your help, I understand much better now,’ James said.

‘You’re welcome. I expect an Outstanding essay on my desk on Friday.’

Professor Sprout turned and strolled in Sirius’s direction, but he sidestepped out of the way and joined his friends who were walking slowly in the direction of the castle.

‘Leaving without me?’ he said, making them jump.

‘Did you get it?’ James asked.

‘I’m pleased to report the mission was a complete success,’ Sirius said, pulling off the cloak, and handing it to James.

‘Bloody good job too. We had to listen to a ten-minute lecture on shrivelfigs to keep Sprout out of the greenhouse.’

‘Your sacrifice was not in vain, my friend,’ Sirius’ said, putting his arm around James’ shoulders. 

‘Excellent,’ James said. ‘We better get back under the cloak, though. We still need to find out the Slytherin password.’

They didn’t expect it to be difficult, considering they already knew where the entrance was and they had an invisibility cloak. Needless to say, they were correct in their assumption. It had barely been ten minutes when a careless first-year approached the blank stretch of wall and announced in a loud, clear voice, ‘Salamander eggs.’

The boys smirked at each other under the cover of the cloak and crept away. Mission accomplished.

Several hours later, they were preparing to leave for their midnight excursion, and this time Remus was awake to see them off. They’d explained their plan to him, and he had thought it a little harsh at first, but they’d talked him around.

‘I wish I could come,’ Remus said, as he watched them prepare from his seat on the bed.

‘You could try,’ James said. ‘I mean, you like us don’t you? It might be okay touching people you like.’

‘No!’ Remus gasped, seeming horrified by the idea.

Sirius slapped James round the back of the head. ‘Idiot,’ he said. ‘If he can’t touch his own parents, he’s not going to be able to touch us. He barely knows us.’

‘Right. Sorry, Remus,’ James said. ‘I wasn’t thinking. I just didn’t want you to be left out.’

‘It’s okay. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up. I doubt I’ll ever be able to touch you.’

‘Yeah, we understand, mate. It’s cool. We’ll tell you everything when we get back,’ Sirius said.

Twenty minutes later, they were standing outside the Slytherin common room under the cloak. Their own common room had been empty when they passed through it, and they hoped the same would be true for the Slytherin’s. Everyone should be asleep. It wouldn’t mean instant capture if people were still awake, they were invisible after all, but it would make their task more difficult. 

‘Salamander eggs,’ Sirius whispered, and the wall in front of them vanished, revealing a short passageway. They crept in and down the corridor lined with portraits of famous Slytherins, most of whom were ugly.

The Slytherin common room was fancier than Gryffindor’s, but not as inviting in Sirius’ opinion. It had the same rough stone walls covered with tapestries, and the same general layout of chairs, tables and sofas, with a roaring fire in the fireplace, but that was where the similarities ended. While everything in Gryffindor tower was red and gold, warm and comforting, everything here was green and silver. The upholstery, the carpets, even the light had a green tint. The colour gave the room a sickly, cold atmosphere. Even though the furniture was top quality and the room was pristine, Sirius thought if he had to spend his free time here, he’d go mad.

It was, much to their relief, empty of all life, and they hurried towards the stairwells at the back of the room which led down, not up like Gryffindor’s.

‘Which one do you think is the boys’?’ James whispered.

Sirius shrugged. ‘On the right, like ours?’

‘I don’t have any better ideas,’ James said, before starting forward down the right-hand staircase.

It was difficult to navigate the narrow staircase, crammed together as they were under the cloak, but they managed it without falling and breaking their necks. The first door they came to listed two names, neither of which were Snape, but they were male.

‘They only have two people to a room?’ Sirius asked with a frown.

‘Seems a bit unfair,’ Peter said.

‘Yeah, but I like our way better,’ James said, smiling at them.

‘Yeah, me too,’ Sirius said. ‘Slytherins don’t understand friendship.’

They continued down the stairs until they found Snape’s room; he was sharing with someone called Adrian Blishwick. Poor Adrian was not going to enjoy sharing this room for a while. After listening at the door for a minute to make sure they were asleep and hearing no sound from inside, they pushed it open gently. 

The moment the door was unlatched, the sound of snoring leaked out from inside. Of course, the room was silenced. That could have been disastrous if the occupants were awake. Thankfully, they were both sound asleep. The boys tip-toed over to the only other door in the room and entered the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind them. 

There were two cubicles inside, each with their own set of toiletries, and a single bath behind a screen at one end of the room.

‘Hey, we don’t get baths!’ Peter said.

‘Totally unfair,’ James said.

Sirius nodded in agreement and then glanced at the shower cubicles. ‘Which do you think is Snape’s?’

‘Whichever one doesn’t have shampoo?’ Peter suggested. Sirius and James both snorted and shushed each other. Sirius inspected both cubicles.

‘I reckon it’s this one. Everything looks old and tatty, and these toiletries are cheap. The other one’s got expensive things.’

James got to work adding the stinksap to the bottle and shaking it to mix it in before putting it back exactly as he found it. Snape wouldn’t suspect a thing. The boys crept out and up the stairs before hurrying across the common room and through the door.

They returned to their own dorm without any problems, and Remus was dozing but woke up when they entered. So they told him everything that happened, and he grinned and thanked them. Sirius found it hard to get to sleep that night. He had finally found a way to pay his debt to Remus, and the joy he felt kept him awake for a long time.


	14. Chapter 13

Friday, 10th September 1971, 9:30 am

Remus breathed a sigh of relief as he left the Defence classroom. Emhio's imitation of banshee screeching had been unbearable to his sensitive ears. She had stopped ten minutes ago, but his ears were still ringing.

'We're going to grab some food. Pete's hungry again,' Sirius said. Remus turned his attention to him. 'I know you don't like the hall. Will you be alright on your own for a bit?'

'Of course. I need to go to the library and finish some homework, anyway,' Remus lied. He'd finished all his homework the night before, but he did need to be alone to find an opportunity to leave his message in the Great Hall, and they hadn't left his side since Potions the day before.

'Oh. Okay. We'll see you in History then?'

'Sure, and then you can all fall asleep while I take notes,' Remus said.

Sirius barked a laugh. 'Exactly.'

The three boys strolled off towards the Great Hall, and Remus acted like he was heading towards the stairs, but as soon as they were out of sight, he turned around and went outside. He would wait until break was over and the hall was empty, and then sneak in to leave his message. It would only take a minute.

Sitting down on a bench, Remus pulled a book from his bag and settled down to wait. It was nice to get some peace. The company of his dorm mates was pleasant, but he wasn't used to it, and it sometimes grated on him. He was soon engrossed in his book, and the time passed quickly. It wasn't until he noticed a distinct drop in the noise level around him, that he tore himself from the fictional world, looked up and realised that second period had begun.

Remus put away his book and hurried into the entrance hall. The place was deserted, and he approached the doors to the Great Hall, trying to look casual, and cracked them open. Seeing no one inside, he slipped through and closed them behind him with a quiet click.

He decided to leave his message on the wall behind the teacher's table, thinking everyone would be looking in that direction when it all kicked off. So, he climbed up onto the raised stage area and took out his wand.

After setting the timing charm for one minute later than the transfiguration was due to occur, he cast flagrate and moved his wand with precision to form the letters for his message. Satisfied with his work, he watched them fade out of existence to return at the specified time, before sneaking back out into the entrance hall.

When he emerged, he spotted a small group of students congregated around the notice board. They were talking amongst themselves in loud, excited voices and took no notice of him. He waited for them to disperse and then wandered over to take a look. It was a notice about extra-curricular clubs, and Remus read through the list with interest. As much as he despised Potions, he was struggling in the class, and maybe extra practise would help. The Potions club was held on Tuesdays after dinner in the Potions classroom. He decided to check it out the following week. The other club that caught his interest was art. He'd always wanted to learn how to draw. That one was held on Thursday's, after dinner again. He had nothing better to do, so he might as well go.

Decision made, he left the entrance hall and took a slow, meandering walk to History of Magic.

-o-o-o-o-

That evening, Sirius was sitting up in his bed with the curtains drawn, writing an essay on fluxweed for Herbology class.

'Bugger it,' he muttered when he pressed too hard and his quill snapped. Reaching around the edge of his bed curtain, he grabbed his bag, pulled it onto the bed and began rummaging around for a replacement. Unable to find one, he pulled all the books and loose bits of parchment out so he could see better and found a lone quill sitting at the bottom.

He started putting everything back into his bag when he picked up a piece of parchment and saw the words, "befriending my dorm mates" written across the top. This wasn't his. It must be Remus'. He had stuffed a lot of his stuff in his bag earlier. He must have missed this when he emptied it out. Feeling incredibly guilty—he knew he shouldn't be doing it, but by Merlin's shaggy beard he was intrigued—he unfolded the parchment and read through the list of pros written in Remus' neat handwriting.

" _Having friends would be nice,"_ he read.

Well, he agreed with him on that. Having friends was very nice. Fantastic actually. Quite possibly the best thing to ever happen to him.

" _They seem fun."_

You're damn right, we're fun, Sirius thought with a grin.

" _Sirius would be less suspicious of me."_

Sirius frowned. What the fuck did that mean? Was there something to be suspicious of?

" _If they did find out, they might be okay with it."_

So there _was_ something to be suspicious of. Remus had a secret, and it was something he thought they might reject him for. Sirius felt a potent urge to prove him wrong.

" _I stand out more if I'm always alone."_

Did he feel a need to hide? What was his secret? It must be something big if he was this intent on keeping it.

Feeling guiltier than ever but unable to stop himself, Sirius read through the cons list.

" _They would take more notice of when I'm gone."_

That was interesting. It sounded like he expected to be absent often, and that the timing of those absences would be a clue to the content of the secret.

" _Less chance of them finding out if we're not friends."_

He had given that one a score of five. The secret was so important that he was willing to forgo friendships to keep it. Sirius felt even more guilty now because there was no doubt in his mind, he was going to discover Remus' secret. There had never been anything more important. He would figure it out, and he would not reject him for it.

Sirius finished reading and snorted at the last item on the list. " _Would be a distraction from schoolwork."_ Remus had given that a three! He was such a nerd, Sirius thought with affection.

Sirius pulled out his journal. He was going to make a list of his own. But he wouldn't risk using a sheet of parchment that was so easily misplaced for something so important. He shook his head. What had Remus been thinking? It was lucky Sirius had found it and not some evil Slytherin that would use it against him.

Now, what had he noticed about Remus that might be a clue? He tapped the end of his quill against his chin as he thought, but quickly stopped because it tickled. There was the no-touching thing, but that could be unrelated. He wrote it down anyway, just in case.

Thinking about Remus' list, he checked the dates that Remus had been missing for and jotted them down. If he was going to be absent often, then the teachers must be aware of the secret or he'd never get away with it, Sirius thought. And if they're aware of it, then they must be okay with it, or they wouldn't have let him in the school. What could it be that the teachers are fine with, but others might reject him for? A contagious disease spread through touch? Was there even such a thing? It seemed like it would spread rather fast if there were.

He flicked back through his journal to see if there was anything significant about the two days he'd been gone. Remus had disappeared on the 5th and come back late on the 6th. The 5th was a full moon. He considered that. Could Remus be a werewolf?

He snorted. No. Impossible. Remus was the most un-werewolf-like person he'd ever met. His own mother was more werewolf-like than Remus, vicious and full of spite. No, it must be something else.

He sat there for a while longer but couldn't think of anything else to add to the list, so he put his journal away and continued with his homework. There was plenty of time to come back to the mystery later, and he was determined to figure it out. He would be watching Remus.

-o-o-o-o-

Saturday dawned bright and sunny, and Remus woke at twenty past eight feeling well-rested and energised. It had been five days since the full moon, not to mention five mornings of nutrition potions. He was fully recovered from the ordeal and couldn't remember the last time he had felt this good. Madam Pomfrey must be an angel, he decided.

He pulled back his bed curtain and mumbled a greeting to Sirius, who was sitting up in bed reading something with his quill in hand, as he passed him on his way to the bathroom. James and Peter were still asleep. He showered and dressed in the privacy of the cubicle and returned to the dorm, feeling more awake.

'Morning, mate. You sleep okay?' Sirius asked, his voice low to not wake the other occupants of the room.

'Yeah, really good. You?' Remus said, wandering over to Sirius' bed.

'Yeah, not bad.' Sirius shifted over on the bed to make room for Remus. 'Sit down, we can chat while we wait for the lazy boys to wake up.'

Remus eyed the bed. They were large, much bigger than eleven-year-olds needed. It should be fine, as long as Sirius didn't become too exuberant. But he seemed very conscious of Remus' boundaries. He decided to risk it and sat down next to Sirius, leaning back against the headboard.

'What are you reading?'

Sirius closed the book. 'I wasn't,' he said. 'It's my journal. I was writing and thinking.'

'You keep a journal?' Remus asked, surprised. He didn't seem the type.

Sirius scowled. 'Yeah, why? You going to take the piss? Call me a girl?'

Remus held his hands up in surrender. 'Not at all. I was just surprised. You don't seem like you'd be able to keep still long enough to write anything.'

'Yeah, that's fair,' Sirius said, laughing. 'The thing is, my brain's always thinking, so many different things. Sometimes it gets too much, too full, you know? Writing it down helps.'

'I'm not sure I know what you mean,' Remus said thoughtfully, 'but I can understand why it would help. I'm glad you found something to make it easier.'

They both looked to the other side of the dorm at the sound of movement. 'Wha' 'ime is it?' James' voice called out, slurred and almost incoherent with sleep.

'Half past eight, you lazy git!' Sirius yelled back. 'You getting up or what? I'm hungry.'

'Alright, I'm up,' James said sleepily, still lying in his bed and making no attempt to move.

Sirius rolled out of bed, marched over to James', pulled back the curtain and yanked his duvet from his body.

'Argh!' James shouted. 'Give it back, I'm cold!'

'Nope,' Sirius said. 'I'll give it back when you've had a shower and gotten dressed.'

James leapt out of bed, arms outstretched, towards Sirius, but Sirius was quicker and whipped around, rocketing in the direction of his own bed. Remus yelped and jumped off, backing up into the wall to get out of the way as Sirius launched himself onto the bed and landed with James' quilt beneath him.

'Sorry, Remus!' Sirius called from underneath James, who had leapt on top of him. 'Argh, no tickling, you bastard!'

'No harm done,' Remus said, returning to the safety of his own bed.

'I guess that's the end of sleep time then,' Peter said, appearing from behind his curtains and glaring at the two boys now wrestling on the floor.

'I think we better get used to it, Pete. I reckon there's going to be a lot of this over the next few years,' Remus said, nodding at the pile of thrashing limbs.

'Reckon your right,' Peter said, stepping over them on his way to the bathroom.

When James and Sirius had finished wrestling on the floor of the dorm, and Peter had showered and dressed, they all went downstairs for breakfast, parting ways at the Great Hall, so Remus could continue on to the kitchens alone. Against Remus' better judgement, they arranged to meet back up after the meal and do some more exploring of the school. He still wasn't sure it was a wise move to get close to the boys but, oh, how he wanted to. His desire made it impossible to say no when they asked him to hang out with them.

Remus ate his breakfast quickly, knowing he still needed to cast the spells on the last wash bucket that morning and not wanting to keep the others waiting for too long. It was still over an hour before they were together once more in the entrance hall, discussing where to look.

'Where have you already searched?' Remus asked.

'The astronomy tower, some of the third floor, some of the fifth, a lot of the ground floor,' James said, ticking the places off on his fingers.

'Not very organised,' Remus said, frowning. 'How do you expect to search the whole school like that?'

'What would you suggest?' Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows in challenge.

'I think we need to go back to the dorm and make a plan,' Remus said, looking around. 'There are too many people here to talk about it properly.

They all agreed, and they hurried back to Gryffindor tower. Once they were safely hidden away in their dormitory, they continued their conversation.

'I think we should start by making a list of all the locations and then search them thoroughly one by one, recording what we find,' Remus said.

'Like, all the individual rooms?' Peter asked. 'That'll take ages!'

'No, just the various floors, wings and towers. If we find something, we can specify exactly where in that section it is when we record it.'

'When, my friend, not if,' James said.

Remus smiled at him. 'Sorry, James. When we find something.'

'Much better,' James said. 'It just so happens that I have the perfect thing for the job.'

James rummaged around in his bag for a few seconds and pulled out a pristine notebook filled with expensive, high-quality parchment and bound in black dragonhide. He tossed it across the room so it landed on Remus' bed.

'Merlin, James, this must have cost a fortune,' Remus said, picking up the book and examining it with awe.

'No, just a very small percentage of a fortune,' James said. 'Will it do?'

'Will it do?' Remus repeated, his voice strangled. 'James, this notebook is far too nice to use for something so trivial.'

'Trivial?' James said, looking offended. 'This is the most important task of my school career. It will be my legacy!'

Remus laughed. 'Surely your education is the most important?'

James flapped his hands at Remus' suggestion. 'No. That's just a side note.'

'Alright, we'll use this.' Remus said, opening the book to the first page and stroking it with reverence before pulling out a quill to write with. 'So there's the main building and then the East and West wings, and the five towers, not including Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.'

'Why wouldn't we include them?' James asked.

'Well, I doubt there's anything hidden in the common rooms or dormitories.'

'There could be,' Sirius said.

'Alright, we'll include them. It's going to be hard to search Ravenclaw tower though.'

James grinned. 'Hard, but not impossible. We have an invisibility cloak on our side, remember.'

'That is true,' Remus said, pointing his quill at James. 'So, what have you already found?'

They went through the list of things they'd found, and Remus recorded them in the notebook, giving a separate page to each of the thirty-seven sections they'd identified.

'Now, where do you want to start today?' Remus asked.

'I say we should start at the top and work our way down,' Peter said. 'I think we'll be more tired later in the year and won't want to climb the stairs if we don't have to.'

'That is good thinking, Pete,' Sirius said, and Peter beamed at the praise. 'And, you also don't want to walk all the way back down again, when we just walked up here.'

'Well. Yes. That too,' Peter said, laughing.

'Alright, so we'll search the seventh floor of the main building today then?' Remus said, trying to get them back on topic.

'Sounds good to me,' James said, and the other two nodded.

They left Gryffindor tower and began their exploration of the seventh floor. For most of the day, they found very little. There was a hidden passage behind a tapestry which led from one side of the main building to the other, cutting out the meandering maze of corridors one would normally have to navigate, which would come in handy, but not much else. Not until they started searching the Grand Staircase. It was Peter's suggestion to check the portraits that lined the staircase. Considering the entrance to their own common room was hidden behind one such portrait, it was surprising no one else had thought of it. However, it was Remus that found it in the end, when he struck up a conversation with the portrait of an old man holding a book and smoking a pipe.

'Good afternoon, sir. Is your book interesting?'

The man in the portrait jumped and turned his head to look at Remus, 'Well, hello, young man. And a good afternoon to you too,' he said, looking Remus up and down. 'My book is most interesting, thank you. Do you enjoy reading?'

Remus nodded with enthusiasm. 'Yes, sir. It's my favourite thing to do.'

The man in the portrait smiled. 'Mine too. My name is Silas Persimmon. It's a pleasure to meet you. Few people stop to talk to us portraits. It gets quite lonely sometimes.'

Remus felt a pang of sympathy. He knew what it was like to be lonely. 'I'm sorry to hear that, sir. I'm Remus, and these are my friends, Sirius, James and Peter.'

'Hello all,' Silas said cheerfully, greeting the other three as they came over. 'And what are you four up to today?'

'Good afternoon, sir,' Sirius said, bowing to Silas. 'We are on the hunt for Hogwarts' secrets.'

Silas leaned forward in his chair. As he got closer to the picture plane, his face grew bigger and more detailed. 'Well then, you have come to the right portrait. I happen to know there's something hidden behind the portrait three to my left. It opens when you say, "Congratulations." I've seen it happen by accident a couple of times.'

'Thank you, sir,' Sirius said before dashing off to the portrait Silas had indicated. Remus stayed to talk some more. 'Have you been here long?' he asked.

'Sixty-three years.' He sighed. 'It's not a bad existence. I enjoy watching the students go about their days, but it would be nice if they stopped to talk once in a while.'

'I promise I'll visit you when I can,' Remus said.

Sirius had opened the portrait down the landing and returned breathless. 'There's a door behind it but it's locked. Do you know how to open it, sir?'

'Oh, I am sorry, young man. I have no idea,' Silas said, shaking his head.

'Damn. Okay, thank you anyway. I'm sure we can figure it out,' Sirius said before dashing off again.

'My, that one has a lot of energy,' Silas said with a chuckle.

Remus laughed. 'He never stops. I better go and help, but I will come back and talk to you. I promise.'

'I look forward to it. Have a nice time with your friends. It was a pleasure to meet you, Remus.'

'You too. Bye,' Remus said. He waved goodbye as he turned and walked over to where Sirius, James and Peter were examining the door, wands in hand.

It was made from aged black wood and had a series of runes carved into the surface.

'What have you tried?' Remus asked.

'Tapping them in different orders and combinations,' Sirius said. 'We figure it's a combination lock.'

'Could be,' Remus said. 'Could also be a clue or a password.'

'Any idea what they mean?' James asked.

'No, I'm afraid not,' Remus said, leaning forward for a better look. 'But I could do some research in the library and find out.'

'That would be brilliant,' James said. 'Sounds like a lot of work though. You don't mind?'

Remus shook his head and pulled the notebook from his bag. He leant the book up against the door and copied the runes painstakingly into the notebook as accurately as he could. Excitement fizzed deep in his belly. This was going to be fun.

-o-o-o-o-

They hadn't seen much of Remus on Sunday. He had hidden himself away in the library, researching the runes from the door. Sirius was on an emotional high from spending the whole of Saturday with him, though, and knowing he was away doing something for the group made his absence easier to deal with. Remus had returned to the dorm late on Sunday evening saying he had made some progress with the runes but was still unsure of the meaning of one and would need to return to the library to finish. Knowing they had a long day ahead of them as Monday had no free periods, they all went to bed early after an exhausting but productive weekend.

Sirius awoke at six o'clock Monday morning to the darkness of the dormitory. The sun wouldn't rise for another half an hour, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep any longer thanks to his cursed mother. So, he got up and readied himself for the day before lounging on his bed to read while he waited for the others to wake up.

An hour and a half later, they were up, and Sirius, James and Peter were walking into the Great Hall, Remus having parted from them to head to the kitchen. They sat down in a clear spot near one end of the long table and piled their plates with food. James insisted that they both take some fruit too.

They were halfway through their meal when the post arrived in a flurry of wings. A regal-looking screech owl landed in front of him, and Sirius glared at it when it held out its leg with a letter attached.

'Bite me and I'll hex you, you got that?' Sirius said to his mother's owl.

The owl hopped closer and stared back at him with a haughty expression, continuing to hold its leg out. Sirius reached for the letter and untied it, but before he could pull his hand away, the owl bent down and bit his finger hard before taking to the air with an ear-piercing shriek.

'Fuck!' Sirius yelled, snatching his hand back and staring at his bleeding finger. 'Bloody bird.'

He put his bleeding finger into his mouth and sucked at it to ease the pain.

'Guess I'd better see what the old bitch wants,' he said, glaring at the tightly rolled scroll in his hand. He unrolled it and felt a jolt of happiness when he recognised his brother's handwriting. His joy soon gave way to anger though when he read the contents of the letter.

_Dear Sirius,_

_I'm writing this letter at midnight, hiding in your room. I hope you don't mind. I'm sorry for not writing to you sooner, but I'm afraid that when Mother heard of your sorting, she forbade me from writing to you at all. Her reasoning for this is a belief that, even in writing, your "Gryffindor sickness will infect me." It's ridiculous, is it not? Please do not write back or she'll know I've disobeyed her, but I simply could not allow you to think I hated you too._

_I hope you are happy in Gryffindor, Sirius._

_Your eternally faithful brother,_

_Regulus_

Sirius felt his eyes burning, and, knowing blinking would cause the tears to fall, stared at the words on the parchment with his eyes as wide as he could make them. He would not cry at the dining table with the entire school present. But Merlin, how he hated his mother. He had known it was a risk being sorted into a house other than Slytherin, had known his mother would be furious, but he hadn't expected her to go this far. How dare she try to come between him and Reggie? The only person in the house who ever spoke to him kindly.

The burning in his eyes had moved to his chest now. He no longer wanted to cry, he wanted to rage.

'Hey, you alright mate?' James asked. 'It's just, you look about ready to murder someone.'

Sirius thrust the letter out to James, not willing to speak yet, and James read through it quickly before passing it to Peter and looking back up at him, his eyes full of sympathy.

'Merlin, I'm so sorry,' James said, reaching across the table to pat his hand, which he realised was clenched into a fist. 'Your mum is a complete gorgon, isn't she?'

'At least it sounds like your brother disagrees with her. He's not abandoning you,' Peter said, passing the letter back to Sirius.

Sirius knew they were trying to help, but he couldn't take it. He wanted—no; he needed—to be alone right now.

Abruptly getting to his feet, he tried to communicate this need to his friends.

'I'll see you in Herbology,' he said. James and Peter both nodded, so Sirius assumed they understood what he meant and left the Great Hall, dashing to the closest hidden passage that he knew of and finally letting himself cry. Why was his life so shit?

Half an hour later, they were planting mistletoe seeds in Herbology, and Sirius kept to his own tray, not speaking to his friends during the lesson. But he noticed the worried glances between James and Peter and the concerned expression on Remus' face whenever he glanced up. Transfiguration was harder. Remus had continued to sit next to him in this class, and as much as Sirius didn't want to alienate him, when Remus started bemoaning his perfect needle's bluntness, he snapped.

'Oh, will you shut the fuck up about your pathetic issues? Some of us have actual problems to worry about!' he hissed, slapping his hand on the desk and making Remus jump out of his skin. He instantly regretted the outburst. The expression of hurt and confusion on Remus' face, which moments later melted into understanding resignation, stabbed him through the heart. But he didn't have the strength to calm himself down and repair the damage, not right then. He just couldn't do it, and the guilt only intensified his rage.

Sirius turned away so Remus wouldn't see the regret in his eyes. With a speed born of guilt and grief, shame and anguish, he got to his feet, stormed over to Professor McGonagall's desk and gently placed his perfect silver needle, formerly a matchstick, in front of her.

In his most polite voice, he asked very quietly, 'Professor, may I please be excused? It's a personal matter. I feel I need some time alone.'

Professor McGonagall glanced at the needle on her desk before moving her eyes to Sirius' face and searching it for clues. He got the feeling she could see the entire story written in his eyes. She nodded.

'Thank you,' he breathed, relief flooding him as he escaped the room and fled, looking for somewhere to hide.


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really excited about this chapter, let me know what you think :)

Monday, 13th September 1971, 9:30 pm

Remus was lying on his bed curled into a ball with his knees tucked into his chest and his arms wrapped around them, and he was trying very hard not to make a sound while he sobbed. It hadn't taken long for it to all be ruined. After just four days of his company, Sirius was sick of him to the point of shouting at him and bolting. Remus had been stunned for a minute after Sirius stormed from the Transfiguration classroom. His ears had been buzzing; he had been aware that James was saying something to him, but he hadn't heard a word. A few minutes later, class ended and Remus had gathered his things and left without a word to the others. He would make this easy for them. They'd been kind and welcoming to him; he didn't want to put them through the moral struggle of deciding who to side with. Sirius was their friend first.

Remus had continued to avoid them for the rest of the day. He spent lunch in the kitchen with the house-elves where he discovered that Breen made for a very good listening ear, and the very serious elf advised him not to jump to conclusions without knowing all the facts. Remus ignored this advice. He knew all the facts already. It was simple. Sirius was fed up with him and didn't want to be around him anymore. He'd known it would happen eventually. It was a little surprising that it only took four days, but that just meant he was weirder than he thought.

In Charms, they continued their work on Finite Incantatum, and he sat alone at the back of the class. He didn't look towards his dorm mates' corner on the other side of the room, but he felt their eyes on him several times during the lesson. He didn't understand why they would keep looking at him when he was giving them what they wanted, but he kept his eyes on the dancing dollhouse furniture on his desk that he was supposed to be ending the charm on and ignored them.

In Defence, Lily had given him a confused look when he sat down heavily next to her.

'Remus? Are you okay?' she asked.

Remus was surprised she'd realised he was upset just from looking at him. Generally, he didn't show his emotions on his face. He wondered if he should tell her the truth about what was on his mind, but decided against it. She wasn't nosy or pushy, but he still thought it best to keep her at arm's length.

'Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit tired. Mondays are hard,' he said.

'Aren't they? I can't understand why we have so many free periods the rest of the week, and none on a Monday.'

The Defence lesson went without a hitch. Emhio turned into a type of giant snake called a basilisk which was scary, but it was incredible to have the opportunity to study such a rare creature without risk. A few of the students who had snake phobias were too afraid to approach and took notes from the back of the class. Remus pretended to be one of them to avoid the crowd around Emhio, but wished he could get closer too.

After classes were done for the day, Remus went to the library to complete his homework and then to the kitchens, where he stayed until curfew. He hid in the common room until nine-fifteen, but when his eyes started drifting closed, he knew he couldn't avoid the dorm room any longer and proceeded upstairs with a sick weight, heavy in his stomach.

The others had all looked up from their various occupations when he entered, but he kept his eyes on the ground and hurried to his bed, drawing the curtains around him to shut them out before they could say anything.

And there he lay, trying to stay silent while he cried. Wishing he was normal so he could have friends for longer than four days without driving them off. He knew it would never happen, but it was all he wanted in life. Just the impossible. That's all.

-o-o-o-o-

Tuesday 14th September, 11:30 am

As he walked into the Defence classroom on Tuesday morning, Sirius glanced towards the desk Remus always shared with Lily and saw he was already seated, head down, staring at the blank parchment on his desk. The reflex was automatic. Whenever he entered a room, he looked for Remus. It was even worse now that Remus wasn't talking to him. He knew he deserved it, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with.

Sirius took his seat next to James and sighed.

'Just apologise, mate. Tell him what happened. I'm sure he'll understand,' James said.

'I'm trying,' Sirius said, flinging his hands in the air briefly before leaning his chair back on two legs. 'But he won't stay still long enough for me to speak to him, I don't want to do it in the classroom where anyone could hear, and he disappears as soon as class is over.'

Their conversation was interrupted by Professor Hawthorne dragging an enormous trunk into the room. He positioned it in front of Emhio's pool and stood up straight to address the class. The trunk rattled ominously.

'Good morning, class. We will not be needing Emhio's services today, as we'll be studying the real thing. Would anyone like to take a stab at guessing what's in my trunk?'

Several people raised their hands, including James. Sirius did not. He knew the answer, but he was too busy worrying about what would happen next to think about answering the question. Dread hung over him like the thick smog of the London dawn.

'Yes, Mister Stebbins?' Professor Hawthorne asked, calling on one of the Ravenclaw students.

'It's a boggart, sir.'

'Correct. Five points to Ravenclaw,' Professor Hawthorne said.

Sirius zoned out while the Professor explained what a boggart was and how it attacked. He already knew, that was the problem. If Professor Hawthorne was expecting them to go up against the boggart... Well. He wasn't at all sure he wanted everyone there to see what his worst fear was. It all seemed a bit personal.

Glancing around at the other students, he saw many of them appeared equally worried. Remus more so than anyone else. He snapped out of his self-centred concerns and considered why Remus might be so worried. Would his worst fear give a clue to his secret? Sirius resolved to watch closely when it was Remus' turn and turned his attention back to the professor.

'The best defence against a boggart is laughter. The spell I am about to teach you will turn your worst fear into something amusing to enable you to laugh at it. Now, everyone on your feet,' he said, and the students all did as they were told in a cacophony of scraping chairs. Professor Hawthorne then banished the desks and chairs to the side of the room, clearing the floor to allow them the space to spread out.

'Now I want everyone to think about their worst fear. Picture it in your mind,' Professor Hawthorne said. Sirius thought about it. His worst fear up until now was his mother. And her poisonous words and vicious magic. But now he wasn't so sure.

'Now, I want you all to think of a way to make that picture funny. When you have something, shout Riddikulus.'

One by one, the students all opened their eyes and shouted the incantation. When everyone had confirmed they were ready, Professor Hawthorne moved towards the trunk.

'Right, form a line. I want you all to step forward one by one and face the boggart. If you find yourself too afraid to fight, just move to the side to let the next person go. Okay?'

They all nodded and moved to form a line. Sirius, James, and Peter found themselves towards the middle. Sirius craned his neck to see and found Remus, predictably, right at the back.

'Are you ready?' Professor Hawthorne asked the student at the front of the line, a Ravenclaw girl that Sirius didn't recognise. They nodded, gripping their wand so hard their fingers were white, and stepped forward. Professor Hawthorne opened the trunk.

A giant ball of cotton wool floated out, and several students laughed. The Ravenclaw girl shuddered violently and looked like she was going to vomit. But she straightened her spine and flicked her wand.

'Riddikulus,' she shouted. The cotton wool ball burst into flames and shrivelled into a black husk. The Ravenclaw giggled and skipped to the side of the classroom out of the way.

The line continued. Most of the students fought the boggart successfully. Only a few found themselves unable to and chose the easy way out, escaping to the edge of the room. When it was James' turn he strode forwards, took a fighting stance with his legs shoulder-width apart, one foot slightly ahead of the other, brandished his wand, ran a hand through his hair and said, 'Bring it on.'

Sirius chuckled at his overconfidence.

The boggart sized him up and changed into a woman Sirius didn't recognise. She was tall and slim, dressed in smart robes and wearing glasses. She was the opposite of scary. Sirius frowned, confused.

'I'm sorry, Mister Potter. Both of your parents have died. You will have to come and live with me,' the boggart-woman said, holding out her hand.

James' confidence seemed to falter. His legs wobbled, and his wand arm dropped ever so slightly before he squared his shoulders and straightened his spine.

'Riddikulus!' he roared.

The boggart-woman jerked back and morphed into the man Sirius remembered from Platform 9 and 3/4, James' dad. He was bent over double, tears streaming down his face, laughing hysterically.

'You should have seen your face,' the Mr Potter-boggart said. 'You actually thought we were dead.'

James laughed loudly and marched over to the group of successful students. And it was Sirius' turn. He stepped forward nervously, and the boggart stopped laughing and looked at him before morphing into James.

'You disgust me, Black,' the James-boggart said, looking him up and down and sneering. 'You're just like the rest of your vile family. I can't believe I was ever friends with you.'

Merlin! It was so real. Sirius felt a jolt of pain in his chest. He knew it was a Boggart, but his heart didn't, and it looked just like James.

He raised a shaky hand, pointed his wand at the imposter and shouted, 'Riddikulus!'

The James-boggart grew a few inches taller, and its face melted into his mother's. Its hair turned lighter, longer, and formed into a bun on the back of its head. But she was still wearing the Hogwarts, Gryffindor uniform, and seeing his mother dressed that way made him bust up laughing.

'But... but... the polyjuice should have lasted longer than that,' the Walburga-boggart spluttered. Sirius turned away and joined James to watch the rest of the students.

'That's never going to happen, mate. You know that, right?' James said when he reached him.

Sirius nodded, but inside he wasn't so sure, and he wouldn't look James in the eye. Instead, he stared at the front of the class where Peter was facing a swarm of bats.

James nudged him. 'Sirius?'

Sirius ignored him.

'Fine. If you won't believe me, I'll just have to prove it to you. Maybe you'll admit I was right when we graduate and move into our own house together,' James said, crossing his arms in a huff at being ignored.

Sirius turned his head at that. 'Really? You want us to live together after school?'

'Of course,' James said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 'You and me, and Pete too if he wants to, and Remus if he ever speaks to you again. It'll be totally awesome.'

'What will be awesome?' Peter asked, joining them after turning his bats into Halloween decorations, his face a little paler than normal.

'Living together after we graduate,' James said. 'You in?'

Peter grinned and nodded. 'Sounds brilliant.'

'What about you Sirius?' James asked.

Sirius grinned. Learning that James envisaged them still being friends so far into what seemed a very distant future made him feel more secure. He was still worried that he would do something they couldn't forgive, and they would decide he was too much trouble, but it was an improvement. 'Hell yeah, I'm in!' he said.

The line of remaining students had diminished to two. Evans was up, and the boggart had become a young girl with a long face who was sneering at her and saying something Sirius couldn't hear. Lily attempted the spell, but nothing happened, and she ran from the boggart with her hands covering her eyes. James left to offer her comfort, Sirius assumed, and Remus moved forwards.

The boggart wavered for a moment and turned into a silvery orb, before flickering and becoming a female corpse on the floor. The bloodied woman looked like she had been torn apart by some kind of animal.

'That was weird,' Peter said. 'Why would anyone be afraid of a crystal ball?'

'Maybe the boggart is getting confused,' Sirius said. He was certain that wasn't it, though. The boggart hadn't become a crystal ball at all. Sirius knew exactly what it was. He had spent enough nights locked in his bedroom staring at the real thing because he was too hungry to sleep. Remus' boggart had become the full moon, and there was only one reason he could think of that anyone would be afraid of the full moon. Sirius' body went cold, and his mind flew back to the list he had written in his journal and the conclusion he had dismissed as ridiculous.

Remus _was_ a werewolf. Fuck.

Sirius had learnt about werewolves in his tutoring sessions. They were feral beasts with no self-control. Rabid, and always on the hunt for humans to hurt. Nothing but mindless animals, with no humanity or intelligence.

He looked at Remus again. His small, slim body standing in an attack stance in front of a bloody corpse on the floor. The way he moved his wand through the air in a perfect arc. His smooth pronunciation of the incantation. The concentration in the creases at the corner of his eyes. The twitch of his cheeks as the corner of his mouth travelled up when he smiled at his success, while the class erupted in laughter as the bloodied corpse became a dancing puppet on strings.

There was nothing feral or mindless about Remus. He was top of the class, even on a bad day. He had more self-control in his little finger than Sirius possessed in his entire body. And he was more likely to curl up in front of the fire with a book than go out on the hunt for humans. Once again, he had to conclude that everything he'd been taught was wrong. Werewolves were just people. People with a horrible disease.

Sirius grinned to himself. He would definitely be able to prove Remus wrong if he was expecting to be rejected by Sirius for the mere crime of being a werewolf.

-o-o-o-o-

After lunch, Remus spent the afternoon in the library researching the runes from the hidden door. Even though he wasn't speaking to Sirius, or by extension, James or Peter, any more, he still felt an obligation to follow through on his promise. He made some progress but was still unsure of the meaning of the final rune when he realised it was time for Potions club, not that he wanted to go. He was, in fact, dreading spending the extra time in an enclosed space with ingredients and potion fumes, but he knew he needed the help. It was the only class he was worried about failing.

Remus packed up his things and headed down to the dungeons. The Potions club was being held a few rooms down from their usual Potions classroom, and he approached the door with trepidation. Peeking in, he saw a number of students of different ages dotted around the room and working on potions. Some were working alone, others in pairs or small groups. Professor Slughorn sat at the front of the room behind his desk, doing some form of paperwork. He glanced up periodically to check on the students, but otherwise didn't pay them too much attention.

'Remus! Hi! Come join us. We're making a cough potion,' a voice called from across the room.

Remus turned his head towards the sound and saw Lily, with a big smile on her face, waving at him from next to a scowling Snape. Remus swallowed hard. Lily didn't know what Snape had done to him, and he didn't want her to. As far as she knew, he had no reason not to join them, but he really didn't want to work with Snape.

Remus shuffled his way towards them anyway, weaving through the other students carefully.

'Hi, Lily,' he said. 'Snape.' Remus took a deep breath through his nose and detected the unmistakable stench of stinksap. He hadn't worked out where it was coming from yet then.

'Lupin,' Snape replied with a nod and a sneer.

'I'll just work on something next to you. I don't want to interfere with your work,' Remus said. It was obvious Snape did not want him there.

Snape smirked and turned back to his cauldron, and Remus set himself up at the next desk over, flicking through his potions book to decide what to make. His head was already swimming from the fumes in the enclosed space. He hoped spending more time in that environment would help him build up some kind of resistance.

Deciding to brew the cough potion too, Remus fetched himself some water and left it to come to the boil while he retrieved the ingredients he needed from the storage cabinet in the room. There were only three ingredients in the cough potion: lemongrass, honeywater and dragon's blood. It should be manageable, he thought.

Remus returned to his cauldron to find it bubbling. He tapped the extinguish rune, and the fire went out, causing the water inside to calm. After checking the instructions with difficulty through his blurred eyes, he measured out five drops of honeywater and added them to the cauldron before stirring three times clockwise and four anti-clockwise. He set his desk timer for five minutes and tapped the "low heat" rune to allow the mixture to simmer.

Remus rubbed his temples. A dull ache had sprouted up on either side of his eyes, and it was steadily getting worse. He glanced over at Lily and Snape; they were deep in conversation about something, but he noticed Lily seemed to be keeping her distance from Snape. Remus smirked to himself. James' idea had been truly brilliant. His smile dropped when he remembered they weren't speaking anymore.

Turning his attention back to the potion to take his mind off the situation with Sirius and the others, he checked the book again. He was supposed to add the lemongrass next, and it needed to be finely chopped. Remus recalled the mistake he'd made making the wormwood infusion. Finely chopped did not mean ground to dust, it still needed to be strainable.

He rubbed his eyes in an effort to clear them—the last thing he needed was to chop a finger off—and placed the lemongrass stalks on the chopping board. He sliced them into small pieces and, feeling proud of his efforts, added them to the cauldron when the timer went off. The potion bubbled and hissed. He didn't think that was supposed to happen.

Panicking, he grabbed the textbook and checked the instructions.

_"After the brew has simmered for five minutes, apply cold-fire and add the finely chopped lemongrass, sprinkling around the edges."_

Shit! He had just dumped it in the middle, and he hadn't even turned off the heat. Frantic, Remus grabbed his wand off the desk and tapped the cold fire rune, hoping to bring down the temperature before the mixture boiled over. It didn't work. With a loud bang, the potion exploded in his face.

'Arghh!' he screamed. He couldn't see. The mixture had coated his face and eyes, and it was sticking to his skin like treacle, and he could hear Lily and Snape making similar cries of pain next to him.

Remus took a deep breath to calm himself. His heart was racing, and his face and arms were burning, but he was used to pain, and he needed to think rationally. Being blind made him vulnerable. He needed to be able to see, so he could prevent anyone from touching him. Using the bottom of his robes, he wiped the cooling goop off his face so he could open his eyes. His skin was still burning, but now he could see.

He glanced to his right and saw Lily wiping potion off of her arm and the side of her face. Angry red marks marred her pale skin where the potion had been, and she was wincing. Snape was less badly affected but also had red splotches on his left arm and the left side of his face. He was glaring at Remus.

Slughorn rushed towards them.

'Hospital wing, all three of you. Don't worry, I'll clean up here, and I'll have a house-elf bring you your things.'

Remus nodded and rushed from the room. He wasn't worried about his things; he was terrified his skin would heal before he got behind the privacy of a hospital bed curtain. With his heart racing, he ran full tilt up several flights of stairs and down multiple corridors, not stopping until he reached the hospital wing and burst through the doors.

'Remus!' Madam Pomfrey said, jumping ever so slightly at his entrance. 'Whatever is the matter?'

'Potions accident,' he said, bent over double and panting for breath. 'You need... to hide me... before I heal... others coming.'

Madam Pomfrey jumped to work without a moment's hesitation. 'Right, get on this bed. I'll be back in a second,' she said, indicating the bed closest to him.

Remus did as she told him and, as promised, Madam Pomfrey returned seconds later holding a pot of bright orange healing paste.

'The burns are already healed. You'll have to tell me where to put this,' she said.

'The potion covered my whole face, arms and chest, but I don't know if it burnt me through my clothes. It hurt, though.'

'Yes, it would have. We'll just get your face done for now though, before the others get here. We can draw the curtains after that,' Madam Pomfrey said. She conjured gloves onto her hands and smoothed the thick, orange paste over his face, making sure to cover every inch of skin. And not a moment too soon. She drew back just as Lily and Snape entered the room.

'Oh, Remus, are you okay?' Lily asked when she saw him sitting on the bed. 'You ran out so fast, you must have been in awful pain.'

'I'm alright now. What about you? I'm so sorry you got hurt,' Remus said, feeling guilty that she was worrying about him when he had only taken minutes to heal and she was still injured.

'I only have a few little burns, and Severus even less. You were coated in it though,' she said.

'Come along, I need to finish treating Mister Lupin, and he needs some privacy,' Madam Pomfrey said, leading Lily and Snape to two beds on the other side of the room. She returned to Remus and drew the curtains around him before casting a silencing charm.

'I don't think it's necessary to apply the paste to the rest of the affected area, but I'll have to stay here for a few minutes, so they think I'm doing it,' she said.

Remus looked up at her. She was chewing her lip and looked anxious. 'I feel bad keeping you here. They actually need treatment,' Remus said. 'Can't you tell them I'm applying the paste myself? Lily knows I don't like to be touched, so she'd believe it.

Madam Pomfrey looked relieved by the suggestion. 'Yes, that's a good idea,' she said.

She slid out between the curtains without opening them.

'Mister Lupin insists he can apply his own paste,' Madam Pomfrey said. 'So I'll take a look at you now. What's your name, dear?'

'Lily Evans.'

Remus lay back on the bed and breathed a sigh of relief. That disaster had been averted, but he needed to be much more careful in the future.


	16. Chapter 15

Wednesday, 15th September 1971, 2.10 pm

After tip-toeing out of the dorm so he wouldn't wake the others, Sirius hurried down the stairs and across the common room. He was using the pre-Astronomy-class afternoon nap to visit the library because he didn't want his friends to catch him with the type of book he needed to look at. Especially not Remus, if he could still call him a friend. Remus hadn't spoken to him since Sirius had snapped at him in Transfiguration. Knowing what he now did, he couldn't blame him either. If anyone had real, actual problems, it was Remus. He hoped he would give him a chance to apologise soon.

Sirius reached the library and hurried to the Creatures and Beings section, pulling down two books with titles relevant to werewolves and sitting on the floor to look at them. He didn't have long.

What he found was horrifying.

The first book he looked at was titled _The Curse of the Moon_. He flicked through the pages, looking at the illustrations of transforming werewolves, their faces contorted in pain, and cringed. It looked agonising. Was that what Remus had to go through every month? Were these books accurate? Merlin, he hoped the pictures were exaggerated. The text talked about the effect of the moon on the infected individual, forcing them to morph into a wolf every month, from moon-rise to moon-set, through a painful process of transformation. Sirius already knew that.

The second book was more useful: _The Short Life of a Lycanthrope_. Sirius had hoped the title was misleading, but it wasn't. The book began with the information that people infected with lycanthropy rarely live for more than ten years. The most common cause of death was suicide, either by the man or the wolf. Sirius didn't know how long Remus had been infected, but even if it had happened days before starting school, that would only make him twenty-one at the most when he died. The thought was unbearable. He had to find a way to help.

The book offered a number of useful snippets.

 _Chocolate is good at easing the pain after transformation._ That would be easy to achieve. Sirius could make a habit of handing chocolate out in the dorm, so they wouldn't notice anything strange when he did it after a full moon.

 _A lycanthrope's senses become extra sensitive close to the full moon._ Sirius made a mental note to be less exuberant around Remus at those times. He didn't want to cause him more suffering on top of the transformations.

 _The infection can only be passed on if the wolf's saliva enters an open wound, so lycanthropes are only dangerous when in wolf form._ Remus' issues with touch must be unrelated, Sirius thought. As if lycanthropy wasn't enough, he had to get a phobia on top. Life really hadn't been fair to him.

 _Werewolves are only dangerous to humans. They have no digestive system and, therefore, no need to eat and have been observed behaving in a friendly and playful manner towards animals._ That might be useful to explore. Could they get him a pet to keep him company?

 _Lycanthropes are often short-tempered and volatile._ Sirius had seen no evidence that was true. Sure, Remus had been angry at him a couple of times, but considering the circumstances, those outbursts had been understandable. Sirius wasn't so vain he couldn't admit he was often annoying.

 _Lycanthropes often lack intelligence and self-control._ Okay, this book was getting insulting, Sirius thought, slamming it closed. There was nothing wrong with Remus' intelligence or his self-control.

Sirius scrambled to his feet and replaced the books where he'd found them. He mused over what he'd learned as he made his way back to the dorm to pretend he'd been asleep the whole time. Remus was suffering. Every month he was forced to endure horrible pain that he couldn't avoid, but there were things Sirius could do to help. Should he tell Remus that he knew, though? It might make things easier for him if he knew there was one person he didn't have to hide it from. Then again, how would he feel if someone found out his secrets when he didn't trust them? Most likely scared and upset.

No, he decided. He would keep it to himself and wait for Remus to choose to tell him. That was the best thing to do. And in the meantime, he would provide him with lots of chocolate, and make sure he got quiet time around the full moon.

-o-o-o-o-

The next afternoon, Remus made his way to the art club, which was being held on the second floor in the west wing. He had been avoiding his dorm-mates for three and a half days, and despite having only spent a few days in their company, he missed them. The feeling was alien to him; he'd never had anyone to miss before. His parents were always around, and there was no one else in his life before he came to Hogwarts. It was a deep ache in his chest and a heaviness in his limbs. Every time he heard their voices or smelled their unique scents he got the urge to find them, speak to them, beg them to be his friend. Merlin, he was pathetic.

Remus hoped the art club would take his mind off things. But as he drew closer to the room, he smelt it. Wood smoke and soap faintly interlaced with vanilla. Sirius. His heart rate picked up. This wasn't fair. He reached the door and poked his head around to look. Yes, sure enough, there was Sirius, sitting alone at a desk with his head bent over a piece of parchment. His long hair had fallen forward, and he was bent so low the ends were trailing on the desk.

A seventh year Hufflepuff girl with a prefect's badge stood up and hurried over to him. 'Hello, come on in. Everyone is welcome here. What's your name?' she said, holding out a hand for him to shake.

Remus took a step back and held his hands in front of him in defence. 'Remus Lupin, please don't touch me,' he said. 'Don't be offended. It's a phobia.'

The Hufflepuff prefect looked surprised for a moment, but recovered quickly. 'Of course. Why don't you find somewhere to sit? We're just doing some drawing this week, anything you like. Then next week we'll do feedback and advice.'

Remus nodded and looked around. Sirius had glanced up from his drawing and was staring at him, his eyes intense. He jerked his head in the universal sign of "come here." Remus felt his stomach flip over but obeyed. He didn't want to make a scene.

'Please sit down and talk to me. I need to apologise to you, but you've been avoiding me for days,' Sirius said when he reached him.

Remus nodded and sat down next to him. He could see the picture Sirius was working on now. It was an image of a young boy with long black hair, and it looked remarkably like Sirius.

'That's really good,' he said. 'Is it a self-portrait?'

'Ha, no. It's my little brother Reggie,' Sirius said, glancing at the picture and back at Remus. 'I got a letter from him on Monday at breakfast. It's why I was in a crappy mood and yelled at you in class. I really am sorry, Remus. I shouldn't have taken it out on you.'

Remus was confused as to why a letter from his brother would put him in a bad mood. 'Do you not get along? Did he say something nasty in the letter?'

Sirius sighed and leant back in his chair, pushing his hair back from his face. 'No, we get along fine. His letter informed me that our mother has forbidden him from communicating with me in case my Gryffindor infection rubs off on him.'

Remus was shocked. 'That seems a little extreme,' he said.

Sirius shrugged. 'Yeah, well. That's my mother,' he said, his tone uncaring, before looking down at his hands. His body language contradicted his throwaway words.

'I'm sorry, Sirius. That must have been really upsetting.' Remus wanted to do something to offer comfort and show there were no hard feelings. Okay, he thought. Two layers of fabric should be safe. His dad did it every month to apparate him into his cage after all. He pulled the end of his sleeve down to cover his hand and placed his cloth-covered hand on the back of Sirius' cloth-covered shoulder for just a moment before jerking it away. Sirius looked up at him with wide eyes.

'You... You touched me,' he said.

Remus coughed. 'Yeah. Don't get used to it. That was scary,' he said, shaking his sleeve back down his arm and inspecting his hand. His heart was racing, and he felt like he might throw up. He shouldn't have done that. This was exactly why he should avoid friendships. Friends made you do stupid things without even trying. His resolve was wavering, though. He wanted this so much.

'Thank you,' Sirius said. His tone was sincere and serious. 'That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.'

Remus nodded and smiled. 'You're welcome.' He pulled out a piece of parchment from his bag. 'Now, why don't you show me how to draw,' he said.

Sirius' face lit up in a breath-taking grin, and Remus felt his stomach flip again but for a different reason.

-o-o-o-o-

One great night's sleep and two delicious meals later, Sirius was sitting in Transfiguration next to Remus and marvelling at his friend's skill. He had turned his red bead into an orange bead on only his third attempt. And it was a perfect bright orange, not a hint of red left in it.

'Well done, mate,' he said. 'Tell me how you did it.'

'You just have to picture it really clearly in your mind,' Remus said, shrugging like it was simple.

'Ugh, that's what I'm doing,' Sirius moaned, slouching back in his chair and throwing his hands into the air. 'It doesn't work!'

'Keep trying,' Remus said, smiling. Sirius liked it when he smiled, it made his dimples show. 'I'm sure you'll get the hang of it soon.'

Sirius kept trying and by the end of the lesson was able to give his bead a faint orange tint. The final lesson of the day, Herbology, passed in a long and boring lecture on the correct method of planting anjelica, followed by a thirty-minute practical where they each planted their own tray of thirty anjelica seeds. They all returned to their dorm filthy and went for a shower before congregating in the dorm room. Remus had something to tell them.

'I think I've worked out the message on the hidden door we found last weekend,' he said, pulling out the notebook and sitting cross-legged on the floor before placing it, open to the correct page, on the floor in front of him. Sirius, James and Peter moved closer so they could see the pages. Remus pointed to the first symbol. 'This means "speech" or "speak". I think it means we have to say something.'

'Makes sense,' Sirius said, and James and Peter both nodded.

Remus pointed to the second symbol. 'This one means truth or honesty. Combined with the first one, I'm guessing it means you have to speak the truth.'

They all nodded.

Pointing to the third symbol, Remus said, 'This one was the hardest to work out because it's not a single rune but three different ones combined. They're the runes for new life, day and annual. I think it means birthday.'

Sirius nodded. 'So we have to tell the door it's our birthday and be telling the truth?'

'That's the conclusion I came too, yes,' Remus said. 'My birthday isn't until March. Are any of yours sooner?'

James shook his head. 'Also March.'

'August for me,' Peter said.

'Mine's the 3rd of November,' Sirius said. 'But I don't want to wait that long. Surely we can find someone with a birthday sooner if we ask around.'

James jumped to his feet. 'Yeah, I bet we can. Come on.'

They rushed down to the common room, and James climbed up onto a table and stomped his foot hard three times before cupping his hands around his mouth and shouting, 'Hey, everyone!'

Silence fell and every head in the room turned in their direction. Sirius jumped up onto the table next to him.

'We're looking for someone who has a birthday soon. Anyone?' James said.

The students all looked at each other with confusion on their faces. Some shook their heads and went back to whatever they had been doing. The two ginger-haired boys who had been watching them before were whispering to each other. One of them nodded, and they both got to their feet and strolled towards them.

'It's our birthday tomorrow. What's this all about?' one said.

James and Sirius jumped down from the table.

'Tomorrow? Brilliant,' James said. 'Come with us. We'll tell you all about it.'

They led the boys back to their dorm room and shut the door.

'I'm James, and this is Sirius, Peter and Remus,' James said, pointing at each of them as he said their name.

'Fabian,' Fabian said, pointing at himself. He moved his hand to point at his brother. 'And Gideon.'

'Pleasure to meet you,' James said. 'Getting down to business, the reason we need you is that we've found a secret room, and we have reason to believe it can only be opened by someone on their birthday.'

'Well now,' Gideon said, rubbing his hands together and grinning at his brother. 'That sounds like our kind of thing.'

'It certainly does. When do you want us to meet you? We have plans tomorrow evening, but we're free in the morning,' Fabian said.

'After breakfast? Say, nine o'clock?' Sirius suggested.

'In the common room?' Gideon asked.

Sirius nodded, and the twins left. James grinned at all of them.

'I can't wait to see what's in that room,' he said.

-o-o-o-o-

The next morning, Remus was rudely awoken by Sirius and James bouncing around the room like a pair of excitable pygmy puffs at seven in the morning.

'Please will you explain why in Merlin's name we need to be awake two hours before we're meeting them?' Remus said from underneath his pillow.

'Because,' James said, 'how can anyone sleep on a day like today?'

'Quite easily if their roommates are quiet,' Remus grumbled. But he pulled himself out of bed anyway and was greeted by loud cheers when he emerged from the bathroom, showered and dressed.

At nine o'clock, they were all back in the common room waiting for the twins to arrive, and with it being so early on a Saturday, the older students were sleeping in, and they were able to nab the best seats in the room, right next to the fire.

Fabian and Gideon sauntered in through the portrait hole at five past and approached them, sporting identical grins.

'Ready?' they said in unison.

'Always,' James said.

James led the way to the hidden door, and Remus trailed along at the back of the group. He felt safe enough with his friends; he knew they respected his boundaries, but he didn't know the twins and wanted to keep his distance.

They reached the portrait that hid the door, and James opened it with a muttered, 'Congratulations.' The portrait swung open, and James stepped back, waving the twins forward.

Gideon and Fabian stepped up to the door and examined the runes.

'Did you translate these?' Fabian asked.

'Remus did,' Sirius said, waving his hand in Remus' general direction.

Fabian and Gideon looked Remus up and down appraisingly. 'Nice job.'

Remus felt his face warm. 'Thanks,' he mumbled

'Let's find out if you got it right,' Gideon said, turning back to his brother with a wicked grin. They both faced the door and in unison said, 'It's my birthday.'

Remus' heart picked up. This was it. How embarrassing it would be if he was wrong. He need not have worried though. His translation was perfect, and with a quiet fanfare that seemed to echo from the stone walls themselves, the door clicked open.

The open door revealed a compact room with another door on the opposite wall. The walls were made of the same stone as the rest of the castle, but the floor was white marble, and a chandelier dangled from the centre of the ceiling, directly above a wooden table. On the table, there was a birthday cake.

It was big enough to feed twenty people. The frosting was white and frothy, and it was decorated with iced roses. The strangest thing about the cake though was the single, lit candle standing upright in the middle. It was of the standard birthday variety, and by rights should have burned away to nothing a long time ago.

When they entered, a message appeared on the wall to their left, in glowing orange letters.

_If you manage to extinguish the blaze,_

_on twenty-eight consecutive days._

_a reward awaits you through that door,_

_but wait, don't start yet, there are two things more._

_The flame won't yield, just so you know,_

_if it's not your birthday, the day you blow._

_And if you start but fail to finish,_

_your chances of success diminish,_

_for I will move to another location_

_and you must re-find me through exploration._

The boys all glanced at each other.

'So we have to blow the candle out twenty-eight days in a row, but it can only be blown out by somebody on their birthday?' James said, frowning.

'That would seem to be the case,' Gideon said.

'But if you miss a day, not only do you have to start again, but you have to find it again too,' Fabian added.

'So, what do you want to do? It's your find, so it's your decision. Do you want Fab to blow it out?' Gideon asked.

'Why Fabian?' Remus said.

'Well, aren't you a sharp one? I wondered if any of you would catch that,' Gideon said, turning towards Remus. 'Technically, it's not my birthday until tomorrow. I was born one minute after midnight, but we always celebrate together.'

'That's brilliant,' James said. 'That gives us an extra day to find more people.'

'There are about four hundred students in the school,' Remus said. 'There's no guarantee we'll be able to find someone with a birthday every day for the next four weeks.'

'There's no reward without risk,' Sirius said. 'I vote we blow out the candle and get to work.'

'I second that,' James said.

'I third that?' Peter said, sounding unsure.

'That's settled then,' James said. 'Fabian, if you would.' James waved his hand towards the cake, and Fabian moved closer, bent down and blew. The candle went out, and the fanfare sounded again, as a glowing white light appeared in the top left-hand corner of the wall, with a message underneath saying "Happy birthday, Fabian Prewett." A moment later the candle re-lit itself.

'Prewett?' Sirius said. 'I think we're related.'

'Cousins,' Gideon said. 'Our mother is your father's sister. They don't get along though. We were told not to talk to any Blacks, but we've been watching you. You seem different from the others.'

Sirius lit up like a muggle lightbulb. 'I am different.'

'Glad to hear it,' Gideon said.

Looks like it's going to keep track for you,' Fabian said, nodding towards the white circle of light. 'We'll meet you back here tomorrow morning, same time, but we have things to do now. Good luck.'

The twins nodded to the four boys and left. James looked around at them and huffed. 'Well, come on then. What are you waiting for? We have less than two days to find someone with a birthday on the twentieth of September,' he said, before sprinting past Remus and out of the room.

'Do you think he has a plan?' Remus asked, staring after him.

'I doubt it,' Sirius said.

Peter laughed. 'Extremely unlikely.'

Remus turned his head to look at them. 'Should we go after him?'

'Maybe,' Sirius said.

Peter shrugged. 'He'll probably be back in ten minutes if we wait.'

'Let's go back to the dorm. He's sure to realise at some point that we need a plan,' Sirius said.

James arrived at their dorm, out of breath, half an hour later. Remus and Peter were putting the finishing touches on a large poster they intended to hang on the notice board in the Gryffindor common room. It was garish and eye-catching, with bold black lettering requesting the attention of anyone with a birthday on or before October the fifteenth to help unlock a Hogwarts mystery, and instructing them to contact them at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. Sirius was sitting a little away from them, drawing up a third poster. The second was on the floor next to him, awaiting Remus and Peter to add the colour.

'Come and sit down, James. We need to colour three more of these for the other houses,' Remus said.

'Two,' Sirius said.

Remus sighed, they'd already had this argument several times. 'We're not excluding Slytherin, Sirius. That would reduce our pool of students by a quarter.'

Sirius growled. Actually growled at him.

'You don't scare me,' Remus said.

'Urgh, fine,' Sirius said, flopping back onto the floor.

Remus turned back to James, who had walked over and was inspecting the poster. 'What do you think?'

'It's brilliant,' James said and glanced over to where Sirius was dramatically laying on the floor as if suffering some great trauma. 'You're a fantastic artist, Sirius.'

Sirius pinged upright and grinned. 'Thanks, mate!' He leapt to his feet and dashed over to James, flinging his arms around him and squeezing hard.

'Argh, get off, you great lump,' James said, laughing and prying Sirius' arms from his waist.

Sirius released James and returned to his drawing, and James joined Remus and Peter at the colouring-in station.

They got the posters finished by lunch-time and left to hang them in the house common rooms. Gryffindor's was easy. They simply walked up and stuck it to the notice board. The other houses were somewhat more difficult.

'We can use the invisibility cloak to sneak in and put them up,' Peter suggested.

'No, that would give us away, the posters have our names on,' James said.

'Well, I think I know where the Ravenclaw common room is. Let's start with that one,' Sirius said.

They all agreed, and taking the posters with them, hurried across the school to Ravenclaw tower.

They reached the bottom of the spiral staircase that Sirius claimed to have seen the Ravenclaws climbing and made their way up. At the top, they found a door with no lock or handle, just plain, aged wood and a bronze door knocker in the shape of an eagle.

'I guess we knock then?' Sirius said, his tone questioning.

James reached out and lifted the knocker, letting it hit the door once.

The beak of the eagle opened and a soft, musical voice said, 'What is hard to find, easy to lose, is worth more the less you have, and can never be owned, only shared?'

'Do you think we just answer the question, and it lets us in?' James said. 'That seems a bit easy.'

'Maybe we only get one try,' Peter said.

'We better be careful then,' James said. 'What do you think? Hard to find and easy to lose? That could be anything small, right?'

Sirius and Peter both nodded. Remus wasn't sure they were on the right track, though. He was thinking about the one thing in his life he had had the most difficulty finding, and how easy it would be to lose them.

'Worth more the less you have?' Sirius said. 'What becomes more valuable the less you have of it?'

Remus only had three, and they were worth more to him than his life, he would risk everything to not lose them, was risking everything.

'Anything, really,' Peter said, shrugging. 'If you don't have much, you care about it more.'

'Can never be owned, only shared,' James said, his tone thoughtful. 'Everything can be owned, can't it? If you have enough money.'

'Not everything,' Peter said. 'We can't own the air, but that's not hard to find, it's everywhere.'

'I don't think the answer is a physical object,' Remus said. They all turned to look at him and he felt his face heat, so he stared at the floor. 'I think the answer is friendship.'

'You know what? I think he's right,' Sirius said. 'Merlin, we're thick.'

The others laughed, and Sirius turned to the door knocker. 'Friendship,' he said.

'Well reasoned,' the door knocker replied before the door swung open and allowed them to enter.

The crowded Ravenclaw common room was a circular room with arched windows, decorated with blue and bronze silk curtains. The carpet was midnight blue and dotted with bronze stars matching the domed ceiling, and the students were spread out among the tables and chairs that furnished the room. Those closest to the door turned to look at them as the four lions wearing Gryffindor red entered the eagle's territory.

'How did you get in here?' a prefect with long blonde hair demanded, standing up and marching over.

Sirius shrugged. 'We answered the riddle. You really should get better security.'

The prefect crossed her arms. 'Why are you here?'

'We'd like to put this up on your noticeboard if that's okay?' James said, holding up the poster.

The prefect took the poster and examined it. 'What's this mystery exactly?' she asked.

'Well, if we knew, it wouldn't be a mystery would it,' Sirius said.

Remus stepped forward. 'What Sirius means is, we don't know what will happen, exactly. But the room we found promised a "reward" if we completed the task. So, we don't think it's anything dangerous.'

'And the "task" involves people with birthdays?'

'Yes, they just have to blow out the candle on a cake,' Remus said.

The prefect nodded. 'It sounds intriguing. I'll hang your poster, and you can put me down for September the twenty-eighth. My name's Pandora Selwyn.'

James handed over the poster and Remus took out the dragonhide notebook to add her name to the list he'd written out earlier.

'That's a Tuesday,' he said. 'So we'll meet you at the top of the Grand Staircase after dinner?'

Pandora agreed, and Remus and his friends left Ravenclaw tower, one down, two to go.

-o-o-o-o-

Monday, 20th September 1971, 8:00 am

The enchanted ceiling in the Great Hall showed a clear blue sky, not a cloud to be seen, and Sirius was in a fantastic mood. His friendship with Remus was back on track, and they were getting along great. They had a mystery room to unlock and knew how to do it. Saturday afternoon, they had managed to locate a Hufflepuff willing to put their poster up in their common room, and on Sunday morning, he had bumped into his cousin Andromeda, who had agreed to put it up in Slytherin. On Sunday evening, several students had approached the Gryffindor table at dinner asking for them and put their names down on the list. They only needed to fill four more spots, and they were all later in the month, so they had plenty of time.

Life was good, Sirius decided.

'What are you grinning at?' James asked, interrupting his thoughts.

'Just how great everything is right now,' Sirius said.

James' face broke out in a wide smile. 'Yeah, everything is pretty awesome, isn't it?'

Then James' robes turned bright red, and a golden lion appeared on his chest and let out a silent roar. Sirius blinked. Then he blinked three times rapidly. No, it was definitely there. He looked at Peter and his robes were the same. Glancing up, he saw everyone at their table was now sporting the same red robes with golden lions. The Ravenclaw table was a sea of blue with bronze Eagles. The Hufflepuffs were bright yellow with black badgers, and the Slytherins in the distance had all turned green with silver snakes winding their way up their arms and around their collars.

Sirius turned his head to look at the teachers. Most of them had been unaffected, but Professor Dumbledore was wearing purple robes with a blazing phoenix across the front. Of course, he may well have been wearing those earlier; Sirius hadn't paid much attention. As he gazed at Dumbledore's strange outfit, fiery letters burned to life on the wall behind the teacher's table, spelling out a message.

_I hope you all enjoy your snazzy new robes_

_The Hogwarts Marauder_

Sirius glanced at James and Peter to see that they too were reading the message.

James turned to look at Sirius, his eyes were wide and gleamed with excitement. 'Who is the Hogwarts Marauder and how can we meet them?' he said.


	17. Chapter 16

Monday, 20th September 1971, 2:10 pm

Sitting in Charms next to Peter after lunch, Remus felt delighted with himself. His plan had gone perfectly and everyone seemed to be enjoying their transfigured outfits. Even Professor Dumbledore hadn't changed. The morning had gone well. Transfiguration was easy since he'd already mastered the art of changing a material's colour, and Sirius had commented on how good he was at it. Remus had wondered if the boys would suspect him, but so far they seemed to believe the Hogwarts Marauder was someone much older than themselves.

They were now working on the gouging charm Defodio. It was a simple charm, and most of the class had grasped the basics the previous Wednesday, but now Professor Flitwick wanted them to work on their precision and had given each of them a flat piece of wood and asked them to produce a decorative carving. Peter was attempting some kind of star pattern, but it wasn't going well, and his stars were somewhat lopsided. Remus was working on an intricate pattern of lines and swirls, and it was coming along nicely. He just had a few finishing touches to add.

'Wow, that's fantastic, Remus,' Peter said. Remus looked up from his work to see Peter staring at his carving with wide eyes. 'Hey, guys, look at this,' he said, turning round to speak to Sirius and James.

Sirius and James looked up from their own work. Remus had no idea what James' was supposed to be, but Sirius seemed to be carving some kind of dog.

'What?' Sirius asked.

'Remus' carving. It's brilliant,' Peter said, picking it up to show them.

Sirius and James stared at the wood for a moment before looking up at Remus.

'How are you so good at everything?' Sirius asked. 'You're the first to get it right in every class. Well, except Potions.'

Remus felt his face heating. That was happening a little too often for his liking. 'I kind of read all the books when I was little, and I practised the wand movements with a stick too.'

Sirius stared at him for an uncomfortably long moment. 'You are such a nerd, Remus Lupin,' he said. But his tone held a hint of affection and his eyes were twinkling. Remus decided he didn't mind being called a nerd when it was Sirius.

When classes were over for the day, they returned to their dormitory to relax, and discussion immediately turned to the Hogwarts Marauder, much to Remus' amusement.

'Who do you think it is?' James asked the room as he flopped onto his bed.

'It doesn't really matter,' Sirius said, his voice thoughtful. James shot upright and opened his mouth, presumably to argue, but Sirius stopped him by holding up a hand from where he was lounging on his own bed. 'I mean, the real question is how are we going to top them?'

James' mouth gaped for a moment, closed and opened again twice before he responded. 'You are absolutely right. It needs to be amazing and spectacular and awe-inspiring.'

Remus laughed inwardly. This was too funny. 'What do you mean? Top them?'

Sirius, James and Peter all glanced at each other, appearing to have a silent conversation. Sirius twitched his eyebrows. James wrinkled his nose. Peter shrugged. James frowned. Sirius rolled his eyes, and James nodded.

Sirius grinned and turned to Remus. 'You remember the unpoppable balloon parade a couple of weeks ago?'

Remus nodded and plastered an interested expression on his face.

Sirius smirked. 'That was us.'

Remus attempted to look suitably surprised and impressed. 'Really?' he asked. 'That was very impressive. How did you get the balloons to animate exactly?'

James hurried to explain how they'd stolen the vial from Filch's office and used it to improve on their plan at the last minute. Remus was impressed but still thought his own was better, purely because it was all his own work.

'So, when you say "top them," you mean do something better? In competition?' Remus asked.

'Exactly,' James said, grinning. 'You in?'

Was he in on helping his friends top his own work? Remus thought, fighting down the bubble of laughter threatening to burst out.

'Sure, why not? What do you have in mind?' he asked.

James rubbed his chin and glanced at Sirius. 'I'm not sure. We need to brainstorm,' he said.

Peter grabbed some parchment and a quill, and they settled down to think.

The evening flew by in a rowdy planning session, and the next afternoon, Remus found himself roaming the halls once again with Sirius, James, and Peter, on the hunt for more Hogwarts' secrets. They had finished with the seventh floor of the main building and had moved on to the west wing, and as they got nearer the entrance to Ravenclaw tower, they heard voices. Three males speaking in a mocking tone and a female who sounded upset. The four boys glanced at each other.

'What do we have?' James said.

Remus was confused at first, not understanding what James meant, but as he watched Sirius rummage through his bag, he got the idea. They were going to help the girl. Remus' chest swelled with pride. There wasn't a hint of hesitation in his friends. They were truly good people.

'I have that bag of dungbombs from your father and a fanged frisbee,' Sirius said.

Peter was also checking his bag. 'I've got the itching powder and the rest of the stinksap Sirius collected.'

Remus already knew there was nothing in his bag but books, quills and parchment and he deflated a little. He had so little to offer. 'I have my wand,' he said, holding it up.

Sirius looked up at him and grinned as if Remus possessing the most basic equipment required for any wizard was the best news he'd heard all day. 'Have you tried any offensive spells?'

Remus frowned and thought over the spells he'd "practiced" in his garden with a stick. 'Not as such, but I reckon I can manage a Depulso.'

James bounced on the balls of his feet. 'Brilliant! Okay, here's the plan.'

They rounded the corner and found three, third or fourth year Slytherins surrounding a sobbing first year Ravenclaw and showering her with stinging hexes. Beside him, Remus heard Sirius grinding his teeth together, and he glanced down to see he'd balled his hands into fists. This was really bothering him. He wondered why, but he didn't have time to think about it because, according to James' plan, he was up first. He hoped he wouldn't screw it up.

Remus stepped forward, pointed his wand and yelled, 'Depulso, depulso, depulso.' He moved his wand to re-aim after each attack, and three balls of blinding white light shot from the end and hit the Slytherins square in the forehead, knocking their heads back painfully. While they were distracted, James and Peter let loose with a barrage of dungbombs. The girl got to her feet and ran off down the corridor without even stopping to thank them. That was Sirius' cue. With the girl out of the way he launched the fanged frisbee, and they all watched as it soared towards the three Slytherin boys who were too busy wiping dungbomb detritus from their eyes to notice its approach. The frisbee went in for the attack, biting all three of them on any and all exposed skin it could find. Panicking, the Slytherins ran, and the fanged frisbee followed them. It wouldn't stop attacking until one of them had the presence of mind to snatch it out of the air.

The four boys watched them leave with satisfaction, congratulating themselves on a job well done.

'What on Earth did you do to them?' a high-pitched voice demanded.

Remus looked up and saw the speaker was Lily. She was walking down the corridor from the direction the Slytherins had run and had obviously seen their departure.

'Why do you three keep attacking Slytherins?' she asked. 'And you too, Remus? I'm surprised at you. I thought you were better than these bullies,' she added when she spotted him at the back of the group.

Remus was shocked. Surely she didn't think him capable of bullying?

Lily gave him one last scathing look before tossing her hair over her shoulder and marching away down the corridor.

'Well, that's nice, isn't it?' Peter asked. He seemed to be the only one of them capable of speech at that moment. James was staring after Lily like a lost puppy, and Sirius was stood with his mouth gaping open, apparently in shock. 'We stop people from bullying someone and get labelled bullies ourselves?'

That concise summary of events broke the spell, and they all started speaking at once.

'What a mangy hippogriff!' Sirius said looking scandalised. 'Talk about jumping to conclusions.'

'I can't believe she would think I was involved in bullying,' Remus said.

'She's so pretty when she's mad,' James said with a sigh.

'Mad is the right word,' Sirius said and smacked James around the back of the head.

'Hey! What was that for?' James yelled.

'Being a dopey prat,' Sirius said. 'She just called us bullies, and you're mooning over her like a love-struck pixie.'

'I wasn't mooning! I just think she's pretty is all,' James said, pushing his lower lip out and pouting like a toddler.

Sirius shook his head with dismay and, in a rapid change of subject, looked at Peter and asked, 'Is it nearly dinner time?'

Peter glanced at his watch, and his eyes widened with surprise. 'It is,' he said. 'I hadn't even noticed.'

'Right then,' Sirius said, straightening his robes and smoothing his already-perfect hair. 'Let's go eat.' And with that, he marched off down the corridor, leaving Remus, James and Peter to hurry after him or be left behind.

After dinner, Remus climbed the stairs to the dorm with a light heart and a smile on his face. Breen had made his favourite steak and chips; he'd spent the afternoon with friends; and he had all his work up to date, so there was nothing to do that evening but relax. There was no way he was going to show his face at potion's club again, not after the disaster that was last week and the way Lily had accused him of bullying earlier.

When he pushed the door open, he was greeted by a chorus of loud burps. He looked around and saw his three friends sitting on Sirius' bed together and taking it in turns to belch obnoxiously.

'What on earth?' he said.

James opened his mouth to respond, but all that came out was another audible expulsion of gas. He tried again and the same thing happened. Sirius giggle-burped and shoved James' shoulder with his own. Peter burp-sighed and picked up a packet from the bed between them, tossing it to Remus.

Remus caught it and read the writing on the front.

" _Belch Powder. Make your friends burp whenever they try to speak."_

'I see,' Remus said. 'And you all took this?'

Sirius nodded with enthusiasm.

'How long does it last?'

James jumped off the bed and bounced to where Remus was standing, took the packet, turned it over and pointed to the writing on the back.

" _Effects wear off after ten minutes,"_ Remus read aloud. 'How long do you have left?'

Sirius held up two fingers before moving his hand horizontally and waggling it.

'About two minutes?' Remus translated and Sirius nodded.

'I'm going to take a shower,' Remus said and proceeded into the bathroom to do just that.

When he returned, the boys were waiting for him.

'Can you slip the powder into the food when you're in the kitchens to eat?' James asked him the moment he came out of the bathroom.

Remus sidestepped the three boys and continued to his bed to put his uniform away before answering.

'I'm not sure. I don't usually go near the cooking area. It would be tricky, but it's possible,' he said. 'It's not really enough to beat the Hogwarts Marauder though.'

'This is just a small part of it. If we're going to put on a show for the Halloween feast, we have plenty of time to plan the rest. What I really want to do is find a way to combine the powder with a bubble charm. To make people burp bubbles. Just imagine it,' James said, gazing off into the distance with a dreamy expression on his face.

'That might be possible,' Remus said, thoughtfully. 'We'll need to figure out how the belching powder works before we can alter it though. I'll do some research.'

'Thanks, Remus. You're a star!' James said.

'He's not a star, I'm a star!' Sirius said.

'Your name is a star,' James said, turning to Sirius, who was pouting. The expression caused a strange flutter deep in Remus' stomach. 'Remus is an actual star because _he_ is saving me from spending time in the dreaded library.'

Sirius nodded. 'Point. We can share stardom, Remus.'

Before Remus could reply, there was a tapping at the dormitory window, and they all turned to look. A large owl was hovering outside carrying a flat, rectangular box. Sirius was closest and hurried over to open the window. The bird flew in and dropped the package on Sirius' bed before landing on the windowsill and hooting softly.

Sirius grabbed a few sickles from his money pouch and showed them to the owl before tucking them into the tiny bag attached to its leg. The bird hooted again and flew out the window.

'What's in the parcel?' James asked.

Sirius grinned. 'Chocolate!' he said, unwrapping the package and revealing a box of Honeydukes' finest. Chocolate which Remus had only ever dreamed of tasting. His mouth watered. 'You want some?' Sirius asked, offering the box first to James and then to Remus.

'Oh. Thank you,' Remus said, and Sirius' grin grew impossibly wider. Remus glanced over the contents of the box and took one of the smallest and least interesting of the selection.

Sirius scoffed and rolled his eyes before picking out four of the biggest and most interesting delicacies and handing them to Remus. He looked Remus in the eye and with a serious expression said, 'Remus, you are my friend. I bought these chocolates to share _with my friends_. In future, if I offer you a share of something and you short-change yourself, I will take it as an insult and be very cross with you. Understand?'

Remus felt a warm glow in his chest and nodded. Sirius' expression melted into a beautiful smile and he twirled away to offer his bounty to Peter, who was not shy about helping himself to a decent amount. Remus sat down on his bed, Sirius' words were playing on repeat in his mind. " _Remus, you are my friend."_

He couldn't stop the joy he felt from showing on his face, so he popped a chocolate into his mouth to give him an excuse to smile. It was divine! Rich and creamy with a hint of vanilla and strawberries. He groaned with delight at the flavour. Nothing before in his life had ever tasted so good as this chocolate, given to him by his first real friend.

-o-o-o-o-

The next morning, Sirius was waiting in the Entrance hall with James and Peter for Remus to return from the kitchens after breakfast. He was delighted with how well the chocolates had gone down. A couple more boxes like that, and he would be able to feed Remus chocolate when he returned after the full moon without anyone thinking it was odd.

'There he is,' James said, pointing at the steps down to the dungeons. Sirius followed his gaze and spotted Remus as he reached the top of the staircase. He was looking much healthier than he had at the beginning of the month. His skin had more colour, and the dark rings under his eyes had all but disappeared. Thank Merlin and the gods and Godric Gryffindor himself that Hogwarts has such a competent medi-witch to take care of him, Sirius thought. With Madam Pomfrey's help, maybe Remus could surpass the usual ten-year life-span of a lycanthrope.

'Hey, what do you guys want to do until History?' Remus asked when he reached them.

'We still need to finish searching the seventh-floor. We could carry on with that?' Sirius suggested. The others quickly agreed, and they were heading for the stairs when an ominous shadow fell over them. Sirius looked up into the stern face of Professor McGonagall.

'Gentlemen, I'm glad to see you four all together. It makes my job so much easier. Please come with me. I need to have a word,' she said, before turning with a swish of robes and marching in the direction of her office.

Sirius glanced at the others, frowning. 'What the hell did we do?' he whispered.

James shrugged. 'Beats me, mate. Guess we better go and find out.'

They all followed her up the stairs to the first floor and into her office, where she told them to take a seat. Sirius was confused but not worried. He didn't think they had done anything wrong, so this couldn't be a punishment, and detention wasn't a big deal, anyway.

Professor McGonagall took her seat behind the desk and eyed them over the top of her glasses.

'It has been reported to me that the four of you attacked three Slytherin students in the corridor yesterday afternoon. Is this true?'

Sirius gaped at her. 'That's what this is about?' he asked. He glanced at the others, and they nodded their approval for him to speak for the group. 'We did attack them, yes. But we only did so because they were bullying someone. They had her surrounded and were hitting her with stinging hexes.'

Professor McGonagall frowned. 'Do you have the name of this student so I can verify your story?'

'No. She was a Ravenclaw, looked like a first-year, but she ran off when we intervened. We didn't get the chance to speak to her.'

'I see. You're telling me that you pit yourselves against three fourth-year students to protect someone you don't even know?' Professor McGonagall asked, raising an eyebrow. Sirius wasn't sure if she was surprised or sceptical, but either way, it was insulting.

'Yes. Obviously. We are Gryffindors,' he said. His voice came out a little more haughty than he had intended, but it was effective.

Professor McGonagall smiled. That was unexpected. 'Yes, you are,' she said, her voice uncharacteristically soft. She cleared her throat and continued in her normal stern tone. 'I will admit to feeling a little proud. However, I can't condone using magic in the halls. It is against school rules. Under the circumstances, though, I think a warning will suffice. Don't do it again. Understood?'

They all nodded.

'Good, you may go.'

Sirius stood and sauntered from the room, with the others close behind him.

'I can't believe they reported us. What a bunch of idiots,' James laughed as they started down the corridor.

'I guess they needed treatment for the frisbee bites and had to explain why they were covered in dung,' Remus said.

Peter tripped on the bottom step of the staircase, but James caught him. 'Woah, steady. Don't go breaking your nose, we have things to do.'

'Thanks,' Peter said after regaining his footing. 'At least McGonagall believed us.'

'Detention would have been worth it. If she thinks I'm going to leave someone to be bullied because we aren't supposed to do magic in the corridors, she can think again,' James said, puffing out his chest.

'Hear, hear!' Sirius crowed. 'Not on our watch, right, mates?'

Remus and Peter were quick to agree, and Sirius felt a swell of pride. He felt bigger, stronger and more powerful, surrounded by his friends. He had people he could count on to be there when he needed help and people who believed in him. He liked it. He liked it a lot.

Two hours later, Sirius was sitting next to James in Charms, staring at the back of Remus' head and watching him as he attempted to levitate a feather. He had mastered the swish and flick of the wand movement but was having a little trouble with the pronunciation.

'Wingardium Levio _sa_ ,' Remus said, swishing his wand. Nothing.

'Wingardium _Levi_ osa.' Still nothing.

'Wingardium Levi _o_ sa.' Remus' feather swayed as if a light breeze had touched it and then lifted off the desk, floating up towards the ceiling. Remus kept his wand pointed at it but shifted it to the left slightly in an experimental fashion. The feather reacted, following his wand tip exactly. Sirius grinned and turned back to his own work, pleased for Remus.

He cast the charm and his feather rose into the air. He and James had practised this spell earlier in the week, both agreeing that it could be useful for the purposes of misbehaviour, and James was floating his own feather with equal ease next to him.

Sirius was guiding his feather in the direction of Flitwick's hat, hoping to add a little decoration to the headgear when Remus turned around and said, 'Do you think we can use this spell for Halloween? The bubbles won't float to the ceiling without some help.'

James rubbed his chin and, forgotten, his feather floated to the floor of the classroom. 'Yeah, but it will take forever to add the charm to each grain of powder. Do you think you can pre-cast it over the top half of the Great Hall?'

'I'll have to do some research. We might need to alter the spell a little,' Remus said.

Alter the spell? That sounds incredibly complicated, Sirius thought. 'You can do that?'

Remus hesitated before answering. 'I've done a little reading on the subject. I've never tried before, though.'

Sirius gave him a searching look. He wasn't sure what was causing it, but something told him Remus was lying. But why would he want to keep that a secret? Best not to let on that he'd noticed anything, though.

'We'll leave that in your capable hands then, Remus,' he said, giving him a wink that made Remus' cheeks redden.

After Charms, they dashed up to Gryffindor tower to put their bags away before lunch as they had no classes that afternoon, and on their way back out, Peter spotted something on the noticeboard.

'Hey, guys! Look at this, could be fun,' he said.

They all stopped to read the notice that was covering the entire board. The letters bounced around on the poster excitedly. There were inky fireworks repeatedly bursting in the corners and a considerable amount of small print at the bottom.

_**Hogwarts Annual Super Secret Niffler Hunt** _

_will take place on_

_**Saturday, 25th September** _

_beginning at_

_**8:00 am** _

_in_

_**Classroom 12c on the third floor** _

_Sign up with your team name below. The deadline to sign up is 5 pm on Friday._

_Teams must consist of no more than four people. Under no circumstances reveal the existence of the Hogwarts Annual Super Secret Niffler Hunt to any member of Hogwarts staff, under pain of shunning. Participation in the Hogwarts Annual Super Secret Niffler Hunt may result in severe punishment. You are expected to take full responsibility if caught out-of-bounds or otherwise engaging in forbidden acts during the hunt._

_**You have been warned!** _

_**Signed** _

_**Hogwarts Chiefs of Raucous Revelry.** _

'Awesome, I love niffler hunts!' James said.

'What the hell is a niffler hunt? Not hunting nifflers, surely? They're so cute and adorable,' Sirius said, feeling traumatised by the very idea.

'No,' James said, laughing. 'The organisers give you a list of stuff, and you have to find it all within the time limit. Sometimes there are puzzles you have to work out to figure out what you need to find.'

'Ah, so we would be the nifflers then,' Sirius said.

'Exactly. You up for it?'

'Absolutely. Nothing better to do, is there?' Sirius said with a grin.

'We need a team name. Any ideas?' Remus asked.

'How about the Jolly Jokesters?' Peter suggested.

James groaned. 'Gods, no, That's awful.'

'The Talented Tricksters?' Sirius said. 'Or the Rebellious Rogues?'

James shook his head at both suggestions.

'If we're going with alliteration,' Remus said, 'what about the Magical Mischief Makers?'

'Ooh, I like it,' Sirius said, looking at James to see his reaction. James smiled and nodded.

'Yes, that has a nice ring to it. Peter?'

'It describes us quite well, I think.'

Sirius looked down to see where they were supposed to sign their team-name and saw a piece of parchment and a quill hovering inches below the noticeboard. The moment he moved his hand towards them, they floated closer, and he plucked the quill from the air and wrote their chosen name on the list.

'This is going to be a blast,' James said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. Sirius had to agree.

After lunch, they returned to the dorm intending to get some sleep before Astronomy, but James and Peter were restless and soon got back up to start a game of gobstones.

'Argh. You got me again, Pete!' James cried out for the third time in less than five minutes. His shout was echoed by the shifting of bed sheets from behind the only set of curtains still closed. Sirius glanced over to Remus' bed. There was no way he was going to get any sleep with James and Peter making so much noise in the room.

'I'm bored,' he said. 'Let's go outside.'

He heard a whispered, 'Oh, gods. Please do,' from behind Remus' curtains and, smirking, awarded himself a mental pat on the back for being such a good friend.

James considered his suggestion for a moment, stroking his chin as if thinking deeply on the issue.

'Why, yes, my friend. I think going outside sounds like a splendiferous idea,' he said, jumping to his feet. 'Come on, Pete! Adventure awaits.'

With that pronouncement he bounded from the room with Pete following close behind. And everyone says _I_ have too much energy, Sirius thought.

'Sleep well, Remus,' he said as he left the room, closing the door gently behind him before rushing after his friends.

They reached the edge of the Black Lake ten minutes later and flopped down on the grass. It was a bright sunny day, but the wind coming off the lake was chilly, and Sirius pulled his cloak around himself to keep warm.

'You know, those Prewett twins seemed quite roguish. You don't reckon it's them, do you?' James said, breaking the silence.

'Who? The Marauder?' Sirius asked. James nodded. 'Can't be. The message would have said "The Marauders" if there were multiple people involved. It's only one person.'

'Well, who do you think it is?' James asked.

'I have a suspicion,' Sirius replied, thinking about what he'd noticed earlier that day. 'But I'm not going to say until I have a little more evidence.'

'What!' James yelled, leaping to his feet. 'You can't say that and then not tell us!'

'I can and I did,' Sirius said, laughing at James' outrage. 'What are you going to do about it?'

'This!' James scooped up a handful of mud from the bank of the lake and formed it into a ball before launching it at Sirius.

Sirius rolled out of the way, and the ball of mud missed him by inches, splattering Peter who had been lying on the grass next to him. Peter leapt to his feet, wiping mud off his face and shouting, 'You're dead, James!' before running to the bank to collect his own grubby projectile.

Sirius scrambled to his feet. 'It's so on, Potter!' he cried, heading in the opposite direction to Peter in his quest for a weapon.

The boys chased each other along the circumference of the lake for over an hour before finally collapsing onto the grass, exhausted and coated in mud. They had each been shoved into muddy pools several times during the course of the game, and there was barely an inch of clean material between them.

'Merlin! I don't think I've ever had that much fun before,' Sirius said.

'Really?' James asked. 'I had mud fights with my dad all the time growing up. Mum used to go mental. It was hilarious.'

'Gods, no. If my mother could see me looking like this, I think she'd drop dead on the spot from sheer horror,' Sirius said. 'Actually, that's a thought. Can we get to Grimmauld place from here? Damn, if only I could apparate.'

James laughed. 'Sorry, mate. You'll have to wait until Christmas. Do you have a garden? You can just roll around in the mud when you get home. Job done.'

'Summer,' Sirius said.

'What?'

'It will have to wait until summer. I'm not going home for Christmas. Or Easter. I'd rather put that confrontation off for as long as possible.'

James and Peter had stopped laughing, and the atmosphere was heavier than before. Sirius felt bad for lowering the mood.

'Your parents can't really be mad at you for being in Gryffindor, can they?' Peter asked. 'It's not your fault. We don't get to choose.'

'They won't see it that way,' Sirius said. 'But that's a long way off, and there's no use worrying over something that can't be changed. Let's head back to the dorm and get showered before dinner. It might take a while to get there. If Filch sees us in the castle looking like this, he might actually kill us.'

James and Peter both looked down at themselves and laughed.

'Yeah, he might. And I left the cloak behind too. Didn't think we'd need it.'

Sirius jumped to his feet. 'Race you to the Entrance Hall,' he hollered over his shoulder as he ran towards the school.

'Cheater!' James shouted, but was quick to give chase.

Peter moaned behind them as he clambered upright. 'Not more blasted running!'

As Sirius had expected, he and James were forced to wait by the door for several minutes while Peter strolled sedately across the grounds towards them. His plodding walk combined with his mud-soaked attire gave him a distinct resemblance to a troll.

When Peter finally reached them, they poked their heads around the door to check for cranky caretakers and, seeing the coast was clear, hurried towards the stairs, leaving a trail of muddy footprints behind them.

They made it as far as the fifth-floor before disaster struck. After rounding the corner of the staircase onto the fifth-floor landing, they heard a distant voice bellowing from the floor below.

'Look at this filth, Miss Norris! These horrid children spreading their muck everywhere! Let's get them, sweetness. We'll string them up by their ankles.'

'Shit!' Sirius said. 'Run!'

James and Peter didn't need telling twice. The three boys ran as fast as their legs could take them. Unfortunately for Peter, that meant he was soon left behind. When Sirius arrived at the portrait to Gryffindor tower, James was by his side but Peter was nowhere to be seen.

'I'm sure he'll turn up,' Sirius said.

James agreed, and they gave the Fat Lady the password and clambered into the common room to go and wake a sleeping Remus for dinner.


	18. Chapter 17

Saturday, 25th September 1971, 7:55 am

Remus yawned as he followed Sirius, James and Peter up the stairs to the third floor. Sirius had woken him at the ungodly hour of six forty-five to get an early breakfast before the niffler hunt, and his body was protesting, although his morning chocolate-flavour nutrition potion had helped a little.

They approached classroom 12c and James took the lead, pushing the door open and walking inside. The room was vast with a stage at one end, empty of any furniture, and small groups of students of all ages were dotted around, chatting amongst themselves and waiting for the show to start. They weren't left waiting for long.

At exactly eight o'clock, the stage erupted with sound and light as multiple fireworks exploded in a shower of coloured sparks and words blazed to life on the wall in the same fiery letters Remus had used for his own message.

_Welcome to Hogwarts' Annual Super Secret Niffler Hunt_

Everyone in the room turned their attention to the stage in rapt silence. The message faded away after a few seconds, and a shiny suit of armour clanked onto the stage and gave the audience a cheery wave.

'Good Morning, Nifflers!' it said. The booming voice seemed to come from inside the empty helmet. 'Many of you have taken part in the hunt in previous years, but for the benefit of our newcomers, I will go over the rules. You will work in teams of no more than four people. Each team will receive a list of items they must collect. All the lists are identical. The items are split into three categories. There are twenty items worth 1 point, which require no rule-breaking to retrieve. Six items are worth 5 points and will require some minor rule-breaking. Four items can only be gathered via severe rule-breaking and are, therefore, worth 10 points each. The deadline is four o'clock this afternoon. Bring whatever you have collected to this room, and your points will be calculated. Be warned, all items will be checked for transfiguration, and any team caught cheating will be instantly disqualified. There is, of course, a prize for the winning team.'

The suit of armour clapped its metal hands together with a metallic clunk and a wooden box appeared in the middle of the room.

'Take one sheet per team. Good luck to you all. Remember, don't get caught, but if you do, don't tell! Let the hunt begin!'

'Wait here,' James said before dodging through the throng of students to reach the box and grab a roll of parchment from the stack inside.

'He'd be a good chaser, don't you think?' Sirius said as they watched him.

Remus and Peter both nodded in agreement.

A four-man team of Hufflepuffs had grabbed their list and were heading out the door, and one of them called over his shoulder as they left. 'You might as well give up now. We always win this game. Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders.'

'You might be in for a surprise this year, Diggory!' James shouted back.

'How do you know his name?' Remus asked.

James shrugged. 'He's on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. I know all the players.'

Remus shook his head. 'And you call me a nerd.'

James laughed. 'Come on, we need to meet today's birthday person in twenty minutes, and then we can get started.'

They climbed the stairs back up to the seventh floor and hung around talking to Silas while they waited for third-year Gryffindor Frank Longbottom to show up.

After Frank had blown out his candle, they returned to their dorm to look over the list and make some plans.

James unrolled the parchment and placed it on the floor so they could all see.

_**Hogwarts Annual Super Secret Niffler Hunt** _

_**One-point items - easy** _

_A quill with a red feather - A muggle pen - A purple sock_

_A stuffed cat - A white flower - An orange hair-tie_

_A smooth white stone - A green shoe - A leaf from an oak tree_

_A photograph of Dumbledore - A paintbrush - A muggle coin_

_An essay with a 'T' grade - A pinecone - A pair of sunglasses_

_A battery - Lipstick - A camera - A pink hat - A blue button_

_**Five-point items - detention potential** _

_A trophy from the trophy room_

_A book from the restricted section_

_A saucepan from the kitchen_

_A telescope from the astronomy classroom_

_A teapot from the divination classroom_

_A broomstick from the broom shed_

_**Ten-point items - highly dangerous** _

_A tartan scarf from Professor McGonagall's collection of Scottish clothing_

_A medal from Professor Flitwick's collection of duelling prizes_

_A tool from Professor Sprout's collection of decorative gardening tools_

_A potion from Professor Slughorn's collection of rare potions._

_**All items will be returned to their rightful owners when the hunt has ended** _

'I have a purple sock and a pair of sunglasses,' James said, jumping up and dashing to his trunk to fetch them.

Sirius also went to his trunk. 'I have a paintbrush. And possibly a blue button. Yes, here.' He yanked a button off of a pair of trousers.

'Sirius!' Remus said, shocked at the wanton destruction of a perfectly good item of clothing.

'What?' Sirius raised his hands in surrender, one of them still clutching the button. 'I'll ask a prefect to spell it back on after the hunt.'

'Right. Sorry.' Remus was embarrassed by his overreaction and tried to change the subject. 'I have a muggle pen, by the way. My mum put it in my trunk because they're easier to write with.'

'Ooh, get it out. I've never seen a muggle pen.' Sirius darted towards him with the air of an excited puppy, and Remus jerked away instinctively. Sirius shot him an apologetic look but otherwise didn't acknowledge his reaction. Remus was grateful.

He rummaged around in his trunk until his hand wrapped around the thin plastic tube of his black biro. He pulled it out and handed it to Sirius, who examined it with fascination.

'Someone get me some ink. I want to try it out,' Sirius said.

Remus chuckled. 'You don't need ink. The ink is already inside it.'

'Inside it?' Sirius asked. He grabbed the list and made a tick next to "muggle pen." 'That's ingenious! It must save so much time not having to dip it every few sentences. Why the hell are we still using quills and ink when the muggles have these?'

Remus shrugged. 'I have no idea.'

Sirius took great pleasure in using the muggle pen to tick off the other items on the list that they owned before James called them all to attention.

'I think we should concentrate on the ten-point items this morning. We have a huge advantage over the other teams,' he said, brandishing the invisibility cloak. 'If our plans fail and we don't get them, we can make up for it by getting all the five-point items after lunch.'

'I think that's a good plan, James.' Remus hesitated, reluctant to argue with his new friends, but he ploughed on. 'But I can't come under the cloak with you. Maybe we should split up. I can collect some single point things while you work on the ten-pointers?'

'Nonsense. We're the magical mischief makers! We work together. You're going to be an important part of the plans. The distraction! We need you to keep the teachers occupied while we sneak in and steal their prized possessions. There's no point in us being invisible if they see doors opening and their things vanishing.'

They spent an hour in the dorm making elaborate plans for each of the four items worth ten points, plus additional back-up plans and emergency exit plans before they headed out to try their luck on Professor Sprout. She seemed like the easiest of the four.

As they traversed the school, they saw small groups of students dashing around, running up to people and asking questions before rushing off again. It seemed like most of the teams were focusing on the single point items. Good.

They reached Professor Sprout's personal quarters, and James wished him luck before disappearing under the cloak. They had all agreed it would be easier to sneak around if only one person was under the cloak, and it belonged to James. Peter and Sirius had been delegated look-outs and had taken positions at either end of the corridor.

Remus knocked on the door and waited.

Less than a minute passed before the door opened, revealing Professor Sprout. She was wearing muggle dungarees and a straw hat with her hair loose around her shoulders.

'Hello, Mister Lupin, I was just on my way out. Can I help you with something?'

'Oh. I'm sorry to disturb you, Professor. I didn't realise it was your day off. I was hoping you could talk me through some things about planting flitterbloom? I'm afraid I don't quite understand why it's necessary to line the seed tray with crystallised sugar before planting, or why we should water it with fizzy water? I want to do the best I can on the essay.'

'Oh, of course, dear. I can spare a few minutes. Do you have your essay with you?'

'Yes, ma'am.'

'Good. Why don't you come in, and I'll have a look over it and see where you're going wrong?'

This might have been a worrying development. Remus didn't actually have any issues understanding the needs of flitterbloom seeds, and his essay was perfect. But James' planning had prepared them for this. The essay Remus held in his hand had been written right before they left the dorm, copied from his actual essay with a few key points changed.

Remus followed Professor Sprout into her personal quarters.

'Leave the door open, dear. It's the rules.' Remus smiled to himself. That made things easier.

Professor Sprout led him over to a seating area and told him to sit down. Remus glanced around and spotted a set of shelves along the entirety of one wall, displaying a vast collection of decorative tools. Professor Sprout had sat with her back to them, perfect.

Remus sat down and waited while she read through his essay, resolutely not looking at the tools and hoping James was nearly done.

Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw something red disappear, but he kept his eyes on Professor Sprout, not wanting to draw attention to the tools. A moment later, he felt the air move against his arm as if someone was passing close to him. He was leaving, brilliant.

Professor Sprout lectured him for ten minutes before he managed to escape out to the corridor, and he hurried to meet his friends at the designated spot, two corridors away.

'Did you get it?' he asked as he entered the classroom.

'Did you doubt me?' James said, brandishing a garden trowel which had a handle encrusted with red stones.

'I would never doubt you,' Remus said with a grin. 'What's next?'

Sirius rubbed his chin. 'Flitwick is closest.'

James tucked the garden trowel back into his bag, and they made their way to Flitwick's quarters. Repeating the same method as before, Remus knocked on the door, but this time no one answered, and when he tried the handle, the door was locked.

James pulled the cloak off and signalled for Sirius and Peter to return from their look-out positions. 'Does anyone know an unlocking spell?' he asked.

'I only know the one we'll learn later this year, but I doubt a first-year spell is going to be enough to unlock a teacher's room.' Remus said. He took his wand out, anyway, and performed the unlocking charm on the door. Nothing happened. Either he didn't do it right or the lock was too complex for the charm.

'So… Plan 14.b then?' Sirius said.

'Is that the one where we steal a broom and use it to fly up to his window?' Remus asked.

Sirius grinned. 'That's the one.'

'Okay, well, let's find the nearest unlocked room and see if we can count the windows from it,' Remus said.

They were in luck. The room right next to Flitwick's was open and when Remus leant out, he was easily able to count the windows from the nearest corner.

'Flitwick's is thirteen windows right from the west tower,' he said, pulling his head back inside. 'Let's go.'

It took a good ten minutes to reach the Entrance Hall from the seventh floor. They were all hot and sweaty by the time they exited the castle and were glad of the cool breeze as they crossed the grass towards the broom shed. The place was surprisingly deserted. Remus had expected to find at least one other team attempting to gain an easy five points, but as they got closer, he noticed the door to the shed was ajar. Someone had already been there.

'That makes things nice and easy,' James said, skipping up to the door and peeking inside. 'No-one here. Check around.'

Remus, Sirius and Peter scanned their surroundings, but there wasn't a soul in sight.

'All clear,' Sirius reported.

James dashed inside and was back in seconds clutching a broom. 'Step one complete,' he said with a grin. 'Come on!'

They followed him at a fast jog towards the west tower, and once hidden in the shadow of the castle, they stopped to catch their breath.

'Right, I'll cover myself with the cloak. It'll probably flap a bit in the wind, but I'll be less likely to be seen.'

James mounted the broom, and Sirius draped the cloak around him, tucking the end into his socks to try to keep it in place. When he was done they could still see his shoes, but once he was in the air, they would be less visible. Hopefully.

James took off, and they watched his shoes soar into the sky, getting smaller and smaller before stopping briefly and then floating back down again.

James pulled the cloak from his head. 'It's locked.'

Remus frowned. 'I doubt he's put too much security into his window. Alohomora should be enough. I think I can cast it, but I can't fly a broom.'

Sirius suddenly jerked and started rummaging in his bag. 'Hold on, I've got a lock on my journal. We can all try.'

He pulled the book out and handed it to Remus. 'Show us what to do.'

Remus pointed his wand at the lock on the side of the journal and then twirled it anti-clockwise before bringing the tip back to point at the lock while saying, 'Alohomora.'

The lock sprang open and Remus glanced up through his fringe, nervous to see their reaction. Would they think him a show-off?

Sirius grinned at him. 'Well done, mate.'

Remus flushed at the praise and looked at his feet.

James, Sirius and Peter all attempted the spell on the journal several times, but none of them could get it to work.

'Urgh, I give up,' James groaned, flinging the book at Sirius after his tenth failed attempt. 'Are you sure you can't fly up there? It's just straight up and down, nothing fancy.'

Remus shivered as he remembered how it felt when he fell from the broom before, and that had been a much smaller distance.

'He can't, James. You saw what happened during flying lessons. If he fell from up there, he wouldn't survive,' Sirius said.

He would survive. But that wasn't the point. He didn't want to fall. Even if he did heal ridiculously fast, it still hurt.

'Well, we're just going to have to give up on this one then. Hopefully, we can still get enough points to win,' James grumbled.

Oh, Gods. Remus really didn't want to let his friends down. If they didn't win the hunt, it would be all his fault, just because he was too scared to fly. What if he could just sit and hang on, with someone else controlling the broom, though? Maybe he could do it then.

'Alright, let's do Slughorn next,' Sirius said.

But if he rode the broom with someone else, he might touch them. Infect them. He wouldn't infect them if he didn't touch their skin, though. If he was careful. His dad did it every month, and he wouldn't if there were any risk.

His friends were turning to leave.

'I'll do it if Sirius does the flying,' Remus blurted before he could talk himself out of it.

'What?' Sirius asked, staring at him as if he'd suddenly grown an extra head. 'You mean fly on the broom with me?'

'Yes.'

Sirius scanned his face. 'But, you'd have to touch me.'

'I know. If we both wear gloves, I think it'll be okay. Just don't... don't touch my skin.'

Frowning, Sirius stepped closer and leaned in to speak quietly. 'Are you sure? You really don't have to do this, Remus.'

He took a deep breath and nodded. 'I'm sure.'

'Okay.' Sirius stared at him a moment longer, his eyes darting from side to side as if searching for something. He appeared to find what he needed because he turned to James and said, 'I left my gloves in the dorm. Do you have yours?'

James shook his head. 'No, but I can run and get them.'

'I have mine,' Peter said, pulling them out of his bag. 'Thought we might need them for something.'

Sirius took the gloves. 'Nice one, Pete.'

Remus pulled his own Herbology gloves from his bag and slipped them onto his hands, noticing that they were shaking ever so slightly. He took another deep breath, trying to calm himself. It was going to be fine.

Sirius mounted the broom. 'Get on behind me.'

Remus did so, leaving a gap of two or three inches between them.

Sirius glanced over his shoulder. 'You'll have to put your hands on my waist to hold on and move a little closer or the broom won't be balanced. Are you sure you're okay with this?'

Remus nodded and scooted closer, closing the gap between them. He was breaking the biggest rule his mum had set, for something as trivial as a game. But he was taking precautions. So, it wasn't really breaking the rule, was it? He had promised he would be careful, and he was being careful.

Remus placed his shaking hands on Sirius' waist. He could feel the heat from his body even through the thick material of the dragon-hide gloves. His breath was coming in harsh pants, and he tried hard to regulate it. His heart was racing.

'It's okay, Remus. You're safe with me,' Sirius whispered.

Remus gripped him tighter to show he'd heard him.

'I'm going to drape the cloak over you, okay?' James said.

Remus nodded and James moved closer, draping the cloak over both their heads. It only reached as far as their ankles and didn't hide Sirius at all. Remus let go of him and took the edges of the cloak in his hands, before wrapping his arms around Sirius' waist, forcing the cloak to cover him. It was awkward holding on to Sirius like that while keeping his face away from his back, but it was doable.

'Ready?' Sirius asked.

'Yes,' Remus tried to say, but his voice came out sounding more like a squeak. He coughed and tried again. 'Yes.'

He felt a jolt as Sirius pushed off and his feet left the ground. There was no turning back now. They rose smoothly to the seventh floor. Remus kept his eyes on Sirius' back, not looking at his surroundings at all, and with Sirius' gentle control of the broom, it didn't feel like he was even in the air.

'We're here,' Sirius said.

Remus turned his head and moved back a little, letting go of the cloak and moving his hands to Sirius' waist. He would need to let go with one hand to get his wand. Why hadn't he considered that?

'I'm scared.'

Sirius turned his head to look over his shoulder and met Remus' eyes. 'It's okay, I won't let you fall.'

'Promise?'

'On my life.'

'Okay.'

Remus let go with his left hand, carefully reached into his pocket and pulled out his wand. He pointed it at the window, cast the spell, and the window clicked open.

'You did it!' Sirius said. 'Hold on tight. This is going to be tricky.'

Remus grabbed onto Sirius' waist again and felt the broom tilt forward as Sirius pushed down on the end to descend. He leant backwards to keep his uncovered face away from Sirius' back and kept his eyes on the back of Sirius' head as the broom headed towards the ground. As soon as his feet made contact, he slid off. His legs gave way beneath him and he collapsed in a heap.

'You okay, mate?' Sirius asked, dropping the broom on the floor and crouching down to check on him.

'Yeah, I just need a minute.'

'Alright, James and I are going to go back up. You did great.'

Remus nodded from where he sat with his back against the castle and his knees tucked into his chest. He wrapped his arms around his knees and bent his head down, hiding his face, and concentrated on breathing.

'I can't believe you did that,' Peter said, sitting down next to him. 'That was really brave.'

'Thanks, mate,' Remus mumbled.

Sirius and James returned victorious five minutes later, and they hurried up to their dorm room to store their prizes, keeping the broom hidden under the cloak.

They went for Slughorn next, and he turned out to be easy. Remus kept him talking at the door while Sirius snuck in under the cloak and grabbed a potion from the display.

McGonagall was going to be trickier. Not only would they need to get access to her personal quarters, but they would need to make it all the way into her bedroom. And they had only an hour left before lunch.

'The "I need help with my work" excuse isn't going to work on her. Remus is amazing at transfiguration, and she knows it,' Sirius had pointed out during their planning session

And thus Plan 18.a was born. The conversation had gone like this:

'Even if we manage to get in the door, we need her out of the room so we can get into the bedroom,' James said. 'What we need is a double decoy. We need someone in the office, and then we need a disturbance outside to draw her out.'

'Pete can be inside. She'll believe he needs help,' Sirius said. 'Sorry, Pete.'

Peter waved his apology away. 'No, it's true. I'm pants at Transfiguration.'

'But you rule at Potions. Can't be good at everything, can we?' Sirius said, patting him on the shoulder.

'Okay, but how do we get her out?' James asked.

Sirius shrugged. 'What if we stage an argument in the corridor and start flinging spells at each other?'

'We don't know any offensive spells yet.'

'Good point. Fine, we can just have a muggle fight then.'

'We'll have to make it realistic. We'll both get hurt,' James pointed out.

Sirius grinned. 'I'm game if you are.'

James grinned right back at him. 'Oh, it's on.'

'Awesome. That leaves Remus with the cloak to sneak in and grab the scarf,' Sirius said, turning to Remus.

He nodded. 'I can do that.'

And so, ten minutes after leaving Slughorn's office with a tiny vial of golden potion—which Sirius had eyed so longingly Remus was forced to take it from him, lest he drink it—they were in position. Peter was outside the door to Professor McGonagall's office, his actual essay on the theory of changing an object's shape in his hand. Remus was right next to him, shrouded by the folds of the invisibility cloak. James and Sirius were waiting around the nearest corner to begin their fake argument.

Peter knocked. A minute later, the door swung open, and Professor McGonagall stood there, looking down at him.

'Yes, Mister Pettigrew. Can I help you?'

Peter explained why he was there and McGonagall invited him inside, Remus slipped through the door after them and positioned himself next to the only other door in the room. A couple of minutes passed and McGonagall was deep into her lecture on transfiguration theory, with Peter looking bored out of his mind, when the sound of raised voices came from outside.

'Fuck you, Black!'

'Oh, that's an intelligent response. Great job, Potter. Big round of applause.'

'I'm gonna fucking kill you!'

'Not if I kill you first!'

That declaration was followed by a series of thumps.

'What on earth is going on out there?' Professor McGonagall asked, getting to her feet in a hurry. 'Sorry, Mister Pettigrew, please excuse me for a moment.'

As she got to her feet, Remus reached out and put his hand on the door handle, readying himself. The moment McGonagall disappeared from view, he turned it and slipped inside. A quick glance around revealed a good size sitting room with a single door leading off of it. He hurried over and entered the bedroom. Trying very hard not to think about what his professor did in this room, he dashed to the wardrobe. No scarves. Okay, drawers then, he thought, yanking open the top drawer of the five-tier chest. Nope, definitely not that one, he thought, feeling his face heat as he slammed it closed again. The second drawer down yielded results, though, and he pulled out a red and green tartan scarf with hints of yellow. Tucking it into his pocket, he shut the drawer and left the room. He listened at the door to the office and could hear McGonagall's loud voice still scolding James and Sirius for fighting like muggles in the hallway, so he slipped back into the room and Peter's worried face relaxed into a grin when he saw the door open and close.

Remus walked out into the corridor and found James and Sirius cowering before a red-faced McGonagall. He dashed to the end of the hallway, behind McGonagall, and pulled the cloak off, giving James and Sirius a wave, before darting around the corner.

They joined him a couple of minutes later. James was sporting a bloodied lip and Sirius looked to have a nice black eye developing.

'Gods, you two look terrible.'

Sirius waved off his concern. 'Did you get it?'

Remus pulled the scarf from his pocket and held it up with a grin.

'Then it was totally worth it. Nice job, mate.'

Peter arrived a few minutes later and was equally pleased to find their plan had worked.

'We've got fifty points, and it's only lunchtime. We are so going to win this,' he said.

'That's because we're awesome!' James crowed. 'Right, time for food. Remus, do you think the house-elves would mind if we joined you in the kitchen today?'

Remus thought about it. 'No, probably not.'

'Excellent, maybe we can get that saucepan at the same time.'

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius' eye throbbed in time with his heartbeat as he followed Remus down to the kitchen. It was nothing compared to what Remus had gone through so they could get into Flitwick's office, though, so he was damned if he was going to complain about it. James seemed to feel the same way about his split lip. Sirius was in awe of Remus' bravery, facing his phobia like that. He was incredible.

They reached a painting of a bowl of fruit, and Remus stopped, reached out and tickled the pear. The pear laughed, and the painting swung open. The kitchens were hidden behind a picture of food. Nice.

The smells that wafted out on the breeze made Sirius' stomach rumble. 'Merlin. I'm starving.'

'Good afternoon, Breen. My friends wanted to have lunch with me. Is that okay?' Remus asked a friendly-looking elf that had hurried over to them when they entered the room. These elves looked nothing like Kreacher. They all looked clean and happy.

'Oh. Of course. Master Remus. Your friends is most welcomes. Please sit down and we will brings you some food.'

'Master Remus?' Sirius said, raising an eyebrow at Remus and making him blush. Three times in one morning, he was on a roll.

They sat down at the small table, and Breen soon arrived with a tray of sandwiches and a pitcher of pumpkin juice. He hurried off again and, a moment later, returned with a small chocolate cake and four plates.

'Wow, this looks amazing. Thanks, Breen,' Peter said, and Sirius nodded his agreement.

'If it's not too much trouble, Breen, could we have a little fruit too?' James asked, and Sirius groaned.

'You and your blasted fruit, James.'

'It's good for you. Excuse me for wanting my friends to live a long time,' he huffed and crossed his arms.

The elf watched the exchange with wide eyes. 'It's no trouble. We have lots of fruit, masters,' he said before scurrying off and returning with a plate of cut fruits that smelled delicious. Okay, so maybe he didn't mind James' obsession with the stuff as much as he pretended to.

Once Breen had left them alone to eat, James leant forward and whispered, 'So, how are we going to get a saucepan?'

Sirius, who had just taken a massive bite out of a cheese and ham sandwich, just shrugged.

'Well, you're as much use as a chocolate cauldron. Remus, any ideas?'

'I think they'll notice if one of us disappears under the cloak.'

Sirius swallowed his food and said, 'What's through the other doors? Maybe we could go in one of those rooms, put the cloak on and come back.'

'One's the laundry, the other is the storage rooms,' Remus said. 'But they're both full of elves too.'

The laundry? Interesting. Sirius filed that away to think about later. 'Storage rooms?' he said instead. 'Anything good in there?'

'Not really. A lot of furniture and things.'

'You know. I reckon they might just give us a saucepan if we ask,' Peter said.

'That seems too easy,' James said.

Sirius shrugged. 'It's worth a shot. If they say no, it's only five points. We already have fifty.'

'Hey, excuse me?' James said to the nearest elf. 'I don't suppose we could borrow a saucepan for a few hours? We'll return it after dinner.'

'Oh. Of course. That's no problems at alls,' she said and fetched them one immediately.

'Thank you very much. We'll take very good care of it,' James said, taking the saucepan. The elf beamed at him and returned to her work.

'Well, that was easy. Great idea, Pete!' Sirius said, laughing.

'Fifty-five points. What do we have left?' James asked before answering his own question without waiting for a response. 'The trophy and the book will be a piece of cake. The telescope is going to be awkward, though. No idea how we're going to carry that through the school without being seen. And do any of you even know where the Divination classroom is?'

They all shook their heads.

'Let's get the book and the trophy and worry about the other two after that.' Sirius checked his watch. 'We have three hours left.'

It took them less than an hour to steal a trophy from the trophy room and a book from the restricted section of the library. Sirius had been tempted to take the volume he spotted on werewolves just to see how Remus would react, but decided that was too cruel and reluctantly put it back, opting instead for a much smaller and easier to carry book called _Magicks Moste Ancient._

They had two hours left and were standing at the top of the astronomy tower, eyeing a telescope and wondering how the hell they were going to transport it back to their dorm. Well, that's what Sirius was thinking, anyway. He assumed the others were thinking the same thing, but for all he knew, they could have been considering the best way to capture a Cornish pixie.

'How many secret passages do we know about between here and Gryffindor tower?' Remus asked. Okay, so they were thinking about the telescope problem too, good.

'Only a couple that'll be useful,' James said. 'We'll have to do most of the journey in the open.'

'What about, instead of taking it all the way up to the dorm, we just take it to the third floor and hide it somewhere near classroom 12c?' Peter suggested.

'That would cut the journey in half. Great idea. But we still need to work out a way to carry it,' Sirius said.

They eventually decided to wrap the telescope in the cloak and carry it between the four of them as they walked closely together as a group. As an extra precaution, whenever they saw someone coming they would dart into the nearest room and wait for them to pass. It was a long-winded process, and by the time they reached the third-floor corridor, they had just forty-five minutes to find the Divination classroom, steal a teapot, grab the rest of their gains and get back to the classroom for the count.

'I think it's time to split up,' Sirius said as they hid the telescope in an unused cupboard. 'It won't take four of us to steal a teapot.'

'I agree. One of us should go after the teapot, the rest can help bring everything down to the classroom. The teapot thief will have to go cloakless, though. We need it to hide the broom.'

'I'll go after the teapot,' Sirius said.

James nodded. 'Good man. Remember, get back here by four, teapot or no teapot.'

James, Remus and Peter headed off towards the Grand Staircase, and Sirius went the other way, looking for someone he could ask for directions. He soon found an older student in Gryffindor robes and stopped her to ask if she knew where the Divination classroom was.

'Taking part in the Niffler Hunt, are you? How are you getting on?'

'Quite well, but there isn't long left. Do you know where it is?'

She nodded. 'Top of the north tower, through a trapdoor in the ceiling. Good luck.'

'Thanks,' he called over his shoulder as he ran off.

He reached the north tower in record time and stopped at the bottom of the steps to catch his breath. Eyeing the stairs, he started to regret volunteering for this mission. They spiralled upwards in endless circles and he made a mental note not to take Divination.

He reached the top, a hot, sweaty mess, and checked his watch. Half-past three. He climbed up the ladder and pushed the trapdoor open just enough to peek inside. The room was dim but appeared to be empty, so he pushed the door open all the way and climbed through. He glanced around and spotted the teapots, lined up on shelves on the back wall. He hurried over, grabbed one and put it in his bag. Success.

'Hello, young man. Are you lost?'

Sirius swung around and saw a very old lady with silvery-white hair emerging through the trapdoor.

'Err. Yeah, I was just exploring and wondered what was up here. What is this room? It's so strange.'

'It's the Divination classroom. I hope I'll see you here in a couple of years?'

'Um, yeah, maybe. I better go. Sorry to disturb you.'

'No problem at all, dear. Have a nice day, won't you?'

Sirius turned, made his way to the trapdoor and began to descend the ladder, pulling the trapdoor closed behind him. Just before it closed fully, the Divination professor called out, 'Do take care of that teapot, it's one of my favourites.'

Sirius snorted and shook his head. That was a nice touch, waiting until the last second to reveal she knew what he was up to. At least it seemed like she didn't mind. He hurried back down the stairs, getting dizzier by the second, and made it to the third-floor classroom with minutes to spare. James, Remus and Peter were waiting for him.

'Did you get it?' James asked eagerly.

'Merlin, James. Let him catch his breath first,' Remus said.

Sirius nodded but didn't speak. He was too busy trying to get air into his lungs.

'Come on, let's get inside. We don't want to be disqualified for being ten seconds late,' Peter said.

They entered the room to find they were one of the last teams to arrive. A team of Ravenclaws followed them in seconds later, and then a loud bong sounded and the words " _Times Up!"_ appeared on the back wall of the stage in the same fiery letters as before. The suit of armour clanked back onto the stage and waved.

'Congratulations, Nifflers! I know you've all worked very hard to find all the items on your lists. Let's begin the count! Who wants to go first?'

'Let's go last,' James whispered to the others. 'It'll be more impressive.'

They all nodded in agreement. The count seemed to drag on forever. Some of the teams had collected a few of the five-point items. One team had even managed to get a decorative tool from Sprout. Diggory's team was looking very smug, having achieved forty-five points by collecting all the single point items and all the five-point items, except the telescope. No one had a telescope.

When everyone else had presented their collections, James stepped forward.

'Team name?' the suit of armour asked.

'The Magical Mischief Makers,' James answered, puffing out his chest.

Some of the older students watching laughed. They wouldn't be laughing for long, Sirius thought.

'And what do you have?'

Peter walked forward first, dumping out the contents of his bag onto the floor in front of the suit of armour.

'A muggle pen, a purple sock, a blue button, a pair of sunglasses and a paintbrush,' the suit of armour listed. 'Five points.'

Remus stepped forward and presented the trophy, saucepan and book, followed by Sirius, who produced the teapot from his bag.

The suit of armour announced the names of the items for the benefit of the crowd, finishing with, 'That's a total of twenty-five points for the Magical Mischief Makers.'

'Oh, we're not done yet,' Sirius said with a grin. 'We'll be right back.'

The four of them dashed out of the room. Remus grabbed the broomstick, and Sirius helped James pick up the heavy telescope and carry it carefully into the room to the most enjoyable sound of gasps of awe.

'How did they get that here without being caught?' someone said.

'Thirty-five points. It's an impressive haul but not quite enough I'm afraid,' the suit of armour said.

James rubbed his chin and nodded sadly before dramatically perking up and asking, 'What about if we add these?'

They each reached into their bags one more time, pulled out the last of their items and held them up. Sirius was holding the tartan scarf, James the jewel-encrusted trowel, Remus had the small vial of golden potion and Peter the gold medal from Flitwick.

There was a moment of stunned silence before the room went wild with hoots, cheers and clapping. All except for Diggory and his team, who looked about ready to murder them. Sirius took a bow and saw James doing the same out of the corner of his eye. They were so alike.

'Seventy-five points! Folks, we have a winner! Please return here after dinner to collect your reward. Your items will be checked for trickery in the meantime. Thank you all for taking part in the Hogwarts Annual Super Secret Niffler Hunt. I hope to see you all again next year.'

Their prize turned out to be a selection of treats from Honeydukes, much to Peter and Remus' delight. Sirius spent the evening with his friends, celebrating their tremendous victory and relishing in the thought of the infamy it had undoubtedly bought them. Life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The line 'Hufflepuff's are particularly good finders,' is taken from A Very Potter Musical by StarKid Productions. If you haven't seen it, it's on YouTube and I recommend watching it. It's hilarious. XD


	19. Chapter 18

Saturday, 2nd October 1971, 1:15 pm

As September melted into October, a noticeable chill fell over the castle. If one woke before sunrise and looked out of the window, they would be treated to the sight of the green lawns coated with a silvery frost, but there was still enough warmth in the air that it disappeared with the coming of dawn.

Remus was not looking forward to the full moon in two days' time, but he was pleased he'd be spending it in the fire-warmed house in Hogsmeade, and not in the garden hole his dad had dug for him. He had been hoping to get plenty of rest over the weekend. The full moon that month fell on a Monday, their busiest day of the week, with no free periods and three magically demanding classes. It was going to be exhausting. Unfortunately, James had other ideas for their Saturday.

'It's the Quidditch try-outs. We have to go!'

'But I'm tired, James. I don't really want to do anything this weekend.'

'You don't have to do anything, just sit and watch.'

Remus found it difficult to argue with that. He couldn't explain that it wasn't just a physical tiredness but a deep spiritual one that throbbed all the way down to his soul. No one would understand if he said that the slightest sound made his ears ring and his brain buzz. They would think him a freak if he tried to explain that every scent burnt his nose and choked his breath.

Remus turned away from James so he wouldn't see the pain in his expression when he climbed off the bed. 'Alright. I'll come. Let me get my cloak.'

James cheered, and Remus cringed at the sound.

When they got down to the common room, Sirius looked surprised to see him. 'I thought you were going to have a nap?'

Remus shrugged. 'James persuaded me to come.'

Sirius frowned at James but didn't say anything further.

'Come on then. What are we waiting for?' Peter asked. He was wearing a Gryffindor hat and scarf set and had painted his face in red and gold stripes. They looked glittery.

'You know this is just the try-outs, don't you, mate? It's not a match,' Remus said.

Peter laughed. 'I know, I just really wanted to test the paints.'

They made their way out to the Quidditch pitch where the try-outs were being held, and Remus found the cool air soothing on his aching joints. He couldn't understand why the pain had started so much earlier this month. It didn't usually hurt until the day of the full moon.

When they reached their destination, they took seats in the Gryffindor area of the stands, and Remus breathed a sigh of relief that he was sitting down again. But it was to be short-lived because, when the potential team members arrived and began displaying their skills, the noise was horrendous. People cheered for their favourites and their friends; James was keeping up a running commentary next to him, and Peter was whooping every few minutes. Sirius, though, was uncharacteristically quiet. Remus was grateful for it, even if it didn't make that much difference to his overall level of suffering.

Sirius bent close to him, and Remus fought against his instinct to move away. He trusted Sirius. There was no need to behave like a frightened animal with him. 'Mate, you look like shit. Why don't you go back in? I'll deal with James. I told him not to bother you in the first place.'

'I think I will. I'll go to the library though and see if I can find out anything about the belch powder. James can't complain about me missing tryouts if I'm working on the Halloween display.'

Sirius smiled. 'Good idea, it's quiet in the library. I'll see you later.'

Remus waved goodbye, and as he walked away, he heard James ask Sirius where he was going but didn't hear the reply.

When he reached the library, he browsed the shelves until he found a book on joke-shop products, and then he found a little room with beanbags, on which he curled up to read. It wasn't long until he fell asleep.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius sat on his bed, putting the finishing touches on his Herbology essay about the care of jewelweed seedlings. It was due first period on Monday, and he didn't want it hanging over his head all the next day when he was trying to have fun. He glanced at his watch for the fifth time in five minutes. Remus still hadn't returned from the library, and it had been eight hours since he left them in the Quidditch stands. How long did it take to do a little research? Sirius couldn't actually answer that question. He'd never done research in his life. Maybe eight hours was a reasonable amount of time. However, it was twenty minutes past curfew, and Remus had no way of getting back to Gryffindor tower without being caught.

'James, I want to go look for Remus. Can I borrow the cloak?'

James glanced up from his own work, looked at his watch and raised his eyebrows, presumably surprised by the time. 'Of course, you don't have to ask. I'd come with you, but I really need to get this homework done. I still have McGonagall's to do after this,' he said, nodding to the parchment he was working on.

'No worries, I'll be quicker alone anyway.'

'Where are you going to look?'

Sirius shrugged. 'He said he was going to the library, so I'll try there first.'

'If he's not there, try the hospital wing. He didn't look too good earlier.'

If you noticed that, why did you drag him out of bed? Sirius thought, but he kept it to himself. He didn't want to start an argument when Remus was missing.

'Good idea,' he said instead, grabbing the silvery cloak from the top of James' trunk before dashing to his own trunk and then Remus'. 'See you later.'

'Good luck,' James and Peter both said, almost in unison. Sirius grinned and waved as he left the dorm room.

Sirius made his way down the Grand Staircase to the library, hidden under the cloak. The castle looked so different at night, and he'd never been out after curfew alone before. It was a little scary. The lights were dimmer and the shadows darker. Sirius felt the sensation of eyes watching him from the gloomy recesses. But that was impossible. He was invisible, for Merlin's sake.

When he reached the door to the library, he found it was locked up for the night. Damn. What was that spell Remus used to get into Flitwick's office the weekend before? Aloe vera? No, that was a plant. Aloemore? Mora? Alohomora? Yes! That was it. He hadn't been able to do it before, but that was just a game. This was far more important. If he didn't get it right, Remus could be shut in the library all night. He could be injured. Or really sick. What if Sirius was wrong about the lycanthropy and Remus was actually sick with something else? Something less predictable. Oh Gods, what if he was in there dying? Sirius had to master this spell. He just had to.

Having worked himself up into a panicked ball of nerves, Sirius clutched his wand and pointed it at the lock. Repeating what he'd seen Remus do to his journal, he moved his wand anti-clockwise and spoke the incantation. Nothing happened.

He tried again. 'Alohomora! Alohomora! Alohomora, you fucking bastard of a lock!'

Okay, he needed to calm down. Sirius took a deep breath, focused all his willpower on his desire to get that lock open, and tried one more time. 'Alohomora,' he said, enunciating every syllable. The lock clicked open. Yes! I am brilliant! he thought, before pushing the door open and hurrying inside. Now, if I were Remus, where would I be?

Sirius jogged up and down the aisles, looking into the various nooks and crannies and checking the rooms that led off the main space. Five minutes into the search, he found him purely by chance. He had poked his head into a small room that had piles of beanbags for students to curl up on. Finding it empty, he had been about to leave and check the next room when he heard a loud snore followed by a shuffle. Sirius crossed the room in three quick strides and discovered Remus, sleeping, crammed between the wall and an enormous orange beanbag. He must have rolled off at some point. Sirius just stared at him for a minute. He looked so tiny next to the giant beanbag, curled into a ball.

Sirius was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of a hacking cough that was far too close for his liking. He pulled the cloak off, crouched down next to Remus and said as loud as he dared, 'Remus, wake up.'

Remus snorted and rolled over. Urgh, if only he could shake him.

'Seriously, Remus, you need to wake up.'

Remus' eyelids fluttered. 'Huh. Wha'? Wha's goin' on?'

'You fell asleep in the library. It's after curfew, and I think there must have been a warning ward on the door because someone's here.'

Remus sat up and blinked rapidly. 'Sirius?'

'Yes, it's me. We need to get out of here.'

A gravelly voice sounding almost gleeful came from nearby. 'I know you're in here. You'll be in so much trouble when we find you.'

'Shit. It's Filch,' Sirius said, running a hand through his hair from the stress of the situation. 'We'll be in big trouble if we're caught in here. I know you don't like to, but do you think you can cope with being under the cloak with me for a few minutes?'

Remus glanced down at his bare hands and back at Sirius. His eyes were wide and scared.

'Here,' he said, pulling two pairs of gloves from his pockets. 'I brought gloves for both of us, and I'll be really careful not to touch your face, I promise, but we really do need to hide.'

Remus hesitated and then nodded. 'Okay.'

Sirius handed one pair of gloves to Remus, and he put the other pair on. 'Thank you for trusting me. You won't regret it. Get up.'

Remus got to his feet, slipped the book he'd been reading into his bag, stepped over the beanbag to stand next to him, and let Sirius swing the cloak over their shoulders and pull the hood up to cover their heads. Just in time. A moment later, Filch appeared at the door to the reading room and they froze, not even daring to breathe.

-o-o-o-o-

Oh, Gods. Sirius smelled so good. All he wanted to do was turn his head and bury his face in his neck. That couldn't be a normal human urge. Other people didn't go around wanting to smell each other. Merlin, he was a freak. Sirius threw the cloak over their shoulders and pulled the hood up, and suddenly his scent was even more concentrated. It was overwhelming. Remus stopped breathing, and in the same moment, Filch appeared in the doorway, holding a lantern.

He didn't enter the room, thankfully. Just glanced around and moved on. Sirius let out a relieved breath next to him. Remus' lungs were screaming at him, and he gave in and sucked in a deep breath. Merlin, how could anyone smell so damned delicious. No! Not delicious. That made Sirius sound like food. He smelled… divine? Intoxicating? No, those weren't quite right either. Remus wracked his brain, entirely focused on the singular problem of finding the right word to describe the scent of Sirius.

Comforting.

Yes, that was it. Sirius smelled comforting. Like curling up in a favourite chair next to a roaring fire with a good book. Remus wanted to curl up on Sirius.

'Mate? You okay?' Sirius whispered. 'You're not freaking out are you?'

Gods, Sirius would be disgusted if he knew what he was thinking. He needed to snap out of it.

'No. I'm okay. We should go.'

'Alright. This is going to be really difficult if we're trying not to touch. Do you think you can cope with putting your arm around me like on the broom?'

Remus wasn't sure he could. It had been easier before, out in the open air and more than a week until the moon. Now, under the confines of the cloak, with Sirius' scent overwhelming him and the wolf so close to the surface, would it be too much?

He tentatively wrapped his arm around Sirius' waist. The warmth of his body bled through both layers of fabric and set his nerves tingling. His head was dangerously close to Sirius' shoulder, though. It shouldn't be an issue. His shoulder was covered by his school robes, but Remus wasn't comfortable with only one layer of fabric between their skin. He let go and moved away.

'I can't do it. It's too close,' he said, feeling his face heat with embarrassment. Gods, he made everything so difficult. Why did Sirius put up with him?

Sirius showed no signs that Remus' inability to co-operate bothered him. He just moved straight on to the next solution. 'Okay, what about if we link arms like the girls do all the time? They seem to be able to walk together like that.'

Remus nodded, and Sirius crooked his arm. He laced his arm through the gap and felt their elbows hook together. It was okay. There was plenty of distance between their exposed skin. This would work.

He glanced up and found Sirius looking down at him, awaiting his verdict. 'I'm good. This is good.'

Sirius grinned. 'Excellent. Let's go.'

They started towards the door, and the movement of air caused by their motion wafted a fresh blast of Sirius' scent into Remus' face. He inhaled through his nose on purpose, relishing in their proximity and his ability to soak in his scent. Then he felt a wave of shame. He was behaving like an animal. Like a beast. He tried to stop, but he couldn't. The allure of it was too powerful. He wanted to drown in it.

They had reached the Grand Staircase, and Sirius guided him up the steps. Remus' head was swimming, and he tripped a couple of times, but Sirius held him upright by keeping his arm solid and unmoving.

'Almost there now, Remus.'

He felt like his whole body was on fire. Every part of him tingled with the heat from Sirius, and he was surrounded by the scent of him. The soft thump of Sirius' heartbeat filled his ears. It was racing. Was he scared? Remus didn't want him to be scared. He whimpered.

'You okay there, mate?'

'Yes,' Remus managed to croak out. He was far from okay. Every part of him was focused entirely on Sirius. His smell, his heat, his heartbeat, the sound of his breathing in the silent hall. Merlin, was he hunting? Is that what this was? Was the wolf inside him hunting his friend? Gods, he wasn't fit to be around people. Sirius was just trying to help him, and he was taking advantage. He was despicable.

They reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, and Remus tore himself away from Sirius. Turning his back on him so he wouldn't see the wolf in his eyes. He bent over with his hands on his knees and panted, taking deep, Sirius-free breaths of clean air and trying to clear the smell from his nose and his mind. Behind him, he heard Sirius give the password.

'Come on, mate. Let's get inside,' Sirius said, sounding worried.

Yes, inside. Safety. Remus' thoughts were scattered and erratic. One moment he wanted nothing more than to be close to Sirius. The next, he was recoiling from him. But he somehow managed to pull himself together enough to scramble through the portrait hole into the common room. Sirius led him to a secluded corner and got him to sit down.

'Talk to me.'

Remus stared at his hands. There was no way to explain what he was feeling, and he felt so ashamed. 'I'm okay. It was just a really long time. I'm sorry.'

'Sorry?' Sirius repeated with a snort. 'For what? Being incredibly brave and amazing?'

Remus looked up at him. 'Brave? How can you call me brave? I can't even touch someone without freaking out.'

'And yet you did,' Sirius said. 'Twice. Knowing how it would make you feel, you still did it. And one of those times was just so we could win a stupid game. If that's not bravery, I don't know what is.'

Remus felt like absolute shit. Sirius was praising him, and in reality, all he'd done was put him in grave danger. Gods, he was so selfish, risking infecting his friend with this vile disease just so he wouldn't lose them a game or get caught out of bounds after curfew. Was avoiding detention really worth destroying his friend's entire life? He couldn't ever let it happen again. Next time he would just take the detention.

'Remus?'

'Yeah, sorry. I think I just need to be alone for a bit. I'm going to go to bed.'

'Alright. I'll come up with you.'

Remus hurried up the stairs without looking at Sirius, greeted James and Peter and got straight into bed without even undressing. Despite his exhaustion from the coming moon, sleep did not come easily to him that night. And when he finally did succumb, he had horrifying dreams of Sirius tearing himself apart and erupting into a wolf, while his screams echoed in his ears. _'This is all your fault, Remus. Why did you do this to me?'_

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius woke up on Monday morning well aware that there would be a full moon that night. and he intended to keep a close eye on Remus. He was almost certain he was right, but today would prove or disprove his suspicions.

Remus was difficult to wake up that morning, which probably wouldn't have seemed that odd, but he'd slept most of Sunday away and Sirius had found him asleep in the library on Saturday, although he didn't know how long he'd been sleeping for. He really shouldn't be that tired.

They got him out of bed eventually, though, and headed down to breakfast. Sirius offered to join him in the kitchen, but Remus declined, so he followed James and Peter into the Great Hall, a little annoyed that he wouldn't know if Remus actually ate anything.

'Do you think Remus is okay?' James asked. 'He looks ill.'

Sirius tried to deflect. 'He's probably just getting a cold or something.'

Thankfully, they were distracted by the morning post arriving. James received a large box, wrapped in plain brown paper.

'It's from my dad. He's sent the belch powder for Halloween. I'll open it later,' he said, tucking it into his bag quickly.

Peter was staring at the teacher's table. 'McGonagall's getting a lot of post this morning.'

Sirius turned to look. He was right. Seven different owls had deposited parcels in front of her, and she had a wide smile on her face as she spoke to Dumbledore.

'Must be her birthday or something,' he said.

After breakfast, they met back up with Remus in the Entrance Hall and headed out to the greenhouses for Herbology. After an hour spent planting lemongrass, Remus looked ready to collapse. Thankfully, Transfiguration was next, and the first half of the double period was theory, so he was able to sit down for a while. They were learning how to combine the theory of transfiguring an object's colour and material, so they could change both at the same time. Remus dozed off several times, and Sirius was forced to kick his chair to wake him up. During the second half of the lesson where they were attempting to turn a red matchstick into an orange needle, Remus didn't even try. That was strange, but stranger still, McGonagall didn't say a word to him, despite reprimanding three other students for not putting enough effort in.

The evidence was stacking up.

After lunch, they had their second Charms lesson on diffindo and were supposed to be slicing through a piece of cloth, but again Remus just sat with his head on the desk and Flitwick ignored him entirely. Sirius pretended not to notice.

The final lesson of the day was Defence, and Professor Hawthorne lectured them on the chupacabra. Remus looked up briefly with vague interest when Emhio shifted into the creature but made no notes, and Lily seemed quite concerned about him.

Sirius had used his astronomy book the night before to do the calculations and worked out that moonrise was at ten past six. So he was unsurprised when Remus announced on their way to dinner that he was going to go to the hospital wing because he felt unwell. He was leaving more than an hour before moonrise. Did that mean he had to travel a long way? Or that he'd be too out of it to travel at all if he waited much longer? Where did he go? Surely he didn't really spend the night in the hospital wing? Sirius had so many questions.

After dinner, Sirius, James and Peter went to their daily meeting with the birthday person of the day. That day was a fifth-year Hufflepuff called Chris Fletcher. He arrived at exactly six o'clock and greeted them in an upper-class accent. 'Good evening, I hope you are well.' Sirius rolled his eyes.

Then the unexpected happened. Chris was unable to open the door to the room, never mind blow out the candle.

'But it _is_ my birthday,' he said for the tenth time.

'Well, it seems the door disagrees, perhaps you should write to your mother and find out what's going on?'

Fletcher nodded and left, and Sirius turned to James and Peter.

'What the fuck are we going to do? It's only three hours until curfew!'

'We need to find someone else with a birthday,' James said.

'How?' Sirius said. 'We can't just run around the school randomly asking people.'

'McGonagall!' Peter yelled. Sirius and James jumped.

'Where?' Sirius said, spinning around on the spot.

'No. I mean, McGonagall got all those parcels at breakfast this morning.'

'You're right!' James said. 'Do you think she'll do it?'

'Only one way to find out,' Sirius said, already running down the stairs.

They reached McGonagall's office in record time, and James knocked on the door, rather louder than was necessary. They were shocked when it was answered by Professor Dumbledore.

'Hello. You three look to be in an awful hurry.'

James was too stunned to speak, so Sirius took over. 'Sorry, sir. We were looking for Professor McGonagall.'

'Well. I assumed as much. This is her office, I believe,' he said, looking at the sign on the door as if wanting to confirm he was, in fact, in the right room.

'Albus, stop teasing the children. Come in. What can I do for you?'

Dumbledore chuckled and stood aside to allow them entrance. They walked into the office and found Professor McGonagall sitting on one of the two armchairs, a glass of pale green liquid in her hand. Another glass was on the table.

'Professor. We may need your help. But first, I have to ask, is it your birthday today?' Sirius said.

She inclined her head. 'It is.'

'Brilliant. Happy birthday.'

'Thank you. But I'm fairly certain you didn't come here just to wish me a happy birthday.'

'No. We need your help.'

'With?'

Sirius took a deep breath and launched into the explanation complete with wild hand gestures. 'Well. Three weeks ago we found a hidden door. We figured out how to open it. Well, Remus did. And inside was a birthday cake and a poem on the wall. It said if we could blow out the candle on the cake every day for twenty-eight days in a row, we would be rewarded. But it can only be blown out by someone on their birthday. We managed to find someone for every day, but the person who was supposed to do it today, well, it didn't work. We're not sure why. Maybe he was born a minute after midnight and the clock was wrong?'

'So you want me to come and blow the candle out so you don't have to start again?'

'Yes. You see if we miss a day the room will move and we'd have to find it again. We really want to know what's inside. Please, will you help.' Sirius put on his most pleading expression. James actually got down on his knees and put his hands together.

Dumbledore chuckled. 'It sounds very interesting. I've heard rumours of this birthday cake room. I'd rather like to see it for myself.'

Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow at him. 'I will help on one condition.'

'Anything,' Sirius said, rather rashly.

'I want to be present on the twenty-eighth day in case this "reward" is dangerous.'

James jumped to his feet. 'That's no problem at all. The last day is the fifteenth, and we'll be doing it at six o'clock.'

'Well then,' Professor McGonagall said, standing up. 'Lead the way.'

They led the headmaster and their head of house through the school and up to the seventh-floor landing where Sirius opened the portrait with a dramatic, 'Congratulations.'

'How did you find out the password?' Professor Dumbledore asked with interest.

'The portrait of Silas down there told us,' Sirius said, pointing, and Dumbledore nodded.

'You have to tell the door it's your birthday and be telling the truth to open it,' James explained.

'And how did you work that out?' Professor McGonagall asked.

'Remus translated the runes.'

'Impressive,' she said. 'It is my birthday.'

The door clicked open with the usual quiet fanfare sounding from the surrounding walls. Dumbledore looked around at the noise.

'Fascinating,' he said.

They walked in, and the two professors read the poem on the wall and glanced at the glowing lights. There were sixteen of them by that point.

'Are those lights keeping track?' Dumbledore asked. They all nodded. 'You're doing very well. Can I ask how you recruited your volunteers?'

'We made posters and hung them on the notice-boards in the common rooms,' Sirius told him.

'Indeed? Very industrious.'

'Thank you, sir.'

'Shall I proceed?' Professor McGonagall asked, arching an eyebrow.

'Ah yes. Please go ahead. I'm quite anxious to see what happens.'

Professor McGonagall bent down and blew out the candle. The fanfare sounded, and a seventeenth light glowed to life on the wall above the words, _Happy Birthday, Minerva McGonagall._ A moment later the candle re-lit itself.

'Fascinating,' Professor Dumbledore said again, clapping his hands together. 'I do so love a mystery. Congratulations on your find, boys, and we will see you here on the fifteenth. I'm very excited to see what's through that door.' He smiled at them, and he and Professor McGonagall left.

'Minnie's great, isn't she?' Sirius said, grinning at his friends.


	20. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was determined to save this chapter and not post it until tomorrow, but as I have ADHD and therefore very little self-control, I'm posting it today. I just couldn't stop thinking about it being sat there, ready, waiting to be read. I really love this chapter and I hope you all love it too.

Tuesday, 5th October 1971, 4:30 pm

Remus left the hospital wing and headed straight for Gryffindor tower. He was still a little sore from his transformation, but there was no way he was going to admit that to Madam Pomfrey. Knowing her, she would keep him in for an extra night, and he wanted to see his friends too much for that. He had information they needed to know. 

Before leaving, though, he had asked her about the mystery of his full-moon symptoms starting so much earlier than normal, and she had put it down to how much he was using his magic every day. It was nice to have an answer, but, on this occasion, he hoped she was wrong. If she was right, it meant three full days of pain every month instead of one. Although, when he really thought about it, he had to admit, if he were forced to choose between Hogwarts and less pain, he would choose Hogwarts. Even if it meant pain all day every day, he would choose Hogwarts.

He clambered through the portrait hole, dashed across the common room (as much as he could dash with his aching joints, other people would probably call it a meander), and up the stairs to the dorm.

He burst into the room with an excited, ‘Guys, I’ve figured it out!’ kicking the door closed behind him, crossing the room and dropping his bag on his bed.

‘Figured what out?’ James asked, leaping off his bed and jumping around, apparently caught up in the excitement.

‘Hello, Remus. And how are you feeling?’ Sirius asked from where he was lounging on his bed and writing in his journal.

Remus turned to face Sirius. ‘I’m all better now, thank you. Nothing to worry about.’ He turned back to James, who was still bouncing on his toes waiting for the news. ‘I’ve figured out how to make everyone burp bubbles.’

‘Yes!’ James punched the air. ‘You are the best researcher a team of magical mischief-makers could ever ask for! How do we do it?’

Remus smiled. He had been hoping the news would be sufficient distraction to keep them from asking questions about his hospital stay. It looked like it was working.

‘The belch powder uses delayed transfiguration, like on the robes the Marauder did. So all we have to do is add an extra layer and set it to be triggered two seconds after the first layer.’

‘And you know how to do that?’ Peter asked.

‘Yes, it’s really easy. I can show you.’

Sirius closed his journal and placed it gently on the bed next to him, stood up in a single, graceful movement and sauntered over to him. ‘Hmm,’ he said, looking Remus right in the eyes. ‘I think I know your secret.’

Remus’ blood went cold.

-o-o-o-o-

‘Hmm, I think I know your secret.’

Remus’ face went white. Shit. That was an epically piss-poor choice of words. Sirius hurried to finish before Remus did something ridiculously stupid, like outing himself by shouting, “I’m not a werewolf.”

‘You’re the Hogwarts Marauder,’ he said, pointing at him.

‘What?’ James said.

Sirius turned to James to explain his theory. And to take the attention off of Remus, who seemed to be struggling to catch his breath. ‘He has regular access to the laundry,’ he said, ticking each point off on his fingers. ‘He has apparently used delayed transfiguration before because he knows it’s “easy.” And he somehow knows the Marauder used delayed transfiguration to do the robe trick. He is amazingly good at transfiguration, as if he’s had lots of extra practice. And I’m pretty sure he was lying when he said he’d never altered a spell before. Therefore, I conclude, he is the Marauder.’

James’ eyes went wide, and he turned to Remus. ‘Is he right? Are you the Marauder?’

Remus seemed to have regained control of his lungs and he nodded. ‘Yeah. You got me, Sirius. It was me.’

‘That is so bloody brilliant!’ James said, returning to bouncing like an over-excited squirrel. ‘We can all be The Marauders! It’s much easier to say than magical mischief-makers. Oh, I wish we’d known before the niffler hunt. We could have used it for our team name.’

‘Breathe, James,’ Sirius said, laughing.

‘That was awesome, Remus. I really liked the lion,’ Peter said.

‘Thanks, Pete. I can make you another one if you like?’

Peter grinned. ‘Yes, please!’

James suddenly stopped bouncing. ‘If we’re going to be a club, we need rules and stuff.’

Remus frowned. ‘We’re a club now?’

‘Hell yeah, we’re a club!’ Sirius said.

James ran over to his trunk and pulled out another brand new notebook with a beautiful red dragon-hide cover, before sitting at the head of his bed cross-legged and patting the mattress in front of him. ‘Come on.’

Sirius and Peter were quick to pile on, but Remus hesitated. Sirius shuffled further over to make more room for him. ‘Come on, mate. You’re safe with us.’

Remus climbed onto the bed with extreme caution, sitting himself right on the edge. He was in danger of falling off, but Sirius didn’t want to push him. The full moon was only last night. Speaking of which…

‘Oh, if this is our first club meeting, then we should have chocolate,’ he said, before climbing carefully off the bed and going to his trunk to fetch the extra-large box of chocolate frogs he’d ordered ready for today. Fancy expensive chocolates were delicious, but right now Remus needed quantity, not quality, and he figured he’d be willing to eat more if they were cheap ones.

Sirius plonked the box in the middle of James’ bed and climbed back on.

James raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Are we ready now?’ 

‘Not quite,’ Sirius said. He ripped the box open, took out four chocolate frogs, throwing one to each of them and ripping the fourth open, before taking a bite. ‘Now we’re ready.’

James chuckled and shook his head. Ignoring his chocolate frog, he placed the notebook on top of the box in the middle of the bed. ‘This book comes with a built-in notice-me-not charm. If we all channel our magic into it and then activate the charm, we’ll be the only ones who see it.’

Sirius frowned at James. ‘Are you telling me you’ve had a way to pass notes in class without being seen this whole time and you never said?’

James gaped at him. ‘I never even thought of that.’

‘Idiot,’ Sirius said, cuffing James around the back of the head.

James scowled at him but didn’t argue. ‘Yeah, alright. Get your wands out then.’

They all took out their wands and channelled their magic into the notebook before James activated the charm. He opened the notebook to the first page and wrote _“The Marauders”_ across the top, followed by their names in a list.

‘We need to pick roles,’ James said. ‘I’m the ideas man, and Remus is obviously Chief of Research. Sirius?’

Sirius grinned. ‘I’m the charm.’

‘Why exactly do we need charm?’

‘To charm our way out of detention, of course. Minnie loves me.’

‘Hmm. We’ll come back to you. Peter?’

Peter shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I’m not really any good at anything.’

‘You’re great at potions. You’ve stopped me killing myself at least twice,’ Remus said.

‘And we’re all very grateful for that,’ Sirius said, nodding.

‘Chief Potioneer,’ James said, writing it down next to Peter’s name.

‘If Remus and Peter are both Chiefs, then we should be too,’ Sirius said. ‘You can be Chief Imaginator. And I’ll be Chief… Um.’

‘Artist?’ Remus suggested.

‘Excellent idea.’ James wrote both the titles next to their names and turned the page. He wrote _Marauders Code_ along the top of the new page and looked back up.

‘Rules?’

Sirius grinned. ‘All feast days are Marauder celebrations and should be marked as such with Mischief.’

James pointed his quill at him. ‘Nice!’

‘All Marauder Mischief should be harmless and fun for everyone,’ Remus said before taking a large bite from his third chocolate frog. 

‘Unless we’re getting revenge,’ James said.

‘That’s not mischief,’ Remus said with a shrug. ‘It’s revenge.’

‘Good point.’ James wrote it down.

‘Marauders always keep each other’s secrets,’ Peter said.

‘But are not obligated to reveal their secrets before they’re ready,’ Sirius added quickly, making extra sure he wouldn’t look at Remus when he said it by reaching for another chocolate frog.

‘Rule, and amendment, accepted,’ James said.

‘Ooh, Marauders always come before girls,’ Sirius said.

James rolled his eyes. ‘Obviously.’ He wrote it down anyway.

‘A Marauder will always come to a fellow Marauder’s aid,’ Peter said.

‘That really goes without saying, doesn’t it?’ James said. ‘But I’ll write it down anyway.’

None of them could think of any other rules, so James put the notebook away, and they spent the rest of the evening stuffing their faces with chocolate and making more plans for Halloween. Remus was given a new research assignment, trying to find the recipe for the animation potion they had used before, and Sirius was delegated the task of drawing the most realistic picture of a bat he could manage. 

-o-o-o-o-

They didn’t find time to practise the mass delayed-transfiguration until Saturday. Remus had still been exhausted from the moon on Wednesday and spent the whole afternoon asleep, and it was far too much work to bother starting during a measly hour-long free period. Thursday evening, Remus and Sirius had Art Club, and Friday evening, they had all agreed they were too tired.

Remus sat his students down in a line on the floor and gave them each a bowl he’d borrowed from the kitchen that morning.

‘I want you to find your magical core and channel your magic into the bowl, just like we did with the notebook,’ he said.

He watched as they all placed their wand tips on their bowls and closed their eyes, and he knew it was working when the hairs on his arms stood on end. 

‘Good. Now’—he handed each of them a chocolate frog wrapper he had saved for the lesson—‘I want you to turn your wrapper pink.’

They frowned at him but did as they were told.

‘What was the point in that?’ James asked. ‘We’ve been able to do that for weeks.’

‘Because you have to do what you just did at the same time as channelling your magic and speaking the incantations for the delayed transfiguration, the timing charm and my combining spell.’

‘I thought you said it was easy,’ Sirius said.

Remus shrugged. ‘It is. You just have to focus.’

‘I can’t focus on that many things at once. I can barely focus on one thing.’

‘I found it easiest if you start channelling first, before focusing on your target and intent. Once you have your magic flowing, it’s fairly easy to turn your attention to something else while it continues in the background. We can work on adding the incantations when you get the hang of the first part.’

‘Okay,’ Sirius said, still sounding sceptical.

‘So, start channelling your magic. Once it’s flowing into the bowl, create your mental images of the pink wrapper and whatever colour you want to turn it. And if you think you’re ready, say the incantation for the delayed transfiguration. _Moratus Mutatio_. You’ll need to channel for about twenty seconds to change the wrapper.’ 

‘Moratus Mutatio,’ they all repeated before beginning the task.

James was the first to open his eyes. He grinned at Remus but didn’t speak, obviously knowing better than to break his friends’ concentration. Peter was next. He looked around and seemed surprised to see Sirius was still trying. Looking at Remus, he raised his eyebrows, jerked his head towards Sirius and raised his fists in the air as if celebrating a victory. It took all of Remus’ self-control not to laugh. Sirius didn’t take much longer, opening his eyes about thirty seconds after Peter and glancing to the others. 

‘Dammit, I’m last,’ he said with a huff. 

‘It’s not a competition, Sirius,’ Remus said. 

‘Everything,’ Sirius said, ‘is a competition.’

Remus rolled his eyes. ‘If you say so. Let’s see if you all managed it, shall we? Drop your wrappers into your bowl.’

They did so and all three of them changed. James’ turned Gryffindor red, Peter’s turned white and Sirius’ turned blue with bright orange spots. 

‘No wonder you took longer,’ Remus said. ‘Why did you bother with spots?’

Sirius shrugged. ‘If you’re going to do something, might as well do it properly.’

Remus laughed. ‘Well, I guess if everything’s a competition you won this round. Ten points to Gryffindor.’

‘If only you _could_ hand out points,’ James said. 

Remus was finding he quite enjoyed teaching. He got a thrill of excitement when they managed to achieve something under his guidance.

‘What’s next?’ Peter asked.

‘Next, you need to learn the timing charm. I tested it with defodio, but we probably shouldn’t damage anything in here. You all have the hang of Wingardium Leviosa, right?’ They all nodded, so Remus continued, ‘Great, I want you to cast the timing charm on your wrapper followed by wingardium leviosa. After you cast the levitation charm, you’ll need to move your wand in the path you want it to travel. The timing charm is _Statuto tempus.’_

They all followed his instructions to the letter. Remus was a little surprised that James and Sirius were being so attentive. They never paid that much attention in class. But he supposed this was for fun, so it was far more important than class in their minds. 

Sirius and James succeeded on their first attempt. Peter took a few tries, but it was only a couple of minutes before his wrapper was floating around the room with James’ and Sirius’, seemingly of their own accord.

‘We have got to use this for Halloween. We can make the candles do a dance,’ James said.

‘That will take forever to set up,’ Remus said.

James rolled his eyes. ‘So? We can do it over a few nights if necessary.’

‘Alright, we’ll talk about that later. We’re on the last step now. Basically, do exactly what you did before but add the timing charm and my combination spell. The full incantation will be _Statuto tempus et magicae simulio moratus mutatio.’_

‘Merlin’s ragged and pointy hat, that’s a lot to remember,’ Sirius said. ‘How in Godric’s name did you manage to do all that?’

Remus considered the question. He hadn’t really found it that difficult. But why was that?

‘I think it might be the meditation.’

Sirius frowned. ‘The what?’

‘It’s a muggle thing. My mum bought me a book about it a few months before we started school. It helps me control my temper, but it’s improved my focus too.’

Sirius looked interested. ‘I could use a little help with that too. How does it work?’ 

‘It’s a lot of breathing and visualising stuff in your mind. I could teach you?’ 

‘It’s a date,’ Sirius said, winking and making him blush. Again. Goddammit. He really needed to stop reacting like that. 

Sirius smirked at him.

They went over the incantation several times until they all had it memorised before they tried it. Remus told them to set their timing charm for eleven o’clock. An hour would be long enough for them to get it done, he thought.

James finished first, again, after thirty minutes of trying, Sirius came second this time, finishing ten minutes after James and beating Peter by a full five minutes. They sat in silence, waiting for him to open his eyes. Sirius kept pulling faces, trying to make them laugh until Remus scowled at him to make him stop.

They dropped their chocolate wrappers into their bowls, and while they waited to see if they had been successful, they returned to the discussion of the dancing candles. 

‘It could be dangerous,’ Remus said. ‘If someone got in the way, they could be burnt or even catch fire.’

‘That would be bad. We’d be expelled for sure,’ Peter said. 

‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ James said. ‘I think we need to add that to your Marauder role. Remus Lupin, Chief Researcher and Safety Monitor.’

Remus bowed. ‘I graciously accept.’

‘Excellent, I’ll write it in the book later. So, Maraudering Chief of Research and Safety, how do we do the dancing candles without hurting anyone?’

‘Hmm, some kind of shield charm around the candles? That would stop anyone getting hit by molten wax, too.’

Sirius frowned. ‘That sounds pretty advanced.’

Remus nodded. ‘The basic personal shield charm is a second-year spell, I think. But we wouldn’t need anything that powerful for this. It only needs to stop fire and solid objects, not magic. I’ll have a look next time I’m in the library.’

‘Which will probably be later today, right?’ Sirius asked, laughing.

Remus refused to be embarrassed by his dedication to schoolwork. They wouldn’t be able to understand why it meant so much to him, so he couldn’t blame them for finding his behaviour strange but he wouldn’t hide it. 

‘Probably,’ he agreed. ‘I want to look up some things for the cockatrice essay,’

When eleven o’clock came, all three wrappers changed colour. James’ was gold this time, Sirius had gone for purple and Peter’s was black.

‘Well done,’ Remus said. ‘I can’t believe you all got the hang of it so fast.’

Sirius winked at him. ‘You’re just an amazing teacher, Remus.’

‘That might be a part of it,’ Remus said, feeling his face heating up again. He was going to end up permanently red at this rate.

They practised a few more times, trying out more complex transfigurations and working their way up to creating bubbles. They took a break for lunch, and the other Marauders joined Remus in the kitchen, where Remus taught them the theory of turning a gas into a liquid, as they wouldn’t be covering it in class until November. Peter picked it up surprisingly quickly, and Remus wondered if it was the informal setting putting him more at ease. The classroom environment didn’t work for everyone. 

By two o’clock, they were all happily transfiguring pockets of air in the room into bubbles of various sizes, and the dormitory was filled with them.

‘I think you’re ready,’ Remus said, with a wide smile. 

James fetched the belch powder his dad had sent him, and they settled down to complete the mammoth task. They would need to channel for an hour to be sure there was enough magic in the bowls to work on each grain of powder. 

-o-o-o-o-

The following Tuesday, after lunch, Sirius was lounging on his bed in the dorm, chatting with James and Peter while they waited for their spells to activate. They had been practising the timed levitation charm for Halloween, and there were a number of items placed strategically around the room.

‘Only four more days until we find out what’s behind the locked door,’ Sirius said.

James was sitting up on his bed, tossing a balled up pair of socks back and forth across the room with Peter. ‘I know. I can’t wait. What do you reckon it is? I bet it's something awesome.’

‘This is Hogwarts, mate. It could literally be anything.’

They all looked over when the door burst open and an out of breath Remus rushed through it.

‘I’ve found the recipe!’ he said, collapsing on his bed.

James perked up. ‘For the animation potion? No way!’ 

Remus sat up. ‘Yes. I still don’t see how we can use it, though. We don’t want to ruin the feast by making the tables gallop off again.’

‘Give it to our Chief Potioneer. He’s going to see what he can do with it.’

Remus stood up and took three steps across the room towards Peter when all of a sudden various items around the room rose into the air and converged on him.

‘Oh shit! Remus, duck!’ Sirius cried.

Remus didn’t need telling twice. He dropped to the floor and rolled onto his back to watch as the quills, socks, screwed up balls of parchment, and potions bottles carried out an elaborate dance above his head.

He pointed at one particular item. ‘That quill is out of time with the others.’

Sirius threw his pillow at him. ‘Shut up, it was our first attempt.’

Remus arched his head back to look at him. ‘Really? Well, in that case, it’s very impressive. Well done.’

A couple of minutes later, it was safe for Remus to stand back up, and he handed the recipe he’d copied from the library book to Peter, who looked it over with a frown. 

‘This is pretty straightforward,’ he said after a couple of minutes. ‘If I substitute a couple of items and add in a targeting charm at the end, we can make it so it only animates the bats. We’ll need to add one of them to the potion so it knows what to target.’ He looked up from the parchment. ‘It’ll take two full days to brew though.’

‘We’ll have to do it in here over the weekend,’ Sirius said.

‘But what if they do a dorm check and catch us? We’d get in serious trouble for brewing in the dorm,’ Peter said.

‘If one of us stays in the room at all times, we can avoid dorm checks. The house-elves don’t come in if the room’s occupied,’ James said.

Remus looked at him. ‘How do you know that?’

James grinned. ‘My dad told me. He thought it was important information every boy should be aware of.’

Sirius laughed. ‘I kind of love your dad.’

‘Strange. I kind of love him too,’ James said with a chuckle. ‘He would adore you. You should come over in the summer holidays. All of you. We can have a Marauder sleepover or something.’

Yeah. That wasn’t going to happen, Sirius thought. No way his parents were going to let him out of the house that summer. 

‘I can practically see you thinking, Sirius. You can’t possibly believe your mother is daft enough to refuse an official invitation from House Potter? That would be social suicide.’

He was right. She’d be furious about it, of course, but she’d have no choice but to let him go. Sirius grinned. ‘It’ll be brilliant!’

‘Yeah, it will! Peter, you in?’ James said. 

‘Definitely. I’m sure my mum won’t mind.’

‘Remus?’

Sirius glanced over. Remus was biting his lip. He knew what the problem was; he wouldn’t be able to say yes unless he knew exactly what day it was going to be.

‘I’ll have to ask my mum. But I’d like to come if she lets me.’

Translation: I want to come, but only if it’s not a full moon.

Sirius decided then and there to make sure the get together happened when it wasn’t a full moon so Remus could be there. It wouldn’t be a Marauder sleepover without the original Marauder, after all.

-o-o-o-o-

Two days later, after Potions had ended, Remus waited for the rest of the students to clear out before making his way to the front of the class.

‘Excuse me, Professor. I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about the uses of dragon blood in potions?’ 

Slughorn looked up from the essay he was marking. ‘Of course, my boy. What is it you’d like to know?’

‘Well, I was thinking about its use in healing potions. Could it be mixed with dittany to make its effects stronger?’

Peter had told him to ask that. Apparently dittany and dragon’s blood were an explosive combination.

‘Oh, Merlin, no! That’s a terrible idea. Dragon’s blood is very volatile, and it dislikes dittany immensely. Don’t ever combine them.’

Remus nodded. ‘Understood, sir.’

‘Do you have an interest in potions?’

Remus shrugged. ‘It’s more an interest in healing, really. You may have noticed I’m not particularly adept with a cauldron.’

‘Well, you’ll need at least a little competency with potions to get into the healers’ program at St Mungos. But I may be able to help you with that. I have a few connections in the trainee intake department. Why don’t you come to my party this Saturday, and I’ll see what I can do for you? You’re friends with Black, Potter and Pettigrew aren’t you?’ 

Remus nodded. ‘Yes, sir.’

‘Invite them along too. It starts at seven pm in the room next door to this one.’

‘I will, sir. Thank you.’

‘Not at all. Have a lovely evening, Mister Lupin.’

‘You too, sir’ Remus said, hurrying from the room and hoping he had kept Slughorn talking for long enough.

James, Sirius and Peter were waiting for him outside and gave him a thumbs up. They had got what they needed for the potion. Excellent.

-o-o-o-o- 

**The Official Marauders Notebook**

**_The Marauders_ **

_James Potter - Chief Imaginator_ ~~and Lily Evans Stalker~~

 _Sirius Black - Chief Artist_ ~~and Charmer of Teachers~~

 _Remus Lupin - Chief Researcher and Safety Monitor_ ~~and Chocolate Eating Genius~~

 _Peter Pettigrew - Chief Potioneer_ ~~and Master of Food Procurement~~

**_The Marauders Code_ **

_\- All feast days are Marauder celebrations and should be marked as such with Mischief_

_\- All Marauder Mischief should be harmless and fun for everyone_

_\- Marauders always keep each other’s secrets but are not obligated to reveal their secrets before they’re ready_

_\- Marauders always come before girls_

_\- A Marauder will always come to a fellow Marauders aid_

~~\- The Chief Imaginator is responsible for providing all Marauders with daily chocolate and must give compliments to them once every hour.~~

**_6th October_ **

_The crossed-out sections were added in permanent ink at some point during the night when all NORMAL people were sleeping, and they do not count. The main suspect is one Sirius Black, who is giggling like a girl. - James Potter Chief Imaginator._ ~~and Lily Evans Stalker.~~

**_7th October_ **

_Sirius! Stop adding things to the Official Marauder Notebook or I’ll kick you out of the club! - James Potter Chief Imaginator._ ~~and Lily Evans Stalker.~~

**8th October 1:23 am**

James! Never! And I don’t giggle like a girl. My laugh is deep and manly. - Sirius Black Chief Artist ~~and Charmer of Teachers.~~

**Monday 11th October 11:45 am**

_Chief Imaginator to Chief Researcher, Gods Transfiguration theory is boring, have you had any luck finding that recipe yet?_

No, I’m going to look tomorrow afternoon. And it’s not boring; it’s important. Especially if you want to be able to change, oh I don’t know, bubbles into bats? - _Chief Researcher and Safety Monitor._

_You have to sign your messages so we know who it’s from. I did it for you this time. And you make a good point, I will try to pay attention. - Chief Imaginator_

You know who it’s from, James. I passed it to you. And you’re not doing a very good job of paying attention. I saw you flicking bits of parchment at Snape. - _Chief Researcher and Safety Monitor._

_They were drawings of his ugly nose. I think he appreciated them. Please sign your name, for me? - Chief Imaginator._

I will if you do your work - Remus

_Fine! - Chief Imaginator._

**Thursday 14th October, 3:00 pm**

Remus, we need you to distract Slughorn after class. Can you talk to him about something? - James.

Sure, how long do you need? - Remus.

Long enough to sneak into his office and grab some ingredients. - James.

Ask him about mixing dragon’s blood and dittany, he’ll be horrified - Peter.

Why, what does it do? - Remus.

Let’s just say they’re an explosive combination - Peter.

Peter, you’re giving me ideas - Sirius.

Sirius, as Marauder Safety Monitor, I forbid you to blow up the school - Remus.

Remus, you spoil all my fun :( - Sirius.


	21. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe posting this chapter takes me past the 100k mark. I don't think I would have made it this far without the support of those few readers that comment on every chapter. There are no words for how much I appreciate you guys. Just hearing that you enjoyed the chapter gives me so much motivation. I love you all. That said, I appreciate my occasional commenters and silent readers too, you guys rock and I love watching my hit count go up when I post a new chapter. Knowing people are reading what I've written is an amazing feeling. 
> 
> Okay, gushing over, I couldn't stop myself posting this, even though I'm trying to build up a reserve of chapters for when I start back at uni in October and don't have as much free time to write, but I want you all to find out what's behind the door too much to wait. Enjoy. :)

Friday, 15th October 1971, 5:55 pm

Remus climbed through the portrait hole after Sirius and stood up straight. 'Oh, my gods.'

'Yeah,' Sirius said.

James emerged from the portrait hole next. 'Merlin, is the whole school here?'

Sirius nodded. 'Looks like it.'

Peter climbed out last. 'Woah! How are we going to get to the door?'

That was a good question. The landing and the staircase were packed with students. There was barely an inch of space to be seen. The noise was horrendous, and Remus was glad it wasn't closer to the full moon.

'Like this,' James said, before cupping his hands around his mouth and screaming at the top of his voice. 'Make way! Make way! Finders of the birthday cake room, coming through!'

Those closest to them looked around, and the crowd began to part like a pair of curtains.

'Walk in between us, Remus,' Sirius said. Remus nodded and manoeuvred himself between Sirius and James, with James in the lead of course. Peter took up the rear of their procession through the dense crowd. When they reached the right painting, they stopped and James glanced around. The crowd had fallen silent in anticipation.

'We're looking for Alastor Moody. Has anyone seen Alastor Moody?' James yelled into the silence.

'I'm right here,' a deep voice said beside them. 'You should be more aware of your surroundings. Constant vigilance!'

James coughed and looked up at the towering seventh-year prefect. 'Yeah. Right. Um. We're just waiting for Professor McGonagall and the Headmaster. They want to be present when we unlock the reward room.'

Moody nodded solemnly. 'Very wise.'

The teachers arrived a few minutes later, having waded through the crowd to reach them from the other direction.

'Looks like the word spread,' Dumbledore said with a chuckle. 'Let the show begin.'

'Er, yeah. Moody, if you could tell the door it's your birthday.'

Moody turned to the door. 'It's my birthday.'

The door swung open with a quiet fanfare, and the four Marauders, the birthday boy and the two teachers proceeded into the room. Professor Dumbledore asked the crowd to please wait outside for a few minutes. His request was met with disappointed groans.

Once inside, Moody blew out the candle and the usual _Happy Birthday_ message appeared on the wall along with the twenty-eighth glowing white light. The lights flashed a multitude of different colours in quick succession and blinked out. The fanfare sounded again, much louder than before, and a new message appeared on the wall.

_Congratulations on completing the task! I hope you have learned the importance of hard work and perseverance and perhaps even made some new friends. This room will remain open for the rest of the current school year. All possible safety precautions are in place. It is not possible for anyone to be hurt inside this room. Have fun!_

_Helga Hufflepuff_

'A founder's secret. How very exciting,' Professor Dumbledore said. 'Shall we see what it is? I think you boys should lead the way since you did all the work.'

'Go on, Remus,' James said. 'You did all the hard stuff.'

Remus stepped forward, pushed the door open and walked through into… blazing sunshine? What?

'Fucking hell! It's a fucking beach!' Sirius yelled behind him.

'Language, Mister Black,' Professor McGonagall snapped. 'But you are correct, it does appear to be a beach. How peculiar.'

'I do believe this is the fabled hidden swimming pool,' Professor Dumbledore said, walking in to stand next to them. 'How wonderful. I'd always hoped I'd be privileged to see it. Helga really outdid herself, didn't she?'

That was an understatement. The "room" was enormous. Swathes of soft white sand swept into the distance to meet a deep blue ocean, waves breaking gently against the shore. The "ceiling" looked exactly like the sky, complete with fluffy white clouds, and there was even a cliff face with a cave. The ocean flowed into the opening and ivy hung down over the entrance. Off to one side of the beach, there was a large building. A building inside a building. Hogwarts was so weird.

'Mister Potter, why don't you go and let the rest of the school know there's enough space in here for them all to join us. Be sure to tell them to proceed in an orderly fashion. We don't want anyone to be trampled.'

'Yes, sir.' James ran out of the door, and a moment later they heard his loud, confident voice relaying Dumbledore's message.

'Let's go over here so we don't get jostled,' Sirius said, leading Remus to the side of the door.

The students streamed inside and spread out across the sand, marvelling at the realism. A few went to investigate the building. They came back out a few minutes later wearing bathing suits.

'Hey, everyone, there's changing rooms in here and swimming costumes!'

It didn't take long before the majority of the students had changed and jumped into the ocean-swimming pool. Soon, water fights were in progress and several students who preferred to stay dry were building sandcastles or lying on the beach.

Remus was one of them. There was no way he could strip down to what was little more than a pair of pants and join in with everyone else. Even if his scars weren't horrifying, which they were, they marked him as a werewolf. They would be immediately recognised by anyone with the barest knowledge of lycanthropy. So he sat on the sand and he watched.

He watched Sirius and James jump into the water and swim out to the cave to investigate, and he watched Peter make the laborious climb to the top of the cliff to cannonball off of it. He watched as one boy got into difficulty in the waves and was magically levitated to the beach by the room, and he watched as the teachers decided it was safe and left them to their fun. Later, he watched as the fake sun began to set over the ocean, painting the sky in red and purple hues.

'Beautiful, isn't it?' Sirius asked, flopping down next to him. 'I'd love to paint it.'

'You should. We have the room until June.'

Sirius shook his damp hair out of his face and winked at him. 'I will if you come here with me.'

Remus smiled, thanking Merlin for the dim light that hid his blush for once. 'I'd love to.'

When it was nearly time for curfew, the prefects that were still present began ushering everyone into the changing rooms and, once dressed, off to their common rooms.

James and Peter appeared, out of breath and red-cheeked.

'We are so coming back here tomorrow,' James said.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius lay in bed a few hours later, staring at the ceiling. Peter had been snoring for over an hour, and James had just let out a snort that told him he was finally asleep. He rolled over and eased himself out of bed before tiptoeing over to where Remus was sleeping.

He pulled back the edge of the curtain and whispered. 'Remus. Wake up.'

Remus stirred and blinked a few times. 'Sirius?'

'Yeah. It's me. Come downstairs? I want to talk to you.'

Remus blinked at him again. 'Okay.'

When they reached the common room, Sirius suddenly felt a bit foolish. He had no idea what he was going to say. There was only one course of action available. Stall.

'I wanted to see the beach at night. Will you come with me?'

Remus stared at him, his face confused, but then he shook his head and smiled. 'Yeah, alright.'

They snuck out of Gryffindor tower and down the landing to the hidden door. The painting had been removed, and the door left open for easier access, and they were able to slip straight inside.

The beach was beautiful in the dim light of the enchanted stars. There was a full moon hanging in the sky, gilding everything in sight with a silvery glow, which Sirius hadn't expected, and he saw Remus flinch out of the corner of his eye, but pretended he hadn't. Sirius wondered when Remus had last seen a full moon with his human eyes.

'We've met before, you know?' he said before he could lose his nerve.

Remus looked at him steadily for a moment. 'Yes, Sirius. I know. We met yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that.'

Sirius sat down, leant back on his elbows, and dug his fingers into the powdery sand. 'No, I mean before school. We met a long time ago. I don't know if you remember.'

Remus sat down next to him with his legs bent and wrapped his arms around his knees. He stared out at the star-spotted horizon for a few minutes, and Sirius started to think he was never going to respond.

'I don't think I do remember. How long ago was it? Are you sure it was me?'

'I was five. It was cold, so it must have been during the winter, or maybe early spring? And we were in Diagon Alley. I got into trouble, I don't remember what for, something stupid I'm sure.' Sirius shrugged. 'I ran away and hid in the apothecary. You found me there. You saw I was upset and invited me to your birthday party.'

Sirius paused because Remus' shoulders had stiffened. 'Remus? You okay?'

'I think I remember. Your mum came, and she called me a dirty little freak.'

'She did.' Sirius chuckled. 'Because you kicked her right in the shin defending me. She was furious.'

Remus turned his head to look at him. 'Did I? I don't remember that part.'

'I remembered it. Every single day. You were my hero,' Sirius said, looking Remus right in the eye and willing him to understand how important he was.

Remus was quiet for a few minutes, and Sirius didn't know what to think. Was that the wrong thing to say? Had he blown it?

'So, then, why did you say no when I asked to share your boat?' he asked at last.

Sirius sat up and leant forward so he could see Remus' face. 'You have no idea how many times I've kicked myself for that. Gods, Remus. I told you I was saving the seat for someone, right?'

Remus nodded.

'I was saving it for you! I looked for you on the train but didn't see you, and I was scanning the bank of the lake for you. And then you were right there in front of me and I didn't recognise you. When McGonagall called your name and you stepped forward. Merlin, I felt like the world's biggest idiot. I thought I'd ruined everything.'

Remus laughed. 'You very nearly did. I hated you for those first few days.'

'I deserved it.'

'You really did. But you've made up for it.'

'Have I?'

Remus paused. Sirius waited, holding his breath.

'Yes.'

Sirius let out the breath he was holding, and they sat in silence for a few minutes listening to the waves lap against the shore.

Remus turned his head. 'Why did you need a hero?'

Sirius huffed out a breath. Why indeed? 'You may have noticed my mother isn't very nice.'

Remus inclined his head. 'Is she like that a lot?'

'Every goddamn day of my life,' Sirius said with a humourless laugh. 'I'm the disappointment. The unworthy heir. The lion in the snakes' nest.'

'They're all Slytherins?'

Sirius nodded. 'The ones that weren't are no longer considered members of the family.'

'I'm glad you're a Gryffindor.'

Sirius snorted. 'Merlin, me too.'

'Even though they'll hate you for it?'

Sirius shook his head. 'They already hated me, Remus. I've been punished every day of my life simply for being me. Impulsive, energetic, can't keep his mouth shut, brightest goddamn star in the sky, me. How could being sorted into Gryffindor possibly make them hate me any more?'

Remus looked away.

'No. Don't do that. Please. Don't pity me,' Sirius said.

Remus' head shot back. 'Pity you?' He shook his head. 'I don't pity you. I think you're incredibly strong, to take so much all your life and refuse to bend.' He paused. 'At least they gave you one thing. They gave you the perfect name. You really are the brightest star.'

Sirius snorted. 'We're all named after stars or constellations. It's a family tradition.'

'Well, you got the best one,' Remus said.

Sirius went quiet for a moment. It seemed like a good time to bring up the real reason he'd bought Remus here. 'Will you come swimming with me?'

Remus stiffened again and Sirius hurried on before he could say no. 'You don't have to get undressed if that's what you're worried about. I've noticed how shy you are. We can swim in our pyjamas. I just don't want you to miss out when it's all thanks to you that we even have this.'

Remus stared at him for a minute and then his face relaxed into a smile. 'Yeah. Alright.'

Sirius whooped and leapt to his feet. 'Come on, you have got to see the cave. It's amazing.'

They ran across the sand and into the pleasantly warm water, laughing as their pyjamas became saturated and weighed them down, making it hard to swim. Sirius pulled back the curtain of ivy and waved Remus inside. Then he watched as Remus' face lit up with wonder.

The inside walls and ceiling of the cave shimmered with luminous blue crystals, giving everything a soft glow. Remus' skin sparkled in the light. And Sirius got a weird tingling in his stomach.

'It's beautiful,' Remus said, turning to look at Sirius.

'I knew you'd like it,' Sirius said.

-o-o-o-o-

They didn't go back to the beach room the following day because they needed to brew the animation potion for Halloween. If he were honest, Remus was a little relieved. It had been a lot of fun swimming with Sirius the night before, but he knew he couldn't swim in his clothes with other people present. It would draw too much attention. So he would end up alone again, watching everyone else have fun, unable to join in. Staying in the dorm and well out of the way while his friends brewed was far preferable to that.

They had set the cauldron up in the middle of the floor on a portable brewing stand they had "borrowed" from Slughorn. The stand had built-in fire control runes, so they didn't need to worry about casting any fire spells too far above their level and killing themselves. Always a plus.

Peter, as their Chief Potioneer, was in control of the project and had spent the day happily ordering James and Sirius around and grinning every time they obeyed his instructions. They had taken it in turns to eat, James and Peter going first while Sirius monitored the potion. When they returned, Sirius had joined Remus in the kitchen for their meals so he wouldn't have to eat alone in the Great Hall. It had been nice to have company.

'Okay, this just needs to simmer for a few hours,' Peter said, dusting his hands off.

'Excellent, that means we can go to Slughorn's party,' James said.

Sirius shook his head. 'Someone needs to stay here to prevent a dorm check.'

James deflated. 'Oh, yeah. Guess it wouldn't be fair to leave someone out whilst the rest of us go.'

Remus put down the book he was reading. 'I don't want to go, anyway. If it's just a case of being present in the room and I don't have to touch the potion, I don't mind staying while you three go to the party.'

Sirius and James looked to Peter, who nodded. 'The potion will be fine.'

'Thanks, Remus,' James said. 'We better get ready; it starts in fifteen minutes.'

Remus returned to his book while his friends changed into their best robes and preened in the mirror. The preening was mostly Sirius, although James got in his fair share. They were ready to leave ten minutes later, and Remus waved them off happily. He was quite looking forward to a little peace and quiet.

Remus had enjoyed swimming with Sirius the night before, but his revelation about them meeting before needed some analysing, and he'd been too tired to think about it when they returned to the dorm, falling asleep the moment his head touched the pillow. He wasn't sure how he felt about Sirius remembering the day he was bitten in such a fond light. The day was burned into both their minds, but for very different reasons. For Remus, it was the day his life changed forever. It was brutal and bloody and full of pain. For Sirius, it seemed to be a source of strength. A memory that he clung to during difficult moments and enjoyed recalling.

Could Remus use Sirius' positive feelings about that day to reduce his own negative ones? Change the way he thought about it? Instead of it being the day his life was changed forever, could it become the day he changed Sirius' life? It would make it easier to cope with the 16th of February in the future if he could learn to look at it that way.

He was half an hour into his alone time when he came across a useful passage in his book and he stood up to fetch a quill so he could make some notes. He was working on a way to add a second layer of enchantment to the belch powder. James still wasn't satisfied that the event would be magnificent enough, and he wanted to make it bigger. Remus bent over his trunk to get what he needed. And when he stood back up, disaster struck. He tried to lift his foot to turn around, but he happened to be standing on his untied shoelace and his foot wouldn't budge. Wobbling, he flailed his arms and lost his grip on the ink bottle he was holding. The bottle flew into the air towards the potion. Shit! Remus thought, and tried to make a grab for it, unbalancing himself even further. The ink bottle landed in the potion with a plop.

The potion bubbled ominously.

Remus fell.

The potion exploded.

The bright pink goo shot towards the ceiling and rained back down over Remus, lying prone on the floor. The next thing Remus knew was the strange feeling of his clothes wriggling around on his skin and pulling him in all directions.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius waved goodbye to Remus and followed James and Peter down the stairs and through the common room. He was looking forward to letting his hair down and having some fun after the stress of potion-making all day. They exited through the portrait hole and made the long journey down to the dungeon where the party was being held.

As they approached the door, they heard the sound of music drifting out. They were playing something upbeat, with lots of bass. Sirius grinned. When they entered the room, the grin fell from his face. It was exactly like one of his mother's boring "parties." Lots of boring people standing around, talking. Not a single person was dancing to the music.

Peter made a beeline for the buffet table, and Sirius joined him for something to do. The food was at least good. The house-elves had outdone themselves. Unfortunately, Sirius had already eaten.

'Ah, Mister Black. So glad you could make it. I used to teach your mother, you know. Delightful woman. Brilliant with a cauldron,' Professor Slughorn said, appearing at his side.

'You must be thinking of someone else, sir. My mother is far from delightful,' Sirius said.

Slughorn chortled. 'Ah, teenage boys and their mothers. You'll change your mind about her when you have children of your own.' He patted Sirius on the shoulder patronisingly, and Sirius scowled.

'Ah. Mister Pettigrew,' Slughorn said, spotting Peter helping himself to a third chocolate eclair. 'I wanted to discuss a potential career in potion-making with you. You show a remarkable aptitude for the subject. Let me introduce you to…' Sirius took that opportunity to slip away and look for James.

He found his friend and fellow Marauder talking to an annoyed looking Evans in the corner of the room. Sirius didn't want to interrupt while James was trying his luck with the girl, so he slinked away and slouched against the wall, observing the party. It really was boring. Lots of important people, full of their own importance, talking about pointlessly important things. He'd rather be back in the dorm with Remus.

Never one to deny his impulses, Sirius pushed himself off the wall and strolled out of the room. As he climbed back up to the seventh floor, he pulled off his tie and undid the front of his robes, instantly feeling better without the restrictive clothes. He hated being dressed up.

He pushed the door open and quickly closed it behind him when he saw the state of the room. There was bright pink goo splattered on the ceiling and floor. Something had gone wrong with the potion. How? He'd only been gone for forty minutes. More importantly…

'Remus?' he called.

Remus' voice answered from the bathroom. 'Oh, Sirius. Thank Merlin you're back. Help me!'

Sirius rushed into the bathroom and was met with the sight of Remus, floating in midair, trying to fight his way out of his clothes, which seemed to have a mind of their own.

'What happened?'

'Potion exploded. Clothes animated. Can't breathe,' Remus said as his jumper, having managed to detach itself from Remus' arms, wrapped itself around his neck.

'Shit, okay, hang on,' Sirius said, reaching for the jumper.

'No! Gloves first!'

'Right, sorry.' Sirius ran back into the dorm to fetch his Herbology gloves and sped back again. He put them on as fast as he could and then ripped the jumper from Remus' neck and threw it into the dorm so it wouldn't attack them again. Then he paused. Remus was not going to like this.

'Remus, I can't do anything about the clothes, we just have to wait for the potion to wear off. You're going to have to take them off.'

Remus struggled against his shirt. 'I can't move my arms, the clothes are stronger than me.'

'Do you want me to help? I can probably do it with my eyes closed. Do you trust me?'

Remus stared at him for a long moment and then nodded. 'Yes, I trust you.'

Sirius felt a thrill at that. Maybe Remus would tell him his secret soon so Sirius could stop pretending he didn't know.

He closed his eyes and reached for the front of Remus' shirt. There was no way he was going to be able to manage buttons with these gloves on, so he just yanked on the edges, causing the buttons to ping off. He kept his eyes shut tight as he moved around behind Remus. As tempting as it was to look, and it was tempting—he desperately wanted to know what Remus was hiding, how bad it was—there was no way he was going to betray the trust Remus had placed in him.

He grabbed hold of the collar and pulled it down, and back so it released his arms.

'I think I can get the trousers myself now,' Remus said. His voice sounded scared and shaky.

Sirius kept his eyes closed and moved back in front of Remus. 'Okay, but I'm going to hold on to your arms, when you get them off you're going to fall.'

'No, don't. Just stand back and let me fall. It'll only be bruises.'

Sirius hesitated. 'Are you sure?'

'Yes.' Remus' voice was firm now, all signs of fear had vanished.

'Okay.' Sirius moved back until his back hit the wall.

'Thank you.'

There was the sound of material rustling and then a loud crash and a cry of pain.

'Are you okay?'

'Yeah, just a bump. I'm going to go and get dressed.'

'Alright.'

Sirius waited until he heard the door close before opening his eyes. He was immediately attacked by Remus' trousers and forced to wrestle them into surrender.

'You can come in now,' Remus called from the dorm.

Sirius kept a firm grip on Remus' trousers as he pulled the bathroom door open and entered the dorm. Remus was maintaining an equally firm grip on his shirt and jumper.

'What shall we do with them?' he asked.

'Stuff them in James' trunk?' Sirius suggested.

Remus grinned wickedly. It lit up his entire face, and Sirius thought he should grin like that more often. 'That is an excellent idea.'

'Well, I'm not just a pretty face,' Sirius said, tossing his long hair like Evans did all the time.

'Clearly,' Remus said, not denying that he was pretty, Sirius noticed with a thrill.

They stuffed the animated clothes into James' trunk and slammed the lid closed. The trunk rattled for a few minutes and then went silent. James was going to get a big surprise when he next opened it.

-o-o-o-o-

_**Extract from The Official Marauders Notebook** _

_**Animation potion recipe** _

\- Cowbane infusion

\- 25 Yellow rose petals

\- ~~Crushed snake fangs~~ \- _frog liver_

\- Essence of squill bulbs

\- Tincture of knotgrass

\- Dried billywig stings

\- Moondew drops

\- ~~Caterpillars -~~ _powdered chrysalis_

\- Powdered beetle eyes

\- Fluxweed

\- Flobberworm mucus

Step one: Pour cowbane infusion into the cauldron. Bring to the boil.

Step two: Sprinkle rose petals across the surface and leave to simmer for 1 hour. Remove from the heat.

Step three: The rose petals should have completely dissolved and the potion should now be a pale yellow colour with a faint pink sheen. ~~Add the crushed snake fangs, sprinkling around the edge of the cauldron~~. - _Replace with chopped frog liver, add to the centre of the potion._ Leave to simmer for thirty minutes. Remove from the heat.

Step four: The potion should now be faintly orange. Add four drops of squill bulb essence and stir anticlockwise three times, followed by four times clockwise and one figure-eight. The potion should turn bright orange.

Step five: Add one measure of knotgrass tincture to the exact centre of the cauldron and immediately apply high heat, bring to the boil and turn the heat down to simmer for two hours, stirring once clockwise every five minutes.

Step six: The potion should now be bright red. Add six billywig stings. One at a time. Stirring three times clockwise in between each addition. Boil for five minutes and simmer for thirty.

Step seven: The potion should be bright pink. Add twelve moondew drops evenly spaced around the circumference of the cauldron. Leave to simmer for three hours.

Step eight: The potion should be pale lilac and have reduced by half. ~~Add four chopped caterpillars and stir vigorously until the potion turns deep purple.~~ \- _Add four powdered chrysalis and stir gently until the potion turns purple._

Step nine: Add one measure of powdered beetle eyes and boil for two hours or until the potion turns bright blue.

Step ten: Add two measures of finely chopped fluxweed. Bring to the boil and reduce heat. Simmer for three hours. The potion should now be a deep turquoise. Bottle immediately and leave to stand for three days until the liquid has turned into smoke.

\- _After the potion has turned turquoise, apply a targeting spell and add target. Simmer for thirty minutes and then bottle. The potion should be green._

_Whatever you do, do not add a bottle of ink to the potion when it's pink - Remus Lupin, Chief Researcher and Safety Monitor._

But if you do, definitely don't then hide the resultant sentient clothing in your best mate's trunk for him to find first thing in the morning when he's sleepy and not thinking straight - James Potter, Chief Imaginator

 _Do do that, because the result is hysterically funny - Sirius Black, Chief Artist_ ~~_and Charmer of Teachers._ ~~

It was not funny, Sirius! - James Potter, Chief Imaginator.

 _When you fell over and the trousers wrapped themselves around your head? Mate, that was classic comedy! - Sirius Black, Chief Artist_ ~~_and Charmer of Teachers._ ~~

I banged my head! - James Potter, Chief Imaginator.

 _That's what made it so funny. And stop crossing out my second title! - Sirius Black, Chief Artist_ ~~_and Charmer of Teachers._ ~~

You don't have a second title! - James Potter, Chief Imaginator.


	22. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, no self-control. My beta edits it, I post it, Can't stop myself XD 

Sunday, 31st October 1971, 12:15 pm

The Marauders spent every spare moment of the two weeks following the potion disaster perfecting their plans, practising the spells and brewing a new potion which his friends had ordered Remus to stay away from. Something he had been more than happy to do. During the last week, they had taken it in turns to sneak down to the Great Hall in pairs during the night and cast the required spells. Remus had requested Sirius be his partner for the night missions, as he was more comfortable sharing the cloak with him than the others, leaving James to work with Peter.

The big day had finally arrived, and they were all feeling antsy and restless, anxious for everything to go off without a hitch. Remus, though, was suffering the effects of the coming moon on top. He'd woken that morning with a deep ache in his bones, and his senses were already heightened.

To make matters worse, his friends would not stop bugging him about being in the Great Hall for the feast.

'You have to be there, you put so much work into it,' Sirius pleaded.

'Yeah. You can sit at the end with Sirius next to you and us opposite. We'll make sure no one gets close to you,' Peter said.

Remus shook his head. 'I don't know, guys. It's going to be so crowded.'

'What if you come for lunch? Try it out and see how you feel?' James said.

That actually sounded like a reasonable idea. It wouldn't be as busy at lunch, especially on a Sunday. Everyone went at different times during the hour that food was made available. So he would be able to get an idea of whether it would be bearable without getting overwhelmed.

'Alright, I'll come for lunch, but I'm not making any promises about attending the feast.'

The three Marauders grinned at him in victory, and Sirius whooped for good measure.

Lunch went well. As promised, they sat at the far end of Gryffindor's table, furthest from the teachers and from the entrance, and Sirius sat on his right. Sirius was right-handed and Remus was left-handed, so that seating arrangement meant neither of them had to move the arm that was next to the other, minimising the chance of accidental touch. The hall was such a cavernous space that Remus even found the noise level bearable, and the food smells masked the scent of Sirius enough for him to focus.

Someone, probably Hagrid, had decorated the Hall for Halloween with fake spiderwebs, pumpkins, and orange and black streamers. Thankfully, none of the school's decorations would interfere with the Marauder's plans for the evening's entertainment, but they looked around with interest, making notes for the next year.

'We could definitely use those pumpkins for something,' James said, leaning over the table and pointing.

Sirius nodded. 'The streamers too. Even the spider webs have potential.'

At that moment, Remus spotted Lily approaching. 'Let's discuss this later. We have company,' he said, nodding at her.

'Hi, Remus. It's good to see you in the Hall for a change.'

'I thought it was about time. My friends promised to keep me safe,' he said, offering her a smile.

'Hmm,' she said, eyeing the other boys. 'Well, if you ever want a break from them, you're welcome to sit with me and my friends.'

'Why would he want a break from us, Evans?' Sirius asked. 'We're his best mates.'

'You can sit with us too if you want?' James said.

'Urgh, no, thank you. I'd rather sit alone.' She turned back to Remus. 'I'll talk to you in Defence tomorrow.' And with a toss of her hair, she returned to her friends.

'Yeah. Okay, bye then,' Remus muttered to her retreating back, wondering why she had such an issue with his friends but liked Snape of all people.

'So, after that rather rude interruption, what are we going to do for our Chief Artist's birthday on Wednesday?' James asked.

Sirius' birthday was on Wednesday? Oh, that just wasn't fair. The full moon was Tuesday night. He'd be stuck in the hospital wing all day and miss everything.

'I was thinking,' Sirius said, keeping his eyes on his plate and tearing apart his sandwich. 'I'd rather celebrate at the weekend. If we do it Wednesday, we'd only have the afternoon, and with Astronomy class at midnight, we might want to sleep. Saturday would be much better.'

James looked thoughtful. 'That makes sense. We definitely need an entire day to properly celebrate the birth of a Marauder. What do you want to do?'

Sirius glanced up and made eye contact with James briefly, before looking back at his mangled sandwich. 'Can we go to the beach room and make sandcastles? I've never made a sandcastle.'

James' smile dropped, and he swallowed, blinked rapidly, took a deep breath and plastered a fresh grin back on his face just in time for Sirius to look up at him. 'I think that sounds like a fantastic idea,' he said. 'We'll make the biggest, most outstanding Marauderly sandcastle that was ever built.'

Sirius grinned. Remus felt a thrill of excitement. He didn't remember ever making a sandcastle either, although he assumed he probably had been to the beach before he was bitten. And they were going to celebrate on Saturday when he'd be fully recovered and able to join in. He thanked Merlin for Sirius' vanity that made him want a whole day to celebrate.

'And after curfew, we can hole up in the dorm and play games. We can get snacks from the kitchen first,' Sirius said.

'Or we can sneak out and play games,' James said.

'Even better,' Sirius said, his grin getting impossibly wider.

The afternoon passed in a haze of motion. James would not stop pacing around the dorm room, muttering about all the things that might go wrong. Sirius alternated between lounging on his bed with an air of carelessness and rocketing around the room like he had a broomstick stuck up his butt, bothering everyone with his premonitions of doom. Peter sat on his bed with his knees curled up to his chest, rocking back and forth, while occasionally announcing how many detentions they would get if this all went horribly wrong.

Remus was the only Marauder who was calm. He knew everything had been set up perfectly. They had considered every potential thing that could go wrong and planned for it. The magic was perfect after the hours they had spent practising. There was nothing to worry about. Also, he was in a lot of pain and that was taking up most of his thoughts.

As the hour approached, the Marauder's excitement began to overtake their nerves. Not that that did anything to stop their continuous motion. James continued to pace, only his muttering changed to assertions of how brilliant it was going to be. Sirius went from lounging and rocketing to lounging and bouncing, and his declarations of doom switched to declarations of victory. Peter's rocking turned to jiggling and his announcements to giggles. Remus alone remained calm and quiet, enduring their restlessness in silence. Until he finally broke...

'Please!' he yelled, before taking a deep breath and continuing in a quieter voice, 'Will you all sit down and be quiet for a moment. You're driving me insane.'

'Sorry, Remus,' Sirius said, immediately sitting down on his bed and glaring at James and Peter until James also sat down and Peter stilled his jiggling.

'Thank you,' he said. 'You all need to calm down. If you go down to the feast like this, the teachers will know something's up.'

'He's right,' James said. 'If we want to remain anonymous, we have to act like nothing's wrong.'

'Deep breaths everyone,' Sirius said.

They spent a few minutes calming themselves down, and when they all felt ready, they made their way down to the Great Hall. Remus was a little worried about attending but talked himself into it. He really wanted to see the result of all their hard work and lunch hadn't been so bad.

By the time he realised his mistake, he was already inside the Great Hall and it was too late to turn back. He would have to grin and bear it. There were three times as many people present as there had been at lunch, and the noise was deafening. His head was aching before he even sat down.

They took the same seats they had earlier in the day, and they glanced around, waiting for the show to begin.

It only took a minute after the food had appeared for the first belch to sound close enough to their position for them to hear it. A few people in their proximity giggled, and the Marauders grinned at each other.

Sirius picked up his own fork and scooped up a large mouthful of mashed potatoes, one of the foods they'd added the belch powder to earlier, and winked at his friends as he put it in his mouth. The others followed suit, knowing if they wanted to avoid suspicion they had to be affected, and soon all four Marauders had joined the majority of the students, belching bubbles of various sizes which floated up to the ceiling. Remus glanced at the teachers. They all looked mystified.

Ten minutes later, the festivities kicked up a notch as all the bubbles simultaneously transformed into bright orange bats. A few of the younger students screamed, but the majority laughed as the bats flew around the hall, staying close to the ceiling and performing incredible feats of aerobatics, all while dropping orange and black glitter down over the tables. The glitter floated in the air, sparkling in the candlelight, but vanished before it reached the food.

After a couple more minutes had passed, and the air was sufficiently filled with sparkling glitter, the candles floating above the tables drifted higher and away, taking up positions evenly spaced around the circumference of the hall. Music started up, seeming to emanate from the walls themselves. That had been a nice little spell Remus had found quite by accident when looking for the shield charm for the candles. The candles began to sway to the tune before converging in the centre of the hall, high up in the air, creating a blast of flame that shot up towards the ceiling. The bats flew into the flame, each one hitting in time with a pulse of bass, and exploding in a fresh shower of glitter. When all the bats had vanished, the candles spread back out and carried out an intricate dance in time with the music.

The students craned their necks up throughout the display and oohed and aahed at appropriate moments. As the last notes came to an end, the candles returned to their original positions and a message blazed to life on the wall behind the teachers.

_Happy Halloween!_

_We hope you enjoyed the entertainment_

_from the Hogwarts Marauders_

All four house tables broke into applause and cheers. Dumbledore got to his feet and coughed to get everyone's attention.

'What a marvellous display of magic from some mystery benefactors. I'm going to assume that no school rules were broken in the process of setting this up,' he said, his eyes twinkling in the candlelight. 'And, as it would seem suitable safety precautions were taken to protect both the audience and the food, no investigation will be made to find the perpetrators.' With that, he sat back down and continued to eat.

'What the hell?' James asked. 'We got in so much trouble for the balloon thing, and they're not even going to investigate this?'

Remus rubbed his temples. He really wanted to go and lie down now the show was finished. 'Your balloon thing caused a lot of extra work for the teachers and inconvenienced the students. This did no harm. No one was hurt, there's no mess to clean up, and the food is all fine. No harm, no punishment.'

Remus excused himself a few minutes later and returned to the dorm to sleep. He'd enjoyed watching the results of their efforts, but he was paying for it in agonising pain. His head throbbed in time with his heartbeat, and his joints jolted with a sharp pain every time he moved them. It was nothing compared to the pain of his coming transformation, though.

That month, it was bad. Remus woke up for the first time late on Wednesday afternoon, and he was still injured. He could feel healing lacerations on his stomach, arms and legs and the ache of mending bones. Why hadn't he finished healing yet? Moonset was hours ago.

He lay there for ten minutes before Madam Pomfrey bustled in.

'Oh, good, you're awake at last. I was getting worried,' she said.

Remus tried to sit up, but it hurt too much so he gave up. 'What happened?'

Madam Pomfrey frowned. 'I'm not sure why, but your injuries were very bad this month. You're mostly healed up now, but I want to keep you in overnight, just to make sure.'

Remus nodded. It didn't even cross his mind to argue with her. He felt like shit. He closed his eyes and allowed sleep to carry him away from the pain.

The next time he woke, it was dark. He could see the night sky through the window, reflecting off the surface of the lake, including the moon, so close to full, its image marred by the ripples. He was feeling a lot better and the ridiculous amount of sleep he had had made him feel restless. He pulled himself to a sitting position and tried to decide what to do. Homework? No, it was already finished. And he had no research projects for the Marauders. They hadn't yet discussed what they were going to do for the end of term/Christmas feast. What he really wanted to do was make something for Sirius' birthday. He couldn't buy him a present as he had no money. So something made with his own personal magic would have to do. But what? An idea occurred to him, and he grabbed his bag, pulling out his wand, some parchment and a quill and got to work.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius didn't sleep much the night before his birthday. He was far too worried about Remus. As much as he tried not to think about it, his mind kept conjuring the images from the werewolf books but with Remus' face, contorted in agony, ripping himself apart. It was horrible. And he knew it was even worse for Remus. Wherever he was.

As a result, when he woke at six o'clock, he felt like crap and he thanked Merlin that he only had to endure two lessons that morning, one of which was History and could easily be slept through. When James and Peter wished him a happy birthday, he merely grunted and asked them to save it for Saturday. He wasn't going to celebrate without Remus.

He was like a kneazle on hot coals all day, waiting for Remus to return. No matter what room he was in, he oriented himself towards the door so he could keep an eye out for him. When they got to Charms class, he was pleased to learn they were working on Alohomora, Sirius wouldn't have to try very hard. He had mastered this spell out of sheer desperation, trying to get to Remus in case he was hurt. Thinking of that night only reminded Sirius that Remus really was hurt, an unknown amount, lying in the hospital wing, and he had to stay away because he wasn't supposed to know. He scowled at the padlock on his desk and jabbed his wand at it. The padlock flew across the room and clattered to the floor at Professor Flitwick's feet. He merely floated it back to Sirius' desk and asked him to try again. Sirius scowled at Professor Flitwick when he turned away.

'Mate, what is up with you today?' James asked. 'It's your birthday, and you're acting like you've just been handed a life sentence in Azkaban. Is it because Remus had to go and see his mum?'

It seemed like as good an excuse as any. 'Yeah, I just wish he was here is all.'

'I'm sure he'll be back in time for Saturday, though,' James said, patting him on the shoulder.

Sirius offered him a smile. James was doing his best. How was he supposed to know Remus was holed up in the hospital wing, possibly gravely injured? 'Yeah, I hope so.'

It didn't even occur to him until well into the afternoon that he hadn't received so much as a letter from his parents, never mind a present. When he did realise, he told himself he didn't care, but deep down it stung. His parents couldn't even be bothered to acknowledge the day he was born. He meant that little to them now.

James wandered over to him sometime after dinner. 'You alright, mate? You've barely said a word all afternoon.'

Sirius rolled over to face him. 'Yeah. Parents didn't send me anything for my birthday. I know they're mad, but they've never just outright ignored my birthday before.'

James sat down on the edge of the bed, and Sirius shuffled over to make room for him. James laid back and put his arm around him, and he snuggled up, putting his head on James' chest.

'Damn, mate. I'm sorry, that totally sucks. Your parents are evil assholes, and they don't deserve an amazing person like you for a son,' he said, squeezing his arm around Sirius' shoulders in a hug.

'Thanks, James,' Sirius whispered. His eyes were burning, but warmth burst to life in his chest. Peter joined them on Sirius' other side, curling up behind him and wrapping an arm around his waist. Sirius lay there for an indeterminable amount of time, wrapped in the warmth of his friend's arms. He was thankful to have found friends that were so physical; their affection was welcome after eleven years of being starved of it. But he didn't feel like he deserved any of it.

He began to get really worried when curfew arrived and Remus still hadn't returned. The worst part was, he couldn't show how worried he really was because Remus had told them his mum was sick and he was going home to see her, and hadn't said when he'd be back other than a vague, 'It'll be a day or two.' So, as far as James and Peter knew, there was nothing wrong.

He was restless and agitated all through Astronomy and kept turning the telescope from the constellation of Cygnus which they were supposed to be studying, to look at the almost full moon and send it mental waves of hatred for hurting Remus so badly that he needed to spend such a long time in the hospital wing. He wished he could sneak down and see him, but he wasn't supposed to know he was there. If Remus would only trust him enough to tell him, then he could be there every month, but how could he get Remus to trust him? Maybe he could bring up the subject of werewolf rights somehow and let Remus know he wasn't anti-werewolf. But it might scare him if Sirius just randomly started talking about werewolf rights. Urgh, he didn't know what to do.

Despite his worry, sleep came easily to him that night, probably because he'd gotten so little the night before, and he slept soundly through until six o'clock when his internal alarm clock—named Walburga—told him it was time to get up. He opened his eyes and glanced over to Remus' bed. Still empty. Where _was_ he?

By quarter to ten, Sirius was lounging on his bed, trying to think of an excuse to borrow James' cloak so he could sneak down to the hospital wing, when Remus finally walked through the door. Sirius tried to play it cool, not wanting Remus to notice his anxiety and worry if he knew something, but his relief at seeing he was alive and well was intense.

'You're back!' James said. 'How's your mum?'

Remus smiled and limped over to his bed to sit down.

Wait. Why was he limping?

'She's much better, thank you. The doctors are worried she might have a relapse, though, so I might have to go back again.'

'What's a doctor?' Sirius asked, and Remus and Peter both laughed.

'It's a muggle version of a medi-witch or wizard,' Remus said.

'Wouldn't a medi-witch be better?' James asked. 'Isn't there a magical cure?'

Remus shook his head. 'Most magical cures don't work on muggles. They don't have any innate magic for the magic in the cure to interact with.'

'Damn, that sucks,' James said.

'Muggle medicine is very advanced. The doctors are hopeful she'll be fine,' Remus said with a shrug.

Sirius couldn't hold back any longer. He needed to know. 'What happened to your leg?' he blurted.

Remus glanced at him. 'Fell down the stairs. I'll go ask Madam Pomfrey to look at it after Transfiguration.'

That confused Sirius for a moment. Hadn't he just left the hospital wing? But then he realised Remus must be expecting it to finish healing soon, and he needed an excuse for his limp to disappear. He must have been very badly injured to still be hurt now. From what Sirius had seen after the disastrous flying lesson, he healed really fast.

'I'm sorry I missed your birthday, Sirius,' Remus said. 'I really wanted to be here.'

Sirius waved his apology away. 'Don't worry about it. We're celebrating Saturday, anyway.'

'I know, I'm looking forward to it,' Remus said with a small smile.

Remus disappeared for the entire free period after Transfiguration, but he rejoined them for lunch, minus his limp, and ate with them in the Great Hall, which put Sirius in a fantastic mood for the rest of the day. He watched Remus during Potions and could tell he was struggling with the smells in the room, but with Peter's gentle guidance, he managed to produce a reasonable cough potion, and Sirius felt a rush of pride for his friend when Slughorn gave him an E.

After dinner, Remus announced he was going to the library to get his homework finished and wouldn't be able to make it to Art Club that evening. Sirius was disappointed. He enjoyed spending that hour alone with Remus every week, but he understood that the extended hospital stay would cause him to fall behind, so he tried not to show it and went alone. It was nowhere near as much fun without him.

Studying the gorgon in defence on Friday spawned a lot of Slytherin related snake-hair jokes, and Remus once again disappeared off to the library during the morning free period. But after dinner he announced he was all caught up with his work and spent the evening with them in the common room, eating the remainder of the post-moon chocolate Sirius had produced the day before and making plans for Saturday.

Sirius had no idea how they managed to wake before him, but at one minute to six on Saturday morning, he was awoken by his fellow Marauders standing around his bed and singing as loud as they possibly could.

_Happy Sirius day to you_

_Happy Sirius day to you_

_Happy Sirius day dearest Sirius_

_Happy Sirius day to YOOOOOU!_

The moment they finished singing, red and gold glitter showered down on him from his bed canopy.

Sirius sat up in bed, grinning so hard his jaw hurt. 'Sirius day? I like the sound of that.'

James grinned back at him. 'Today is all about you. Anything you want to do, we do. But first, presents!'

'You got me presents?' Sirius asked, shifting onto his knees on the bed and bouncing a little. 'Gimme!'

After running to their trunks, James and Peter climbed onto the foot of the bed and Remus perched at the head next to him, each of them holding a parcel wrapped in shiny red paper and tied with a gold ribbon. Sirius shifted over to make more room. James handed him the first gift and Sirius ripped it open.

It was a wizard art set in a beautiful mahogany case. There was an assortment of brushes and quills, all engraved with the words _Chief Artist,_ a selection of paints and inks; some that changed between two colours; some that would shift on the page to simulate movement; and some that would flash between many colours or shades, as well as a packet of enchanted canvasses and a fold-up easel. Sirius adored it and couldn't wait to try it out.

'This is amazing, mate,' he said, pulling out a bottle of ink to examine it. He looked up to meet James' eyes. 'Thank you.'

James looked pleased with his response to the present. 'I expect an awesome painting from you soon. We need something good to decorate the dorm.'

'You'll get one,' Sirius said, closing the case and leaning over to put it on the floor by his bed, out of the way. 'Who's next?'

Peter handed him his gift. 'I couldn't afford anything as good as James, but I hope you like it.'

'It's from you. Of course, I'll like it,' Sirius said, tearing off the paper to reveal a selection of sweets from Honeydukes. 'Excellent! It's always nice to have a stash of sweets.' He immediately pulled out a packet of ice mice and offered them around. 'Thanks, Pete.'

Peter beamed at him and took one of the proffered sweets.

Remus held out his parcel. 'I didn't have any money, so I made you this myself.'

'Thanks, Remus,' Sirius said, taking the package and smiling at him. 'Knowing you, I bet this is going to be brilliant.'

Remus just shrugged. Sirius pulled the paper off to reveal a rough wooden box with a hinged lid and intricate patterns carved all across the surface.

He looked up. 'It's beautiful. Thank you. You made this?'

Remus nodded. 'The box is a transfigured stick, and I made the hinges from some old quills. Open it.'

Sirius did so and gasped. The inside of the lid was dotted with twinkling, pale green lights, and one bright-red light, on a background of jet black. Sirius pointed. 'That's Canis Major. And that,' he said, pointing at the single red light, 'is me.'

The only red star in a sea of Slytherin green, he thought.

Remus nodded. 'It's a small section of the night sky as seen from Hogwarts on the night you were born.'

'Are you serious?'

James opened his mouth, and Sirius pointed at him. 'Don't.' James shut his mouth again and Sirius turned back to Remus. 'Fucking hell, Remus. That must have taken you hours to figure out.'

'Just a few.' He smiled. 'If you channel some of your magic into it to activate the charm, then it will only open for you. I thought you could hide things in it.'

Sirius shook his head. 'I was wrong,' he said, his eyes burning. 'This isn't brilliant, it's incredible. Thank you, Remus. I want to give you a hug, but I know you'd hate that. So just have the sentiment. I love it.' He grinned.

James clapped his hands and chuckled. 'Well, way to over-shadow our presents without spending a knut. I can't wait for my birthday.'

'No one has overshadowed anyone,' Sirius said, crossing his arms. 'I love all my presents equally.'

'You're insane then,' James said, jumping off the bed. 'Remus' was obviously the best. Now come on, lazybones, we've got sandcastles to build.'

Sirius grinned and put his new box carefully on his bedside table. He'd only been awake half an hour and the day was already the best day of his life.

They arrived at the beach room an hour later after scoffing down as much food as they could in the Great Hall. There was no one else there so early on a Saturday morning, and they made the most of it. Using a little charm that Remus had looked up in preparation, they each built a sandcastle big enough to stand inside on different parts of the beach, and then they staged a war.

They transfigured grains of sand into projectiles and used depulso and wingardium leviosa to fling them at each other's castles and defend their own from attack. The rules were simple. When your castle was destroyed, you were out.

In reality, it didn't quite go that way. James' castle was taken out first by Peter using a sneak attack from behind, but Sirius—ever the noble hero—offered him refuge in his own fortress. Outraged at the blatant disregard for the rules, Remus and Peter teamed up to take them down. Sirius' castle fell quickly under the continuous barrage from two directions. Making a snap decision, Remus called for his now homeless friends to join him, and together the three of them combined forces to take down Peter's castle. With three against one, it didn't take long for Peter's castle to dissolve into a pile of sand, and Remus emerged victorious as the only Marauder with his castle still standing, albeit a little worse for wear after the battle.

By the time their game was over, they had a small audience of fellow students who asked them for the spell to make the giant sandcastles so they could play too. Remus was more than happy to teach it to them.

And so the year of the Hogwarts sand wars began.

When it was time for lunch, they left the noisy, crowded beach-room and headed to the entrance hall.

'Would you mind if we all ate in the kitchen today?' Remus asked.

Sirius gave him a sideways glance. His face was relaxed, and he didn't seem to be in any pain or discomfort. And the full moon was three nights ago. 'Sure, why not? It'll be cosier, anyway.'

Remus smiled and led the way down into the dungeons and to the painting of a bowl of fruit. He waved Sirius through the door first, and when he entered the kitchen, Breen scurried over, bowed low and said, 'Happy Birthday, Master Sirius. Please follows me.'

Sirius turned around and raised an eyebrow at his friends, who were all grinning like madmen, before following the house-elf through a door, down a maze of corridors and into a small room that was decked out in red and gold banners. There was a medium-sized table in the middle of the room, surrounded by four chairs and covered with plates of delicious smelling food. In the very centre was a small chocolate cake, just the right size for four growing boys, with twelve candles waiting to be lit.

'I don't know what to say,' Sirius said.

James whooped. 'We did it. He's lost the power of speech!'

Sirius smacked him around the back of the head. 'Shut up,' he said. Then he wrapped him in a hug, released him, hugged Peter, paused in front of Remus, not quite knowing how to show his appreciation, before deciding to just point at him. 'Thanks, you guys.'

Breen left them to it, and they crowded around the table and dug into the birthday feast. Twenty minutes later, Breen returned to light the candles, and they sang another rousing chorus of Happy Sirius Day before enjoying the mouth-watering cake.

Stuffed full to bursting, they returned to their dorm for an afternoon of exploding snap, chess and gobstones. All things considered, it was the best birthday of Sirius' life, and he was already looking forward to next year when he curled up in bed to sleep.

The next morning, Sirius was about ready to strangle James within fifteen minutes of waking up. It was the first game of the Quidditch season, and to make matters worse, it was the most important one of the season. Gryffindor vs Slytherin. James was being unbearable. He had forced them all to dress in Gryffindor colours. Originally, he had asked Remus to make them red lion robes to wear, but Remus had pointed out that would ruin their anonymity, so they settled for just wearing red and gold. He then made Peter paint all their faces, except for Remus who did his own, and they headed down to breakfast, with James' continuous chatter about the players filling their ears.

The Great Hall was deafening. The whole school seemed to be present, and with twice as much energy as normal. Remus took one look and announced he was eating in the kitchen. Sirius didn't blame him. As they entered the Hall, Sirius glanced up at the ceiling to check the weather. Clear and sunny, perfect conditions. He hoped to Merlin, Gryffindor would win. The idea of James if they lost didn't bear thinking about.

After breakfast, they met back up with Remus and made their way to the Gryffindor section of the stands. They took seats right at the back, but the end seat of the back row was already taken, so Remus sat between Sirius and James. Sirius stole glances at Remus throughout the match, and he could tell he was having a hard time with the noise level. His smile didn't quite reach his eyes, and he flinched every time the crowd roared with excitement or disappointment. There was nothing Sirius could do about it though, so he concentrated on the game and tried not to be too rowdy. It was hard, though, when the Gryffindor team scored over and over again. They were on fire!

When the two Seekers suddenly swept into a dive towards the Slytherin goal, Sirius leapt to his feet with everyone else, caught up in the excitement and screaming at the top of his lungs.

"AND KING HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH! GRYFFINDOR WINS!" the commentator roared.

The crowd went crazy! Jumping up and down and screaming with joy. Suddenly the person next to Sirius shoved into him, hard. Sirius stumbled, and putting his arms out to save himself, fell into Remus. Remus crashed to the ground with Sirius on top of him and he screamed in absolute horror. Sirius had never heard a sound like it. It drilled into his soul and turned his blood to ice. He was frozen for a split second before he scrambled to get up. To get _off_ of Remus, who was still screaming.

'No, no. Get off. Oh Gods, no.'

As he put his hands on the ground to push himself up, his left hand brushed up against Remus' hand ever so slightly, and he jerked it away quickly, hoping Remus was too out of it to feel the contact.

He managed to get to his feet and realised everyone in their vicinity was staring at them.

'Alright. Shows over,' he snapped. 'Bugger off and celebrate.'

James and Peter took over getting rid of the gawkers, and Sirius crouched down next to Remus, keeping his distance. Remus had curled up into a ball and was rocking back and forth, repeating the same words as before.

'No, no. Oh Gods, no. Please, no.'

'Remus?' Sirius said.

Remus' eyes snapped to his. 'Did you touch me? Did you touch my skin?' he asked, his voice desperate.

Sirius swallowed. Then he looked him right in the eye, and calling on his many years of experience, he lied his goddamned ass off. 'No, Remus. I swear, by some miracle I didn't. I promise.'

Remus relaxed slightly and breathed out a sigh of relief. 'Oh thank Merlin,' he whispered.

-o-o-o-o-

_**Extract from The Official Marauders Notebook** _

_Notes passed between James and Remus during Transfiguration on Thursday morning, and later removed from the notebook and burned._

Remus, so glad you're back and your mum is okay. I was wondering if you could alter the glitter spell to rain from Sirius' bed canopy and make it Gryffindor colours? - James

Thanks, mate. I can probably do that, but why? - Remus

For his birthday! I want it to be really amazing. You know his parents didn't even send him a letter? - James

Gods, really? The bastards! I'll find a way to make it happen. Anything else I can do? - Remus

Can you find a spell that will let us make really huge sandcastles? Like, big enough to stand inside? I have an idea for a game we can play… - James

Sounds intriguing, I'll do my best - Remus

Also, do you think the house-elves would let us have a little dinner party in the kitchen at lunchtime? - James

I think they'd be delighted to set that up, I'll ask Breen. You're a really great friend, James. You know that? - Remus

I am, aren't I? - James.


	23. Chapter 22

Monday, 8th November 1971, 1:45 pm

Remus was sitting next to Peter in Charms class as far away as he could get while still being at the desk. The accident at the Quidditch match the day before had been a sobering reminder of how many risks he'd been taking. It had been stupid and reckless to attend the Quidditch match. Sirius insisted that their skin hadn't touched, but he was worried sick. Maybe it had, and he just hadn't noticed. He didn't know what to do; tell someone, or wait and see? On the one hand, if he told Professor Dumbledore, and he had been right and the Headmaster was unaware of how infectious he was, he might be asked to leave the school, even if Sirius was fine. On the other hand, if he told no one and Sirius was infected... Well, a lot of people could die.

He could afford to hold off on making a decision, though. The next full moon was over three weeks away. If he kept an eye on Sirius, he should notice if there were any signs of lycanthropy in him. Sensitivity to smells and sounds, for example, or acting like he was in pain when he moved around. He wouldn't be as used to hiding pain as Remus was.

They were practising Alohomora in class that afternoon, and Remus, Sirius, James and a few other students all easily unlocked the full range of locks they were given to practise on, and Professor Flitwick gave a demonstration of Colloportus and told them to attempt to relock them. He also promised a fun lesson as a final practical the following day. The students chattered with excitement at the news.

Remus couldn't find it in himself to feel excited, despite how legendary Flitwick's "fun practicals" were. He couldn't stop thinking about the possibility that he'd infected his best friend and cursed him to a life of pain, suffering and prejudice. Sirius would probably never speak to him again, and who could blame him? He'd been so selfish.

It didn't take him long to get the hang of the locking spell, and as he re-locked the last of the locks on his desk, he noted how pleased Madam Pomfrey would be that she no longer needed to take him all the way down the tunnel to lock him in. Of course, she would still have to come down after the full moon to get him and carry his injured, bleeding body back to the hospital wing. He was still a burden; he would always be a burden. Better to shut himself off so no one would have to suffer with him.

The rest of the week continued similarly, with Remus keeping his distance from everyone. Including his friends. He returned to his old routine of eating alone in the kitchens and spent all of his free time alone in a deserted corner of the library. The other Marauders seemed to be understanding of his behaviour, but it was wearing on their friendship, and he kept catching them whispering in corners and passing notes in class that never got passed to him. He told himself it was for the best. It was safer for them to not be around him. Safer for everyone. But gods did it hurt.

The fun practical in Charms turned out to be another maze, this one with locked doors in their path. Remus smiled throughout and joined in with his friends joking, but inside, he felt hollow. Dead. Sirius had yet to show any signs of infection, but it was far too early to say. The symptoms wouldn't show until three days before the moon at the earliest. Maybe not even until the day of. If he had been infected, he would have no time to prepare. Not that you even could prepare yourself for the agonising pain of your body ripping itself apart and rebuilding. Sirius would never forgive him. How could he?

In Transfiguration, they had moved on from altering an object's shape, material and colour, and were working on the states of matter, specifically turning a liquid into a gas, in their case water into steam. A few people suffered minor burns when they were unexpectedly successful. Remus kept his eye on Sirius. If he burnt himself, would it immediately heal? He couldn't remember much about his time in hospital after he was bitten. It was all a blur. How long did it take for the regeneration abilities to kick in? It didn't matter in the end. Sirius didn't burn himself; he was far too skilled for that.

They tended their flitterblooms and flutterby bushes in Herbology. It was the easiest class for Remus. The natural scents of plants and compost eased his mind, and having the gloves on made him more relaxed. His friends seemed happy that he was connecting with them again, but when the class was over and he was once again distant, he could see the disappointment on their faces and felt like shit. He should never have allowed himself to get close to them in the first place. It had been stupid and selfish. He wasn't safe to be around.

When Saturday morning arrived, Remus spent breakfast alone in the kitchen as usual. He wasn't looking forward to the weekend. It would be the first one he spent alone since becoming friends with the Marauders, and he knew it was going to be painful. He didn't even have the chocolate-flavoured nutrition potion to cheer him up, as Madam Pomfrey had decided he only needed it the day after the full moon.

He thanked Breen for the food and left the kitchen, feeling utterly miserable, and almost walked straight into Sirius, who took a swift step backwards to avoid the collision. Remus looked up to find all three of his friends waiting for him.

'You,' James said, pointing at him, 'are coming with us.'

Remus shook his head. 'I'm going to—'

'The library,' Sirius said, crossing his arms. 'Yes, we know.'

Peter shook his head. 'Not today, you're not. You're coming back to the dorm with us.'

James nodded. 'We've had enough of you avoiding us.'

Remus felt thoroughly ganged up on, and he slumped his shoulders in defeat. 'Fine,' he snapped.

'I know, it's such a hardship, having friends that care about you,' Sirius said, shaking his head sadly. 'I'm afraid that you're just going to have to grin and bear it. Because you're stuck with us.'

'Forever!' James added, his tone laden with doom.

Remus chuckled despite himself and followed them up to the dorm. They walked in silence; Remus had no idea what to say to them, and it seemed obvious that whatever they had to say, they wanted to do it privately.

When they arrived, they told him to sit down, and they stood in front of his bed in a line and launched into what appeared to be a well-rehearsed speech.

'We know you're freaked out by what happened at the Quidditch match,' Sirius said.

James nodded. 'And we can't even begin to imagine how scary that was for you.'

'But we miss you,' Peter said. 'It's not the same without you.'

'We're your friends and we're the Marauders,' Sirius said. 'And one of the rules in the Marauders code is that a Marauder always helps a fellow Marauder.'

All three of them nodded, their faces deadly serious. This was not a joke to them.

'Obviously we can't prevent you from being touched at all, although we will do our best,' James said. 'But we noticed that you're more scared about your skin being touched than when it's through your clothes.'

'And that was something we thought we could help with,' Peter said.

'So James wrote to his dad,' Sirius said. 'And he found these.' Sirius handed him a box. 'We all chipped in to pay for them.'

'Open it,' James said.

Remus stared at the box for a moment, glanced up at his friends who were watching him, and back at the box, before peeling back the lid and peeking at the contents. It was a pair of gloves and a hood, with holes for his eyes and mouth. He pulled them out. They were pale white and incredibly thin.

'They're made from kelpie skin, so I wouldn't wear them in Defence class, Emhio might get upset if she notices,' Sirius said. 'But when you put them on, they'll take on the exact appearance of your skin underneath, so no one will know you're wearing them.'

'We figured you probably wouldn't want to wear the hood all the time, but it'll be useful if you have to be somewhere really crowded,' James said with a shrug.

Remus didn't know what to say. They must have cost a huge amount of money.

'This is too much. I can't let you do this,' he said, putting them back in the box. 'You have to return them, get your money back.'

'Are you questioning our commitment to the Marauders' code?' James asked, crossing his arms. 'You need help, we have the ability to provide it. It's our duty to buy you these.' He shoved the box back into Remus' hands. 'I'm not sending them back, so if you don't use them, it will just be a waste of money.'

Remus' eyes were burning with emotion. 'I don't know what to say. Thank you. All of you.'

'You're welcome,' Sirius said. 'So, will you start hanging out with us again now?'

Remus grinned at his friends through his tears. 'Yes, I think I will.'

All three of them whooped with happiness, and Remus swallowed the hard lump that had formed in his throat. They really were the best friends in the world. But if they ever found out what he was, would that change? Would the rule about keeping secrets extend as far as lycanthropy? He doubted it. Who would ever want to be friends with a werewolf? Even his own dad could barely stand to look at him. He had to be prepared to lose them one day. His secret couldn't stay secret forever.

-o-o-o-o-

James' dad was a genius, and Sirius wanted to kiss him. The gloves had been the best idea ever. Remus was eating in the Great Hall with them again, and he was back to being relaxed and happy around them, though Sirius could swear Remus was watching him a lot. He kept catching him looking at him. Did Remus suspect that he knew? Should he say something? Reassure him? He had no idea. The last thing he wanted to do was scare him off again.

The week went by fast. On Wednesday, they started working on a new charm with a lot of potential; Locomotor. While similar to wingardium leviosa, the object would only float a few inches high, and it had a longer casting range. As far as the other side of the Great Hall, James had pointed out with a wink. Sirius had grinned. There were a few Slytherins that needed to be punished. They had come across them picking on a first-year a few days previously but had been unable to intervene at the time as they were under the cloak.

Wednesday afternoon, they had earned themselves detention using locomotor to tip over four pitchers of pumpkin juice on four particular Slytherin laps. It was completely worth it, and they took the punishment dished out by Minnie with good grace. Polishing the trophies in the trophy room was kind of fun, anyway. A great way to use up some of his excess energy, while also admiring his reflection in the shiny surfaces.

They all worked hard in Transfiguration on Thursday. The lessons had moved on to turning water into ice, and they all agreed it would be useful for the Christmas feast event. They hadn't discussed what they were going to do yet, but ice and Christmas seemed like they went together almost as well as Marauders and mischief.

On Thursday afternoon, they had their first attempt at making a hiccoughing solution in Potions. Only Peter was successful, though James and Sirius both earned As. Remus earned a T when his cauldron started emitting a high-pitched whine before the potion inside vanished with a bang and a puff of smoke. While Slughorn was distracted, Peter swiftly filled a few vials from his own cauldron and slipped them into his bag. They would undoubtedly come in useful at some point.

By Friday evening, the sky had filled with ominous dark clouds, and the air hung heavy with the smell of rain. Sirius was nervous. It would be his first storm at Hogwarts, and he really didn't like storms. They bought memories he didn't want to think about. He was going to embarrass himself; he knew it.

When lightning lit up the dorm for the first time, he managed to stifle his yelp, and he was pretty sure the thunder that rumbled a minute later was loud enough to cover his whimper, but that wouldn't last. He knew from experience that by the time the storm had passed, he'd be a blubbering mess. Hiding was his only option. He couldn't let his friends see him in that state. It was humiliating.

Sirius got up to go to the bathroom, planning to hide out in a shower cubicle until it was over. He could say he was having a very long shower if anyone asked. Halfway across the floor to the bathroom, though, another flash of lightning struck, and the thunder was close on its tail. He jumped about a foot in the air and squealed.

James glanced up from the letter he was writing. 'You alright, mate?'

'Yeah, just made me jump,' he said, and to his great embarrassment, his voice came out shaky.

James frowned at him. 'You're paler than Remus. Are you scared of storms?'

'No!' Sirius said, a little too fast and a little too loud.

James held up his hands in surrender. 'Alright, no need to get defensive. I was just going to offer to sleep with you if you needed company.'

Sirius hesitated. 'You'd do that?'

'Course,' James said with a shrug like it was no big deal. 'We're the Marauders, right? You need help, I'm here.'

Sirius tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to having people who cared so much about him that they'd share his bed during a storm just so he wouldn't be scared. 'Okay, I admit it. I'm a total baby, and I'm terrified of storms. And I'd really like to sleep with you if that's okay?'

James didn't say a word, just pulled back his covers and patted the spot on the mattress next to him. Sirius bounded over and climbed in, pulling the covers up to his neck and lying down.

James put his parchment and quill away and scooted down in the bed, putting his arm around Sirius. 'You're not a baby. You just have really shitty parents,' he whispered.

When the next flash of lightning lit up the room, Sirius flinched, and he jumped when the thunderclap followed. James squeezed him tighter, and he managed to relax.

'It's okay. I've got you,' James said, and Sirius closed his eyes, feeling safer than he ever had in his life.

When he woke at six, the thunderstorm had ceased but the rain was still pelting down in sheets, and he wondered if the Quidditch match would be cancelled. Sirius untangled himself from James—who was wrapped around him like an extra blanket—and showered, before returning to his own bed for his early morning journaling session.

About half an hour later, he heard Remus moving around, but he still hadn't emerged after ten minutes and Sirius got curious. He tiptoed over to his bed and peeked around the edge of the curtains. Remus was sat up with his legs crossed and his eyes closed. Despite being sat up, he appeared deeply asleep. Is that what meditating looked like?

He remembered Remus' promise a few weeks previous to teach him and eyed the rain out of the window again. If the match wasn't cancelled, today would be the perfect day for it. James and Peter would be gone for a while, and he was fairly certain Remus wouldn't want to attend.

As it happened, the match wasn't cancelled, and Remus was enthusiastic about teaching him. So, after breakfast, they bid goodbye to James and Peter and laughed as they watched them dash out into the pouring rain, becoming instantly soaked, before they returned to the dorm.

Remus used the charm they'd used in the Great Hall to create tinkling background music and then told him to sit down on the floor with his legs crossed and close his eyes.

'Are you comfortable?' Remus asked.

Sirius shifted about a bit until he was. 'Yes.'

'You need to quiet your mind, let all your thoughts go until you have a blank space.'

Sirius cracked an eye open to look at Remus. 'Is that even possible?'

Remus opened his own eyes and frowned at him. 'If it wasn't possible, I wouldn't ask you to do it, would I? Close your eyes.'

Sirius smirked. 'Sorry, sir,' he said and closed his eyes again.

'Focus on the music, and the sound of the rain. And your own breathing,' Remus said.

Sirius did so, listening to the patter of the rain hitting the window and the melody of the music. He focused on his breathing, keeping it calm and even.

Remus spoke quietly. 'Now think of a place where you feel safe and build it in your mind. Piece by piece.'

Sirius instantly thought of Hogwarts. The dorm room he shared with his friends, the common room and its roaring fire. The Great Hall and the Black Lake. He built each part of the castle meticulously in his mind, including all the secret passages, alcoves and rooms they had found. He took extra care with the dorm room, making sure everything was exactly right.

'What now?' he asked into the quiet of the room.

'Have you finished?' Remus asked.

'Yes.'

'Okay, now. This part can be painful. I want you to think of a bad memory. It doesn't have to be your worst, just bad. And I want you to find an appropriate room to store it in. Put it inside and lock the door.'

It wasn't difficult for Sirius to come up with a bad memory. He had so many to choose from. Deciding on one of the many times he was locked in the cellar at home without food, he asked, 'How do I put it in?'

'Imagine yourself there in your safe place, and imagine the memory has a physical form. Pick it up and place it inside.'

Sirius pictured himself inside his mental Hogwarts, and he appeared there. Tall, long black hair, aristocratic features, every part of him exactly as he was in reality. The sensation was strange. He could still feel his physical body, sitting cross-legged on the floor, but he could feel his mental body too, trailing his fingers across the stone wall.

'I'm here, I can feel the walls and the floor. It's weird,' Sirius said.

'Yes, it can be strange at first. You'll get used to it,' Remus said, his voice quiet and soothing.

'Can I make the memory look like anything?' Sirius asked.

'Yes, anything that makes sense to you.'

Sirius thought about it. The memory was desolate, and painful with the gnawing hunger. Lonely. Cold and damp. He pictured one of the bricks that made up the walls of the cellar. Grey stone with damp trails caused by the moisture in the room it was from. It appeared on the floor in front of his mental body, and he picked it up. He was instantly drawn into the memory. Feeling everything. He gasped.

Remus' voice echoed from the cellar walls. 'Sirius? It's okay, fight through it. Put it inside the room.'

Right. He wasn't locked in the cellar. It was just a memory. He was in his dorm with Remus. Safe. He clawed his way out and back to his safe place. Back to Hogwarts. He was standing outside the blank stretch of wall that hid the Slytherin common room. What better place to put all his unpleasant memories?

He didn't need a password here. It all belonged to him, and the wall opened at his mental command. He walked inside. Looking around, he wondered where to store the memory. Somewhere it wouldn't look too out of place. He glanced at the fireplace. Well, he was in control here; he thought. Concentrating, he vanished one of the bricks surrounding the fireplace and pushed the memory stone into the space left behind before stepping back to inspect the result. It looked good. There was a faint difference in the colour of the stone, but it was only noticeable if you were looking for it. He wasn't sure why he wanted to hide his memories, disguise them, but it felt like the thing to do. Reaching out, he brushed his fingers against the cellar stone and was pulled back into the memory briefly. As soon as his fingers left contact, the memory stopped. He had complete control over it.

'I'm finished,' he said.

'Okay. I think we'll stop here for today. Exit your safe place and lock the doors behind you. Then focus on your physical body and come back to it.'

Sirius followed Remus' instructions and strolled out to the Hogwarts grounds, locking the front doors behind him before realising the grounds were a part of his safe place. He needed to leave Hogwarts entirely. He finally reached the gates and locked them, before focusing on his physical body. The feel of the carpet beneath him, the solidness of the ground. The sound of the music and the rain in his ears. He opened his eyes and Remus was smiling at him.

'You did really well.'

'Did I? I only dealt with one memory.'

'That's more than I managed my first time,' Remus said with a shrug.

'Can't I do a few more?'

'It's been three hours, and I heard a particularly loud cheer a few minutes ago. I think James and Peter will be back soon.'

Sirius was shocked. 'Three hours?'

Remus nodded. 'Didn't feel like that long for you, right?'

'Nothing like it,' Sirius said, shaking his head.

'That's something you need to be careful of. Time can pass quickly when you're meditating.'

'I see that,' Sirius said. 'You said this was a muggle thing, though. That didn't feel very muggle.'

'Yeah,' Remus said, frowning. 'I thought the same. I learnt about it from a muggle book, but I think it might work differently for wizards.'

Sirius nodded. 'Probably.'

James and Peter returned a few minutes later. Hufflepuff had beaten Ravenclaw by 200 points, meaning Gryffindor would need to beat Hufflepuff by at least 150 to stay in the running. James was adamant the team could do it, and Sirius believed him. If there was one thing James knew about, it was Quidditch.

Three days later, on Tuesday afternoon, James called a Marauders meeting, and they all gathered in the dorm room.

'I've called you all here today to discuss our plans for the Christmas feast,' James said, standing on his bed. 'The school will be expecting something spectacular from the Marauders, and we can't disappoint them. So, ideas?'

'Aren't you the Chief Imaginator? Sirius asked. 'Ideas are supposed to be your job.'

James jumped down from the bed. 'I'm glad you said that,' he said, putting his arm around Sirius' shoulders. 'I think we should turn the feast into a party. Music, a dance floor, the works.'

'I like it,' Remus said, nodding. 'We should wait until the feast is over though.'

'See, that's what I thought too,' James said. 'But how can we time that? We don't know what time it will end.'

'Some kind of trigger word, maybe?' Remus said, frowning. 'I'll look into it.'

'Brilliant.' James turned to Sirius. 'I need you to design some ice sculptures.'

Sirius grinned, his mind immediately brimming with ideas. 'I can do that.'

'Nothing rude, Sirius,' Remus said.

Sirius scowled. That was three-quarters of his ideas out right away. 'Spoilsport.'

'What about me?' Peter asked.

'There's nothing for you to do yet, mate. But it's early days. I'm sure something will come up that needs your expertise.'

Peter nodded in understanding.

'What are you doing for Christmas, Remus?' Sirius asked. 'Going home?'

'I was thinking about staying here, actually. I'd like to have access to the library for my homework. But I don't know if my mum will mind. I was planning on writing to her soon.'

Sirius felt a thrill of hope. If Remus stayed, maybe he could bring up the werewolf thing somehow. James and Peter were both going home, so it would just be the two of them. It might be the perfect time.

-o-o-o-o-

_**Extract from The Official Marauders' Notebook** _

_Notes passed between James, Sirius and Peter. Later removed and burned._

**Monday, 8th of November**

Have you noticed Remus has been really quiet since the Quidditch match? I think he's really freaked out about what happened - Sirius

I was thinking the same thing. We need to do something to help - James

Like what? - Sirius

I'm not sure. It seemed like he was most worried about his skin being touched, right? - James

Yeah. That's what he asked me - Sirius

So… Gloves? - James

He doesn't like attention, though. If he's wearing gloves all the time, people will stare - Sirius

I'll ask my dad. He might know something that could help - James

**Wednesday, 9th of November**

My dad wrote back this morning. He says there are gloves made from kelpie skin; they change to look like your hands, and they're 15 galleons. There's also a matching hood for another 20. I can cover 25 galleons. Can you and Pete make up the rest? - James

I have eight galleons left of my allowance this month - Sirius

I have two galleons, but that's all my money - Peter

So? - Sirius

So nothing. If it will help Remus, then he can have it, I was just saying. I'll have nothing left for sweets - Peter

I'll buy you sweets, Pete. I'll get more money next week - James

Thanks, James - Peter

**Thursday, 11th of November**

I sent Dad the money. He's going to buy them straight away. We should have them by Saturday morning - James

Thank Merlin. Remus looks miserable - Sirius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Hi, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I just wanted to make clear that I do not advocate locking bad memories away inside your head, that is not a healthy way to deal with trauma and Sirius will be revisiting those memories to deal with them properly at a later date, this is just the first step. 
> 
> Also, my beta has gone back to work now, so updates will probably slow down a bit :(


	24. Chapter 23

Thursday, 2nd December 1971

Remus made it through the next week by trying not to think about Sirius' potential infection, but when the day of the next full moon arrived, he became hyper-focused on him. And not just because he smelled so damn good. Also, why _did_ he smell so damn good? Everyone's scents were stronger to him around the full moon, but no one else's held so much allure.

He watched Sirius closely through Transfiguration in the morning. He seemed to have no trouble focusing on changing his ice into water and back again. Sirius' movements were as fluid and elegant as always, and he didn't seem to be in any pain. They were all positive signs, but he was still worried.

The full moon was a long one that month, nineteen whole hours as a wolf, beginning at ten past three in the afternoon. He would need to be at the hospital wing just after two, which meant leaving Potions only half an hour into the double period. There really wasn't any point in going, but he wanted to see if Sirius had any trouble with the smells in the room. He regretted the decision immediately; Sirius seemed as oblivious as ever of the putrid odours in the dungeon classroom, but Remus was not. They were sickening.

He only lasted fifteen minutes before he raised his hand and asked Slughorn if he could be excused to the Hospital wing.

'I'll take him,' Sirius volunteered.

Great. That was just what he needed. Alone time with Sirius' ridiculously tempting scent.

'Thank you, Mister Black. Put your cauldron under stasis and be sure to return quickly.'

'Yes, sir.' Sirius cast the stasis charm on his cauldron and turned to face him. 'Come on, mate. Let's get you to Pomfrey. You look terrible.' Remus moved to pick his bag up from the floor, but Sirius beat him to it, saying, 'Here, let me carry that.'

He wasn't too comfortable having Sirius carry his bag in case he noticed it was bulkier than it should have been with the change of clothes he'd packed in preparation. But Sirius showed no sign he'd noticed anything odd about it.

As they climbed the stairs to the third floor, he kept glancing at Sirius, still looking for symptoms. He couldn't decide whether or not to warn someone of the potential danger.

'Have I got something on my face?' Sirius asked. 'You keep looking at me.'

'Oh, um. No. You just don't look too good either. Do you feel okay?' Remus said, fishing.

'I feel fine,' Sirius said, giving him a funny look. 'You're the one who's ill.'

Okay, so he was probably fine. He hadn't touched him at the Quidditch match. Everything was okay. But did you even get symptoms before the first change? His memory of that time was so fuzzy, he couldn't remember. All he could recall was horrible fear. And wanting a hug.

They reached the Hospital Wing, and Sirius said goodbye before returning to class, taking his comforting scent with him. Remus went inside.

'Afternoon, Mister Lupin,' Pomfrey said, bustling over to him. She already had her cloak on, ready to leave. 'How are you feeling?'

'No worse than normal,' he said.

She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. 'Let's hope this month is a little easier on you. Are you ready?'

He nodded. 'Yes, ma'am.'

She cast the disillusionment charm on him and led him out to the grounds. It was much colder than the previous month, and the grass was crunchy underfoot. He loved crunchy grass, but he found it hard to enjoy the sensation with the level of anxiety he was under. The time to mention his concerns was rapidly running out.

'Professor Flitwick tells me you're competent with colloportus now. Do you feel comfortable locking yourself in, or would you still like me to do it?' Madam Pomfrey asked when they reached the Whomping Willow.

'I can do it. You don't need to come,' he said. It was now or never. She was turning around, but the words were caught in his throat.

'I'll see you in the morning then. Good luck, Remus.'

She was leaving; it was too late. If Sirius was infected, there would be bloodshed tonight.

Remus woke after the transformation to the sight of dusk through the hospital room window. Had he been unconscious all day? There was no one in sight outside; the grounds were eerily deserted. Was that because it was so cold, or because half the school was dead? Surely if Sirius had turned and gone on a rampage, he'd still be in the Hogsmeade house, though. Madam Pomfrey would be far too busy to worry about him. Unless they wanted to make sure he didn't escape because they were organising his execution for infecting someone and causing the deaths of hundreds of children.

Oh, Gods. He was going to be sick.

Remus bent over the edge of the bed and vomited all over the floor. Madam Pomfrey rushed in from the office.

'Oh, you poor dear. Let's get you cleaned up,' she said, waving her wand to scourgify the mess he'd made.

'There now. All better. Lay back down, that's it.'

She certainly wasn't acting like she'd cleaned up a massacre the night before, or that she blamed him for the deaths. But that didn't mean anything. Madam Pomfrey was a professional. She'd treat even a mass-murderer with compassion.

'Did anything happen last night?' he asked.

'You tore yourself up pretty badly again,' she said with a frown. 'I wonder if it's because the moon is in the sky for longer during the winter?' She looked him up and down. 'How are you feeling now?'

'Sore. The usual,' he said.

Madam Pomfrey frowned at him again. 'That doesn't help me, Mister Lupin. I don't know what "the usual" is. Please describe your symptoms and do not downplay them or I can't treat you properly.'

'Yes ma'am,' he said, ducking his head. 'I'm sorry. My bones are aching, my joints are sore when I move. My stomach hurts quite a lot, I'm guessing I ripped it open again?' She nodded in confirmation. 'And my right arm feels like a wolf gnawed it off during the night. Which is probably fairly accurate?'

'You came pretty close. I'd say you transformed back just in time,' she said, looking grim.

Merlin, he'd nearly lost his hand before, but his whole arm? Would she even be able to reattach it? Would it transform back or stay a wolf? He shuddered. This month was the longest moon of the year, though. Hopefully, next month wouldn't be as bad. Most importantly, Madam Pomfrey hadn't said anything about a rampaging beast in the halls last night.

He couldn't be sure everything was fine until he saw Sirius for himself, though. Maybe he'd transformed in the dorm, and James had managed to magically lock the door before he died. That would be just like James, to sacrifice himself saving everyone else. The teachers might not even know anything was wrong yet.

'Can I go soon?' he asked, not holding out much hope but having to try.

'Not until that wound on your stomach is healed. It's Friday evening, you're not missing anything.'

How long ago did she leave school? Friday night was when everything interesting happened. But that's not why he wanted to leave. He needed to make sure his friends were okay. Madam Pomfrey's expression was uncompromising, though. Arguing with her would be pointless. Might as well get something else done that he'd been meaning to do while he was stuck there.

'Can I have my bag? I want to write to my mum.'

She handed him the bag. 'Don't overdo it. If you feel tired, sleep. Understand?'

He nodded. 'Yes. ma'am.'

Madam Pomfrey left and he pulled parchment and a quill from his bag. He had no idea how he was going to word this. His mum would be upset no matter what he said. She adored Christmas, and he knew she was missing him. But his fear of spending the next full moon, eighteen and a half hours as a wolf, in the hole in the garden was stronger than his sympathy for his mum. He had to put himself first in this. He wrote several drafts of the letter before he was satisfied that it said what he wanted in the nicest possible way. He hoped she wouldn't be too upset.

_Dear Mum,_

_Everything is good here. I'm doing well in all my lessons, even Potions. I think I managed to find the best friends in the whole world. They're really kind, and they do everything they can to make me feel comfortable._

_I wanted to ask if you would mind very much if I didn't come home for the Christmas holidays? The reason is that my health problem has been quite bad recently. Please don't worry, Madam Pomfrey is very good at her job, which is why I'd like to stay. As much as I miss you and want to see you, I anticipate that I may need her expertise during the holiday._

_Please let me know as soon as possible._

_Lots of love,_

_Remus_

He rolled up the finished letter and put it in his bag. He wouldn't send it until he knew for sure that Sirius and the others were okay. It would be awful for his mum if she received that after he was executed. On that happy thought, he lay down. The sooner he went to sleep, the sooner it would be morning and he would know. One way or another.

He awoke well before dawn and waited impatiently for Madam Pomfrey to arrive and assess him. She finally turned up at seven o'clock.

'I'm all better. Can I go now?' he asked the second she walked through the door.

She smiled. 'Eager to start your weekend, are you? Let me check you over first.' She waved her wand, and he waited, fidgeting with his bedsheets, while she looked over the results.

'Yes, everything looks good. You may go,' she said. He swung his legs out of the bed. 'But,' she continued, 'take it easy for a day or two, I don't want you overdoing it. Your body goes through a dreadful ordeal every month. Be kind to it.'

Like she needed to tell him what his body went through. He was there. 'Yes, ma'am,' he said.

'Good boy. See you next month, Mister Lupin.' With that, she swept out of the room, leaving him to get dressed in private. He hurried to put his clothes on, grabbed his bag and rushed to the main doors of the wing, giving Madam Pomfrey a wave on the way out.

Now that he was finally on his way to find out for sure, he was terrified. What if he pushed the door open to find Sirius weeping over the corpses of their friends? Would Sirius attack him when he realised he was the cause, or just ignore him entirely? Which would hurt more?

The questions ran through his mind on an infinite loop, and by the time he reached the door to his dorm room, he had worked himself up to breaking point. His hand was shaking as he reached for the doorknob. He turned it and pushed the door open.

And blinked.

Sirius was leaning on the windowsill with his back to the door, looking out the window, his hair flowing loose down his back. James was lying on his bed flicking through a book and Peter was sitting on the floor playing some game with a pack of exploding snap cards. Everything was normal.

Sirius turned from the window and looked him up and down. 'Alright, mate. You're looking better.'

He had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept well for a couple of days, but he was smiling.

'I feel better. Thanks.' Remus put his bag down and joined Peter on the floor. 'Can I play?'

'Sure,' Peter said and gathered up the cards to start dealing. James and Sirius came over and sat down too. Remus smiled. His heart-rate was gradually returning to normal. There had been nothing to worry about. Sirius was still very much whole and human.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius didn't know how many more months he could carry on like this, knowing Remus' secret but not being able to be with him after the full moon to see if he was okay. He'd barely slept the two nights Remus was away. This month had been admittedly easier than last month, simply because James and Peter were both concerned too. But it was still hard. They didn't know how serious Remus' condition was; they just thought he was sick, not tearing himself to shreds in some unknown location.

He felt utterly wretched for thinking about his own suffering when Remus had it so much worse, but he couldn't help it. It was just so fucking hard. The not knowing. The waiting for news. He considered telling James and Peter so they could at least suffer with him, but that would be a betrayal. Remus had the right to choose who to share his secrets with. He wouldn't take that away from him. He'd already lost too much.

It was almost impossible to concentrate on his lessons on Friday. He'd ended up turning his ice into powdered snow instead of water in Transfiguration—he still wasn't sure how that had happened—and he'd killed all his plantain seedlings in Herbology by over-watering them, earning him his first T grade. None of that mattered though, as long as Remus came back alive.

And he did.

Remus returned on Saturday morning, and he was so relieved, but he thought he'd done well at playing it cool. He knew it was the longest full moon of the year. If Remus survived this one, then he should be okay for the rest. Right? Gods, he wished there was someone he could ask. He wasn't sure how he was going to cope if Remus went home for the holiday. The full moon was the night before they returned. Would he even be well enough to travel on the train? Or would he have to come back to school late, leaving him to wonder if he was coming back at all? That would be a nightmare.

He did his best to keep everything calm and quiet on Saturday, knowing Remus would still be recovering. Whenever James suggested doing something that required a little more energy, like working on their Christmas feast plans, he claimed to be too tired or not in the mood so Remus wouldn't have to make excuses or be forced into doing something too strenuous. He still looked very tired, and there was a permanent crease in his forehead that deepened a little whenever he moved. Was he in pain still? If only he could ask him.

By Sunday, James had had enough of the excuses and insisted on working on their plans. They spent an hour transfiguring the floor of their dorm into different materials to see which would be best for dancing on. Sirius and James performed elaborate dances to test them out. As heirs of their houses, they'd both been forced to learn ballroom dancing at an early age, and he enjoyed hearing Remus' laughter at their antics. He really needed to laugh more, in his opinion.

When that task was complete, James ticked it off of the list before glancing up from the red notebook. 'Remus, have you made any progress finding a way to time the magic for the end of the feast?'

Remus nodded. 'Yes. I've altered the timing charm we used before to be activated by a phrase of our choosing, but we need someone to say the words. Obviously, it can't be one of us because that would give away our identity.'

Peter frowned. 'We could ask Dumbledore? He seemed to enjoy the Halloween entertainment; he might go along with it.'

James grinned. 'You know? I think he might. He's a good sort, Dumbledore. We could leave a note on the table in front of his seat.'

They all agreed this was the best idea. The back-up plan was to pay a random student to shout it out, but they hoped that wouldn't be necessary.

They spent the rest of the day going over his ice sculpture designs and practising making their choices using delayed transfiguration. Though they weren't entirely sure how they were going to get the bowls of water into the Hall. They couldn't be set up in advance, people would notice them.

'The house-elves?' Remus suggested.

James frowned. 'Can they hear what's happening in the Hall? So they know when to send them up?'

Remus shrugged. 'They must be able to. Remember, on the first day, Dumbledore said "let the feast begin" and the food appeared.'

James nodded. 'Yes. That's true. Unless they had it timed to the second.'

Sirius stood up. 'Only one way to find out. To the kitchens!' He pointed dramatically at the door and marched out.

They talked with the house-elves, and they were more than happy to help as long as everyone got to eat first. After explaining what they had planned, the elves clapped their hands, delighted with the idea, and offered to provide refreshments and rearrange the house tables at the appropriate time. The Marauders were glad of the offer because the tables were huge, and they weren't sure any of them were strong enough to move them without draining their cores and putting themselves in a coma.

They left the house-elves with a diagram of the Great Hall showing how they wanted everything positioned and told them they would return the day before the feast to set-up the magic on the bowls.

For the next week, they spent all their free time planning and practising. He learnt more from planning mischief than he did in any of his classes. Even Peter made a lot of progress under the calm tutelage of Remus and with the encouragement of his friends by his side. It was good to see both of them growing in confidence. Peter was beginning to believe in himself a little more, and Remus was acting more relaxed around them again. Almost back to how he was before the Quidditch match disaster.

On the morning of Saturday the 11th, he received a letter from his mother that threatened to ruin his week-long good mood. If you could even call it a letter. It was barely a note.

_Dear Mister Sirius Black,_

_The family has decided that your presence at our Christmas celebration is unwanted. You will remain at school for the Holidays._

_Walburga Black_

Sirius stared at the note for a moment before screwing it up in his fist. "Mister Sirius Black?" They addressed him as if he was a stranger. "The family has decided?" Was he not a part of the family? She didn't even sign it "Mother." He hadn't been planning on going home for the holidays anyway, but to be told in such a cold and unfeeling way that he was unwanted? That hurt.

Remus walked over and sat down next to him on his bed. 'Are you okay?'

He said nothing, just handed Remus the screwed up ball of parchment. Remus smoothed it out and read the few words on the page.

'I'm sorry, Sirius. That must have hurt,' Remus said, his voice quiet. Sirius felt a brief touch on his back and smiled sadly. Remus was making himself uncomfortable to offer him comfort. He wasn't worth it, but it was welcome.

'If it helps, I'm staying for Christmas too. My mum said it was okay.'

That did help. It was the best news he could have hoped for. He looked at Remus and grinned. 'Oh, we are going to have so much fun. We should make some plans.'

Remus smiled. 'What did you have in mind?'

'We could set up back to school surprises in all the common rooms,' he said with a wicked grin.

Remus chuckled. 'We'll have to find Hufflepuff first. We still don't know where it is. But that sounds like an excellent idea.' Then he leaned close to Sirius and whispered, 'How about back to school surprises in James' and Pete's beds too?'

'Remus Lupin,' he said, laughing. 'I think you might be my soul mate.'

Remus blushed Gryffindor red and coughed. 'Yes. Well. We could also go to the beach room so you can paint the sunset while it's quiet,' he said, rapidly changing the subject.

'Great idea,' Sirius said. 'I could paint the sunrise and the cave too. We only have the place until June. We'll want to remember it. It's our first big discovery.'

'You think we'll find more things that good?' Remus asked.

'We found that within, what? Three weeks of being here? I bet we find loads of things in the next seven years. We'll be legendary.' He flopped back on the bed and Remus lay down next to him.

'I'm so glad I found you guys. I can't imagine being here without you,' Sirius said.

Remus was silent for a minute before he said in a quiet voice, 'Me too.'

Sirius frowned. Was Remus still worried about them rejecting him? He grappled for something to say, but nothing came to mind that wouldn't be much too obvious.

Suddenly, James burst into the room with Peter on his heels.

'Where's that itching powder my dad sent?' James asked. 'We've just seen some Slytherins attacking a group of Gryffindors for absolutely no reason.'

'What did you have in mind?' Sirius said, sitting up.

'Sneak into their dorms and put it in their clothes,' James said with a shrug.

Sirius grinned. 'Count me in.'

They went out on their revenge mission at two o'clock in the morning, unfortunately having to leave Remus behind. It took them quite some time to locate the dorms of all the boys James and Peter had seen, and it was almost four by the time they crawled into their own beds with a sense of satisfaction. For the first time in his life, Sirius slept past six o'clock, waking at half-past nine on Sunday with a start. Was his mother finally losing her grip on his mind?

It seemed she was. As the week went on, he found he could sleep as late as he wanted, sometimes only just getting up in time for class after being prodded awake by Peter, jumped on by James, or his personal favourite, coaxed out of unconsciousness by Remus whispering his name. Of course, that might have something to do with the nightly excursions to the Great Hall, but he liked to think it was because he was finally breaking free.

By Friday lunchtime, they only had two things left to do. The Marauders strolled down to the kitchens to set-up the magic in the items the house-elves would be sending up and to finalise the plans. Breen showed them the refreshments they had prepared. Lots of light finger foods, as people would already be full from the meal, and a fruit punch that was delicious. They thanked the house-elves for all of their help and presented them with a painting of the kitchen as a Christmas gift. Sirius had worked hard on it using his birthday gift from James, and it showed the kitchen in full-preparation mode, all the elves were occupied with important tasks and the image seemed to burst with life. The elves adored it. Several of them had to wipe their eyes. Teely, the elf in charge of the kitchen, took the painting and hung it above the main fireplace, before expressing her gratitude on behalf of all the elves.

With that task complete, there was one thing left; they needed to leave the note for Dumbledore. They waited until classes were over for the day, and then Sirius, Remus and Peter created a distraction in the Entrance Hall while James snuck into the Great Hall and left the note at Dumbledore's seat. Sirius, Remus and Peter had points deducted for hexing several Slytherins with mucus ad nauseam, but it didn't matter, James had completed the mission, and that was the important thing.

-o-o-o-o-

_**Extracts from The Official Marauders Notebook** _

**Bully hit list** _(Last page in the notebook)_

Snape - dungbomb cauldron, stinksap shower, mucus ad nauseam x 2, Pumpkin juice in lap, itching powder

Avery - Mucus ad nauseam, Pumpkin juice in lap, itching powder

Mulciber - Mucus ad nauseam, pumpkin juice in lap, itching powder

Crouch - Mucus ad nauseam, pumpkin juice in lap, itching powder

McTavish - Stinkbombed

_**Notes passed in History - Wednesday 8th December** _

Honestly, why don't they replace this guy? - Sirius

Maybe he won't leave? - James

They could at least get a new teacher and let Binns lecture to an empty classroom. It's not like he notices we're even here - Sirius

Yeah, but if they did that, we wouldn't be able to nap through History - James

That is a good point. - Sirius

_At this point, Peter waved, and Sirius passed him the notebook_

I tried to talk to Remus, but he shushed me. He's writing so many notes. I don't know how he does it. Do you want to play burn the witch? - Peter

Sure - Sirius & James

_This was followed by several games of burn the witch (basically the same as hangman, but with a witch.) Sirius won three games, James two and Peter one._

_**Notes passed between Remus and Sirius in Transfiguration, Monday 13th December. Removed before the book was returned to James.** _

Will you help me get James back for that frog he put in my sock drawer? - Sirius

Do you even have to ask? What did you have in mind? - Remus

Delayed Transfiguration on his drawers, so everything he puts in them for the next three days turns pink, but make it happen when he'll be in class. - Sirius

Consider it done - Remus

I adore you - Sirius

Aren't you going to say you adore me too? - Sirius

I think your head is already big enough - Remus

You wound me - Sirius

_**Notes passed between James and Sirius in Potions, Thursday 16th December** _

I don't suppose you know why my robes just turned pink? - James

Don't have a clue, mate. But you look very dashing - Sirius

I think you know exactly why, and that's why you can't stop giggling - James

Maybe you should ask Remus, he's the expert at delayed transfiguration - Sirius

Don't you blame this on Remus, he wouldn't do this to me - James

Sorry, you got sent out of class, James - Sirius

EVERYTHING I OWN IS PINK!

You forgot to sign your name - Sirius


	25. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta edited this for me and then I read it through and decided it wasn't good enough. I've since made a lot of changes and added an extra 300 words. So any mistakes you find are totally my fault and nothing to do with my beta, who is utterly amazing.

Friday, 17th December 1971, 6:00 pm

Two hours after James left the note for Dumbledore, Remus and the other Marauders took their seats in the Great Hall. James was still pouting about his pink robes, but the anticipation of the event to come seemed to take the edge off his bad mood. Though, he kept scowling at Sirius, which was entertaining. James refused to believe that Remus had anything to do with it.

The noise level was deafening, the students were in high spirits with the end of term and the excitement of presents to come, but it had been two weeks since the full moon, so his ears weren’t as sensitive as they had been at Halloween. He might actually be able to enjoy himself. Hagrid had outdone himself with the decorations. Twelve enormous Christmas trees adorned the Great Hall—thankfully there was still plenty of room for their ice sculptures—and mistletoe and holly were spread throughout the castle. Professor Flitwick had enchanted the suits of armour to sing Christmas carols. James and Sirius had asked him if he could work out how to change the words, but he hadn’t tried very hard at that assignment before informing them he couldn’t do it. He’d been concerned about what words they might choose instead.

When Dumbledore entered and took his seat, they all watched him closely. He raised an eyebrow when he spotted the note, and they saw him pick it up and open it. A few moments passed as he read before he smiled and glanced out at the students, giving a very tiny nod. 

He would do it.

As the Feast wore on his friends became more and more jittery. By the time dessert appeared, they were balls of nervous energy.

‘Will you three calm down, you’re going to give us away,’ Remus whispered, leaning across the table.

‘What if we messed something up?’ Peter said.

Remus shook his head. ‘We didn’t. Everything will go according to plan. You know how much we practised. Stop worrying.’

When everyone was finished with dessert and the tables were cleaned of dishes, Dumbledore stood up and cleared his throat. Throughout the hall, heads turned to look at him and silence fell.

‘Now that we are all fed and watered, I have a few end-of-term notices. The train will leave Hogsmeade station at eleven o’clock. Everyone who is going home for the holidays, and those that wish to see them off, must be ready in the Entrance Hall at ten. The return train will leave Kings Cross at eleven o’clock on Saturday, the first.’ He paused and picked up the Marauders note from the table. ‘I have also received a mysterious note. It’s from the people who call themselves the Hogwarts Marauders—-’

Dumbledore was interrupted by cheering, foot-stamping and hooting. He calmly waited for the students to settle down before he continued.

‘I will read it to you: Dear Professor Dumbledore. We have prepared an evening of revelry as a Christmas gift to the school. We did not wish to interrupt the delicious feast, so lovingly crafted by our beloved house-elves, and so we ask if you would kindly begin the evening’s festivities at the appropriate time. Before you say the phrase at the bottom of this note, please ask all the students to gather in the middle of the room. We assure you that we have accounted for every safety precaution.' Professor Dumbledore looked up from the note. 'And then they've signed it, lots of love and a Happy Christmas from The Hogwarts Marauders. Isn’t that sweet?'

The hall erupted with laughter.

James looked at him and Sirius, aghast. ‘We didn’t write “lots of love,” did we?’

‘No,’ Sirius said, laughing. ‘He’s trying to embarrass us.’

Remus chuckled. ‘Sneaky. He’ll have to try harder than that to figure out who we are.’

‘So, if you could all follow the instructions and gather in the middle of the room,’ Dumbledore said when the noise had died down.

When everyone was in position, Dumbledore clapped his hands together and said in a booming voice, ‘Let’s get this party started, my dudes!’

The Marauders—along with most of the students—burst out laughing. They had only written, “let’s get this party started.” Dumbledore was such a good sport.

The first thing to happen was three enormous bowls of water and four crystal balls appearing on each of the House tables. The students all glanced at each other, confused. The bowls, ever so slowly, floated into the air and to the edges of the room, landing gently and not spilling a single drop of water. The crystal balls soared up high until they were near the ceiling. They began to spin fast and coloured lights blazed to life inside them, sending moving, multi-coloured rays spinning and darting around the room. 

Next, the water in the bowls rose into the air, twisting itself into different shapes as it changed colour, and hardened to ice. There were three crimson and gold lions, three blue and bronze eagles, three yellow and black badgers and three green and silver snakes, all in different poses. With their burdens lifted, the House tables moved themselves to the edges of the room. Once in place, they filled with an array of finger foods and large bowls of fruit punch. 

The floor changed, beginning in the corners of the room and sweeping towards the centre to meet in the middle, under the feet of the watching students. The bare stone became a shining wooden dance floor.

As warm, dry, enchanted snow started falling from the ceiling—appearing multi-coloured as the individual flakes were caught in the strobe lights from the spinning crystal balls—loud, thrumming music echoed from the surrounding walls. 

Everyone waited a moment to make sure the changes were finished, before breaking out in a round of applause and spreading out to explore.

Remus looked around. Everyone was smiling, some were already dancing to the music, others were admiring the ice sculptures. Still more were helping themselves to fruit punch. The teachers were milling about, keeping an eye on everyone. Dumbledore had sat back down in his throne chair. When Remus met his eye, he beckoned.

He walked over, a little nervous to speak to the headmaster.

‘Mister Lupin. It’s good to see you joining us in the Great Hall for meals. Have you overcome your fear?’

Remus shook his head. ‘No, sir, but I have very good friends who help me.’

‘That’s wonderful news,’ Dumbledore said with a smile. ‘Friends are what make life worth living, I find.’

‘Yes, sir,’ Remus said.

Professor Dumbledore raised an eyebrow and gave him a meaningful look. ‘Have you told them?’

Remus’ eyebrows shot up as his eyes widened. ‘No! Of course not.’ 

‘Don’t be so quick to judge your friends unworthy of your trust, Mister Lupin. Mister Potter comes from quite a liberal family. He may surprise you. And Mister Black, well, he does not, but he seems determined to be the complete opposite of his ancestors.’

Remus frowned. ‘But, you said I mustn’t tell.’

Dumbledore inclined his head. ‘I did. But if the time comes when you feel your friends can be trusted, then it is not up to me to stop you. It’s your secret to keep or to share, not mine. However, I do ask that you let me know in advance. It may be necessary for me to… Intervene.’ 

Remus nodded. ‘Yes, sir,’ he said. Though he had no intention of telling his friends anything. It just wasn’t worth the risk.

‘The reason I called you over here, though,’—Professor Dumbledore leant forward and spoke quietly—‘was that I was hoping you would give me the incantation for this rather delightful snow. I want to make it a permanent part of the Christmas decorations.’

‘Sir?’ Remus asked, hoping he could bluff his way out.

‘Oh, don’t look so worried, Mister Lupin. Yes, I know you and your friends are the Marauders. You’ll find very little gets past me. No, I won’t tell anyone as long as you continue to be responsible with your mischief. I quite enjoy your displays. They show a lot of skill for ones so young.’

Remus didn’t know what to say. It was so unexpected. ‘Thank you, sir?’ he said at last, but it came out sounding like a question. 

‘You can thank me by giving me the spell,’ Dumbledore said with a wink, his eyes twinkling.

Remus gave him the incantation for the spell and returned to his friends to tell them what happened, minus the part about his lycanthropy. They moved to a secluded corner of the Hall to speak privately. 

‘So, he knows, but he’s okay with it? We’re not in trouble, and we don’t have to stop?’ James asked. 

‘Basically. Yes,’ Remus said.

James grinned. ‘Brilliant.’

‘What are you four doing whispering behind the Christmas tree?’ Lily asked, appearing before them as if she’d learnt to apparate. ‘I hope you’re not planning to ruin this dance The Marauders organised. Why can’t you be more like them? They don’t hurt people.’

James opened his mouth, but Sirius jumped in front of him and Peter grabbed the back of James’ robes and tugged him away.

‘Hello, Evans, we were just discussing the best way to get a Christmas gift to Snivellus. You wouldn’t know his address, would you? We bought him a bottle of shampoo that’s designed for extra-greasy hair.’

‘Oh, you are horrid.’ She turned away but glanced back over her shoulder at James. ‘Nice robes, Potter,’ she said sarcastically, looking him up and down. ‘They suit you.’ She tossed her hair over her shoulder before disappearing into the throng of dancing students.

‘What did you do that for?’ James asked after she left.

‘You were about to tell her,’ Sirius said.

James crossed his arms. ‘Do you have no faith in me?’

Sirius shook his head with a smirk. ‘Not when it comes to Evans, no.’

James scowled at him and then glanced down at his robes. ‘Do these robes really suit me?’ 

‘No, mate. She was taking the piss,’ Sirius said, laughing. 

James turned to Remus. ‘What do you think?’

James really could be dense at times. Did he really not recognise sarcasm? ‘She was making fun of you.’

‘Are you sure?’ 

‘Yes!’ all three of them said at the same time.

‘Alright, no need to shout,’ James said.

-o-o-o-o-

The next morning, the dorm was a wasteland of clothes as James and Peter frantically packed for the Christmas holiday, having left the job until the very last minute. Sirius lounged on his bed, feeling quite smug as he watched them race around the room, searching for their belongings. He glanced over at Remus, who was lying on his own bed reading a book and ignoring the commotion in the room entirely. Sirius envied him that ability.

‘Sirius! Have you seen my robes? You know, the ones with the nice stitching?’ James asked, searching through the mess of clothes on the floor.

‘Nope,’ Sirius said.

‘We really need to get you two some muggle clothes,’ Remus said without looking up from his book.

James looked up and frowned. ‘Why? What’s wrong with robes?’

Remus lowered his book and eyed James. ‘Nothing is  _ wrong _ with them. Muggle clothes just have so much more variety.’ 

James’ eyebrows knit together for a moment before his expression brightened. ‘We can go shopping in the summer when you guys come to my house,’ he said. ‘You and Peter can teach me and Sirius how to dress like muggles.’

Sirius pictured his mother’s face if she saw him dressed like a muggle. She’d be furious. ‘I’m in,’ he said, grinning.

Once James and Peter had finished packing, Sirius and Remus helped them carry their trunks down to the Entrance Hall and waited for the teachers to arrive. It was crowded. Around three-quarters of the school seemed to be going home, which was perfect for their plans. The quieter the castle was, the easier it would be to sneak around.

The Heads of Houses arrived to escort the students to Hogsmeade station, and there was a lot of noise and commotion as they all boarded the carriages, which were being pulled by the creepiest-looking horses he had ever seen in his life. They were skeletal and had soulless white eyes that seemed to look right through him. 

‘What the hell are they?’ Sirius asked with a shudder.

James frowned at him. ‘Carriages…’

‘No, the things pulling the carriages.’

‘There’s nothing pulling them, Sirius. Are you feeling okay?’ James looked at him with concern.

James couldn’t see them? He looked at Remus, but he just shrugged. Could nobody else see them? What if he was going mad? Was this the start of the famous Black insanity? Sirius decided just to ignore the things for now and worry about it later.

‘Yeah, must have been a trick of the light or something. It’s gone now,’ he said. 

They boarded a carriage and trundled down to Hogsmeade station. Sirius hugged James and Peter goodbye, and Remus just waved. They both promised to uphold the good name of the Marauders over the holidays and waved the train off as it left.

Remus waited until they were once again alone in the carriage before he broached the subject. Sirius was grateful for that, but he wished he wouldn’t ask at all.

‘What’s pulling the carriages?’

Sirius refused to meet Remus’ eyes. ‘I told you, it was nothing. I was seeing things.’

Remus sat forward in his seat. ‘Don’t give me that rubbish. What’s pulling the carriages, and why can’t the rest of us see them?’

He looked eager and excited, like they had discovered some great mystery that needed solving. Remus was such a nerd.

‘You believe there’s something pulling them then?’

Remus shrugged. ‘Of course. If you say you see something, I believe you.’

Sirius got a funny feeling in his chest, which he chose to ignore.

‘So what do they look like?’ Remus asked.

‘Like horses with wings, but skeletal. And they have big white eyes.’ Sirius shuddered again when he remembered the eyes. 

‘Interesting.’ Remus sat back in his seat and rubbed his chin. ‘I’ll have to do some research, see if I can find anything about them. I wonder why you can see them and the rest of us can’t.’

Sirius sat up straight. ‘Oh no, you don’t. You’re not spending all holiday in the library. We have plans.’

Remus waved his hand. ‘I’ll just check out some books and read them while you’re painting. Or did you think I was just going to sit there and admire you?’

Sirius laughed. ‘Well, obviously. I’m so pretty,’ he said, tossing his head to flip his hair around. ‘Why wouldn’t you want to sit and admire me for hours on end?’

Remus chuckled. ‘Oh, I don’t know. Boredom?’

‘Boredom? How could you be bored with me around?’ 

He never got to hear Remus’ response because at that moment the carriage rattled to a stop outside Hogwarts. The Christmas holiday had officially begun.

Remus immediately disappeared off to the library to look for books about selectively invisible magical horses but promised he wouldn’t be long. So he headed to the common room to wait for him and take advantage of the lack of students by grabbing the best seat in the room. Right in front of the fire. He sat down at one end of the squishy crimson sofa and swung his legs up, lying back with his head on the arm.

Sirius was looking forward to having some decent time alone with Remus to properly get to know him. He had been such an important fixture in his mind for most of his life, and he more than lived up to expectations. Remus was brilliant, kind, brave and strong. Maybe in a different way to how he’d imagined, but that was irrelevant. The lycanthropy didn’t matter to him. What mattered was how Remus handled it. And he handled it with a quiet strength that left him in awe. He only wished he could do more to help.

When Remus returned from the library carrying a great stack of thick, heavy books which Sirius hastened to assist him with, they decided to go out in search of the Hufflepuff common room. James had left the invisibility cloak for them to use and they took it with them in case they found something. They had noticed the Hufflepuffs heading for the dungeons at the end of the day, so they wandered down to the lower levels.

They searched for two hours with no luck before stopping by the kitchen for a bite to eat. The house-elves were happy to see them and plied them with sandwiches and cake until they could eat no more. They thanked the elves and left, continuing their search for a couple more hours before deciding to call it a day. They returned to Gryffindor tower disheartened but not defeated. They were sure they would find it soon. 

After dinner, Sirius collected his art set from the dorm and Remus grabbed his books before they walked the short distance to the beach-room and settled down on the sand. He set up his easel and removed one of the tiny enchanted canvases from the packet. Holding his palm out flat with the canvas in the middle, he tapped it with his wand and watched as it expanded to full-size, before placing it on the easel, ready to begin.

Sirius worked steadily for an hour, transferring the scene before him to the canvas. He used his motion paint to bring the gently lapping waves to life and the colour changing paints to match the ever-changing colours of the sunset. He was just putting the finishing touches on the likeness of Remus—sitting on the sand with a pile of books beside him, his back to the viewer, his head bent over a thick volume, ignoring the beauty of the sight before him—when Remus glanced up.

‘I think I’ve found something.’

‘One minute, I just need to…’ Sirius said, the tip of his tongue poking out from between his lips as he concentrated on getting the curls of Remus’ tawny hair just right. ‘There.’ He stood back and admired the effect. It was magnificent, even if he said so himself.

Remus stood and brushed the sand off his ass. ‘Is it finished? Can I see?’ 

Sirius nodded, and Remus walked over and gasped.

‘It’s beautiful,’ he said, before cocking his head to the side. ‘Did you have to put me in it, though?’

‘Yes,’ he said with a firm nod. ‘Yes, I did. You make the picture complete.’ He turned to face Remus. ‘I want to do one with each of us. And then one with all four of us together.’ 

‘That’s a nice idea,’ Remus said.

He grinned. ‘Anyway, what did you find?’

Remus opened the book he was holding and showed him a sketch of the skeletal horses he’d seen pulling the carriages that morning.

‘That’s it,’ Sirius said, staring at the page. ‘That’s what I saw. So I’m not crazy then?’ 

Remus sat down on the sand, and he sat down next to him.

‘No, you’re not crazy,’ Remus said. ‘They’re called thestrals, and they can only be seen by those that have seen death and accepted it.’

He frowned. ‘What does that mean?’ 

‘Basically, it means you have to have seen someone die, have been deeply affected by the death and then come to terms with it.’

‘I don’t remember seeing anyone die,’ he said. 

Remus stared out at the ocean for a few moments, apparently thinking. ‘It could have been an animal,’ he said eventually. ‘One that you really loved?’

‘Snuffles,’ he whispered, staring at his hands. 

Remus turned to look at him. ‘Pardon?’ 

Oh, gods, that story would really bring down the mood. Best to say it as simply as possible. ‘I used to have a dog, Snuffles. My mother killed him to punish me. I watched him die.’

Remus covered his mouth with his hands. ‘Merlin, Sirius. That’s horrible. I’m so sorry,’ he said. He lowered his hands. ‘I wish I’d been there to help you.’

Sirius smiled sadly at him. ‘You were there. In my head, kicking the bitch in the shin. You did help.’

Remus nodded. ‘I’m glad,’ he said.

They sat in silence for a while, staring out at the waves breaking on the shore. He had no idea how long it had been when Remus checked his watch and jumped to his feet. ‘We better go, it’s almost curfew.’

They gathered everything up and returned to the dorm. Sirius hung his painting on the wall between his and Remus’s beds and stood back to admire it.

‘It looks fantastic,’ Remus said, coming to stand beside him.

‘Thanks.’ Sirius grinned at Remus before walking to his bed and lying down with his arms behind his head. 

Remus followed him. ‘Scoot over.’

Sirius shuffled over to make room, and Remus laid down next to him on his side.

They were quiet for a minute before Remus broke the silence. ‘It sounds like you had a pretty shitty childhood.’

Sirius snorted. ‘That’s an understatement.’

‘I can relate,’ Remus said. ‘I didn’t have that great a time before coming to Hogwarts either.’

Sirius turned onto his side to face him. Was he going to tell him? ‘No? How come?’

‘I don’t think it was as bad as yours. I at least have my mum, and I know she loves me. But I’m pretty sure my dad hates me. He never speaks to me unless I ask him a question, and then he answers with as few words as possible.’

‘I know how that feels,’ Sirius said. 

‘I never went anywhere either. I didn’t know anyone except my family. You guys are my first friends. That’s probably why I’m a little weird.’

‘You’re mine too. Except for Reggie. And you’re not weird. You’re perfect.’

Remus reddened and ducked his head, much to Sirius’ satisfaction. It was getting harder to make him blush. Remus was getting used to him.

Remus was quiet for a minute. ‘I’m not perfect. But it’s nice that you think so.’

He was thinking about his lycanthropy again, Sirius was sure of it. Maybe a little nudge…

‘What’s wrong with you then?’

Remus rolled onto his back and stared up at the canopy. He could almost see him thinking, and he held his breath. Not even daring to hope.

‘I can’t tell you,’ Remus said after a few minutes had passed in silence.

‘You don’t trust me enough,’ Sirius said quietly. Remus opened his mouth, but he didn’t give him the chance to argue. ‘It’s fine. I get it. We’ve not been friends for long.’ He paused. ‘But I want you to know that, whatever it is, nothing could be bad enough to make me stop being your friend.’

Remus turned back onto his side and searched his face. Sirius did his best to look as sincere as possible.

‘You really believe that, don’t you?’ Remus asked, sounding surprised.

‘Right down to my soul,’ he said, placing a hand on his heart. Please tell me, please tell me, please tell me he chanted mentally, begging with his eyes. 

Remus rolled back onto his back. ‘Maybe I’ll tell you one day,’ he said, at last, his voice quiet. Then he added in an even quieter voice as if speaking to himself, ‘Maybe you’ll even be right.’

He tried not to be too disappointed. But if Remus didn’t tell him soon, he might get fed up with waiting.

It took them another two days of searching before they found the Hufflepuff’s common room, under a pile of barrels in a shadowy recess near the kitchens. They were first suspicious when he tapped one of the barrels with his wand as they passed by and got soaked with a shower of vinegar. After both of them had received multiple vinegar showers courtesy of the barrels, they decided to lurk there under the cloak and wait to see if anyone turned up.

They were waiting for nearly an hour and on the verge of giving up when a third-year Hufflepuff arrived and tapped one of the barrels in a distinct pattern: tap, tap, rat-a-tap. Sirius and Remus grinned at each other in triumph. They crept away to return later that night, while everyone was sleeping.

-o-o-o-o-

**_Letters sent during the first week of the Christmas holidays_ **

**Saturday, 18th December**

Sirius and Remus,

I hope you’re having fun at Hogwarts. I asked Mum about having you all over in the summer and she said yes!!!! We need to pick a date; I was thinking around half-way through the holiday? I asked about the shopping trip too, and she said she would drop us in Diagon Alley and we could explore muggle London!!!! I’m so excited!!!! You can probably tell. 

It’s nice to be home, but I miss you guys. Write back and tell me all your news!

James

**Saturday, 18th December**

Peter,

I hope you’re having fun at home. I asked Mum about having you all over in the summer and she said yes!!!! We need to pick a date; I was thinking around half-way through the holiday? I asked about the shopping trip too, and she said she would drop us in Diagon Alley and we could explore muggle London!!!! I’m so excited!!!! You can probably tell.

It’s nice to be home, but I miss you guys. Write back and tell me all your news!

James

**Sunday, 19th December**

James,

Not much news here yet. I painted a picture of the sunset for the dorm. It has Remus in it being a nerd—

I wasn’t being a nerd!

Sorry, Remus snatched the quill. As I was saying, it has Remus in it being a nerd, and I want to do four more. One with each of us, and one with all four of us. Remus is trying to grab the quill ag—

Hi, James, I wasn’t being a nerd; I was reading because watching Sirius paint is bor—-

Watching me paint is not BORING! I’m excited your mum said yes about the sleepover and the shopping trip. I can’t wait to get some proper muggle clothes. Mother will have a fit.

Write again soon!

Sirius and Remus

**Sunday, 19th December**

To James, Sirius and Remus,

I’m just going to duplicate this, so I addressed it to all of you. I got home yesterday, and I’m already bored. Mum is making me help her clean the whole house to get ready for our relatives coming for Christmas. They’re all muggles, so I can’t talk about magic at all. I don’t know what I’m going to say if they ask me about school. 

My mum said I can come for the sleepover as long as it’s not the day of my birthday. She wants me home for that.

Wish me luck with the muggle relatives,

Peter

**Monday, 20th December**

Peter,

That sucks! I can’t imagine not being able to talk about magic. That must be so hard. I’m wishing you lots and lots of luck. I’m getting pretty bored too. I never realised before how quiet my house is. I don’t have anything else interesting to say, so I’m going to sign off now.

From one bored guy to another,

James

**Monday, 20th December**

To The Marauders Chief Potioneer,

We found it! We found the Hufflepuff common room! Mission back-to-school-surprise begins tonight.

The Marauders Chief Artist and Chief Researcher & Safety Monitor

**Monday, 20th December**

To The Marauders Chief Imaginator,

We found it! We found the Hufflepuff common room! Mission-back-to-school-surprise begins tonight!

From,

The Marauders Chief Artist and Chief Researcher & Safety Monitor

**Monday, 20th December**

To James,

Remus and I have been very busy. We got soaked in vinegar, and we can’t get rid of the smell no matter how hard we try. My hair is ruined! We’ve had two snowball fights, and I’ve painted another picture of the beach, the sunrise this time. Remus has been studying, he won’t stop no matter how many times I tell him it’s the holidays.

Missing you,

Sirius

Hi James,

I haven’t been studying that much, only a little. Sirius forgot to tell you I won both of the snowball fights. He’s insanely protective of his hair, and it puts him at a disadvantage. His paintings are lovely though. The new one has Sirius in it, staring out at the sea. It’s very good.

Can’t wait for you to come back and take this maniac off my hands.

Remus

**Wednesday 22nd December**

Sirius and Remus,

Sorry I couldn’t write back yesterday. My parents threw a party, and I had to be present. I’m sure you know how that is, Sirius. I can’t believe you found it! No. That’s wrong, I can believe it because you’re both amazing. How is the mission going? 

ITS NEARLY CHRISTMAS!

That is all,

James

P.S. How did you get soaked in vinegar?

**Wednesday, 22nd December**

Peter,

Haven’t heard back from you. Hope you haven’t died from too much cleaning.

James

**Thursday, 23rd December**

James,

The mission is going well. We will complete the last phase tonight. You have my deepest sympathies on the parental party nightmare. I’m glad to hear you survived the ordeal. The vinegar soaking was related to the very secret discovery. We’ll tell you all about it when you get back.

IT’S EVEN MORE NEARLY CHRISTMAS.

Sirius

Hi James,

Sirius is driving me crazy. Come back soon.

That is all,

Remus


	26. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so excited about this chapter, let me know what you think :)

Monday, 20th December 1971

Remus spent the last few days leading up to Christmas with Sirius having snowball fights in the grounds, exploring the castle, lazing about in the common room or their dorm and sneaking out at night to set-up the back to school surprises in the common rooms of all four houses.

They'd decided to tackle Hufflepuff first and arrived outside the barrel entrance at two o'clock in the morning. Remus reached out with his wand and, mimicking the boy from the previous afternoon, tapped the barrel. Tap tap rat-a-tap. The barrel opened, revealing an earthy passage that sloped gently upwards. He glanced at Sirius, who shrugged at him before leading the way inside.

He crept down the passage behind Sirius, and after a few seconds, it opened out into a bright, low-ceilinged and circular room filled with plant life.

'This is cosy,' Sirius whispered, looking around. 'I think this is my second favourite common-room. Gryffindor is first, obviously.'

Remus was forced to agree. The room was decorated in yellow and black, with highly polished, honey-coloured furniture, and the doors to the dormitories were whimsically round. It was warm and inviting. He would enjoy spending time there, especially with all the plants.

'This bit of wall looks good. Get ready to cover me if you hear anyone coming.'

He nodded and Sirius set to work painting a large mural of a badger wearing a Hufflepuff tie and hat and holding a quill in a meadow of wildflowers. The project took a full two hours, and he was beginning to get nervous that people might start getting up when Sirius finally stepped back to admire the finished work.

'Magnifique,' Sirius said, dramatically kissing his fingers.

'It's perfect,' he whispered. 'Now get out the way so I can hide it.'

Sirius stepped back, and Remus waved his wand in a complex motion of swirls. ' _Statuto tempus cabaturium_ ,' he muttered. The mural vanished. It would reveal itself at half-past four on the first of January, just when everyone would be returning from the holidays.

They had one more thing to do before they left. Using the flagrate charm, Remus wrote a message on the wall next to where the mural lay hidden before casting the concealment charm again to hide it from view.

_We're the Marauders of Hogwarts_

_you thought we didn't care_

_but we broke in to show you otherwise_

_with just a touch of flair._

The following night they hit Ravenclaw tower. He easily solved the riddle on the door to gain entry, and Sirius painted a mural of an eagle soaring through a library wearing a Ravenclaw tie and hat. Remus wrote his message to Ravenclaw house and then hid both mural and message for later.

_We're the Marauders of Hogwarts_

_and we're just as smart as you_

_we broke in here to prove it_

_and we left you with a view._

On Wednesday night, they were feeling a little tired, so decided to do their own house. Sirius painted his mural of a regal lion wearing a Gryffindor tie and hat, with a green and silver snake under its paw, and Remus once again added their note and hid both for later.

_We're the Marauders of Hogwarts_

_and we broke in here to say_

_that Gryffindors are great_

_in every single way._

They didn't technically break-in to Gryffindor tower, but saying they did meant anyone from different houses who compared, still wouldn't know which house they were in. Although the "Gryffindors are great" part did give the game away a little.

Slytherin was last, and they tackled them on Thursday night. Sirius had resolutely refused to paint a mural, even a mean one. So, instead, they set delayed transfiguration on the entire room to make everything inside turn a violent shade of pink at the allotted time. Remus wrote out the poem he'd written for the Slytherins before Sirius added an extra line at the bottom with a snigger.

_We're the marauders of Hogwarts_

_you thought we wouldn't dare_

_but we broke through your defences_

_to redecorate your lair._

_Suck it, Snape._

'Sirius!' Remus whisper-shouted.

'What?' Sirius asked, holding his hands up in defence. 'He might suspect us, but no one will believe him. He'll just make himself look crazy.'

Sirius made a good point. No one would believe first years had pulled off the Halloween and Christmas displays. 'Alright, we'll leave it.' He cast the concealment charm, and they snuck back to Gryffindor Tower to get some much-needed sleep.

-o-o-o-o-

When Sirius woke up on Christmas day, it was still dark outside the window and Remus was sleeping peacefully. Perfect. He needed to sneak down to the owlery and wait for a special delivery.

He slipped out of bed, grabbed the clothes he'd put ready the night before and padded to the bathroom to dress. When he was ready, he snuck out of the dorm, shutting the door quietly behind him, and ran down the stairs to the portrait hole.

It took him ten minutes to reach the ground floor and another ten to get to the owlery. Once there, he rubbed his arms against the cold and paced impatiently, waiting for the owl to arrive with Remus' Christmas present. Twenty minutes later, a large brown barn owl swept through the window carrying a box with holes in the top. He paid the owl and carried the box carefully back to the dormitory, before tucking it under his bed. Hopefully, it would stay quiet until he was ready to give it to him.

Sirius glanced at Remus' sleeping figure under the covers. It was seven o'clock. Why was he still sleeping at seven o'clock on Christmas day? He tiptoed over to the bed, leant over Remus and—

'Arghh!' Remus yelled.

Sirius yelped and jumped backwards, almost falling over, and Remus cracked up laughing.

'Merlin, your face!' Remus said in between giggles.

'You scared the crap out of me.' He clutched his hand to his chest above his heart, which was racing. 'Nice one! How long were you awake?'

'Since before you came in the room. Where did you go?' Remus asked, sitting up in bed.

Sirius scratched the back of his head. He was caught. There was no point lying about it. 'I went to receive a delivery. It's your Christmas present, actually.'

'Oh. Okay, did you want to do presents now? Or wait until after breakfast?'

He gaped at Remus. 'Wait until after breakfast? Are you mad? Presents!'

'Well, that's what I was hoping you'd say, but it's polite to ask,' Remus said, smiling.

'Shall we open the ones from James and Peter first?' Sirius asked, grabbing a small square package and a long oblong one from the small pile at the end of his bed.

Remus crawled to the end of his bed and found two similar packages in his own pile. 'Sure. Your bed or mine?'

He walked over to him. 'I'm already up so let's sit on your bed.'

They ripped the paper off of the small square boxes from Peter at the same time, and they each had a mega-box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. Sirius immediately ripped his open and started examining a small white one.

'What do you reckon? Vanilla?'

Remus peered at it. 'Could be.'

He popped it in his mouth, chewed it with a grimace, swallowed, and said, 'I think it was toilet paper.'

Remus shook his head, chuckling, and picked up the parcel from James. 'Ready?'

They ripped the paper off of James' presents and each pulled out a fancy red dragon skin wand-holster with gold detailing. There was a note inside the parcel that read: _A Marauder should always have easy access to their wand._

'Wow, this is amazing,' Sirius said, putting it on and placing his wand in it. He practised drawing his wand at speed. The action was smooth and clean, so much easier than fumbling to grab it from a pocket. 'Try yours.'

'I'll try it out once I'm dressed,' Remus said with a chuckle.

'Spoilsport,' he said, pouting at him, but he sat back down on the bed. 'Okay, you open mine now.' He handed Remus a small wrapped box and watched closely, eager to see his reaction.

Remus took the present, looked at it, glanced at Sirius' bed, shrugged and pulled the paper off. Inside was a silver pendant strung on a black leather cord. The pendant was shaped like a shield with a stylised M in relief on its face. Surrounding the M were four symbols; a paintbrush and a broomstick crossed behind the M, and a book and a cauldron sat in front of it on either side.

Remus examined it thoroughly before looking up at him. 'Did you make this?'

He shrugged. 'I drew it and sent the design to a jeweller. I bought one for each of us. It's the Marauder's crest.' Reaching into the neck of his robes, he pulled out his own identical silver pendant.

'It's brilliant. Thank you,' Remus said. He put the pendant on and looked at it again with the corners of his mouth twitching up in a suppressed smile before tucking it inside his pyjama top and handing Sirius his present.

Sirius took the package, wishing he knew what Remus was thinking, and tore the paper off. The glass ball inside fell into his hand and he stared at it. It was the perfect size to fit comfortably in his hand, and the glass was smooth and crystal clear. He glanced up at Remus. 'What is it?'

'I call it a snitch-o-scope. I transfigured the balls from the sand in the beach room and added charms to detect people nearby. Anyone that isn't the four of us.'

'What does it do if it detects someone?' he asked, giving the ball an experimental shake. Nothing happened.

'It glows red if it's an adult, or orange if they're underage.'

Sirius felt his mouth stretch in a grin. Knowing if anyone was nearby would make sneaking around so much easier. 'This is brilliant. You always give the best presents. Thank you.'

Remus smiled and a faint blush bloomed on his cheeks. 'You're welcome.'

Okay. It was time for Remus' other present. 'I got you something else too.'

'What, why?' Remus asked, frowning at him and causing a crease to appear between his eyebrows. Sirius had the insane urge to reach out and smooth it, which he heroically resisted with great effort on his part. 'I thought of it after you told me about how alone you are at home.' That was an outright lie; he'd thought about it when he read the werewolf books, but Remus didn't need to know that.

'Okay?' Remus said.

Sirius jumped up and fetched the box from under his bed, handing it to Remus before sitting back down on the bed to watch his reaction.

Remus eyed the holes in the top of the box nervously and glanced back up. 'Is there something alive in there?'

He grinned and nodded. 'It won't hurt you. I wouldn't give you a dangerous Christmas present.'

Remus raised an eyebrow. 'I wouldn't put it past you.'

Sirius barked out a laugh, and a tiny whimper came from inside the box. 'Oops, I think I scared it.' He waved his hands in a hurry-up motion. 'Open it.'

Remus pulled back the flaps on the box and peeked inside. 'Awww.' He reached in and lifted out a tiny jet-black kitten. It was mewling softly. Remus settled the kitten in his lap and scratched its ears.

'You bought me a kitten?'

He shrugged. 'Yeah. I thought it could keep you company. You know, at home?' And on the full moons, he finished in his head.

Remus picked the kitten up and looked at its belly. 'Thank you, Sirius. I love her.'

'What are you going to call her?'

Remus frowned. 'I'm not sure. I'll have to think about it.' He paused. 'I hope she gets on okay with Rieka.'

He hadn't thought about that, cats and birds weren't traditionally friends. 'I'm sure it'll be fine.' He hoped it would be fine. If the cat ate the owl, he wasn't sure Remus would forgive him.

They finished opening the rest of their presents. Remus had a new book series from his mum, and Sirius got a fancy set of quills from his Uncle Alphard and a letter he would read later. Once Remus had dressed and put on his new wand holster, they went down to breakfast.

-o-o-o-o-

Christmas breakfast at Hogwarts was a feast. Every single type of breakfast food you could think of was made available. Remus couldn't help but wonder what they did with the leftovers. The amount of food in this one meal would probably feed his family for two years.

They left the hall with full bellies. His new kitten had been alone in the dorm for a long time, and he may have been walking a little faster than he normally would.

'Would you slow down a bit?' Sirius asked from a few steps behind. 'I ate far too much, and I can't move that fast right now.'

'I'm worried about the kitten. She's been all alone up there for ages. What if she's scared?'

Sirius chuckled. 'It's a cat, Remus. She's probably curled up on your bed fast asleep.'

Sirius was proven right when they arrived at the dorm. The kitten was indeed, curled up in a black fluffy ball fast asleep. But there was something else on the bed next to her. A tightly rolled scroll, sealed with red wax.

'What's that? Has someone been in here?' Sirius asked.

Remus sighed. 'I know as much as you do, Sirius.'

Sirius glanced at him. 'Should we open it?'

'That's what you would usually do with mail, yes?'

'There's no need to be a smart arse. There's a mysterious letter on your bed, and you're acting like this is an everyday occurrence for you. Is this an everyday occurrence for you?'

He rolled his eyes. 'No, Sirius. I can't say I've ever received a mysterious letter before. But if we don't look at it, it'll remain mysterious forever.'

They stared at each other for a moment longer, before Sirius snorted and bounded over to the bed, grabbing the scroll. He broke the seal and unrolled it. 'It's addressed to The Marauders.'

'Who's it from?' he asked, joining Sirius by the bed and trying to see over his shoulder. An almost impossible feat as Sirius was a full head taller than him. 'Dumbledore?'

'No. It says it's from the Hogwarts Chiefs of Raucous Revelry,' Sirius said.

'Really? What does it say?'

Sirius handed him the scroll. 'Read it.'

_The Hogwarts Marauders,_

_We have been watching you since you arrived at school and have been most impressed with your penchant for mischief and your ability to maintain a secret identity. Your large-scale events at the Halloween and Christmas feasts were remarkable, and your discovery of the beach room showed great promise for your future as mischief-makers._

_We have enjoyed six and a half wonderful years in charge of entertainment here at Hogwarts, but alas, it will soon be time for us to leave these hallowed halls and join the world. And so we must pass our legacy on to the next generation._

_Yes, you have guessed correctly. We have chosen the four of you to continue in our footsteps, bringing joy and wonder to the students of Hogwarts. But first, you must prove yourselves worthy. We have devised an elaborate challenge to test your determination, perseverance, skill and daring. You have until the 16th of June to complete the task and earn your reward: our legacy._

_On the sixth floor, there is a door that cannot be opened. Behind that door is a flag. When you retrieve the flag, you will attach it to the top of the astronomy tower. This will be the signal to us that you have completed the task._

_The only way to gain access to the room is by drinking a potion called Spectral Essence._

_We will provide one small piece of assistance in this task. The word "Dissendium" is of great importance on the third floor._

_Merry Christmas and good luck._

_Yours in mutual mischief,_

_The Hogwarts Chiefs of Raucous Revelry._

He looked up from the scroll and stared at Sirius, feeling a little dumbstruck.

Sirius just nodded. 'I know.'

'James is going to be unbearable when he reads this.'

Sirius nodded again. 'I know.'

'He's going to hound us non-stop until we've completed the challenge.'

Sirius nodded a third time. 'I know. Stop pointing out the obvious.'

'Right.' He sat down on the bed and picked up the kitten, placing her in his lap where she nuzzled his fingers. 'We could hide it, and never ever tell him?' he asked hopefully.

'If he found out, he'd never speak to us again.'

He slumped. 'That's true. We're going to have to do it, aren't we?'

'Don't you want to?' Sirius asked, sitting down next to him.

He grinned. 'Of course! I just don't want to put up with James' ego about it.'

'I know, but we can just tell him to shut up if it gets too much.' Sirius took the scroll and looked at it again. 'Do you want to investigate the third floor?'

'I think James will be mad if we start without him.'

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Yeah, you're probably right. Think we should tell him about it in a letter? We can be really cryptic, and he won't be able to stop thinking about it for the rest of the holiday.'

'Drive him crazy before he drives us crazy?' he asked with a chuckle. 'I think that's the best idea you've ever had.'

They spent the rest of the day in their dorm writing to James and Peter to thank them for their presents and tell them cryptically about the letter, playing with his kitten which he named Cosmo, and setting up a back to school surprise in James' and Peter's beds, a task which included a lot of giggling.

The feast mid-afternoon was every bit as spectacular as breakfast had been. The house-elves really went all out at Christmas, and the wizarding crackers were a good laugh. Sirius got a pirate hat which Remus thought suited him, and he got a muggle top-hat in a vivid shade of purple which Sirius forced him to wear for the rest of the day.

The next three days of the holiday passed much like the first half, but with less excitement. They explored the castle some more. Having finished with the seventh floor, they had moved on to the sixth but had yet to find a door that wouldn't open. They tested out Sirius' snitch-o-scope, and it worked beautifully, silently alerting them to any human presence within twenty feet of their location. By Wednesday, though, he was beginning to feel the effects of the moon and wanted to slow down. He'd expected some resistance from Sirius to the idea of staying in the common room, but he seemed oddly understanding of his desire for rest, and they sat by the fire together with Cosmo curled up between them and did nothing much at all. It was nice.

'Hey,' Sirius said, breaking the companionable silence. 'Do you remember that lesson on boggarts? You weren't talking to us at the time.'

He shuddered. How could he forget? The sight of his mum's bloodied corpse had haunted his dreams for weeks. 'Yes.'

'During that class, James said, after we graduate, he wants us all to move in together. Would you be up for that?'

He glanced at Sirius. 'Are you sure I was included? Like you said, we weren't friends then.'

Sirius nodded. 'Yes, he specifically said, "Remus too, if he ever talks to us again." Say you will, it'll be awesome.'

Remus felt warmth flood his chest. James had included him even though they weren't talking at the time? The warmth soon disappeared though, to be replaced with a heavy weight and an ache in the back of his throat. He doubted they'd want a werewolf living with them, but he couldn't explain that, so he just nodded. 'Sure, sounds great.'

'Excellent,' Sirius said. 'It wouldn't have been the same without you.'

-o-o-o-o-

**Letters sent after Christmas**

**Saturday, 25th December**

To James,

Remus and I thank you for our beautiful wand-holsters. What a perfect present for a team of mischief-makers.

Something very exciting happened today that we think you'll be delighted to hear about. Unfortunately, it is sensitive information, and we can't possibly tell you about it in a letter. So you will have to wait until you return to hear the specifics.

Can't wait to see you,

Sirius, Remus and Cosmo

**Saturday, 25th December**

To Peter,

Sirius and I thank you for the sweets. We're being very careful about which ones we eat, but if I dare Sirius to eat them, he does, and he pulls very amusing faces. It's a lot of fun.

Something very exciting happened today that we think you'll be delighted to hear about. Unfortunately, it is sensitive information, and we can't possibly tell you about it in a letter. So you will have to wait until you return to hear the specifics.

Can't wait to see you,

Sirius, Remus and Cosmo

**Saturday, 25th December**

To Sirius and Remus,

Sirius, I love the pendant. I can't believe I didn't think about us needing an official Marauders crest. I'm going to wear it all the time. Did you get one for everyone?

Remus, I have no idea what this globe thing is, but it keeps lighting up red. Is that bad?

Only a week until I come back!

James

**Saturday, 25th December**

To Sirius and Remus,

Remus, what is this globe? It keeps flashing red and orange, and I'm worried.

Sirius, thank you for my pendant. Did you get one for all of us? I really like it.

Peter

P.S. I can't write anymore. My muggle relatives are getting freaked out by all the owls.

**Saturday, 25th December**

To James,

Thank you for the wand holster. This is the coolest thing I've ever owned. I hope you liked your sweets.

Peter

P.S. I can't write anymore. My muggle relatives are getting freaked out by all the owls.

**Saturday, 25th December**

To Peter,

Thank you for the sweets. I kept all the yucky ones, melted them down and put them in my dad's coffee. It was so funny.

James

**Sunday, 26th December**

To Sirius and Remus,

First, who is Cosmo? Are they a new Marauder? Why was I not consulted?

Second, tell me, tell me, tell me!

James

P.S. You're welcome. I hope you're both wearing them all the time. A Marauder must always be prepared.

**Sunday. 26th December**

To Peter,

You're welcome. I'm glad you like it. I think you know by now how much I "enjoyed" the sweets. Have you heard from Sirius and Remus? Did they tell you about this exciting thing that happened on Christmas day? They won't tell me anything.

Also, do you know who Cosmo is?

James

**Monday, 27th December**

To James,

Cosmo is the newest Marauder. She arrived on Christmas day, and her special talents include dozing in the sun and finger nuzzling. You were not consulted because you were not here.

The globe is my own invention; I call it a snitch-o-scope. It lights up if people are nearby (except for us), red for adults, orange for children.

Remus, Sirius and Cosmo

P.S. We are both wearing our wand holsters at all times except when sleeping.

**Tuesday, 28th December**

To Remus, Sirius and Cosmo (Apparently),

We have Remus for sun dozing, and Sirius for finger nuzzling. Why do we need Cosmo?

I don't believe absence is a good enough reason for not being consulted.

The snitch-o-scope is brilliant! It's going to be so useful.

You still didn't tell me. Is it Cosmo? Is that the exciting thing?

Waiting eagerly,

James

**Wednesday, 29th December**

To James,

I do not finger nuzzle! But you're right about Remus dozing in the sun. Alas, there is not much sun to be had in Hogwarts today, so Remus is dozing on the sofa in the common room in front of the fire instead. Cosmo is curled up with him, and I am all alone but standing guard.

Cosmo is not the exciting thing. We cannot talk about the exciting thing in writing in case these letters are intercepted.

Sirius (and a sleeping Remus & Cosmo)

**Thursday, 30th December**

Sirius and (a hopefully now awake) Remus and Cosmo,

I was very confused by your description of Remus' and Cosmo's sleeping arrangements, but I am now starting to suspect that Cosmo is an animal of some sort.

I'm in two minds about your refusal to tell me by letter about the exciting thing. I like your caution, but I hate that I have to wait.

Only two more days,

James


	27. Chapter 26

Friday, 31st December 1971

When the day of the full moon arrived, Sirius tried his best to be as unobtrusive as possible. Remus was pretty quiet all day, but he seemed to want to be near him, so he stayed close. They spent most of the day reading in front of the fire, and at quarter to two, he saw Remus check his watch out of the corner of his eye before announcing he wasn't feeling well and was going to go to the hospital wing.

Remus declined his offer to go with him, and Sirius waited until he'd grabbed his pre-packed bag—that he'd pretended not to notice him packing—and left through the portrait hole before he dashed up to the dorm to get James' cloak. This was his one chance to find out where Remus went for the full moon. With James and Peter away, there was no one there to question him.

He waited a few minutes before hurrying to the east wing and locating the statue of a dancing child. He patted her on the head, and the statue moved to the side, revealing a slide hidden behind it. Wasting no time, Sirius climbed on and slid down to the ground floor. He got to his feet and hurried to the Entrance Hall. If they didn't leave that way he was screwed, but the only alternative was that Remus was kept somewhere inside the castle, and that seemed far too dangerous to be likely.

He was right. Five minutes later, Madam Pomfrey came down the stairs apparently alone, but as Sirius stared from underneath the cloak, he caught a slight shimmer in the air behind her. A disillusionment charm? He followed Madam Pomfrey and an invisible Remus out of the castle at a distance, being careful to stay downwind of them. He knew werewolf senses were heightened around the full moon, and the last thing he wanted was for Remus to smell him.

She crossed the grounds, heading for the Whomping Willow. The very tree Dumbledore had warned them to stay away from. Sirius snuck around the outskirts of the grounds to get a good vantage point and watched as Pomfrey levitated a stick and prodded at something near the base of the tree, causing it to freeze. Suddenly, Remus appeared next to her. They spoke for a moment before Remus walked closer to the tree and disappeared. What the hell?

Sirius waited ten minutes for Pomfrey to leave and Remus to get a good distance ahead before he walked over to the tree, getting as close as he could without being in danger from the flailing branches. He squinted at the base of the tree. There was an odd-looking knot. Was that it? He cast wingardium leviosa on a stick and poked at the knot with it. The tree froze. Yes! He ran forward, and it wasn't until he was right next to the trunk that he could see the opening Remus had disappeared down. He took a deep breath and descended, hoping there would be more between him and Remus that night than just that passage.

Sirius travelled down the low-ceilinged passageway for ten minutes before reaching a dead end. Above his head was a trapdoor which it was probably best not to open. He checked his watch: quarter to three. Fifteen minutes until moonrise. He sat down and leant back against the earthen wall of the passage to wait.

As Sirius watched the time tick by, his breathing sped up. The closer it got to three o'clock the more anxious he became. Would that trapdoor hold up against the wolf? Would he be able to smell Sirius on the other side?

When it came, it came out of nowhere. One second there was silence, nothing but the sound of his own heartbeat and breathing. The next, an ear-piercing, soul-searing, blood-freezing scream of pure agony. Sirius had thought the sound Remus made at the Quidditch match was bad, but it was nothing compared to this. He couldn't believe a person could make such a sound. That _Remus_ was making such a sound.

He stood and stared up at the trapdoor, helpless. There was nothing he could do. If he opened it, he'd be turned or killed. The noise seemed to go on for hours as Sirius stood there in the underground passage with his hands curled into fists and his muscles taut for a fight, but it could only have been minutes in reality. When the screaming turned to pained howls, he checked his watch. Ten. It took ten minutes of blood-curdling pain for Remus to complete his transformation. How did he endure it month after month?

The howling stopped, and he heard heavy footsteps crossing the floor above him. Sirius held his breath. The wolf stopped; Sirius could hear it panting directly above him. It snuffled against the trapdoor. Could it smell him? The wolf howled again. The sound was mournful this time, sad and full of longing. It made Sirius want to go to him and soothe away the pain. Was the wolf lonely? Was that why he hurt himself? Hurt Remus?

The wolf scratched at the trapdoor, trying to get through. Trying to get to him. Sirius prepared himself to run but held his ground. He trusted that Dumbledore had made sure it was secure. After nearly an hour, the wolf finally let out another howl. This time it rang with despair, and he stopped. There was a loud thump and then silence. It sounded like the wolf had collapsed onto the ground right above where Sirius stood. He relaxed.

He should probably go, but he didn't want to leave Remus. It was stupid. Remus didn't even know he was there, would probably be utterly horrified if he did. But still, he wanted to stay. If he was there, he knew what was happening. The wolf was quiet, and that meant Remus was okay. If he went back to the dorm, he wouldn't know anything. It would be another sleepless full-moon either way. Staying was the better choice.

Sirius sat down on the dry earth of the tunnel floor and leant back against the corner. It was actually fairly comfortable for dirt. He shook out the invisibility cloak and laid it over himself, for warmth as well as to hide, and closed his eyes.

He must have fallen asleep because when he next opened his eyes and checked the time he found it was nearly four in the morning, and he was freezing. He jumped up and started jogging on the spot to try to warm himself up. His body tingled as his heart rate picked up and his blood flowed faster. Falling asleep out there had been a bloody stupid thing to do.

Sirius froze when he heard a movement above him. The wolf was getting up and snuffling at the trapdoor again. Then he heard a long whine.

He hesitated, staring up at the trapdoor. Should he speak? Or stay silent. After a moment, his impulsivity won out. 'Hello, Wolf-Remus,' he said.

The wolf whined again.

'I'm Sirius.'

The wolf barked.

'I came to keep you company,' Sirius said. It was stupid, talking to the wolf-like it could understand him. But if it kept him from hurting himself—from hurting Remus—then he'd talk forever.

'What should I call you?' he asked.

The wolf howled and snuffled at the trapdoor again.

Sirius thought about it. 'Howler?' He shook his head. 'No, that's stupid. What about… Moony?'

The wolf barked again.

'Yeah? You like that? Okay, Moony. It's nice to meet you.'

There was the sound of pacing and then a loud thump. The wolf had settled down again. Sirius prattled on for hours, talking incessantly about anything he could think of. Until the moon set at nine-thirty, releasing Remus from the wolf. Madam Pomfrey would probably be there soon to fetch him; he needed to hide. Covering himself with the cloak, he hunkered back against the wall so she wouldn't brush against him and waited.

She arrived a few minutes later, head bent in the low passage, muttering to herself.

'I hope he's not too bad this month, poor little lad.'

She unlocked the trapdoor with a wave of her wand and pushed it open, before climbing the short distance up the ladder. A few minutes passed before she returned, floating Remus ahead of her on a stretcher.

Sirius had to cover his mouth to stop his gasp. Remus was bone white and his hands were a bloody mess. He followed behind Pomfrey, not worrying about keeping his distance anymore, Remus was unconscious and wouldn't smell him now. Pomfrey cast a disillusionment charm over Remus before they exited the Whomping Willow passage. A fresh covering of snow had fallen during the night, and as they made their way slowly back to the school, Sirius took care to step in the footprints left by Pomfrey in case she turned around. It wouldn't do for her to see two sets of footprints in the snow when there should only be one.

When they reached the Hospital wing, Sirius stayed close behind the medi-witch, not wanting to be kept out by a door closing too swiftly, and he followed her and Remus through her office and into a hidden room behind a bookcase. So that was where they'd been keeping him. Sirius hurried to the far corner to get out of the way. He made a point of closing his eyes when she removed the blanket covering him to examine his injuries. Remus would hate for him to see his scars.

He kept his eyes closed until he heard Pomfrey leave, and then he crouched down next to the bed. Remus was sleeping peacefully. His hands were bandaged and resting on his stomach, and his skin had a little more colour in it. But he looked so tiny in the hospital bed. Sirius dared not speak in case he woke him up. Remus could _not_ find him there. Instead, he just sat next to him on the floor with his back against the wall. And enjoyed the knowledge that he was okay. He would wake up soon and return to the dorm.

Around lunchtime, Remus began to stir, so he said a mental goodbye and snuck out. The ward was empty apart from Pomfrey bustling about changing some bedsheets. So he waited by the doors until she went into her office and then he left, pulling the cloak off and stuffing it into his pocket. He planned to take a long shower and then sleep until Remus returned to the dorm, or James and Peter got back. Whatever happened first.

-o-o-o-o-

Friday, 31st December 1971

Remus checked his watch as surreptitiously as he could. Quarter to two. He had to go; moonrise was at three.

'Sirius, I'm not feeling good. I think I'm going to go to the hospital wing.'

Sirius glanced up from his book. 'You want me to come with you?'

Remus wanted that more than anything. It was going to be tough to wrench himself away from the comfort of Sirius' ludicrously enticing scent. Being immersed in the smell seemed to make his bones ache a little less. But it was better if he got some fresh air before he saw Madam Pomfrey.

'No, thanks, I'll be okay.'

'Alright, I hope you feel better soon.' Sirius returned his attention to his book, so Remus grabbed the bag he'd managed to pack earlier when Sirius was busy with something and hurried out of the common room and down the stairs.

He trudged through the snow after Madam Pomfrey and bade her goodbye at the Whomping Willow. As they were crossing the grounds, he kept thinking he caught Sirius' scent in the air but put it down to the smell being caught in his clothes. They _had_ spent the entire day together as close as possible without actually touching, so it wasn't all that surprising.

He let himself into the little house and locked the trapdoor behind him, checking it twice to make sure it was secure. There were still twenty minutes until moonrise, so he removed his clothes and put them in his bag with his wand. He put the bag behind the wards protecting the fireplace from the wolf and sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the fire to meditate.

Remus was wrenched from his mind by the first jolts of pain through his body, and he screamed. He no longer tried to suppress his reactions to the pain. There was no one around to hear, and it helped to let it out, even if only a little. The transformation was as torturous as always, and his screams rang out into the room for what felt like hours before his mind fled into the darkness.

-o-o-o-o-

The wolf awoke from his sleep and stretched his sore muscles before he got to his feet and looked around. Something was different today. He padded over to the shape on the floor and listened. There was something there. On the other side. Was it a friend? The wolf lowered his head and sniffed at the floor. He couldn't smell anything, but there was definitely something there. It was a feeling, a sensation of comfort and belonging, like Pack. Maybe if he called it would answer? The wolf tipped his head back and howled the call of a wolf that's lost. A wolf looking for his pack.

The other didn't respond. Maybe it was hurt and needed help. The wolf scratched at the shape on the floor, trying to get through. He had tried before and always failed, but he had to try again. If there was Pack on the other side that needed help, he had to try. The wolf scratched at the floor until his paws were ripped to shreds and dripping with blood. It was no use, he couldn't get through. He howled again, this time in apology, letting his pack-mate know he had failed, and then he slumped to the floor, right on top of the shape. As close as he could get to the friend on the other side.

The pack-mate was quiet, but the wolf could still feel their comforting presence. They were still there, on the other side. He lay there for hours. Waiting. And then there was movement below. He got to his feet and sniffed at the shape again. Still no smell. He whined.

Pack-mate answered.

He whined again.

Pack-mate made a noise back.

The wolf barked in excitement and wagged his tail.

Pack-mate made a long series of odd noises.

The wolf sounded his howl of greeting and sniffed around the shape. Why couldn't he smell pack mate?

Pack-mate made more noises on the other side, and the wolf barked again. It wasn't as good as that one day of freedom, but it was better than any other day since. If it was all he could have, he would take it. He paced around in a circle, trying to find a good spot, and lay back down next to the shape as close to his pack-mate as he could get before lowering his head onto his paws.

Pack-mate was making a lot of noise. Long streams of strange sounds with short pauses in between. The wolf closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the first living thing he'd heard in such a long time, feeling content.

-o-o-o-o-

Remus woke up in the little room off the hospital wing, opened his eyes and looked out of the window. The sun was high in the sky. That was a good sign. He took a deep breath to assess the damage to his body. The breath came easily, but with it came something more terrifying than any injury. The scent of wood-smoke, soap and a hint of vanilla.

Sirius.

Had he been in there while Remus was sleeping? What had he seen? Was he still there under the cloak?

'Sirius?' he whispered.

There was no answer. He inhaled through his nose. The scent was faint, as if he'd left some time ago. Maybe it was just residual scent on his belongings from spending so much time with him during the holidays while the school was so empty. Nothing to worry about.

But what if it wasn't?

Madam Pomfrey poked her head around the door a short time later and smiled when she saw he was awake.

'Good afternoon, Mister Lupin. How are you feeling?'

Always the same question. He fought the urge to roll his eyes. 'Not too bad actually.'

'It was a good month. Just your hands were torn up. The wolf seemed to be concentrating on escape. I found you right next to the trapdoor this morning.'

Remus frowned. 'I won't be able to get out, will I?'

'Oh no. The trapdoor has enough protections on it. Not even smells can get through.'

Remus let out a relieved breath before remembering what he'd been worrying about when he first woke up. 'Madam Pomfrey? No one's been in here while I was sleeping, have they?'

She shook her head. 'No, of course not. No one could slip past me.'

That's what she thought, but she didn't know that four first-years had access to an invisibility cloak. It wasn't particularly reassuring, but it was the best he was going to get. 'Okay, I was just checking.'

'As soon as your hands are healed, you can go,' she said. 'I'll just fetch your nutrition potion.'

Remus grinned as she bustled out of the room. He loved that nutrition potion. While he waited for her to return, he grabbed his bag and pulled out his Marauders crest to put it back on. He fingered the silver pendant and struggled to suppress the smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth. It was nice to belong.

It was four in the afternoon before Pomfrey was satisfied that his hands were healed well enough for him to leave, and he hurried up to Gryffindor tower as fast as he could, which wasn't particularly fast. He really wanted to be there when James and Peter got back, and he knew the train would be arriving around four.

Remus burst into the dorm to find James and Peter already there, just taking off their cloaks. It seemed like they'd just arrived themselves.

'And here's Remus. Everyone's back at the same time,' Sirius said, grinning at him. He was holding Cosmo in his arms. 'You feeling better now, mate?'

He was being completely normal, no sign of wariness about him at all. Remus must have been mistaken. There was no way Sirius had seen him in the hospital bed with bandaged hands that morning.

'Hi, Remus. Great to see you,' James said. 'Now for the love of Godric Gryffindor, tell us what the thing is that happened on Christmas day. It's driving me mad.'

Remus met Sirius' eyes, and they both snorted. Their plan to drive James crazy had worked like a charm.

'Hi, Peter, did you have a good holiday?' Remus asked, ignoring James entirely.

'Remus!' James yelled, making him crack up laughing.

'I'm sorry, James. It's just too easy to wind you up. Tell him, Sirius.'

Sirius stepped forward and put his arm around James' shoulders. 'We have been head-hunted by the Hogwarts' Chiefs of Raucous Revelry to inherit their legacy and take over from them when they leave Hogwarts at the end of the year.'

James' eyes went huge. 'What?' he shouted, shoving Sirius' arm off and whirling around to stare at him. 'How? When? Why? What?'

Sirius smirked at Remus. 'I think I broke him.'

'Give him a minute,' Remus said. 'He just needs to process.'

James' mouth gaped like a fish. Several seconds passed with him stood in stunned incomprehension before he finally blinked and looked at Sirius. 'Show me.'

Sirius took the letter from his trunk and handed it to James, who read it in silence before sitting on the end of his bed and reading it again. He then handed it to Peter and looked up.

'I can't believe it,' he said. 'This is like a dream come true.'

'We have to actually complete the challenge first,' Remus said.

James waved his words away like they were a mere trifle. 'Easy-peasy.'

Sirius nodded. 'We're the Marauders. Together we can do anything.'

Remus liked their optimism, but he was dubious.

'Have you done anything yet?' James asked. 'Like looked for this thing on the third floor that's supposed to help?'

Remus shook his head. 'No, we wanted to wait for you two to get back. We're a team.'

James grinned. 'Good, I want us to do this together.'

James and Peter were too tired from travelling to do anything that evening, much to Remus' relief. He was still exhausted from the moon and hadn't been looking forward to trudging the corridors of the third-floor. They stayed in the dorm, exchanging stories about the holidays. James and Peter admired Sirius' paintings, and when they tried to get into bed for the night, they found their blankets refused to budge until they sang "I'm a little teapot," complete with actions. A task James completed with great enthusiasm. Peter was a little less happy about Remus' and Sirius' hysterical laughter.

The next morning, they went downstairs and found a crowd of people around the noticeboard.

'What's going on?' Sirius asked Frank Longbottom as he passed them.

'The Chiefs of Raucous Revelry have organised a sand-war tournament in the beach room you guys found. There's a sign-up sheet on the noticeboard.'

'Awesome!' Sirius said, turning to the others. 'We have to enter.'

James grinned. 'Obviously.'

Remus and Peter both nodded.

They waited for the crowd to clear so they could get to the noticeboard.

_With thanks to four determined and resourceful first-years, the Hogwarts Chiefs of Raucous Revelry are delighted to announce a new event this year._

_**The Hogwarts Sand-Wars House Championship** _

_The tournament will consist of three parts:_

_1\. House Heats: Teams will compete against members of their own house in four-team battles until only two teams remain for each house._

_Scoring system: sudden death. If you lose, you're out._

_The dates for Gryffindor's heats are:_

_Saturday, 15th Jan._

_Saturday, 12th Feb._

_Saturday, 11th March_

_Matches will be held between the hours of 9 am and 4 pm_

_2\. Semi-finals: The final two teams from each House will battle against the teams from all the other Houses until only one team remains for each house._

_Scoring system: points; first team eliminated = 1 point. Last team standing = 4 points._

_The dates for the semi-finals are:_

_Gryffindor vs Slytherin - Saturday 22nd April_

_Hufflepuff vs Ravenclaw - Saturday 29th April_

_Gryffindor vs Hufflepuff - Saturday 6th May_

_Slytherin vs Ravenclaw - Saturday 13th May_

_Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw - Saturday 2oth May_

_Slytherin vs Hufflepuff - Saturday 27th May_

_3\. Final: The four remaining teams will battle in a Grand Final for the honour of the title "Sand-War Champions."_

_Scoring system: Sudden death._

_The final will be held on:_

_Saturday 3rd June_

_All teams must have four members._

_All matches begin at 9 am_

_Scores will be posted every Saturday evening._

_Sign up below to represent Gryffindor_

They signed up under the name Magical Mischief-Makers again. As much as they wanted to sign up as the Marauders, they wanted to keep their identity secret even more. Remus was a little nervous, but he could wear his gloves and hood for the matches so it should be fine. He hoped.

He watched Sirius closely for the next two days as they searched the third floor of the main building and the east-wing, but he didn't appear to be behaving any differently towards him. By Tuesday morning, he was convinced the scent in the hospital wing must have been coming from his belongings. Sirius hadn't seen anything suspicious, he was sure. On Tuesday afternoon, straight after lunch, they hit the third-floor west wing. Their searching consisted of tapping anything and everything with their wands and saying _dissendium_.

It was Remus that found it. Halfway down a corridor, he tapped the top of a statue of Gunhilda of Gorsemoor—a hump-backed, one-eyed witch who was famous for developing the cure for dragon pox—with his wand while muttering the password, and the hump on her back opened wide enough to admit a child, maybe a thin adult.

'Guys, I've found it,' Remus called down the corridor.

The other Marauders converged on him.

'Where do you think it goes?' James asked, peering into the hole.

Remus shrugged. 'How should I know?'

With his usual level of reckless spontaneity, Sirius bounded forward saying, 'One way to find out,' and launched himself headfirst into the hole.

There was a few seconds pause followed by a soft thump before Sirius called up, 'It's okay, come on down.'

'After you,' Remus said, waving James and Peter ahead of him.

James went first, followed by Peter, both of them taking the far more sensible feet-first option. Remus waited and heard the same soft thump.

'Alright, Remus. We've moved out of the way. Get that gorgeous ass of yours down here,' Sirius shouted up from below.

Remus shook his head. Gorgeous indeed, Sirius was such an idiot. He hoisted himself up and entered the hole feet-first, slid down a stone slide and landed next to his friends in a dark and narrow, low-ceilinged earth passageway. It looked a lot like the one under the Whomping Willow, which he found a little unnerving.

He turned his head to look at the steep slope he had slid down. It was a smooth polished stone. 'It's going to be fun trying to get back up there,' he said.

'We'll worry about that later,' James said. 'Come on, get up. Let's see where this leads.'

They all took their wands out and cast Lumos to light up the passage before they started down it. The route twisted and turned for what felt like an hour, gently sloping upwards the entire time.

'This is ridiculous. Are we even still in the school?' Remus asked after a while.

'Wouldn't it be cool if we weren't?' Sirius said.

'Well, that really depends where we end up, doesn't it?' Remus said, raising an eyebrow when Sirius turned to look at him.

'As long as it's not my house, I don't really care,' Sirius said with a shrug.

'I think we're about to find out,' James said, coming to a stop at the bottom of a flight of worn stone steps.

Remus eyed the stairs with horror. He couldn't even see the top. 'Oh gods, are you serious? I'm already knackered.'

'I am Sirius, but I have no idea what that has to do with your energy levels,' Sirius said. 'It wasn't me that wore you out, although I can if you like?' He raised his eyebrows suggestively, and Remus felt his face warming. Damn, he thought he was getting past that. Sirius was upping his game.

'I think I'll pass on that less than tempting offer,' Remus said, trying not to show how flustered he was.

'Alright, you two. Stop flirting,' James said. 'We're on an important mission here.'

The steps went on for ages. He and Peter both sat down in protest after five minutes, forcing the others to stop for a break. Their climb eventually ended in a trapdoor. Remus wasn't overly fond of trapdoors, but he was sure there wouldn't be a slathering beast behind this one so he held his tongue.

'Let's find out where we are, shall we?' James said, looking over his shoulder with a grin before pushing it open and climbing up.

They followed him through and found themselves in a dark room full of crates. Remus shone his wandlight onto one of the boxes.

_Honeydukes Pepper Imps_

'Guys?' he said. 'I think we're in Hogsmeade. Look.'

They all turned to look at the box he was lighting up.

'No way!' James said, already pulling the invisibility cloak out of his bag. 'Gods, this is awesome. Let's go look around Hogsmeade.'

Remus eyed the cloak in James' hand, his stomach twisting into a knot. 'I can't come under that with all of you,' he said. 'I'll just go wait in the passageway.'

James looked at him like he'd suddenly developed bright blue spots all over his face. 'Nonsense, we never leave a man behind. We'll sneak out, and then Sirius can come back for you.'

Remus' stomach unravelled and warmth blossomed in his chest. He was never going to get used to how willing they were to make allowances for him. His friends crowded together and Sirius shot him a wink as he flung the cloak around them, causing them to vanish. The stairs creaked, and then the door at the top opened a little before swinging wide and closing again. Remus moved back into a shadowy corner behind a crate in case anyone came down.

A few minutes passed before the door opened and closed again, and the stairs creaked.

'Remus?' Sirius' voice came out of thin air.

He stepped out from behind the crate. 'I'm here. Where are you?'

Sirius' head appeared first, followed by the rest of his body as he pulled the cloak off. 'You ready?'

'Yeah,' Remus said, stepping up next to him. Sirius flung the cloak over them both, and they linked arms. They'd shared the cloak many times by that point, and Remus wasn't too worried about it anymore, but his heart still raced as they snuck up the steps and out of the shop. James and Peter were waiting for them in a nearby alley.

'Where do you want to go first?' James asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet with excitement.

Remus shrugged. 'I kind of want to go back into Honeydukes, but I don't have any money to spend, so there's not really any point.'

'Let's go to Zonko's and stock up on supplies first,' Sirius said.

Peter looked a little worried. 'Don't you think they'll notice we're first years and tell the school? We're wearing our school robes and everything.'

James frowned and then shrugged. 'It's only detention if they do.'

'That's true,' Peter said. He didn't look entirely convinced but would defer to the group and he was outnumbered. 'If we get away with Zonko's, I want to go to The Three Broomsticks. I heard some older kids talking about it. Apparently the butterbeer is amazing.'

'We have a plan,' James said, clapping his hands together. He marched out into the street with confidence, and they all followed. They found Zonko's joke shop quickly and walked inside. James' eyes went wide at the displays.

'I am so glad I got my allowance yesterday,' he said, making a beeline for the wet-start fireworks.

Remus chuckled and followed him. The shop-keeper was eyeing them with suspicion but didn't seem to be making any move to send a message to the school. And his face soon changed to one of excitement when he saw how many items James was putting into his basket. Dungbombs, stink pellets, whizzing worms and colour changing hair potion soon joined the fireworks.

When James was satisfied with his haul, he went to the counter to pay—12 galleons, 4 sickles, 9 knuts—and they exited the shop back onto the icy street. They trudged through the snow, following their noses to find The Three Broomsticks. It didn't take long, and when they pushed the door open, they were hit in the face with heavenly warmth and the smell of food intensified, making Remus' stomach growl. It wasn't very busy since it was mid-afternoon and the young barmaid behind the counter frowned at them.

'Why don't you guys go sit down while I get us some drinks,' Sirius said.

They all agreed. Sirius looked the oldest out of all of them.

'Can you get some chips too?' Remus asked. 'They smell amazing.'

'No problem,' Sirius said with a grin.

They left Sirius and found themselves a secluded booth in the corner. A minute later, Sirius joined them, carrying a tray loaded with four glass mugs containing a foaming golden liquid that looked delicious and a large bowl of fat chips.

'Here we go, lads. We should add Charmer of Barmaids to my job description. She knew we'd snuck out, but promised not to tell if we behave ourselves,' he said, placing the tray on the table.

'Behave?' James asked, acting like he didn't recognise the word, never mind understand its meaning.

They all laughed.

'I know. I wasn't sure what she meant either. But maybe we'll get lucky and do it by accident,' Sirius said, sliding into the booth next to James.

Remus picked up a mug and took a sip. It was hot and sweet and like nothing he'd ever tasted before. Chocolate was better, but butterbeer came a close second.

'Mmm, delicious,' Peter said after trying his own drink.

James nodded in agreement, putting his mug back on the table. 'We should buy some bottles to take back with us.'

'Great idea,' Sirius said. He took a big swig from his mug and jumped up to return to the bar. He came back a minute later with two bulging bags that clinked when he moved.

'I bought twenty should last us a few days,' he said with a chuckle.

'Merlin knows how we're going to get those back to the dorm without getting caught,' Remus said laughing. 'Why did you buy so many?'

Sirius winked at him. 'It'll be easy with my snitch-o-scope.'

By the time they finished their drinks and devoured the chips between them, it was almost four, and they all agreed it was time to get back to the school.

Sirius took Remus down to the basement with the bags first before returning upstairs for James and Peter. When they emerged from under the cloak, James was clutching a bulging Honeydukes bag.

'Merlin, James, do you have any of your allowance left?' Remus asked.

'Yeah, loads. Don't worry,' James said with a shrug. 'Come on, we need to figure out how we're going to get all this back up that stone slide.'

They travelled back down the stairs, followed by the narrow passage, taking it in turns to carry the heavy bags of butterbeer or the lighter snacks and Zonko's products. When they reached the bottom of the stone slide, they put the bags down and considered the problem before them.

Sirius took the lead, taking a long run-up, he bounded up the stone slide and grabbed onto the back of the witch's hump at the top. 'Okay, James, can you run up about two-thirds of the way and wedge yourself there?'

James nodded and did what Sirius suggested, leaning back against the earth wall and sticking a leg out against the other side to stay in place.

'Great, now Pete, you do the same but one-third of the way up.'

It took Peter three attempts, but he managed it in the end.

'Remus, pass the bag of snacks up to Pete,'

They passed the bag of Honeydukes treats up the chain to Sirius and once he had it in hand; he opened the hump and poked his head out. It must have been all clear because he shoved the bag through.

'Right, quick, we need to do this fast in case someone comes,'

Remus had anticipated that and had already started passing the bags up, James had the Zonko's bag already and Pete was hanging onto one of the bags of butterbeer. They passed the bags up to Sirius as fast as possible and as soon as he'd dropped the fourth one through the hole he clambered through after them.

James easily made it up the last bit of the slope and disappeared after Sirius. Peter unwedged himself and slid back down to Remus.

It took Peter four attempts to make it all the way to the top and as soon as he disappeared Remus ran up after him, making it in one try.

'That was fun,' Sirius said with a grin. 'Now for the easy part.'

With each of them carrying a bag and Sirius holding his snitch-o-scope in his free hand, they made their way back to Gryffindor tower. They had to hide several times and wait for the light to go out, but they reached the dorm without getting caught.

And they now had a way into Hogsmeade whenever they wanted.


	28. Chapter 27

Saturday, 8th January 1972

After their very successful trip into Hogsmeade on Tuesday afternoon, the rest of the week sped by. They progressed to working on mid-level diffindo in Charms, using the spell to chop up a thick tree branch. In Transfiguration, they were working on turning ice into steam, and they brewed the deflating draught in Potions, making sure to bottle some of Peter's for their collection. On Saturday morning after breakfast, Remus excused himself from the group to go to the library in search of the elusive Spectral Essence, while the rest of them were going to look for the unopenable door on the sixth floor. They planned to concentrate on the west wing as they'd already searched all the main building and east wing of that floor.

They waved Remus off on the fourth floor and were continuing up the stairs when they were stopped by a shout from behind.

'Sirius! May I speak with you?'

Sirius turned around and glanced back down the stairs.

'Who's that?' James asked. 'She's pretty.'

Sirius grinned. 'Course she is. She's a Black. That's my cousin, Andromeda.'

James frowned. 'Want me to get rid of her?'

'No, it's okay,' Sirius said with a laugh. 'I actually like this one.' He bounded back down the stairs, and James and Peter followed.

'Hey, Andy,' he said when he reached her. 'What's up?'

'Oh, cousin. Have you lost all your manners already?' Andromeda asked.

Sirius stood up straighter and cleared his throat. 'Not at all, my lady,' he said before bowing politely. 'To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?'

Andromeda laughed. 'Very theatrical. I'm sure Aunt Walburga just adores you.'

'If the day ever comes that she does, just avada me.' Sirius put his hands together in a begging gesture. 'Promise me, cousin.'

'I'm afraid I may not be around to keep that promise,' Andromeda said. 'That's why I wanted to speak with you.'

Sirius immediately stopped being silly and paid attention. 'What do you mean? Are you in trouble?'

'In a way,' she said. 'I plan to announce my engagement in the summer. I don't believe the family is going to be very happy about it.'

'They don't already know about it?' Sirius asked. That was extremely unusual; all marriages in his family were formerly arranged by the betrothed's parents.

'No,' she said, shaking her head. 'That's partly why they won't be happy about it.'

Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'Only partly? Andy, whatever have you done?'

'I'm engaged to a man named Edward Tonks,' she said.

Sirius gasped. 'Oh shit, Andy.' She didn't need to say anything more. Tonks was not a wizarding name. 'Don't tell them, just go. Run away and be happy,' Sirius said, meaning every word.

Andromeda shook her head. 'I have to give them a chance to accept him.'

'But they won't, Andy. You know they won't,' Sirius said, grabbing her hands. He wanted to shake some sense into her. What she was planning was dangerous. For her and for this Edward guy.

'Why not?' James asked, startling Sirius. He'd forgotten James and Peter were there.

'Hi. I'm James Potter, and this is Peter Pettigrew. We're Sirius' best friends,' James said, offering his hand to Andromeda politely. 'Why won't your family accept him?'

'You're his best friends, but you can't figure that out?' Andromeda asked, raising her eyebrows. 'Ted is muggle-born.'

'Oh,' James said. 'Damn.'

Andromeda inclined her head. 'Exactly.'

'If you're dead set on this insane plan and I can't change your mind, what can I do to help? What do you need me for?' Sirius asked.

'When I make the announcement, I'd like you to speak up for me, as the heir to our House,' Andromeda said.

Sirius snorted. 'That's not going to help you. Don't get me wrong, I'll do it. More than happy to. But it won't do you any good.' He shrugged. 'Didn't you hear? I'm a disgrace.'

Andromeda smiled. 'You may be a breath-taking disgrace, dear cousin, but you are still the heir. Your word carries a certain weight. If only a little.'

'A breath-taking disgrace, huh? First time I've ever been called that,' Sirius said with a chuckle. 'As I said, I'll speak up for you at the announcement, but I doubt it will help. If I'm right, and they do disown you, I'll just reinstate you when I inherit, so don't worry too much about it.'

Andromeda smiled. 'Thank you, cousin. Don't ever change, will you? I foresee our House blossoming under your guidance.' She bent down and kissed him on the cheek. 'I'll see you in the summer then.' She turned to James and Peter. 'It was nice to meet you both.'

'It was nice to meet you too, Andy. Good luck with your engagement,' James said.

'Thank you. You're very kind,' she said, inclining her head before turning and heading down the stairs to the Slytherin common room.

Sirius stayed where he was for a moment, staring after her. If Andy was ejected from the family, he'd only have his Uncle Alphard and Reggie left. He was already outnumbered as it was. How was he going to survive another six years until he was old enough to leave?

'You alright, mate?' James asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Sirius shook himself out of his thoughts. 'What? Oh, yeah. I'm alright. No point worrying about it yet, is there? Summer is months away. Come on, let's go find that door.'

Sirius hurried up the stairs, forcing an end to the conversation as James and Peter scrambled to keep up with him. He didn't want to talk to them about his family issues right then. It was too much. And he didn't want to think about what might happen to Andy when she announced she was marrying a muggle-born. He'd heard the stories of disgraced ancestors and what was done to them.

After an hour of searching, they found what they believed to be the unopenable door at the end of an empty corridor. It was jet black and had no identifying marks at all. Not even a doorknob. They weren't able to get it to open with alohomora, so, believing they'd been successful, they returned to Gryffindor tower to await Remus and find out if he'd found the recipe for the potion.

As they walked into the common room, Sirius glanced at the noticeboard to see if their times had been posted for Gryffindor's sand-war heats yet. They hadn't, but there was a new notice on the board that caught his eye.

'James, Pete. Look at this,' he said.

_Hogwarts Chiefs of Raucous Revelry_

_are pleased to announce_

_**The Hogwarts Annual Super Secret Creature Hunt** _

_The hunt will take place, as always, in the Forbidden Forest_

_on_

_**Sunday, 13th February** _

_**9:00 - 16:00** _

_Please be aware that this event is dangerous. It involves traversing the Forbidden Forest and actively searching for potentially dangerous animals. As such, lessons on offensive and defensive magic will be provided for four weeks before the hunt._

_If you wish to take advantage of these lessons, please meet in classroom 12c on the third floor on the next four Saturdays at 1pm._

_This hunt is about spotting creatures, not killing them. Any team caught intentionally harming any creature, other than in self-defence, will be immediately disqualified._

_As always, teams must consist of four people._

_Under no circumstances reveal the existence of the Hogwarts Annual Super Secret Creature Hunt to any member of Hogwarts staff, under pain of shunning._

They signed up right away without waiting for Remus to agree; they were all sure he'd be well up for it, and then they went up to the dorm. Sirius grabbed a butterbeer from their stash and leapt onto his bed before cracking it open.

'We've only got a few left, you want to make a trip to Hogsmeade tomorrow and get some more?' James asked, grabbing his own bottle.

'Sure. Sounds like a laugh,' Sirius said with a shrug.

'I think I'll stay here this time,' Peter said. 'Remus promised to help me with that essay for History.'

'Alright, but we're going to need both of you to help get the bottles up the slide. You'll have to meet us at a specified time or something,' James said.

Peter nodded. 'Yeah, we can do that.'

Just then, the door opened and Remus walked in, his nose stuck in a book. He closed the door behind him, walked over to his bed and sat down, all without looking up.

'Did someone stick that book to your face?' Sirius asked.

Remus jumped a little, and his head shot up in surprise. 'Oh, I didn't realise you were back, sorry.'

'Well, it's hard to notice that sort of thing when you're not looking,' James said, laughing. 'What's so interesting about that book?'

'I found the potion,' Remus said. 'But it's ridiculously complicated. It's actually in a book called _The world's most complicated potions_.'

'Show it to Pete,' James said, not seeming concerned.

Remus handed the open library book to Peter and sat back down while he looked over the recipe.

'He's right, this is going to take at least a month to brew. Probably more like three with having to put it under stasis for lessons,' Peter said. 'And some of these ingredients are going to be a nightmare to collect.'

'We can do it,' James said, puffing out his chest. 'We just need to find a secure location to brew it.'

'What about the room behind the portrait on the third-floor?' Sirius asked.

Remus shook his head. 'No good, all you have to do to get in is to threaten the portrait, and he's so annoying people probably open it by accident all the time.'

'We'll find somewhere,' James said. 'We're the Marauders. Oh, by the way, Remus. We signed up for the creature hunt next month, and we have to go to defence lessons every Saturday afternoon until then.'

Remus paled. 'Creature hunt?'

-o-o-o-o-

Three days later, Sirius and the other Marauders were prowling the corridors on the hunt for Peeves. They needed poltergeist ectoplasm for the Spectral Essence, and if Peeves refused them, then they weren't sure what they would do. Poltergeist ectoplasm was incredibly rare and therefore expensive. Even James couldn't afford to buy it.

They found Peeves floating along the fourth-floor corridor outside the library, dumping water balloons on anyone who tried to go in or out. The Marauders took their soaking with good grace; they wanted Peeves to be amenable.

'Good Afternoon, Peeves. How many people have you managed to soak?' Sirius asked.

'Thirty-seven,' Peeves said, cackling.

'Nice!' James said.

Peeves frowned at them. 'What are you lickle firsties after? The rest of you run away when they see me, but you stop to talk. It's suspicious.'

'We knew you were smart. There's no fooling you, is there?' Remus said.

'Flattery will get you nowhere, Loony,' Peeves said, doing a back-flip in mid-air. 'Tell old Peevsy what you want, and maybe we can strike a deal. Peeves knows you are bad little boys.'

'Now who's doing the flattering?' Sirius said with a grin. 'We need a cup of your ectoplasm, good sir.'

'Ooh. That's a big ask, that is. Old Peevsy will need a lot in return.'

'Your wish is our command,' Sirius said, bowing to the poltergeist who cackled again in response.

'Hmm. You know, old Dumbles uses horrible magic to keep Peevsy from joining your classes. Poor Peevsy can't have any fun when the students is learning.' He shook his head sadly before looking up with an evil smirk. 'But you ickle firsties can get in.'

'You want us to disrupt a class and cause mayhem? Easy,' James said. 'Done.'

'Not just one class, Potty,' Peeves said, shaking his head. 'I want you to cause mayhem in four classes. You can choose which ones, but they can't be your own. And this is just for starters. You have to complete three jobs for me if you want my ectoplasm.'

'Deal,' Sirius said.

'Ooh, you is bad little firsties,' Peeves said before flying away down the corridor, cackling gleefully.

Sirius turned to look at the others. 'So…' he said. 'We can make this easy on ourselves. The divination teacher seemed like a good sport, Flitwick, Hawthorne and Slughorn. Or—'

'We can have fun with it, and hit McGonagall four separate times,' James finished for him with a grin.

'I pick that option,' Sirius said.

'Seconded,' James said.

Remus and Peter groaned and shared a look of resignation.

'Might as well get started, then,' Remus said. 'What do you want to do?'

They spent ten minutes planning before making their way to McGonagall's classroom. When they got there, Sirius peeked through the door.

'Fifth year, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw,' he said, pulling his head back out of sight.

'The Ravenclaws will not be amused,' Remus said.

Sirius shrugged. 'Not my fault they don't have a sense of humour.' With that, he flung the door open with a yell of, 'Minnie, my treasure! I cannot go another second without declaring my undying love for you!'

McGonagall stopped mid-sentence and stared at him, utterly stunned. Sirius took the opportunity to march up to her, grab her hand and fall to his knee. James, Remus and Peter followed him into the room, roaming between the desks and shooting glitter and heart-shaped confetti into the air with their wands.

'You are the smartest and most beautiful woman I've ever met. Please will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?' Sirius asked, managing with great difficulty to keep a straight face.

The Hufflepuffs in the room were giggling, but most of the Ravenclaws looked annoyed and were brushing the glitter and confetti off of their desks irritably.

'Mister Black,' Professor McGonagall said, looking down her nose at him. 'I'm flattered, but I'm afraid I must decline.'

Sirius gasped and pressed his hand to his heart. 'Minnie, you have broken my heart. I may never recover from this brutal rejection.'

'Be that as it may, Mister Black. My answer is still no. However, you will have plenty of time to pine over me. Detention every night for the next two weeks.' She looked to the other Marauders. 'All of you.'

'Ah, Minnie, you still love me after all,' Sirius said, jumping to his feet and bowing. 'I will see you tonight, my queen.'

The Hufflepuffs in the room chuckled as the Marauders sauntered out of the classroom and closed the door behind them.

'I can't believe you called her Minnie to her face,' James said, laughing.

Sirius chuckled. 'Out of everything I said, that's what you focus on?'

They received their first detention slips at dinner that evening. Their crime had been recorded as, "Disrupting a lesson to propose to a Professor," and their punishment was to help Professor Sprout in the greenhouses, providing them the perfect opportunity to scope out the location of the leaping toadstools. They were in greenhouse three, but they had to harvest them under a full moon, so they couldn't take them yet.

Sirius was annoyed that they would all need to stay up late on the full moon. It meant he would be able to spend less time in the tunnel with Moony, keeping Remus safe. But there was nothing he could do about it. The mission would require at least two of them. He just hoped Moony wouldn't do too much damage before he was able to get there.

The next morning Sirius snuck out of the castle before dawn to collect a dewdrop from the grounds. He had been delegated the task by James because he was "the Marauder least bothered by getting up early." It was a little unfair. James had woken them all up at the crack of dawn on several occasions. He clearly didn't mind waking early either.

Sirius made up for his early morning by sleeping through History. He could borrow Remus' detailed notes later if he needed to know the information. Charms was tough. Professor Flitwick had returned their own hacked up tree branches from the last lesson to them and told them to use Reparo to make them whole again. It was a devious tactic. The ease of Reparo was directly related to how clean the break was. If they'd done a good job in the last class, it would be easy, and vice versa. Sirius had not done a good job in the last class. He could have if he'd wanted to, but he'd thought it would be funny to hack his tree branch up as badly as he could manage. If you thought about it objectively, he'd done stupendously at the task he was attempting; doing it badly.

On their way to lunch, Peter spotted a notice for the next Hogsmeade weekend. The third-years and above would be allowed into the village on Saturday 22nd, the weekend after next.

'Good time to go shopping for ingredients, don't you think?' Sirius asked, looking at James. We'll blend in with everyone else.'

James nodded. 'We'll have to be back by lunchtime though. We have the creature hunt prep in the afternoon.'

'Yeah, don't want to miss that,' Sirius agreed. 'We could use a few offensive spells in our repertoire. It's so annoying that they don't teach us any until second-year.'

'They'll be useful for the sand wars too,' Peter said as they entered the Great Hall.

'Do you think it's safe to be learning spells above our level? You remember what McGonagall said about draining all our magic,' Remus said.

James shrugged as he sat down at the table. 'I'm sure the Chiefs know what they're doing.'

'You're only saying that because they picked you to bequeath their legacy to,' Remus said.

James puffed his chest out. 'Exactly. They clearly have superior judgement.'

Remus chuckled. 'Or, you know, they're stark-raving mad.'

'I resent the implication of that remark,' James said before taking a large bite of his sandwich.

Sirius grabbed his own sandwich. 'Maybe you're both right, intelligence and madness aren't mutually exclusive.'

They lingered in the Great Hall until they saw Minnie enter, and then they hurried to the Transfiguration classroom and let themselves inside. They quickly spread out, having already planned who would do what, and they worked like a well-managed shroud of house-elves, planting the whizzing worms and fireworks around the room and setting them to go off ten minutes into the lesson. As soon as they were finished, they left and hid in a nearby alcove to watch the results.

Sirius was delighted to see third-year Gryffindors and Slytherins arriving for the next lesson. Several of the students they had caught in acts of bullying were there. He felt a little bad for Frank Longbottom—he seemed like a good guy—but he was a Gryffindor. It would take more than fireworks and whizzing worms to scare him.

At twenty to two, the mayhem began. First, the whizzing worms went off. With an ear-splitting shriek, they shot out of the nooks and crannies the Marauders had hidden them in and flew around the classroom. Or, at least, Sirius assumed that was what was happening. He could only hear the squeals and cries that were the result. The fireworks went off next, with deafening bangs and flashes of coloured light bright enough to light up the dim corridor. The squeals inside the classroom turned to screams and students began pouring out of the door. Professor McGonagall marched out of the classroom, glanced left and right, and made a beeline for their alcove. She pulled back the tapestry and glared at them. Sirius tried very hard to stifle his laughter, but it burst from him in a loud snort. McGonagall's lips twitched a little.

'How did I know you four would be behind this?' she asked. 'And that you wouldn't be able to resist staying to watch the result?'

Sirius grinned at her. 'It's because you know us so well, my love.'

McGonagall pursed her lips. 'I'm starting to wish I didn't know you at all. Another two weeks of detention.' She sighed, turned away and muttered, 'Not that I think it will do any good.'

Sirius waited until she had ushered her students back into the classroom and closed the door before turning to the others. 'If we keep hitting Minnie's class, we'll be in detention until we graduate.'

Remus nodded in agreement. 'We already have a month. It's going to eat into a lot of our free time already.

'You want to hit someone else for the last two?' James asked.

'I think we probably should,' Sirius said. 'Flitwick's a good sport. And Slughorn adores us.'

James grinned. 'Yeah, he's sickening, but might as well take advantage of his preference for the rich and powerful.'

They returned to Gryffindor tower to make plans to hit Flitwick's and Slughorn's classes during their two free-periods the following day. On the way in, they checked the notice-board and found the times had been posted for the first round of Gryffindor heats on Saturday.

James frowned. 'We're not on here.'

'That's probably for the best,' Remus said. 'If we don't compete until next month, we'll have had four weeks of lessons for the Creature Hunt. We'll stand a much better chance.'

'We should go watch anyway, get an idea of the competition,' Peter said.

James grinned. 'You're right, it gives us an advantage.'

Sirius didn't think he'd ever get used to how quickly James' mood could switch. One minute he was morose and downtrodden, the next happy and excited. It was unnerving.

'We better get some homework done if our evenings for the next month are going to be taken up with detention, the weekends with sand-wars and Creature Hunt prep and our free-periods with collecting potion ingredients,' Remus said.

Sirius blinked. 'Gods, you're right. We have a lot going on, don't we?'

-o-o-o-o-

It was funny, Remus thought as he watched his friends with their heads bent over books and parchment, that everyone considered James and Sirius to be lazy trouble-makers. The more he got to know them, the more he realised how untrue that was. Sure, they themselves claimed not to care about schoolwork, but despite that, they were diligent about getting their work completed on time, and he had never known either of them to get anything less than an E on an essay.

Peter tried exceptionally hard too, Remus thought fondly, turning his attention to the blonde head of his other friend. He was outstanding at Potions, of course, but he also did well in Herbology, since the two subjects were closely linked, and with all the practice he got thanks to their mischief, he was improving in Charms and Transfiguration. He was fairly poor at History and Defence, but the others were always willing to look over his essays and give him some pointers. They took the Marauders Code very seriously, even if the 'aid' was merely pointing out mistakes in an essay about the 16th Century Goblin Rebellion.

After dinner that evening, they dutifully attended their detention for Sirius' proposal, which that day was to be taken by the groundskeeper, Hagrid. Their detention slips had told them to report to Hagrid's hut at 6:30 pm. They arrived promptly after crossing the grounds, stepping around the few patches of snow still left, and Hagrid was waiting for them in the little garden next to his hut.

'There yeh are. I hear yers been havin' some fun with Professor McGonagall,' he said when he spotted them coming down the path. 'Well, come on then. You fours goin' to help me weed the garden ready fer planting in the Spring.'

It was hard physical labour, and Remus found it exhausting, but Hagrid kept up a merry conversation while they worked, and before they left, he invited them to come and visit him for tea whenever they got the chance. Remus thought Hagrid seemed really nice despite his rather intimidating appearance, and even though his muscles were aching, it was one of the more pleasant detentions he'd had.

During Thursday's first free period, they hit Professor Flitwick's class of second-year Slytherins and Ravenclaws. Taking inspiration from the Niffler Hunt, they "borrowed" a couple of brooms from the broom shed, and James and Sirius flew up to the windows of the classroom, with Peter on the back of James' broom and Remus on the back of Sirius', and charmed dungbombs to soar into the classroom and explode.

Remus found it a little easier that time. They didn't need to go as high and he was wearing both his gloves and hood (which even morphed to match his hair), so he wasn't concerned about contact, but flying was still terrifying and he was glad to be back on the ground. They didn't get caught, Flitwick was too slow to get to the window, and they were long gone by the time he looked outside.

They hit Slughorn's class Friday afternoon. At lunchtime, they snuck into his office and checked the curriculum. After discovering Slughorn was covering pepper-up potion with his fifth-year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, they snuck into the supply cabinet and switched the essence of belladonna with essence of dittany. Peter assured them that it would cause everyone's potions to emit a foul odour before evaporating into dust. The plan, unfortunately, meant they wouldn't be able to see the resultant confusion and disgust, but they just couldn't afford any more detentions. They had far too much to do.

They searched for Peeves Friday evening but weren't able to find him before they had to go to detention, peeling salamander eyes for Slughorn. It was a revolting task, and they all went straight to the showers when they were finished.

Saturday morning dawned overcast but dry. Not that it mattered. It was always warm and sunny in the beach room. James thankfully let them sleep in until eight before waking them all up by leaping on Sirius and Peter. Remus was almost grateful for his lycanthropy that saved him from such a fate.

Almost.

The four Marauders hurried through breakfast and made their way to the beach room to watch the competition and get an idea of what they would be up against. The beach-room was already busy with students enjoying their weekend, and there was a sizable crowd at the far end where the sandcastles had been set up, surrounded by magical barriers to keep spectators out of the battle zone.

The sandcastles that had been built in preparation for the Gryffindor matches were far superior to the ones the Marauders had made on Sirius' birthday. They were tall, square and large enough to fit four people inside comfortably. Each castle had two levels from which to fight and four red and gold flags, one in each corner.

At nine o'clock, the two Gryffindor seventh-year prefects called for attention and everyone stopped chatting to listen.

'Welcome, to the first of Gryffindor's three sand war heats. The rules are simple. When a flag reaches ground-level, it will turn white. When all four of your flags are white, you're out. You may use any spell that you know to attack the other castles and to defend your own, but you must stay inside your castle. Years 4, 5, 6 and 7 will compete this week, to give the younger years more time to prepare. Years 1, 2 and 3 will compete in a month's time. The winners from both weeks will compete during the third heat until only two teams remain. Those teams will represent Gryffindor in the semi-finals. Are you ready?'

The crowd cheered in confirmation, and the first four teams were called up. They were all seventh-years, and as they took their positions inside the giant sand-castles, Remus began to feel a little worried about their chances. That feeling only intensified when the fighting began.

Spells flew back and forth between the competitors at lightning speed. The multi-coloured flashes of light and loud bangs made him feel dizzy trying to keep up with the action. The fighters were just as proficient in defence as they were in offence though, and the castles stood up well under the assault.

'Do you see how all the teams have two members dedicated to defending, and two to attacking?' James asked.

Remus watched carefully. 'Yeah, but they don't all seem to trust each other. The attackers on those teams,' he said, pointing. 'Keep switching to defence. It's working against them.'

'You're right,' Sirius said. 'Their castles are definitely going down quicker.'

'So if we trust each other and stick to our roles, we'll have a better chance?' Peter asked.

'I think we can do that, don't you?' James said with a grin.

'We've had plenty of practice at it,' Sirius said with a chuckle.

It was true. Their mischief making thus far had necessitated putting their trust in each other, sticking to their assigned tasks and not deviating, even under pressure. And they excelled at it.

The battle ended ten minutes later, and the next set of seventh-years went head to head. The tactics were similar and so were the pitfalls, although Peter noticed something else during that match.

'That team,' he said, pointing. 'The attackers are using fancy spells that look exciting, but they don't seem to be doing much.'

'Don't show off,' Remus said gravely. 'That's going to be difficult for some of us.'

'Hey!' Sirius and James said at the same time.

'I resent that remark,' James said, sticking his nose in the air.

'I never said I was talking about you,' Remus said, laughing. 'You just assumed.'

James chuckled. 'Okay, so we'll stick to simple, fast spells.'

'Fast but effective,' Sirius said. 'Sounds like your style, James.'

James shoved Sirius in the shoulder. 'Shut up.'

Remus spoke up to keep a fight from breaking out between the two. 'It seems to work best if the defenders are up top and the attackers below.'

'Which of us should do what, do you think?' James asked.

'Probably best if we wait until we've had some lessons. See what we're good at,' Peter said. 'Or not worst at, anyway.'

'Hey, stop with that pessimistic nonsense, mate,' Sirius said, putting his arm around Peter's shoulders. 'You're going to do great, I know it.'

They stayed until lunchtime and then left to get some food before their Creature Hunt Prep lessons. The battles had reached the fifth years by that point, and they had picked up some useful tactics. Unfortunately, everyone else watching had probably noticed the same things.

They arrived at classroom 12c five minutes early, but there were already around forty students crowded into the room. Remus wasn't overly excited about spending hours in such a crowded space, but he'd worn his gloves and hood in preparation, so he wasn't too anxious either.

At 1:30 pm, two men walked on to the stage. Remus didn't recognise either of them, and they looked far too old to be students.

'Who are they?' Sirius asked.

'No idea,' James said with a shrug.

A fourth-year Ravenclaw standing nearby overheard and leaned over to whisper, 'They're the Chiefs' disguises. No one knows who they really are. Whenever they do show themselves, they look like that.'

'Thanks,' James said, nodding at her. When she moved away, he bent close to Remus and the others. 'I wonder if we'll get to find out who they are when we pass the test.'

'Don't you mean "if"?' Remus said, raising an eyebrow.

James frowned at him. 'No, I mean "when". You should have more faith in your friends, Remus.'

Remus chuckled but was saved from answering by one of the men on stage clearing his throat.

'Ladies, gentlemen and everyone in between. We are gathered here today to impart knowledge and wisdom from our eldest to our youngest. A noble endeavour and I'd like to begin by thanking those from the upper years for so generously donating your time to help teach our younger peers how to survive The Creature Hunt, as you all were once taught yourselves, so many years ago.'

The audience chuckled, clapped and hooted, and the Chiefs' waited patiently for the noise to die down.

'We will begin, as always, with a nod to safety, and we will repeat what your professors have already told you. Never, ever attempt a spell that you are not positive is within your capabilities. With that in mind, I'd like you to form an orderly queue. We are going to perform a simple and painless spell to assess the strength of your magical cores and so determine what level of spell you'll be permitted to learn today.'

Remus' mouth went dry and his heart skipped a beat. Would his lycanthropy show up on the test? What would they do? Was his secret about to be revealed to everyone here? The others were already moving towards the queue that was forming at one end of the stage.

'You coming, Remus?' Sirius asked. He was looking at Remus with a concerned expression. Remus knew he was acting odd and drawing attention. There was no choice, if he left now it would look suspicious. He would have to go through with the test and hope it either didn't show up, or if it did, the Chiefs' would have the decency to not mention it publically.

'Yeah, sorry. Was in my own little world there,' Remus said, joining Sirius and slipping between him and James in the queue. They moved to make room for him, and Remus felt a shiver of fear run down his spine. Would they hate him when he reached the front of the queue? He would find out soon enough. The queue was moving fast. Both of the Chiefs were performing the spell, and it only took a few seconds to cast. The Chiefs would then tell the student what level they were currently at and move on to the next people in the queue.

It only took five minutes for Remus to reach the front, and he stepped onto the stage along with Sirius and approached the Chiefs. The two disguised students waved their wands and checked the results, which appeared on a sheet of parchment each of them was holding.

The Chief who was testing Remus looked up from his parchment and raised an eyebrow. Remus held his breath.

'Twelve,' he said. 'That's impressive for a first year. You can learn stupefy, protego, relashio and flippendo.'

Remus breathed out a relieved sigh and nodded. 'Thank you.'

He moved away to wait for his friends. They quickly joined him and compared results. Sirius and James were both nines and were allowed to learn the same spells as Remus. Peter was a seven and allowed to learn everything but relashio. They were all impressed to hear Remus was already so much stronger than them, but didn't seem suspicious about it. James was excited about the potential for future mischief, though.

The first lesson was pretty boring. They were put into groups according to their level and current knowledge and learned the theory behind stupefy and protego. The first practical would be the following week.

On their way back to Gryffindor Tower, they bumped into Peeves lurking on the Grand Staircase and throwing frog's spawn at passers-by.

When he spotted them, he swooped down and hovered in front of them, but a little above their heads, forcing them to look up at him. 'Well, if it isn't my ickle firstie minions. I heard about what you've been doing to the poor professors.' He shook his head. 'Such naughty ickle boys.'

'Have we completed the first task to your satisfaction, Mister Peeves?' Sirius asked.

Peeves nodded and cackled. 'Oh yes, Peeves is very impressed with your performance. The second task might be a little more tricky. Mister Filch has been terribly mean to poor old Peevsy.' He looked up with a smirk. 'I want you to ransack his office.'

-o-o-o-o-

_**Letter Remus found in his bag Saturday evening** _

Marauder No. 1,

I thought it best to give you this information privately. I lied about the results of your test earlier today. Your magical core is a lot stronger than it should be at your age, which suggests it has been exercised regularly since you were quite young. I don't know the reason for this but did not wish to create difficulties for you or cause suspicion to be cast your way. Your magical core is, in fact, a level twenty.

Your secret is safe with us,

The Hogwarts Chiefs of Raucous Revelry.


	29. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't wait until tomorrow, enjoy :)

Tuesday, 18th January 1972

The rest of the weekend passed in a flurry of homework and planning, and by Tuesday afternoon, they were ready to complete Peeves’ second task.

Sirius was hidden under the cloak with James outside the door of Filch’s office, waiting for him to leave. Peter and Remus were one corridor away, preparing to set off the decoy to draw him out. It was debatable who had the riskier job. Peter and Remus, who would be leading Filch through the castle on a merry chase and keeping him distracted for as long as they could. Or Sirius and James, who would be wrecking his office while he was away with no idea when he would return. Both teams would be in severe trouble if they were caught.

The sound of distant explosions ripped Sirius from his thoughts. That would be the fireworks going off. Any second now… Yes! The office door opened, and Filch emerged, his face contorted in an angry scowl and his cat close on his heels.

‘What have those little monsters done now?’ he muttered as he stomped up the corridor. Sirius and James slipped through the door into the office before it closed behind him. Sirius glanced around, trying to decide where to start. There wasn’t much in the room to destroy apart from the many filing cabinets, so they began there.

Sirius pulled open drawers and pulled out papers, throwing them into the air and scattering them throughout the room. James joined him and, within a few minutes, they had emptied the filing cabinets of all student punishment records and the office was a complete mess of parchment. Next, they turned to the desk.

Sirius grabbed the ink bottle off the top, opened it and poured the ink out over the carpet of parchment. James pulled open the top drawer and started pulling things out. 

‘Hey, look at this,’ James said, waving a folded sheet of parchment. ‘I think it’s a love letter. It’s got little hearts all over it.’

Sirius snorted. ‘Who’s it to? His cat?’

James laughed and opened it, then he wrinkled his nose. ‘No, it’s _to_ him.’

Sirius raised his eyebrows. ‘Who would be writing a love letter to Filch?’

‘Someone with bad taste?’ James suggested with a chuckle.

Sirius took the parchment. It looked ancient and worn. Like Filch had read and reread it thousands of times. 

_16th July 1955_

_Argus,_

_I’ve missed you this summer. I long for September when we return to school and I can see you again. I have told Mother and Father about you and they are supportive but insist that I finish my education and complete my Mastery before we can marry. Do not worry, my love, I will work hard to complete it as soon as possible so we can be together._

_Yours always and forever,_

_Selima_

‘Filch isn’t married, is he?’ Sirius asked, looking up from the letter.

James shrugged. ‘Don’t think so.’

‘Wonder what happened,’ Sirius said. ‘Seems like she really liked him.’

‘That’s not important right now. Let’s finish up so we can get out of here before he gets back,’ James said, pulling out the next drawer down and dumping the contents on the floor.

‘You’re the one that picked up the bloody letter,’ Sirius said. He was about to drop the parchment on the floor with everything else when he paused. Filch had kept it for over fifteen years. It was clearly important to him, and as much as Sirius disliked the grumpy caretaker, he didn’t feel right destroying something so personal and precious. Student files were one thing. A letter from an ex-lover whose fate was unknown? That was something else entirely. Sirius folded the letter back up carefully and put it back inside the empty drawer.

James raised an eyebrow. ‘You’re just a big softy really, aren’t you?’

Sirius shrugged. ‘Someone loved the guy once. Let’s not take that away from him.’

They finished ransacking the office and left. Sirius’ stomach squirmed at the state they left the room in. After reading the letter, Filch seemed more human to him. But they needed the ectoplasm, and that was the only way they could get it. So he swallowed down his guilt and walked with James under the cloak to the pre-arranged meeting place. James tapped the discoloured brick in the fifth floor east-wing corridor three times, and the wall between classrooms 2 and 3 opened up to reveal a large alcove and Peter and Remus blinking at them.

‘Success?’ Remus asked.

‘Complete,’ James answered with a grin. ‘Let’s find Peeves and find out what the last task is.’

It took them an hour to locate Peeves on the second floor. They found him hiding inside a suit of armour and scaring people who walked past.

‘Filch’s office has been well and truly desecrated, Peeves,’ Sirius said with a bow. What is your final request?’

Peeves emerged from the suit of armour cackling. ‘Oh, I have to see this.’ 

He disappeared through the floor, and Sirius shrugged at the other Marauders. ‘I’m sure he’ll be back soon.’

Peter sat down against the wall. ‘What?’ he asked when the others looked at him. ‘I’m knackered after all that running.’

Peeves returned a few minutes later, laughing with glee. ‘Oh, you naughty boys. Filch is so mad,’ he said. ‘The final task is the hardest of all. I think you might fail this one.’

‘What is it?’ James asked.

Peeves did a somersault and blew a raspberry at them. ‘You have to create an enormous mess in all four common rooms,’ he said, cackling madly and flying away before they could respond. He clearly thought the task impossible, but he was underestimating them. The Marauders would prove him wrong.

They decided to wait until the following week to complete the mission to make Peeves think they were having difficulty with it. Wednesday morning went by quickly. History was as boring as ever and they were working on a medium level cushioning charm in Charms. It was a lot of fun. Professor Flitwick gave them all a dozen eggs, and they were supposed to cast the charm on their desks and then drop the egg. Sirius kept doing it wrong on purpose so the eggs would break and his desk was a complete mess by the time the lesson was over. 

After lunch, Remus and Peter both wanted to get some sleep before Astronomy, so Sirius dragged James outside. They were sitting by the Great Lake and flicking stones as far as they could with their wands.

James cast depulso on a stone and watched as it pinged into the air and splashed down into the water. ‘So, we’ve not had much time alone recently. How are you doing with everything?’

Sirius sighed and laid back on the grass. ‘Okay, I guess? I’m still sad about Reggie. And pissed at my mother. But it’s easier with you guys.’ 

James reached out and squeezed his shoulder. ‘I’m glad we make it better. Hopefully, you can speak to Reggie about it all when you get home.’

Sirius sighed. He knew it was unlikely he’d be allowed any time alone with Reg when he went home, but he didn’t want James to know how bad he expected it to be. There was no use in both of them worrying about something that couldn’t be changed.

‘Yeah, hopefully,’ he said. And then to change the subject. ‘Hey, you want to try to get the Whomping Willow bark while we’re out here?’

James took the hint and stood up, brushing the dirt off of the back of his robes. ‘Sure. Could be fun. Race you there.’

‘Cheater!’ Sirius yelled as James shot off towards the tree while he was still scrambling to get up. James’ only response was wild laughter. Sirius smiled and launched into a run after him. There was no way he could catch up—James was far more athletic than he was—but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t give it a bloody good try.

James slowed down as he got closer to the tree, and Sirius saw him leap backwards out of the way of a swinging branch. He skidded to a stop next to him and bent over to catch his breath.

‘Any ideas how we’re going to do this?’ James asked.

Sirius knew exactly how it could be done, but he had no way to explain how he knew it to James, so he couldn’t tell him. ‘Nope.’

James grinned. ‘Trial and error it is then.’ 

James launched himself forwards towards the tree and dodged one branch and then a second before a third swung from the opposite direction and knocked his feet out from under him.

‘James!’ Sirius shouted, darting forward to where James lay on the ground. He leapt over a branch that came his way and grabbed James’ hands, dragging him backwards out of the way. Just in time. A second later a branch thunked down, hitting the ground where James had been lying a moment before. Fuck!

‘Thanks, mate. Think you just saved my life,’ James said, getting to his feet. His voice sounded shaky.

Sirius shrugged. ‘What are friends for, if not to pull you out of life-threatening situations just in the nick of time?’ 

James laughed. ‘Well, yeah.’

They took a moment to catch their breath and let their heart rates slow down.

‘So, the run-in-with-no-plan-whatsoever plan didn’t work,’ Sirius said.

‘No, and it usually goes so well for me,’ James said. ‘I feel betrayed.’

‘Understandable,’ Sirius said. ‘What about if we attack from two sides? Do you think the tree can split its defence?’

James shrugged. ‘What is it you always say? There’s only one way to find out.’

Sirius grinned. ‘You go around the other side then.’ He made a shooing motion with his hands.

James didn’t argue, much to Sirius’ relief. At least if James reached the trunk on that side, he wouldn’t be able to see the tunnel.

‘Ready?’ James called.

‘Count of three?’ Sirius yelled back.

‘One, two, three!’ James shouted.

When James said “three” Sirius rocketed towards the tree, dodging and weaving through the attacking branches, but a few feet in he was forced to retreat. The branches were too thick and too fast. He couldn’t get through without risking his life. Dumbledore really had chosen a perfect guardian for the tunnel.

‘You alright?’ he shouted to James.

‘Yep, had to back off though, you?’

‘Same.’

‘What are you two doing?’

Sirius looked up and saw a couple of second-year Gryffindor boys approaching them.

‘Seeing how close we can get to the trunk,’ Sirius said, thinking fast. ‘We made a bet. Whoever can get a piece of bark wins ten galleons.’

The two boys glanced at each other. ‘Can we join the bet?’ 

‘Do you have ten galleons?’ James asked.

‘No,’ he said.

‘That’s okay. How much do you have?’ Sirius asked.

‘Five sickles,’ one of them said.

‘Eight sickles,’ the other said.

‘Alright, new bet. fifteen sickles. The winner gets five from each of the others. Deal?’ Sirius said.

They all agreed and the “game” began in earnest. Sirius thought five sickles a small price to pay if they got the bark they needed. 

Unfortunately, none of them could get close to the trunk, and after more than an hour of trying, they were too exhausted to continue that day. They all agreed to continue the bet. If anyone succeeded and produced the bark, they would get the fifteen sickles.

Sirius and James took a slow walk back up to Gryffindor Tower and stayed in the common room talking until a sleepy Peter emerged from the dormitory staircase to let them know they were awake. 

-o-o-o-o-

Remus woke up on Saturday morning to Cosmo nuzzling his face. She was a playful little kitten, and Remus adored her, but he wished she wouldn’t insist on waking him up so early every day. Sitting up, he pulled her off his chest and plonked her down on the bed, giving her some fuss before lighting his wand with Lumos and playing chase the light with her for a few minutes. After a while, though, the pressure in his bladder became too much to ignore, so he crawled out of bed and padded across the room to the bathroom. 

On the way, he glanced at Sirius’ bed and was surprised to find it empty. The sun hadn’t even risen yet, and Sirius usually took great pleasure in sleeping in on weekends now that he finally could. Remus pushed the bathroom door open expecting to find Sirius inside, but the bathroom was just as empty as his bed had been.

Remus completed his business and left. As he walked out of the bathroom, he had a clear view of James’ bed. The curtains were open, and Sirius was curled up next to James, who had an arm flung around his waist. Remus smiled a little at the sight of them. There must have been a storm last night. He glanced out of the window and sure enough, everything outside was drenched. He’d slept right through it. 

Remus fed Cosmo—who had been mewling piteously at her owner’s severe neglect in making her wait for breakfast until he’d used the toilet—and returned to his bed to read while he waited for the others to wake up. He didn’t get much time for pleasure reading lately, and he missed it. Maybe he wasn’t as cross with Cosmo waking him early as he’d thought.

The other Marauders woke up an hour later, and the dorm was a hive of activity as they prepared for their trip into Hogsmeade.

‘Have you got the cloak, James?’ Sirius checked as they were about to head down to breakfast.

‘Of course, I’ve got the cloak,’ James said, backtracking to his trunk and pulling it out before shoving it into his bag. ‘What do you take me for? A complete idiot?’ 

Remus chuckled. ‘I think it’s safe to say nobody here thinks you’re an idiot. The rest of the school on the other hand…’

Peter nodded. ‘We just know you’re not great at remembering things. That’s why we remind you. Marauders help each other, remember?’

James grinned. ‘Okay, so am I forgetting anything else?’

‘Money?’ Sirius asked, and James patted his pocket and nodded.

‘List?’ Peter said.

‘I’ve got that,’ Remus said, pulling it out of his own pocket. He’d copied it out from the Marauders Notebook while everyone else was showering.

‘At least someone’s organised,’ Sirius said.

‘I think that’s all we need,’ Peter said.

‘Oh crap,’ James said, running back to his bed and picking up his wand.

‘Merlin, James. Honestly, you’d forget your head if it wasn’t screwed on,’ Remus said.

‘Well, let’s all be grateful that it’s securely attached. A headless James would not be a pretty sight,’ Sirius said, laughing. 

Forty-five minutes later, they had full bellies and were loitering in the third-floor corridor, waiting for two Hufflepuff students to leave so they could open the statue and make their escape.

‘We could drop a stink pellet,’ Peter suggested. ‘Make it less likely anyone will be here when we get back too.’

James cocked his head. ‘That’s a great idea.’ He started rummaging in his bag. ‘I think I’ve got some here somewhere… Yes!’ He pulled out the packet and opened it, handing one to each of them and taking one for himself. ‘Spread out and set them off at either end of this corridor and the ones leading to it.’

Remus took his stink pellet and meandered up the corridor, trying to act innocent. He dropped it when he reached the corner and continued on, circling back around and passing Sirius on the way, who winked at him. By the time he returned to the corridor with the passage to Honeydukes, the Hufflepuffs had scarpered, and the corridor was filled with a noxious odour that clogged his throat and made it difficult to breathe.

James was covering his mouth and nose with his school tie. ‘Let’s get out of here, shall we?’ he asked before tapping the statue of Gunhilda with his wand and saying _Dissendium_ to open the passage. They all clambered through and slid down the stone slide, regrouping at the bottom and taking deep satisfying breaths of the clean, if a little stale, air. 

It took close to an hour to walk the full length of the passage and climb the endless stairs to Honeydukes cellar. If they wanted to be back at the school in time for the Creature Hunt lessons, they would only have an hour in the village. They had planned their route beforehand so as not to waste time on the day making decisions, and they would be hitting the apothecary first, as that was the main purpose of the trip. Depending on how long that took, James and Sirius had voted for Zonkos to be the second stop, and if there was any time left after that they would stop at the pub to stock up their butterbeer supply. But that wasn’t a priority. They knew the barmaid wouldn’t snitch on them if they snuck into the village another time. 

Sneaking out of Honeydukes was a lot more difficult this time. The shop was crowded with students, and it was impossible for three of them together to squeeze through under cover of the cloak, so they were forced to make the trip in pairs. James and Sirius went first and then Sirius returned, first taking Peter out and then Remus. The whole process took ten minutes of their allotted hour. And they assumed the return trip would be just as difficult. So they only had forty minutes in which to shop.

Once they were finally all out on the street, they hurried to the apothecary. Peter had split the ingredients they needed to purchase between them in a way that wouldn’t raise eyebrows, and James went in first to buy dragon’s blood and Chinese chomping cabbage, two ingredients in the third-year healing potion. He returned after a few minutes clutching a bag.

‘No problem. Didn’t even look at me funny,’ he said with a grin, bouncing on his toes.

‘Excellent, I’ll go next,’ Sirius said, taking the money pouch from James. ‘What am I buying?’ 

‘Horned slugs and snake fangs,’ Peter told him. ‘They’re both ingredients in the cure for boils, which we’ll brew in third-year.’

Sirius nodded and entered the shop. They waited in tense silence, knowing if the shopkeeper thought anything funny was going on he had an obligation to report it.

Sirius returned a few minutes later, holding his own bag and grinning. ‘He seems pretty stressed out with so many customers. I don’t think he’s taking much notice of what people buy.’

‘That’s a relief. The pearl dust might draw some attention. It’s only really used in advanced potions,’ Peter said, before turning to Remus. ‘Remus, you’re buying lionfish spines and billywig wings for a wide-eye potion. It’s a second-year potion, so if he asks, you’re failing and doing extra credit work.’

Remus nodded. ‘Shouldn’t be hard to pretend I’m bad at potions.’

Sirius chuckled and handed him the money pouch. ‘Not to worry, everyone’s bad at something.’

Remus walked into the bright and airy apothecary and meandered up and down the aisles looking for the ingredients he’d been tasked with purchasing. He found the lionfish spines easily, but the billywig wings were a little harder to locate. The shop was busy, and he had to wind his way through other shoppers. It was nerve-wracking, but he’d been prepared for it and was wearing the hood and gloves the other Marauders had bought for him.

A few minutes later, he spotted the billywig wings and grabbed a jar off the shelf, before joining the back of the queue at the counter. His hands were shaking, and he knew he needed to calm down or risk drawing unwanted attention to himself. He closed his eyes and took several deep and slow breaths to settle his nerves. Someone joined the queue behind him, and his heart rate sped up. He was sandwiched between two strangers, and that was a dangerous place for him to be.

The queue moved forward as someone left and the person in front of Remus moved up to the counter. Just a few more minutes. His internal struggle to stay calm in that enclosed space highlighted for him just how much he had come to trust his friends. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt nervous around them. They’d never used his “phobia” against him, not even teasingly. Rather, they went out of their way to make sure he was safe and comfortable at all times. And it wasn’t just him that allowances were made for, which might have made him feel uncomfortable about it. Everything was taken in stride with them: Remus’ fear of touch, Sirius’ fear of storms, Peter’s difficulty with History and Defence, and his occasional bouts of anxiety, and James’ forgetfulness. Each Marauder had their issues, and the group supported them in any way they could. Remus was beginning to wonder if that complete acceptance might even extend to his lycanthropy. Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be too much for his extraordinary friends.

Remus was drawn from his thoughts when the person ahead of him moved away from the counter. He stepped forward and placed his items on the desk. The shop-assistant looked at them and then at him.

‘These ingredients aren’t used in third-year,’ he said. 

Remus swallowed and shuffled his feet. ‘I’m failing Potions and doing extra-credit work. Professor Slughorn wants me to have another go at the wide-eye potion,’ he said.

To Remus’ relief, the man nodded and put the ingredients into a bag for him. ‘That’s 1 Galleon, 11 Sickles, 6 Knuts.’

Remus handed the money over and left, trying his best not to walk too fast and arouse suspicion. He stepped out into the cold street and let out a relieved breath.

‘He questioned me, but seemed to believe the extra-credit story,’ he told his friends as he handed the money pouch to Peter. ‘Good luck, mate.’

‘I’m going to need it. Pearl dust is used in amortentia,’ Peter said.

‘What’s that?’ James asked.

‘Super powerful love potion,’ Peter said.

James whistled. ‘What are you going to tell him?’

‘I need it for a cleaning solution. Problem is we won’t make that until fourth-year, and I’m clearly not a fourth year,’ Peter said, waving his hand up and down to indicate himself and the inherent lack of fourth-year-ness. ‘Why don’t you guys head to Zonko’s so you’re out of the way if he gets suspicious? We don’t want to lose all the ingredients.’

Remus nodded. ‘I think that’s a good idea. If he thinks Pete’s up to something he might come outside to check for accomplices.’

Remus, Sirius and James said goodbye to Peter and strolled down the street towards Zonko’s. Peter joined them ten minutes later, having sufficiently convinced the shop-keeper he was a third-year taking advanced classes in Potions by displaying his knowledge of the subject.

They stocked up on joke shop products but didn’t have time to visit the pub before they headed back to school. Someone would have to return another day to replenish their butterbeer stash.

After returning to the school and completing the convoluted dance of getting everything up the stone slide, they dumped their purchases in their dorm, dashed down to the Great Hall to grab some food and hurried back up to classroom 12c for their lesson.

There were fewer people present that week, a lot of the first-years having been told it wasn’t safe for them to learn second-year spells yet, and the room was a little less crowded. They spent an hour learning to cast the shield charm _protego_ and then were told to split into pairs to try _stupefy_ , the stunning charm. Remus paired with Peter because Sirius and James had a tendency to start being silly once they got the hang of something, and he thought Pete could use someone who was taking it seriously as a partner.

They took it in turns to cast stupefy at each other while the other practised protego. Every now and then, someone would drop to the floor having failed to get their shield charm up in time, and the Chiefs in disguise or one of their upper-year helpers would stroll over to revive them.

By the time the lesson was over, they all had a good grasp of the shield charm, and even Peter was able to cast stupefy every two out of three attempts. They had two more lessons before the Creature Hunt, but they planned to get in a lot more practice than that.

Two days later, Remus took his seat next to Lily in Defence. He had chosen to continue sitting with her in that class rather than joining the Marauders because it didn’t feel right to desert her when she’d been so kind to him during those first few horrible days at school.

‘Hey, did you finish the matagot essay?’ she asked when he’d finished getting his things out for the lesson.

‘Yeah, why?’ 

‘I couldn’t remember all the ways to tell the difference between a matagot and a cat. I got the short whiskers and the lighter pads on their feet, but I think there was one more?’

Remus smiled. ‘Their tongues aren’t rough.’

Lily smacked her hand on the table. ‘That’s it! Thank you,’ she said, already pulling out her essay to add the information.

‘No problem,’ Remus said. ‘I’ve not seen you all weekend. How are things with Petunia?’

Lily groaned. ‘I’m pretty sure she’s not answering my letters anymore. It’s been three weeks.’

Remus wanted to offer her comfort, but he didn’t feel comfortable touching her and he didn’t even have his gloves. ‘I’m sorry, Lily. That must be really hard for you.’

Lily nodded and offered him a sad smile. ‘We were so close when we were little. Nothing could separate us, but now…’

‘She’s rejected you for something that’s beyond your control,’ Remus finished for her. He thought about his dad. Yes, he knew exactly what it felt like to be rejected by someone you love for something you couldn’t change. It was soul-destroying.

Lily let out a half-suppressed sob and then sniffed and wiped her eyes with the end of her sleeve. ‘I just don’t know what I can say to convince her I’m still the same person, you know?’

Remus nodded. ‘I don’t know if there is anything you can say, Lils. All you can do is hope she sees it for herself.’

Lily slumped in her seat. ‘You’re probably right.’ She offered him a watery smile. ‘Thanks for listening. How are things with you?’

Remus shrugged. ‘Can’t complain.’

‘Really?’ Lily asked, raising an eyebrow. ‘I heard your “friends” roped you into annoying McGonagall two weeks ago and earned you four weeks of detention.’

Remus tried valiantly to suppress his grin. That had been so much fun. ‘Well, yeah. That happened. I don’t mind though.’

‘You put up with far too much from them,’ Lily said, shaking her head.

Remus glanced over to where his friends were sitting and caught Sirius’ eye. The other boy winked at him, and Remus smiled back before turning back to Lily. ‘They’re worth it.’

Lily gazed at him with narrowed eyes. ‘If you say so.’

The Defence lesson turned out to be about merpeople, and Remus listened to the lecture with interest. They needed merpeople scales for the potion and the lesson might include some information that could help them in that quest.

‘Merpeople are often xenophobic and antisocial towards outsiders, mostly because they have been poorly treated by wizards in the past,’ Professor Hawthorne said, pacing back and forth across the raised stage area as he lectured. ‘Like many sentient magical beings, they’ve been hunted mercilessly, both for potion ingredients and for sport.’

There were gasps around the classroom.

Professor Hawthorne nodded, his expression grim. ‘I’m glad to see most of you are horrified by that. Merpeople are a highly intelligent species, and to treat them as though they are less than humans is a grave insult. They have their own culture, language and beliefs. Mermish is an interesting language. The innate magic of the merpeople causes their voices to sound different below the water than above it. When above the water their language sounds like animalistic noises to the human ear, which goes some way to explain why they were believed to be non-sentient by humankind for so long. Under the water in their natural habitat, however, their magic translates their language to whichever language the listener speaks. It is quite remarkable.’

So if they wanted to communicate with the merpeople in the Great Lake they would need to go underwater. He shivered. The water would be freezing at that time of year. No doubt Sirius would volunteer for the task. Reckless endangerment of life was his forte.

‘Mermish culture relies heavily on music and trade,’ Professor Hawthorne continued. ‘It’s considered good manners to present a gift when making a request of a merperson, and the gift should represent the value of the request. If the merperson feels the offering to not be valuable enough, they may take it as an insult against them and become hostile, so one should take great care when choosing an offering.’

James raised his hand.

‘Yes, Mister Potter?’

‘What sort of things are valuable to merpeople? I assume it’s not the same things humans value.’

Professor Hawthorne smiled. ‘Are you planning on making a request of the locals?’

Chuckles sounded throughout the classroom, and James joined in with the laughter. ‘Of course not, sir,’ he lied. ‘I’m just interested.’

‘Hmm,’ Professor Hawthorne hummed, looking unconvinced. ‘Well, in the interests of safety. Merpeople value music above most anything else. They also value many things that cannot be found under the water, but only if it still functions underwater.’

James nodded and made a show of writing it down. ‘Makes sense.’

After the lesson was over, Remus joined his friends for an early dinner before they congregated in the dorm room to make plans.

‘I don’t see how any of us can swim down to where the merpeople live,’ Remus said. ‘I don’t know of any spell that can make us breathe underwater.’

‘Maybe we can lure one up to the surface with music,’ Peter said. ‘Do you know any waterproofing spells?’

‘No, but maybe we can buy a wireless that’s already got waterproofing?’ Remus said.

‘We need something to trade for the scales too,’ Sirius said. ‘Something they’ll view as incredibly valuable. We really don’t want to offend them. I mean, we’re asking for a part of their body.’

James nodded. ‘That is going to take some careful thought.’

‘Let’s make a trip to Hogsmeade tomorrow afternoon,’ Sirius said. ‘Dervish and Banges might have something.’

‘Good idea. Tonight, I believe we have some destruction to cause,’ James said with a wicked grin.

Remus and his three friends snuck out of the dorm at midnight. It was going to be exhausting hitting all four common rooms in one night, but it seemed like the best method. Monday night was the quietest night for common room use, with everyone worn-out from the weekend, and if they only did one a night there was more chance of being caught.

They decided to tackle Hufflepuff first; it being the furthest from their own, and Remus and Sirius led the way to the barrel entrance. They weren’t planning on putting much effort into the task. The purpose was to make a mess that would satisfy Peeves, not impress the students with fancy displays of magic. So they went around the common room, casting diffindo on the soft furnishings to rip them open before spreading the stuffing around as much as possible. It only took a few minutes to thoroughly destroy the room, but they’d done it in such a way that it would be easy enough to clean up. They had nothing against the Hufflepuffs.

Since they were already in the dungeon, they attacked the Slytherins next. Peter had spent an hour hanging around the entrance to find out the password earlier that day, and they slipped inside, moving as silently as they could. Remus noted with relief that the common room was empty, and they spread out, making short work of the furniture and soft furnishings. As an added bonus, especially for the Slytherins, they set off several dungbombs on their way out.

Ravenclaw was the hardest of the four. They had no way to make sure they could gain access ahead of time. The riddle changed as soon as someone solved it. Remus took the lead and knocked causing the voice to ring out. 

‘What is both desired and feared but never arrives?’

Remus turned around to face the others and shrugged. ‘Any ideas?’

James frowned. ‘What's the point in being scared of something that’s never going to happen?’

‘I think that’s the point,’ Peter said. ‘It does happen, but we call it something else.’

‘Of course!’ Sirius said. ‘Like the future becomes the present.’

‘Or tomorrow becomes today,’ Remus said.

‘So which is it?’ James asked. ‘The future? Or tomorrow?’

‘It probably doesn’t matter,’ Remus said. ‘They both work.’ He turned to the door and crossed his fingers. Gods, he hoped he was right. ‘The future.’

‘That is correct,’ the door knocker said, and the door swung open.

They made quick work of ransacking the Ravenclaw common room and left as soon as they could. Time was getting on, and they wanted to get at least a little sleep before they had to get up and go to class. When they reached their own tower, they quickly shred the furnishings on their way through, before climbing the stairs to their dorm. Remus flopped down on his bed fully clothed and fell asleep almost immediately.

The next morning, Remus was the first to wake thanks to Cosmo. It was still early, and he climbed out of bed before pulling back the curtains on his friend’s beds and calling their names to wake them. They thanked him with groans, but when he reminded them that they needed to find Peeves and report their success before the destruction was cleaned up, they changed their tunes.

They searched for an hour before they found the poltergeist bouncing around the trophy room.

‘Good morning, good sir,’ Sirius greeted him with a bow. ‘We’re here to report our success. All four common rooms have been thoroughly ransacked.’

Peeves stopped bouncing and swooped down to hover in front of them, cackling madly. ‘You four firsties are naughtier than I thought,’ he said. ‘I didn’t think you’d be able to do it. But a deal’s a deal. How much ectoplasm do you want?’

Peter pulled a vial from his bag and handed it to Peeves. ‘If you could fill that up?’

‘Come back here after your first lesson and old Peevsy will have it ready for you.’

‘Thank you, Peeves. I hope we can collaborate with you again in the future,’ Sirius said.


	30. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I'm afraid this chapter is still unbeta'd, but it's been two weeks since I posted, and I just couldn't make you wait any longer. I will replace this with the beta'd version as soon as I have it. 
> 
> Now Beta’d!

Wednesday, 26th January 1972

_Remus ran through the dense woodland, moving so fast the trees were nothing but a grey blur on either side of him. There was a pleasant feeling of comfort and belonging around him, and he knew his friend was near, though he couldn’t see him. He dodged trees and jumped fallen logs with ease, landing on his front legs and leaping forward again as his back legs touched down. The rushing air in his fur felt amazing, and he relished the freedom. He skidded to a halt and scented the air. There was water nearby. Panting, he turned towards it and threw his head back in a howl, a signal to his pack-mate to follow him. The scents of wood smoke, soap and vanilla surrounded him. Together, they padded over to the nearby river. He still couldn’t see him, but the feel of his presence and his scent told him he was there. When he reached the water's edge, he bent his head down, and the wolf stared back at him from the surface of the lake—_

Remus jerked awake and sat up, breathing hard. He put his hand on his chest. His heart was hammering against his ribcage as if trying to escape his body. What the hell was that? Dreams of the wolf were usually horrifying nightmares, blurry images of blood and gore. Violent and full of rage. That was different. It hadn’t seemed nightmarish at all. Despite the hammering of his heart, he felt content. It had been a happy dream. Sirius had been there. Had he been a wolf too? He couldn’t remember. The images were getting blurry, slipping from his mind like wisps of smoke.

‘Remus? You awake?’ Peter asked from the room hidden on the other side of his drawn bed-curtains.

Remus jumped a little and coughed to clear his throat. ‘Yeah, just woke up. Are the others back yet?’ he asked, pulling back the curtains.

‘No. I just checked the common room; I hope they haven’t been caught.’

‘Unlikely, they took the cloak, and they have a snitch-o-scope. They’d have to be utterly careless to mess up.’

Peter nodded. ‘But it is James and Sirius.’

‘True,’ Remus said, laughing. ‘But I think it’s still too soon to worry. Knowing them, they’re in the pub.’

‘I hope they find something good enough for the merpeople. What if we start a war?’ Peter’s eyes widened, and he gasped. ‘What if we insult them so badly they kill us!’

Peter’s face had paled, and his breath came in harsh pants, far too fast. Bugger.

‘Alright, calm down, Pete. Take a deep breath.’ Remus wasn’t sure what to do. Normally Sirius or James was there to help Peter calm down when he got too anxious. They’d rub his back and hold his hands, helping him to slow his breathing down, but Remus couldn’t do any of that. He was useless. There was only one thing he was able to do that might help. It was worth a shot.

‘Pete? Can you sit down?’ 

Peter nodded and lowered himself to the floor, still gasping. He was breathing far too quickly. Remus needed to get him to calm down before he passed out.

‘Alright, I want you to close your eyes,’ he said. Peter obeyed. ‘Concentrate on my voice and do what I say, okay?’

Peter nodded.

‘Picture in your mind somewhere that you feel safe,’ Remus said, hoping with his entire being that it would work. ‘Make it look as real as you can.’

Peter clenched his eyes tighter and curled his hands into fists. His face took on a slight reddish tint, and his breathing slowed a little. He nodded and Remus took this as his cue to continue.

‘Go inside and find a room with a door.’ Remus waited for Peter to nod again before continuing. It took a couple of minutes, but Peter’s breathing was getting slower with every breath. Thank Merlin, it seemed to be working. ‘Picture your worries as an object and put it in the room. Shut the door and lock it.’

Peter was much calmer. His breathing had slowed right down, and his skin was back to its normal colour. ‘When you’re ready, leave your safe place and come back to the dorm.’

Remus waited a few minutes, and Peter opened his eyes.

‘Better?’ he asked.

Peter nodded. ‘Loads. What was that?’

‘ _That_ was a crash course in meditation,’ Remus said, rubbing his hand over his face in relief. ‘I’m just glad it worked. I couldn’t do any of the things James and Sirius do to help you.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Peter said, looking down at his hands. ‘I don’t know why I get like that. It’s embarrassing.’

Remus moved to sit down next to him. ‘Don’t be embarrassed, you can’t help it. Like I can’t help being scared of touching people. You wouldn’t want me to be embarrassed about needing you guys to protect me when we go somewhere crowded, would you?’

Peter jerked his head up to look at him. ‘No! Of course not. We don’t mind helping you.’

‘Exactly, Pete. That’s how we all feel about helping you.’

Peter blinked twice and looked back at his hands. ‘Yeah, but at least you contribute something to the group. I’m useless. I did nothing to help with the Christmas display. I just hold you back because you have to help me so much.’

‘That was one event. You helped loads with the Halloween display. None of us could have worked out how to alter the animation potion to only work on the bats.’

Peter glanced up. ‘Really?’ 

Remus nodded. ‘Really. But even if you contributed nothing at all to our Marauder mischief, we’d still want you around. You’re a fantastic friend.’

Peter sniffed and wiped at his eyes, and Remus looked away, pretending not to notice. He didn’t want Peter to be even more embarrassed.

‘Thanks, Remus.’

‘No problem.’ Now would be a good time to change the subject and talk about something more pleasant to take Peter’s mind off the panic attack. Remus groped around for a new topic. ‘You haven’t said much about your family. I know your mum’s a witch, and you have a bunch of muggle relatives. Is your dad a muggle?’

Peter laughed without humour. ‘You couldn’t have picked a worse subject change,’ he said. ‘Yeah, he’s a muggle. I don’t talk about him because he’s in prison.’

Remus put his face in his hands. ‘Gods, I’m sorry.’

‘No, it’s okay. You didn’t know. I told James, but…’ Peter trailed off and sighed.

‘It’s alright, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Peter said. ‘It’s not you. It’s just really personal and—’

‘Pete. Stop. You don’t have to apologise, I get it. I’m not upset that you don’t want to tell me all your secrets. Even the Marauders Code says you don’t have to. I doubt any of us have told each other everything.’

Peter looked up. ‘You have secrets?’

He hesitated. Did he really want to confirm that he definitely had a secret? It seemed unfair not to, though, after he’d forced Peter into a corner like that. ‘Yeah, I have secrets.’

Peter nodded. ‘Okay, that makes me feel better about keeping mine. I expect I’ll tell you guys at some point. I’m just not ready yet.’

‘Same,’ Remus lied.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius’s trip into Hogsmeade with James was a partial success. They found a cheap wizarding wireless, but it wasn’t waterproof. They’d bought it anyway in the hope Remus could find a spell to make it usable underwater. But if he couldn’t, they’d just keep it for themselves. It would make a nice addition to their dorm room entertainment. They had found nothing suitable to trade for the scales, though. Nothing seemed good enough, and it was so important to get it right.

The rest of the week had gone by in sheer boredom. There was one single bright spot in the form of Defence on Friday morning when Professor Hawthorne lectured on the mooncalf. Sirius wouldn’t have found it interesting at all except the Spectral Essence potion called for grass danced on by a mooncalf. He’d perked up to pay attention, but his mood soon soured when he learnt that mooncalves only dance on a full moon. That meant there would be two full moons where he’d be delayed getting to Moony.

By the time classes ended on Friday, Sirius could tell Remus was hurting. He did a superb job of hiding it, and if Sirius hadn’t been looking for it, he doubted he would have noticed anything was wrong. But he was looking for it, and he did notice. The full moon was Sunday night, and they had the Creature Hunt duelling lesson on Saturday afternoon. Remus would have a tough job keeping his symptoms hidden if Sirius didn’t help him somehow. But what could he do?

Sirius racked his brain, but he still hadn’t thought of anything by the time they finished lunch on Saturday. Remus was moving slower and talking less. James seemed oblivious, but Peter kept glancing at him with a look of concern. He would just have to wing it and step in if it became necessary to divert their attention.

They arrived at classroom 12c to find they were learning Flipendo first. They were each given a goblet to practise on, and they spread out throughout the room. The Marauders stayed close together in one corner, and Sirius made sure he was next to Remus, who had the wall on the other side of him. He was casually leaning against it as he flicked his wand at his goblet and muttered the incantation. 

Sirius got the hang of the spell quickly and looked around to see how his friends were doing. Peter was struggling, and James could cast it, but it wasn’t strong enough to knock over the goblet, only make it wobble a little. Remus hadn’t cast it once. He wasn’t putting in any effort, just going through the motions, and Peter kept glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. It was time for a patented Sirius distraction.

‘James,’ he shouted. James turned to look at him. ‘Think I need a moving target. You up for it?’

James grinned. ‘Do you even have to ask? Give it your best shot.’ He moved to face Sirius and took a defensive stance with his feet shoulder-width apart and his wand held at the ready.

Sirius didn’t hesitate. ‘Flipendo,’ he yelled, pointing his wand at James.

James slashed his wand through the air. ‘Protego!’

The silver, semi-transparent shield swept to life in front of James and neatly deflected the blue light from Sirius’ jinx. But James couldn’t hold the shield in place for long, and a few seconds later, it dissipated. Sirius took immediate advantage.

‘Flipendo!’ 

James dodged to the side.

‘Flipendo!’

James ducked. ‘Watch the face, mate!’

Sirius laughed and aimed for his head again. ‘Flipendo!’

‘Protego!’

Once again the shield deflected Sirius’ spell. Most of the room was watching them by that point. He could see Remus leant up against the wall out of the corner of his eye. Good, he was getting a break, and no one was taking any notice. His distraction was working.

Sirius waited until James’ shield flickered before targeting his chest and casting the jinx again. 

‘Flipendo!’

He’d timed it perfectly. James’ shield flickered out at the exact moment his spell reached it, hitting James square in the chest and knocking him on his ass with a heavy thump. The watching crowd cheered and James laughed.

‘Nice one, mate,’ he said. Sirius strolled over and offered him a hand to help him to his feet. James brushed himself off and smirked. ‘My turn.’

It took James a little longer to get through Sirius’ defences, but he struck him on his eighth attempt, causing him to stumble backwards but not quite knocking him over. Their competition had spawned several other matches throughout the room, and small groups were cheering on the competitors. Remus went entirely ignored. 

Sirius continued to keep James and Peter distracted for the rest of the session, and by the time it was over, Remus had rested enough to make it back upstairs to the dorm without collapsing.

They left Remus sleeping the next morning when they went down to breakfast. When they returned, bringing a sausage sandwich back for him, he was up, dressed, and clutching a bulging rucksack.

‘My mum’s ill again. I have to go home for a couple of days,’ he said, not looking any of them in the eye.

Sirius handed him the sandwich. ‘I’m sorry, mate. Tell her to get well soon from us, yeah?’ That was obviously code for, “Good luck, I hope you don’t get hurt during the full moon tonight.” Because that’s what he would have said if he could.

‘I will. Thanks for this,’ Remus said, holding up the sandwich. ‘I’m sorry I can’t help with the leaping toadstools tonight.’

‘Don’t worry about that,’ James said. ‘It won’t take four of us anyway.’

Remus nodded and looked at Sirius. ‘Will you feed Cosmo for me while I’m gone?’

‘You’re not going to take her with you?’ Sirius asked, hoping the question would make Remus consider the idea.

Remus shook his head. ‘No. I’m using the Headmaster’s floo. I don’t think she’d like it.’

After Remus left, they piled onto James’ bed to make plans for raiding the greenhouse.

‘The recipe says we have to collect them under a full moon. But does that mean it has to be dark, or just that the moon has to be in the sky?’ James asked no one in particular. It seemed more like he was thinking aloud. ‘Sometimes the moon rises before the sun sets.’

Peter shook his head. ‘No, it doesn’t have to be dark.’

‘What time is moonrise. Do either of you know?’ James asked. ‘If it’s early, we’ll be able to get to bed at a reasonable time so we’re not exhausted tomorrow.’

Moonrise was at 4:56 pm, but Sirius couldn’t say that. The others would think it weird for him to know the exact time off the top of his head. ‘I think it’s pretty early. I remember seeing it mid-afternoon a few days ago.’

‘Let’s check after dinner,’ James said. ‘I’d like to get it done early if we can.’

Sirius nodded. That was fine with him. The earlier he could get James and Peter off to sleep and sneak out to the tunnel to see Moony, the better. ‘Sure, sounds good to me.’

‘Me too, I’ve got homework to get done for tomorrow,’ Peter said.

‘You should do that now,’ James said. ‘If something goes wrong tonight, we don’t want you getting detention for something as silly as incomplete homework. Come on, we’ll help you.’

They spent the day helping Peter get through his homework, explaining things to him he was struggling to understand and patiently correcting his wand movements and pronunciation when he was practising his Charms. By four o’clock, he was up to date and had a better understanding of several concepts that had been giving him trouble.

As they descended the Grand Staircase for dinner, Sirius’ mind drifted to Remus. The moon was rising, and he knew Remus must be in unbearable pain, and he was all alone. And there was nothing he could do about it. He hated being so useless. Not being able to help was unacceptable. There must be something he could do. But the only thing the books had said that was useful was about animal companionship, and he’d already bought Remus a cat. The stubborn boy refused to take it with him, though. Sirius could only guess at his reasons, but he was sure they were courageously noble and stupidly self-sacrificing. Remus hadn’t been sorted into Gryffindor at random.

Once they were sufficiently fed, they went outside and spotted the moon just above the treeline, perfectly round and glowing with a silvery light. Sirius scowled at it. Knowing what it did to Remus had made it lose its charm. They strolled to the greenhouses, attempting to look innocent, as if they were merely out for an evening walk to enjoy the winter sunshine. If any teachers were watching, Sirius was sure they were far from fooled. 

They were all disappointed to find Professor Sprout inside the very greenhouse they needed, but none more so than Sirius. Every second’s delay meant more chance of Remus being hurt that month, and he wanted to get to the Willow passage as soon as possible. Sprout didn’t seem to be in any hurry to leave, though. She was pottering around, pruning the odd plant and watering others.

‘Guess we better find somewhere to wait,’ James said.

Sirius and Peter nodded, and James glanced around. ‘Those bushes look good. Thick enough to hide us, and we’ll have a perfect view of the door.’

It was approaching eleven pm when Sprout finally showed signs of preparing to leave, and Sirius was becoming edgier by the second. Moony would have been alone for six hours and when he thought about what that might mean for Remus he got a sick twinge in his stomach and a heavy feeling of dread. He pushed it from his mind as Sprout moved towards the door. The sooner they had the toadstools, the sooner he would get to Moony, so he needed a clear head.

They waited until Professor Sprout had moved out of sight before they tugged on the invisibility cloak and snuck into the greenhouse. They quickly located the mushrooms. Several trays of the little red and white fungus were laid out along one counter in the middle of the room.

‘So we just have to stun them, and then we can harvest them, right?’ James asked, looking at Peter. 

Peter nodded. ‘The book says to freeze them, but we haven’t learned that spell yet. I think a stunner will do the same job.’

Sirius quirked an eyebrow. He didn’t sound very sure about it. ‘You think?’

‘Well, I can’t be sure,’ Peter said, shrugging. ‘But it seems like it should work the same.’

Sirius looked at James. 

James shrugged and raised his wand, pointing it at the nearest tray of mushrooms. ‘Stupefy.’

The red light of the stunning spell shot from the end and hit one of the mushrooms near the middle of the tray. The red fungus froze in place, but the rest of the tray shot into the air and leapt away, quickly vanishing into the depths of the greenhouse.

‘Bollocks!’ Sirius yelled, making a grab for the toadstools as they passed him and managing to wrap his fist around one. It wriggled in his hand for a moment before going still, and he shoved it into his pocket.

‘Harvest the frozen one, Pete,’ James said. ‘We’ll try to grab some of the escapees.’

Sirius spent the next half an hour with James, launching themselves around the greenhouse in pursuit of the leaping toadstools. By the time they had caught another eight of the energetic fungus, they were panting from the exertion. 

‘I am going straight to bed when we get back,’ James said. ‘Why did the full moon have to be a Sunday? We’re going to be knackered tomorrow.’

Sirius chuckled. ‘You sound like an old woman, mate.’

‘Nothing wrong with taking care of yourself,’ James said, looking out of the window to check the coast was clear. ‘No one’s about. Let’s go.’

They hurried out of the door and flung the cloak over themselves for the trip back to the tower. The journey went without incident, though the Fat Lady shot them a disapproving look when they gave her the password.

Sirius waited impatiently for James and Peter to fall asleep, while trying very hard not to succumb himself. It was more than half an hour before he heard Pete’s snores and James’ deep, regular breaths, and he couldn’t keep from muttering, ‘Finally,’ under his breath as he climbed out of bed and grabbed the cloak from James’ trunk.

He reached the Whomping Willow in record time and sped his way down the tunnel. Halfway there, the sound of pained howls reached him coming through the trapdoor. The noise encouraged him to move even faster. Remus was hurt.

‘Moony?’ he called when he spotted the ladder. ‘I’m here. It’s okay. I’m sorry I’m late.’

Moony responded with a weak bark and a whimper, causing a shiver to run down Sirius’ spine. The wolf’s injuries must be bad, but at least he could keep it from getting worse. Sirius moved to stand below the trapdoor and heard the wolf’s paws thud softly towards him, followed by a thump as he lay down.

There were still a little over seven hours until the moon would set, and Sirius had no intention of leaving until he saw Remus was okay, so he settled himself on the floor of the tunnel and spoke into the darkness. He told the wolf all about his lessons at school, his life at home and the marauder mischief he got up to with his friends. When he ran out of interesting topics to talk about, he moved on to reciting everything he could remember from History of Magic class, which admittedly wasn’t a lot. The entire time he was talking, Moony was quiet, but whenever he paused to think, the wolf would whimper and whine until he started speaking again. He paused frequently, just to confirm that Remus was still alive.

Sirius kept a close eye on the time, and when moonset was approaching, he pulled the cloak over himself and retreated to the back wall of the tunnel to keep out of Madam Pomfrey’s way when she came to fetch Remus. He knew staying to see how he was would make him late for Herbology, but there was no way he could go to class without seeing him first. James and Peter would want to know where he had been, but he already had a plan for that.

Madam Pomfrey arrived at 8:30 and unlocked the trapdoor. Sirius watched as she climbed up the ladder and strained his ears with growing trepidation for any sound that might give him a clue. When she gasped and cursed the name of Salazar, his heart beat wildly in his chest.

He moved closer to the trapdoor and craned his neck, trying to catch a glimpse of Remus, but all he could see was the ceiling. The smooth wood was marred with specks of red, and he tried not to think about how the blood had been spattered so high. He was forced to jump back when he heard an odd whooshing sound coming down the tunnel, and he turned his head to see three potion bottles speeding towards him. As they rocketed up through the trapdoor, he recognised the distinct ruby-red of the blood replenishing potion and gulped. Remus must be in dreadful shape for Pomfrey to decide the potions couldn’t wait until they got back to the school.

When he caught his first sight of him as Madam Pomfrey lowered his stretcher through the opening, he almost cried out in horror. He could barely see his friend beneath the blood and gore that covered his body, and the smell was more than he could stomach. He held it together until Pomfrey had hurried down the tunnel out of sight, and then he emptied the meagre contents of his stomach onto the floor. 

There was nothing he could do for Remus. He was in expert hands, and if he missed class, it would draw unwanted attention. His only option was to go to Herbology and attempt to act normal for James and Peter. He would try to get to the hospital wing later to check-up on him. On his way out, he grabbed a slither of bark from the trunk of the Whomping Willow. It would make an excellent excuse for his absence that morning. 

-o-o-o-o-

Pain.

Sharp, burning, throbbing pain.

Remus struggled to open his eyes. The light was dim with the curtains drawn across the window, so he couldn’t tell what time it was. But it must be early, judging by how much his body still hurt. He hadn’t had a moon so bad since coming to Hogwarts. His desire to know just how bad it was fought with his reluctance to cause himself further pain. He tried to lift his head, but the ache in his spine intensified at the slight movement, and he quickly stopped. Hopefully, Madam Pomfrey would be in soon to check on him. 

He could tell his injuries were numerous. The weight and heat of bandages covered him from his chest down to his ankles. And the itching beneath them told him his wounds were still healing. He let his eyes drift closed. Keeping them open was sapping what little energy he had. With nothing to do but lie there and wait, he attempted to meditate to pass the time, but the pain and the itching proved too distracting and he gave up. Instead, he stared at the swirling colours on the back of his eyelids and wished he could be someone else. _Anyone_ else.

An indeterminable amount of time later, Madam Pomfrey entered the small concealed room, and Remus opened his eyes so she would know he was awake.

‘Hello, love. How are you feeling?’

‘Bad,’ he croaked. His throat was raw, and he couldn’t bear to say anything more.

Madam Pomfrey nodded, conjured a chair and sat down next to his bed. A wave of dread rippled through him. She didn’t normally sit down.

‘Remus, when I came to get you this morning—’ she paused and swallowed ‘—you were very close to death,’ she finished gently.

Remus moved his head in a small nod to show he had heard. Talking hurt too much to give a verbal response, and he didn’t know what to say, anyway. How was one supposed to react to being told they almost died? 

Madam Pomfrey seemed satisfied by his acknowledgement because she continued to explain. ‘Your wounds were severe, and you were losing blood so fast that your body couldn’t keep up. I had to summon blood replenishing potion or you wouldn’t have survived the journey back here.’ 

Remus gave her another tiny nod. He probably seemed way too calm at the news of his narrow escape from death, but inside, he was screaming. His life was hard and painful. Full of unimaginable horror. But it was still _his_ life, and he wanted to keep it. Especially now. He had friends. A place where he belonged. Why was the wolf so angry? Did the Beast object to his happiness? 

‘Do you have any idea why the wolf might have been so aggressive last night?’ Madam Pomfrey asked him.

Remus shook his head and winced as a searing-hot poker speared his brain.

‘You weren’t agitated? Worried about anything? You didn’t have any arguments with your friends recently?’

Remus thought hard but there was nothing so he shook his head again, much slower that time, trying to avoid causing himself more pain.

‘Okay,’ she sighed, sounding frustrated. ‘I think we should avoid getting any human smell inside the house as much as we can. I want you to leave your belongings here in future. And when you get to the house, undress and drop your clothes through the trapdoor before you lock it. I’ll collect them in the morning. I don’t know what else we can do.’

Remus nodded again. Madam Pomfrey gave him a sad look before composing herself.

‘Try to get some rest,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry I can’t do anything for the pain. If only someone would invent a pain potion that worked on Lycanthropes.’

Remus didn’t want Madam Pomfrey to feel bad about not being able to help him more. She was so kind to him and did everything possible to make him comfortable and take care of him. And quite honestly, he adored her.

‘It’s okay,’ he whispered, ignoring the red hot pain lancing through his throat with every word. ‘I’m used to it.’

Oddly, that didn’t seem to reassure her much. She nodded and told him she’d check on him again in half an hour, and Remus swore he saw tears in her eyes as she turned away.

He drifted in and out of sleep for several hours, and each time his consciousness broke the surface, his pain was a little less. By morning, he could sit up, and Madam Pomfrey brought him his chocolate-flavoured nutrition potion. He drank it down eagerly, enjoying the way the thick, cold liquid quenched the blazing fire in his throat. 

Madam Pomfrey cast her diagnostic spells while he was drinking and smiled approvingly at the results.

‘You’re looking much better this morning, dear,’ she said, vanishing his bandages from under his gown before tucking her wand back into its holster, which was nowhere near as fancy as his. ‘I’d like to keep you here until lunchtime, just to be sure, but then you can return to your dorm and rest there. No lessons until tomorrow, though. Understand?’

Remus scratched at his newly exposed skin with relief and nodded. ‘I don’t have any lessons on Tuesday afternoons anyway.’

‘Good. You won’t be tempted to disobey me then.’ 

She took the empty goblet and left. Remus wasted no time in grabbing his bag, which Madam Pomfrey had left in reach of his bed, and retrieved his Marauders’ crest from inside. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he looked at the now-familiar pendant and ran his thumb over the engraving. It had been five weeks since Sirius had given it to him, but time had yet to diminish the joy it brought him. Knowing that his friends all wore identical symbols made him feel that he belonged in a way he’d never experienced before, and it felt wrong to not be wearing it. He fastened the necklace around his neck, fiddling with the clasp for a minute before managing to latch it securely and tucking the silver shield inside his hospital gown where the cold metal rested against his chest, slowly warming from his body heat.

Madam Pomfrey released him at lunchtime, as promised, and he made the long journey up to Gryffindor tower on shaky legs. He was nowhere near fully healed, but Madam Pomfrey knew as well as he did that longer absences were likely to draw more attention his way. His health and his education required a careful balancing act to keep both out of danger. 

When he reached the tower he found the common room quiet, with most of the students down in the Great Hall having lunch, and the dorm empty. So he climbed onto his bed and pulled out his Potions and Defence textbooks to complete his homework assignments.

His fellow Marauders arrived back at the room twenty minutes later.

‘Oh, Remus! You’re back,’ James said, coming to a sudden stop after barrelling into the room. ‘How’s your mum?’

‘Much better, thank you,’ Remus said, feeling a twinge of guilt at the lie. Sirius was looking him up and down from behind James, and Peter gave him a welcoming smile. 

‘What do you guys want to do this afternoon?’ James asked. ‘We still need to find somewhere to brew the potion. You want to do some searching?’

Peter nodded. ‘Sure.’

Sirius frowned and glanced at Remus before walking over to his own bed. ‘I’ve got a bunch of homework to do. Sorry, mate.’

James shrugged, unconcerned. ‘Remus?’

‘I’m really tired. Didn’t get much sleep at home. I’d rather just stay in the dorm this afternoon.’

‘Fine,’ James said without malice. ‘Come on, Pete. Let’s leave these boring wankers to their schoolwork.’

Peter scurried after James out of the door, and Remus glanced at Sirius. He was lounging on his bed, legs outstretched in front of him and holding a textbook which he was pretending to read. Remus knew he was pretending because his eyes weren’t moving. What he really wanted was for Sirius to sit on his bed with him. Close enough for Remus to smell his scent. It was disgusting that he wanted it, but he pushed away his shame. Sirius’ scent helped with the pain of his aching bones and sore joints for some reason when nothing else did, and he wasn’t going to turn his nose up at a source of pain relief just because it was a bit weird. But how to get him to come over?

‘Sirius?’ he said, his tone questioning. ‘Can you help me with this essay on mistletoe berries?’ They all knew he was pants at Potions, and while it wasn’t the theory that gave him difficulty, it was the best excuse he could come up with.

Sirius looked up from pretending to read and smiled. ‘Sure.’ He rose from his bed with a grace Remus could never achieve and sauntered over. ‘Budge up.’

Remus shuffled over to the edge to make room, and Sirius flopped down next to him, causing the mattress to bounce and startling Cosmo who was curled up at the end, a little black ball of fluff.

‘Oops. Sorry, Cosmo,’ Sirius said, leaning forward to scratch her behind the ears. Cosmo purred happily, nuzzling Sirius’ hand, and Remus felt a twinge of jealousy. Which was stupid. It was just a cat for Merlin’s sake. Sirius didn’t have a limited supply of smell.

Sirius sat back and looked at Remus. ‘What do you need help with?’

They worked on their homework together for a couple of hours before putting their books away and attempting to build a house of cards using two decks of exploding snap cards. It was going well, and they were on their seventh level when James and Peter burst through the doors, blowing the cards over and causing several small explosions.

‘James!’ Sirius said.

‘Crap, sorry,’ James said, not looking sorry at all.

By Saturday morning, Remus was recovered and was able to join the other Marauders in their dawn raid on Slughorn’s supply cabinet. They needed to get the common ingredients for the Spectral Essence potion. The cabinet was located inside the Potions classroom, and they weren’t expecting it to be too difficult to access. They dodged Filch and his blasted cat on their way down, manoeuvred past the Slytherin prefect patrolling the dungeon level, and arrived outside the Potions classroom without a hitch. The whole process was made more difficult by Remus’ inability to hide beneath the cloak and he felt awful about it, but Sirius assured him that the added risk made it more fun, and if they used the cloak all the time life would be too easy. Remus knew he was saying it to make him feel better. But he appreciated it nonetheless.

The classroom was laughably easy to enter. The door wasn’t even locked. After closing it behind themselves, they glanced at each other warily.

‘Seems too easy,’ Sirius said. 

Remus nodded. ‘I was thinking the same thing.’

James inched his way over to the cabinet and peered at it with suspicion. ‘You reckon it’s warded?’

‘It’s possible,’ Remus said, following James to the other side of the room. He held his hands up and moved them close to the cabinet, so they were almost, but not quite, touching. Hovering just in front of the surface. Energy reached out to him from the cabinet, and his own magic reached out to meet it. He closed his eyes, and the sensation crackled up his arms, making all his hairs stand on end.

‘Do you sense anything?’ James asked.

Remus pulled his hands away, opened his eyes and nodded. ‘There’s definitely magic in the cabinet, but I don’t know what it's supposed to do.’

Sirius and Peter had joined them while his eyes were closed, and Sirius was examining the cabinet. 

‘I’ve seen these runes before,’ he said, pointing at the markings along the top of the cabinet door. ‘It’s an alarm. My father uses them to keep us away from the dangerous books in the Black library.’

‘And you know how to disable it,’ James said. ‘Right?’ 

Sirius grinned. ‘Naturally.’

He pulled out his wand and placed the tip against one of the runes, closed his eyes and began muttering under his breath. A minute later, he opened them again and winked at Remus. ‘All done. You want to check?’

Remus repeated the process from earlier but felt nothing from the cabinet. Sirius had done it. He was impressed. 

‘Seems to be all clear,’ he said.

‘That was a lot easier to do with my own wand. My parent’s wands always fought against me,’ Sirius said.

Peter stepped forward and pulled the door of the cabinet open. They all waited, motionless and holding their breaths for several seconds. But nothing happened, and they breathed out, relieved.

The Marauders never did anything without a thorough plan in place, and this raid was no different. Before venturing from the tower, they had memorised the ingredients they needed and split them up between the four of them. So as soon as they were sure it was safe, they began grabbing what they needed. Remus spotted the mistletoe berries first and plucked the jar from the top shelf, decanting eight of the fattest, juiciest looking of the selection into one of the three vials in his pockets, before putting it back. A chunk of ginger root was next. He didn’t need a container for that, just shoved it in his pocket while continuing to scan the shelves for dried nettle leaves and horseradish paste.

With the task so efficiently organised, they were done in a few minutes and on their way back to the tower, feeling victorious and unstoppable. James held the snitch-o-scope out in front of him, and with the red and orange lights to guide them, they dodged Filch and the patrolling prefects with ease. 

They stayed up for another hour, the thrill of their success making them too excited to sleep, before Peter yawned. The act was contagious, and they were soon all yawning in turn. A few minutes later, James insisted they all went to bed.


	31. Chapter 30

Saturday, 5th February 1972

The next afternoon Sirius and his friends were heading to their last duelling lesson to prepare for the creature hunt the following weekend. After raiding Slughorn's potion supplies during the night, they had all slept in, but Remus had slept the longest. When Sirius woke at half-past nine, he had to pull Cosmo off of Remus' bed, where she was pawing at his chest while Remus slept on, oblivious.

Their ingredient collecting was going exceptionally well. They only had six items left to find. Though, admittedly, they were the hardest ones. They'd still found nothing that seemed valuable enough to risk offering to the merpeople in return for their scales, and if they couldn't find any signs of mooncalves in the Forbidden Forest during the creature hunt, then he wasn't sure what they would do.

'Woah. Awesome!' James said as they entered classroom 12c.

Sirius had to agree. The Chiefs had transformed the classroom into an arena. There was a small ring in the middle with seating arranged around the outside and magical barriers separating the two areas.

'Looks like they're going to make us duel,' Remus said. He sounded nervous.

'With everyone watching?' Peter asked. 'Oh, Gods. I'm going to make a complete idiot of myself.'

'Don't be daft, Pete,' James said. 'You've been doing fine in our practices.'

'Yeah, but that's just with you guys. I get nervous when other people are around.'

'Just pretend you're in the dorm with us,' Remus whispered as they took seats in the audience. 'Ignore everyone else.'

Sirius nodded. 'You even beat James last night. You're going to do great.'

Peter grinned at that and Sirius didn't blame him. It had been a stunning victory. Distracting James by throwing a pair of Sirius' dirty pants at him had been inspired. Whatever James said about underhanded tricks.

When everyone had arrived, the Chiefs—in their usual disguises—marched into the centre of the ring, and silence fell over the audience.

'Today you will be tested,' Chief number 1 said. 'If you fail, we will not allow you to take part in the Super Secret Creature Hunt.'

A few first years in the audience yelled out in annoyance at the announcement, but they stopped when Chief number 2 held up his hand.

'There has not been a serious injury during the Creature Hunt since we took over the Hogwarts games, and we will not be breaking that streak this year,' he said, glaring at the hecklers. 'If you can't prove you're able to defend yourself from the creatures that live in the Forest, then you can't take part. End of.'

Chief number 1 nodded his agreement. 'You will each enter the ring and prepare to defend yourselves. You will battle five "creatures" in total, and you must defeat them all to pass. The audience is forbidden from shouting instructions, but encouragement is allowed. If the creatures touch you, you lose.'

The room filled with whispers as the watching students muttered to each other.

'Do you think he means actual creatures?' Peter whispered, his voice tense with anxiety.

'I doubt it,' Remus said. 'They're probably just illusions.'

Peter nodded and wiped his hands on his knees. Poor kid. He needed to develop some confidence. If only Sirius could show him he wasn't as useless as he thought he was.

The Chiefs had left the ring and were standing on a raised platform overlooking the enchanted arena. They called in the seventh years to compete first. It seemed to Sirius that they only did so to give the younger students a chance to witness what they were up against because each of them made short work of the "creatures." It was obvious to everyone watching that they would all pass.

Remus had been right about their opponents being an illusion. The creatures were formed from smoke, and they dissipated the moment a spell made contact with them. It shouldn't be too difficult to pass the test.

All the fourth, fifth and sixth years passed the test as easily as the sevenths. It wasn't until the third years started fighting that things got interesting. Sirius had been wrong about the creatures dissipating the moment a spell made contact. It had just seemed that way because the older students knew what they were doing. With the less experienced fighters in the ring, he could see that the creatures only disappeared when the right spell was used, in the right place and at the right time. He leant forward in his seat to get a better look.

The girl in the ring was fighting her last creature. Unluckily for her, it was an acromantula formed from acid green smoke. It looked menacing, and judging by the way she was shaking, she was terrified of eight-legged beasties. She fired a stunner at the creature's head, but it just glanced off, and the spider continued its creepy scuttle towards her.

Come on. Sirius willed her to get herself together. He had no idea who she was, but he wanted her to fight through her fear and win.

'Come on, Alice! Remember your Defence!'

Sirius glanced towards the source of the shout and saw Frank Longbottom standing up in the audience opposite. He looked back down, and Alice had squared her shoulders. She nodded at Frank and raised her wand. But she didn't attack. She waited as the giant spider approached. Nothing but a slight shiver in her shoulders betraying her fear. Sirius was impressed with how quickly she had gotten herself under control, and he was rooting for her.

The spider was mere inches away from her when it reared up to attack. Alice didn't waste a second. She slashed her wand through the air and screamed the incantation out with such venom it sounded like a curse.

'Incendio!'

A burst of flame the size of a hippogriff erupted from the end of her wand—no doubt fuelled by her fear and loathing. It engulfed the acromantula's abdomen, so only its legs could be seen. And a moment later they vanished too as the smoke curled in on itself and was smothered by the fire. The crowd jumped to its feet as one, and the sound of their cheers was deafening. Alice only had eyes for Frank, though. She blushed as she stared at him, and he smiled back at her shyly.

Sirius suddenly felt as though he was intruding on something private and looked away, turning his attention to James.

'We have to use the right spell to defeat the creature,' he said. 'What if we get a creature we don't have a defence for yet? None of us can cast incendio.'

'I was thinking the same thing. They must have thought of that, right? They'll only give us creatures we can fight.'

Peter leant over from the other side of James. 'They can't control what we meet in the forest, though. And this test is supposed to make sure we can survive in there.'

Sirius worried his lip with his teeth. 'What would we do if we met an acromantula?'

'Diffindo, obviously. Slashing spells work just as well as fire,' Remus said.

Sirius turned around to look at him. He was sitting back in his seat with his legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles, the picture of relaxation. He didn't seem worried in the slightest.

'How do you even know that?' Sirius asked. 'You missed the lesson on acromantulas.'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'I missed the lesson, but I still did the reading. It's in the textbook.' He sat up and put his elbows on his knees, leaning towards them. 'I don't know what you're all so worried about. You're excellent fighters, and I bet we've practised more than anyone else here.'

James perked up and ran his hand through his hair, messing it up rather than smoothing it down. 'You're right. We're brilliant. This is going to be a breeze.'

Sirius tried to feel as confident as James looked, but he was still nervous. Only a few people had lost their matches, but it seemed embarrassing. None of them had stayed to watch the rest of the tests. He would be mortified if he messed up in front of all these people. And the Chiefs were watching too. If any of the Marauders failed would they rescind their offer? James would hate him if they lost the legacy because of him. It was so much pressure. He was used to pressure, of course. Being the heir to the House of Black came with a lot. But this was different. This was pressure from someone he cared about disappointing.

He glanced over at Peter. Teeth worrying his lip, fists clenched in his lap, spine as straight as a wand. Yes, Peter was feeling it too. He took comfort in knowing he wasn't alone.

When the last second-year lost on their third creature, Sirius' wait was over. They were calling up the year groups in alphabetical order by surname. And he was first. He gulped when they called his name, and as he always did at times where he wanted to appear confident when he was anything but, he slipped into his arrogant pureblood persona and stood. With his chin in the air, he marched with perfect grace down to the opening and entered the ring.

Taking a defensive stance, he raised his wand and waited for his first opponent to appear. He knew it would be something easy. The first one always was. So he kept his gaze lowered as he scanned the arena. If it was something small, he didn't want to miss it because he was looking too far up.

He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and spun to his right. A doxy, formed from orange smoke, hovered near the edge of the ring. Easy to take out. A simple knock-back jinx would do the trick, but they were fast. He would need to fire from close range so it didn't have time to dodge the spell. Sirius and the doxy eyed each other for a moment before the hairy, winged creature leant forward and soared towards him through the air. The urge to defend himself was strong, but Sirius held his ground and waited. If he fired too soon, the doxy would dodge his spell and be on him before he could attack again. There was no way he was going to lose in the first round.

He waited until the last possible moment. Until he could see the tiny, sharp teeth inside the creature's manic grin. And then he cast.

'Flipendo!'

His spell was strong, and the powerful blast spun the doxy through the air, somersaulting it back towards the edge of the ring. The smoke that formed its body dissipated as it whirled away, and by the time it reached the magical barrier, it was gone. The crowd clapped politely, and Sirius grinned, feeling much more confident in his abilities after such a successful first round.

Sirius didn't get long to revel in his victory over the doxy. His next opponent appeared seconds after the first vanished and wasted no time in running straight at him, screeching a litany of rude slurs against his name as it approached. A jarvey. Similar in looks to an overgrown ferret. They had sharp teeth and a nasty bite, but no defence.

Sirius jabbed his wand at the creature. 'Stupefy!'

It stopped dead and rolled to his feet before vanishing. What had he been so worried about? James had been right, this was a breeze. He scanned the ring for his next opponent, not wanting to be caught off guard. A cloud of pale yellow smoke appeared on the other side of the circle, coalescing into the form of a horse, no, a centaur. Shit.

Sirius eyed the bow in the centaur's hands nervously. If he attacked, the creature would fire that bow at lightning speed, and he wouldn't stand a chance. He wouldn't be able to dodge the arrow, and he didn't think he could get a shield up fast enough to deflect it either. But this test was about surviving the creature hunt, and that didn't necessarily mean fighting, did it? If he met a centaur in the Forbidden Forest, what would he do? He wouldn't attempt to fight it, that's for sure. It would be suicide. But if this didn't work, he was going to look like a complete prat. No one else had done anything but fight their opponents, but several had lost after trying to fight something that could potentially be reasoned with. It was worth a shot.

Sirius lowered his wand. 'Good afternoon, noble centaur,' he called, his voice loud, clear and confident. 'My apologies for wandering into your territory, I meant no harm.'

To Sirius' relief, the centaur also lowered his weapon. His plan was working. When it spoke, its voice was airy and whimsical, exactly what you might expect smoke to sound like. 'Your apology is accepted, young human. If you leave at once, you will not come to any harm from us.'

Sirius bowed low, showing the proper respect. And, hoping to Merlin he wouldn't regret it, he turned his back and took several steps away from the centaur. When the crowd started cheering, he knew he'd made the right choice and turned back around in time to see the yellow smoke disappearing into non-existence.

Sirius chanced a glance to where his fellow Marauders were sitting and saw that all three were on their feet clapping and cheering him, and he grinned back at them, but quickly returned his attention to the arena and his fourth opponent. A purple hippogriff that was pawing the ground with one leg.

Sirius gulped. A hippogriff would destroy him. But how would he handle a real one? He bowed, staying bent over as he waited for the creature to react. He peeked out between the curtains of his hair that had fallen on either side of his face. Waiting. Waiting. Finally, the hippogriff bent its knees and bowed back to him, and Sirius stood up. That seemed to be enough to count as a defeat because the smoke disappeared. There was only one round left.

Sirius' knees almost buckled from beneath him when his last opponent took form. He had to crane his neck back to see its head as it towered over him. An enormous, bright red, fire-breathing dragon. What the fuck? There weren't any dragons in the Forbidden Forest.

How the hell was he supposed to fight a _dragon_? There was no specialist knowledge that would help him there, and they weren't intelligent enough to reason with. And, again, there weren't any dragons in the Forbidden Forest anyway! Was that the point? Were the Chiefs using the arena as an opportunity to further test the Marauders? It seemed strange that he'd been given three undefeatable opponents when no one else had.

He took a chance. Visualising the dragon choking on its own flame, he waved his wand and screamed, 'Riddikulus!'

The dragon doubled over, made a horrible, wrenching choking sound and collapsed in a smoky heap. The crowd burst out laughing and the dragon disappeared. He'd been right. The dragon was a boggart. Not technically his worst fear, but getting an opponent he couldn't defeat had been a concern at the time.

He took a cocky bow to the audience before returning to his friends, and their back-slaps and congratulations.

'When you lowered your wand against the centaur, I nearly had a heart attack,' James said.

'Well done with the hippogriff,' Remus said. 'At first, I thought you were going to try to fight it.'

'How did you know the dragon was a boggart?' Peter asked.

Sirius basked in their praise, enjoying every minute of it. But he made sure to return the favour when first Remus, and then Peter and James, were each called up and successfully defeated their own five creatures. They all received "trick" opponents similar to his, but no one else did. By the end, he was convinced it was another test, and he expressed as much to the others on the way back to Gryffindor Tower.

'We'll have to be on the look-out for more surprise tests,' Remus said when Sirius finished explaining his theory. 'If they've done it once, they might do it again.'

Peter rubbed his arms, and his eyes darted around nervously. 'I don't like it. What if they're watching us all the time?'

Sirius put his arm around Peter's shoulders and squeezed. 'Don't worry, we'll look out for you. You did great today.'

'I did, didn't I?' Peter said, smiling.

'Chocolate hearts,' Remus said to the Fat Lady when they reached the portrait.

Sirius climbed through first and checked the noticeboard while he waited for the others.

'We're fighting next weekend,' he said when James emerged.

'Brilliant, it's about time,' James said, bouncing on his toes at the news.

Remus came through next and joined them. 'What's got you all excited?'

'It's our turn to fight in the sand-wars next Saturday.'

'Oh good, we'll get a last bit of practice in before the Creature Hunt.'

'What's that?' Peter asked, coming to stand with them.

'Sand-wars, next Saturday. We're up,' James said.

'Hope we don't get too much homework on Friday,' Peter said. 'We're going to have a busy weekend.'

-o-o-o-o-

Tuesday, 8th February

Three days after the Creature Hunt test, Remus was exploring the fourth floor with his fellow Marauders. They were mostly looking for somewhere safe to brew the Spectral Essence but continuing their detailed log of the castle's secrets at the same time. The fourth floor was proving difficult to search because almost the entire floor was taken up by Hogwarts' vast library, and the librarian was not keen on noise. They were keeping out of her way as much as possible, but she kept tracking them down and shushing them. Remus was worried that if they annoyed her too much they'd get banned from the library, and he really didn't want that to happen.

They had reached a secluded corridor between two sections of the library and were searching along it. Well, some of them were searching. Sirius had become distracted by a mirror hanging on the wall halfway down. He kept leaning forward to polish it and then stepping back again.

'Don't you get enough of looking at yourself when you do your hair in the morning?' Remus asked, walking over to join him.

Sirius turned his head to look at him. 'How could anyone get tired of looking at this?' he asked with an arched eyebrow. 'But there's something weird about this mirror. Look.'

Remus turned to face the glass. He tended to avoid mirrors as a rule. Lycanthropy had ravaged his body, and he didn't like seeing it. Being reminded of it. And standing next to Sirius while looking in the mirror was even worse. He was beautiful, with his perfect skin, silky hair and silver eyes. And Remus was… well. He was not.

He kept his eyes on Sirius' reflection, avoiding his own, and crossed his arms. The mirror was huge. It took up almost the entire space between the floor and the ceiling, and it was wider than it was high. But there was nothing strange about it that Remus could see. It was just a plain piece of glass. It didn't even have a frame. 'What's weird about it? Looks normal to me.'

As he spoke, the entire surface of the mirror fogged over. Okay, so that was kind of strange.

'See,' Sirius said, waving his hand at the mirror. 'It keeps doing that.'

Remus used his sleeve to wipe the mist away. 'That is odd.'

Sirius was staring at Remus' reflection with a frown. Remus bristled. He knew he wasn't much to look at, but there was no need to scowl about it.

'What's even odder,' Sirius said, 'is your eyes look like mine in the mirror.'

Remus glanced at his own reflection for the first time. Sirius was right. His eyes were silver, just like Sirius'. 'Freaky,' he said. 'I look weird.'

'Yeah, I like your gold eyes better,' Sirius said. He turned away and shouted to the others. 'Hey, James! Pete! Get over here!'

Gold? His eyes were a very light brown, but they certainly weren't gold. Maybe Sirius was colour blind or something.

James and Peter walked over and stood in front of the mirror with them.

'What is it?' James asked.

Remus looked at James' and Peter's reflections. Their eyes were both silver. 'It's doing it to them too,' Remus said. His speech caused the mirror to mist over again.

Sirius nodded, frowning. 'Do you think it's connected to how easily it gets fogged up somehow?'

James stamped his foot. 'For the love of Gryffindor, will one of you tell me what's going on?'

Sirius laughed. 'Sorry, James.' He cleaned the mist from the mirror and pointed. 'It makes everyone's eyes turn the same colour as mine.'

The mirror immediately fogged over again when Sirius spoke, so James wiped it before examining his reflection. 'Freaky,' he said. 'Were you the first to look in it?'

Sirius nodded. 'You think that matters?'

James shrugged. 'Who knows? Let's test it.'

They all moved away from the mirror, and then James went and stood in front of it alone.

'No, still grey,' he said.

'So it's just a coincidence that it's my eye colour,' Sirius said, walking to stand next to James.

'Looks like it,' James said. 'But why does it fog up so easily?'

Peter leaned forward and drew a smiley face on the glass. The face stayed for a moment, and then the mist covering the glass vanished.

'Huh,' James said. The glass fogged over again.

'Maybe we have to write the password on the glass,' Remus said. 'And the eye colour is the clue.'

Sirius leant forward and wrote _grey_ on the mirror. The mist disappeared just as it had with the smiley face, but nothing else happened.

'Maybe that wasn't specific enough,' James said. The mirror had misted up again when he spoke, so he leant forward and wrote _light grey_. Again, nothing happened.

Remus rolled his eyes. Why did everyone think Sirius' eyes were grey? Grey was boring, and Sirius' eyes weren't boring. They shone and sparkled, and they were made up of so many different shades.

'Let me try,' he said to make the mirror fog up again. He leant forward and wrote _silver_ with his finger. The mist vanished and then, starting in the centre of the mirror, the glass melted away revealing a wide passageway behind it.

'Yes!' James said. 'Well done, mate.' Without pausing to discuss it, he marched inside and Peter scurried after him.

Sirius quirked an eyebrow at Remus. 'So, my eyes are silver, are they?' he asked before following the others inside without waiting for a response. Remus felt his face heating up. Why did Sirius get to him so much?

It was the widest secret passage they had found so far. So wide that they could walk comfortably side by side and still not be able to touch the walls. Once all four of them were inside, the mirror sealed itself behind them, but they could still see the library corridor on the other side. From the passageway, the mirror acted as a window. That would be useful for sneaking back out.

The Marauders lit their wands and chatted and joked as they walked for over half an hour. The route twisted and turned but stayed flat the entire way, and the walls and floor of the passageway started out as stone-brick, but ten minutes into the journey, the brick gave way to earth and, later still, to solid rock. The earth floor was packed and smooth, as if the weight of hundreds of feet had traversed it, but the rock was jagged and hard to walk on without stumbling. They had to slow right down to make sure no one got hurt.

It was all worth it when they reached the end. The darkness ahead of them widened, and they stepped out into an enormous cave.

'Woah!' James said.

'That about sums it up,' Remus said, staring up at the far-off ceiling with awe.

Sirius grinned at them. 'I think we've found it, boys. This is perfect.'

James clapped his hands together. 'I agree. But it's up to our safety monitor. Remus? What do you think? Is it suitable?'

Remus nodded slowly. 'I think so. Stone isn't flammable, so we won't be able to start a fire. There's plenty of room, and it's quite far from the school, so if something goes wrong we'll only blow ourselves up—'

Peter snorted. 'It's great that you have so much faith in me, Remus.'

Remus laughed. 'I was thinking more of these two idiots,' he said, jerking his thumb at James and Sirius who were shoving at each other as he spoke.

'Hey!' they both yelled in unison.

Remus ignored them and turned back to Peter. 'I'm a bit worried about how uneven the ground is. Will you be able to set-up a cauldron?'

'I don't know,' Peter said, rubbing his chin. 'We might have to smooth it out a bit, or the cauldron could topple over halfway through brewing, and we barely have enough time as it is.'

Sirius stopped play-fighting with James and perked up. 'We can do that,' he said. 'Right, James? Defodio should work.'

James pulled his wand from its holster and grinned. 'Sounds fun.'

The four boys set to work smoothing out a large square area in the centre of the cave to install the cauldron. When they were done, Remus stood up straight and rubbed his lower back. 'We're going to need light and a table for preparing ingredients, too.'

'The house-elf storage rooms will probably have what we need,' James said.

Remus frowned. 'I don't like the idea of stealing from the elves.'

'Not stealing,' James said. 'We'll just ask them. They love us.'

Sirius nodded. 'It's because of my painting.'

'Course it is,' Peter said, laughing from where he was sitting on the floor. 'But talking of house-elves. I'm starving. It must be nearly dinner time?'

James checked his watch. 'Shit, it's almost five o'clock.'

Peter leapt to his feet. 'We'll miss dinner completely if we don't hurry.'

Remus didn't think he'd ever seen Peter put as much energy into anything before as he did into getting back to the school in time for dinner.

They spoke with the house-elves the following afternoon and Teely was happy to give them a table and some candles. She agreed to bring them to the fourth-floor corridor early on Saturday morning. It was the safest time; the risk of anyone else being in that part of the castle to see them was low.

After Teely dropped the items off, they took them a little way down the passage to hide them before going to breakfast.

'How soon do you think we can start?' Remus asked while piling bacon on to his plate.

James gave him a disapproving frown and pushed an apple across the table towards him before he answered. 'The silver cauldron should arrive any day now. We still need a few ingredients, but we should have most of them by the end of the month, as long as we find something suitable for the merpeople. We can't get the thestral tail hair until the Easter holidays, but we won't need it until the end, anyway.'

'So we can start at the beginning of March then?' Remus asked, picking up the apple and rolling his eyes at James before taking a bite.

'Unless Pete wants to go home for Easter?' James said, raising his eyebrows at Peter in question.

Peter swallowed his mouthful of sausages and shook his head. 'No. If we don't start until April, we might not get it done in time. I already told Mum I want to stay here for Easter to revise for the exams.'

'Good man,' Sirius said. 'We better make sure you get good marks to back up your story.'

Peter smiled. 'Yes, please.'

After breakfast, they took their supplies down to the cave and set out the ingredients they'd already collected.

'What about if we need to sleep down here?' Sirius asked. 'It's not going to be very comfortable.'

'I think even the house-elves would get suspicious if we asked for beds,' Remus said.

'We'll figure something out,' James said, unconcerned. 'Right now, I think we should get some last-minute practise in before our matches this afternoon.'

They spent the rest of the morning practising all the spells they knew from class that were useful, the spells they'd learned at the Creature Hunt lessons, and a few Remus had looked up once they knew how strong their cores were. By lunchtime, they all felt as ready as they could be. Even Peter was expressing confidence.

For their first match, the Magical-Mischief-Makers were up against three other teams of first years. Two of the teams were mixed gender, and they weren't people that usually spent time together. They must have joined out of necessity because they needed a team and the lack of trust would work against them. The fourth team, though, was all girls. Lily Evans, and her best friends, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes and Mary MacDonald. They were going to be a problem. A group possibly as close as the Marauders made up of skilled witches, and James could not be trusted to keep his head around Lily.

They'd decided James and Sirius would be attacking while Remus and Peter defended, and as they walked to their sandcastle, Remus took the opportunity to whisper to Sirius. 'Focus on Lily's team if you can. I think James might ignore them.'

Sirius nodded and entered the lower level behind James. Remus and Peter made their way upstairs, where they would have a better view of oncoming spells to defend their castle.

The prefects were watching from a raised seating area just beyond the battle zone, and they stood to start the match. 'Raise your wands.'

The competitors obeyed. Remus eyed the attackers through the openings on the lower level of the other three castles. They looked nervous. He smiled.

'Three. Two, One. Let the battle commence,' the prefect yelled.

Spells began flying back and forth immediately. Lily was an attacker for her team, and she shot Remus an apologetic look before firing a transfigured projectile at his castle. He deflected it easily and smirked at her. She smirked right back at him before firing a barrage of spells at different parts of their fortress. Remus had to work quickly to shield against them all, but they had practised hard, and he ignored the ones directed at Peter's half of the castle, trusting his friend to do his job and protect them.

A number of spells flew towards Lily's castle from his own. Either James was ignoring his interest in the girl for the sake of his team, or Sirius was focusing on them to make up for James ignoring them. Either way it was working, and Lily's castle was gradually descending towards the ground. The other two teams were even farther along. They were a mess. A complete breakdown of trust in their teammates meant that the attackers were defending, and the defenders were attacking. A few minutes into the match and only Remus' and Lily's teams remained.

Sirius' voice drifted up from below. 'I don't care if you fancy her, James. It's a game!'

Remus chuckled and shook his head. But the number of spells shooting out from the lower floor doubled. Sirius had obviously gotten through to James.

The battle continued in earnest. No one was holding back anymore, and both castles were steadily declining in structural integrity. Remus was preparing himself to fall through the floor at any moment. They had planned for it, and both he and Peter moved themselves to the edges—trusting that Sirius and James had moved to the middle to give them a clear landing—continuing to cast shields and deflection spells the entire time.

Twin jets of light shot from the lower level of Remus' castle and sliced through the air, hitting the upper floor of Lily's and sending Marlene and Mary through the floor. Lily disappeared from view for a moment. Her team must not have planned for it. They had been unprepared, and Marlene had landed on Lily. James and Sirius lost no time in taking advantage of the opposing team's loss of defenders and an attacker. They shot a barrage of spells at the four corners of Lily's castle, rapidly bringing the flags down to ground level and turning them white.

'The Magical-Mischief-Makers win!' the prefect shouted, just as the floor finally gave way. Remus and Peter fell the few feet to ground level, landing neatly beside Sirius and James on their feet without so much as a wobble. It was one of the things they had practised in preparation.

'Hey, guys. You wanted to celebrate with us?' Sirius asked with a grin.

James waved a greeting before dashing over to Lily's castle to help her out of the heap of sand that was all that remained. Lily ignored his hand and pulled herself to her feet before helping her teammates, and James returned looking crestfallen.

'I just don't get why she doesn't like me,' he said.

'Never mind, mate. You've got plenty of time to win her around,' Sirius said.

They watched the next three matches between second-year teams and third-year teams with interest, taking notes on their tactics and which spells they favoured. And when they were called up for their second match to fight the winners, they wiped the floor with them. Next month, they would be up against the upper-year winners. They were going to have to practise hard if they wanted to beat them.

Remus and his friends returned to their dorm to celebrate their victory with butterbeer, and on the way there, they saw a notice for the Valentine's Day dance on Monday evening.

'We have to do something,' James said, his eyes shining with mischief. 'Spike the punch maybe?'

Sirius pulled out four bottles of butterbeer from their stash and handed them out. 'With what? Rosmerta might not snitch on us for sneaking out of school, but I doubt she'd sell us alcohol.'

James grinned. 'I was thinking more along the lines of spiking it with a potion.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. 
> 
> I'm sorry to say that updates are likely going to slow down for a while as I've just started back at uni and won't have as much time to write. But I will do my best to write as much as I can. Thanks for all your wonderful support, it's very much appreciated :)


	32. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, sorry it's been so long. Enjoy the Creature Hunt :)

Sunday, 13th February 1972

‘Don’t worry, Pete,’ Remus said as they descended the stairs to classroom 12c. ‘We’re going to be fine.’

James draped his arm around Peter’s shoulders. ‘Yeah, you did great in the test last week.’

‘But that was just pretend. I knew I couldn’t be hurt,’ Peter whispered. ‘This is real. What if I freeze up and get eaten?’ He shuddered. ‘What if we run into the acromantula?’

Sirius chuckled. ‘I doubt there’s really an acromantula in the Forest. It’s just a rumour. But if we did, we’d fight it, obviously.’

‘We won’t leave you, Pete. Friends don’t abandon each other to save themselves,’ Remus said.

James nodded. ‘Especially us. We’re the Marauders.’

‘Okay,’ Peter said, smiling a little. ‘I trust you guys.’

‘So you should,’ James said with a firm nod as they arrived outside the classroom. ‘We’re a team. The Marauders are forever.’

James really seemed to believe that. He truly considered their friendship to be indestructible, but Remus wasn’t so sure. Right now, they were all caught up in their own lives, but that wouldn’t last. Eventually, they would start to take notice of his frequent absences. And when that happened, it wouldn’t be long until they spotted the pattern. Would the revelation that there was a monster in their midst be the thing that finally tore them apart? He couldn’t keep it from them forever. 

It would be painful to lose them. Maybe even more painful than his monthly torture. Physical pain was something he was used to, the lycanthropy didn’t allow him not to be, but the emotional pain of loss was different. It was so infrequent in his life. He’d been young when his dad first rejected him, and it felt like it had always been that way. It still stung, but it wasn’t excruciating. Losing the Marauders, though. That would be unbearable.

He fiddled with his necklace, the symbol of their friendship, as he followed the others inside. The room had been returned to normal, no sign of the arena remained, and there were roughly thirty groups of competitors waiting to begin. They ranged from first-year to seventh, but a few that had attended the practice lessons weren’t present. Either they had chickened out at the last minute, or they never intended to take part in the first place, merely taking advantage of the extra tuition. Fifteen of the oldest students were milling about up on the stage. Possibly there to escort them down to the Forest. Remus was interested in finding out how they planned to get them all there without being spotted.

‘The competition looks tough,’ Sirius said. Remus followed his gaze to a team of Gryffindor seventh years on the other side of the room. They were tall and muscled, and they looked beyond confident.

‘They might be bigger than us and know more spells,’ Remus said. ‘But we’re here to spot things, not fight them. When they go stomping through the Forest, they’ll scare everything away.’

‘Actually, we’re here to talk to the centaurs, and find a mooncalf den,’ James said. He ran his hand through his hair, messing it up. ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the competition is secondary.’

Sirius frowned at James. ‘Secondary?’ he hissed. ‘It’s a competition, James! Fame and glory, etcetera…’

‘I know,’ James said, keeping his voice low so they wouldn’t be overheard. ‘Believe me, I know. But the potion is more important.’

Sirius sighed. ‘I guess.’

‘You never know, we might find what we need and still win the competition,’ Remus said. ‘I mean, we are brilliant.’

James and Sirius visibly perked up at his words, and he chuckled internally. They were so easy to cheer up sometimes. All it took was a little poke to their egos.

‘Yeah, we are,’ James said, pumping his fist in the air.

‘Attention, hunters!’

The shout drew the attention of everyone in the room to the stage. Standing in the centre, wearing muggle hunting outfits, the Chiefs of Raucous Revelry were patiently waiting for everyone to stop talking.

‘Welcome to the 347th Hogwarts Annual Super Secret Creature Hunt. We hope you all got plenty of sleep last night because you’re going to need your wits about you if you want to survive the Hunt,’ Chief number one said.

‘And we hope you had a decent breakfast because you’ll be expending a lot of energy today,’ Chief number two added with a laugh.

‘Running, screaming, fighting for your life. Really takes it out of you,’ Chief number one said, nodding.

Peter was shaking with fear next to him. Remus coughed quietly, and Sirius glanced his way. He nodded to Peter, and Sirius frowned before putting his hand on Peter’s back. Leaning close, he whispered to him, and Peter relaxed, smiling up at Sirius in thanks.

‘Over the next hour, you’ll be escorted down to your team’s starting point by our volunteers,’ Chief number two said, waving his hand to indicate the seventh-years on the stage. ‘Once there, you’ll be given a list of creatures. The list is enchanted. It will know if you tick something that you haven’t seen, and you will be disqualified for cheating. So be sure you saw what you think you saw before you tick.’

Chief number one nodded his agreement. ‘The competition starts at ten o’clock. Do not leave your designated starting point until that time, or again, you will be disqualified.’

The volunteers started calling out team names and disillusioning the students for the trip into the Forest. They seemed to be doing it in reverse age order, taking the older students down first, and the Marauders were one of the last teams to leave. The seventh-year that called for the Magical-Mischief-Makers introduced herself as Lisa, and she disillusioned them before leading them downstairs, across the grounds and a short way into the Forest.

‘You have ten minutes until you can start,’ she said, handing a scroll to James. ‘Don’t leave this area before then. The Hunt ends at four, and the Chiefs will be setting off fireworks, so if you’re not sure which way the castle is, keep a lookout for them.’

Remus and his friends all nodded and thanked her. Lisa waved goodbye and wished them luck before disappearing through the trees, leaving them alone.

James held up the parchment. ‘Do you think we’re allowed to open this before ten?’

Sirius shrugged. ‘No one said we couldn’t.’

James broke the seal, unrolled the scroll and held it out in front of him so everyone could see.

**Hogwarts Annual Super Secret Creature Hunt**

_ Don’t tick them off unless you’re sure! _

**_XX Creatures - Easy - 1 point each_ **

_ Augery _

_ Bowtruckle _

_ Clabbert _

_ Fairy _

_ Grindylow _

_ Imp _

_ Jobberknoll _

_ Mooncalf _

_ Porlock _

**_XXX Creatures - Medium - 2 Points each_ **

_ Bundimun _

_ Doxy _

_ Dugbog _

_ Hippogriff _

_ Jarvey _

_ Knarl _

_ Kneazle _

_ Moke _

_ Niffler _

**_XXXX Creatures - Hard - 5 Points each_ **

_ Centaur _

_ Phoenix _

_ Thestral _

_ Forest troll _

_ Unicorn _

**_XXXXX Creatures - Dangerous - 10 Points each_ **

_ Acromantula _

_ Werewolf _

_ All creatures on the list are confirmed as present in the Forbidden Forest. _

_ Good luck! _

‘Guys,’ Peter said, looking up from the parchment and sounding nervous. ‘This says there’s definitely an acromantula in here.’

Sirius put an arm around Peter’s shoulders and squeezed. ‘Don’t worry, mate. We’ll protect you.’

Despite his bravado, Remus detected a hint of anxiety behind Sirius’ facade. It was present in the creases at the corners of his eyes and the slight twitch of his fingers as he gazed into the shadows between the trees. Was it the acromantula that worried him, or something else? The forest trolls, perhaps, or the hippogriffs. Remus himself was quite concerned by the last creature on the list. There would indeed be a werewolf in the Forbidden Forest that day, but how did the Chiefs know?

‘You alright there, Remus?’ Sirius’ voice broke through his panic. ‘You should probably get your wand out.’

Remus blinked and looked around. His friends were holding their wands in a defensive stance, eyes flicking between him and the surrounding trees.

‘Sorry. Got lost in my head for a minute,’ Remus said, reaching around to the holster on his right hip and pulling out his wand.

The four of them positioned themselves back to back, each guarding a different direction, as they waited for the time to tick around to ten o’clock. Remus scanned the trees in front of him for any sign of movement. He ignored the rest of the Forest, trusting his friends to protect his back and sides from any threats, and focused his attention on his assigned section. There was nothing. Not a rustle, nor a squeak. Not even a flutter of wings. The Forest was still.

‘It’s time,’ Sirius said, breaking the silence. ‘Who wants to pick a direction?’

‘We came in that way,’ James said, pointing in the direction Peter had been guarding. He turned 180 degrees. ‘So, we should go this way. Further in. I reckon the centaurs will live deep inside.’

Remus nodded. ‘I agree. They’re likely near the centre. But keep watch for water, too. They’ll want a convenient supply.’

Sirius led the way, with James close on his heels. Peter was right behind them, and Remus took up the rear, helping Peter to feel safer while also making sure no one stumbled into his back; he didn’t want a repeat of the Quidditch match fiasco. They trudged through the undergrowth for several minutes, scanning the trees and listening hard. No one spoke for fear of drawing attention to themselves, and the silence was eerie. The woodland beside Remus’ home teemed with life. It was never quiet. His instincts were screaming at him that the lack of noise from the wildlife meant danger, and his heart picked up its pace, sending blood to his muscles, preparing his body to fight or flee.

‘Did you hear that?’ James suddenly whispered, stopping dead in his tracks.

They all stopped moving and strained their ears to listen. From up ahead, there came a soft scuffling sound followed by a gentle snort.

‘Well, it’s not an acromantula,’ James said, giving Peter a reassuring pat. ‘Come on.’

They crept forward, keeping low to the ground, and peeked through the bushes. Up ahead there were two pens, one much bigger than the other. They had shiny metal fences, and the air above the small one shimmered, suggesting a magical barrier of some type. Four hippogriffs were curled up inside it, sleeping, but the bigger pen was empty.

‘Hagrid’s?’ James suggested, nodding towards the hippogriffs. ‘But why’s the other one empty?’

Sirius shook his head, staring at the empty space with wide eyes. ‘Not empty. It’s full of thestrals.’

‘Really?’ James asked with excitement. ‘Might as well get that tail hair now then.’

Sirius stared at James for a second, with his hands clenched into fists. Then he swallowed and jerked his head in a nod. Remus saw the exact moment that Sirius retreated into his fake-self; the persona he reserved for times when he was afraid or unsure. His chin went up, and his spine straightened. And the shutters came down over his eyes. Remus hated those shutters, hiding the true Sirius from view. His eyes no longer twinkled with mischief and humour but were dull and lifeless.

‘Back me up,’ Sirius said, striding out from the cover of the bushes. Remus, James and Peter hurried after him as Sirius marched towards the enormous pen. His steps slowed as he got closer, betraying the fear he was trying so hard to conceal. Remus said nothing, knowing Sirius would hate that any of them had noticed he was scared. But he moved closer, hoping his presence would help.

‘They’re all staring at me,’ Sirius said. ‘But they’re too far away to reach. I’ll have to go in.’

‘You said they pull the carriages, right?’ James asked. Sirius nodded, and James continued, ‘Well, they can’t be dangerous then, can they?’

Sirius shrugged. ‘Not usually, no. But who knows how they’ll react to me yanking out a few hairs.’

‘Pick a small one?’ Peter suggested.

Sirius chuckled. ‘Or perhaps the biggest? So I can have a quick death?’

‘We won’t let them hurt you, mate,’ James said.

‘I appreciate that James, I do. But the problem is, none of you can even see them.’

‘No, but we can see if you’re being attacked, and we can fire at the air around you.’

‘Which means I have to be hurt before you can protect me,’ Sirius said, raising an eyebrow at James.

Remus shrugged his bag off his shoulder and rummaged inside. ‘I have an idea.’ He pulled out the box he’d packed at breakfast and opened it. ‘That book I read over Christmas said thestrals eat meat. Maybe we can distract one with these.’ He pulled out a handful of sausages and waved them at the others.

Peter groaned. ‘But that was supposed to be our lunch.’

Sirius had glanced over at Remus’ words but quickly returned his attention to the pen. ‘That got their attention,’ he said, holding out his hand to Remus. ‘Some of them are walking over. Hand me the sausages.’

James stepped in between them and took the food from Remus. ‘Maybe we should feed them. You need to get the hairs, and you can’t do both.’

‘Good point,’ Sirius said, letting his hand fall back to his side. 

James handed two sausages each to Remus and Peter, keeping two for himself, and the three of them approached the fence. Sirius watched for a moment before joining them at the barrier a little way down and climbing over.

Remus held his first sausage out, holding on to the very end loosely. He didn’t want to lose his fingers. A moment passed, and he held his breath, waiting. Sirius looked very odd, moving in a half-crouch around what appeared to be empty space. If he wasn’t so nervous, he might have laughed at the spectacle. Then his sausage was yanked sharply out of his hand, and he jumped. Peter let out a squeak next to him, and he turned his head to see his offering had also vanished.

‘Feed that one again, Remus. I’m in position,’ Sirius said.

That one? Remus had no idea which one Sirius was referring to. Still, he held out the second sausage in line with where Sirius was standing with his hand outstretched, pinching the empty air. The sausage vanished again and, at the same moment, Sirius jerked his arm back and sprinted towards the fence, vaulting it in one jump and collapsing to the floor on the other side.

‘Bottle?’ he asked in between panting for breath. Remus held out an empty potion bottle, and Sirius deposited the invisible hairs inside.

Peter took the bottle and labelled it. ‘Don’t want one of us to think it’s empty and accidentally use it.’

‘Good thinking,’ James said, patting Peter on the shoulder before turning his attention to Sirius. ‘You did great, Sirius. You good?’

‘Yeah,’ Sirius said with a nod. ‘I know I ran, but I don’t think they were chasing.’

‘That’s lucky,’ Remus said. ‘Because I don’t think there’s anything stopping them from leaving this pen.’

Sirius looked up and frowned. ‘And you’re only mentioning this now?’

Remus opened his mouth to respond that the issue had only just occurred to him, but before he could get the words out, he was interrupted by a squeal from James.

‘Oy! That’s mine, you thieving little fluff ball!’

Remus looked around to see James running after a small furry animal.

‘The little bastard stole my Crest,’ James yelled. ‘Catch it!’

Remus glanced back at Sirius and found him grinning. With the danger past, the mischievous glint had returned to his eyes, and Remus couldn’t keep from smiling back.

Sirius jumped to his feet and pulled out his wand before joining the chase. ‘Don’t catch it, James. Stun it!’

‘Right, yeah. Good idea,’ James yelled back. He pulled out his own wand and fired a stunner at the niffler, which was dodging through the undergrowth ahead of him. The jet of red light missed by a foot.

‘Terrible aim, Jamesie boy,’ Sirius said. ‘Maybe that niffler deserves the Crest more than you.’

‘Shut up!’ James shouted over his shoulder. ‘I’d like to see you do better.’

Sirius jumped a fallen log, and Remus followed with a sense of déjà vu. The scene was jarringly reminiscent of the nightmare-dream he’d had a few weeks previously. Racing through the Forest with Sirius at his side and dodging obstacles. James and Peter hadn’t been in the dream, though, so it wasn’t exactly the same. Sirius shot his own stupefying charm at the niffler, and Remus followed suit. They both missed, and the chase continued.

Peter was falling further and further behind the longer they ran. So, Remus slowed down a little, attempting to keep both Peter and Sirius in view. Getting separated would be a disaster.

‘Just stay still, would you? Stupefy!’ James’ voice called out from up ahead. ‘Aha! Now you’re cornered. Stupefy! Got you, you little bugger.’

Remus rounded the corner and found James and Sirius stood over the niffler on the edge of a marshy bog. James bent down and pulled his Marauders’ Crest from the creature’s tiny paws before refastening it around his neck.

‘You’re going to revive him, right?’ Sirius said. ‘We can’t just leave the little fella stunned. He might get eaten.’

James rubbed his chin. ‘I don’t know how to cast rennervate, but you’re right. We can’t just leave him. Remus?’

Remus was still lingering at the turning, waiting for Peter to catch up. ‘I know the theory, but I’ve never tried it.’

‘Excellent,’ James said, strolling over to him. ‘I’ll wait for Peter. You go show off.’

Remus smiled at James’ teasing and joined Sirius on the bank of the marshland. The niffler lay on its back, its paws stuck straight up in the air, and its eyes closed. After making sure his own pendant was tucked away out of sight, Remus raised his wand and pointed it at the creature. ‘Rennervate.’

The niffler stirred and opened its eyes. On seeing the two humans standing over it, it shot to its feet and made a dash for it. Remus moved to let it pass and glanced at Sirius, just in time to see a tiny grey blur flash up behind him. ‘Watch out!’ he cried, but it was too late. The imp rammed into Sirius hard, and he flailed his arms as he fell, landing face-first in the marsh.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius saw Remus’ eyes fly open a split second before he shouted, ‘Watch out!’ Then something shoved him hard from behind, and he was falling. He tried, and failed, to regain his balance before landing face first in the disgusting marsh water.

‘Flipendo!’ he heard Remus shout as he pushed himself to all fours before clambering to his feet.

‘Who the fuck shoved me?’ Sirius growled, turning around to face Remus.

Remus’ mouth twitched. Sirius cocked his head to the side and frowned. He wouldn’t, would he?

Remus let out a squeak and pressed his lips together, hard.

Sirius narrowed his eyes in warning.

Remus snorted before doubling over and wrapping his arms around his waist as the laughter escaped him in an uncontrolled burst of sheer mirth. The sound was so full of infectious humour that Sirius soon felt his own lips twitching. When he looked down at his robes, dripping with filth and grime, he couldn’t contain it any longer. By the time James and Peter joined them, they were both on the ground with tears streaming down their faces, holding their sides from the pain of too much laughing.

James stared at them both for a moment, then he chuckled. ‘Love the new look, Sirius. Suits you.’

‘Particularly the weeds in your hair,’ Peter said. ‘The green really brings out your eyes.’

Sirius stopped laughing. ‘My hair!’ he wailed, bringing his hands up to feel the dripping strands and pull the plant-life off. ‘Urgh, that’s disgusting.’ He dropped the weeds on the floor and stood. ‘What foul creature is responsible for ruining my hair?’

Remus pushed himself to his feet, still letting out the occasional giggle. ‘It was an imp. But it’s long gone now.’

‘It’s nearly midday,’ Peter said. ‘Shall we have some lunch while Sirius dries off?’

Sirius grumbled his agreement, while picking weeds out of his hair. 

James nodded. ‘We need to tick stuff off the list too.’

They wandered back to the treeline and made themselves comfortable on the ground, not wanting to eat too close to the marsh in case the food attracted unwanted attention. Remus pulled out the box of goodies and handed it around. James grabbed himself an apple and took a large bite before rummaging in his bag for the parchment and Remus’ muggle pen. The genius little device was so much more portable than the usual quill and ink combo that the Marauders had long since adopted it as their preferred method for note-taking on the go.

‘So, hippogriffs and a niffler,’ James said. He ticked the creatures off before handing the pen and parchment to Sirius. ‘You better tick off thestrals, since you’re the only one who actually saw them, and Remus needs to tick off imp.’

Sirius took the proffered items and drew a tick next to thestrals before passing them to Remus. ‘That’s ten points so far. But we still haven’t found the centaurs or any sign of mooncalves.’

‘We should explore this marshland after lunch. There might be a river or stream we can follow,’ Remus said. He handed the parchment back to James and helped himself to the one remaining sausage.

They all agreed, and when they were finished eating and had packed everything away, they began to pick their way around the edge of the marshland. It was slow going. The bank was muddy and littered with forest debris, often disguising the waterlogged ground below it. All of them missed their footing several times, resulting in them sinking calf-deep into the marsh and needing to be pulled out by the others.

Much to Sirius’ satisfaction, it wasn’t long before all three of his friends were just as filthy as he was. By the time they found the stream that fed the marsh, they were all past caring about how dirty they were.

‘That’s weird,’ Remus said, staring out at the marsh.

Sirius followed his gaze but couldn’t see anything odd. There was nothing but a bit of deadwood floating towards them. ‘What’s weird?’

‘If the stream is flowing into the marsh, why is that wood floating this way?’ Remus asked, pointing.

‘Because it’s not wood, it’s a dugbog,’ James said. ‘We should probably move back.’

They all skittered away from the edge of the marsh, and a moment later, the dugbog gave up on them and changed direction, looking for an easier meal.

Following the stream eventually led them to a large colony of bundimun. The greenish fungus-like creatures were occupied devouring a rotten log, and the Marauders gave them a wide berth, covering their mouths and noses to defend against the foul stench of decay the things gave off. The stream widened out into a small river, and they continued to follow as it twisted through the trees.

‘Hold up,’ Peter said thirty minutes after passing the bundimun. ‘Look at the ground here.’

Peter may not be particularly gifted academically, but his observational skills were beyond brilliant. As usual, he’d noticed something the rest of them had overlooked. The patch of ground where Peter stood on the river bank was far more worn than the rest, as if many feet had walked there over a considerable length of time. Or many hooves. This might well be where the centaurs came for water. And, if it was, then there should be a path back to their camp.

Now he knew what to look for, it was easy to spot the break in the undergrowth and the well-worn track leading through it.

‘I think you’re right,’ he said. ‘This looks really promising.’

James had been staring up the path through the trees, and when he turned around, his expression was so grave it made Sirius’ stomach squirm.

‘Are you all ready for this?’ he asked. ‘It’s going to be dangerous. If any of you want to back out, you should do it now.’

‘Back out? Don’t be ridiculous,’ Sirius said.

Remus shook his head. ‘I’m coming.’

They all looked at Peter, and he swallowed before taking a deep breath and nodding decisively. ‘Marauders stick together, right?’

‘Absolutely,’ James said with a grin. ‘Okay. Remember, we have to be polite and respectful.’

‘We know, James. You’ve told us a hundred times,’ Sirius said. ‘Let’s go, times a wastin’.’

James took the lead as they traversed the make-shift path through the Forest. He would be taking on the role of Marauder spokesperson for the mission, and it was important that the centaurs were able to recognise him as their leader. The going was tough, nothing more than a muddy path, littered with fallen leaves which hid arching roots and depressions in the ground, causing them to stumble when they caught their feet. They quickly learnt to pick their feet up higher and place them carefully if they wanted to stay upright.

Sirius’ clothes had dried out, but the marsh muck had made his robes sticky and uncomfortable. He was attempting to peel them off his skin when he walked straight into James.

‘What did you stop for?’ Sirius asked before peeking over James’ shoulder. The sight that met his eyes took his breath away. There must have been at least fifteen centaurs interspersed among the trees ahead of them. They were bigger than Sirius had expected, muscular and intimidating, and each one held a bow pointed in their direction. Sirius swallowed down his fear and nudged James with his elbow.

James cleared his throat and took a single step closer to the herd, placing himself ahead of his friends and making it clear he spoke for their group.

‘We apologise for trespassing on your territory, friends. We mean you no harm,’ James said.

One of the centaurs gestured to the others, and they all lowered their bows. Both his human hair and his horse hair were black, and his face was lined with age. He stepped forward and addressed the Marauders, his tone laced with amusement.

‘Do not pretend you didn’t intend to trespass, young human. We know there are many students from the school roaming the Forest today. Most are not foolish enough to enter our territory for the few points it would gain them in your little game, though. Are you four braver than most, or just stupider?’

James shrugged. ‘Probably a little of both,’ he said.

The centaur chuckled and cocked his head to the side. ‘I was planning to make an example of you to dissuade others from repeating your actions, but you amuse me. Perhaps I will let you leave here alive after all.’

Sirius shuffled back a few steps to stand with Peter, knowing he’d be panicking. He placed his hand on Peter’s back and willed him to stay calm. James was doing well so far. So long as he stuck to the script they’d prepared and didn’t try to ad-lib, everything would be fine.

He held back a groan when James ran his hand through his hair, messing it up, before glancing over his shoulder and shooting them a cocky grin.

He was going to ad-lib.

Fuck.

James strolled right up to the lead centaur and grabbed his hand, shaking it firmly. ‘I knew we could be friends,’ he said. ‘I’m James Potter, and that’s Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. We call ourselves the Marauders, but that’s a secret so don’t tell anyone.’ He dropped his tone, adding a note of warning to it. ‘I’m trusting you.’

The centaur appeared taken aback at James’ sheer audacity, and he glanced at the centaur to his left with a startled expression. The second centaur had blonde hair and a palomino horse's body, and he looked equally concerned but nodded. Sirius wasn’t sure what he was saying yes to exactly, but he hoped it was a good thing. James had gone completely off-script, and he had no idea what was going to happen now.

‘My name is Odas,’ the black-haired centaur said. ‘I’m the Chief of the herd, and this is my second-in-command, Feodair.’

James grinned at Odas before marching over to Feodair and shaking his hand with equal enthusiasm. ‘Hi, Feodair, it’s fantastic to meet you.’

Feodair smiled. ‘And you, James Potter. I think my son Firenze would like you.’

‘I’m sure I’d like him too,’ James said. ‘Does he enjoy mischief?’

Feodair inclined his head. ‘Much to my dismay, he seems to like nothing better than breaking the rules.’

‘I like him already,’ James said.

‘Enough,’ Odas snapped. ‘It’s time for you to leave. This is your only warning. If you enter our territory again, we  _ will  _ make an example of you.’

James turned back to Odas and bowed. ‘Of course, Chief Odas, sir. But before we go, we have something for you. We were shopping in Hogsmeade when we came across it—’

‘You’re too young to have been allowed to enter the village,’ Odas said, interrupting him.

James laughed. ‘We’ve already established that we’re rule-breakers.’ He was rooting through his bag and finally found what he was looking for, pulling out an exquisitely carved oblong box made from mahogany wood. ‘The shop assistant said this was centaur made, and we thought it only right that it be returned to your people,’ he said, holding the box out to Odas.

Odas took the box from James with raised eyebrows. Holding it carefully, he glanced to Feodair, who looked intrigued, before opening it.

James bowed again. ‘We’ll be off then,’ he said. ‘It was wonderful to meet you all.’ He turned his back on the centaurs and winked at the Marauders as he began walking back towards them.

‘Wait!’ Odas said, his voice loud but not angry.

James stopped and turned back around. ‘Yes?’

‘This necklace. It’s a lost relic of great value to our herd. And you ask for nothing in payment?’

‘Why would we ask you to pay for something that’s rightfully yours?’ James asked, sounding scandalised.

‘You have much honour for wizards. Thank you. But I cannot allow this deed to go unrewarded. Name your price, and it shall be yours.’

James hesitated. ‘Well,’ he said. ‘There is a potion we would like to make. We thought it would be impossible, but perhaps not. One of the ingredients is five centaur tail hairs, given willingly. Is that an acceptable reward?’

Odas drew a sharp intake of breath. ‘Such a gift would create a magical bond between the centaur and the receiver that would last for generations. As Chief, I cannot allow such a bond to exist between myself and a human,’ he said before turning to address the watching centaurs. ‘But perhaps a member of my herd would be willing?’

The centaurs shifted uncomfortably, glancing at each other and looking away in shame. Sirius guessed they were embarrassed by their reluctance to volunteer. Finally, just as he was beginning to think they would fail, Feodair stepped forward.

‘If no-one else is willing, I’ll do it,’ he said.

Odas inclined his head, his expression sad. ‘You understand what doing this means?’

Feodair nodded. ‘I do, sir. But it is my path. The stars all agree these boys are important.’

‘I will be sad to lose you as my second,’ Odas said. ‘Your noble sacrifice will not be forgotten.’

‘Thank you, sir,’ Feodair said. He reached around behind himself and plucked five long blonde hairs from his tail without flinching and passed them to James.

‘You have a hard future ahead of you, Mister Potter. But with this gift, my family will always be ready to aid you and yours.’

‘Well, that’s a fairly sinister thing to say,’ James said. ‘But thank you for the hairs.’ He pulled a potion vial from his bag and placed the centaur tail hairs carefully inside. ‘I don’t suppose you could point us towards a mooncalf den? We need them for another ingredient, now we can make the potion.’

‘What do you mean “a hard future.” You can’t just say that and not explain,’ Sirius blurted out before smacking his hand over his mouth. He wasn’t supposed to speak.

Feodair smiled. ‘The stars reveal much to those who know how to read them. You and your friends have a long road ahead and many choices affecting your journey. Some paths lead to heartache, others to death. To reach the best possible outcome, you must never stop trusting each other. And remember, things are not always what they seem.’

‘Feodair, you say too much,’ Odas snapped.

‘Sometimes even we must break the rules, Odas. You’ve seen what’s coming as clearly as I have.’

James glanced between the arguing centaurs and coughed. ‘Um, sorry to interrupt, but the mooncalves?’

‘There is a clearing half-a-mile north of here. The mooncalves dance there,’ Feodair said, smiling kindly at them all. ‘Good luck, Marauders.’

‘Thank you,’ James said before returning to Sirius’ side and whispering, ‘Which way is north?’

Sirius chuckled and looked up at the sky, checking the position of the sun. ‘That way,’ he said, pointing.

They waved goodbye to the centaurs and walked north, deeper into the Forest. They were no longer following a path, and the going was even more challenging than it had been before. Peter tripped and cut his hand on a rock, which Remus used a minor healing charm on. Sirius stumbled and scraped his elbow on the rough bark of a tree trunk, and James twisted his ankle when he caught it in a tree root. The only Marauder that made it to the clearing without incident was Remus. He seemed to have a natural affinity for this environment, perhaps due to the wolf inside him. Or maybe that was just Remus.

‘What do you think Feodair was talking about?’ James asked as they walked. ‘It sounded ominous.’

Sirius grimaced. ‘I know, I didn’t like the sound of that death stuff, but he said we can avoid it by trusting each other, right? That’s easy enough.’

‘I can’t see us ever not trusting each other,’ Peter said. ‘But he also said something about things not always being what you think they are. Any idea what that meant?’

Sirius glanced at Remus. Sometimes people appear to be bookish nerd types and then turn out to be werewolves. He didn’t think that’s what the centaurs had been referring to, but it seemed like Remus might. He was looking very uncomfortable.

‘I doubt we’ll know what it means before it happens,’ Sirius said. ‘We’ll just have to keep it in mind.’

‘The shadows up ahead are getting lighter,’ Remus said. ‘I think we’re there.’

He was right. The thick trees gave way to a grassy clearing—a perfect circle in the middle of the dense forest. The grass was dotted with wildflowers, and fluttering amongst them were hundreds of fairies making a high-pitched buzzing sound.

‘Do you see a burrow anywhere?’ James asked, gazing around the edges of the clearing.

‘There,’ Peter said, pointing to the base of a tree opposite them. ‘There’s an opening under that tree.’

‘Excellent,’ James said. ‘Remus, do you have the instructions?’

‘Right here,’ Remus said, pulling a book from his bag. ‘We have to mark something with the runes and then cast the charm.’

Remus flicked through the book to the right page before passing it to Sirius and pulling out his wand. ‘A tree, do you think? We don’t want them to wash away before the full moon.’

James peeked over Sirius’ shoulder to see the book. ‘We have to do four, right? Forming a circle?’

Remus nodded. ‘And then cast the charm in the centre.’

‘Alright, everyone, make sure you know the runes then choose a tree,’ James said, already heading over to the other side of the clearing.

Sirius handed the book to Peter and gave James a mocking salute. ‘Yes, sir, James, sir!’

James laughed. ‘Get on with it then, lazy arse.’

Sirius grinned and loped over to a tree nearby. ‘I’ll do this side.’

‘Course, you would choose the closest,’ Remus said, rolling his eyes at Sirius and striding to a tree halfway between James’ and Sirius’.’

Peter took the book with him to his tree, which was for the best. He was the most likely to forget what the runes looked like and make a mistake.

Ten minutes later, they were done carving the runes, and Remus cast the landmark charm on the centre of the circle. When the full moon came, they need only cast the locate charm, and it would lead them straight to the clearing. Remus was a genius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think the Centaurs are talking about? I'd love to hear your theories :)


	33. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I take no responsibility for the events in this chapter. Sirius and James took control and the result looks nothing like my chapter outline *shrugs*.
> 
> Enjoy :D

Monday, 14th February 1972, 1:00 am

Sirius' mouth opened in a jaw-aching yawn, and he paused in his task of slicing the hunk of ginger root into half-inch cubes as his eyes closed against his will.

They hadn't won the Creature Hunt, not even close, but none of them cared. For them, the event had been a complete success. The thestral and centaur tail hairs were safely tucked away with the rest of the ingredients, and they knew where the mooncalves would dance on the next full moon. They only had two other ingredients left to get; the merpeople-scales and hair from a kelpie, and they had a plan for both. Tuesday afternoon, they would sneak into Hogsmeade for yet another attempt at finding something suitable to trade with the merpeople. And next weekend they would visit Emhio. But they had another mission to complete before then. Something far more fun and far less difficult. Crashing the Valentine's Day dance and spiking the punch.

Which explained what Sirius was doing preparing potion ingredients in a freezing cave in the dead of night when he'd much rather be curled up in the toasty dorm room, sleeping. Like Remus. The lucky bastard was so terrible at potion-making that none of them wanted him anywhere near the brew for fear he would cause a disaster. Instead, Remus was to be in charge of making notes for them all in Monday's classes.

On second thought, maybe Sirius was the lucky one. Potion-making was at least more interesting than note-taking.

With so little time to prepare something before the dance, they hadn't been able to go as spectacular as they would have liked. So they wouldn't be giving the Marauders credit for this one. The best potion recipe they could find at such short notice was the hair-raising potion. The recipe was simple, and they had everything they needed in their potion kits. With the addition of Remus' timing charm, they could delay the effects for maximum dispersal. It wouldn't do for people to stop drinking the punch after only a few were affected by it.

Sirius yawned again and shivered. It really was fucking cold in the cave.

'We have  _ got _ to get some form of heating down here.'

James looked up from grinding his horseradish into powder. 'Bloody freezing, isn't it?'

'Dunno what you two are complaining about,' Peter said, grinning at them from beside the cauldron. 'I'm lovely and warm.'

'If you weren't so close to the potion,' James said, 'I'd chuck these frog brains at your smug little face, but I want to go to bed as soon as possible, so I won't take that risk.' He pointed at him with his pestle. 'Think yourself lucky.'

Peter snorted. 'Note to self: Only tease James when standing next to a valuable potion.'

'Very wise, Pete,' Sirius said. He put down his knife and rubbed his hands together, trying to get the blood flowing into his fingers. 'Ginger's done.'

'Good. I need that soon. Bring it over.'

Sirius scooped the cubed ginger root into a bowl and carried it over to their makeshift brewing station. After handing the bowl to Peter, he crouched down to warm his icy fingers in the heat from the fire.

'How's it looking?' he asked, peering into the cauldron. The potion inside was a murky green with violet steam billowing off it and spiralling up into the shadows.

'Perfect,' Peter said. He stretched his arms above his head and yawned. 'And it's nearly done. We can go to bed soon.'

'Thank Merlin for that,' James said. 'I didn't realise how knackered we'd be after the Hunt.'

Peter added the ginger root to the potion and stirred, counting under his breath. Sirius and James stayed silent, not wanting to be responsible for him messing up and making them start again.

Thirty-seven stirs later, Peter put down the spoon and used his wand to set the fire to medium before looking up and wiping the sweat from his forehead. 'Is the horseradish powder almost ready? I'll need it in five minutes.'

James picked up the mortar of powder and stepped over to the cauldron, showing Peter the contents. 'Dunno, what do you think?'

Peter scrutinised James' work, pinching a few granules between his fingers and inspecting the size. Then he nodded. 'It's perfect.'

'Good, my arm's aching like a bitch,' James said. Rubbing at his arm muscles, he looked at Sirius. 'Next time, you're grinding, and I'm chopping.'

Sirius grinned. 'That's fair. I'm stronger than you anyway.'

James raised his eyebrows. 'Says who?'

'Everyone,' Sirius said with a careless shrug.

'You want to prove it?' James asked, straightening up and attempting to look intimidating.

'Oy!' Peter yelled, his voice echoing around the cave. Sirius and James jumped and looked at him with surprise. Peter never shouted. He seemed just as startled by it as Sirius was, and he coughed a little before continuing in a softer tone. 'Remus said if you two started fighting next to the potion, I should tell you he'll turn your hair purple for the whole week.'

Sirius and James glanced at each other, and both of them took a step back.

'Well,' Sirius said, stroking his hair protectively. 'That's just uncalled for, threatening a man's hair like that.'

James nodded his agreement. 'Quite. I think we need to teach our Remus a little lesson in respect.'

Sirius grinned. 'Hair-raising potion in his morning tea ought to do the trick.'

They finished up the potion and crept back to the dorm under the cloak. Remus was fast asleep with Cosmo curled up next to him, so they snuck into bed trying hard not to wake him. They needed their note-taker to be well-rested.

The next morning at breakfast, Sirius, James and Peter were all red-eyed from lack of sleep. And Remus was annoyingly chirpy, strengthening Sirius' resolve to get him back for threatening his hair in such a heartless way. The plan was simple. Sirius would distract Remus, while James slipped the potion into his tea.

'... and then they killed the dragon and saved everyone,' Remus said. 'It was a brilliant story. You can borrow it if you want.'

Sirius blinked at him. 'Don't need to, you just told us everything that happens.'

Remus blushed and lowered his gaze to his lap. 'Sorry. I'm talking too much, aren't I?'

'No,' Sirius said in a rush. Remus' expression caused a sick squirming in his stomach. The last thing he wanted was to make Remus think he couldn't be excited about the things he liked. Especially when he listened to Sirius go on about art for hours on end without complaining. 'I'm just tired and being a grumpy fuck. Ignore me.'

Remus was still staring at his hands in his lap. Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw James reach over the table and pass his hand over the top of Remus' cup. The liquid inside rippled for a few seconds before growing still. James winked at him, and Sirius moved his head in a very slight nod, letting James know he'd seen.

'Can I borrow the book, Remus?' Peter asked. 'You made it sound so interesting.'

Remus looked up and met Peter's eyes with a smile. 'Sure. I'll give it to you after classes.'

Sirius shot Peter a grateful look. He'd never seen the boy read anything he didn't have to, but he'd do everything in his power to make his friends happy. Even read an entire book apparently.

Remus took his last bite of breakfast, pushed his plate away and reached for his teacup. Sirius struggled to keep the anticipation off his face. The last thing he wanted was for Remus to realise something was up. Time seemed to move in slow motion as Remus lifted the cup to his lips and took a sip. He moved the cup away, and Sirius' eyes dropped to his throat, watching for the swallow. The moment he saw his throat bob, his gaze lifted to Remus' hair. Any second now.

One by one, strands of Remus' hair lifted from his shoulders and soared into the air above his head, standing up perfectly straight. James snorted, and Remus' eyes flickered in his direction, his expression questioning. He had yet to notice anything was wrong.

James shook his head. 'It's nothing. Just remembered something funny.'

Remus nodded and took another, larger sip from his teacup. More strands of hair joined those already sticking up. His hair was shoulder-length in its natural state, but with his curls straightened out it was a good sixteen inches long, and it looked hysterical standing up like it was. The students closest to them were pointing, whispering to their friends and giggling.

When the final few strands joined the rest in the air, Remus finally seemed to realise something was wrong. Maybe it was the cold air against his now bare neck, or perhaps it was the laughter getting louder. It might even have been James and Peter choking on their pumpkin juice. Sirius didn't know, but something clued him in because he lifted his hand to his head. As he felt his hair, Remus' eyes widened, and his face paled.

'Did something give you a scare?' Peter choked out in between giggles.

James' laugh seemed to die in his throat a moment later, and he frowned, leaning across the table. 'Woah, that's a nasty scar, mate. Where did you get that?'

Remus leant back away from James and slapped his hand over his neck. And Sirius' blood went cold. Fuck. This had been an awful, terrible idea. Why hadn't he considered that Remus might have grown his hair so long for a reason? He'd seen firsthand the injuries the wolf caused every month. Obviously, there'd be scars. He was an idiot! An absolute bloody moron!

And a terrible friend.

'It's nothing... I... Look...' Remus stammered. 'I have to go.'

'Remus. No. Wait,' Sirius tried. But it was too little, too late. Remus shot to his feet, grabbed his bag and dashed from the hall. The students' laughter followed him out, and Sirius, James and Peter all stared at each other. Sirius didn't know what to say, and it seemed the others didn't either.

Remus didn't turn up for Herbology, and the three boys pruned their dittany plants in silence. Sirius' stomach was heavy with guilt, and he guessed the other two were feeling equally bad about what they'd done to Remus. It was supposed to be a joke, but jokes were only funny when everyone was laughing. And Remus hadn't been laughing.

They ran all the way up to Gryffindor tower to check their dorm room during break. If he'd been in any doubt about the others' sense of guilt, it was quashed when Peter didn't even mention wanting to get food from the hall. The dorm room was empty, though, and they were out of time.

When they arrived at the Transfiguration classroom, two minutes late, Remus was sitting in his usual seat, and his hair was back to normal. It hung down either side of his head, hiding his face from view, and he didn't look up when Sirius sat down next to him. Sirius stared at him for a moment, hoping for some kind of acknowledgement. Remus ignored him completely, and Sirius sighed in frustration, opening his bag. As he rooted around for his inkpot and quill, he spotted the Marauders Notebook and pulled it out. Maybe a written apology would help.

Ignoring the questions on the board he was supposed to be answering, he opened the notebook and dipped his quill, ready to begin. But what to say? Short and simple would be best.

_We're sorry,_ _Remus,_ he wrote, and pushed the notebook across the desk.

Remus glanced at the page and shoved the book back at him without looking up. Not very promising. He tapped his quill on the desk as he thought about what to write next.

_ We didn't mean to upset you. It was just a joke. _

This time, when Sirius pushed the notebook under Remus' nose, he sighed and pulled it closer. Hope flared in his chest when Remus scratched out a reply. When the notebook was thrust in his direction, Sirius took it back eagerly and looked down at the page.

_ Leave me alone, Sirius. I'm working. _

His hope died a swift but painful death. It didn't seem like Remus was going to forgive them easily, and his chest ached with the knowledge that he was so angry at them. But he put the notebook away. He would do as asked; ignoring Remus' request would only make him madder.

Remus continued his silence when the theory lesson was over and they moved onto the practical work. They were combining both colour and material transfiguration, turning a red glass plate into a yellow china plate. Sirius could have performed the spell in his sleep, but he acted like he was having trouble with it just so he'd have something to do. He couldn't bear the thought of sitting in silence when usually he and Remus would be having a laugh while the rest of the class struggled.

At lunchtime, Remus disappeared down to the kitchens to eat, something he hadn't done for months, and it was the clearest sign yet. Remus didn't trust them to keep him safe any more.

James took his seat opposite Remus' empty one and met Sirius' gaze. His eyes held the same pain Sirius was feeling.

'We have to fix this,' he said. 'It's unbearable.'

'He won't even let me apologise,' Sirius said. He placed his elbows on the table, supporting his head with his hands. 'Told me to leave him alone.'

'This isn't the first time he's avoided us,' Peter said. 'Can we corner him outside the kitchen again?'

James shook his head. 'Bad idea. This is different from last time.'

'He's right,' Sirius said with a moan. 'Last time it wasn't our fault.'

'Don't despair, mate. We'll win him back somehow,' James said in a determined voice.

It was pitch black outside before they were able to speak to Remus. He ignored them in Charms and didn't even glance their way during Defence. He'd barely said a word to Evans either, which made Sirius feel a little better. Not much, but a little. They'd eaten dinner in silence, all of them preoccupied with the empty space next to Sirius. Remus' absence felt like a gaping hole at the heart of their friendship.

Returning to the dorm after dinner, they tried to occupy themselves while they waited. Remus would have to go there to sleep, and when he did, they wanted to be ready. Sirius lounged on his bed, his Defence textbook opened in front of him, but he was only pretending to read. All of his attention was on the door. James was flicking through a broomstick magazine, and Peter was looking over his notes on the Spectral Essence potion. Sirius was pretty sure neither of them were giving the activities their full attention either.

Sirius jumped when the door slowly opened, and Remus stepped into the room. His hair glinted gold in the torchlight, and strange patterns flickered over the skin of his face. After closing the door behind him, Remus walked over to his bed in silence. His face expressionless, as if carved from stone.

'Remus?' Sirius said, his voice no more than a whisper.

James, being far braver than him, stood and crossed the room, stopping when he reached Sirius' bed. 'Mate?' He paused, but Remus gave no response. 'We're really sorry about this morning.'

'You're sorry?' Remus asked, his back still facing them. His voice was cold. 'For humiliating me? Or because I'm mad about it?'

'Both?' Peter said, his voice nothing more than a squeak. It was a testament to how much Peter cared for Remus that he'd said anything at all. Peter hated confrontation.

Remus turned at Peter's answer, and Sirius drew in a sharp breath. Cold fury was written all across Remus' face, and his eyes were rimmed with red. He'd been crying.

'I don't blame  _ you _ , Peter,' Remus said, his voice lacking any hint of emotion. 'I doubt you could stop these two, no matter how much you tried.' He turned to Sirius and James. 'But you two. How could you do that to me?'

Sirius winced at the pain in Remus' eyes. It was layered beneath the anger. Hidden. But Sirius saw through the mask. He was an expert at covering up pain after all. And Remus was hurting deeply.

James, showing exactly which one of them was the truest Gryffindor, took a step closer to Remus. 'It was supposed to be a joke.'

'Yes, so Sirius said.' Remus turned away and opened his trunk before rummaging through the contents. 'It wasn't funny.' He pulled out a set of pyjamas and slammed the lid closed, making all three of them jump. Standing up straight, Remus walked to the door of the bathroom and pushed it open. Before stepping into the room, he paused, and then in the quietest, saddest voice Sirius had ever heard he whispered, 'I thought I could trust you.'

Six little words, that's all they were. How could six little words hurt like a thousand blades through his heart?

Sirius watched the door close behind Remus and groaned. 'We fucked up. We fucked up so bad.'

'We can still fix this,' James said, joining Sirius on his bed. 'We just need a plan.'

Peter walked over and climbed up next to them. 'I dunno, James. I don't think this is a plan kind of problem.'

James frowned. 'Explain.'

'Remus doesn't trust us anymore. If we plan something, he'll know it was planned. It'll seem...' He shrugged. 'I dunno... Fake?'

'He's right,' Sirius said. 'If we're going to win him back, we need to be real.'

'Starting with getting rid of the rest of the potion,' James said, nodding. 'It's not as funny as we thought it would be.'

'Good idea,' Peter said. 'But it won't be enough.'

'No, but it's a start,' Sirius said.

'So, no plans?' James asked. 'No schemes?'

Sirius shook his head. 'Merlin knows how, but we need to prove to him he can trust us. And some manufactured, scripted performance isn't going to do it.'

-o-o-o-o-

Remus stood just inside the bathroom door, listening. He felt a flash of guilt for eavesdropping, but he needed to know if they were discussing his scar. If they were working it out.

He needed to know if he would have to flee.

They weren't though. His scar hadn't been mentioned at all. The only topic of conversation seemed to be how they could earn back his trust.

Odd. They really seemed bothered that he wouldn't forgive them.

It didn't make any sense. They'd played a cruel joke on him, and that suggested they didn't care about him. But everything he heard through the door said the opposite. They cared a lot.

Cared so much that they were going to throw away the potion they'd stayed up half the night making. He appreciated the gesture, but it was unnecessary. It wasn't the potion he objected to, just that he had been singled out. There was a vast difference between being part of a large group of people affected by a joke and being the only one. In a group, you could all laugh together. Alone, everyone was laughing at you.

But if he was honest with himself, that wasn't even the main reason he was upset. Sure it had been horrible realising the laughter bubbling up around him was directed his way, and even worse having so many eyes staring at him. But if it wasn't for James noticing the scar on his neck, he could have laughed it off. Maybe made a joke about James' face scaring the life out of him or something. But James had noticed it, and the sheer terror at the exposure sent him into a panic. He was being more than a little unfair to them, though, using this incident as proof he couldn't trust them. Because he knew in his heart that had they already known about his scars, they never would have considered playing that particular joke on him. He knew it with the same kind of certainty that he knew the moon would always rise. And he couldn't hold the moral high ground on the humiliation either. Hadn't he threatened to do something very similar to their hair?

He'd handled it so poorly, running away like that. Deflection would have been more appropriate. If he was smarter, he would have prepared a story in advance. He shared a bedroom and a bathroom with three other people. It had been careless and stupid not to foresee a time when his scars might be seen.

He'd thought he was angry because that made sense, but it was really fear that had driven him to avoid his friends all day. Fear that they would figure out his secret.

That had been stupid too.

Even after making the mistake of running away, he should have done damage control as soon as possible. Sirius had even given him the perfect opportunity in Transfiguration. He could have written his excuse down. Took the time to choose his words carefully and make them believable, without body language or tone of voice to betray him. But no, he was an idiot and threw that chance away.

Five full moons he'd had so far at Hogwarts. Five times he'd disappeared for days. How many more could he get away with before his friends noticed the pattern? Collecting the ingredients for the Spectral Essence didn't help. With two of them needing to be collected on a full moon, it was practically shining a spotlight on the timing of his absence. As soon as he'd seen the list of ingredients, he'd known it would be risky. He'd hoped to cover up with his excuses, but now they had his scar to add to the evidence, and he was so afraid.

That fear was making him stupid, though. Causing him to behave irrationally. It was going to get him found out. What he needed to do was think through the problem and plan. Stop winging it and hoping for the best and actually prepare himself for questions so he could lie convincingly.

As much as he hated the idea of lying to his first and only friends, he didn't have a choice. Because the alternative was losing them and—he blinked back the tears that pooled in his eyes at the thought.

He didn't want to be alone again.

So, first things first. He needed an excuse for the scar on his neck. A childhood accident, maybe?

He fell out of a tree.

No. His neck was a weird place to be injured by that. And it would be helpful if the excuse also accounted for the rest of the scars, in case they were seen in the future. Something big then; he had a lot of scars to account for.

A car accident?

That could work really well. Sirius and James wouldn't know much about cars, and Peter was unlikely to question the story, too scared of causing an argument. That lie could account for his "fear" of being touched too if he said that for a long time after the accident, touch caused him pain.

What about the pattern, though? There wasn't much he could do about that. Maybe speak to Breen about spending the odd night in the storage rooms to break the pattern up, but he couldn't afford to miss any more classes than he had to.

His friends had gone quiet, and he'd been in the bathroom for far too long as it was. He needed to leave. After working through the issue, his fear had lessened. He was as ready as he was ever going to be. So he took a deep breath and pushed the door open. His gaze fell on Sirius first. He was lounging on his bed writing in his journal and looked up when the door opened, offering Remus a hesitant smile. Remus acknowledged the gesture with a smile of his own, and hope flared in Sirius' eyes. Glancing over to James and Peter's side of the room, he found them sitting together working on something, likely Peter's homework. They seemed absorbed in their activity, but Remus was reasonably sure they'd been looking at him until he turned his head their way.

He coughed to clear his throat, and they looked up. 'We need to talk,' he said, before taking the few steps to Sirius' bed and sitting down next to him. Sirius shuffled over to make more room. The action seemed automatic, and Remus felt the familiar warmth flood his chest, just as it did every time his friends did something specifically to make him more comfortable.

He couldn't lose them. Not yet.

And because of that truth, he had no choice but to lie to them.

James and Peter didn't hesitate to join them, crowding onto the end of Sirius' bed and gazing expectantly at him, sorrow and regret in their eyes. Sirius closed his journal and placed it on his bedside table before turning back to Remus.

'We got rid of the rest of the potion,' he said. 'And we promise never to play a joke on you again.'

Remus smiled at him but couldn't maintain eye contact. This was harder than he'd expected, and he resorted to looking down at his hands while he spoke. 'Look, I need to explain why I reacted like that.'

'You don't,' James said. Remus looked up at him, and James met his eyes. 'We know. You were embarrassed.'

'And now you feel like you can't trust us,' Sirius said, his voice sad. 'But we're going to fix that.'

James grimaced. 'Not sure how, but we'll find a way.'

'That's not necessary,' Remus said. 'I know you're sorry. And it's my fault, anyway.'

'Don't be ridiculous,' Sirius said.

'I'm not. If I'd told you this sooner, then you would've known not to do that to me. Like you know not to touch me.' He huffed out a breath. 'The problem isn't that I  _ can't _ trust you. Merlin knows you've proven that I can. The problem is that I  _ didn't _ trust you as much as you deserved. If I had, then you never would have done what you did.'

'Tell us what?' Sirius asked. His voice held a strange note of excitement that Remus wasn't sure fit the situation, but he pushed the thought away. He couldn't afford to get sidetracked right now. His story needed to be convincing.

'When I was four,' Remus said, 'I was in a car accident. My mum was fine, but I almost died.'

Peter looked horrified. 'I'm glad you didn't.'

James frowned. 'Cars are those weird box things with wheels that muggles ride around in, right?'

Remus nodded. 'Another car crashed into ours. I was in hospital for weeks while the wounds healed, and for a long time after it hurt if anything touched my skin.'

'So that's why you don't like to be touched?' Sirius asked, sounding thoughtful.

'And why I change in the shower cubicle.' Remus took a deep breath. He hoped this wasn't a mistake. 'I have...  _ a lot _ of scars, not just the one on my neck. They're ugly...  _ really ugly _ . I hate people seeing them.'

'You could never be ugly, Remus,' Sirius said so fast it didn't seem like he'd even thought about it.

James looked at him with an uncharacteristically serious expression. 'I bet you think they look worse than they do.'

'It's the inside that counts anyway,' Peter said with a shrug. 'That's what my mum says.'

Remus stared at his friends, each of them gazing back at him with nothing but support and acceptance, and tried to swallow past the thickness in his throat. Merlin, nothing could faze them. He felt lighter somehow. But a tiny part of him, deep inside, wished that he'd told them the truth. He hadn't been lying earlier when he said they'd proven themselves trustworthy, that he wasn't trusting them as much as they deserved. And if anyone could accept their friend was a monstrous beast, it was these three boys. Knowing James, he'd probably think it was cool.

He opened his mouth, the words on the tip of his tongue when his dad's face swam into his mind's eye, and he stopped. If his own father couldn't accept him, how could he trust anyone else to? No. Telling them the truth was far too risky. He could lose everything if they took it badly. Not just their friendship, but his chance of an education, maybe even his life. Best to just be grateful for what he had and not be greedy. They didn't care that he couldn't touch them, and they didn't care that he was horribly disfigured. That was enough.

'You guys are amazing,' he said finally. 'I don't deserve you.'

James scoffed. 'Can't argue with the first part, we  _ are _ pretty awesome. But I take issue with the second.'

'So do I,' Sirius said. 'Of course you deserve us. You're just as amazing as we are. It's a perfect match.'

'Yep, we're all amazing,' Peter said through a yawn. 'Can we go to bed now?'

Remus gasped. 'Oh Gods, you must all be exhausted, and here I am keeping you up with my hysterics. I'm sorry.'

Sirius waved away his apology.  _ 'Our _ hysterics,' he said. 'Don't be a credit hog. The Marauders share.'

James chuckled and flopped down with his head in Sirius' lap. 'We do. And I'm too tired to walk to my bed. I'm going to share yours.'

Sirius shrugged and pushed James' head off his lap and onto the pillow. 'Night, guys.'

Remus and Peter returned to their own beds, leaving Sirius to contend with a sleepy James, and called their goodnights as they went.

The following afternoon, the Marauders took Gunhilda's passage into Hogsmeade. After navigating their way out of Honeydukes under the cloak, they made straight for Dervish and Banges. Remus had yet to visit the magical junk shop, and he looked about with interest. The shelves were stacked high with a myriad of magical items, and there seemed to be no discernible organisation to the displays. There were dark detectors next to writing sets, magical clothing of all different types was dotted about, and jewelled items glinted from the shadows between stacks of tableware. He even spotted several books sitting in random places that he really wanted to look at. Remus felt right at home amidst the chaos.

'Don't I look fabulous, darlings?'

Remus turned at the sound of James' voice to find his friend striking a pose in a wide-brimmed lady's hat that was flashing between several designs.

'Gross. Why would you put that thing on your head?' Sirius said, pulling a face. 'You don't know where it's been. Wasn't the Sorting Hat bad enough?'

James pouted and fluttered his eyelashes. 'Don't you think I'm pretty?'

'I think you're pretty, James,' Remus said with a laugh. 'The pink one with the little white flowers is especially flattering.'

'Why, thank you, handsome.' James pulled the hat off and tapped it with his wand. The hat stopped flashing, staying on the pink design, and James put it back on.

'Are you really going to keep wearing that?' Sirius asked.

James stuck out his tongue. 'It annoys you. So, yes.'

Sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed Peter by the arm. 'Let's leave the weirdos to their dress-up,' he said, dragging him off further into the shop.

'What's he got against hats?' James asked in a snooty voice, sticking his nose in the air. 'I think I look ravishing.'

Remus chuckled. Glancing around, he spotted another hat stuffed between a stack of records and a large teapot. He pulled it out to find it was a dark green top hat. Slytherin colours. Perfect. Remus put the hat on and faced James.

'Cruel,' James said with a grin. 'But brilliant.'

'Are you ready to shop, darling?' Remus asked, putting on a posh voice.

'Always. I need some new diamonds to wear with my wonderful hat.'

'No diamonds could ever come close to matching your beauty,' Remus said, barely managing to keep a straight face as James preened.

'Are you two finished flirting yet?' Sirius asked, appearing from behind a towering stack of chairs. He eyed Remus' hat with distaste but apparently chose not to rise to the bait. 'We  _ are _ here for a reason.'

'Alright, calm down,' James said, pulling off the hat and putting it back where he found it. 'Honestly, you flirt with Remus all the time. I do it once, and you get all huffy.'

Sirius ignored him. 'Pete found a tent. It's only got two beds, but it's better than nothing.'

'Anything for the merpeople?' Remus asked. He took off the top hat and placed it on top of the stack of records.

Sirius shook his head. 'Nothing yet.'

'Show us the tent,' James said.

Sirius led them to the back corner of the shop where a small tent was set up. It didn't look big enough to hold more than one person, and even then they would have to be sitting to fit. But Sirius lifted the flap and waved them inside. James bent over and walked in.

'This is brilliant,' he said from inside. 'Remus, come see.'

Remus shrugged and ducked his head as he walked through the opening. He gasped. The inside space was almost as big as their dorm room, certainly larger than his bedroom at home. As Sirius had said, there were two beds. Peter was lying on one of them with his arm supporting his head, and his legs crossed at the ankles. When he saw Remus, he waved with his free hand.

'Great find, Pete,' Remus said. 'This is fantastic.'

Peter grinned and gestured towards the back of the tent. 'Wait until you see the rest.'

Remus and James went to investigate. At the back of the tent, behind another flap, they found a small bathroom with a toilet and washbasin. Next to it was a storage area with shelves and cupboards, one of which was refrigerated for anything that needed to be kept cold.

'This couldn't be more perfect,' Remus said. 'Can you afford it?'

'It's five galleons,' Sirius said, walking up behind them with Peter.

'The Marauders have just over ten galleons in the communal pot,' James said. He raised an eyebrow at Remus. 'So, yes.  _ We _ can afford it.'

Remus nodded. He still felt uncomfortable about the whole concept of the communal pot. James and Sirius had created the thing just after Christmas as an easy way to pool their resources for the task ahead of them. The idea was, they would all put in as much as they could, and they could all take from the pot to purchase things for the group. But Remus never had anything to contribute, and he had a hard time considering the money  _ his _ , no matter how many times James and Sirius reminded him.

'We should find something for the merpeople first, though,' Peter said. 'We don't want to miss out on something perfect because we spent the money on the tent.'

'That's a good point,' James said, frowning. 'Getting the ingredients has to be the priority. We're running short on time now.'

Remus got the distinct impression that living on a budget was an alien concept to James. They searched the shop for another hour, but despite their efforts, they found nothing they could be sure would be valuable enough to the merpeople not to cause offence. They did, however, find a book about sailing for wizards. Remus picked it up on a whim, ignoring his friends' teasing, and flicked through it. The way their voices died in their throats when he turned the book around to show them the instructions for a simple waterproofing charm was extremely satisfying.

After much discussion, they bought the book and the tent and left the shop with mixed feelings. The things they'd found would be useful, but if they couldn't find something to trade with the merpeople soon, it would all be over. All the time and money they'd invested would be for nothing. There was still an hour until they needed to head back to the school, so they traipsed to the pub for a butterbeer to cheer themselves up.

'You know,' Peter said once they were all ensconced in the corner with foaming glasses in their hands. 'I think we might be going about this all wrong.'

'Meaning?' James asked before taking a long gulp from his glass of butterbeer and sighing with satisfaction.

'We're trying to put a value on someone's body part. It's impossible.'

'So what do you suggest we do?' Sirius asked.

'Well, if we're asking them to give  _ us _ something priceless...' Peter said.

'Then we need to offer  _ them _ something priceless in return,' Remus finished for him, feeling like a lightbulb had been switched on his brain.

'Exactly,' Peter said, shooting a smile at Remus. 'We should make something for them.'

'Something unique,' Remus said, excitement fizzing in his stomach. 'Infused with our magic. It would be a part of each of us.'

'And therefore, of equal value,' James said, showing the same excitement in his tone that Remus was feeling. 'Peter, you're brilliant!'

James grabbed Peter's face between his hands and slapped a big wet kiss on his forehead. Peter didn't exactly look thrilled with his "reward."


	34. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my longest chapter so far. Enjoy :)

February 16th, 1972

It was the worst day of the year; the anniversary of the day a monster snatched up his life and tore it to shreds. And Remus was struggling to keep his temper in check. He was always in a crappy mood on February 16th, but this year was proving more challenging than most. Every other year, he'd been at home. His mum understood why he was grumpy and left him alone. But at school, getting alone time was near impossible. His friends were being clingy after their falling out two days ago. They couldn't understand why he was being off with them, and they would not _stop_ trying to cheer him up. He knew they meant well, but it was grating on his every nerve.

The morning free period hadn't been too bad. They'd spent an hour in the beach room practising for their next match, and it had been almost therapeutic. Blasting sand wasn't as satisfying as destroying something more substantial would be, but it went a little way towards taking the edge off his mood, and fighting didn't allow much space for conversation. Plus, he won, so there was that.

But their second-period lesson, History of Magic, had taken him right back to pissed off. Lycanthropes were mentioned several times in relation to the addition of clause 73 into the International Code of Wizarding Secrecy. And every time Professor Binns said "werewolf" Remus wanted to scream. He didn't even take any notes.

Charms wasn't much better. Werewolves weren't mentioned, but the spell they were practising was the one he used every month to lock himself up. Each time he muttered, "Colloportus," and the padlock on his desk clicked shut, the sound caused a chain reaction in his mind, and he was forced to relive one of his transformations. Such pleasant memories, he just loved being reminded of them.

All morning, every time his friends tried to speak to him, he either brushed them off or responded with some sarcastic, cutting remark, and he knew they were concerned. He couldn't fail to notice the glances they kept shooting each other, and the silent conversations going on behind his back. Lunch was proving to be unbearable. With no classwork to use as an excuse for his silence, the attempts to cheer him up were relentless.

'I finished the first chapter of that book you lent me,' Peter said. 'It's really exciting.'

'Wow, Pete. Is that the first book you've read by choice? You must be so proud,' Remus said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Peter's near-constant smile vanished, and Remus' stomach squirmed with guilt. He didn't want to be nasty, Merlin knows, Peter didn't deserve it, but he couldn't stop.

'For fuck's sake, Remus,' James snapped. 'Why're you being a dick? Peter didn't deserve that.'

'James,' Sirius said in a warning tone. 'Don't.'

'No. I've had enough,' James said, slapping his hand on the table and glaring at Remus. 'What the fuck is wrong with you today?'

Remus' barely controlled rage bubbled over, and he glared right back at him. 'Fuck you, James,' he spat. Remus grabbed his bag and jerked to his feet. 'Just leave me the fuck alone, yeah?' He turned and stomped his way towards the Entrance Hall.

'Like fuck are we doing this again!' James shouted after him.

By the time Remus reached the Entrance Hall, his temper was already cooling, and the guilt was setting in, making his eyes burn with unshed tears. He'd probably ruined everything. James would never speak to him again, and who could blame him?

'Remus! For fuck's sake. Will you just talk to us?' James barrelled into the Hall mere seconds behind him with Sirius and Peter on his heels. They must have abandoned their lunch without hesitation to have caught up with him so fast. Maybe there was still a chance he could repair the damage he'd done.

'Aw. What's the matter, Lupin? You had a falling out with your boyfriends?'

Remus stiffened. He would recognise that slimy drawl anywhere. It belonged to the very person he least wanted to see when he was in such a state. Bloody Snivellus.

He turned around and saw the familiar sneer beneath the curtains of black, greasy hair. The boy was repulsive, inside and out. His only redeeming quality, as far as Remus could tell, was that he was kind to Lily. But that didn't excuse all the vile things he did the rest of the time. Anyway, Remus needed a target that wasn't his friends, and Snivellus was there.

Remus whipped his wand from its holster and pointed it at Snivellius' sneering face. Before he could react, Remus whispered, 'Furnunculus maxima,' and watched with satisfaction as the hex hit him square in the face. Boils sprouted up, beginning on his nose where the spell had made contact but quickly spreading over his face and down his neck. They would continue to spread under his clothes, not stopping until his entire body was covered in them.

'Nice one, Remus,' James said. 'Quite the improvement.'

Sirius barked a laugh. 'Aren't you going to thank him for helping you look your best, Snivellus?'

'Yeah, Snivellus,' Peter said. 'It's polite to say thank you when someone does something nice for you.'

'Who's responsible for this?' Professor Slughorn's voice echoed through the Entrance Hall, and it took Remus a moment to spot him striding over from the direction of the dungeon stairwell.

'It was Lupin, sir,' Snape mumbled through his hands.

'Thirty points from Gryffindor, Mister Lupin. And detention. I'm very disappointed in you.' Slughorn put his arm around Snape and led him away towards the hospital wing, leaving Remus alone with his friends.

'That was awesome!' Sirius said, turning to him with a look of glee on his face. 'You have got to teach us that spell.'

Remus smiled his first genuine smile that day. After attacking Snape, his anger had all but disappeared. He decided not to think too hard about that. 'I can teach you the weaker version. You won't be able to cast that one yet without killing yourselves.'

'Are you going to tell us what's wrong with you?' James asked. He had his arms crossed and his chin in the air, but he relaxed his stance when Remus faced him. 'Look, you said before that you regretted not trusting us as much as we deserved. So trust us with whatever this is. Maybe we can help.'

Remus sighed. James was right, and he clearly wasn't going to be distracted from the issue. He had to tell them something.

'In the dorm,' he said. 'Not here.'

James nodded. 'Fine, let's grab some food first, though. We left our lunch behind for you.'

Fifteen minutes later, they were crowded on Peter's bed—he was the only one who didn't care about crumbs—and three pairs of eyes were staring at Remus expectantly.

The time it had taken to get upstairs had given him time to think, and he was ready. 'It's the anniversary of the car accident today. I can't stop thinking about it. The memories, you know?' He looked down at his hands and shrugged. 'It's hard.'

Sirius' eyes widened with understanding. 'You should have told us. We could have helped.'

'At the very least we wouldn't have been hounding you all day,' James said. He glanced around the circle at the others, pausing briefly on Peter. 'Does anyone else have any difficult anniversaries we should know about? You don't have to say why it's hard if you don't want to.'

Peter nodded. 'Um, the 3rd of May is hard for me. But I don't want to get into why right now.'

'That's fine,' James said, offering him a reassuring smile. 'We'll put it in the Notebook, so we'll remember to be extra nice to you that day.'

Remus wondered if that was the day Peter's dad got sent to prison, or if it was something else, and the thought flooded him with guilt. He'd been a complete arse. Selfish. Wrapped up in self-pity and taking it out on people who'd been nothing but good to him. And they each had their own problems. Sirius' home life sounded awful from what little he'd shared, and Peter had something painful in his past. On the surface, James seemed to have it easy, but Remus had deduced from listening to his stories that before Hogwarts, James' life had been almost as lonely as his own. And James hated being alone. If they could all manage their pain without being assholes, then he had no excuse.

'I'm sorry for being such a jerk all day,' he said.

'It's forgotten,' James said, waving his hand dismissively. 'There's no room for holding grudges in the Marauders.' He gave the others a meaningful look. 'Right?'

Sirius and Peter both nodded their agreement.

James clapped his hands and rubbed them together. 'Now, what are we going to make for the merpeople?'

Their discussion that afternoon was fruitless. None of them could think of anything good enough. But in art club on Thursday afternoon, the prefect in charge mentioned a spell that allowed an artist to pack a painting into a box and transport it to a new canvas. It was precisely the sort of thing they were looking for. Unfortunately, she couldn't recall the name of the spell and had no idea how to cast it. As Chief of Research, Remus assumed he'd be delegated the task of finding the spell, but he was wrong. With so little time left before they absolutely had to begin brewing the potion, James and Peter would be joining him in the library to search, while Sirius worked on the design for the painting. Not wanting to be left out, Sirius lugged his art set down to the library, and they set up shop in a quiet side room.

'Do you think an underwater scene would be best? Or something the merpeople won't ever have seen before?' Sirius asked when Remus returned from the main library with a stack of books.

'Something new,' Remus said. 'They see underwater scenes all day.'

Sirius nodded. 'I was thinking the same.'

James entered with his own stack of books—a considerably smaller stack than Remus'—and Peter came in behind him.

'I found this book called Useful Spells for the Professional Artist,' Peter said. 'Thought you might be interested, Sirius.'

Sirius took the book and flicked to the contents page. 'Thanks, mate. This looks great.'

Peter grinned. 'I already checked. The spell we're after isn't in it, but some of it sounded pretty cool.'

'I'll check it out when we leave and look at it later,' Sirius said, putting the book to one side with what looked like an enormous amount of effort. Remus felt a little proud of him for showing so much self-control.

They soon settled down to their tasks, and the room was silent but for the sound of their breathing, the turning of pages and the scratching of Sirius' quill.

Half an hour later, the silence was broken by a quiet murmur from James. 'Interesting.'

Remus looked up from his book on moving house wizard style. 'You have something?'

'I think so,' James said. 'It talks about infusing an object with your own personality.'

'Like a chair?' Sirius said, sounding excited. 'Could I make a chair act like me?'

'No, like a picture,' James said. 'It has to have the ability to portray you.'

'That must be the spell they use on the portraits,' Remus said. 'If you put us in the painting, then we can add our personalities. A piece of each of us.'

Sirius hummed, looking down at the parchment in front of him. 'Yeah, I think I can do that.'

'What do you have so far?' James asked, leaning over to peek at Sirius' sketch.

Sirius shrieked and hid the paper with his hands. 'You can't look until it's finished. Don't you know anything?'

James held up his hands in surrender. 'Sorry. Sorry. I didn't realise you artists were so neurotic.'

'I'll give you neurotic,' Sirius said. He eyed James warily. 'Just write down the spell, research boy.'

James snorted. 'Research boy? Is that supposed to be an insult?'

'Shut up,' Sirius said with a laugh.

James copied the instructions for the spell into the Marauders Notebook, and Remus returned to his book. He found what they were looking for a few chapters later.

'I've got it,' he said. 'We need… a box made from pine wood… carve the runes on the surface… potion… Nothing hard to get, but we'll have to raid Slughorn's supplies again… and the spell itself is a level eleven, so I can cast it.'

'Brilliant!' James said. 'Well done, mate.'

Remus copied the instructions down, and they returned all the books, except for Sirius' art one, and went back to their dorm room.

It was another two hours before Sirius was satisfied enough with his sketch to show it to them. The breath-taking scene was worth the wait, though. It showed the clearing in the forbidden forest where the mooncalves lived, complete with fairies, and the four boys were sitting in a circle in the very middle. It was dusk, and the sky was awash with colour.

'It's beautiful,' Remus said, meaning it with every fibre of his being. 'I'm actually sad we have to give it away.'

Sirius beamed. 'I can paint a second one for us to keep.'

We'll have to get more paint for that,' Peter said. 'I don't think we have enough for two murals.'

James shrugged. 'Sirius and I can run into Hogsmeade and get it tomorrow while Remus is helping you with Charms.'

'We're still going to talk to Emhio in the morning, though?' Sirius asked.

James nodded. 'Morning, sneak into Defence. Afternoon, sneak into Hogsmeade.'

'Good job we're experts at sneaking,' Peter said with a chuckle.

Early the next morning, Sirius woke Remus up by whispering his name inches from his ear. Remus decided not to call him out on the blatant theft of his favourite method of waking late-sleepers because it was actually rather pleasant. He considered hiring Sirius as his personal alarm clock, but that was a terrible idea. Sirius was rarely awake before him these days.

They used one of the snitch-o-scopes Remus had made for Christmas to sneak down to the Defence classroom, but it didn't light up once on the way there. No one else was around so early on a Sunday morning. Getting in was simple, Remus was an expert at the unlocking charm, and they slipped inside quietly and closed the door behind them.

The classroom was gloomy; the torches hadn't been lit since there was no class that day, and though it was past dawn, the sun was on the other side of the castle. Remus pulled out his wand, lighting it with a whispered, 'Lumos,' and his friends followed suit. They hurried over to the pool at the front of the room, but it was empty.

'Shit!' James said. 'Where is she?'

'In the lake, I guess,' Sirius said, shrugging. 'Stupid of us to assume she'd be here, really.'

'Dammit, I thought this one would be easy.' James scowled at the tranquil water as if it had personally offended him.

'So what now?' Remus asked.

Peter tilted his head slightly to the side as he stared at the empty pool. 'We could check the water.'

'We can already see she's not here,' James said.

Peter rolled his eyes. 'Not for Emhio. For hair. She spends a lot of time in there. Maybe she left some behind.'

James' eyes went wide with understanding. 'You're right! Come on.' James pulled off his socks and shoes and was just starting on his robe when he realised no one else was moving. He looked at them quizzically.

'You want us to get in there?' Sirius asked, wrinkling his nose.

Peter shuddered. 'I bet the water's freezing.'

James put his hands on his hips. 'Pathetic, both of you. We can shower after, Sirius. And Pete, a little cold won't kill you.' He turned to Remus. 'And what's your excuse?'

Remus took a step back. 'I… er… I…'

'He doesn't want to take his clothes off, obviously,' Sirius said, answering for him.

Guilt flashed in James' eyes. 'Right. Of course. Sorry, Remus.'

'It's alright,' Remus said, feeling a little dizzy with relief. He'd been worried James would force the issue, but he should have known better. He perched on the edge of the white stone wall and took off his shoes and socks. 'I can still help you look.'

'Good man!' James said. 'Take a good look, you two. This is what a real Marauder looks like.'

Sirius huffed. 'Urgh, fine. But if I catch some horrid disease, I'm blaming you.' He pulled off his socks and shoes before pulling his robes off over his head. James followed suit, and they both stood in their pants and looked expectantly at Peter.

'I can see I'm outnumbered,' Peter said with a sigh, unbuttoning his jeans. 'But I'm keeping my shirt on.'

'You and Remus should tie your hair back,' James said to Sirius. 'We don't want to contaminate the water with your hairs.'

Sirius pulled one of the hairbands off his wrist and offered it to Remus. 'You okay with that?'

'I guess,' Remus said. They had already seen that scar. And he knew they wouldn't make him uncomfortable about it. He took the elastic from Sirius and pulled his hair back into a messy ponytail, quite certain he looked ridiculous.

When they were all ready, they gingerly waded into the murky water. Peter's prediction about the temperature was wrong. It was cold, but not unbearably so. It wasn't deep, only reaching Remus' chest, and they waded around skimming their hands across the surface of the water, hoping to snag any hairs that were floating on it.

Remus dragged his fingers through the nearby water for what felt like the hundredth time, but this time when he raised his hand, there was a single silvery-white hair wrapped around his fingers.

'I got one!' he yelled.

'Finally,' Sirius said. 'This is so gross.'

'Oh stop your whining,' James said, splashing Sirius with water. 'Put it in the vial, Remus.'

The water hit Sirius in the face, and he spluttered. 'Urgh. It went in my mouth. I'll get you for that.'

'Don't start fighting or we'll never find the hairs,' Remus said, unwinding the hair from his fingers to deposit it in the potion vial.

'I've got another one,' Peter called. He was on the other side of the pool from James and Sirius. A wise decision on his part, as it turned out. Although it wasn't hard to predict that the two boys would start fighting. They were always fighting.

'One more and we're done,' James said.

Sirius narrowed his eyes. 'And then you better watch out.'

'Ooh, I'm so scared,' James said with a laugh.

Sirius said nothing. Instead, he stuck his nose in the air and turned away, continuing to search for kelpie hair. James found the last one they needed after another ten minutes and waded over to the edge of the pool to deposit it in the vial. Sirius followed him at a distance. James sealed the vial, before climbing out of the pool to put it in his bag. The moment the vial was safely stowed, Sirius got his revenge.

Remus and Peter had seen it coming and were watching from the safety of the back of the pool as Sirius cupped his hands below the surface and scooped a large quantity of water over James' head. And over the floor of the classroom.

James spluttered and whipped around to face Sirius. He pushed his now sopping wet hair out of his eyes and glared at him.

'Bit much, don't you think?'

'Nope,' Sirius said, grinning.

James went completely still for the span of half a second and then with a whoop loud enough to wake the dead he dived back over the wall, landing on Sirius and dragged him under the water.

When they surfaced, both boys were laughing. Sirius glanced towards where Remus was standing with Peter and his eyes twinkled with mischief. He whispered something in James' ear, causing a shiver to run down Remus' spine right before they turned towards them with identical evil smirks.

'Uh-oh,' Peter said.

'Don't you dare,' Remus said as James and Sirius advanced towards them.

'You're not getting out of this one, Remus,' Sirius said. 'You obviously don't mind water.'

'Bugger.' Remus tried to run away, but running while chest-deep in water is impossible and, being taller than him, his attackers were able to move faster.

Moving in sync, James and Sirius pushed their hands through the water and caused a mini tidal wave to envelope Remus and Peter.

Remus smoothed his hands over his hair to squeeze the water out and stop it dripping in his eyes, before sneering at James and Sirius. 'You're going to wish you hadn't done that.'

'Oh yeah?' Sirius smirked. 'Bring it, nerd boy.'

Remus forced his own mini tidal wave in their direction, before launching himself to the side and trying to swim away. Unfortunately, heavy jeans and a baggy jumper were not the best clothes for swimming, and the weight of them pulled him under. He panicked for a second or two before managing to get his feet back under him. Spluttering, he broke the surface to find all three of his friends watching him with worried faces that melted into laughter once they were sure he was okay.

'Thought I was going to have to haul you up by your ponytail,' James said.

'I was thinking the back of his collar, at least that wouldn't hurt,' Sirius said, frowning at James.

'No, it would just strangle him. Much better,' Peter said. He shrugged at Remus. 'I was going to use your belt.'

Remus took a second to appreciate that all three of his friends had come up with different ways to rescue him from drowning without needing to touch his body. (They were so considerate.) And then he flooded them with another wave and bolted.

With their laughter ringing through the empty classroom, they followed after, launching wave after wave at him. But he was ahead of them now, and he'd almost reached the edge.

In between the echoing laughter and the splash of the water, Remus' sensitive hearing picked up a high-pitched creak. The noise was out of place; it didn't belong. All other sounds seemed to fade into the background as his senses zeroed in on the danger, and his head turned towards the door.

Professor McGonagall stood frozen in the doorway with her hand still on the door handle, and her mouth slightly open as if she'd begun to speak, but the words somehow got lost on the way to her mouth.

Buggering bollocks, they were in trouble now. At least James had put the vial of kelpie hair in his bag out of sight.

Professor McGonagall's mouth opened and closed twice before she finally spoke. 'What in Merlin's name is going on in here?'

At the sound of her voice, the others finally noticed they had company and stopped splashing him. Remus heard a quiet, 'Crap,' slip from Peter's mouth behind him.

'Err. We fancied a swim?' James offered.

Professor McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose. 'If you "fancied a swim," Mister Potter, as you so eloquently put it, there is a perfectly good swimming pool right next to your common room. A fact I know you're aware of, being as it was you four that _found_ it.'

'The water in that pool is too warm,' Sirius said. Remus couldn't see him, but he could easily imagine the careless shrug that no doubt accompanied the words. 'We were looking for something a little more... bracing.'

'You were…' Professor McGonagall shook her head. 'Never mind. You two put some clothes on,' she said, pointing at James and Sirius. 'Then all of you go and get dried off and report to Mr Filch for mops and buckets. You will clean up every last drop of water. Without magic.'

James and Sirius groaned.

Remus nodded, accepting the punishment was fair. They had made the mess; it was only right they clean it up. 'Sorry, Professor. We never intended to make a mess; things got a little out of control.'

'Maybe so. But breaking into the classroom was intentional,' McGonagall said, her expression stern. 'I'm surprised at you for going along with this, Mister Lupin. I thought you had more sense.'

If Professor McGonagall thought delivering that line before sweeping from the room would make Remus rethink his behaviour, she was mistaken.

As soon as the door closed behind her, he chuckled and climbed out of the pool. 'Really, James? "We fancied a swim." Was that the best you could do?'

'Shut up,' James said, laughing. 'She caught me by surprise.'

Sirius picked up his robes, which were soaked, and looked at Remus. 'Why are the teachers always surprised when they catch you doing something wrong?' he asked. 'You get into trouble almost as much as the rest of us.'

'It's that innocent little face of his,' James said, laughing. 'Everyone thinks he's just a quiet little bookworm.'

'Little do they know,' Sirius said, smirking, 'that behind that nerd-like façade, beats the heart of a Marauder.'

Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius' dramatics. 'You use words like "façade" and have the cheek to call me a nerd?'

'Façade isn't a nerdy word,' Sirius said, sticking his nose in the air. 'It's French.'

'Yeah,' James said, his voice rivalling Remus' for sarcasm, 'because knowing French isn't nerdy at all.'

-o-o-o-o-

Much to Sirius' annoyance, it had taken most of the day to clean the Defence classroom to McGonagall's satisfaction, meaning he and James had to delay their trip into Hogsmeade until Tuesday afternoon. He was itching to get started on the mural. But he consoled himself with the fact that they couldn't realistically begin until the next weekend, anyway. It took so long to reach the cave that there was really no point in going unless they had a good few hours available. And in the meantime, they had a few more items to collect, so the extra few days wouldn't be wasted.

While Remus and Peter napped on Wednesday afternoon, Sirius and James searched the edge of the Forbidden Forest for pine wood to make the box. Then on Friday night, the four of them raided Slughorn's supplies before heading to the kitchens to stock up on food. With everything they needed for project merperson in hand, they made the long trek down to their cave, set up their new tent and got the fire going to warm the place, having yet to find a more effective way to do it.

They were prepared to spend the entire weekend in the cave. Time was running out; if they didn't begin brewing the Spectral Essence soon, it would never be done in time, and the merperson scales were one of the first ingredients.

With only two beds in the tent, they planned to take it in turns to sleep. So on Friday night Sirius and Remus turned-in first, while James and Peter worked together brewing the potion to create the painting transportation box. Despite their small size, the beds in the tent were surprisingly comfortable, and Sirius slept like the dead, waking up on Saturday morning feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Although, he could have done without James leaping on him with a cry of, 'It's my turn to sleep, lazy arse!' as a wake-up call.

After spending an hour smoothing out a section of the cave wall for Sirius to paint on, he and Remus worked in companionable silence, each of them focused on their own part of the project. Remus was working on carving the box from the pine branches they'd collected. It had to be made by hand, not transfigured, or it wouldn't be able to hold the magic, and Remus had volunteered himself for the task. Sirius secretly suspected that Remus had done so because he knew he would heal fast if he hurt himself with the knife. So he made a point of not looking at Remus too often, keeping his attention on his painting instead.

Using a special ink he'd picked up in Hogsmeade, Sirius outlined the image he wanted to create. The ink was designed so the artist could easily alter a line after it was drawn. With the tip of your wand, you could push the ink a little one way, or a little the other way, or nudge a line in the middle to adjust the curve. Getting the tiniest detail just right was an absolute breeze, and Sirius considered it the best investment he'd ever made.

By the time James and Peter emerged from the tent rubbing the sleep from their eyes, the outline of the mural was complete. And Remus had a small collection of smooth-ish, almost-flat slabs of wood ready to be soaked in the potion before being assembled into a box.

'Wow, you guys have been busy,' James said, wandering over to the wall to examine Sirius' masterpiece. 'This is going to look amazing. I wish we could keep it.'

Sirius grinned. 'I'll paint another, even better one for us.'

'That's what I was hoping you'd say.'

'Lunch is served,' Peter called from next to the fire pit where he was sitting with Remus.

Sirius' stomach growled at the delicious sight of sandwiches, fruit, and cake spread out on a blanket next to the fire. He bounded over and grabbed a ham sandwich from the pile, ripped it in two and stuffed an entire half into his mouth before he sat down.

'Mmm,' he moaned through the mouthful of food. 'I'm starving.'

'You did a great job with the wood,' Peter said, looking at Remus. 'Did you hurt yourself at all? I brought some dittany along just in case.'

'I'm fine, but thanks,' Remus said. He made a show of checking his hands for scratches, before holding them out to show Peter. 'See, all good.'

Peter examined the perfectly smooth, unbroken skin with a frown. 'That's pretty impressive. You don't even have any nicks from the splinters.'

Remus pulled his hands back a little too fast. 'I was careful,' he said. 'Is the potion ready? The wood needs to soak for a few hours, so we should put it in as soon as possible.'

As subject changes went, it was far from subtle. But if Peter noticed anything odd about it, he didn't let on.

'It needs another three minutes,' Peter said after checking the timer. 'What are we going to do while we're waiting for the wood to soak?'

'Practice the personality spell,' James said. 'We don't want to ruin all Sirius' hard work by doing it wrong.'

When the timer went off, they lowered the slabs of wood into the cauldron, careful not to make it splash. They didn't know what would happen if the potion touched their skin. Sirius sat down and drew a quick sketch of each of his friends for them to practice on and then returned to his mural.

He filled in the background first, painting the sky with colour-changing paints in purples, pinks and reds. The trees he coloured in deep greens and browns, with intimidating shadows between them, contrasting sharply with the lightness of the clearing which he painstakingly recreated using the brightest colours he could mix. He was putting the finishing touches on the wildflowers when his friends arrived at his side.

'Aw, you haven't painted us yet,' James said.

'We're the focus,' Sirius explained. 'I'll do that last.'

'I love the sky,' Peter said. 'I can't stop looking at it.'

Sirius beamed at the praise. No one but Reg had ever complimented his art before he came to Hogwarts. His parents always said it was a waste of time and money, and his cousins were downright cruel and just poked holes in everything he did. But his friends were always admiring, and he couldn't get enough of it. Every nice thing they said about his art made him feel like he was floating. It was better than any euphoria potion could ever be.

'Thanks, Pete.' Sirius said, turning away from the mural. He wanted to let the paint dry before he worked on the figures in the centre or he risked smudging it. 'How did you guys get on with the spell?'

'See for yourself,' James said, offering him the James sketch.

The little drawing of James was no longer stationary but stood in the middle of the blank space with one hand on his hip and the other running through his hair as he looked around with a bewildered expression. When the James-sketch noticed Sirius watching him, he grinned and waved before sticking his tongue out.

Sirius chuckled. 'It's so lifelike.'

'I know,' James said. 'Haven't been able to make it speak, though.'

'I don't think we really need them to.' Sirius turned to Remus. 'Can I see yours?'

Remus handed him the parchment with a chuckle, and when Sirius looked at it, he saw why. The sketch of Remus was the epitome of calm disinterest. Sitting with his back against the edge of the parchment, his full attention was on the book resting against his bent knees. The utter stillness of the image made it seem as though it had been drawn that way. That was until sketch-Remus raised his left hand and tucked his hair behind his ear in a perfect imitation of the real-life Remus.

Sirius barked a laugh. 'It's so you! What's yours doing, Pete? Please tell me it's produced some food from somewhere.'

Peter laughed. 'I wish. Is "enjoys food" even a personality trait?'

Remus hummed in thought. 'No, I don't think it is. James' sketch is looking around, agitated, but cheers up whenever someone looks at it. I think that's because he hates being alone and loves attention.'

'Hey!' James said.

'He's not wrong,' Sirius said. 'Own it.'

Remus ignored the interruption and continued. 'Mine is sitting reading a book because I like being alone, and I'm quick to accept my situation and make the best of it. And Peter's is—'

'No, don't tell me,' Sirius yelled, cutting him off. 'I want to see.'

Peter handed him the parchment without meeting his eyes. 'It's kind of embarrassing.'

Little sketch Peter was sitting on the bottom edge of the parchment hugging his knees. His whole body was visibly shaking, and his eyes darted about nervously. Sirius felt an immediate sense of empathy with the drawing, knowing exactly how it felt to be trapped and all alone.

'Oh, gods. Someone get me a quill. This is horrible,' he said.

Remus handed him a quill, and Sirius hurriedly added a sketch of James, Remus and himself to the parchment.

'Show me how to do the spell.'

Remus coached him through the process. It took him quite a long time, but he was eventually successful—his concern for the Peter-sketch motivating him to get it right. He was pleased to see that his sketch-self immediately went to comfort the frightened Peter-sketch when the spell finally took.

Peter was delighted with his animated Marauders sketch, and James and Remus asked him to add the rest of the group to their pictures too. Sirius drew a fourth picture for himself, and they all got in a bit more practice with the spell activating the drawings. Sirius tucked his away inside his History of Magic textbook to keep it from getting creased. The little part of his friends contained in the image would help him survive the summer holidays.

'You two should get some sleep,' James said. 'Pete and I will do the runes on the wood and decorate it. I reckon it'll be easier to do that before it's assembled.'

At the mention of sleep, Sirius yawned. He'd been on his feet most of the day, and the weariness reached right into his bones. 'That sounds really good, actually.'

The second night in the tent proved to be just as comfortable as the first, and Sirius woke refreshed and ready to finish the mural. James and Peter had worked hard during the night, and the slabs of wood were roughly carved with all the necessary runes and some rudimentary decoration. It was hardly professional looking, but it would do the job, and that's what really mattered.

After eating, Remus, James and Peter set to work assembling the box, and Sirius returned to the wall to paint the figures in the mural. By mid-afternoon the mural was finished, the magical container was ready, and all that was left to do was add a part of themselves.

It proved to be a little more difficult with the mural than it had been with the sketches, but one by one, they brought the images to life. Remus' was predictably first. His likeness blinked and stretched, before rising, rather gracelessly, to his feet and looking around the clearing with interest. He raised an eyebrow at the three frozen figures still seated on the grass, then shrugged and made himself comfortable on the ground at the edge of the clearing with his back against a tree.

Sirius returned his attention to his own image and concentrated. The process was straightforward but surprisingly challenging to achieve. First, find your magical core. That part was easy, they did it all the time in class. Second, search your core for the spark that embodies everything you are. That part was a little harder, but they managed it reasonably quickly. It was the third part that gave them all some trouble; once you find your spark, focus in on it and allow yourself to feel everything that makes up who you are. And fourth, once you have the feeling, let it flow out through your wand and into the painting.

Since Remus had taught him to meditate, Sirius had been practising regularly. Maybe not as often as he should, but he tried to do it at least once a week. So he was familiar with the process of focusing internally. It was a little different honing in on his core instead of melting into his mind, but it felt similar, and that definitely made it easier.

Focusing in on the spark at the centre of his core, Sirius allowed the sense of his being to flow through him. The bulk of the feeling was a sense of warmth; it was the canvas that the masterpiece known as Sirius Black was painted on. And he knew it to be loyalty. He'd been surprised when he first identified it. Not realising he even possessed the quality before he arrived at Hogwarts, nevermind that it was his most dominant trait. But when he thought of his friends, it made sense. He wouldn't hesitate to jump in front of a wand for any one of them.

Laced throughout the heat—making up the background—there was an ache, a deep longing, to prove himself good. He knew this was where his bravery stemmed from, and he was grateful for it. Without it, he wouldn't have been placed in Gryffindor and would never have found the happiness he had now.

On the surface lay an itchiness; a need to always be doing something fun or exciting. It was the part that made him reckless and got him into so much trouble. He used to hate that part of himself, but since meeting James, he'd learnt to stop fighting against it and instead harness and embrace it. Mostly for rule-breaking, but still.

Dotted throughout, making up the details, there were hints of pain and touches of something that felt like hope. They were too small to identify, but he acknowledged them, letting each sensation flow down to his wand and into the painting on the cave wall.

His likeness perked up. His eyes darting around and zeroing in on Remus sat under the tree. Sirius chuckled when he saw Remus' doppelganger had managed to locate a book from somewhere and was oblivious to his painting self's presence. Painting-Sirius rose to his feet slowly and crept towards Remus in a half-crouch. When he was inches away, with his face right behind Remus' book, he took a deep breath and opened his mouth. No sound emerged, but Remus jumped and smacked painting-Sirius in the face with the book.

Sirius laughed as his likeness jumped around, clutching his nose, tears streaming down his face.

Peter's likeness had come to life at some point during the attack on Remus, and he rushed to help painting-Sirius, offering him a tissue for his bloody nose. Painting-Remus got to his feet, pulled out his wand and waved it. A swirl of colour flew from the end and hit painting-Sirius in the face. He lowered his hands, smiling, his nose had been fixed. Episkey didn't look anything like that in reality, but—Sirius mentally shrugged—artistic licence.

James' doppelganger finally joined the others a few minutes later. He was not one for introspection and had the most difficulty with the spell out of all of them. With all the inhabitants of the mural awake, Remus performed the spell to pack the painting into the magical container.

It took him multiple attempts to get it right, but when he did, the sight was mesmerising. The ink and paint floated off the wall, swirling together in a cloud of colour which was somehow mixed all up together and distinctly separate at the same time. The cloud streamed into the box, and the lid slammed itself closed. The gift was ready.

They returned to the castle with a sense of trepidation. It had been easy to forget about it in the seclusion of the cave, but there was a slight chance their absence had been noticed. If it had, they would be in serious trouble. It had been bad enough when they'd been missing for a single lesson, never mind an entire weekend. They saw no signs the castle was in search mode on their way back to Gryffindor tower, though. All was calm, and they reached their dorm without incident, immediately stashing the box inside James' underwear drawer and issuing instructions to Cosmo to guard it.

By Monday morning, Remus was already showing signs of the coming full moon. Sirius did his best to distract the others, and it worked for a while. James was easy, his mind flitted about so much anyway, but Peter was more difficult.

His luck ran out in Herbology on Tuesday morning. He'd been doing so well, but his attempts at redirection were no longer enough when Remus could barely stand upright to prune his flitterbloom bush.

'Are you okay?' Sirius heard Peter whisper to Remus. 'You look terrible.'

'Hey, Peter. Watch this,' Sirius said, thinking fast. He pulled out his wand and transfigured James' notes into a tiny broomstick before flying it around the room with the levitation charm.

'Hold on, Sirius,' Peter said, leaning in closer to Remus. He whispered something Sirius couldn't hear, and Remus nodded.

Peter straightened up. 'Back in a sec. Remus needs to go to the hospital wing; he's sick. Just gonna tell Professor Sprout.'

'What's up, mate?' James asked. 'You're looking very pale.'

'Dunno,' Remus said. 'Maybe it was being in the cave all weekend. I just feel really weak and tired.'

Peter returned before Sirius could say anything in reply.

'Right, come on then. Let's get you to Pomfrey.'

'I can take him,' Sirius said quickly.

Peter picked up Remus' battered and overfilled bag and shook his head. 'No, I've got it. I'm done with my bush anyway; you still have loads to do.'

Remus was already on his way out of the door, and Peter didn't give Sirius a chance to argue before he followed after him. Sirius was left standing in the greenhouse, not quite knowing what had happened. It had all been so fast. One minute Remus was there, and there was plenty of time, and the next, he was gone. And Sirius didn't even get to say goodbye. Or find a way to secretly say good luck, I hope you don't get hurt.

The rest of the day dragged by. Remus hadn't looked good when he left, and Sirius was worried sick about him. Had he overdone it this month using so much magic? Would that make the transformation harder for him? Would the wolf be angry because of it? The questions swimming through his head were endless, and he wanted to scream. It was a relief when dinner time finally arrived.

James wanted them to head into the forest as soon as they'd eaten, so they could get to the clearing before it got dark and find a good position to watch from. He didn't want to risk them arriving at the wrong moment and startling the mooncalves before they danced. It made sense, but it caused a problem for Sirius. He knew that Remus and Madam Pomfrey would be heading down to the Whomping Willow around six o'clock and he didn't want James and Peter to see anything odd, so he ate fast in the hopes of being across the grounds and in the forest before Remus came outside.

Thankfully, James and Peter were just as eager to get going, and Sirius saw no sign of Remus and Madam Pomfrey as they passed the Whomping Willow. Once they were inside the treeline they stopped.

'Since Remus isn't here, I guess we'll all have to try to cast the charm, and hope one of us gets it,' James said.

Sirius had anticipated this, knowing that Remus wouldn't be able to make the trip, and had been practising the charm whenever he was alone. So he held his hand out flat and placed his wand on it, saying, 'Loco ad Locum.' James and Peter copied him.

It didn't work the first time like he'd been hoping it would, but after a few attempts Sirius's wand spun around on the palm of his hand, stopping when the tip was level with his ring finger, and they set off, pausing periodically to check they were still going the right way. They reached the clearing just as the sun was setting and found themselves a comfortable spot opposite the mooncalves' burrow. After covering themselves with the invisibility cloak, they settled in to wait.

An hour and a half after moonrise, the creatures finally emerged, noses twitching, into the moonlight. The bulging eyes were what Sirius noticed first; they looked silver in the moonlight, but he knew from his Defence lessons that they were blue. They had cute, flat little faces perched atop long necks, and fat bodies with short spindly legs. Sirius kind of wanted to take one home as a pet, Cosmo wouldn't know what to make of it. The mooncalves spread out throughout the meadow and, one by one, rose onto their hind legs and began to dance.

Sirius had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing, and he could feel James and Peter on either side of him shaking slightly as they both struggled equally hard to control themselves. The mooncalves looked absurd. Their legs didn't look strong enough to support their bodies when they were standing on four of them, but on two, they looked like they might snap at any second. With their noses pointed straight up at the sky, they wiggled their necks in the air and waddled around the meadow in random patterns. Sirius watched with anticipation, expecting at any moment for one or more of the weird little creatures to topple over. But they never did.

Twenty minutes later, the dance was over, and the mooncalves returned to their burrow, leaving the three Marauders alone in the silence of the dark clearing.

'Let's get the grass and get out of here,' James whispered, pulling off the cloak. 'This place is so creepy at night.'

'Lumos,' Sirius said. His wand tip lit up, and he shone it around the clearing. 'Huh. Guess their dance wasn't random at all. Look.'

Trodden into the grass of the meadow was a perfectly symmetrical pattern.

'Well, that makes it easy,' James said, crouching down and plucking seven blades of grass from a trodden patch. Peter dug in his pocket for the bottle, and James placed the grass inside.

'Can we go now?' Peter asked, pulling out his wand. His eyes were darting around nervously, never settling in one spot for more than a heartbeat.

James armed himself and nodded. 'Yeah. The castle's this way.'

James strolled back into the trees, and Sirius and Peter followed him, trusting his tendency to plan everything to the tiniest detail meant he knew where he was going. It took another half an hour before they emerged from the forest to the welcome sight of Hogwarts. Only a few of the many windows were lit, but the ones that were shone like a beacon through the night.

Sirius let out a relieved breath. They were home.


	35. Chapter 34

Wednesday, 1st March 1972

As Remus became aware of himself again the morning after the full moon, he did his usual mental assessment before opening his eyes and was pleasantly surprised. There was the typical residual pain from the transformation, but nothing extra. He was fine. What's more, when he looked out the window to gauge the time, he could tell it was still early. He let out a relieved breath. As full moons went, it had been an easy one.

After assuring himself that death wasn't imminent, Remus' thoughts went to his friends. Since he felt so much better than usual, there was no point in wasting time with more sleeping. He grabbed his bag, putting on his Crest before pulling out his school robes to get dressed. It was painful, contorting his body to get into the clothes, but he was determined. If he could prove to Madam Pomfrey he was fine, she might let him leave. And he wanted to make sure the others were okay after they had gone tramping through the forest the night before.

He put his socks and shoes on and strapped his Marauder-issue holster around his waist. There was nothing left to do but wait. He couldn't go out to the main wing without knowing who was out there. Someone might see him and start asking awkward questions.

Madam Pomfrey arrived to check on him an hour later, raising an eyebrow at finding him up, dressed and eager to leave.

'Our experiment seems to have been a success,' she said. 'You had no injuries when I collected you this morning. Your clothes got muddy in the passageway, though. It almost looked like someone had trampled over them. I gave them a clean for you, but maybe put them in your bag next month before you drop them down.'

Remus wasn't listening. All he wanted to know was whether he was allowed to leave, but he nodded. 'Thanks. Can I go then? If I'm okay?'

She frowned at him. 'Do you feel well enough to leave? You weren't injured, but you must still be hurting.'

Remus nodded again and offered her a Sirius-inspired grin. 'I feel fine,' he lied.

She didn't look convinced, but she relented. 'I want you to drink your shake first, and then you can leave. No class until tomorrow though.'

Remus didn't argue. The nutrition shake was the highlight of his month, and one minute after midnight counted as tomorrow, right? He could go to Astronomy later.

When Madam Pomfrey finally released him, Remus returned to his dorm and collapsed onto his bed. There was nothing he could do about his friends until lunchtime. If they'd made it out of the forest in one piece, they'd be in class. If not, he had no way of finding out they were missing until they were… Well, missing. Laying down made him realise he was still quite tired, and the idea of sleeping a little until his friends finished Charms seemed rather appealing. Cosmo made the decision for him when she leapt onto the bed and curled up on his stomach, purring. There was no way he could move now. Everyone knows when a cat claims you as their bed, you're stuck there until they deem you released.

When Remus woke for the second time that day, it was much more sudden than the first time. He wasn't sure what had woken him until he heard the whispered voices of his friends.

'Is he there?' James asked.

'Yeah, but he's sleeping,' Sirius replied.

'But Madam Pomfrey said he was fine,' Peter said. 'Why's he sleeping if he's fine?'

'You know Remus.' There was a pause which Remus imagined was Sirius shrugging. 'He probably insisted he was fine, so she'd let him go to class, and then realised he wasn't when he started climbing the stairs.'

Sirius' guess was so accurate, and Remus' relief at hearing they were alive and well was so strong, that he couldn't hold in the chuckle and gave himself away.

'Hey, he's awake, the little faker!' James said. The bed curtains were yanked open, and he was suddenly surrounded by the smiling faces of his friends.

'Hey, Nerd Boy,' Sirius said, smiling at him. 'You feeling better?'

Remus smiled back. 'Tonnes.'

'Shove over then,' James said. 'We have to tell you about last night.'

'Do you want one?' Peter asked, sitting down at the end of his bed and offering him his box of chocolate frogs. 'My mum sent me a parcel of sweets at breakfast. I've got loads.'

'Really, Pete? We just had lunch,' Sirius said, taking his seat next to Remus and looking at him. His eyes flashed with some unnamed emotion. 'Ah, but you missed lunch, didn't you? Too busy sleeping. You should have some chocolate.' He grabbed a chocolate frog from the box, unwrapped it and offered it to Remus once it had stopped wriggling. Remus took it while giving Sirius a questioning look. He was being even weirder than usual.

'If everyone is done stuffing their faces with junk…?' James said, frowning at the chocolate.

'Sorry, James. Please, tell me about last night,' Remus said, taking another frog when Peter offered him the box.

'It was a dark and starry night,' James said. 'The full moon hung high in the sky, casting an eerie glow over the grounds of Hogwarts as three brave and handsome wizards left for a thrilling adventure…'

'It was still light when we left,' Sirius said.

James shushed him. 'Not important, don't interrupt.'

It began as a story, but it soon turned into a play when James and Sirius jumped to their feet and proceeded to act out everything he'd missed the night before. The impromptu performance included a lot of arguing; a fair amount of embellishment—he was positive they hadn't fought off the acromantula on their way home, purely because Peter wasn't a blubbering mess; and a large helping of comedy. Particularly when they did an impression of the mooncalves' dance. Remus didn't think he'd ever laughed so much in his life, and he found laughter was almost as good as chocolate for healing the aches and pains of his transformation.

Three days later, the four Marauders were preparing to travel through the frigid morning air to the far side of the Great Lake so they could meet with the merpeople without witnesses.

'Remus, can I borrow one of your thingies?' Sirius asked after rummaging through his trunk for several minutes.

Remus raised an eyebrow at the nonsensical enquiry. 'One of my thingies?'

Sirius grinned, showing not a shred of embarrassment. 'You know. The muggle clothes you wear all the time. They look cosy, and I only have my robes and cloaks.'

'Oh, you mean a jumper,' Remus said, laughing. 'Sure, they might be too small, though.'

Remus searched through his own trunk and found two of the biggest, baggiest jumpers he owned. 'Do you want one too, James?'

'Have you got any red ones?' James asked.

'I doubt it,' Peter said, laughing. 'Have you ever seen Remus wear anything bright? I've got a red one that might fit you though.'

Remus offered the two jumpers to Sirius, and he tried them both on before choosing the smoky grey one. It was a superb choice; the colour brought out the shine in his eyes, even if it was a little tight on him. Sirius didn't seem to care about the snug fit, declaring it the most comfortable thing he'd ever worn.

It took them over an hour of walking to reach the far side of the lake, and they passed the time by making plans for their sleepover at James' in the summer. Sirius was planning to buy several baggy jumpers of his own on their trip into London. Peter and Remus were looking forward to introducing James and Sirius to all things muggle, and they were equally excited to learn.

'Can we go in a car?' Sirius asked out of nowhere.

'Sirius,' James hissed. 'Be a bit more considerate.'

'What?' Sirius asked, his face confused. James shot a meaningful look at Remus and understanding dawned in Sirius' eyes. 'Oh, shit. Sorry, Remus. Didn't think.'

'No, it's okay,' Remus said, chuckling. 'I'm not afraid of cars. Don't think we'll be able to go in one though.'

'Damn,' Sirius said. 'I really wanted to go in a car.'

James looked thoughtful. 'Do you still have one? Maybe we can come round yours some time.'

Remus nodded. 'I do. And yeah, maybe.' He doubted that would ever happen, though. How on earth would he explain the cage in the garden or the state of his room?

They reached their destination, and Peter pulled out the wireless from his bag. Remus had waterproofed it the night before, and they'd tied a long piece of string to the handle so they could pull it back if the merpeople didn't turn up.

'What sort of music do you think?' Peter asked.

'Hard to say,' Sirius said. 'I'd suggest something fast and upbeat, so we get a young one, but who knows what their tastes are?'

'Just tune it into something that's got lots of variety and no boring talking,' James said.

Peter did as instructed, and James jacked the volume up before throwing the wireless out into the lake as far as the string would allow. It sank under the surface, and they sat down on the bank to wait, hoping their plan would work.

Remus wasn't sure how long they'd been waiting, but he knew it was a long time because his ass was numb from sitting on the cold ground and he'd lost all feeling in his nose quite some time ago. But finally, there was movement on the surface of the lake.

'Did you see that?' he asked, sitting forward to get a better look.

'I saw something,' Peter said, squinting at the lake. 'But I'm not sure what.'

James stood up and took a step closer. 'I don't see… no wait! What was that!'

Whatever it was broke the surface again before ducking straight back under. But this time Remus got a better look, and it was definitely head-shaped.

'If it's a merperson,' Remus said, 'we should let them know we're not here to hurt them.'

'On it,' Sirius said before bouncing to his knees and shoving his entire head into the water. Bubbles streamed to the surface around Sirius' submerged head as he attempted to communicate. Finally, he pulled his head out and shook it, spraying all of them with icy sprinkles that felt like tiny knives.

'Fuck, that was cold,' he said. 'Talking underwater is harder than I thought, but I think they got the message.'

'You are _mental_ ,' Remus said, shaking his head at Sirius and passing him the towel they'd brought along for this very purpose.

'Thanks, Nerd Boy,' Sirius said, wrapping the towel around his head and winking at him. 'I don't see why you should get all the fun.'

Remus rolled his eyes with exasperation. He'd volunteered as translator because the lycanthropy meant he was the least likely to receive any lasting damage from repeatedly plunging his head into the freezing cold water. But it certainly wasn't "fun."

And he really hoped this new nickname Sirius had adopted didn't stick.

Sirius' cold head was not in vain. He was still drying his hair when a grey-skinned head with long green hair broke the surface of the lake. The mermaid held up the wireless—which was still playing music at an ear-splitting volume—and smiled at them. Remus took that as a good sign.

Sirius started winding in the string attached to the wireless, and James stepped forward to take the lead in the negotiations. 'Good morning. Can you understand me?' he asked.

The mermaid nodded, so James continued, 'That's wonderful. This would have been so difficult if you couldn't. We're hoping to make a trade with you. My friend here is going to put his head in the water so we can understand you.' James nodded at Remus, and Remus waved. And then felt a little stupid for doing so.

The mermaid waved back at him, though, and then ducked back under the water. Remus gulped. He really wasn't looking forward to this.

'Don't worry. The water's lovely,' Sirius said, giving him a thumbs-up.

Remus flipped him the middle finger before approaching the water's edge and lowering himself to the ground.

'If it gets too much, just say,' Peter said. 'Sirius can take over for you.'

'I like how you volunteer me and not yourself,' Sirius said, giving Peter a gentle shove.

'Behave,' James hissed at them. 'We're on an important mission here.'

Remus heard nothing more because he dunked his head in the lake at that point in the argument. And oh by Merlin's baggiest underpants the water was freezing! It was so cold it burned like fire, and he had to fight the urge to gasp.

'Hello,' a tinkling voice said, and Remus put all of his energy into focusing on the voice through the pain in his rapidly freezing head. 'My name's Amaria. I can see you're in pain, so I'll make this quick. I'm open to trading with you. What are your terms?'

Remus yanked his head back out the moment she stopped speaking and gasped for breath.

Sirius draped the towel over Remus' shoulders. 'Wakes you right up that, doesn't it?'

Remus gave him the benefit of his scowl before turning to James. 'She's called Amaria, and she's willing to trade. Wants to know the terms,' he told him through chattering teeth.

James clapped his hands together. 'Excellent.' He turned back to the lake to find Amaria waiting for him and looking at Remus with concern.

'Hello, Amaria. My name's James, and it's a pleasure to meet you. This is Sirius, Remus and Peter.' James pointed to each of them as he said their names. 'We're hoping you'll agree to give us five scales from your tail, which we need for a potion we're brewing. And we know that's a lot to ask. We spent weeks trying to find something of equal value to give you in return, but nothing was good enough. So we made you something instead.'

Peter stepped forward, holding the roughly carved wooden box. It looked a bit pathetic to be honest, and Remus wouldn't have been surprised if Amaria took immediate offence at the offering and left. But she didn't. She eyed the box with a questioning expression and patiently waited for James to explain.

'I know it doesn't look like much,' James said. 'But this box is the magical container for a painting. A mural. Painted by hand by Sirius.'

Sirius grinned and bowed to Amaria, and she made a sound that might have been a giggle.

'The painting shows a landscape you won't ever have seen before. A beautiful clearing deep inside the forest.'

Gods, James was laying it on thick.

'But that's not all. Because we're asking for a part of you, we wanted to give you a part of ourselves in exchange. So Sirius added us to the clearing, and we each used our magic to imprint our personalities into the painting.'

Sirius winked at Amaria. 'They'll act just like us.'

She smiled and nodded before shooting a meaningful look at Remus and ducking under the surface again.

Remus sighed and returned his head to the water. And, yes, it was still just as bloody cold as the first time.

'Hello, Remus,' Amaria said in her strangely musical voice. 'I accept your terms. Can you explain to me how to use the box, please?'

Remus pulled his head back out and grabbed the towel from Sirius. 'Oh Gods, my ears are burning!' he said, wrapping the towel around his head and pressing his hands against his ears in an effort to warm them. Looking up, he saw James bouncing on his toes, clearly dying to know what Amaria had said but trying very hard to be patient and let Remus recover before he asked. Remus appreciated the effort it must be taking to hold himself back.

'She agreed. Wants to know how to work the box.'

Remus retreated to sit down and dry his hair as much as he could while James explained to Amaria how to work the box. His head was already feeling warmer, but he didn't know if that was because of the lycanthropy, so wasn't sure if he should pretend like he was still cold.

A loud shrieking called his attention back to the lake. Amaria was waving at him, so he waved back, and she dived under the water, flicking her tail and splashing the three boys still standing on the bank, making them yell.

'Does she want to talk again?' Remus asked. He tried to keep the trepidation out of his voice, but a little seeped through.

James shook his head. 'Sirius took care of it.'

Remus looked at Sirius, and sure enough, he was dripping wet again and shaking like a cauldron about to explode. Remus tossed him the towel, and Sirius caught it with one hand and wrapped it around his head gratefully.

'She's going to swim home and activate the painting. Then, if she's satisfied, she'll bottle the scales for us and meet us at the other side of the lake,' James explained.

'She'll be satisfied,' Sirius said, oozing a confidence Remus was fairly sure he didn't feel. It didn't quite reach his eyes.

'How could she not be?' Remus asked. 'The mural's breathtaking. She'll love it.'

As it turned out, Remus was right. When they reached the other side of the lake and approached the bank, Amaria was waiting for them just below the surface. She was all smiles and held up the vial to show them before tossing it through the air for them to catch. Unfortunately, she was terrible at throwing—Remus supposed there wasn't much call for the skill living underwater—and the vial plopped back into the lake, falling short of the bank by a large margin.

Amaria frowned and looked at them apologetically. The vial had landed at a point that was too shallow for her to risk swimming to, but too far for them to reach without getting wet. Remus felt bad for her. She looked upset that she'd messed up the throw.

'Not to worry, Amaria,' he said. 'I can get it.'

'Are you sure?' Sirius asked. 'I could…'

Remus was sorely tempted to accept the offer. Dunking his head had been bad enough, and he wasn't exactly thrilled to enter the lake up to his knees, but he could withstand the cold water far better than Sirius could. He wouldn't be a coward.

He didn't bother replying, but let his actions speak for him as he removed his socks and shoes, and waded into the lake. Within seconds his feet were numb, and he was worried he'd pull them out to find his toes had frozen off. But he ignored the pain and waded over to where the vial sat just beneath the surface, sparkling when it caught the light.

Putting his hand into the icy water was almost as bad as his feet, but not quite. And he pulled out the vial and returned to the bank as fast as he could on feet he could no longer feel. He passed the vial to James and took the towel from Sirius to dry his legs, but before he sat down, he turned back to the lake and waved.

'Thank you, Amaria,' he said. 'I hope we see each other again.'

The others also called out goodbyes, and Amaria smiled and waved before disappearing beneath the water.

'I'd call that a great success,' Sirius said. 'But let's get the hell back to the dorm. I need a hot shower.'

'You read my mind,' Remus said. His wet trousers were clinging to his legs unpleasantly. 'A hot shower sounds like heaven.'

Sirius opened his mouth, but Remus, knowing what was coming, got there first. 'And, no. I _don't_ want to share.'

Sirius looked at him with surprise. 'Looks like I'm going to have to up my game again, Nerd Boy. You're getting used to me.'

 _Dammit_ , that was _not_ the outcome Remus had been hoping for.

'We've got everything we need,' James said, interrupting them before Remus could think of a suitable response. 'Can we start tomorrow?'

Peter shook his head. 'Not next weekend either. We'll need a full two days to complete the first part. It's too late now to do it this weekend, and we're fighting in the sand-wars tournament next week. Anyway, Gryffindor's playing Hufflepuff tomorrow, you don't want to miss that.'

'I am _not_ coming,' Remus said before they could start trying to persuade him.

'Ah, go on, Remus. It'll be fun,' James said. 'You have your gloves and hood.'

'Nope,' Remus said, proud of himself for not giving in. 'It's loud and smelly and boring.'

James' eyes widened. 'Boring? How can you say that?'

'Quite easily,' Remus said. 'Anyway, I'm going to spend some time with Lily tomorrow. We arranged it in Defence yesterday. So you can all go to the game and not worry about me being lonely.'

James' face morphed from shocked and outraged to excited in the blink of an eye. 'Will you put in a good word for me?'

Remus laughed. 'I'll try, mate, but she _really_ doesn't like you.'

The Marauders didn't spend much time in the common room, and that wasn't entirely Remus' fault. Though his "fear" of being touched played a large role, there was also the fact that they often had secret things to discuss and they didn't want to be overheard. So, Remus felt a little out of place the next morning when, after waving his friends off to the quidditch match, he took a seat on the sofa in front of the blazing fire to wait for Lily.

She didn't keep him waiting long. A few minutes after he got settled, she skipped down the girl's staircase with Dorcas, Marlene and Mary. Remus' stomach flipped over as he wondered if Lily's friends would be joining them. Lily was nice, but he didn't know the other girls. It would be awkward for him if they did. So it was with a sense of relief that he watched Lily accompany her friends to the exit and say goodbye before joining Remus by the fire.

'They going to watch the quidditch?' Remus asked as she took a seat at the opposite end of the sofa, tucking her feet beneath her.

'Yeah. It's boring if you ask me.'

Remus couldn't agree more. 'And dangerous.'

Lily laughed. 'Right? I spent the whole of the last game scared they were going to fall off their brooms. I swore then I'm never watching another match.'

'Falling is a very real danger.'

'Oh, that's right. You fell off during the flying lesson, didn't you?' Lily said. 'Was it terrifying?'

Remus shuddered. 'So terrifying. I don't even want to think about it.'

'I'm sorry. We'll talk about something else,' Lily said, looking guilty for mentioning it. 'Tell me what you've been up to lately.'

Remus thought about all the things he'd been doing recently that he couldn't tell her about. Trading with a mermaid. Witnessing the formation of a magical bond between centaur and human. Sneaking into Hogsmeade to buy ingredients to brew an illicit potion.

'Not a lot. Schoolwork, mostly. You?'

'Lies!' Lily said. 'I bet you get up to all sorts with those friends of yours. You're always hidden away in your dorm together. Plotting, I'm sure. You probably have some kind of code that means you can't tell me anything.'

'What? No,' Remus said, surprised by her accuracy. 'We just play games and stuff. The common room is always so crowded.'

'Ha! I'm right, aren't I?' She whipped out her wand and pointed it at him before saying in a deadly serious voice, 'Tell me your secrets, or I'll hex them out of you.'

Remus instinctively grabbed his own wand to defend himself as his insides went cold. He hadn't expected this from Lily, and he clenched his fist as he tried to process the betrayal.

'I won't tell you anything,' he said. 'But I'll defend myself, so consider that before you do anything stupid.'

Something strange happened then. Lily started laughing, dropping her wand in her lap and covering her mouth with her hand.

'I was kidding, Remus,' she said through her giggles. 'I'm sorry. Are you not used to teasing?'

Remus felt his face warm and lowered his wand. 'No, not really. Sirius likes to tease, but it's not like _that_.'

'Yeah,' she said, frowning a little. 'Black seems like the teasing type.'

'He is. But that's not a _bad_ thing, is it?' Remus gestured towards her. 'Apparently, you like teasing people too.'

'I never said it was a bad thing. I just worry they're being mean to you, bullying you into doing things you don't want to.'

Remus snorted at the idea of his friends being mean to him and shook his head. 'I don't understand why you think they're like that. They're not. _At all_. You'd like them if you gave them a chance.'

Lily arched her eyebrow at him. 'I doubt I would like them, anyway, but how can I "give them a chance" with what they do to Sev? It's bad enough that I'm still friends with you after you hit him with that boil hex the other day. I can't go and intentionally make friends with people that attack him for no reason.'

'They _always_ have a reason, Lily.'

Lily rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. 'Not liking someone is not a reason, _Remus_.'

Remus had no defence for that. He couldn't tell her about all the times they'd seen Snape attacking other students with his older Slytherin friends because they'd been under the cloak and he couldn't explain how they hadn't been spotted.

Instead, he held up his hands in surrender. 'Alright. I don't want to fight about this again. You don't like my friends. We don't like Snape. But that doesn't have to stop _us_ being friends, does it?'

Lily sighed. 'No, you're right. I'm sorry.'

'I'm sorry too. Now, how about a game of exploding snap?' Remus said, rummaging in his bag for the cards.

-o-o-o-o-

Gryffindor's match against Hufflepuff was close. The Chasers on the Hufflepuff team were far superior to Gryffindor's. But Gryffindor's Seeker managed to catch the snitch when Gryffindor was only behind by 130 points, netting Gryffindor the win.

James and Peter were in high spirits as they trekked back to the castle from the quidditch pitch. But Sirius had something else on his mind. He knew Remus' car accident story was a cover for his lycanthropy. Finding out it had happened when he was only four had come as a shock. And the anniversary falling less than a month before Remus' birthday made Sirius suspect that the fifth-birthday party he'd been invited to all those years ago never happened, nor any other since. But Remus had friends now, and Sirius was determined that they would throw him the best birthday bash anyone had ever seen.

'Guys,' he said, pulling James and Peter to one side of the crowd. 'We need to talk about something while Remus isn't here.'

James frowned at him. 'We don't keep secrets from each other. What's this about?'

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Remus' birthday, idiot. What did you think it was about?'

James' face went from suspicious to alarmed. 'Oh shit. That's soon, isn't it? I'd forgotten all about it with all the work for the project.'

'We've still got time to plan something,' Peter said. 'Remus won't want anything big, anyway.'

They didn't get very far with the planning that day, other than to all agree Remus would prefer something small and private to big, loud and crowded. When they reached the Tower, the common room was packed with celebrating Gryffindors. Lily spotted them standing by the portrait hole, looking around, and shouted that Remus had, 'fled upstairs,' the moment people started returning. After thanking her for the information, they shouldered their way through the crowd to hunt down their missing friend.

Hours later, when curfew had come and gone and Remus and Peter were snoring softly, Sirius and James were still full of energy and wide awake. Back when their dorm mates had fallen asleep, they'd retreated to James' bed to talk, but that had been over an hour ago, and they were running out of things to discuss.

'Let's go raid the kitchen,' Sirius whispered. 'I'm hungry.'

'I don't know,' James said. 'We should probably get some sleep. It's Monday tomorrow.'

'Sleep is for the weak!' Sirius declared. 'Adventure is for the strong. Come on. It'll be fun.'

James hesitated, but after a moment he grinned. 'Fuck it.' He grabbed the invisibility cloak and his snitch-o-scope and followed Sirius out of the room. It never took much to persuade James into doing something against the rules.

The kitchen raid was successful—they called it a raid, but really it was fending off overly helpful house-elves as they plied them with food—it was the return journey where things got interesting. The snitch-o-scope lit up red halfway up the Grand Staircase, so they took a detour onto the fourth floor and ran down several corridors before stopping to catch their breath.

'James?'

'Yeah?'

'Why did we run?'

James looked at him like he'd lost his mind. 'Because we're out after curfew with a shit-tonne of illicit food, and the snitch-o-scope said there was an adult nearby?'

'So why didn't we just put on the cloak?' Sirius asked, pointing at the cloak draped over James' arm.

James blinked at him, looked at the cloak, looked back at him, and laughed. 'Because we're idiots?'

'Yes, we are,' Sirius said. 'And I for one vote we don't tell the others about this.'

'Agreed,' James said, holding his hand out for Sirius to shake.

They draped the cloak over themselves and began the journey back to the Grand Staircase when James stopped dead. 'Was that door there before?'

The door James was pointing at was a standard classroom door, but instead of a classroom number, the sign read _Authorised Persons Only_. 'I'm not sure,' he said before pulling the cloak off to get a better look. The door vanished.

'Hey, it's gone.'

'It's not. I can still see it,' James said.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. 'A door that can only be seen by the invisible? Interesting.'

James pulled the cloak off. 'What do you reckon is in there?'

'Only one way to find out,' Sirius said.

James pulled the cloak back over his head, and a moment later, an opening appeared in the wall where Sirius knew the door to be. The space inside was pitch-black.

'I can see it now,' he told James. 'Guess it's just the door that's enchanted.'

James pulled the cloak off and tucked it into his pocket. 'Shall we investigate?'

'I think that's the best idea you've had all evening.'

They both pulled out their wands and cast Lumos before walking inside.

Five days later, on the morning of Remus' birthday, Sirius waited until James was showering before taking the opportunity to whisper, 'Happy birthday.'

That may seem like odd behaviour, but there was a reason for the secrecy. After the success of Sirius Day, it had been decided (by James) that all Marauders deserved a whole day devoted to celebrating their birthday. And therefore, the actual birthdays should be ignored unless they fell on a non-school day. It was a good idea, in theory. Friday's were busy, and they needed lots of time for the birthday surprise they'd planned for Remus after finding the invisible door. But even though Remus knew they were celebrating on Sunday, it felt uncomfortable to ignore the day altogether. So Sirius had waited for an opportunity, and he won himself a conspiratorial smile and a whispered, 'Thank you,' in return.

On James' orders, they all got an early night on Friday so they'd be well-rested for their Sand-War matches the following day. Nobody complained about it. They would be fighting against much older students this time, and they were all nervous about their chances.

They arrived at the beach room on Saturday morning to a much larger crowd than there had been for their first heat. People were more interested in the upper-year matches, and there was a mixed audience from all four houses as hopeful semi-finalists turned out to inspect the potential competition.

The Marauders' first battle wasn't scheduled until after lunch, but they stuck around to watch the morning matches and gauge what they'd be up against. It didn't fill them with confidence. The upper-year teams were strong, having connections with their teammates going back years, not mere months, and they knew more spells and cast them with more skill and accuracy than the Marauders were capable of.

'I'm not liking our chances,' Sirius said during the lunch break. 'They're going to wipe the floor with us.'

'It doesn't look good,' James agreed. 'We'll just have to do our best and hope we don't embarrass ourselves too much.'

'I'm not sure we can embarrass ourselves at this point,' Remus said. 'Even if we're knocked out first.'

Peter nodded. 'He's right. We beat all the first, second and third year teams to make it this far. No one's going to think badly of us for losing to people more than three years older than us.'

'So, everyone's agreed we can't win this?' Remus asked, and they all nodded. Remus' face broke out in the most mischievous grin. 'How about we show them a little of who we are instead?'

The grin spread around the circle like it was infectious, and they all leaned forward, eager to conspire.

'What did you have in mind?' James asked.

An hour later, after a quick dash up to Gryffindor Tower, Sirius and James strode into the lower level of their sandcastle, while Remus and Peter climbed upstairs. But not before shooting each other one last conspiratorial grin. Sirius' stomach was bubbling with excitement. This was going to be brilliant.

The Gryffindor prefect counted down to begin the battle, and spells started flying back and forth. Sirius ignored the few spells targeted at them and took a bottle of potion from his pocket, pulling out the stopper and holding it out in front of him. He cast wingardium leviosa and levitated the bottle out of the window and up into the air towards one of his opponent's castles. Moving his wand with precision, he positioned the bottle above one of the castle's four flags, tipped it up and poured out a small portion of the swelling solution, making sure it splashed over the flag. He waited with bated breath as the flag swelled in size until the weight of the material caused the flagpole to topple to the ground beside the castle, and the flag turned white.

It had worked!

He flicked his wand, moving the bottle to the next flag and repeating the process. He could see the flags on the other castles growing and falling out of the corner of his eye, but he concentrated on his own. The defenders on the other teams had realised what was happening and were attempting to fight back. Sirius had to keep jerking the bottle out of the way of spells as he tried to manoeuvre it to the last flag on his target castle. He was inches away from it when the bottle was hit by a jet of red light, and it shattered before the pieces fell to the ground. Bugger.

'No worries,' James said. 'I got it.'

Sirius glanced at the other two castles. Neither of them had any flags left, and the students inside them looked pissed. He looked back in time to see James' potion bottle empty out over the last flag, and he watched as it grew to a ridiculous size and toppled over onto the beach below.

By the stated rules of the game, they had won.

'This isn't fair,' a girl on one of the other teams yelled. 'They cheated!'

'There's nothing in the rules against using potions,' James yelled back.

'There's nothing in the rules that says you _can_ use potions.'

Sirius climbed out the window to face their accusers. 'We were outclassed in magical skill, so we improvised,' he said with a shrug. 'What's wrong with that?'

'You had plenty of opportunities to stop our attack,' Remus said, walking up to stand beside him.

'It's not our fault you didn't see us as a threat and ignored us,' James said, joining them on his other side.

'Maybe you should have taken more notice of us,' Peter said, coming to stand next to James.

The four Marauders stood united against the accusatory faces of the twelve students towering over them.

'Due to the events of this match, we will be taking a short break to discuss our decision before declaring the winner,' one of the prefects announced. 'We ask that all competitors please leave the battlefield. Thank you.'

With one last scowl at the four Marauders, the upper-year students returned to their friends. The boys followed them from the battlefield, moving a short distance away from the crowd so Remus would be comfortable.

'I can't believe how well that worked,' James said, laughing.

'I didn't think we'd win,' Remus said. 'It was only meant to keep us from being knocked out first.'

'Well, we might still be disqualified yet,' Sirius said. 'But whatever happens, it was brilliant, and I would do it again in a heartbeat.'

Peter chuckled. 'Did you see their faces when they realised what was happening?'

'Oh no, the flags are growing and falling over,' James said, flailing his arms around. 'Whatever shall we do?'

James' impression of their competitors was cut short by the prefect calling for everyone's attention.

'We are pleased to announce that, as no specified rules were broken, the Magical-Mischief-Makers are the winners!'

The audience erupted in a mixed chorus of boos and cheers. Sirius looked at Remus out of the corner of his eye and saw him wince at the cacophony of sound.

James glanced at them for confirmation, and all four of them nodded.

'We're delighted to have won,' James said in his clear, confident voice once the noise had died down, 'but we'd like to concede our place. It's unlikely our particular brand of… _improvisation_ will be allowed in the finals, and we want Gryffindor to have the best chance of winning.'

Sirius wouldn't have thought it possible, but the noise was even louder the second time. The Gryffindors in the audience went wild at the display of House Spirit, and they far outweighed the other houses. The truth was, they had a potion to brew, and once they started, they needed all their weekends free to work on it. Plus, it was nice to go out by choice. They probably would have lost the next match, anyway. This way, they went out as heroes instead of losers.

The next morning, they woke Remus with a shower of glitter, a rousing chorus of Happy Remus Day, and a fat slice of chocolate cake—James had begrudgingly relaxed his no sweets before breakfast rule in honour of Remus' special day. Once Remus was sufficiently embarrassed, they all clambered onto his bed to give him his presents.

Peter handed over his gift first. It was wrapped in silver paper, held closed with a black ribbon. Remus took it and thanked him before untying it carefully and pulling the paper off without ripping it. Inside was a large, glass potion bottle filled with a creamy yellow liquid.

'What is it?' Remus asked, gazing at the potion with a frown.

Peter pulled his sleeves down over his hands and fiddled with the ends. 'It's a potion I… er… invented? Well, I altered it.'

'What does it do?' Remus squinted at the bottle.

Peter looked down at his lap 'Um… well… I'm thinking this might have been a mistake now. I don't want to upset you on your birthday.'

Remus looked at him with concern. Then, to Sirius' surprise, he reached over and briefly placed his hand on Peter's pyjama-clad arm. Peter jerked his head up and stared at him with wide eyes.

'Just tell me what it does, Pete. Whatever it is, I know you meant it in the best possible way.'

Peter looked back down at his hands and whispered so quietly Sirius barely heard him, 'It's supposed to make scars fade.'

That was not what Sirius was expecting, and judging by the look on Remus' face, he was just as surprised.

'I'm sorry,' Peter said. 'I should have made something else. You don't want to think about that on your birthday. I'm an idiot. I've spoiled everything.'

Remus shook his head, still staring at the bottle. 'No,' he said, tearing his eyes away to look at Peter. 'I don't know what to say, this is… I like it, Pete. It's really thoughtful. I… How do I use it?'

Peter looked up at Remus. His eyes were swimming with tears, but he wiped them away and offered him a weak smile. 'It's an ointment. Just apply it twice a day.'

Remus nodded and met Peter's eyes. 'Thank you.'

'Well, that's going to be impossible to top,' James said, breaking the tension. He flung his arms out wide. 'For your birthday, I give you freedom from the thing you hate most! Peter should have gone last.'

Remus laughed. 'I'm sure I'll love your present just as much.'

James grinned. 'This whole homemade present thing was a bit unfair to me, really. Unless you'd like a flying demonstration, I don't have any special talents like these two.' He jerked his thumbs at Peter and Sirius. 'So I cheated a little. I didn't make it, but I didn't spend any money either. I already owned it, and you'll get more use out of it than I will. Here.'

James handed Remus a large gift wrapped in red paper with a gold ribbon. _Everything_ was Gryffindor colours with James. He was obsessed. Sirius got it to a certain extent; he was proud to be a Gryffindor too. But James took House Pride to the next level.

Remus was unwrapping James' present just as carefully as he'd opened Peter's, and Sirius couldn't take it anymore. 'Would you just rip it?' he asked. 'Why're you being so careful?'

'I… er… at home, we reuse the paper,' he said, blushing furiously, and not in the way Sirius enjoyed. 'We don't have a lot of money.'

Sirius felt like an absolute arse. He knew the Lupins were poor, but he didn't realise they were _that_ poor. And he'd embarrassed Remus on his birthday. Quite frankly, he wanted to punch himself in the face, but that wouldn't fix anything.

'Honestly,' he said, looking at James and Peter. 'Why do you allow me the use of my mouth? If there's a wrong thing to say, you know I'm going to say it.'

To Sirius' relief, Remus laughed. 'It's alright.' Then his face broke out in a wicked grin, and he ripped the paper in two. 'I've _always_ wanted to do that,' he said, still grinning.

Inside the parcel was a sleek, dragon-skin bag in charcoal grey, and Remus ran his hand over the material with reverence.

'It's beautiful,' he said. 'It must have been really expensive, though.'

James shrugged. 'Like I said, I already had it. It was a Christmas gift from an aunt I never see. But I already had a bag.' He nodded towards the lurid red and gold rucksack next to his bed. 'And I figured, why let it go to waste?'

James picked up the bag and opened it to show him the inside. 'It's designed for Hogwarts' students. Look, it's got all these pockets inside for your quills, ink, parchment, potion kit and different-sized books. And it's enchanted to be as light as a feather no matter how many heavy books you cram inside.'

Remus' face lit up at the last feature. 'Awesome.'

James wore a proud smile as he nodded. 'I knew you'd like that.' He looked at Sirius. 'So, Pete's given Remus more confidence, I've cured his backache. What's your gift?'

Sirius stuck his tongue out at James. 'Wait and see.'

'It's a painting,' James said with a knowing smile and a firm nod. 'Expect a painting, Remus.'

Sirius put his foot against James' knee and shoved him. 'Be quiet before I make you be quiet.'

'I'd like to see you try,' James said, smirking at him.

'I'm not going to fight with you on Remus Day,' Sirius said, sticking his nose in the air. _'Do_ try to have some decorum, James.'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'Just give me the bloody painting, Sirius.'

Sirius barked a laugh and handed him the package—which was indeed a painting—wrapped in blue paper and tied with gold ribbon.

'Am I that obvious?'

Remus shrugged. 'Why wouldn't you give me a painting? You're very talented. Anyway, the surprise isn't the painting, it's what you painted.' And with that, he ripped the paper off with so much glee, Sirius couldn't help but smile with him. Maybe it hadn't been the wrong thing to say after all.

Remus' expression as he stared at the picture was incomprehensible. His eyes never stopped moving as he examined the image Sirius had created for him. It was a picture of their dormitory shown from the perspective of the door, with every detail painstakingly recreated right down to James' socks, which were always littering the floor.

They were all present in a familiar scene. James and Peter were sitting together on Peter's bed, Peter holding a quill, while James had his arms flung wide and his mouth open—frozen mid-sentence as he explained something. Sirius was lounging on his own bed, journal open in his hands and quill held loosely, deep in thought. And Remus was sitting on his bed with a book propped up on his knees, engrossed in the story. The light from the nearby window streamed into the room, like a spotlight on Remus, highlighting the golden tones in his hair.

Sirius chewed his lip as he waited for Remus' verdict. Would he think it boring? Should he have painted something less ordinary?

At last, after what felt like an age, Remus looked up and met Sirius' eyes with a smile. 'I love it, Sirius. Thank you. Can we wake them up?'

Sirius let out a relieved breath. 'That was the plan, yes.'

An hour later, after they'd woken the painting people, showered and enjoyed a hearty breakfast, Sirius stood next to a blank wall in the east wing of the fourth floor with the others. And Remus was looking extremely confused. Sirius pulled the invisibility cloak over himself, and the mysterious door appeared in front of him.

'Okay, Remus. For your birthday surprise, we present you with…' He paused for dramatic effect before flinging the door open and shining the light from his wand through the opening. '... a mystery! What is this place? And why is it here?'


	36. Chapter 35

March 12th, 1972

Remus was standing in a corridor on the fourth floor, facing a blank stretch of wall, and wondering if his friends were playing another joke on him. A moment ago, Sirius had vanished beneath the invisibility cloak with an excited twinkle in his eye, and Remus was certain that didn't bode well.

'Okay, Remus. For your birthday surprise, we present you with…' Sirius' disembodied voice paused dramatically, and a doorway appeared in the wall directly in front of him. '... a mystery! What is this place? And why is it here?'

The light from Sirius' invisible wand shone through the opening, illuminating what appeared to be an ordinary corridor. Or it would be ordinary if he'd come across it in the muggle world. Finding it behind a door at Hogwarts made it an incredibly out-of-place corridor. Remus' stomach fluttered. He loved mysteries.

The floor of the hallway was varnished wood, unlike the stone floors the rest of Hogwarts sported. And instead of bare stone and tapestries, the walls were plastered and painted in pale blue. As if all that wasn't weird enough, there were electric lights on the ceiling, and everything was covered in a thick layer of dust.

'This part of the castle hasn't been used for a long time, whatever it is,' Remus said. 'How much have you looked around?'

Sirius had pulled off the cloak and was watching him closely for his reaction to the surprise.

'Only this floor. There's a main staircase that goes up to the seventh floor and down to ground level. We thought exploring and figuring out what this place was used for would be the perfect activity for Remus day.'

Remus smiled at how well they knew him. 'I love it. Thank you.' He stepped into the hidden wing of the castle and glanced up and down the corridor. 'So what's on this floor?'

'Dormitories,' James said. 'Five of them, with ten beds and a bathroom each.'

'Weird,' Remus said. 'Why would they need more dormitories outside of the Houses? Those spaces magically resize depending on how many students there are.'

'Do they?' Peter said. 'How do you know that?'

'I read it in a book about Hogwarts,' Remus replied at the same time that James said, 'It's in _Hogwarts: A History_.'

Everyone stared at James in astonished silence.

'What?' James said, going red. 'I read.'

'Only when you have to,' Sirius said.

'I wanted to be prepared.' James' tone sounded a little defensive.

'You're adorable,' Sirius said, chuckling and wrapping his arm around James' shoulders. 'Do you want to see the dorm rooms, Remus? Or explore the other floors?'

'Explore,' Remus said. They would have to come back this way to get out, so he could look at the dormitories then. 'Let's go to the bottom and work our way up.'

It only took five minutes to make it all the way down, and the staircase ended in an open space a quarter of the size of Hogwarts' Entrance Hall. Directly opposite the stairs was a door, considerably larger than the others they had seen.

'Looks like the access from the grounds,' Remus said, trying the handle. It was locked, so he pulled his wand out and pointed it at the lock. 'Alohomora.'

It didn't work, and he turned back to the others in defeat.

James shrugged. 'Who cares about going outside, anyway?' He pointed at another door, to the right of the entrance. 'Let's see what's in there.'

Sirius bounded over and tried the handle. The door swung open, and they walked through, shining their wand-lights around the interior. It was obviously a dining room, but it was _nothing_ like the Great Hall.

Instead of four long house-tables and a separate teacher's table, there were lots of smaller tables and chairs, lined up in regimented rows and columns. There was no enchanted ceiling, and no windows either, so it must have been a pretty gloomy place to eat. Remus pointed his wand-light up and saw the same long, thin electric lights they'd seen in the corridors.

It occurred to him that if there were electric lights, there must be a way to turn them on, and he directed his wand-light towards the wall next to the door. Sure enough, there was a row of light switches, and he flicked them all down in one motion, wondering if they would still work. The lights on the ceiling flickered a little before burning strong and bright, illuminating the room well enough, but not quite reaching the corners.

'Cool,' James and Sirius said at the same time.

Remus and Peter smirked at each other. The simplest muggle device was fascinating to their pure-blooded friends.

'Maybe this was the servant quarters before they got house-elves?' Sirius suggested.

Remus shook his head. 'The house-elves have been here for hundreds of years. Muggles only invented electric lighting this century.'

They turned the lights back off and left the dining hall to continue exploring. Checking behind the staircase next, they found another door which led out to a large courtyard with seating areas and neglected flower beds. But there was nothing of interest out there to look at, and they quickly went back inside.

Opposite the dining hall was a door marked staff only. The Marauders glanced at each other, smirking, and walked straight in. The room turned out to be an office with filing cabinets lining one wall, and a desk pushed up against another. There was a dead houseplant in one corner and a bland painting of a meadow on the wall. Everything here was also thick with dust; it was kind of creepy.

Remus shook the feeling off and opened one of the filing cabinets, rifling through it.

'It looks like student records,' he said. 'But why are they separate from the rest?'

'Too old?' Peter suggested.

'Can't be,' Sirius said. 'When James and I trashed Filch's office, there were records going back hundreds of years. Those look recent.'

'And the parchment is weird. Why's it so white?' James asked.

'That's paper,' Peter told him. 'It's what muggles use.'

'Why is everything here, muggle?' James asked.

Remus rolled his eyes. 'That's kind of what we're trying to figure out.'

'I don't like it, everything's weird,' James said.

Remus laughed. 'You ever think that's how muggleborns must feel when they come to Hogwarts?'

James frowned at that. It was clear the thought had never occurred to him before.

'That must be really scary for them.'

'You think?' Remus said, quirking an eyebrow at him before returning to the paperwork. 'Look, some of these go back over a hundred years, but the most recent ones are from 1956.'

'Any names you recognise?' Sirius asked.

Remus shook his head. 'But you'd know better than me.' He handed the stack of paper to Sirius for him to look through and turned to see if Peter had found anything in the desk drawers. But Peter shook his head.

'Nothing exciting, just what you'd expect to find in a desk.'

'There are some old wizard-family surnames,' Sirius said. 'But I don't recognise the first names. Which is weird because I had to study these families for years.'

'The mystery deepens,' Remus said, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice.' 'Let's see what's upstairs.'

On the first floor, they found classrooms. They weren't that different in layout than the ones they used for their own classes. But there were no ink wells on the desks, still no windows, and the walls were covered in posters ranging from numbers and mathematical symbols, to maps of the world, to the periodic table of elements.

'It's like a muggle school,' Peter said. 'But why's it in Hogwarts?'

'It can't be for muggles,' James said. 'They can't even see Hogwarts.'

Sirius had wandered into one of the classrooms and was examining a poster showing the internal composition of the human body with interest.

'Maybe this was an intensive Muggle Studies program. Live like a muggle for three months or something.'

'Maybe,' James said. 'Shame it was stopped if it was. I'd have liked to do that.'

'You were complaining how uncomfortable you were earlier,' Remus said, laughing.

'Exactly!' James said. 'I don't want to be uncomfortable with it. I want to know what all this stuff is.'

'This is about Evans, isn't it?' Sirius said. 'Because she's muggle-born.'

James flushed. 'No… Yes… Maybe.'

'I don't think Lily cares if you know about muggle stuff,' Remus said. 'She just wants you to stop attacking Snape.'

'I will. As soon as Snivellus stops hurting kids who can't defend themselves.'

'I know, but unfortunately, we can't tell her that. So she's not going to stop hating you.'

James huffed. 'I can still try.'

Remus shared a glance with Sirius and Peter behind James' back.

'Shall we keep going?' Sirius asked.

The second and third floors turned out to also hold classrooms, two of which were dedicated to gardening, and the fourth and fifth floors were dormitories. It was the sixth floor where things got interesting. The staircase opened out onto a landing with five doors and behind each of them was a self-contained apartment, complete with two small bedrooms, a living area, a kitchen and a bathroom.

'Is that one of those TD things you told us about, Pete?' Sirius asked, pointing at the old-fashioned TV in the corner of the living area.

Peter laughed. 'TV,' he corrected, 'but yes.' He walked over to it and pressed the power button, but nothing happened. 'Guess it doesn't work anymore.'

Sirius looked disappointed but quickly perked up again when he entered the kitchen. 'We should cook something!'

Peter tried the switches on the electric oven, and it turned on. 'How about a cake for Remus?'

'Do you know how to make a cake?' James asked, sounding doubtful.

Peter rolled his eyes. 'Of course. I bake with my nan all the time.'

'The house-elves might give us the ingredients,' Remus said. Baking a cake sounded fun, and afterwards, they could eat it. An activity he always enjoyed.

'Only one way to find out,' Sirius and James said simultaneously. They then cracked up, laughing like it was the funniest thing to ever happen.

'You two are weird,' Remus said, shaking his head at his idiotic friends. 'What are you even laughing at?'

This, of course, only made them laugh harder.

Peter wrote out a list of ingredients and when Sirius and James had recovered from their laughing fit—other than the odd giggle—he sent them to the kitchen to sweet talk the house-elves. Remus remained behind to help Peter find everything they would need.

'Have you ever baked anything?' Peter asked him as they searched the other apartments for bowls and spoons, finding five more identical spaces on the seventh floor.

'Not that I remember.'

His mum never let him help in the kitchen. Too much risk of accidental contact. But Remus was confident his friends would accommodate that problem as effortlessly as they always did. He was a little surprised to realise he didn't feel worried about it at all.

'It's pretty similar to brewing,' Peter told him while ransacking a drawer. 'You need the right ingredients, in the right amounts, mixed the right way and heated for the right amount of time.'

'So, I'm going to be pants at it then,' Remus said with a laugh.

Peter eyed him for a moment. 'Maybe, but I don't think so. And It's not as delicate as brewing, anyway. You won't blow anything up if you do it wrong. It just won't taste as good.'

'That's not so bad. Chocolate will taste great no matter what.'

Peter laughed darkly. 'Yeah, don't be so sure about that.'

Remus pulled his head out of the cupboard he was searching to look at Peter. 'Sounds like there's a story there.'

'Let's just say, you shouldn't melt chocolate in a microwave oven.'

'You have a microwave oven?' Remus asked with surprise. 'I saw an advert for them on TV. They're really expensive.'

'My nan has one,' Peter said, and he shot Remus a grin. 'They heat food up so fast. It's brilliant.'

'My mum really wants one, but we could never afford it.'

'You're so smart, I bet you'll get a great job when you leave school, and then you can buy her one.' Peter said.

Remus knew he was being nice, but all it did was remind him of everything he'd lost to the wolf. Because there was no way Remus could get a good job when he left school, no matter how smart he was. Not unless they changed the law.

'Yeah, probably,' he lied.

When Sirius and James returned triumphant, laden with all the ingredients Peter had asked for, plus boxes enchanted to keep the finished cakes fresh, they set to work. Peter lined them all up with a mixing bowl each, a set of scales and a wooden spoon.

'Weigh out eight ounces of butter and the same amount of sugar,' Peter said, appearing to enjoy the role of teacher quite a lot. 'Then mix them together until it's smooth and creamy.'

Remus was the first to give in. 'Merlin, my arm is killing me,' he said, dropping the spoon in the bowl in defeat. 'Why is this so hard?'

Sirius and James laughed at him, but five minutes later they both joined him in complaining.

'No cake if you don't work for it,' Peter said, laughing at them. 'Are you men or babies?'

'Babies,' Remus said without hesitating.

James and Sirius glanced at each other, then back at Peter. 'Babies,' they agreed.

Peter snorted but took pity on them. 'You can take a short break. But then it's back to mixing.'

It was half an hour before the three boys had creamed their butter and sugar to Peter's satisfaction.

'Next, we add the eggs,' he said. 'We need four for eight ounces. Break them into a separate bowl and whisk them first.'

The fiasco that commenced was a sight to behold. To everyone's amusement, Sirius was so grossed out by the egg's insides that he refused to try again after his first failure when the stuff got all over his hands. Remus was feeling smug after he got the hang of it quickly, only wasting two eggs. The first, he tapped too hard trying to crack it, and it smashed on the counter. The second, he smooshed in his hands when he got over-excited at successfully cracking it. James, however, was utterly appalling at cracking eggs. But he was having such a good time trying no one had the heart to intervene until there were only four eggs left and they were forced too.

When everyone had whisked their eggs and mixed them into the cake mixture, Peter talked them through the process of folding in the flour and cocoa powder, (for they were, of course, making chocolate cakes. Was there any other kind worth making?) They transferred the mixture to the cake tins and put them in the oven, a device both James and Sirius found fascinating.

'Where does the fire go?' James asked.

'There's no fire. It runs on electric,' Remus said.

'Muggles are so clever,' Sirius said. 'Hey, can we get a place in a muggle area when we graduate?'

'I think I'd prefer somewhere quieter,' Peter said. 'I live in a muggle town now. There's noise all the time.'

Remus said nothing. He wouldn't be able to live with them if they got a place in town; there'd be nowhere for him to transform. But he doubted they'd still be friends by then, anyway. So there was no point interfering with their plans.

'Somewhere on the outskirts then,' Sirius said. 'So we're close to the muggles but not too close.'

'Sounds good to me,' James said from where he was perched on the counter. 'How long until the cakes are done?'

'About twenty-five minutes. We can clean up while we wait,' Peter told him, grabbing one of the mixing bowls, running his finger around the inside edge and licking off the gloop.

'Now that's the kind of cleaning-up I can get behind,' Sirius said, copying Peter's action with his own mixing bowl. 'Mmm, that is so good.'

By the time the cakes were ready and cooling on the counter, all four bowls and spoons had been licked clean and thoroughly washed. Remus made sure they put everything back how they found it. He doubted the teachers would know it was them if they discovered the debris, but it felt wrong to leave a mess behind.

The house-elves had provided them with lots of things to decorate their cakes. When they were cool enough, they made another mess icing them and making them look good enough to eat, before Remus made them clean that up too.

With the cakes and the exploration complete, they returned to the fourth floor to sneak back through the door. Remus still had no idea what they had found, but exploring it had been fun and the baking even more so. The best part? They now had more cake than they could possibly eat. As far as birthday surprises went, Remus didn't think it could ever be beaten.

-o-o-o-o-

The next weekend, Sirius and his friends spent another two days holed up in their cave. This time to complete the first few steps of the Spectral Essence potion. As Peter had said when they first found the recipe, it was an extremely complicated potion, but only a small portion of the weekend needed to be spent actively brewing it. The recipe called for long periods of stirring and heating in between the addition of each ingredient. As only one person was required to stir, Sirius, James, and Peter took turns; Remus was not permitted to go anywhere near it. And there was a lot of time where the potion was bubbling away, only needing the barest amount of supervision.

To pass the time, they played games of exploding snap and burn the witch, but not gobstones—no one wanted to stink up the cave. Sirius began another mural to replace the one they'd traded to the merpeople, Remus read, and James and Peter practised duelling at the other end of the cave from the cauldron.

On Sunday afternoon, they sat down to plan out their time for the next few weeks. The potion was delicate and could only be put under stasis at specific points in the process. One of those times was after step four of the fifty-two step recipe, and they would reach that point at around four pm that afternoon. They hoped to get through the next twenty steps during the Easter Holidays, but after that, it would be tricky to fit things in between classes, homework and detentions.

'We'll just have to make sure we don't _get_ detention,' Remus said.

'Easier said than done,' Sirius replied. 'Sometimes, I just can't help myself.'

'Same,' James said, nodding.

Peter sighed. 'I guess if one of you has detention when you're scheduled to work on the potion, then I'll have to cover for you.'

'And I'll help you with your homework, Pete,' Remus said. 'That'll save you some time.'

Just after four pm, Peter put the fire out and cast the stasis charm over the potion. They had a rudimentary schedule drawn up, which had them finishing with two weeks to spare. It allowed some room for missed sessions, but no room for mistakes. If they messed it up, they wouldn't have time to start again. They had to get it right first time.

From the cave, they went straight to the Great Hall for dinner, thinking it a good idea to show their faces in case anyone had noticed they weren't around. It didn't seem like anyone had, no one was paying any particular attention to them, but they made sure they were noticed now by being loud and boisterous enough to bring a reprimand from the nearest prefect.

After eating, they returned to the dorm where Sirius' stomach tied itself in a knot at the sight of his mother's godawful owl waiting for him. He'd been worried about this but had hoped being sorted into Gryffindor would get him out of it. Apparently not.

_Mister Sirius Black,_

_You will report to the Headmaster's office at 8 am on Monday morning. Your presence is required at home for the vernal equinox._

_Walburga Black_

Sirius' good mood had evaporated. He screwed up the parchment and threw it on the fire, before flopping heavily onto his bed face first and screaming into his pillow.

'You alright, mate?' James asked, rather stupidly. He clearly wasn't alright.

'I have to go home tomorrow morning,' Sirius ground out through gritted teeth.

'Why?' James asked. 'How long for?'

Sirius hesitated. What would his friends think about him taking part in dark magic rituals? He rolled over and sat up. All three were looking his way with concern on their faces. When he really thought about it, he knew exactly what they'd do. They'd listen to his explanation, understand that it wasn't his choice, and support him in whatever way they could. That was just who they were.

'Just for the day,' he said. 'It's the Black Family Ritual. We do it every year.'

'Sounds awful,' James said, pushing his glasses up his nose. 'What do they make you do?'

Sirius laughed with relief. He didn't even need to explain; James just _knew_ it wasn't his choice. 'It _is_ awful. We make a potion to enhance the casting of dark magic. Everyone has to do a part of it for some bizarre reason, and then we all drink it.'

Remus looked worried. 'Do you drink it?'

'Not since I found out what it did,' Sirius said, feeling sick that he'd ever taken it at all. 'I pour it in the bushes when no one's looking.'

'Thank Merlin,' Remus said. 'A potion like that shouldn't be given to kids. It's dangerous.'

Sirius' stomach twisted itself up a little more. He thought the potion revolting, but he hadn't known it was dangerous for children. And Reggie still drank it every year. He didn't want to mention that, though. He still held out hope Reg would be placed somewhere other than Slytherin, and he didn't want his friends to think ill of his brother.

'Maybe that's why nearly everyone in my family is insane,' Sirius said instead, trying to be funny despite his anxiety. 'The ones that aren't all stopped drinking the potion. I saw Andy pouring hers away last year.'

'That's very possible,' Remus said, missing the joke. 'Are you going to be okay, going home? Your family's still pretty mad at you, aren't they?'

That was the question, and Sirius didn't know the answer. He wasn't sure what to expect.

'Furious, but I'm sure it'll be fine,' he lied. 'Mother won't risk doing anything when I'm coming straight back to school.'

The next morning, Sirius put on a brave face as he said goodbye to his friends, but inside he was a bag of nerves. Mother knew plenty of ways to make him suffer without leaving a mark on the outside. His coming straight back to school was no guarantee of his safety.

So he couldn't suppress a smile when he saw Andromeda waiting outside of Professor Dumbledore's office for him.

'Good morning, cousin,' she said. 'How pointless is this?'

Sirius laughed. 'I wondered if you saw me disposing of my dose last year.'

'It made my heart glad,' she said. 'There's hope for our House yet if our heir rejects dark magic.'

'I think you may be the only one who believes that.'

'Yes, well, I never said you wouldn't have your work cut out,' she said with a musical laugh. 'Shall we go and put on the performance of our lives?'

Sirius smiled and stuck out his elbow for her to take. 'I suppose we must. But where is Narcissa?'

'She already left, I volunteered to wait for you. Thought you might need moral support.'

'Thank you,' he said, meaning it with all his heart and soul. 'I'm dreading this. I'd been hoping I wouldn't have to see Mother until the summer.'

Andromeda squeezed his arm. 'It's only for the day. And most of it will be in the garden.'

'I know. It's after that worries me,' he said. 'We'll be done by mid-afternoon, and she doesn't have to send me back until curfew.'

They flooed from the Headmaster's office directly into the drawing-room at Grimmauld Place, and his mother was waiting for him.

'You're late,' she snapped before he could even recover from the floo sickness. 'Change into your robes and get outside immediately. We're waiting to begin.' She turned when Andromeda stepped from the fireplace. 'Hello, dear. Your robes are in Regulus' room, you can change in there.'

'Thank you, Auntie. I hope you're well?'

'As well as one can be with such a rebellious heir.' Walburga sighed as if her burdens were unbearably heavy. 'If only Regulus had been born first.'

Sirius heard no more. Having reached the door, he let it slam closed behind him and ran up to his room to change. On seeing the state of his bedroom, he groaned. It looked like it hadn't been cleaned at all while he was gone and there was a fine layer of dust on everything. Ignoring his mother's pettiness in ordering the house-elves not to clean his room, he retrieved his ritual robes from the wardrobe and put them on, cringing at his reflection in the mirror.

Sirius kept his temper during the ritual this year, despite being given the flobberworm mucus again. When the torture was finally over, he pretended to drink the potion and waited for an opportunity to dispose of it. He was watching Reggie on the other side of the garden talking to their cousin Bellatrix. There had been no opportunity to speak to him before the ritual, and he'd drunk the potion immediately. There was nothing Sirius could do about it now, but he'd still like to speak to his brother if he could.

He sidled closer to the bushes, hoping to tip out the potion when no one was looking, but before he could, his mother cornered him.

'I want you in the cellar immediately. We need to have a… _conversation_ ,' she said. Then, to Sirius' horror, her eyes dropped to the goblet in his hand. 'Drink it,' she spat. _'Now_.'

Sirius thought about throwing the potion in her face and making a run for the floo, but he knew it was impossible. There were too many family members around; they would catch him. He had no choice but to do as he was told.

Raising the goblet to his lips, he remembered Remus' warning against drinking the potion and his heart sank into his stomach. He was only twelve. How much damage would this do to him? He swallowed the putrid liquid in one gulp and grimaced. It tasted like death. His mother took the goblet and glared at him. Right. She'd told him to go to the cellar. Sirius swallowed down his fear—he was a Gryffindor, dammit—and held his head high as he strolled through the crowded house and down into the place of his nightmares.

His mother followed him inside, and he turned to face her, keeping his face an expressionless mask.

'Narcissa tells me you've been seen associating with filthy half-bloods,' she said. 'As if being sorted into Gryffindor wasn't enough of a disgrace. You will cease contact with them at once on your return to school.'

Sirius had been expecting this, and he was prepared.

'I will not.'

She sneered at him. 'You will _do_ as you are told.'

He looked her in the eye as he repeated his previous statement more firmly than before. 'I will _not_.'

She curled her lip at his defiance. 'Maybe you'll change your mind once you've had a small taste of what your summer will be like if you disobey me,' she said, before waving her wand.

The shackles on the floor wrapped themselves around his wrists and dragged him to the wall, pinning him by his arms so his feet couldn't touch the ground. It wasn't a new form of punishment, and he knew that within ten minutes, his arm muscles would be burning from supporting his weight. But he also knew he would recover quickly when she let him go. So he got cocky.

'Is this _all_?' he said. 'Hardly new, is it?'

'No,' she said. And the evil glint in her eye sent a chill down Sirius' spine. She pointed her wand at his feet. 'But _this_ is.'

Sirius screamed. He hated himself for it. Didn't want to give his mother the satisfaction, but he couldn't control it.

His feet were _burning_!

He looked down through eyes blurred with tears, thinking surely there must be flames flicking at his feet. But there was nothing there. The fire was no more than an illusion, but the pain was all too real. His mother left, closing the door behind her, and Sirius screamed and screamed until his voice was hoarse. And still, the phantom fire licked at the soles of his feet.

His mother returned a lifetime later and released him from the spell, letting him fall to the floor at her feet.

'You will cut ties with the half-bloods on your return to school,' she said.

The pain had stopped the moment she cancelled the spell, and he hauled himself up and looked at her. Snot and tears covered his face, and his throat was raw from screaming. He couldn't endure that again; not for five minutes, never mind the entire summer. It was too much. He looked at the floor, not wanting to see the victory in her eyes.

'Yes, mother,' he whispered, defeated.

'Drink this,' she said, handing him a potion, before looking him up and down with a sneer. 'Then clean yourself up; you're a mess. The Headmaster is expecting you in half an hour.'

He took the bottle and downed it in one. The liquid slid down his ravaged throat, healing it along the way, and he sighed with relief at the long-awaited absence of pain.

'Thank you, mother,' he said, handing the empty bottle back to her.

Thirty-five minutes later, Sirius climbed the steps to his dorm room with a strange emptiness in his chest. He knew what he had to do, and he was dreading it.

He pushed the door open, expecting the usual commotion that followed James around everywhere he went. But the room was silent. Remus was the sole occupant, and he was, predictably, reading a book, but he looked up when Sirius walked in.

'Hey,' Remus said. He marked his page with a scrap of parchment before putting the book to one side and giving Sirius his undivided attention. 'How did it go?'

Sirius opened his mouth to tell him they couldn't be friends anymore, but he couldn't get the words to come out. He just stood there with his mouth open, staring at Remus and not saying a word.

'Sirius? You okay?' Remus climbed off the bed and approached him with concern in his eyes.

'I drank it,' he said at last. Because he couldn't say what he knew he must, and that was the only other thing he could think of. 'She made me drink it in front of her.'

To Sirius' utter confusion, Remus smiled. He'd been expecting disgust, or revulsion, not happiness.

'We thought that might happen,' Remus said. 'We spent lunch in the library and found a potion to cleanse your magical core of dark magic. James and Peter are brewing it now.'

Sirius couldn't believe his ears. 'They are?'

Remus nodded. 'It has to be taken within twenty-four hours, so we couldn't wait for you to get back and tell us if you actually needed it.'

Sirius stared blankly at Remus, his thoughts in a whirl. This 'filthy half-blood' had given up his lunch break to find a potion recipe _just in case_ Sirius needed it. Peter, the other 'filthy half-blood,' was at this very moment spending his free time brewing a potion for Sirius that he wasn't sure he'd _even need_. And his _mother_ , the woman who'd ordered him to cut ties with these incredible, thoughtful and generous people, had spent the afternoon _torturing him_ with phantom fire simply because of who he chose to be friends with.

He couldn't do it; he _wouldn't_ do it. And he was ashamed at how close he'd come to buckling. No matter what she did to him during the next six summers, his friends were worth every single moment of pain.

They would _always_ be worth it.

When James and Peter returned from the cave at two am and handed him the perfectly brewed Core Cleanser, he drank it gratefully and thanked them, making no mention of what he'd been ordered to do, or what would happen to him now he'd decided to disobey. The next morning, Sirius threw himself into schoolwork to keep his thoughts off what awaited him at home, but the last week before the Easter holidays went by in the blink of an eye, forcing him to find a new distraction.

Potion brewing was one diversion, but while the Spectral Essence was long-winded and complicated, there were long periods where nothing was required but to watch over it. So it wasn't sufficient to hold Sirius' attention by itself. He finished the replacement mural of the clearing in the forbidden forest—he'd included the mooncalves in this one, having decided to decorate the cave with a record of their adventures—and had begun a new mural of the beach room, complete with giant sandcastles and an ongoing battle.

The first Monday of the holiday arrived quickly, and with it James' birthday. Which, despite being his actual birthday, he insisted on calling James day.

'You both got a day to yourselves. So I should too,' was his reasoning.

Peter's gift to James was food—no surprise there—but instead of sweets, he'd given him a selection of muggle health food bars, which James adored. Remus had given him a jumper in Gryffindor red with gold stitching around the collar and cuffs.

'It was one of mine,' he'd told James, with cheeks slightly flushed from embarrassment. 'Breen enlarged it for me, and I changed the colours.'

James had immediately put it on and thanked Remus, saying how lovely and warm it was. Sirius got a funny feeling in his stomach, which he put down to jealousy that he didn't have any muggle clothes yet.

Sirius' gift outshone them both. He pulled it out from its hiding place beneath his bed, and James' eyes lit up with instant recognition. The shape of the parcel was unmistakable.

'So, not a painting then,' James said, bouncing where he sat as his excitement got the better of his self-control. Cosmo raised her head and glared at him for disturbing her nap on the discarded wrapping paper.

'Not a painting,' Sirius confirmed, laying the long, thin package across James' lap.

James didn't hesitate in ripping off the paper, and his grin stretched from ear to ear as he regarded the Nimbus 1200 in all its glory.

'Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,' James chanted without pausing for breath.

Peter chuckled at James' over-excitement. 'I think Sirius won this round.'

'I thought we could take it to the cave to fly it,' Sirius said. 'Since first-years aren't really allowed their own brooms.'

James jumped off the bed immediately, almost causing Peter and Remus to topple off from the aggressive bouncing of the mattress, and making Cosmo yowl with annoyance and jump to the floor in search of a quieter place to sleep.

'Get dressed. We're going right now.'

James chivied them all continuously until they were ready to leave, and the journey to the cave was completed in the shortest amount of time ever.

'Just stay on that side of the cave, away from the cauldron,' Peter said when James mounted the broom.

James rolled his eyes. 'I'm not stupid,' he said, before pushing off and zooming into the air towards the ceiling of the cave at top speed.

'Debatable,' Sirius said with a laugh.

'Why did you have to get him a broom?' Peter asked, watching James expertly execute a barrel roll. 'He's gonna be completely useless to us for the rest of the holiday now.'

'You see that grin on his face right now? The sheer joy?' Sirius asked. 'That's why.'

James flew down and landed next to them, his eyes were sparkling with happiness. 'I hope you're all discussing how awesome I am at flying.'

'Peter was saying he thought you'd shirk your responsibilities now, but I have every faith in you,' Sirius said.

'I would never,' James said, looking offended by the suggestion. 'Didn't I already tell you not to plan anything for my birthday because we can't afford a day off? I won't shirk my Marauderly duties for a broom.'

'We know, James,' Peter said. 'I was kidding.'

'Speaking of the potion, shouldn't we get started?' Sirius said.

James glanced at his watch. 'Crap, you're right. We won't be done before midnight as it is.'

James and Peter hurried over to the cauldron to start on step seven, and Sirius looked at Remus. The full moon was in two days, but so far he seemed to be doing okay this month.

'You got any plans?' Sirius asked.

'You can have a go on my broom if you want,' James called from beside the cauldron.

Remus grimaced. 'No, thank you,' he replied. Then to Sirius, 'Promised Peter I'd look over his homework assignments. He doesn't have the time to do the proper research with all the brewing. And since I'm useless for this part of the project.' He shrugged.

'Helping free up time for our Chief Potioneer isn't useless,' Sirius said with a grin. 'It's a valuable contribution to the project.'

'More valuable than Sirius' paintings, that's for sure,' James said.

'Will you stop eavesdropping, James,' Sirius said. 'And my art brightens the place up and boosts morale. It's very valuable.'

'Not to mention, highly entertaining,' Remus said, eyeing the mural of the clearing. The James and Sirius in the painting were imitating the mooncalves' dance, and the Peter and Remus were bent over in silent laughter.'

'Exactly!' Sirius said, pointing at Remus.

'I love your art, Sirius, but right now I need you to prepare the ectoplasm,' Peter said. 'It needs to be infused with the mint and daisy petals before we can add it to the main potion.'

'See you later, Nerd Boy,' Sirius said, winking at Remus, before strolling over to Peter and asking, 'What do I have to do?'

-o-o-o-o-

Remus was worried about how he would explain his disappearance for the March full moon with it falling during the Easter holidays, but the problem solved itself when Rieka brought him a letter from his mum the morning of the moon. He'd lied to his friends—gods, he hated all the lying—and told them his aunt had died and he had to return home for the funeral. If the aunt actually existed, he might have felt bad about it, but as far as he knew his mum didn't have any siblings. He wondered how many fictitious relatives he would have to kill off over the course of his education and decided to keep a list so he wouldn't accidentally kill someone twice.

'If my mum's really upset I might stay a day or two since it's the holidays,' he told his friends as he was getting ready to go to the hospital wing several hours early.

'I hope you don't need to,' Sirius said, his voice carrying a hint of anxiety.

Peter nodded. 'Me too. It's not the same without you.'

'You're being a bit selfish, guys,' James said, giving them a look. 'Of course, we'll miss you, mate. But don't feel like you have to come back for us if your mum needs you.'

'I know,' Remus said. 'I'm just in the way right now, anyway.'

His friends argued with that statement, of course, but Remus knew it was true. He was a liability when it came to brewing. Not that it mattered. Peter more than made up for his deficiency in that area, and Remus contributed in so many other ways. It was just that he felt a bit useless while there was nothing he could do to help with the project. So much so, he was almost glad of the full moon, allowing him to step away for a day or two. Almost.

It turned out to only be a day in the end. The full moon went well, and he had no injuries, but he woke up with a deep lingering sadness that he didn't understand.

Remus took an extra day to recuperate quietly in the dorm, enjoying the silence. After a blissful hot shower, he spent quite some time staring at himself in the bathroom mirror, safe in the knowledge that his friends were in the cave. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination, maybe wishful thinking, but his scars seemed ever so slightly fainter. It was impossible, but he was almost convinced Peter's potion was working.

Remus returned to the cave as soon as he had the strength to make the journey, and his friends welcomed him back happily.

'Your mum doing okay?' James asked when the greetings were over.

Remus nodded. 'Yeah, upset, but she's coping. How's the potion?'

'We've just completed step fourteen,' Peter said with pride in his voice. 'We're right on schedule to get to twenty-four by next Sunday.'

'Well, I'll just stay in the tent out of the way then,' Remus said with a small chuckle.

Remus spent most of the holiday in the tent. And he was fine with that. The others came in often when the potion didn't need their attention, but when he was alone, he enjoyed the opportunity to read and study without being interrupted. Every day, two of them would leave the cave to spend time in the Great Hall, or the common-room to keep anyone from noticing their absence, and to stock up on food from the kitchens.

At two-fifteen in the afternoon on the last day of the holiday, James, Sirius and Peter came whooping into the tent and Remus glanced up from editing Peter's Charms essay.

'We did it!' Sirius informed him. 'Step twenty-four is complete.'

'The potion is under stasis,' Peter said.

'We can leave!' James added, his face sporting an ear-splitting grin.

They packed up and returned to Gryffindor Tower, feeling a great sense of accomplishment. The potion wasn't anywhere near finished, but the most challenging part was out of the way, and Remus was starting to think they might actually pull this off.

As he stepped through the portrait hole after his friends, Remus heard James' excited voice exclaim, 'Guys, we are definitely doing this!' but he tried not to worry too much. How bad could it be, after all? The Niffler Hunt, the Creature Hunt, and the Sand-Wars had all been fun. But when he stopped in front of the noticeboard, his stomach sank into his feet as he read the poster.

_**The Chiefs of Raucous Revelry are delighted to announce** _

_**Hogwarts' Annual Midnight Flying Contest** _

_will be held on_

_**Saturday 15th April** _

_All entrants, please sign up below_

_Contestants and audience, please meet in the common room at eleven-thirty pm_

_And, as always, anyone who mentions the Hogwarts' Annual Midnight Flying Contest to any member of Hogwarts staff will be shunned._


	37. Chapter 36

April 15th, 1972, 10:45 pm

'Remus.' Sirius bent over Remus' sleeping form and whispered into his ear. ' _Reeemus_. It's time to wake up.'

He pulled his head back sharply as Remus groaned and rolled over. He didn't want to touch him, that would really ruin the mood this evening.

He bent forward again to whisper in the other ear. 'Remus. Oh, _Reeemuuus_.'

'M'sleeping,' Remus murmured. 'G'way.'

'Nuh uh,' Sirius said. 'You promised to cheer me and James on in the competition.'

'Ugh.' There was a pause and then, ' _Bugger_.'

'Indeed.'

'A'ight, M'up,' Remus grumbled.

Sirius stepped back from the bed, and Remus pulled himself upright, before regarding him through drooping eyelids. 'S'not fair you makin' me go, y'know.'

'You are extremely incoherent when you're sleepy. Did you know that?' Sirius asked. 'It's adorable.'

'F'ck 'ff,' Remus said, flipping him the middle finger before moving like an inferi in the direction of the bathroom.

'See you soon, sweetie,' Sirius called after him.

James snorted. 'Why do you wind him up like that?'

Sirius shrugged. 'He gets all flustered, it's funny.'

'It'll come back and bite you in the ass one day,' James said. 'He'll flirt back and you'll be so surprised you won't know what to do.'

'Ha!' Sirius laughed. 'Bet you five galleons it never happens.'

'Bet you _ten_ galleons it happens before graduation.'

'Done,' Sirius said, sticking out his hand for James to shake.

Remus emerged from the bathroom looking much more awake, and the Marauders headed down to the common room. Only Sirius and James had signed up for the Midnight Flying Contest. Remus hated flying and Peter had only flown once outside and a few times in the cave at low speeds. He'd enjoyed it, but he didn't want to embarrass himself by trying to compete against more experienced flyers.

James had retrieved his Nimbus 1200 from the cave for the competition, trusting that anyone taking part in an illicit contest wouldn't be the type to report him for having an illegal broom in school, and Sirius hoped he could also use it. The alternative was using one of the school brooms, and they were awful.

There were only around twenty students in the common room, apparently, the high chance of being caught put people off of this event. What a bunch of pansies. The high chance of getting caught was what made it _fun_.

Sirius found an empty table in the corner of the room and waved Remus into the corner seat before sitting down beside him to protect him from passing students. Remus gave him a small smile in thanks, and James and Peter sat down on Remus' other side to wait.

At eleven pm, two seventh-year students came down from the boy's staircase and called for attention.

'The Chiefs have asked us to take you all down to the contest area. If we get caught on the way there, we won't get to attend, so everyone needs to be really quiet. Understand?'

Everyone confirmed they had heard and understood, and the seventh-years led the way out of the portrait hole and down the stairs. Twenty-five students creeping through the hallways of Hogwarts in the dead of night was a sight to behold, and Sirius found it increasingly difficult not to laugh as they stalked their way closer to the Entrance Hall.

Passing the door to Filch's office was the most nerve-wracking part of the trip. It was impossible to tell if the office was occupied or if Filch was off in another part of the castle. But twenty-five students tiptoed passed his door one at a time, each of them holding their breath, not daring to make a sound.

Finally, they made it out into the open air, but they weren't safe yet. If any teachers happened to be looking out of a window, they'd be caught in an instant. The moon was only a little over half full, but it was a clear night and it provided enough light for them to be seen even in their black school robes.

The older students broke into a run the moment they got outside, obviously already knowing where they were going, and Sirius followed them. James fell into step beside him and grinned. His eyes gleamed with excitement in the moonlight.

'This is brilliant, isn't it?' James said as they ran full pelt across the grass.

'Not as brilliant as sleeping,' Remus panted from behind them. 'We've left Pete behind, you know?'

'He'll catch up,' James said, unconcerned.

They reached the cover of the quidditch pitch and stopped to catch their breath with the rest of the Gryffindors. Peter caught up with them a few minutes later, immediately sitting down on the ground.

'No one said there'd be running. If they had, I'd have stayed in bed.'

'Wait,' Remus said. 'Staying in bed was an option?'

'Not for you,' Sirius said, winking at him. 'I need you in the audience. You're my good luck charm.'

Remus chuckled. 'You're ridiculous,' he said. But Sirius saw his cheeks darken and counted it as a win.

Sirius and James had to say goodbye to Remus and Peter when they entered the stadium. The audience was directed up into the stands, while the competitors were told to wait on the pitch. Sirius watched them go with a touch of concern, but he trusted Peter would keep Remus safe, and there weren't that many people watching, anyway.

Sirius and James joined the other competitors on the pitch. The Slytherins and Hufflepuffs were already there, but there was no one from Ravenclaw yet.

'That's the Gryffindor quidditch captain,' James said, clutching Sirius' arm with excitement and pointing up into the stands. 'Do you think he's here to talent-spot?'

Sirius followed James' finger with his eyes and saw a burly kid with dark hair watching them.

'Possibly.'

'This could be my chance to get on the team,' James said. The fist wrapped around his broom handle was white from gripping too tightly.

'James, relax. You were fucking born to ride a broom. If he can't see that, he doesn't deserve you on his team.'

James pushed his glasses up his nose and grinned. 'You're right. I'm going to be awesome.'

The Chiefs of Raucous Revelry arrived then and strolled over to the waiting competitors.

'Nobody here from Ravenclaw yet?' Chief number one asked.

'Perhaps they got caught on the way down,' Chief number two said. 'We can't wait for them.'

Chief number one shook his head. 'It's a shame, but you're right.' He faced the watching students and rubbed his hands together. 'Right, does anyone need to borrow a broom?'

Sirius raised his hand along with five other students.

'That's great, we have enough.' He waved his wand and said, 'Accio brooms,' and then stepped out of the way as six brooms zoomed towards them from the direction of the changing rooms. 'Catch.'

Sirius barked out a laugh at the surprise challenge and leapt forward, his eyes zooming in on a Nimbus 2100. These weren't school brooms at all, and that one was _his_. Most of the other students had taken a step or two back in fear of the speeding projectiles, but one other Gryffindor in need of a broom had leapt forward too. Sirius glanced sideways at him. The other boy was bigger, but that would work against him. Sirius had agility on his side.

All this happened in the space of a second, and the brooms sped towards them at a ridiculous speed. The Nimbus 2100 was the fastest broom there, and it inched ahead of the others. Sirius bent his knees and when the brooms were mere feet away, he jumped forwards wrapping his fist around the broom. He stumbled on the landing, having to take several steps to stay upright. But he had a firm grip on his prize.

Sirius turned to see the other Gryffindor had snagged the second-fastest broom and two students were rubbing their stomachs where they'd been hit. The Chiefs of Raucous Revelry gave him an approving look. Had that been another test?

'The first event is a straight-up race,' Chief number two said. He waved his wand and glowing rings of smoke appeared high in the sky, marking out a course. 'If you miss a ring you'll be disqualified, and be careful, because they move.'

Sirius and James grinned at each other. This was going to be a blast.

'The gold ring is the start and the finish. Take your positions and wait for the signal.'

Sirius and James mounted their brooms along with the rest of the competing students.

'May the best Marauder win,' James whispered, giving him a wink before he shot into the sky at an impossible speed.

Sirius chuckled and sped after him, enjoying the feeling of the wind in his hair. As he climbed towards the starting position, he glanced over to the stands. Spotting Remus and Peter sitting together surrounded by empty seats, he gave them a wave. They waved back and Sirius returned his attention to his destination, pulling to a stop beside James.

They waited for everyone else to reach the starting position and then manoeuvred their brooms into a line. When everyone was ready, the Chief's voice bellowed through the night.

'Get ready. Three, two, one, Fly!'

And they were off. Sirius leant forward to make his broom accelerate, and he raced towards the first ring. He and James were neck and neck, and they both turned their heads to grin across the open air at each other. Several other competitors were riding the same broom and were keeping up with them, but after they soared through the first hoop, they had to turn sharply to face the next. Two of the race leaders failed to execute the barrel roll and fell behind.

Sirius let out a whoop as he sank into a dive after the third ring, which itself was speeding towards the ground. All the anxiety that had hung over him for the past few weeks melted away. He was invincible. A cackle of laughter came from James beside him as they approached the ring now sitting mere feet above the ground. Sirius slowed along with the others still beside them, and James pulled ahead of the lead group. He hadn't slowed down as the ground approached, but instead allowed his feet to skim the grass and pushed off, using the hard surface to help him accelerate through the hoop and back into the air.

'Fucking hell, James,' Sirius shouted, his heart hammering in his chest at the dangerous manoeuvre.

James laughed like a madman and zoomed through the next hoop, before looping back over upside down and whizzing through the last one before the finish line.

'Keep up Sirius.'

Sirius laughed. James was having the time of his life and he couldn't stay cross when his friend's face was filled with so much joy.

Needless to say, James won the race. Sirius came third, and he was happy with that. Flying was James' thing, and he was overjoyed for him.

The rest of the competition was less thrilling, but no less fun. Agility course, speed run, or feat of daring, James won them all.

They returned to the dorm at half-past one in the morning, and Sirius fell straight to sleep for the first time since the vernal equinox. The euphoria left-over from the flying kept the nightmares of chains and phantom flames at bay until the sun reached through the curtains the next morning and woke him from the best sleep he'd had in weeks.

The days flew by with them spending every evening brewing the potion into the early hours, and they were all exhausted. So it was with a deep sense of fatigue that Sirius took his seat in Defence the next Friday. Fatigue and trepidation. Tuesday's lesson had been on the veela, and he had a feeling he knew what would be next. Glancing at Remus for the millionth time that morning, he willed him to keep it together for the lesson. He'd been looking pale and anxious since he woke up that morning, and Sirius was certain the upcoming class was the reason for it.

Professor Hawthorne entered the classroom and strolled up to the front. He assisted Emhio in climbing out of the pool, before turning to face the waiting students. 'Good morning, class. Today's lesson is an interesting topic. They're classified as both Being and Beast by the Ministry of Magic. In reality, they are neither, but are, in fact, humans suffering from a painful disease. I am, of course, talking about the werewolf.'

Whispers erupted throughout the room and Sirius looked around, trying to spot anyone being bigoted that might need a talking to later.

'As always,' Professor Hawthorne said, raising his voice slightly to be heard over the whispers, forcing everyone to quiet down, 'anyone using disrespectful language will be sent directly to Professor Dumbledore. I will not have prejudice in my classroom. Now, with that in mind, what do you know about werewolves?'

A number of hands went up and Professor Hawthorne called on a Ravenclaw called Smith.

'During the full moon they transform into wolves and are aggressive towards people, but the rest of the time they look and act like humans.'

Professor Hawthorne nodded. 'A good answer, but you need to be careful of your language. They don't _look_ and _act_ human the rest of the time, they _are_ human the rest of the time. Anyone else? Yes, Mister Pettigrew?'

Sirius was surprised to see Peter volunteering in a class that wasn't Potions or Herbology, and he waited with bated breath. If Peter said something bad, it would hurt Remus deeply.

'The transformation is painful,' he said. 'And they get sick for a day or two before and after the full moon.'

'Correct. As Mister Pettigrew says, the transformation into the wolf form is incredibly painful and before and after the full moon the afflicted human will be unwell. Werewolves that lock themselves away for the duration of the change will often inflict injuries on themselves, though no one is sure why.'

James leant close to Sirius and whispered, 'They're probably lonely.'

Sirius smiled, James was so good at seeing straight to the heart of things. 'Yeah, imagine being locked up and alone every day of your life,' Sirius said.

'Emhio, if you could please transform, now.'

Emhio did so, her human form melting into a lupine one effortlessly. The wolf was light grey with whiter fur around her snout and belly. Is that what Moony looked like? Or would his fur match Remus' hair colour?

'Thank you, Emhio. As you can see, the werewolf is almost identical to a normal wolf, but they can be distinguished in four ways. Their snouts are a little shorter, their tails tufted instead of bushy, and their pupils are smaller, giving their eyes a more human-like appearance. The fourth clue is in their behaviour. While normal wolves are rarely aggressive towards humans and hunt other animals, there are no known accounts of werewolf aggression towards other animals, but they will _always_ attack humans.'

'Why doesn't the ministry have them all put down then?' A Ravenclaw Sirius didn't know called out from the back of the class. He felt a white-hot flash of heat and whipped his head around to glare at the boy.

Professor Hawthorne responded calmly, though. 'Because they're people, Mister Robbins, and have as much right to live their lives as you or I. Please remove yourself from my classroom and report to Professor Dumbledore.'

Robbins shoved his chair out and stomped towards the door. 'I only said what everyone else was thinking.'

'Not everyone was thinking it, _asshole_!' James yelled after him.

Sirius' anger cooled and was replaced with a warm glow at James' unknowing support for Remus, and he gave him a high five. 'Too fucking right.'

Professor Hawthorne acted like he hadn't heard James' shout and continued his lecture as if nothing had happened.

'Werewolves tend to lead solitary lives, ostracised by society because of a mistaken belief that they are dangerous to be around, even when in their untransformed state. They have a difficult time finding employment and keeping it when they do. And I hope if any of you one day find yourselves in the position of employer you will not show such prejudice.'

Several students nodded, and Sirius took a moment to look over at Remus. He had his head bent over his parchment as if he was taking notes, but his quill was still.

Not doing well then.

'The truth is, the only way to catch lycanthropy is through being bitten by a transformed werewolf during a full moon. Werewolves are _only_ dangerous during the hours the full moon is in the sky. That is, at most, twenty hours a month out of six hundred and ninety-six. Not very much at all.'

Sirius was still looking at Remus when Professor Hawthorne said this, and Remus slowly raised his head to look at the teacher, all the blood draining from his face and turning him white as a ghost. What had Professor Hawthorne said to cause that reaction? Werewolves are only dangerous during the full moon? Surely he already knew that, though. But it didn't seem like it.

A horrible realisation hit Sirius all at once as images flashed through his mind. Remus shying away from touch, an expression of terror in his eyes. His reaction at the quidditch match and his desperate questions, "Did you touch me? Did you touch my skin?" The way Remus had watched him so closely the day of the next full moon. Remus wasn't afraid of being touched; he was afraid of infecting someone.

Some horrible, evil, _dickhead_ had told Remus his touch was infectious.

The rest of the lesson went by in a blur for Sirius. He was vaguely aware of his feet carrying him along with the rest of the class as they went up to examine the werewolf-kelpie at close range, but he zoned out through the rest of the lecture. Had Remus believed this lie since he was bitten? If so, he must be losing his mind right now. And if he knew Remus, he would bolt the moment the lesson was over. Sirius needed to be prepared.

He kept his eye on the time and began surreptitiously packing away his things a few minutes before the end of the lesson. When Professor Hawthorne said the words, 'And that's all for today. Have a good weekend everyone,' Sirius stood and swung his bag onto his back in one smooth motion.

'I need a piss. I'll meet you back in the dorm,' he said to James, before dashing from the room without waiting for a response. He lingered in the corridor, and as he'd expected, Remus barrelled out of the room seconds after him. He was oblivious to Sirius' presence, head down, staring blindly at the floor as he speed-walked down the corridor and around the corner. Sirius jogged after him and rounded the bend just in time to see Remus disappear into a secret passage behind a portrait.

-o-o-o-o-

Remus was sitting in the dim light of the secret passageway, staring at his hands with hot, burning eyes. The hands he had thought would never feel the touch of human skin again. It had been so _long_ ; he didn't even remember what it felt like to touch another's skin with his own. And none of it was true. There was no danger in his touch. No virus. No infection. His entire life was built on a lie.

Bright light suddenly filled the passage, blinding him, but as fast as it came it was gone again, plunging him into darkness. He was no longer alone, though, he could feel someone's presence.

'Who's there?' he asked, unable to see anything after the burst of light.

'It's me.'

Sirius' voice floated out of the darkness and he could just make out the shape of him against the slightly lighter wall. The Sirius-shaped shadow seemed to shrink in on itself as he lowered himself to the floor opposite him.

Remus sighed. He needed to think. To piece his life together and figure out what was real and what was a lie. And he couldn't do that with Sirius watching. He would want to know what was bothering him, and he wouldn't let it go. Like a dog with a bone. Remus didn't have the spare brain capacity to make up a convincing lie. He just needed Sirius to leave.

'Please, don't take this the wrong way, Sirius, but I want to be alone right now. Can we talk later?'

Sirius shook his head. 'I don't think you _want_ to be alone. I think you believe you _have_ to be alone because you think there's no one you can talk too,' he said. 'But you can talk to me.'

Remus groaned and buried his head in his knees. 'I can't. Not about this,' he mumbled. 'You don't know about this, and I _can't_ tell you.'

Sirius made a frustrated sound. 'For fuck's sake, you're _never_ going to tell me, are you?' His tone was angry, but he was keeping his voice quiet. 'I've been so fucking patient, but no matter what I do to prove myself, you're never going to trust me enough to believe that I could possibly _know_ you're a werewolf and _still_ want to be your friend!'

Remus' head shot up with a start.

_He knows!_

His heart rate picked up and his mind went blank with terror. 'I'm not a werewolf,' he blurted. 'What are you talking about?'

Sirius scoffed. 'Really? We're going to do the denial thing? Alright then. Why don't you explain why you disappear every single full moon?'

How long had he been keeping track? Remus felt dizzy and there was a horrible ringing in his ears. He couldn't think straight.

'It's a coincidence.'

Sirius laughed. 'That,' he said, 'was _pathetic_. You've had eight months to make up believable stories and your excuse is, "It's a coincidence"? Merlin, you _need_ my help if you want to keep your secret until you graduate.'

Remus' head cleared a little at Sirius' words and he bit his lip. It didn't _sound_ like Sirius planned to betray him.

'You want to _help_ me?'

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Obviously. Well. I've _been_ helping you since I figured it out, but it'd be nice if you knew that's what I was doing. Sometimes, I think you get the impression that I just really like attention.'

Remus thought back to all the times Sirius had gone out of his way to draw attention to himself, and he was right, they had _all_ been times when Remus was moon-sick. He'd been distracting everyone. Remus' chest filled with a pleasant tingling-warmth.

'How long have you known?'

Sirius shrugged. 'Since September.'

Since September? _September_? What? How did he figure it out so fast? Did anyone else know? Why hadn't he _said_ something?

Remus felt light-headed, and he put his head in his hands, digging his fingers into his hair. This was too much. There were so many questions spinning through his mind. It was a struggle to choose one.

'I don't understand,' he said at last. 'You've known for months. Why didn't you say something?'

'I'm sorry,' Sirius said with a sigh. 'I was waiting for you to trust me enough to tell me. I thought it would scare you to have someone you didn't trust knowing your secret.'

Remus nodded. It was kind of sweet, actually. Annoying—if he'd just said something, it would have saved Remus a lot of anxiety—but sweet. The next question was more important. It really should have been his first, but he couldn't change that now, and he needed to know what mistakes he'd made so he didn't repeat them.

'How did you figure it out?'

Remus' eyes had adjusted to the low light level and he could see Sirius' lips quirk up in a smirk.

'Well, I can't take all the credit,' he said. 'I found your pros and cons list. That gave me some clues to go on.'

Remus' face warmed uncomfortably hot. His cheeks were probably crimson. Gods, how _embarrassing_!

'I can't believe you thought we'd be a distraction from your schoolwork. Pffft.'

That was _not_ helping. Remus drew his legs up and buried his face in his lap. 'I can't believe you saw that,' he mumbled into his knees.

'Ah, don't worry about it,' Sirius said. 'We've all done embarrassing shit. Anyway, that just told me you had a secret. It was the boggart lesson that revealed what the secret was.'

'You saw mine was the full moon?'

Sirius nodded. 'Everyone else was busy talking. Only me and Pete were watching you and he thought it was a crystal ball.'

'But you didn't?'

'No,' Sirius said. 'I knew what it was, and I knew what it meant.'

Remus thought back to the boggart lesson. It felt like a lifetime ago. So much had happened since then. 'Wait. We weren't talking then. I thought you hated me.'

Sirius looked confused. 'So?'

' _So_ , you could have just left me alone and avoided me when you realised what I was. But you went out of your way to make up with me.'

'That's all true. Yes,' Sirius said, and Remus growled at him with frustration. Was he being purposefully stupid?

'That's pretty hot,' Sirius said, smirking at him. 'Do it again.'

Remus ignored him. 'Why would you want to be _friends_ with a dark creature?'

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'I didn't _want_ to be friends with a dark creature. I _wanted_ to be friends with you. And _you_ just happened to be a werewolf.'

'And you didn't _care_?' Remus whisper-shouted. 'You just what? Thought, "never mind, it's just a werewolf," I don't understand why you would go ahead and befriend me when you _knew_.'

Sirius sat forward. His face was angry now. 'Fine!' he snapped. 'You want to know the truth? What went through my mind in Defence that day? I thought, "he's a werewolf, fuck!" And for a moment. Not even a full second, just a moment, I was horrified. But then I looked at _you,_ Remus. I thought about who _you_ are, your intelligence, your kindness, your insane love of books, and I knew.'

Sirius stopped then, and Remus waited for him to continue, but he didn't. He was going to make him ask.

'Knew what?'

Sirius met his eyes and held them with his own, and Remus was caught in the silver-grey stare, unable to look away.

'I _knew_ that everything I'd been taught about werewolves was _bullshit_. They're not _monsters_ ; they're just _people_. _You_ are just a person. A person with a horrific and painful disease. And you _deserve_ the same love and care as everyone else.'

Sirius didn't break eye contact during his speech, and his sincerity burned in his eyes. His words went against everything Remus believed about himself, but coming from Sirius, he found them harder than usual to deny. Harder, but not impossible.

Remus broke free of Sirius' mesmerising gaze and looked away. 'You're wrong. You don't know the beast I turn into. You'd change your mind if you saw it.'

Sirius sat up straighter. 'Hey! Don't talk about Moony like that!'

'What?' Remus' head whipped back around to stare at Sirius. 'Who the fuck is Moony?'

'Er... That's what I named the wolf,' Sirius said, fidgeting with the end of his sleeve and shrugging. 'He likes it, I think.'

Named the wolf? _Likes_ it? It almost sounded like Sirius had… But no… That was impossible… He wouldn't take such a stupid risk. But this _was_ Sirius they were talking about. If anyone was reckless enough to attempt to befriend a werewolf, it was him.

Remus hauled himself to his feet and stared down at Sirius, who had suddenly lost all of his confidence and was refusing to meet his eyes.

Remus spoke in a low hiss. _'Don't_ tell me you followed me, Sirius? Please, don't tell me you were _foolish_ enough to follow me on the full moon?'

'I probably shouldn't say anything at all then,' Sirius said. 'Because I'm not going to lie to you.'

Remus snorted. 'Oh, how very _noble_ of you,' he said, the words dripping with sarcasm. 'You'll follow me without my knowledge or consent. Spy on me when I'm at my most vulnerable. Put your life, _and_ mine, in danger. But you won't _lie_ to me.'

Sirius stood up then, but continued to look at his feet. 'I'm sorry. You're right. It was wrong to spy on you.' He looked up. 'But I think Moony likes me being there.'

'What do you mean? _There_?' Remus asked through gritted teeth. _'Where_? Not in the house?'

'Gods, no. I'm not an idiot. I stay in the tunnel. But he knows I'm there. I don't know how, but he knows.' Sirius said. 'He lies down as close as he can get, directly above me no matter where I position myself. And he listens to my voice. Sometimes he barks or howls at me.'

'And you... _What_?' Remus asked, running a hand through his hair. 'Just stay there all night, talking? Don't you get bored? Tired?'

'Well, yeah,' Sirius said, shrugging. 'Of course. But it keeps him from hurting you, Remus. I'd do anything to keep you from being hurt.'

Remus went quiet. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Sirius was spending the full moons in the cold, damp tunnel, talking to a monster through a trapdoor, just so Remus wouldn't get hurt. And Remus _hadn't_ been hurt, not since…

'So, that time I nearly died?' Remus said. 'At the end of January...'

'We were collecting the leaping toadstools for the potion, and I couldn't get there until hours after moonrise. New year was the first time I followed you. I guess Moony didn't think I was coming back, and he was sad?'

The idea of the wolf feeling any emotion but anger wasn't something he'd ever really considered. 'You think it's _lonely_?'

'Wouldn't you be?' Sirius said. 'He's spent his whole life alone in a cage.'

Remus' throat tightened as he imagined it. Gods, how awful that must be. To be always and forever alone. Because there was no way he could ever let the wolf have company. Ever. It would be a death sentence for anyone who entered the wolf's territory.

'I couldn't make it at all during the holidays, Peter was up with the potion until two, and then James took over. I was so worried. Were you badly hurt?'

Remus shook his head, remembering the unfathomable sadness he'd woken up with after the last full moon, and swallowed down the lump in his throat.

'Not at all. The wolf must have waited all night for you.'

'Good,' Sirius said, sounding relieved. 'I'm not going to stop coming, you know? Even if you forbid it.'

Remus stared at him, and Sirius met his eyes with a look of defiance. His back was ramrod straight, his chin up and his nose in the air. Every inch the arrogant pure-blood who always got his way.

As if Remus would refuse the only thing keeping him from being ripped apart every month, he wasn't a masochist. And anyway, he was feeling a newfound empathy for the wolf; taking away his only source of companionship would be cruel.

'You can drop the act. I'm not going to tell you not to come.'

Sirius' posture slouched back into his normal, careless stance. 'Thank Merlin, I didn't want to fall out with you over it, but I would have.'

Remus shook his head at his friend—he was such an idiot at times—and sat back down on the floor. This conversation had been illuminating, but none of it had helped with the problem that had driven him to seek solitude. The tension he'd been feeling before returned as he remembered why he was there, and he stiffened before looking down at his hands.

Either Sirius noticed or he could read minds because he sat down opposite him and said, 'So. Now that's all out of the way, do you want to tell me who told you your touch would infect people?'

Remus' head jerked up in shock for what must have been the fiftieth time in ten short minutes. 'You knew it wouldn't?'

Sirius nodded. 'After I figured it out, I read some books—'

Remus snorted. 'You? Did research?'

Sirius sniffed and stuck his nose in the air. 'It's been known to happen on occasion. I reserve it for very important things. Like helping best friends,' he said pointedly.

'Alright, I'm sorry,' Remus waved his hand. 'Please continue.'

'They said the same as Professor Hawthorne did today. Werewolves can only turn people on the full moon. I just figured your phobia was unrelated, though. But then I saw your face in class just now and I realised…'

Remus shook his head. 'So much wasted time.'

'Who was it that told you?'

Remus shrugged. 'I don't remember, it was so long ago.'

'Just before your fifth birthday? The car crash?' Sirius asked.

'You knew that was a cover?' Remus asked, feeling even worse than he had before. Lying was bad enough, but to have lied to someone who knew it was a lie? Sirius must think him a complete asshole. 'I hated lying to you all. But I didn't think I had a choice.'

'It's okay. I get why you had to,' Sirius said. 'You were so young when it happened, though, and no one even gave you a hug?'

Remus ignored him. He didn't want pity. Especially right now. 'It can't have been the hospital staff. They wouldn't lie to a patient.'

Thankfully, Sirius took the hint. 'I agree. Who does that leave?'

'Just my parents,' Remus said in a quiet voice, tensing up again. His body reacting to his thoughts faster than he could voice them. 'But my mum's a muggle…'

'So she wouldn't know anything,' Sirius said, finishing his thought for him.

'Which leaves…' Only one person who could have told the lie that ruined what was left of his already shattered life. '… my dad.'

'Your dad,' Sirius repeated in confirmation. 'The question is, did he know he was lying?'

'He worked for the DRCMC. He must have known,' Remus said, feeling his heart begin to pound in his chest.

'Damn,' Sirius said. 'What do you want to do about that?'

Remus covered his face with his hands and growled, trying to suppress the familiar heat welling up inside.

'I don't know!' The words burst from him and he jumped to his feet, pacing back and forth down the length of the passageway. Six steps one way, six steps back again, his rage seething in his belly. 'He lied, _on_ _purpose_ , to take away the only thing I had left. The wolf took my innocence, my happiness, my freedom. All I had left was the comfort my mum could give me, and my own father stole it from me. I think…' He stopped in front of Sirius and spat the words out, 'I _hate_ him.'

Sirius met his gaze without flinching. 'And you have every right to hate him. What about your mum?'

'What about her?'

'Are you going to tell her?'

The question stopped Remus cold, dousing the heat of his anger and turning his insides to ice. What would his mum think about this? She'd be elated. Want to hug him straight away. Wrap him in her arms and never let him go. His heart raced at the thought and his breathing turned rough and haggard.

'Remus? You okay?' Sirius asked, frowning. Remus shook his head, unable to speak, and Sirius' frown deepened. 'Hey, come on, sit down a minute.'

Remus lowered himself to the ground, still trying to catch his breath, and Sirius took a seat opposite him, leaning back against the wall and murmuring reassurances to calm him down. After a minute, he was able to articulate his thoughts.

'I'm scared. She's going to want to hug me and I don't know if I can…'

Sirius nodded. 'It's been a long time.'

'I don't even remember what it feels like.'

Sirius sat forward. 'What if I help you?'

'Help me how?' Remus asked, raising his eyebrows.

'We've got, what?' Sirius counted on his fingers. 'Seven weeks until the end of term? Plenty of time. We can start small, like you touch my hand with your finger, and work up to the point where I can give you a hug.'

That didn't sound like a bad idea, actually. It should be easier if he was in control of the contact. And he trusted Sirius. Completely.

'Once you're used to me, we can ask James and Peter to help too.'

'You can't tell them!' Remus said, his heart rate picking back up at the possibility.

Sirius shook his head. 'Not about the lycanthropy, no. That's up to you, but for the record, I honestly think they'll be fine with it. You heard them in class today. But for now, we can just tell them you want to get over your phobia. They'll want to help.'

'Okay, yeah. That's a good idea.' Remus chose to ignore the part about telling James and Peter about his vile disease. Sirius was different, most people didn't react that well.

'So you want to try?' Sirius asked, holding out his hand with the palm facing up.

'Now?' Remus asked, his breathing speeding back up.

Sirius shrugged. 'Might as well get started.'

Remus stared at Sirius' outstretched hand and swallowed. 'I'm scared. What if Professor Hawthorne's wrong? I don't want to infect you.'

Sirius lowered his hand. 'He's not wrong. I…' Sirius paused, and took a deep breath, before speaking in a rush. 'I lied to you once. You remember the Quidditch match? I lied. I touched your hand, but you were so _scared_ , I was worried it would make it worse if I told you the truth. Please don't hate me.'

Remus stared at him for a moment, stunned. That had been months ago. And Sirius was _fine_. It was the proof he needed, and he let out a shaky laugh. 'I don't hate you.'

'Gods, if only I'd told you the truth back then. A few weeks later and you'd have known you weren't infectious.'

'It's probably best you didn't. I'm not sure what I would have done. Run away probably, thinking I was going to be executed.'

'Executed?' Sirius said with a yelp.

'That's what happens to a werewolf that infects someone else. If they're caught.'

'Fuck! Thank Merlin I lied.'

'Especially since I doubt I'd be able to secure myself on the run, and then someone would have _really_ been hurt.'

'And it would have been entirely your dad's fault,' Sirius said, before holding his hand out again and grinning. 'So are we going to do this? You want to be able to throw it in his face when you get home, right?'

Remus grinned back. His stomach fluttered when he pictured his dad's expression when he showed him that he knew the truth. Making _him_ afraid, like Remus had been afraid for so long.

'Yes. I want that very much.'

Sirius' grin grew impossibly wider. 'For revenge.'

'For justice,' Remus corrected, moving closer and reaching out with his hand. He balled his hand into a fist, leaving his index finger extended, and moved it towards Sirius' outstretched palm.

'I won't move,' Sirius promised.

Remus nodded and inched closer still. The tip of his finger was millimetres from Sirius' palm and he could feel the body heat radiating from him. His heart was pounding out of his chest as he closed the distance and made contact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so nervous about this chapter. After building up the tension for this moment for 200,000 words, I really don't want to disappoint you all. I hope this was everything you wanted it to be, and I'd love to hear from you. :) Thanks for reading.


	38. Chapter 37

Friday, April 21st, 1972

It was like electricity. The tingle began in Remus' fingertip where it was touching Sirius' palm, spread along his finger, through his hand and climbed up his arm, and he jerked away. The contact had barely lasted a second, but Remus was panting as if he'd just climbed the stairs to the owlery.

'Okay?' Sirius asked, frowning with concern.

Remus nodded. 'Yeah. Give me a minute. That was… weird.'

Sirius lounged back against the wall with his legs crossed at the ankles to wait for him to pull himself together, and Remus was grateful for his patience. The sensation had been strange, but not unpleasant. A little overwhelming. Knowing what to expect should make it easier the second time, though. He wasn't about to give up after the first try.

'Alright, let's do it again.'

Sirius grinned and stood up straight. 'Ravish me, darling,' he said, holding out his hand and tossing his hair.

Remus dropped his hand back to his side with a sigh, feeling his face burn like fiendfyre. 'Must you make this awkward?'

Sirius dissolved into a mess of giggles. 'Sorry... I'm sorry… I couldn't resist…' he choked out in between bursts of uncontrolled laughter. When he finally got a hold of himself, he stood and wiped the tears from his eyes. 'I'm sorry. I'll behave. Promise.'

Sirius held out his hand again, and this time kept his mouth blessedly shut, though Remus could see the suppressed mirth in his eyes. Rather than making things awkward, Sirius' irreverent humour had had the opposite effect on Remus. The normality of it made all the tension melt away, leaving him with a deep sense of calm. He moved fast before the fear could get the better of him again, closing the distance between their hands and pressing his finger firmly against Sirius' palm.

The tingles shot up his arm again, but this time he was expecting it. Instead of jerking away, he closed his eyes and allowed the sensation to fizzle through his body for several seconds. His heart was pounding against his chest, and his ears were ringing. Even so, he kept his finger in place, determined to overcome the fear created by his father's lie. Determined to prove his father hadn't broken him.

When it all became too much, he pulled away again and opened his eyes to find Sirius beaming at him.

'Well done,' he said. 'You did amazing. How do you feel?'

Remus' legs buckled, and he sat down heavily on the floor of the secret passage.

'Well. I guess that answers that question. Was it too much?' Sirius asked, crouching beside him.

Remus bit his lip as he considered the question. 'Not too much. Just _a lot_ , you know?'

'Yeah, we should definitely take it slow.'

'How do you want to do this, exactly?'

Sirius moved to sit down opposite him. 'What do you mean?'

Remus shrugged. 'Like, do you want to schedule sessions or just wing it?'

'I figured you'd just do whatever you were comfortable with. You don't have to warn me or anything.'

'Okay,' Remus said. 'Just tell me if I do something you don't like, and I won't do it again.'

Sirius chuckled. 'That's pretty unlikely, Moonpie.'

'Oh, gods,' Remus said, covering his face with his hands and laughing. 'Don't start making moon and wolf jokes all the time. People will figure it out.'

Sirius winked at him. 'Don't worry, Wolf Boy. I'll keep it for when we're alone.'

Remus almost choked on his laugh this time. 'That's even worse than Nerd Boy!'

Sirius grinned. 'We should probably get back to the dorm. I told James I was going for a piss. And we've been here ages.'

In the end, they needn't have worried. When they reached the dorm, James almost knocked Sirius off his feet, leaping on him the moment he stepped through the door.

'Rivers found me in the common room!'

'Who the fuck is Rivers? And why the hell are you this excited about it?' Sirius asked, attempting to peel James off of him. And failing miserably.

James gripped Sirius' shoulders and jumped up and down. Remus was exceedingly grateful for the protection of his 'phobia' at that moment and began to have second thoughts about 'curing' it.

'The Gryffindor quidditch captain!' James yelled in Sirius' face.

That information was all it took for Sirius to realise why James was so hyperactive and join him in jumping up and down. 'Oh my gods, what did he say?'

'He wants me to try out for the team next year,' James said, practically bursting at the seams. 'But he hinted that it's just a formality and I'm basically a sure thing! I'm going to be a Chaser, Sirius!'

'Always knew you would be, mate. But congratulations,' Sirius said. 'That makes two things we have to celebrate now. How much butterbeer do we have?'

'Plenty,' James said, letting go of Sirius and pushing his glasses up his nose. 'But what else are we celebrating?'

Remus had stayed back during the excitement, but he nodded when Sirius glanced at him for permission. Might as well tell them now.

'Remus,' Sirius said, 'has decided he wants to get over his phobia, And…' Sirius paused dramatically, and Remus rolled his eyes at his need to make everything a performance. '... he touched my hand.'

'No way!' James and Peter both yelled at Sirius before turning to stare at Remus with wide eyes.

' _Yes_ way,' Sirius said, nodding with pride.

'That's brilliant, mate,' James said, recovering from his surprise first. 'Really brave. Anything I can do to help, just ask.'

'Me too,' Peter said, smiling at him. 'And I agree with James. It's really brave.'

'Thanks, guys. I'm just going to work on it with Sirius for now, but I'll need you two to help later.'

Their next lesson that day was History of Magic, and for once Remus didn't pay the slightest bit of attention to the lecture. So much had happened, and he needed to process it. Sirius knowing he was a werewolf took the top spot in his thoughts. Not only did he know, had known for _months_ , but he didn't _care_.

Well, no. That wasn't quite right. Sirius cared; a lot, apparently. But not in the way Remus had expected him to care. Not in the 'you're a monster, get away from me,' way. No. Sirius only cared he was a werewolf because it caused Remus pain. And he wanted to _help_.

That wasn't quite right either, because Sirius had already _been_ helping. Secretly. For months. The last two injury-free full moons had been thanks to him. And he probably had him to thank that no one suspected anything yet, too. He'd been distracting _everyone_ , and Remus had believed he was just attention-seeking. When he asked for his birthday to be celebrated at the weekend, he had thought Sirius was being vain, but had he really been making sure Remus could attend? The possibility made him all warm and fuzzy inside.

After the initial panic was over, he couldn't believe how comfortable he had been talking to Sirius about it. A lot of that was because of Sirius' sense of humour. His teasing had made the situation feel more normal; less significant, and Remus glowed with warmth when he recalled Sirius calling him Moonpie and Wolf Boy. It was nice that he felt comfortable enough with it to make jokes. As long as he didn't slip up and call him those things in front of someone else. But he hadn't slipped up so far. Unknown to Remus, he'd been keeping the secret for seven months already.

Remus glanced over his shoulder. He sat beside Peter in this class, and Sirius and James sat behind them. Like Peter, James had his head down on the desk, snoring softly, But Sirius was watching him.

'You okay?' he mouthed when Remus met his eyes.

Remus nodded and offered him a smile before turning back to the front of the room. He didn't understand why Sirius was so relaxed about his disease, but he was grateful for it. Having a friend who knew the truth would make getting through school a lot easier.

Sirius shook James and Peter awake when class ended, and ten minutes later they were settled in their usual seats in the Great Hall.

'I guess we won't have to sit at the end for much longer,' James said, looking at Remus. 'How long do you think it'll take?'

'I don't know. But I hope by the time we go home. I want to be able to hug my mum.'

'We should put on a performance on the platform,' James said, getting excited. 'Can you imagine your mum's face if she sees you hugging us goodbye?'

Sirius laughed. 'I think that's a brilliant idea.'

'That could be fun,' Remus said. If his mum saw him hugging other people, it would reassure her that it was safe to touch him.

But it would take a lot of work to get to that point in such a short amount of time if his first attempts were anything to go by. He couldn't allow long periods between touches. If he did, he would settle back into his comfort zone, and it would take too long to become accustomed to the feelings involved. Sharing the cloak so much with Sirius had shown him that touch got easier the more he did it, and the longer he spent doing it. Linking arms with him to walk in sync still made his heart race, but it was no longer uncomfortable.

But it had taken months to reach that point, and he only had weeks. With that in mind, he shifted his seating position and pressed his leg against Sirius' under the table. The whole of his leg tingled at the contact, and he drew in a sharp breath but didn't pull away. Sirius' only reaction was the smallest of twitches, but he didn't move his leg, just carried on talking to James and Peter about Gryffindor's chances in the Sand-Wars semi-final the following day as if nothing was happening.

Remus closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing, letting the sensation flood his body, trying to get used to it. His focus kept being drawn to the small area of his leg that was touching Sirius', though, and he repeatedly had to coax it back to keeping his breathing calm and even.

Ten minutes later, at the smell of chocolate, Remus pulled away. The cake had appeared on the table, and he couldn't eat while maintaining contact. Sirius looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and Remus smiled to let him know he was good. Having the layers of material between them made it less overwhelming, but he knew he needed to get used to skin-to-skin contact too. This was a good start, though, and it was only day one. He had a lot to be proud of.

Sirius said nothing about it in front of James and Peter, but when they got to Transfiguration, he took the opportunity to whisper, 'I'm so proud of you,' during the commotion before Professor McGonagall called the class to order. The praise made Remus more determined than ever to conquer his fear.

It was a practical lesson, turning glass into water, and there wasn't an opportunity for prolonged contact, but Remus let his hand brush against Sirius' several times. And he did the same in Herbology while they harvested their fluxweed plants. After a while, he noticed that every time he did, the corners of Sirius' mouth quirked up the tiniest amount.

At dinner, Remus repeated his actions from lunch, and this time kept up the contact while he ate his main course. He'd been so focused on the place where their legs touched, he couldn't remember what he'd eaten. But he'd come a long way since that morning when even the possibility of touching someone else was terrifying.

They were scheduled to work on the potion all weekend again, so they went straight to the cave after eating. Remus headed for the tent, expecting James to follow him because it was Sirius' turn to help Peter. But James walked in the opposite direction towards the prep station instead, so Remus paused by the tent flaps to see what he was doing.

'I'm feeling pretty good after my nap this morning,' he said to Sirius. 'We can swap shifts if you want to work on your personal project with Remus?'

Sirius raised a questioning eyebrow at Remus, obviously asking if he was up for more practice that evening. Remus nodded. He'd already decided to work on it every chance he got.

'If you're sure?' Sirius said.

'Absolutely.' James turned his head to smile at Remus. 'Like I said, _anything_ I can do to help.'

Remus felt a rush of affection for his friend. Despite not being able to help physically yet, James had found another way to do so, even though it meant he would have less free time for himself. He really was the most generous person Remus had ever met.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius followed Remus into the tent but stopped by the entrance, unsure what he wanted him to do. After sitting down crossed-legged at the head of one of the beds, Remus looked up, patting the mattress in front of him. Sirius joined him, sitting at the foot, so they were facing each other, and Remus shuffled forward until their knees were touching. The moment they touched, Remus closed his eyes, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks as he took a few deep breaths.

'Is this okay?' he asked when he opened his eyes.

'For me?'

'Yeah. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.'

Sirius scoffed, before leaning forward and whispering into his ear, 'You couldn't if you tried, Wolf Boy.' Much to Sirius' enjoyment, Remus shivered, and when he pulled away, his cheeks were flushed, but he was smiling.

Remus then took Sirius completely by surprise. Leaning forward himself, he allowed his cheek to brush against Sirius' ever so lightly, and whispered back, 'I like that you can joke about it.'

Remus' breath against his ear sent the most delicious shiver down Sirius' spine. And when Remus pulled away, he was sporting a cocky grin. It had definitely been intentional, and he had definitely noticed the shiver. And James would _definitely_ not be hearing about this.

'Really pushing those boundaries aren't you,' Sirius said, trying to joke, although he was feeling a little unsettled by his reaction. James whispered in his ear all the time, and it had never felt like _that_.

'I have to if I want to be ready by June,' Remus said, shrugging.

Sirius nodded. 'So this is okay now?' he asked, gesturing to their knees.

'It still feels weird, but it's more of a good weird if that makes sense?'

Sirius thought he knew what Remus meant. It felt good weird to him too. Kind of tingly, but in a pleasant way.

'What do you want to do now?'

'Can we try both hands?' Remus asked. He was trying to act confident about it, but his voice shook, betraying his anxiety, and Sirius wanted him to relax.

So he winked at him. 'That depends where you plan to put your hands, Mister Lupin. I'm a respectable man, you know?'

Remus chuckled. 'Sure you are. You keep telling yourself that.'

Sirius laughed and put his hands up. Remus looked much less anxious now. Mission accomplished.

Remus hesitated for a second, but raised his own hands and moved them towards Sirius' until both their hands were touching, palm to palm. Remus gasped, and his eyes fluttered closed again. Sirius tried very hard to stay still, but it was difficult because the pleasant tingly feeling was spreading through him like fire. The only reason he could think to explain it was that Remus was putting so much trust in him.

They stayed like that for several minutes before Remus pulled away and opened his eyes.

'It's getting easier every time.'

Sirius grinned. 'You'll be hugging us in no time.'

'Hopefully,' Remus said, smiling back at him. 'This must be boring for you, though. What if we sit next to each other? Then you could read or draw.'

Actually, it was possibly the least boring thing he'd ever done, but Sirius agreed to the plan anyway, and they settled themselves at the head of the bed with a book each. Sirius rested his free hand, palm up, on the mattress between them and Remus placed his on top.

After a while, Sirius became engrossed in his book, so he didn't notice at first when Remus' fingers slipped between his own and curled around his hand. And he didn't notice when his own fingers instinctively curled around Remus' hand in return. He did notice, however, when Remus yanked his hand away, breathing hard, and scrambled off of the bed away from him.

Sirius dropped his book and held his hands up in surrender. 'I'm sorry. Are you okay? What did I do?'

Remus was clutching his right hand to his chest, holding it protectively with his left. 'No, it's alright. You were just holding onto me, and I panicked.'

'Oh, gods, I'm sorry.' Sirius stood up and moved towards Remus, still keeping his hands up. 'I didn't mean too. I didn't even notice I was doing it.'

'I know. It's okay.' Remus let his hand drop to his side. 'I'm alright now. I just... had to get away.'

'Do you want to stop for today?'

Remus didn't answer right away, biting his lip. But after a moment of thought, he said, 'I don't think stopping after a bad experience is a good idea. Can we try that again?'

'Try what?'

'You… er… holding my hand?' Remus blushed furiously, and Sirius grinned.

'Any time, Nerd Boy,' he said with a wink, holding out his hand.

Remus' blush deepened even more, but he pressed his hand against Sirius' and allowed their fingers to interlock, before curling his fingers around Sirius' hand. He was staring at their hands with an expression of curiosity while he did this. But when he looked up, and Sirius met his gaze, Remus' golden eyes were blazing with emotion.

'Go on,' he whispered.

Ever so slowly, Sirius folded his fingers down, wrapping them around Remus's hand gently, trying not to startle him. Remus' breathing was rough and haggard, but he held Sirius' gaze the entire time, and Sirius tried to tell him with his eyes that he could trust him.

Gradually Remus' breathing slowed, and he closed his eyes. 'Can you let go now, please,' he said.

Sirius did so immediately and stepped back to give Remus some space. 'You okay?'

Remus nodded, and a broad smile spread slowly across his face before he opened his eyes. 'I can't believe I did that.'

They stopped for the evening after that breakthrough, Remus wanting to end on a high. But they continued the sessions over the weekend and throughout the next week whenever they could. After a week had gone by, Remus was coping well with touching Sirius, not reacting at all as long as he knew it was coming. It was a joy to see, but what made it even better was how happy Remus was.

That was until he woke up the following Friday. Sirius was expecting it; he had the dates of the full moons memorised, but it didn't make it any easier to witness. He always made it a point to wake up early on full moon days, so he could wake Remus while James and Peter were in the shower, and they wouldn't see him groan in pain as he climbed out of bed and stretched his sore muscles. Usually, he woke him and then retreated to the bathroom himself, but Remus knew he was in on the secret now, and he could stay.

'Wakey wakey, Moonykins,' he whispered.

Remus stirred, and his lips quirked up in a smile. 'I take it we're alone?'

'They're in the shower.'

'Good,' Remus said. He rolled over to face Sirius and groaned in pain. 'I feel like shit. Will you help me up?'

'Of course,' Sirius said, holding out his hands. Remus took them, and Sirius pulled him up to a sitting position, waited for him to swing his legs out of bed and then pulled him upright. Remus wobbled a little and grabbed onto Sirius' arms to stabilise himself.

'You good?' Sirius asked, resisting the urge to grip Remus' arms in return. If he wasn't expecting it, he would panic.

'Yeah.' Remus let go and managed to stay up under his own strength. 'Will you be able to come tonight?'

Sirius glanced at the bathroom door. He could still hear the shower going, but he wanted to make sure it was still closed. 'I don't know. They're going to be awake all night again. Are you saying you're going home or that you're sick?'

'Does it matter?'

'I thought, maybe we could both say we're sick?'

Remus nodded slowly, apparently considering the idea. 'Not at the same time, though. I'll go first. You wait a few hours before you say you're feeling ill too.'

'Moonrise is at nine-thirty, right?'

Remus looked surprised that he knew that, but nodded again.

'I'll go to the cave with them after dinner then and say I'm ill around eight forty-five. I don't want to keep Moony waiting after not turning up last month.'

Remus didn't reply for a moment. Sirius saw him swallow and take a deep breath to say something, something that seemed important, but then the water shut off in the bathroom and he stopped. They both looked towards the door.

James emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam, a towel around his waist and a second one in his hand, which he was using to dry his hair.

'Morning, Remus,' he said, sounding far too happy for seven-thirty on a school day. 'You better get a move on if you want a shower before class.'

Remus nodded and hurried into the bathroom just as Peter (thankfully fully dressed) was coming out, almost bumping into him.

'Whoops, sorry,' Peter said. 'My fault, I was going too fast.'

'James, you know you can take your clothes into the cubicle, right?' Sirius asked. 'You don't _have_ to parade around the dorm half-naked.'

James shrugged. 'I always forget. Be grateful I remember the towel.'

'Merlin, save us all from a naked James,' Peter said, looking up at the ceiling and putting his arms in the air. 'Anything but that!'

James threw his towel at him. The hair one, thankfully, not the one around his waist.

Remus, heroically in Sirius' opinion, made it as far as halfway through Transfiguration before he gave in and asked to go to the Hospital Wing.

Professor McGonagall looked at him with sympathy and nodded. 'Of course. Would you take him, please, Mister Black? And come _straight back_.'

Sirius smiled sweetly at her. 'As if I would ever dream of doing anything _but_ come straight back.'

He grabbed Remus' bag for him, even though it was charmed to be feather-light, and held his arm out so Remus could use it to haul himself up. Remus let go as soon as he gained his balance, but when they reached the hallway, he leaned into him.

'Will you help me? My legs are shaky.'

Sirius, bending awkwardly, put his arm around the back of Remus' shoulders so he could lean on him easier. 'Is this okay?'

Turning his head into Sirius' neck, Remus hummed in affirmation.

Sirius got the strangest feeling Remus was smelling him, and he shivered at the sensation of his breath against his neck.

They stumbled their way to the Hospital Wing, and when they arrived Madam Pomfrey looked surprised—probably because Remus' face was still buried in Sirius' neck—but she quickly composed herself.

'What seems to be the matter, Mister Lupin?' she asked.

Sirius glanced around the ward and on seeing it empty, he quirked an eyebrow at the young medi-witch and jerked his head at Remus. 'It's his time of the month.'

Remus started shaking next to him, and snorted, before laughing, and then groaning in pain.

'Oh, shit. Sorry, Remus. I shouldn't make you laugh.' Sirius helped Remus over to the closest bed and sat him down.

'He seems really ill this month, is he going to be okay?'

'I've had worse, Sirius. I'll be fine, don't worry. You should get back to class.'

Sirius nodded but walked over to Remus and bent forward to whisper in his ear before he left.

'See you tonight, Wolf Boy.'

-o-o-o-o-

'So, you told your friends?' Madam Pomfrey asked him after Sirius had left, taking the source of his comforting scent with him. But after walking so close together on the way there, the smell still lingered on his clothes and skin, and his head swam every time he took a breath.

Remus shook his head. 'It's just Sirius, and I didn't tell him. He figured it out.'

'Do you think you can trust him?'

'He's known since September, but he only told me he knew last week. I can trust him,' Remus said. And he truly believed it, too. Sirius had proven himself more than enough.

Madam Pomfrey nodded. 'Well, it's your decision. I'll have to inform the Headmaster, though.'

Remus had been expecting that and agreed, making a mental note to tell Sirius Dumbledore might want a chat.

At eight-thirty, Madam Pomfrey disillusioned him and led him out of the castle, saying goodbye to him at the Whomping Willow and leaving him to lock himself up. With his wand held in his left hand lighting the way, Remus stumbled over the uneven ground of the tunnel, running his right hand along the wall to support his weight. When he reached the ladder at the end, he grabbed onto it and paused to gather his strength for the climb.

'Hey, Wolf Boy.'

Remus almost jumped out of his skin when Sirius appeared in front of him, holding James' invisibility cloak; realising too late that he'd completely forgotten to ask Sirius not to come until after he'd transformed.

'You scared the life out of me,' he said, clutching his hand to his chest to calm his racing heart.

Sirius chuckled. 'You didn't smell me?' he asked like it was a totally normal question, proving to Remus that Sirius really had done his homework. Did he know Remus had been smelling him on the way to the Hospital Wing? He felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment.

'Your scent is all over me. I didn't notice.'

'What do I smell like?' Sirius asked, his eyes gleaming in the light from Remus' wand. 'I've wanted to know for months, but I couldn't ask you.'

'Like wood-smoke and vanilla. And that soap you use.' Remus said. 'Why are you here so early?'

Sirius hummed. 'I like that, manly but sweet.'

'Yes, it's lovely,' Remus said without thinking. He desperately wanted Sirius to leave, and it was all he could think about. 'But I didn't want you to be here when I… you know.'

'You like my smell?' Sirius asked, grinning like a crazy person.

Remus realised what he'd said and tried to backtrack. 'It's as nice as anyone else's.'

'Nah, you like mine best. It's alright, I won't tell anyone,' Sirius said, winking at him.

Remus blushed even harder but chose not to respond. He was running out of time.

'Look, I need to go up. Can you leave for a bit?'

Sirius' face grew serious in an instant. 'I've heard you transform before, Remus. The first time I came.'

'Oh.'

'I'm sorry you have to go through that, it sounds horrible, and I'll leave if you really want me to. But if you can bear to have me listening, I'd really like to be here when Moony wakes up this month.'

Remus swallowed. Was he being selfish asking Sirius to leave? There wasn't anything to be afraid of if Sirius had already heard it. If hearing his screams hadn't scared him off the first time, it was unlikely they would now. Recalling the unfathomable sadness he'd woken up with the previous month, and the joy and contentment that was present in all his recent dreams of the wolf, he sighed. He _was_ being selfish. If he was going to force the wolf to live a life of complete isolation, the least he could do was to allow him the pseudo-companionship Sirius was offering.

His suffering wasn't the wolf's fault.

'Alright, you can stay. But can you go down the passage a little way until you hear me shut the trapdoor?' he blushed again. 'I have to get undressed and then drop my clothes into the tunnel.'

Sirius quirked his eyebrow, but thankfully refrained from making a comment on Remus' imminent nudity. 'Sure, no problem. And thank you. For letting me stay, I mean.'

Remus watched Sirius walk down the tunnel a few feet, before hauling himself up the ladder. The conversation had taken a while, and he was cutting it fine. He pulled off his clothes and stuffed them into his bag without the care he would usually take, and a moment later, his Marauders' Crest joined them.

When he dropped the bag into the tunnel, he felt rude not saying anything, so he called, 'See you in the morning,' to Sirius, before slamming the trapdoor closed without waiting for a reply and muttering 'Colloportus,' to lock it. He stowed his wand on the mantelpiece above the fire where the wolf couldn't get at it and breathed a sigh of relief. He'd made it.

The relief was short-lived. A moment later, he bent over double as crippling pain overtook his body, and he screamed.

-o-o-o-o-

The wolf lifted his head from his paws and looked around. The fire was still blazing, as it had been since the first day he'd spent there. He was no longer worried about it, though. It never spread, and the warmth that came from it was pleasant. As he stretched his muscles, he felt the familiar, comforting presence in the air.

Pack-mate was back!

He barked and jumped to his feet, before bounding over to the shape on the ground and howling a greeting.

Pack-mate responded with the strange noises he didn't understand.

He barked again and ran around in a circle. It wasn't enough; he had too much energy. He needed to run. So he did. He ran around the whole space twice, then through the hole in the wall to the other space and back again. It still wasn't enough, so he ran up the slope and jumped onto the soft thing, back onto the floor, down the slope and returned to the shape to bark at pack-mate and let him know he was still there.

The wolf completed this circuit several times before he'd burnt off enough energy to settle down and listen to pack-mate. He curled up as close as he could get, lowered his head to his paws and closed his eyes.

-o-o-o-o-

'See you in the morning.' Remus' voice echoed down the tunnel, followed by a loud thud. Sirius turned around and strolled back to the ladder. The trapdoor was firmly shut and Remus' bag was lying in a heap on the ground.

'Good luck, mate,' he whispered, before lowering himself to the floor with his back against the wall to wait.

Remus' screams started a moment later, sending a chill down Sirius' spine. That had been close. He'd known what to expect this time, but it was still hard to listen to the heart-wrenching sound of his friend's pain, and he looked around for something, anything, to distract him. His eyes alighted on Remus' bag. He hesitated, but another scream from above decided it, Remus would understand.

He rifled through the contents. Textbooks, homework assignments, clothes and shoes. Literally nothing interesting at all. But he needed _something_ to distract him from the noise. He pulled out a blank sheet of parchment and Remus' muggle pen and shrugged. Why not give Remus something to read in the morning to cheer him up?

_Hey, Wolf Boy,_

_By the time you're reading this, it'll be morning. So, I hope you're okay. I won't be able to be there when you wake up, but I'll be thinking of you._

_I just said goodbye to you for the night, and I hope you don't mind that I looked in your bag, but I needed a distraction. I'm sure you can understand why. But enough about that. I'm writing this letter to cheer you up, not remind you of unpleasant things._

_It was nice being able to help you today. Openly, I mean, instead of in secret. It's been so hard not being able to do more for you the past few months. And that sounds so selfish considering what you're suffering while I write this, but it's true nonetheless. I want to do more to help you. And Moony. Because I think he suffers almost as much as you do, and none of this is his fault. I_ _will_ _find a way, Remus. That's a promise._

_I love that you finally know that I know. And I love it even more that you trust me knowing. Gods, that sounds sappy, but I don't care, I'm not going to throw this away and start again. This letter will comprise my complete and unedited thoughts. Lucky you! While I'm on the topic of trust, I want to say thank you for letting me help you get used to touching people. I know how hard it is for you, and I feel honoured to be the one helping you with it. Alright, that's enough sappiness. You've stopped screaming, and everything has gone quiet._

_Wait. Moony just barked and came running over to the trapdoor to say hello._

_Oh Gods, Remus, I'm laughing so hard._

_So, Moony came over to the trapdoor and howled. And I said, 'Good evening Moony, I'm sorry for not coming last time, I couldn't get away, but I missed you.'_

_I have no idea if he can understand me, probably not, but he got so excited. He barked at me again, and then it sounded like he was running in circles on the spot. The next thing I hear is a series of thumps coming from all different directions. I think he was running around the ground floor in excitement. After that, he ran upstairs and back down again, before coming back to the trapdoor to bark some more. He's done this four times already, and he's still going. Each time he returns, I speak to him, and he barks. And then off he goes again. I'm getting the impression he missed me._

_Remus, why don't you miss me this much?_

_I'm really not feeling the love, Remus. You are shirking your duties._

_Moony has finally stopped running around now, and he's whining at me, so I'm going to talk to him for a bit._

_Hi, again, Wolf Boy, (It just occurred to me you might find that nickname offensive. Please tell me if you don't like it and I'll stop.)_

_It's 3 am now, and Moony's pretty settled. He didn't whine when I stopped talking this time. Which is good, because I've run out of things to say, I've just been counting out loud for the last hour. I think it's safe to say he doesn't understand me, and that's probably a good thing because if I had to find several hours' worth of interesting topics to talk about every month, I would fail miserably._

_Remus, I've just reread what I wrote earlier, and I'm so embarrassed. I'm still going to give it to you, I'm a Gryffindor, not a coward. But please disregard the sappiness. I was under a great deal of emotional strain when I wrote it._

_I don't think my handwriting has been this bad since I first learnt to use a quill, Remus. In my defence, I am holding my wand in one hand to light the page, and so cannot hold the parchment still while I write, and it keeps moving. You would be laughing if you were here, but, of course, if you were here, I would not be writing this letter, and so there would be nothing to laugh at. That is a conundrum._

_Remus, I think I might be very tired, I'm not sure I'm making all that much sense anymore. I will continue writing, though, because I can't risk falling asleep down here. Not again._

_I was going to write something else, Remus. But I don't remember what it was. Where do you think thoughts go when they're forgotten? I like to think there's a special place where all the forgotten thoughts get together. I bet it's fun there._

_I think it's time for me to go. Moony's been quiet for a while now, and if I stay much longer, I think I might fall asleep. The last thing we want is for Madam Pomfrey to find me here._

_I will see you soon, Nerd Boy._

_Marauderingly yours,_

_Sirius._


	39. Chapter 38

Sunday, 30th April 1972

After leaving the tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow in the early hours of Saturday morning, Sirius caught a few hours' sleep in the empty dorm before returning to the cave just before lunch. Much to Sirius' relief, James and Peter both accepted his explanation that Remus had gone to the library after they were both released without question. Remus had joined them in the cave on Sunday, looking much better, and Sirius found it difficult to meet his eyes after the sappy letter he'd written him during the full moon.

But Remus didn't let him hide.

'Can I borrow Sirius for a bit?' he asked Peter.

Peter looked up from reading over his notes on the potion. 'Sure, he's free for about an hour.'

'Thanks.' Remus grabbed Sirius by the hand and dragged him off into the tent.

'Hey,' Remus said, turning to face him when they were alone. 'Thank you for the letter. It made me smile a lot.'

Sirius rubbed the back of his head. 'Yeah. I'm not sure it was particularly coherent.'

'Are you embarrassed?' Remus said, chuckling. 'You never get embarrassed.'

'Maybe, just a smidge,' Sirius said, holding up his hand with his thumb and forefinger barely touching.

'You don't need to be. I didn't think it was sappy.' Remus lowered his voice and put his mouth to Sirius' ear. 'It was nice to hear about the wolf. It helps me feel less like a monster, knowing more about him.'

Sirius tried to hide the shiver, but he wasn't sure if he was successful. 'You're not a monster, Remus.' he whispered back.

'Oh, I don't mind, by the way,' Remus said as if Sirius was supposed to know what he was talking about.

'Don't mind what?'

Remus rolled his eyes and put his mouth to Sirius' ear again. 'The nickname. Wolf Boy. Well, any of them. I like that you treat it like it's normal. Just be careful not to say it when we have company.'

When he pulled back, Sirius nodded. 'Did you want to get some practice in before I have to go back and help?'

'Yeah, I should. Don't want to leave it too long.'

Sirius hopped onto the bed and lay back with his legs crossed at the ankles and held his arm out for Remus to join him. After grabbing a book, Remus curled up next to him with his head on Sirius' chest and Sirius arm lying loosely around his waist. They had only done this once before, the day before the full-moon, but Sirius liked it. There had been so little cuddling in his life before Hogwarts, he found he couldn't get enough of it.

'Okay?' he checked.

'Yeah. It's getting easier all the time.'

Sirius took the book from Remus and opened it, holding it with his free hand so they could both see the pages and they read together quietly for an hour while Remus drew patterns on the back of Sirius' hand with his finger.

A little after seven-thirty that evening, they reached step thirty-six in the brewing process and were able to put the potion under stasis and return to their dorm. Everything was going smoothly with the brewing, Gryffindor were on track to win the quidditch cup, and Remus was making great headway with his "personal project." The Marauders were in high spirits, and they wanted to celebrate, but they were all too exhausted.

'This sucks,' James said. He was lying on his bed, face-up, with his arms spread out to the sides. 'I'm too tired to even move.'

Remus chuckled from his position next to Sirius, where he was holding Sirius' hand and rubbing the back of it with his thumb. They'd spent most of their time touching in some way since Remus returned from the Hospital Wing. Not that Sirius was complaining.

'I think Pete's already asleep.'

Sirius looked over to Peter's bed, and sure enough, he was curled up, fully clothed still, but snoring softly.

'Poor guy. He's been working harder than any of us since we started brewing.'

'We should do something nice for him on Wednesday,' Remus said. 'You remember, he said the 3rd of May was a hard day for him.'

Sirius squeezed Remus' hand and was delighted when he didn't flinch, just squeezed back.

'We should. Let's take him into Hogsmeade and do whatever he wants,' Sirius said.

Remus smiled up at him. 'That's perfect. He'll love it, and it should take his mind off whatever his anniversary is.'

'James?'

James' only answer was a loud snort. He was asleep.

'We'll talk to him about it in the morning,' Sirius said, laughing.

Remus said goodnight and returned to his own bed for the night. It wasn't long before Sirius heard his quiet, even breathing join James' and Peter's snores. But Sirius lay awake for a while. Helping Remus was working well to take his mind off the fast-approaching summer holidays, and he enjoyed all the touching; it was comforting. But when he was alone, he couldn't stop himself thinking about it.

Would he burn for the entire summer? Or would his mother mix it up with some other, equally horrifying, punishments for his disobedience? He didn't know what to expect, and every time he considered the possibilities, his blood turned to ice. There was nothing he could do about it, though. His decision was made, and he wasn't going to change his mind. If Remus could face his excruciating transformation every month with a smile on his face, then Sirius could face the next six summers with his back straight and his head held high.

The next day, he was standing next to Remus in Transfiguration attempting to turn a bowl of water into smoke, but only managing to make it look a little murkier. Professor McGonagall was walking the aisles, stopping at the desks of struggling students to offer further instruction. She paused next to James and Peter, praising James's red smoke, which was drifting its way up towards the ceiling and asking him to help Peter. James was uncannily good at transfiguration, considering how bad he was at focusing on anything not related to the Marauders for more than five minutes.

McGonagall continued on and stopped next to Sirius, waving her wand at his glass of water and returning it to its original state. 'Show me what you're doing, Mister Black.'

Sirius did so, turning his water a disgusting grey colour.

She nodded and looked over her glasses at him. 'You're forgetting to alter its state as well as its material composition. Try again.'

As soon as she said it Sirius understood where he was going wrong and felt like an idiot. In his defence, he did have a lot on his mind. He performed the spell again, and this time the water transformed into swirling grey smoke.

'Much better.' She slid a folded piece of parchment onto his desk, nodded at him and moved on to the next pair of students.

Sirius picked up the note—which had his name across the front in emerald green ink—with some confusion. Why was Professor McGonagall passing him secret letters in class?

_Mister Black,_

_Please accept this invitation to come to my office for a chat at six o'clock this evening._

_The password is French Fancies._

_Professor Dumbledore_

He showed the note to Remus, wondering what on earth Dumbledore could want with him, but Remus didn't look surprised.

'It's about me,' he said, whispering into his ear and sending that peculiar shiver down Sirius' spine. 'He just wants to make sure you're trustworthy.'

Sirius nodded, feeling relieved. It shouldn't be hard to convince the Headmaster he could be trusted to keep a secret he'd already been keeping for seven months. Now he just had to figure out what he would tell James and Peter.

After dinner, when they reached the seventh-floor, Sirius announced he had a meeting with the Headmaster and would see them in the dorm later.

'What's it about?' James asked.

'No idea,' Sirius lied. 'The note didn't say. It's probably about my terrible behaviour.'

James looked offended. 'What about _my_ terrible behaviour?'

'I don't know what to tell you, James. You're obviously not as bad as you think you are.'

'Have you been getting into trouble,' he gasped dramatically, 'without me?'

'This is going to come as a shock. But Remus and I have been making mischief behind your back.'

'Hey, don't drag me into this,' Remus said, laughing.

'Oh, the betrayal,' James cried, putting the back of his hand against his forehead and pretending to faint. 'My best friend, and my best friend.'

Sirius chuckled at James' antics, but he was acutely aware of the time, and he didn't want to keep Dumbledore waiting. 'I really have to go.'

James stood up straight. 'Good luck. Hope it's nothing bad.'

After leaving his friends, Sirius hurried down the corridors to the statue of a gargoyle that guarded the Headmaster's office and gave it the password, before stepping on to the moving staircase. He knocked on the door at the top, entering when Dumbledore called, 'Come in, Mister Black.'

'You wanted to see me, Headmaster?'

'Yes, please have a seat. Would you like a lemon drop?' Professor Dumbledore nodded to the small dish of bright yellow sweets on his desk.

Sirius sat down in the chair opposite the Headmaster's desk and shook his head. 'No, thank you, sir. I've just had dinner.'

Dumbledore leant back in his seat and regarded Sirius over his half-moon spectacles. 'I've asked you here to discuss your friend, Mister Lupin.'

'Remus said he thought that's what it would be about.'

'I understand you have learned his secret?'

'That he has lycanthropy, yes.'

Dumbledore put his elbows on the desk and clasped his hands together, leaning forward. 'Can I ask how you feel about that?'

'How I feel, sir?'

'Yes. How do you feel about Mister Lupin since learning he's not exactly human?'

Sirius frowned, feeling his blood heating at the insinuation that Remus was somehow lesser.

'I feel exactly the same as I did before I knew he _has lycanthropy_. He's an amazing _person,_ and I'm lucky to have him as a friend. What else would any _decent_ wizard feel?'

Dumbledore smiled. 'I'm delighted to hear that. And your anger at my rather rude question is proof of your sincerity.'

'That was a test?'

'Yes, it was. And you passed with flying colours,' Dumbledore said. 'I, of course, don't consider Mister Lupin any less human than you or I, so you can stop plotting ways to attack me and avenge his honour.'

Sirius laughed. 'You're quite devious, aren't you?'

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. 'You and your friends are not the only wizards to be learned in the art of subterfuge, Mister Black. And on the subject of your friends, how likely is it, do you think, that Misters Potter and Pettigrew will come to the same realisation as yourself?'

Sirius shrugged. 'I honestly don't know if James ever will. He's exceptionally unobservant. But Peter might figure it out at some point.'

'You do not intend to tell them?'

'No, sir. It's not my secret to tell. And Remus is… resistant to the idea.'

Dumbledore nodded. 'And how do you suppose they might react if they knew?'

Sirius grinned at that question. There was no doubt in his mind how they would react. 'The same as me, sir. They'll be upset for Remus and want to help him.'

'Help him how?'

'You know? Buying chocolate for him to help with the pain, covering for him when he disappears, distracting people so they don't notice he's sick, being quiet around the full moon because his hearing's really sensitive. That sort of thing.'

Dumbledore nodded, smiling. 'You've certainly done your research, Mister Black. Perhaps, you are not the only one who's "lucky" that Mister Lupin is your friend.'

Sirius shifted uncomfortably at the implied compliment. 'Maybe.'

Dumbledore hummed at his non-committal response. 'Mister Black, can I ask why you waited so long to tell Mister Lupin?'

Sirius shifted in his seat again. 'We didn't know each other very well when I first realised. I didn't want him to have to worry about someone he didn't trust knowing his secret. So I tried to earn his trust, hoping he'd tell me himself. I don't think he ever would have, though.'

'And what made you come clean?'

Sirius hesitated, but decided it wouldn't do any harm to tell Dumbledore the truth. And he couldn't think of a decent lie, anyway.

'I didn't know it until a couple of weeks ago, but Remus believed he could infect people by touching them. He found out the truth when we studied werewolves in Defence, and when I realised why he looked so upset, I knew I had to tell him, so he would have someone to talk to.'

'All of that, and you don't consider yourself a good friend.' Dumbledore said, shaking his head. 'Do we know who told Mister Lupin this monstrous lie?'

'It was his father.'

'I see,' Dumbledore looked pensive. 'Thank you, Mister Black. I'm satisfied that you can be trusted. I hope you never prove me wrong. You may return to whatever mischief I pulled you from.'

'Thank you, sir.'

Sirius left the office and returned to Gryffindor Tower with a slight sense of unease. He wasn't sure he should have told the Headmaster about Remus' Dad, but he put it to the back of his mind as he approached the dorm room. James would want to know what the meeting had been about, and he needed to be convincing.

He flung the dormitory door open and strode inside. 'You'll never guess what that was about,' he said, flopping onto Remus' bed and offering him his hand. Remus took it, sliding his fingers in between Sirius', before resting his head on Sirius' shoulder. 'That crazy bint that claims to be my mother has been writing to Dumbledore all year trying to get me re-sorted.'

'No!' James said, laughing. 'That's mental!'

'Can that even happen?' Peter asked. 'Is Dumbledore going to make you be resorted?'

Sirius scoffed. 'No. It's impossible. But he wanted to know if it was something _I_ was asking for. He was worried I wasn't getting along with my house-mates.'

'Well, we are pretty awful to you,' Remus said, squeezing his hand.

'I know—all the acceptance and support. I don't know how I bear it sometimes. And don't even get me started on the hugging, it's truly horrific what you people put me through.'

'Don't forget making you dunk your head in freezing cold water,' James said. 'Twice.'

'Forcing you to enter a pen of bloodthirsty invisible horses,' Peter said.

'Imprisoning you in a freezing cold cave for hours at a time,' Remus said.

Sirius frowned. 'Come to think of it, you are pretty terrible to me. I may need to rethink this friendship.'

-o-o-o-o-

Two days later, Remus woke James and Sirius early, and the three boys surprised Peter with a breakfast of all his favourite foods in their dorm room. Remus didn't know what significance the day had for Peter, but he suspected it was something to do with his dad and could sympathise with both the pain of bad memories and the daddy issues.

Peter seemed pleased with the spread and, though he wasn't his usual cheerful self, he thanked them for the effort. When they told him their plans for the afternoon, though, he smiled for the first time that day. They got him through History of Magic by playing burn the witch, and Charms was a practical lesson, shooting moving magical targets with the knockback jinx. It was a lot of fun, and Remus wished that had been their lesson when he was having a bad day.

After classes were over for the day, they grabbed some food to-go from the Hall, before heading directly to Gunhilda's statue on the third floor. They wanted as much time as possible in the village.

Remus held Sirius' hand as they traversed the passageway to Honeydukes. It had become a habit by this point whenever they were alone, or with their fellow Marauders, for Remus to touch Sirius' hand or arm. He was exceedingly grateful to Sirius for putting up with it, and to James and Peter for not teasing them. In fact, they never so much as batted an eye.

As if to prove his thoughts wrong, James glanced at their joined hands. 'You seem to be doing okay with touching Sirius now. Are you ready for me and Pete to help?'

Remus shook his head. 'Not yet, I think I need to get used to surprise touches first. So far, I've been in control of it.'

'You want me to start touching you without any warning?' Sirius asked.

Remus nodded. 'Is that okay? I'll probably panic at first. I don't want you to feel bad.'

'I won't feel bad if you've asked me to do it,' Sirius said, squeezing his hand. 'You want me to start today?'

'Please.'

'Alright.'

Of course, Sirius couldn't actually start while they were already touching, so he didn't have an opportunity to surprise Remus until they were in the village. The first time, he just placed his hand on Remus' back briefly as they walked towards the pub. Remus' had jumped, and his heart beat wildly in his chest for a few minutes after, but it hadn't been too bad. The second time was after they reached the pub. Remus, James and Peter found a corner booth to sit in while Sirius bought the drinks. After placing the tray of foaming glasses on the table, Sirius slid onto the seat next to Remus and allowed his whole body to bump up against him. It only lasted a second before Sirius moved away again, but Remus had to close his eyes and breathe through the panic for a few minutes.

Once he was calm again, he pressed his leg up against Sirius' under the table and shot him a smile of thanks. No matter what Sirius said, it must be hard for him to intentionally make Remus uncomfortable. Sirius gave him a wink and then turned to Peter.

'So, what do you want to do today?'

'Can we just explore the village a bit?' Peter asked, fidgeting with the handle of his glass. 'Every time we come, we're always in a rush.'

'Sounds like a plan,' James said. He picked up his glass. 'Let's finish these and get started.'

Fifteen minutes later, they were back outside in the blazing sunshine, keeping to the shade of the buildings as much as possible as they wandered up the main street looking in the shop windows.

Sirius wanted to visit Scrivenshaft's for some replacement nibs for his art quills. The ones that came with the set James gave him for his birthday had worn out with all the drawing he'd been doing decorating the cave. They now had a painting of the Great Lake depicting their visit with Amaria, although she wasn't animated, unfortunately. And a mural of their negotiations with the centaurs.

After Scrivenshaft's, Peter said he wanted to check out the apothecary because he'd been too nervous to look around the last time they'd been. By the time they emerged he'd collected four books, a new set of brewing utensils, several interesting ingredients and an assortment of crystal vials after James bought everything he showed an interest in. And Peter was grinning from ear to ear.

They spent a long and tedious half an hour in Spintwitches while James, Sirius and Peter drooled over the sporting equipment. And a far too short thirty minutes in Tomes and Scrolls where Sirius bought Remus a gorgeous book detailing the intricacies of charm alteration after he tried to surreptitiously take down some notes from it without the shop assistant spotting him.

'We'll have to be getting back soon,' James said as they left the bookshop. 'But there's one more place I want to go, first.'

'Zonkos?' Sirius guessed.

James shook his head. 'Better.'

'Better than a joke shop?' Remus asked. What on earth would James consider to be better than a joke shop?

James was bouncing on his toes so fast he was practically vibrating. 'I heard some older kids talking about it, it's a haunted house on the outskirts of the village.'

'We _live_ in a haunted castle,' Sirius said. 'We eat breakfast with ghosts every day.'

'These ghosts are different. They scream and howl during the night and smash stuff around. People are calling it the "Shrieking Shack" and apparently it only started last summer. I thought we could investigate!'

Remus stiffened, realising what James was talking about. This was not good. The last thing he needed was James and Peter digging around his cage.

'It sounds kind of dangerous,' Peter said.

James deflated a little, clearly not wanting to push Peter on this particular day. 'Alright, but can we at least go take a look?'

Peter hesitated, but gave in when James gave him a pleading puppy-dog look. 'Fine. We can take a look, but I don't want to get too close.'

James whooped and punched his fist in the air. 'To the Shrieking Shack!'

Remus wasn't happy about this _at all_. Either Sirius sensed his unease or he'd also realised which house the locals had named, because as James marched off into the distance calling for them to follow him, Sirius sidled up to Remus and whispered, 'It's going to be fine.'

Peter had already started after James, so Remus felt safe enough to whisper back. 'Don't touch me while we're there. I'm too anxious.'

Sirius nodded, and they followed after James and Peter, walking fast to catch up. They reached the outskirts of the village five minutes later.

'There it is,' James said, sounding breathless with excitement.

The house was nothing special to look at. Situated some distance from the rest of the village, it reminded Remus of a child left out of a group game; watching sadly from the sidelines and wishing they could join in. It was a two-storey building, taller than it was wide, and all the doors and windows were boarded up, giving it an intimidating air.

'Doesn't sound haunted to me,' Sirius said.

'The spirits are only active at night.' James spun around to look at them. 'We should come back after dark.'

Peter groaned. 'Don't we have enough to do?'

'Pete's right,' Remus said, quick to jump on the excuse. 'All our free time is taken up with the potion as it is, we need all the sleep we can get. And we have exams next month to revise for.'

James rolled his eyes. 'Fine. Next year then.'

Great. All he'd managed to do was delay it. But at least he didn't have to worry about James snooping around until after the summer, and maybe he could find a way to put him off again later.

-o-o-o-o-

Sunday, 28th May

The month since the last full moon had passed in a blur of potion brewing, exam revision and cuddling with Remus. He seemed completely comfortable with any contact he was in control of now, and he was getting better with surprise contact too. He was fine with the brief gentle touches Sirius had started with, and he'd since progressed on to surprising him with prolonged contact like an arm around his shoulders or grabbing his hand and refusing to let go. It was hard when he could see Remus struggling through his panic. His instinct was to back off, but because he knew it was what Remus wanted, he fought the urge and forced himself into Remus' personal space as much as possible.

Classes had become boring as hell in the run-up to the exams. All the teachers were just rehashing material they'd already covered, and Sirius already knew it all. Everyone except Professor McGonagall, who had earned herself queen status in Sirius' mind. She had been testing their knowledge by setting them increasingly difficult challenges in each class for the last week. The first had been to "make their chairs more comfortable," and they'd spent an enjoyable hour transfiguring their chairs into anything and everything from beanbags to squishy armchairs. Remus had turned his into a small bed and tried to take a nap.

The second challenge was to turn a block of wood into an artistic sculpture. Considering the Marauders had turned bowls of water into beautiful ice sculptures months ago for the Christmas disco, they had no problem with this task. James had created a realistic Gryffindor lion and Remus, a perfect imitation of Cosmo, curled up asleep. Even Peter had managed a fair representation of a dancing mooncalf. He might have done a better job if he hadn't picked a subject that kept making him break out into giggles. Sirius had successfully transfigured his wood into a model of the Marauders, arms around each other's shoulders and laughter on their faces. He was delighted at the end of the lesson when McGonagall said they could keep what they'd made, and his model now had pride of place above the fireplace in their dorm room.

With only three weeks to go until the end of term, the Spectral Essence was nearing completion. They hoped to get to step forty-eight by that evening, completing the next two steps the following weekend. The potion then had to be left to stand for fifty-six hours before the final ingredient was added—the thestral hair—so they wouldn't be able to finish it until the following Wednesday. But they would still be done a full nine days before the deadline. Something they were all proud of.

With the full moon that night, Sirius had spent much of the day cuddling with Remus under the pretext of contact immersion, when he wasn't needed to stir, chop, grind or otherwise help with the brewing. But mid-afternoon Remus had told them he was feeling unwell and left for the Hospital Wing. Sirius was a ball of anxiety for the rest of the afternoon, but he hid it well, and they were finished just before nine. Moon-rise was late in the summer months, and Sirius was grateful for that. It meant he should be able to get there before Remus transformed.

He was in luck, because James and Peter fell asleep almost as soon as they reached the dorm, exhausted from staying up half the night with the potion. As soon as he was sure they wouldn't be waking up again, he drew the curtains around his own bed, grabbed the invisibility cloak and snuck down to the Whomping Willow, letting himself into the Shrieking Shack to wait for Remus.

'Evening, Wolf Boy,' Sirius said when Remus' head came through the trapdoor twenty minutes later.

Remus offered him a weak smile. 'Hey.'

Remus' face was pale, and his forehead creased with pain. Sirius hurried over to help him up the ladder.

'Is it bad?'

'Not as bad as it could be,' Remus said, forcing another smile onto his face.

Sirius wasn't fooled. 'Why are you lying to me? It's obvious you're worse than last month. Look at you, you can barely stand.'

It was true, Remus was wobbling on his feet and gripping onto the wall to stay upright.

Remus looked at the ground, avoiding Sirius' eyes. 'I just don't want you to worry. I think it's all the revision we've been doing. It's drained me more than usual.'

'Come here,' Sirius said, sitting on the floor with his back against the wall and his legs crossed. 'We've got half an hour before moonrise.'

Remus stumbled over, and Sirius tugged him down onto his lap, wrapped his arms around him and guided his head to rest on his shoulder. Remus moaned and buried his face in Sirius' neck again, just like last month.

'Okay?' Sirius asked.

Remus hummed.

Sirius lifted his arm and combed his fingers through Remus' curls. 'Don't try to hide your pain from me. Please. I know when you're hurting, I don't like it when you lie to me.'

'Okay,' Remus mumbled into his neck, making Sirius shiver. 'Sorry.'

'Don't be sorry. Just don't do it again.'

They were quiet for a few minutes, and then, 'Sirius?'

'Hm?'

'You smell really good,' Remus murmured, sounding like he was drunk.

Sirius' stomach flipped over. 'Do I?'

'Mmm. Makes the pain better.'

'I'm glad.' And he was. There was nothing Sirius wanted more than to take away Remus' suffering, and to discover his natural scent helped him in that way was thrilling. He chuckled. 'I think you're going to regret telling me that tomorrow, though.'

'Prob'ly,' Remus mumbled. 'Time is it?'

Sirius checked his watch. 'Ten more minutes.'

Remus sighed and burrowed his head further. 'Don't want you to go.'

'Me neither, but I'll have to,' Sirius said, wishing it wasn't true.'You know, I bought you Cosmo to keep you company during the full moons. Why don't you bring her?'

'Wouldn't be fair. She might be scared,' Remus said.

'I knew it'd be something noble and selfless,' Sirius said, shaking his head at his friend. Remus just shrugged.

A few minutes later, Remus lifted his head and sighed. 'You have to go, I can feel it coming.' He hauled himself to his feet, and Sirius stood up. His legs had pins and needles from Remus' weight, and he couldn't feel his feet properly as he staggered towards the trapdoor.

'Good luck, Wolf Boy.'

Remus smiled, 'See you in the morning.'

Sirius took one last look at his friend and jumped down into the tunnel below, not bothering with the ladder. He strolled up the passage a little way to give Remus his privacy and waited to hear the sound of the trapdoor closing before he turned back around and settled in for a long night.

He'd actually come prepared this month, bringing along a notebook to write in—easier to keep still with one hand than a sheet of parchment—and a book to read to Moony instead of having to think of things to say. He was feeling quite smug about it. Until the screaming started.

Sirius would never get used to the sounds Remus made when he was transforming. They were brutal. Sickening. They made him want to hunt down the monster that did this to him and slaughter them. Instead, he opened his notebook and grabbed Remus' muggle pen from his bag.

_Hey Wolf Boy,_

_It's ten to eleven for me, but morning for you, and I'm so glad your suffering is over for another month._

_You told me something tonight. I don't know if you remember, and I'm sure you probably regret it if you do, but I'm glad you told me. I want so badly to take away your pain, and knowing I can do that, to some extent, simply by holding you in the run-up to the moon is a blessing I don't deserve. Please don't be embarrassed about it. You have my permission to revel in my delectable scent as much as you like (Imagine me winking at you here.)_

_Merlin, why does it take so long? I wish I could speed up time for you, Remus. I hate that you suffer so much. I would blow up the moon for you if I could._

_You can keep this notebook, by the way, but can you put it in your bag when you pack for full moons next year? Writing to you helps distract me from the noise. And if I'm writing in the same notebook each time, I can't be tempted to scrap what I've written and start again, because the torn-out page would give me away._

_Oh, thank Merlin, the screa—_

_Fuck, Remus. I'm so afraid for you. I shouldn't have gone into the house. This is all my fault. But I know you'll want to know what happened when you wake up, so I'm going to write it down. Gods, I hope you wake up..._

_Okay. I'm back, and I've pulled myself together. It's three-thirty in the morning, and Moony is quiet, which I hope is because he's fallen asleep, and not because he's bleeding to death. Gods Remus, I am so sorry._

_When you finally stopped screaming, it was quiet for a moment, and then Moony made the most horrendous growl. It sent a chill down my spine. He started scratching at something; I assume it was the wall where I was sitting with you, and he was growling the whole time. I was calling to him, but he ignored me, entirely focused on the smell of human, I guess. Then, gods, it was horrible, Remus. Moony let out this howl of absolute despair. It broke my heart, but not as much as what happened next. There was a thump and a sound of pain. And more growling and more pained sounds. It took a while, because I'm an idiot, but I eventually realised that I was hearing Moony tear himself apart because he could smell me, and he couldn't get to me. And he was furious._

_I kept calling out to him, shouting his name, trying to get his attention. I tried so hard to make him stop, Remus, I swear, but he ignored me for over an hour. It was past midnight before he finally acknowledged me and stopped hurting himself._

_Remus, I hope you can forgive me for what's happened tonight. It was stupid of me to come into the house. As usual, I acted without thinking, and this time you got hurt because of it._

_All I can do is say how very, very sorry I am._

_Sirius._

Sirius wiped the tears from his eyes and put the pen back in Remus' bag. The page of the notebook was splashed with his tears, but he didn't care if Remus knew he'd been crying. He wanted Remus to know, _needed_ him to know, how sorry he was.

Sirius reread the start of the letter and cringed. The joke about his "delectable scent" was in poor taste after what had happened, but he wouldn't censor it. He'd already taken enough from Remus.

There was still an hour and a half until Madam Pomfrey would arrive. Sirius was emotionally and physically drained, but, even though he desperately needed to get some sleep before Monday's classes, he wasn't going anywhere. He pulled Remus' Crest out and wrapped it around the notebook to make sure he'd find it and slid it into his bag. And then he covered himself with the invisibility cloak and sat down to wait.

Madam Pomfrey arrived promptly at five o'clock, just ten minutes after moon-set, causing Sirius to feel a rush of affection for the woman. She hadn't left her patient waiting so she could get a little extra sleep, even though the last three full-moons had been injury-free. He stood up carefully so she wouldn't hear him as he watched her wave her wand at the trapdoor and open it.

Time seemed to slow down as he waited for a sign. Something to tell him whether Remus lived or… He couldn't even think the word. He was holding his breath. And then Remus was lowered through the trapdoor on a stretcher. His face was pale, and he was covered in a sheet that was stained with blood. Sirius could only see his arms, and they were torn to shreds. He dreaded to think what the rest of him looked like. But he was breathing. Blessedly, breathing. Sirius' knees went weak with relief, and he almost stumbled and gave himself away, but by some miracle managed to stay put. He followed Madam Pomfrey back to the Hospital Wing to make sure Remus survived the trip but didn't go inside. If he was lucky, he might be able to get two hours' sleep before James and Peter woke up.

Remus returned from the Hospital Wing late Monday evening, well after classes had ended for the day. He said hello to James and Peter, before walking over to Sirius, sitting down on the bed next to him and taking his hand. Sirius met his eyes and Remus smiled at him.

'You feeling better?' Sirius asked, knowing Remus would understand the hidden question beneath the words.

'Completely better,' Remus said. 'As if nothing was ever wrong.'

'Good.'

Remus opened his bag, glanced at James and Peter who weren't paying them any attention whatsoever, and pulled out the notebook Sirius had left there.

'I am quite tired though,' Remus said, handing the notebook to Sirius. 'Not much chance to sleep in the Hospital Wing with people coming in wailing in pain all day. So I'm going to get an early night.'

And with that, he squeezed Sirius' hand and retreated to his bed. Sirius called goodnight to James and Peter and drew the curtains around his own bed before he opened the notebook and turned to the second page.

_Hi Sirius (I really need to think of a nickname for you, it's really not fair that you have so many for me and I have none.)_

_It's two in the afternoon, and I'm finally feeling well enough to sit up. The first thing I did was reach for my bag to see if you'd written me another letter. You had, but as you know, it was not a happy letter._

_First, Sirius, I forgive you. Even though there's nothing to forgive, I know you won't believe that so, I forgive you._

_Second, I'm sorry too. What happened last night is entirely my fault. I knew what would happen if you went inside the house, and I knew there was a chance you might arrive before me. I should have warned you not to, and I didn't. Please don't blame yourself. It must have been horrible for you having to listen to that and not be able to do anything, and I understand if you don't want to come again next year._

_Third, I don't remember what I said to you last night, but you seem to be aware that your scent acts as pain relief for me. I have no idea why it does, and I'm mortified that I told you. But your acceptance of my weirdness is welcome, and I'm beyond grateful for your invitation to "revel" at my will. As mortifying as it is, I find myself too weak to say no to pain relief, no matter what form it takes._

_Sirius, if you find a way to speed up time I would be grateful, but please don't blow up the moon, it wouldn't help, and I believe it would result in the death of all life on the planet. So, you know, not a great idea._

_I like the idea of the notebook. It's nice to wake up to your letters when I'm in pain. But I have a slight improvement to your plan. After I wake up the next morning and read your words, I'll write back to you. Then the next full moon you'll have a letter from me to distract you from the noise. That's if you still want to be there, of course. As I said, I understand if you don't._

_Yours in anticipation,_

_Wolf Boy._

Sirius chuckled at the signature and immediately grabbed a quill to reply.

_Wolf Boy,_

_Thank you._

_I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I accept it gratefully._

_I love the idea of you writing me a letter to read while I'm waiting for Moony. Please keep the notebook for the summer and write in it so I have something for the September moon, which I will, of course, be attending. Silly Wolf Boy._

_I will always accept your weirdness, Remus, if you promise to always accept mine._

_And I promise not to blow up the moon._

_As for a nickname, perhaps something to do with the stars?_

_Gratefully yours,_

_Sirius._

Sirius slipped the notebook into Remus' bag on Monday morning with a lightness in his heart. He'd been so worried Remus would hate him for causing him such horrifying injuries, but he should've known better. For the next five days, Sirius threw himself back into helping Remus, surprising him with hugs at every opportunity, and by Friday he was no longer reacting negatively when Sirius touched him.

To celebrate, they decided to take Saturday morning off from brewing and join the rest of the school in the beach room to watch the Sand-Wars final. The winning team from each house would be battling it out in one last match. It was bound to be exciting. The delay would mean they had to stay in the cave later into Sunday evening, but they were all willing to make that sacrifice.

So at quarter to nine on Saturday morning, they ambled down the seventh-floor landing and into the secret room. The crowd was enormous, and Remus looked a little worried, sidling up close to Sirius and brushing his hand with his.

'You're okay,' Sirius whispered to him. 'Nothing bad's going to happen if someone touches you.'

'I know, but can we stay at the back?'

James overheard Remus' question and answered before Sirius could. 'Course. We want to be able to leave first, anyway.'

So they found a space at the back of the crowd, closest to the exit, and waited for the match to begin. Ten minutes later, the lights went out and loud, thumping music filled the room. A single spotlight appeared in the middle of the battlefield, lighting up the Chiefs of Raucous Revelry, waving and blowing kisses. The crowd applauded and cheered and the music gradually reduced in volume until all that could be heard was a low rhythmic drum beat.

'Welcome to the final of the first-ever Hogwarts Sand-Wars tournament. The teams battling it out in this penultimate match have made it here through their bravery, wit, cunning and loyalty and today's battle promises to be spectacular,' Chief number one said.

'In the red corner fighting for Gryffindor, we have Brute Force!' Chief number two said, waving his hand towards one of the castles. A light appeared around the castle, and the mixed team of three boys and a girl waved from the battlements and windows.

'In the blue corner fighting for Ravenclaw, we have The Sand-sational Sisters,' Chief number one said. Again the castle in question was lit up, and the team inside waved—all girls.

Chief number two took over commentating again. 'In the green corner, fighting for Slytherin, we have The Winners! A little cocky there, guys.' The lights came on over the Slytherin castle and the inhabitants were smirking.

'It's proven to be an accurate name so far,' one of them shouted.

'And in the yellow corner, fighting for Hufflepuff we have Surprisingly Savage.'

When the clapping died down, Chief number one continued the introduction. 'This match is Last Team Standing. When all four of your castle's flags are white, you're out. Owing to an incident during Gryffindor's heats, we must specify that only spells are to be used, no potions are allowed.'

The Marauders all sniggered at the addition to the rules, and James and Sirius gave each other a high five.

The Chiefs retreated to the edge of the battlefield before asking the teams to prepare for battle.

'Three, two, one. Fight!'

The fighting was fast and brutal. Spells flew back and forth at breathtaking speeds, but the defenders were just as good as the attackers, and the various hexes and curses rarely hit their targets. To the Marauders dismay, Gryffindor's castle began to crumble first after a rather nasty exploding hex got through the defence, hitting the castle right in the centre and blowing the entire front wall to smithereens. They held the castle together for a while longer, but the other teams, scenting weakened prey, ganged up against them and they fell under the onslaught of spells.

'Damn,' Peter said, as they watched the Gryffindors trudge from the battlefield. 'Maybe we shouldn't have conceded.'

'We wouldn't have survived as long as they did. We can't even shield against most of the spells being used,' Remus said.

James turned away from the ongoing battle. 'Do we even care who wins now? Let's just go.'

So they left, descending the stairs to the fourth floor and entering the passage behind the mirror. Once they were safely out of view inside the tunnel, Sirius grabbed Remus' hand. Remus gave him a crooked smile and hugged his arm.

'Guys,'

James and Peter turned their heads to show they were listening.

'I think I'm ready for you to help.'

James grinned. 'That's brilliant. What do you want us to do?'

Remus bit his lip. 'I'm not sure.'

James stopped walking and held out his hand to Remus. 'Try it.' He nodded to his hand.

Remus let go of Sirius and swallowed. There was a pause while he stared at James' outstretched hand, and then he nodded firmly and reached out and touched it with his finger. He tilted his head to the side and then placed his whole palm against James'.

'It's fine,' he said. 'No panic at all.'

James grinned and opened his arms. 'Can I have a hug, then?'

Remus chuckled. 'Alright, but don't hug me back right away.'

James nodded that he understood and then beckoned with his fingers. 'Bring it in.'

Sirius watched Remus wrap his arms around James and got an odd feeling in his stomach, a weird kind of squirming, and he didn't like it. At the same time, his chest swelled with warmth, because _he_ had helped Remus reach this point.

'Okay, you can hug me back,' Remus said after a moment. And James very gently wrapped his arms around Remus and squeezed him. Remus laughed and pulled away.

'Nothing. I didn't feel scared at all,' he said with a huge ass grin on his face.

'My turn,' Peter said, holding out his arms for his own hug.

Remus immediately went to him. And he didn't have any trouble hugging Peter either. When Remus released Peter, he turned around and locked eyes with Sirius.

'Thank you.'

Sirius swallowed the lump in his throat. 'It was my pleasure,' he said.

Remus smiled at him before turning back to James and Peter. 'I still need to know if I can handle surprise touch when it's not Sirius.'

'Not a problem,' James said. 'Surprise hugs are my speciality.'

'Surprise kisses, too,' Peter said, nodding. 'Watch out for those.'

James grabbed Peter's head and kissed him on the cheek. 'You love my surprise kisses.'

'I don't know why I'm friends with you.' Peter wiped his cheek with the back of his hand and scowled at James.

'It's because you love me,' James said in a voice filled with supreme confidence. 'Because I'm ultra-loveable.'

'Hmm, no, I don't think that's it,' Peter said. 'I think it must be all the money.'

James shoved him. 'Well, no more presents for you then.'

'Like you could even stop if you tried,' Peter said, laughing as he stumbled into the wall of the tunnel.

James paused and rubbed his chin. 'No, you're right, I probably couldn't. Good thing I know that was a joke, and you're not friends with me just because I'm rich.'

James' words were confident, but his voice betrayed a certain anxiety, suggesting he wasn't as sure about it as he made out.

Peter noticed it too. 'Of course, it was a joke, James. I don't care about your money.'

James nodded. 'I know.'

'Are we going to keep going, or just hang out in the tunnel all day?' Sirius asked to take the attention off of James, who was looking uncomfortable.

'Yes,' James said, grabbing on to the topic-change with both hands. 'Come on, the sooner we start, the sooner we get out of here.'

As they fell back into step, Sirius wondered if Remus would stop being so physical with him now he was used to it enough to touch other people. After six weeks of almost constant physical affection, he didn't want it to stop.

Then Remus took his hand and leaned into his arm. 'Is it okay if I still do this?' he asked.

Sirius looked down at him. Remus was blushing, and he grinned. 'It's fine with me, Nerd Boy.'


	40. Chapter 39

Monday 5th June

For at least a month Remus had been feeling as though a kaleidoscope of butterflies had taken up residence inside his stomach, and the closer they got to the end-of-year exams, the more energetic the butterflies became. His entire future rested on the results. Without passes in at least four subjects he wouldn't be able to continue at school, and it was hard enough for a werewolf to find work, never mind an uneducated one. So, when they received the exam timetable at breakfast on Monday morning, he let out a groan at the sight of _Monday, 8:30 am, Potions, Practical and Written combined_. He'd been hoping to make up for his poor practical grade with the written part of the test, but that would be impossible now. There was no way he could concentrate with all the fumes in the air.

The exam went as badly as he'd predicted. He got the potion started okay, but his head was swimming within five minutes and while trying to focus on answering the questions, he'd forgotten to keep a watch on his timer. His cauldron let out an ear-splitting shriek before the contents combusted. Within seconds, all that was left of his swelling solution was ash.

Things vastly improved from there, however. He was fairly sure he would get top marks on his Charms paper, and on Tuesday morning he completed his Transfiguration practical without a hitch, performing all five of Professor McGonagall's requests perfectly. Tuesday afternoon was spent in Greenhouse one, drawing and annotating each of the plants they'd studied that year and writing a paragraph for each summarising their care and usage. It was unbearably hot, and they were all glad to leave when it was over, but he felt he'd done well.

The Charms practical on Wednesday morning was the best exam by far. Professor Flitwick had set up an obstacle course which required all the spells they'd learned to complete it. The course was timed and their final grade depended on how quickly they reached the end.

So they were all in good moods when they grabbed some food from the Hall and retreated to their cave to complete the last step of the Spectral Essence. Even Peter had completed the Charms course in a decent time, earning himself an E.

Remus watched from the entrance to the tent as Sirius added the thestral hairs to the brew, before Peter took over to stir.

'We'll be done in time for the Astronomy exam, right?' Remus asked when Sirius joined him on his long-distance vigil.

'Yeah, this part will only take about an hour,' Sirius said, keeping his voice quiet so he wouldn't interrupt Peter's counting. 'Do you want to go inside? It's James' turn to stir next.'

Remus nodded, and they entered the tent, climbing onto one of the beds. Remus settled himself into the crook of Sirius' arm and laid his head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

'Only two more weeks. Do you think you're ready?' Sirius asked him.

Remus tilted his head to look up at him and smiled. 'Thanks to you.'

'You did all the work. I just sat there and let you feel me up.'

Remus snorted and smacked him on his stomach. 'Behave.'

'Never,' Sirius said, winking at him.

'What about you?' Remus asked. 'Are you ready?'

He heard Sirius' heart speed up at the question. 'No.'

Remus squeezed his hand. 'It's just a few weeks and then you'll be back here with us.'

Sirius held him tighter, as if he never wanted to let go. 'I know,' he whispered. 'That's the only thing keeping me together.'

'Is it going to be that bad?' Remus' heart clenched at the fear in Sirius' voice.

Sirius glanced at him, and his face cleared, breaking into his trademark grin. 'What? No. It'll be fine. She'll probably send me to my room for the summer. It's going to be boring as hell without you guys.'

Remus didn't feel all that reassured. But he was prevented from questioning Sirius further by Peter entering the tent.

He took one look at them on the bed and raised an eyebrow. 'How do I get in on this cuddlefest?'

Sirius chuckled and lifted his free arm. 'Get over here.'

'James'll need you to take over for him in ten minutes,' Peter said as he joined them.

'Ah, James and his weak little arms,' Sirius said. 'No staying power, that one.'

Sirius, James and Peter continued to take turns stirring the potion through the final hour of brewing, switching out whenever their arm began to ache, and at four minutes past two, on the afternoon of June 7th 1972, the potion was finished.

Peter filled eight vials and handed them out with a grin, passing two to each of them. 'We did it.'

'Not quite,' Remus said. 'We still have to complete the rest of the task.'

'Pfft. That'll be a breeze,' James said. 'Let's go through the door now, get the flag, and then we can hang it after the exam tonight.'

'Shouldn't we clear away our stuff first?' Remus asked, looking around at the mess.

'We should at least bottle the rest of the potion,' Peter said. 'In case we need to get through the door again.'

James, reluctantly, agreed, and Peter bottled the rest of the potion, while James, Remus and Sirius gave the cave a quick tidy up, but they left the tent where it was. They might need it again for future projects. It took thirty minutes to reach the plain, handleless, black door on the sixth floor, and when they finally stood outside, James turned to face them.

'This is it,' he said. 'Is everyone ready?'

Sirius grinned. 'I was born ready.'

'I'm just hoping you all made this right,' Remus said, rolling his eyes at Sirius over-enthusiasm.

'Of course, I made it right,' Peter said. 'But you can go first, James.'

'Oh hell no,' James said. 'We all go together, cheers.'

James stuck out his hand, holding his first dose of the potion, and Remus, Sirius and Peter clinked theirs against it, before shooting each other one more glance and downing the contents.

It tasted revolting, and they all gagged after swallowing. Remus' body felt fuzzy, like it was melting — or becoming a gas? He looked down at himself and gasped. He was translucent. Not like when Madam Pomfrey disillusioned him, but like Peeves. He looked like a poltergeist.

'Cool,' Sirius said next to him.

Remus looked back up to see James, Sirius, and Peter were all examining their own translucent bodies with interest.

'Weird,' Remus said.

'So this is what it'd be like to be a ghost,' James said. 'It's kind of tempting.'

'We should get a move on,' Peter said. 'It only lasts two minutes.'

'Oh, good point,' James said, spinning around. 'Let's do this.'

And with that, he marched straight through the door. Sirius shrugged and followed him.

Remus glanced at Peter. He looked nervous, so he offered him his hand. 'Together?'

Peter nodded and took his hand—which felt solid in Remus' own non-corporeal hand—and together they stepped through the door. The sensation was strange, like the opposite of passing through water, and Remus couldn't help his gasp. But it was over in a second and they were inside a windowless, but well-lit and spacious room.

There were two desks pushed up against one wall, loose sheets of parchment covering their surfaces like a blanket. A brewing station took up the entire wall opposite them, complete with storage for ingredients and finished potions. The other two walls held huge blackboards displaying notes and diagrams with very little unused space remaining to add more.

'What the hell?' Remus said, looking around.

James did that thing where he bounces so fast he seems to be vibrating. 'Don't you see? It's a base of operations. This is going to be ours!'

'Only if we find the flag,' Sirius said. 'I don't see it.'

'Didn't think it would be that easy, did you?' James asked with a devilish grin.

They waited until the potion had worn off and they were solid once more before beginning the search. Remus and Peter took a desk each, while James and Sirius rooted through the potion storage, but they all came up empty.

'Where else could it be?' James asked.

Peter bent down and checked the underside of the desks. 'Nope.'

'Behind one of the blackboards?' Remus suggested.

Sirius and James worked together to lift one of the heavy blackboards off the wall, and Remus and Peter moved behind it to inspect the back, but there was nothing there.

'Damn, I was hoping we wouldn't have to do the other one,' James said, grunting under the strain.

They finally found the flag spellotaped to the back of the second blackboard, and Remus tucked it into his pocket, before pulling out his second vial of potion.

'Ready to go?'

-o-o-o-o-

The astronomy exam was a piece of piss. Complete a star chart of the current night sky; Sirius could have done it in his sleep. But it was finally over and he was hanging back with the other Marauders, waiting for everyone else to head out of the door. Once the room had emptied, they followed the crowd to the top of the stairs, and, when they were certain no-one was looking, they crowded together and draped the cloak over themselves. So far, so good. They continued to follow the chattering students down the stairs, but slipped off when they reached the fifth floor, closing the stairwell door behind them.

Alone, they removed the cloak and James strolled over to the tapestry of the solar system hanging on the wall, pulling it back to reveal the secret passage, and his Nimbus 1200 they'd stashed there earlier.

James grabbed the broom and turned around. 'You have the flag, Remus?'

Remus folded material from his bag and passed it to James.

'Which one of you is coming with me then?'

Sirius grinned. 'Me, naturally.'

James mounted the broom and grinned back at him. 'Then let's go.'

Sirius climbed onto the broom behind James, took the flag, and wrapped his arms around his waist. James pushed off gently, so they only rose a couple of feet and hovered in mid-air.

'Back soon,' he said to Remus and Peter, before leaning forward and accelerating at top speed out of the window.

Sirius barked out a laugh at the sudden burst of speed and held on tighter as James soared into the sky.

'We have a job to do, James,' he shouted over the sound of rushing air in his ears.

'Yeah, but why not have a little fun while we're at it, right?'

Sirius could see his point. It was a clear night, and the stars looked beautiful. The air was cool, which was welcome after the heat of the day, and flying was always exhilarating. But his head felt heavy with fatigue and his bed was calling to him.

'I think that's enough fun now,' he said after letting James zoom around for a minute or two to get it out of his system. 'It would suck if we got caught now and failed the test.'

As Sirius had hoped, that caught James' attention.

'Yeah, you're right. That would really suck.'

James turned the broom, so it was pointing at the top of the Astronomy Tower and accelerated, pulling to a sharp stop at the spire. Sirius unrolled the flag. And then it occurred to him they had a problem.

'Er, James? How're we going to attach it?'

'I was wondering when you'd think of that,' James said. He let go of the broom with one hand and reached into his pocket, pulling something out and handing it to Sirius.

'Pinched it from the den when we were looking for the flag,' he said by way of explanation.

It was a small vial of sticking solution, perfect.

'You are _brilliant_ , mate,' Sirius said with a chuckle.

James messed up his already appalling hair and shot a cocky grin over his shoulder. 'I know.'

Sirius gripped the broom with his thighs as he applied the sticking solution to the flagpole. And when he leant out to press it against the spire, James held onto his arm to keep him from falling. It was both terrifying and the most fun he'd had in his life.

They returned to the fifth floor, soaring in through the window victorious, and it was a wonder any of them got any sleep, with them all so high on joy after completing the task. It had taken five long months, but they'd done it.

The next morning, the Marauders watched with amusement as small crowds of students congregated in the courtyard after breakfast, staring up at the top of the Astronomy Tower, muttering and giggling to each other.

The flag was huge. In fact, Sirius was certain it had grown since he stuck it up there, because it definitely wasn't that big last night. It was so large the motif could easily be seen from the ground.

On a background of red, green, yellow, and blue, the words _Mischief Makers Rule this School_ were written in bold black letters.

It was still there when they arrived for lunch after their written Defence exam—Sirius was fairly sure he'd aced the question on werewolves—but the flag was removed at some point during the afternoon, because when they left the greenhouse after their Herbology practical, it was gone.

They weren't sure how the Chiefs of Raucous Revelry would contact them, but they assumed they must have access to Gryffindor Tower to have left the letter on Christmas day, so after dinner, they returned to their dorm to wait.

At seven-thirty there was a knock on the door and they all looked up from their game of exploding snap and glanced at each other, grinning.

James got up to answer the knock and Sirius, Remus and Peter stood up, facing the door in a line.

James pulled the door open to find Gideon and Fabian Prewett standing on the other side.

'I knew it!' James said. 'Didn't I tell you, Sirius?'

As Sirius remembered it, James had actually suspected the twins of being the Hogwarts Marauder, before they found out it was their very own roommate, but he decided not say so.

'Are you going to let them in, or just leave them standing in the doorway?'

James laughed and stepped out of the way. 'Right, yeah. Come in.'

The twins waited until James had closed the door before grinning wickedly.

'Congratulations, Marauders,' Fabian said. 'We never expected you to actually do it.'

Gideon nodded. 'Just wanted to see how far you would get with that ridiculous potion before you gave up.'

'Boy, did you prove us wrong,' Fabian said, laughing. 'Where on earth did you get centaur hair?'

James shrugged like it was nothing. 'Made a sacred bond with the second in command of the herd in the forest.'

'During the Creature Hunt,' Sirius added. 'You're telling me we wasted all our free time for five months for nothing?'

The twins looked at each other and shrugged. 'Pretty much,' they said in unison.

'Unbelievable,' Sirius said, laughing. 'Devious as hell. And kind of brilliant.'

'So there's no legacy?' James asked, looking disappointed.

Fabian shook his head. 'Oh no, there's a legacy.'

'It was just already yours,' Gideon said. 'We picked you at Christmas after that awesome party you organised.'

'But we needed to be sure you weren't the type to quit easily when things got hard,' Fabian said. 'This job's a lot of fun, but it's a lot of work too.'

'We can handle it,' James said, puffing out his chest.

'We know you can,' Fabian said. 'You've proven that. There's a lot to talk about, though. Can we sit?'

'Sure,' James said, waving them towards Sirius' bed. The Marauders all perched on the edge of Remus' bed, facing the twins.

'No one knows how it began, but we do know this job has been passed down from generation to generation for several hundred years, and there are a few traditions that go along with it, which we'll explain in a moment,' Fabian said. 'But your most important task is organising the Hogwarts annual games. And they must continue every year until such time as a game is discovered by the staff and measures put in place to prevent it.'

'But you can invent new games and add to the traditions if you want to,' Gideon said.

'Yes, I was getting to that, Gid.'

'Well, sorry, _Fab_. But you're taking forever. Get to the good stuff already.'

Fabian rolled his eyes at his brother. 'Must you always be so impatient? We have to tell them everything first.'

'Fine, just hurry up.'

'As I was saying,' Fabian said, turning his attention back to the Marauders. 'Your main job is organising the games. Second to that, but almost as important, is keeping a record of everything you do for the next generation.' Fabian reached into his bag and pulled out a horrendously thick book, bound in red dragonskin with gold lettering across the front spelling out the words Mischief Makers' Journal. 'This is for you.'

Remus reached out and took the book, and being the nerd he is, immediately opened it and flicked through the pages. They were covered in notes and diagrams, similar to the ones they'd seen in the Den, and Sirius noticed the handwriting improved the closer he got to the back.

'This will help you get started,' Fabian said. 'And, of course, the room behind the black door is yours to use from September. It's completely secure, so don't worry about anyone breaking in.' He laughed. 'Unless someone else brews the Spectral Essence, but that seems unlikely.'

'Is there a way to access the room without the potion?' James asked.

Gideon grinned and rubbed his hands together. 'I'm glad you asked. It's finally time for the fun stuff. You have one more duty as Chiefs of Entertainment, you must create your own legacy to pass down to the next generation, and _this_ is our gift to you.' He pulled a small mokeskin pouch from his pocket and handed it to James.

After a brief glance at the others, James pulled the top of the bag open and reached inside, pulling out a small penknife with several attachments.

'Cool, thanks.' James said with forced enthusiasm. 'But how's this going to help us get through the door?'

'Years of craftsmanship went into that knife,' Fabian said. 'It unlocks any door and unties any knot. Including the black door.'

'Awesome!' James said, sounding much more genuine in his excitement now.

'And we have to make something like that?' Sirius asked. They had made some pretty cool things already, but the knife was way out of their league.

'Don't panic,' Gideon said. 'You'll get so much practice organising the games, you'll be well up to the task in a few years. We didn't think we could do it either, back when we were twelve.'

That did make Sirius feel better, and he felt a thrill of excitement. Would they really be able to make something that cool?

'One more bit of business, and we'll leave you in peace,' Fabian said. 'We're organising an all day beach party on Saturday, and we want to introduce you to the school at the end. So you need to decide how you're going to disguise yourselves. We have plenty of polyjuice if you want to go that route, but you'll need some hair from the person you're turning into. Let us know what you decide. Okay?'

'Alright,' Remus said, probably already thinking of options. 'I have a question, though. This is all secret from the staff, but what about the prefects?'

'A good question,' Fabian said, nodding. 'They won't get in your way.'

'How can you be sure?' Sirius asked. 'Most prefects are goody goodies.'

Fabian smirked. 'They can't. As soon as they put on a prefect badge they're hit with a tongue-tying curse that prevents them from speaking or writing about the games. A preventative measure put in place by one of our predecessors when prefects were first introduced to the school.'

Sirius chuckled. 'That must be so frustrating for them.'

'Especially since they don't know it's the badge that caused it,' Fabian agreed, laughing.

-o-o-o-o-

Remus sat on the beach, leaning back on his arms, with his knees slightly bent and his bare feet buried in the sand. His shoes and socks were next to him, along with his friends' stuff. The owners were off somewhere playing in the water. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, enjoying the magical-sun on his face—it felt exactly like the real thing, but without the risk of sunburn.

The beach party was amazing, there were organised games, the house-elves had provided tonnes of refreshments, a stage had been set up and several amateur school bands were taking it in turns to perform, some of them were even pretty good. At that moment, a trio of witches were up there and the lead singer had a beautiful voice, but the song was a little slow for Remus' mood. He wanted something loud and fast to reflect his feelings.

In a week's time, he would board the train at Hogsmeade station and when he got off, his mum would be there. Gods, he was excited. And terrified. But mostly excited. Thanks to Sirius and his incredible patience, he could hug his mum for the first time since he was five, without fear. The only part that scared him was confronting his father about the lie. He didn't know what to expect there at all. Would he make excuses? Pretend he thought it was true? Or would he admit it? Try to defend the lie in some way? Remus wasn't even sure what he would prefer. He was still so angry about it.

'Hi, Remus.'

He opened his eyes to the smiling face of Lily hovering over him.

'Have your friends abandoned you?' she asked, sitting down next to him.

Remus smiled. 'They're in the water. I'm not keen on swimming, though, so I offered to guard their stuff.'

'Well, that's not fair,' Lily said with a frown. 'If you don't enjoy swimming, they should've done something else.'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'You're determined to see them as bad people, aren't you? We've been doing other things all day, and I told them to go swim so I could sit down for a bit.'

'Oh.'

'Where are your friends?'

'I left them over by the stage, so I could talk to you.'

'Looking forward to going home?'

Lily smiled. 'I can't wait. I've missed my mum and dad so much. What about you?'

'Same,' Remus said, although it was only his mum he was excited to see. 'But I'm going to miss it here too.'

'We'll be back before we know it, and we'll be wishing the holidays would hurry up again.'

'Hey Nerd Boy, did you miss me? Oh, hello, Evans,' Sirius said, appearing out of nowhere, dripping wet and wearing nothing but his swimming trunks. The water droplets clinging to his skin glistened in the sunlight.

'Hello, Black,' Lily said with over-the-top politeness.

Sirius collapsed onto the sand next to Remus. 'I'm knackered.'

'Where's James and Pete?'

Sirius glanced sideways at Lily before answering. 'Still swimming. I needed a break.'

Remus took that to mean they'd gone backstage to take the polyjuice potion ready for their introduction as the new Chiefs of Entertainment. After much discussion Thursday night, they'd decided it'd be best if the school thought there were only two of them. That way they could take it in turns and no-one would notice they were always missing when the Marauders were around. James and Peter had won the lucky dip to see who got to play them today.

'I expect they'll be awhile yet,' Remus said to help cover for their absence. 'James is going to miss this place next year.'

'Maybe we'll find it again.'

'It's pretty unlikely.'

'Not if we walk around saying "Congratulations" everywhere,' Sirius said, laughing.

Remus chuckled. 'You can go ahead and do that, I'm going to carry on having a life, thank you.'

Sirius shoved him in the shoulder. 'Cheeky git.'

'Black!' Lily gasped. 'What the hell?'

'What?' Sirius asked, startled by the anger in her voice.

'Remus doesn't like being touched, surely you know that?'

Sirius looked at Remus with surprise. 'You didn't tell her?'

'Tell me what?'

'He's not scared of it anymore. I helped him get over it.'

'Really?' Lily asked, beaming at Remus. 'Why didn't you tell me?'

Remus shrugged. 'It just never came up.'

Lily gazed at him for a moment, before smiling shyly. 'Can I have a hug?'

'Sure,' Remus said, smiling back at her.

When Remus pulled away, Lily gazed at Sirius through narrowed eyes. 'Maybe you're not so bad after all, Black.'

'Careful, Evans. That was almost a compliment.'

'Students of Hogwarts, if we could have your attention, please.'

Remus looked towards the voice to see the Prewett twins, in their disguises as the Chiefs of Raucous Revelry, had taken control of the stage.

'We should go over,' Sirius said. 'Might be something interesting.'

'Help me with the bags,' Remus said, climbing to his feet and picking up his own bag and Peter's.

'Sure, make me carry James' monstrosity,' Sirius said, picking up the two remaining bags and eyeing James' with distaste.

'I'm telling him you said that.'

Sirius shrugged. 'Go ahead. You think I'm afraid of James?'

'I think it depends what he does in retaliation,' Remus replied with a smirk.

They reached the edge of the crowd in front of the stage then, and Remus moved closer to Sirius; he still felt uncomfortable in large crowds. Sirius brushed his hand against Remus' and hooked their index fingers together, before glancing down at him and winking.

'Thank you,' Chief number one said when everyone had congregated in front of the stage. Remus thought it was probably Fabian, the slightly more serious of the twins. 'We hope you're all enjoying the party.'

The crowd cheered and hollered and the Chiefs both gave a bow.

'We had an ulterior motive for arranging this event,' Chief number two said. 'While it's true that we wanted to help you all relax after the exams, we also need to say goodbye.'

Chief number one nodded. 'We'll be leaving the school for good next weekend, and so it's time to introduce our replacements.'

'You already know of them and you've all enjoyed their work. So please give a warm welcome to your new Entertainers in Chief, The Hogwarts' Marauders!'

The audience went crazy, hooting and hollering as James and Peter walked out onto the stage waving, disguised as a young man with blonde hair, and a slightly chubby man, closer to middle-age with dark brown hair, greying at the temples. Remus wondered which was which.

They'd decided to go with polyjuice potion as it was the simplest and most reliable way of disguising themselves, but coming up with a way to get hair from someone outside of the school in less than two days had been tricky, until they remembered the hats in Dervish and Banges. Sirius and James had made a quick dash into Hogsmeade on Friday afternoon to scour the hats in the shop for left behind hairs. They were successful, but they'd had no idea who they would turn into until they took the potion. All things considered, the results weren't too bad. They were both male, at least.

Remus chuckled when he noticed Lily was clapping and cheering along with everyone else. What would she say if she knew it was James she was cheering for?

'You a fan?' Remus asked her.

'Aren't you? The display they put on for Halloween was brilliant, and the Christmas party was so much fun,' Lily said. 'I bet they organise some fantastic events next year.'

'I'm positive they will,' Remus said, working hard to contain his laughter. James would love this, he thought, exchanging a glance with Sirius.

When the noise died down, the greying middle-aged man spoke. 'We're delighted to have been chosen to take over from the Chiefs of Raucous Revelry, and we won't let you down. You can look forward to some incredible events next year, guaranteed!'

That was probably James. The younger, blonde man looked nervous being the centre of attention, but he spoke next. 'The Chiefs tell us they have one more surprise event planned, and it's been cleared with the staff. So look out for that over the next few days and we'll see you all in September.'

James and Peter left the stage along with the Prewetts to more clapping and cheering, and one of the school bands trooped back out to perform.

Sirius grabbed Remus' hand and tugged. 'Let's go find James and Peter.'

'Alright.' Remus turned to Lily. 'I'll see you later.'

Lily waved him off and Remus followed Sirius out of the beach room.

'They said they'd meet us back in the dorm,' Sirius told him when they reached the landing.

The common room was eerily silent for a Saturday with almost everyone at the party, empty but for a couple of loners taking advantage of the quiet. Remus and Sirius tried not to disturb them as they crossed the room to the stairs, and climbed to their dorm.

'That was brilliant!' James said as they opened the door. Or at least Remus thought it was James. He still looked like a middle-aged man. 'Did you see how much they loved us?'

'Even Evans was cheering for you,' Sirius said with a smirk, nudging Remus with his elbow. 'Tell him what she said.'

'She thinks the Marauders are brilliant,' Remus said, chuckling at the weirdness of seeing James' love-struck expression on the face of an old man. 'She's expecting great things from us next year.'

'Merlin, you've done it now,' Peter said.

James was bouncing on his toes so fast he was vibrating again.

'I'd be careful doing that in that body,' Remus said. 'You might hurt yourself. It's a lot older than yours.'

'She thinks I'm brilliant?' James asked, his voice beyond thrilled.

'No, she thinks the Marauders are brilliant,' Remus corrected.

'But I am a Marauder.'

'She doesn't know that,' Sirius said.

'Doesn't matter. She thinks I'm brilliant. And one day I can tell her it was me all along.'

Remus shared a glance with Sirius and Peter.

'Er… Not until we graduate, though, right?' Remus said.

'What?' James asked. 'Oh, yeah. No, of course. Not until we graduate.'

Remus let out a relieved breath. James could be seriously hard work sometimes.

The next morning, Remus was sipping his morning tea in the Great Hall and considering the possibilities for breakfast when the post arrived and Rieka landed in front of him brandishing a letter. After detaching the scroll from her leg, Remus fed her a piece of bacon and unrolled it.

_Hi, sweetheart,_

_I hope you're having fun in your last week now the exams are over, and I'm sure you're worrying about nothing with your Potions grade._

_I'm afraid I won't be able to pick you up from the station on Saturday. I have an appointment that I have to attend and probably won't be back in time to Floo. So your dad is going to collect you._

_I can't wait to see you. I've missed you so much._

_Lots of love_

_Mum._

'Mum can't pick me up,' Remus said, rolling the letter back up while he swallowed down his disappointment.

'Ah, that's a shame,' James said. 'Who's coming instead?'

'My dad.'

Sirius turned his head, his silver eyes glinting with mischief. 'Guess we'll just have to put on a show for him instead then.'

'Yeah, it doesn't have to change the plan,' James said. 'Your dad's going to be just as pleased as your mum, right?'

More terrified than pleased, but wasn't that exactly what he wanted? This could actually work in his favour. 'Yeah. No need to change anything,' he agreed.

As Remus reached out to pick his tea-cup back up there was a loud crash and he jumped, whipping his head around to find the source of the noise. The doors to the Great Hall had been violently flung open and a robed figure stood in the doorway wearing an oversized hood that obscured their face. While everyone stared at the mystery person, stunned, they lifted their arm, pointing a wand at the teacher's table. A green light flew from the end, soaring down the length of the hall and hitting Professor McGonagall square in the chest. There was a blinding burst of light and she collapsed onto the table without making a sound.

While the rest of the school were too shocked to react, the Gryffindors moved as one. Rising to their feet with cries of anger, horror and disbelief, they pulled out their wands and prepared to avenge their Head of House, but the robed figure turned and fled the moment their spell hit its target and before the Gryffindors could reach the doors, they slammed closed.

'It was green, did you see?'

'The killing curse.'

'Is she dead?'

Remus caught snatches of conversation among the voices as the students tried to make sense of what had happened. The noise was deafening.

'Silence!' Dumbledore's voice rang through the Hall and the student body quietened down, looking to the Headmaster to help them understand what was happening.

Dumbledore strolled up to the podium in front of the teachers' table, looking far too calm for someone who had just witnessed the murder of his deputy, and waved his wand.

On the wall behind the teachers' table, words appeared in six-foot-high fiery letters.

_Welcome to Hogwarts first Murder Mystery Weekend_

It took a moment for the realisation to set in that the whole thing was staged and Professor McGonagall was fine, before the Hall erupted into laughter. Professor Dumbledore waited patiently for the noise to die down, and once everyone was quiet again he spoke in a mock-grave tone.

'It would seem there has been a horrible murder. Our very own Professor McGonagall has been brutally slain, and it is up to all of you to find the person responsible for this horrible crime and bring them to justice. You may work in groups of up to ten people. Search the crime scene for clues, scour the school, and question the witnesses who will be waiting in their classrooms for you to ask the _right_ questions.' He gestured towards the teachers, who all stood and filed out of the Hall.

Professor Dumbledore peered sternly at them all over the top of his half-moon spectacles and then smiled brightly. 'There are prizes for the teams that solve the case first, second and third. Have fun, everyone.'

'We are so going to win first prize,' James said, shooting to his feet. 'Come on!'

Remus, Sirius and Peter all shared a glance at James' eagerness to play the game, before following him up to the teachers' table. They weren't the only group heading in that direction, two groups from Slytherin and one each from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were also on the move, many of the students didn't seem interested in playing, and others were trying to organise teams. Halfway down the table, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas and Mary got to their feet.

'Hey, Evans! You want to team up with us?' James called out.

'Honestly, Potter. if you were the last person alive, I'd work alone.'

Sirius slapped James on the back. 'Better luck next time, mate. Hey Evans, bet you a galleon we beat you to the finish.'

Lily tossed her hair over her shoulder and grinned at him. 'You're on, Black. May the best girls win.'

'Why does she like you, and not me?'

'Because I'm charming and you're an ass,' Sirius said with a shrug.

Remus sighed. 'She found out Sirius helped me with my phobia. I think that made a difference.'

They'd reached the teacher's table and James leant over the 'corpse' of Professor McGonagall.

'This is weird,' he said. 'I feel like she's going to sit up and yell at me at any moment.'

Remus was close enough that he could smell the 'body' and it smelled like plastic. 'She'd have a job,' he said, leaning close to James to whisper so the other teams wouldn't hear him. 'That's not McGonagall.'

'How do you know?' James asked, also whispering.

'Look at the skin on her hand,' Remus said, pointing to the hand that had landed in the scrambled eggs. 'It's all smooth and shiny.'

James tugged him away from the 'corpse' so they could speak privately, and Sirius and Peter followed them.

'So if that's not McGonagall, either this is actually a kidnapping, not or murder, or they just switched her out because she didn't want to sit there pretending to be dead while students poked at her,' James said.

'It's probably the second one,' Peter said, 'but we should keep the first possibility in mind when we're asking questions.'

'Let's get out ahead of the pack, shall we,' Sirius said. 'They're all still examining the crime scene.'

'Good idea.' James led the way but stopped when they reached the Entrance Hall. 'Who should we talk to first?'

'She was sitting next to Dumbledore, but he's still in there, and I'm not sure he's even a "witness." Who was on her other side?' Sirius asked.

'Slughorn,' Peter said. 'I was looking at him because I wanted to ask him something about the Potions exam.'

'You've been spending too much time with Remus,' Sirius said.

'Look who's talking,' Peter said. 'I saw you reading that Charms book you bought him last month.'

'Honestly, you _all_ spend too much time with me. Would it be too much to ask to get a minute's peace once in a while?'

James sighed. 'We're losing our head start. Are we going to go talk to Slughorn?'

'Lead the way,' Sirius said.

They arrived outside the Potion's classroom less than five minutes later. They knocked, and entered when Slughorn called, 'come in.'

'Professor Slughorn, we'd like to talk to you about the murder of Professor McGonagall,' James said, putting on an officious voice. 'You were sitting beside her at the dining table, yes?'

Slughorn chuckled at James' acting but nodded. 'I was indeed, Mister Potter, and a terrible thing it was too. Quite terrible.'

'Did you notice anything about the perpetrator that might help us identify them?'

'No.'

'Did you see anything odd about the spell that they shot her with, or its effects on her body?'

'Now you mention it, the green was too pale for a killing curse. It should have been brighter.'

James exchanged a look with the others, before returning to his questioning. 'Do you know anyone who might wish to harm Professor McGonagall?'

'No, but I did see Professor Hawthorne speaking with her yesterday. It seemed like they didn't want to be overheard.'

'Thank you, Professor. You've been very helpful.'

'You're welcome. Good questions, boys. Very good. I think you might have this in the bag,' he said, winking at them.

They left the room quickly and once out in the corridor, James shuddered. 'Gods, that man is slimy.'

'I know, he gives me the creeps,' Sirius said.

'So, Professor Hawthorne, next?' Remus asked. 'Find out what he and McGonagall were discussing?'

They all agreed and as they approached the Defence classroom, Remus caught a faint whiff of a delicious scent in the air. It was familiar, but he couldn't recall where he'd smelt it before. And it was making his stomach growl. Although, that might just be because he hadn't had the chance to eat anything at breakfast.

James pushed the door open, and they stepped inside. The room was empty.

'Weird, he should be here,' Sirius said.

'Maybe he just went to use the toilet or something,' Peter suggested. 'Remus? Where are you going?'

Remus was following the scent in the air towards the back of the room. It was coming from the supply cupboard.

'You think he's hiding in the cupboard?' James asked, jogging over to him.

Remus pulled the cupboard door open and staggered backwards, covering his mouth with his hand.

'Oh wow. That's realistic,' James said. 'Looks like there's been another murder, guys.'

'Remus?' Sirius whispered, coming up beside him. 'What is it?'

'It's not pretend. That's really him,' Remus murmured.

'Shit.' Sirius jogged over to where James and Peter were staring at the mangled remains of their Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. His throat had been ripped out and his head was dangling at an unnatural angle, his limbs placed awkwardly where he'd been stuffed into the cupboard.

'Guys, I'm not sure this one is fake,' Sirius said. 'That blood looks too real.'

'Of course it's fake,' James said. 'Who would want to hurt Professor Hawthorne? He's awesome.'

'Damn, they beat us here.'

Remus looked towards the door at the sound of Lily's voice and hurried over to her.

'Don't look, it's horrible.'

'Trying to keep us from beating you, Lupin?' Marlene asked. 'You'll have to do better than that.'

She swept past him and joined the other boys at the supply cupboard. 'Oh Gods, gruesome.'

Remus groaned. Why couldn't any of them see it was real?

'What is it?' Dorcas asked, walking over. 'Oh! Oh, Gods. Guys, I think that's really Professor Hawthorne.'

'Why does everyone keep saying that?' James said. 'It's just a game, for Godric's sake.'

'No, my mum's a doctor,' Dorcas said. 'I know what I'm talking about, That's really him, and we need to get someone.'

Thank Merlin it seemed like they were actually listening now. James ran to get Slughorn and Sirius pulled Remus to the side of the room.

'Are you okay?'

Remus couldn't bring himself to meet Sirius' eyes. He was too ashamed. 'You were wrong,' he whispered, staring at the floor. 'I _am_ a monster, Sirius. I could smell his blood. And before I saw him… Before I knew what it was… I thought it smelled good.'


	41. Chapter 40

Sunday, 11th June 1972

The Aurors were called in, and the eight students present in the Defence classroom were interviewed individually in Dumbledore's office. It was a nerve-wracking experience for Remus. He knew his lycanthropy was on record with the DRCMC; if they looked him up, they would know what he was. The entire time he was waiting for his turn to be questioned, he was expecting to be accused of the murder. Why look anywhere else when a werewolf had been the one to 'find' the body?

And so, when he'd entered the Headmaster's office for his turn, it was with a feeling of certain doom. Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey had both insisted on being present for the interviews. The former, in lieu of parental presence. The latter, in a medical capacity; she felt the students had suffered a traumatic experience and may be in need of support. The moment the issue of his lycanthropy was raised, McGonagall had gone to bat for him.

'Mister Lupin is a model student,' she said. 'His behaviour, while not always perfect, is not violent or aggressive. He's an intelligent boy, and I've never even seen him lose his temper, never mind become violent. The virus in his body does not affect his mind unless the full moon is in the sky, and on those nights he is safely contained, _willingly_ I might add. I will not stand here and allow you to accuse him on the basis of his lycanthropy alone. What is your evidence?'

'He was the one that found the victim.' the head Auror said. 'Three of the other witnesses have stated he went directly to the cupboard when they entered the classroom. Can he explain that?'

'Why don't you ask him,' Professor McGonagall snapped. 'He's perfectly capable of understanding the question.'

'I could smell the blood,' Remus said. 'I didn't know what it was, but I knew it shouldn't be there.'

'You haven't smelled blood before?'

'Only my own. It didn't smell like that, though.'

'What did it smell like?'

Remus hesitated. He didn't want to answer that question. Not with Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey listening. He didn't want them to see him for the monster he was.

'Answer the question or I'll be forced to take you into custody.'

'It smelt nice,' Remus said, staring at the floor. 'Like food.'

'Well, of course it did,' Madam Pomfrey said. 'Your memories are all mixed up with the wolf's, but it didn't make you violent, did it?'

Remus shook his head.

'Exactly, that's because _your_ mind is in control, and when _you_ smell food you can control yourself.'

The Auror cleared his throat. 'So people smell like food to you? Is it really safe for you to be here?'

'How _dare_ you?' Professor McGonagall snapped, rounding on the man with the fury of a lioness protecting her cub. 'If you continue to be bigoted towards my student, I will floo the Ministry and have you replaced.'

'With all due respect ma'am, your student is a dark creature, and classed as dangerous by the Ministry.'

'My student is a _child_ under my protection and if you make one more prejudiced remark, I will remove you myself,' Professor McGonagall said, facing down the far taller and bulkier Auror as if he was a first-year caught out of bounds.

The Auror actually looked a little scared, and Remus had to work hard to suppress a smile at the sight.

Composing himself, the Auror turned back to Remus. 'Where were you between the time Professor Hawthorne was last seen alive, and when his body was found?'

Remus was beyond relieved that he had a solid alibi. 'In the Great Hall with everyone else. Then my friends and I left, we went to Professor Slughorn's classroom, and then to Defence. We were all together the entire time.'

The Auror let him leave after that, but he called Sirius, James and Peter back in, one at a time, to verify his story. When they were finally able to return to their dorm, they were all worn out and on edge, which went some way towards explaining what happened next.

'Why were they so interested in you?' James asked, looking at Remus through narrowed eyes the moment the dormitory door was closed.

'Because we all told them he found the body,' Sirius said. 'Well, I did, anyway.'

'I did too,' Peter said. 'Sorry, Remus.'

'It's alright. You had to tell them the truth.'

'And that's another thing, how did you know to look in the cupboard? You went straight to it. It was like you knew something was in there.'

Remus' stomach flipped over and he rubbed the back of his neck. 'I don't know. I was just playing the game, looking for clues.'

'You reacted like it was real straight away too. The rest of us thought it wasn't really him, but you seemed to know it was. _How_?'

Remus took a step back. 'What exactly are you accusing me of?'

James blinked at him. 'Nothing. I'm just asking. Should I be accusing you of something?'

'For fuck's sake, James. He was with us the whole time,' Sirius said. 'Will you stop acting like Remus is guilty of something?'

James glared at Sirius. 'I just want to know how he knew, that's all.'

'I don't know how I knew! It just _looked_ real,' Remus said, almost yelling now. 'Which I think is pretty understandable, seeing as it _was_ real!'

Peter was hovering by his bed, glancing back and forth between them and wringing his hands. 'Guys, don't fight. Please.'

'We're not fighting,' James said, calmly. 'I just want Remus to answer the question.'

'I've answered the question!'

'Sure it _looked_ real, but we were playing a murder mystery game. How did you _know_ it wasn't part of it?'

'I didn't _know_ ,' Remus said, running his hand through his hair. 'I just reacted. Instinct, I guess.'

'Instinct?'

'Yes.'

James gave him one last indecipherable look and then turned away. 'Alright.'

-o-o-o-o-

It had gone one in the morning before Sirius was sure James and Peter were both asleep, and he tiptoed over to Remus' bed as quietly as possible to make sure he wouldn't wake them.

He pulled back the curtain, expecting to have to wake him, but Remus was sitting up, hugging his knees, and he looked up when he felt the curtain move. His eyes were rimmed with red and his hair was a frizzy mess; he'd clearly been pulling at it. A lot.

'Do you want to talk about it?' Sirius whispered.

Remus didn't hesitate, as if he'd been waiting for Sirius to arrive and ask that exact question. 'Not here.'

Sirius stepped back so he could get up. 'Get your cloak.'

They didn't go far, slipping into the passage behind the tapestry of the goring of Elphick one corridor away from the common room, but they wanted to make sure they wouldn't be overheard.

As soon as they were hidden from sight, Sirius reached out and pulled Remus into his arms. 'You are _not_ a monster,' he said, his tone allowing no room for argument.

Remus struggled for a moment but then relaxed into Sirius' arms, hugging him back. 'Madam Pomfrey said it was because my memories are mixed up with the wolf's. But that doesn't make sense. I don't remember anything after moonrise until I wake up the next day.'

'There's an explanation,' Sirius said. 'We just have to find it.'

'How?'

Sirius pulled away and looked down at Remus. His face was pale; his eyes worried.

'I don't know, but you're _not_ a monster, and neither is Moony. He's just a lonely animal that instinctively attacks humans because they smell good, not because he wants to hurt them. He's not evil.'

Remus stared at him for a moment, frowning. 'How can you be so _sure_?'

'Because I _know_ monsters.' Sirius sighed and ran his hand through his hair. 'I'm related to monsters. And _you_ are nothing like them.'

'You mean your parents?'

'My whole damn family, pretty much.'

Remus sighed and turned away. 'It's not really the same thing.'

'No, it's not,' Sirius agreed. 'My family has everything they could ever want in life, money, power, respect. And despite that, they're awful people. You have so little, you've suffered more than anyone should ever have to, _and_ you know that's unlikely to ever stop. You have every reason to be bitter and twisted, but you're not. You're kind and thoughtful and amazing. So you have a disease that makes blood smell nice to you, who the fuck cares?'

'Most people do,' Remus said. 'When I told the Auror, he asked me if it was really safe for me to be in the school.'

'I'll kill him,' Sirius said. And he meant it too.

'There's no need. Professor McGonagall already killed him with words.'

'Of course she did. That's my Minnie,' Sirius said with a chuckle. 'I wish I could have seen that.'

'It _was_ pretty entertaining.'

They didn't stay long in the passage after that. They were both exhausted, physically and emotionally, and they knew sleep wouldn't come easily. For the first time in weeks, Sirius didn't think about what was waiting for him at home when he finally closed his eyes. Instead, he couldn't stop seeing Professor Hawthorne stuffed into the supply cupboard, imagining the last, horrifying moments of his life.

The next morning, Dumbledore announced at breakfast that classes would be cancelled for the day and they would be holding a memorial service for Professor Hawthorne beside the Great Lake at one o'clock for anyone who would like to say goodbye.

The Marauders attended, along with most of the school. That was no surprise; Professor Hawthorne had been well-liked by the students. What was surprising was the arrival of the merpeople. They surfaced as a group at the beginning of the service and paid their respects with music, playing a heartbreaking song on instruments Sirius had never seen before. Amaria was among them and she gave the Marauders a small wave when the song was finished, before flashing her tail as she dived back beneath the water with the rest of her people.

When the memorial was over, the Marauders lingered outside, wandering around the edge of the lake until they found a secluded and shady area in which to sit.

James' animosity from the day before seemed to have been forgotten. He was back to his usual friendly self, a little subdued, but that was understandable considering what had happened. Sirius knew he should be glad that James seemed to have moved on, but a little part of him deep-down wished he would keep digging. If James found out, it would all be out in the open, and he wouldn't have to keep secrets anymore. It was selfish of him, he knew, but he couldn't help it, he hated lying to his friends, even if it was for another friend.

'Talk about a sad end to the year,' James said, picking at the grass. 'This has really put a downer on everything.'

'I know, I can't stop thinking about it,' Peter said.

Sirius knew what he meant. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the professor's torn out throat. 'Who do you think did it?'

'It looked like some kind of animal,' James said.

'An animal could have killed him,' Remus said. 'But it wouldn't have put him in the cupboard like that.'

'Yeah,' James said. 'That was weird, right? What kind of monster would do something like that?'

'And where did they go?' Peter said with a shudder. 'They can't have been gone for long when we got there.'

'If we'd been a few minutes earlier, we might have caught them in the act,' Sirius said. 'Why did we have to muck around? If we'd been quicker, maybe we could have saved him.'

Remus shook his head. 'We'd have been killed too. Professor Hawthorne was an expert in Defence. If he couldn't fight them off, what chance did we have?'

James suddenly jumped to his feet, peering out across the lake. 'What's going on over there?'

Sirius turned to look. Professor Dumbledore was standing on the bank, with what looked to be a couple of Aurors. 'What do you mean?'

'Two others just went into the water,' James said.

'Are they looking for something?' Remus asked, climbing to his feet.

Peter grimaced. 'Or someone.'

They stayed where they were, watching, not daring to move closer in case they were spotted, and twenty minutes later the two Aurors emerged from the lake, with a third figure held between them.

'Is that…' James started.

'Emhio,' Remus said, finishing the question for him. 'They can't think it was her, surely?'

'No,' James gasped. 'Emhio wouldn't have hurt Professor Hawthorne. They were friends. Come on.'

He broke into a run towards the Aurors, and Sirius followed immediately.

They caught up with the group when they were almost at the gate. Remus and Peter had been left behind, and Sirius was gasping for breath, unable to speak. James was panting, but nowhere near as out of breath as Sirius.

'What are you doing?' James said, his tone demanding. 'You can't possibly think Emhio did it?'

Professor Dumbledore stopped and turned around, while the Auror continued to lead Emhio out of the gates. She was wearing some kind of bridle on her head and her hands were magically restrained behind her back with golden light.

'Mister Potter, please return to the castle. You too, Mister Black.'

'No,' James said in a firm voice. 'I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude. But Emhio wouldn't hurt a fly. They're making a mistake.'

Sirius couldn't believe James had the confidence to talk to Dumbledore like that.

Dumbledore smiled kindly at him. 'For what it's worth, I agree with you. But I'm afraid I can't override the Aurors decision, and they believe Emhio to be guilty.'

'You have to _do_ something!' James said. 'They'll execute her!'

'Not before a trial is held. And I assure you I will do everything possible to prove her innocence. But right now, I need you to return to the castle, so I can accompany Emhio to the ministry.'

'Right,' James said. 'Thank you, sir. We'll go right away.'

They returned the way they had come, finding first Remus and then Peter along the way, and recounting what had happened.

Classes remained cancelled for the rest of the week. The exams were over anyway, so it wasn't like they were missing much. The Marauders had put off packing for as long as they could, but on Friday morning they finally acknowledged that it had to be done, and as Sirius folded his last set of robes and placed them into the trunk, he tried to keep his hands from shaking. Tomorrow he would board the train that would take him back to the hell-hole he was forced to call home. And he didn't want to go.

There had never been anything he wanted to do less.

What he _needed_ was a distraction.

'James?' he said, turning away from his annoyingly fully-packed trunk. 'How about one last hurrah before the holidays?'

James' face broke out into a wicked grin. 'What did you have in mind?'

Sirius mirrored his expression with a grin of his own. 'Well, what do you think about…'

It hadn't taken much to put his plan into action; a quick trip to the library, a little persuasion directed at Remus who had been reluctant at first, an invisibility cloak and just a touch of magic.

And now they were all seated in their usual seats at the end of the long Gryffindor table furthest from the teachers, calmly waiting for the dessert to be served. If everything went to plan, it would be glorious. Sirius was a little nervous that it wouldn't work—their mischief was usually planned to the tiniest detail, and this had been very spur of the moment—but it wasn't a difficult task to pull off. The hardest part had been getting past the house-elves; not hard at all with the aid of James' cloak.

'It's time,' James murmured, looking across the table at him with a wicked smirk as the desserts appeared. 'Are you ready for this?'

Sirius winked at him. 'Always.'

'I still think this is mad,' Remus said at the same time.

'I'm just going to…' Peter said, grabbing two fairy cakes from the plate in front of him. He shrugged. 'Before it all, you know?'

As Peter pulled his arms back, every dish, plate and tray along the length of all five tables exploded simultaneously. All except one. As steamed pudding, cake, jelly and ice cream soared into the air and rained down over the students and teachers, Remus calmly sat forward and helped himself to a slice of the one dish that remained unharmed. A fat triple layer chocolate cake positioned directly in front of him.

'You missed that one on purpose, didn't you?' Sirius said, leaning close to Remus' ear to be heard over the chaos.

Remus shrugged. 'I couldn't ruin such a beautiful cake.'

Sirius laughed and glanced around the Hall. It was pandemonium. Students were squealing and shouting, many were trying to clean the food from their hair and clothes, others were picking up the ruined desserts from the table and floor and launching it at their friends and/or enemies. Most of the teachers were out of their seats, attempting to restore order, but Dumbledore was still seated in his throne. A great glob of vanilla ice cream had landed on his hat and slid down to the rim, slowly dripping onto the table below. As Sirius watched, Dumbledore caught a drip with the tip of his finger and popped it into his mouth. Then he caught Sirius' eye and winked.

'Black! Potter!'

Sirius looked away from Dumbledore at the sound of McGonagall's angry voice to see her striding towards them with a face angrier than he'd ever seen it.

He grinned at her. 'Yes, Minnie, my love?'

'Don't waste my time with the innocent act, I know you two are behind this. Probably Pettigrew and Lupin too.'

'Me?' Remus asked, pausing to look at her with a forkful of chocolate cake halfway to his mouth.

Professor McGonagall arched her eyebrow and crossed her arms. 'Yes, Mister Lupin. You have access to the kitchens, do you not?'

'Well, we're offended, aren't we Fab?'

'Too right we are, Gid. Not only does she not recognise our work after seven years, but she gives the credit to a bunch of first years!'

'Shocking is what it is.'

McGonagall turned around to glare at the red-heads who were standing behind her sporting wicked grins. 'You two did this?'

'Absolutely,' Gideon said.

'Thought we'd go out with a bang,' Fabian said. 'Literally.'

Professor McGonagall sighed heavily and rubbed a hand over her face. 'Detention, tonight, three hours, come to my office in twenty minutes,' she said before walking away to break up a food fight between a group of second-years.

'What did you do that for?' James asked as the twins sat down next to them. 'Not that we don't appreciate it.'

'Couldn't let our replacements spend the whole of September in detention, could we?' Fabian said.

Gideon nodded his agreement. 'You wouldn't have any time left to plan the Games.'

'But now you have to spend your last evening in detention,' Peter said.

Fabian shrugged. 'We spent most of our school years there, seems kind of fitting really.'

-o-o-o-o-

Remus peered out of the window as the train pulled into Kings Cross station and slowed to a stop. The platform was packed with parents waiting for their children and he scanned the crowd for his father—he refused to think of him as dad anymore. He didn't see him at first, but eventually spotted him standing near the back, with a scowl on his face. It was crystal clear that he'd rather be anywhere than where he was. A familiar rage burned in his chest as he looked at the man that had taken so much from him.

Sirius squeezed his hand in reassurance, and Remus turned away from the window to look at him. His face was pale, and he'd been almost silent for the last hour, gripping Remus' hand so tightly it was almost painful. They'd all been pretty quiet, to be fair. Losing Professor Hawthorne in such a brutal way the previous weekend had put a dampener on the spirits of the whole school, but Remus sensed there was something different about Sirius' silence.

'Is he there?' James asked, peering out of the window.

'Yeah, at the back,' Remus said.

'Come on, then. I want to introduce you to my parents before the sleepover.'

They all grabbed their trunks and other belongings and hauled them off the train onto the platform. Sirius carried Cosmo's cat carrier so Remus could manage his trunk and Rieka's cage.

'This way,' James said, leading them into the crowd of parents.

They followed him as he weaved his way through to the far-left of the platform, stopping in front of an elderly-looking couple. The man was the spitting image of James, right down to the messy hair and glasses.

'Hi Mum! Dad!' James managed to say before finding himself engulfed in his mum's arms as she rained kisses down on the top of his head. Remus glanced at Sirius; he was grinning at the spectacle as James attempted to fight her off.

'Alright! I get it! You missed me. Can you say hello to my friends now?'

'Oh, hello, Sirius, it's lovely to see you again, dear. And you must be Peter.' She released James to hold out her hand to Peter, and he shook it. 'It's wonderful to meet you, James has told us so much about you.' She turned her attention to Remus. 'And I'm guessing you're Remus? I know you don't like to be touched, dear, so I won't shake your hand.'

'Oh, Remus is over that. We helped him,' James said.

James' mum raised an eyebrow at that. 'Is that so? James didn't force you, did he? He can be a bit overbearing when he gets an idea in his head.'

'No, Ma'am,' Remus said, shaking his head. 'It was my idea, James has been nothing but kind.'

James stuck his tongue out at his mum. 'Honestly, you have no faith in me.'

James' mum cuffed him around the back of his head. 'Cheeky. But I'm glad to hear it, Remus dear. And please, call me Effie, none of this ma'am nonsense.'

Remus nodded. 'Okay.'

'And you can all call me Monty,' James' dad added with a wicked grin so much like James' it was uncanny. 'I'm looking forward to hearing all about your escapades this year.'

Mrs Potter—Effie, Remus corrected his own thoughts—checked her watch and her eyes widened. 'Well, it was lovely to meet you all. But we must be getting off. We'll see the three of you during the summer, though, yes?'

They all nodded and said goodbye to James. Remus made sure his father was watching when he gave James a hug. Peter then spotted his own mum and said a hurried goodbye, hugging Remus and Sirius quickly, before walking away, hauling his trunk behind him.

'You ready for this?' Sirius asked when they were alone.

'Is he watching?' Remus asked. Sirius glanced to the side where Remus' father was waiting for him and nodded.

'Perfect.'

Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius and buried his face in his neck. He breathed in deeply, trying to memorise his scent, hugging him for several seconds before letting go.

'He doesn't look worried,' Sirius said after peeking at his father again. 'Just impatient.'

With a twinge of guilt, Remus remembered the very expensive and now completely useless present his friends had bought him so many months ago. 'Mum must have told him about the gloves and hood, he must think I'm wearing them,' Remus said.

'So I need to touch a part of you he knows isn't covered up?'

Remus frowned. 'Like what?'

Sirius paused for a second, looking him up and down, and then shrugged. 'Only one place I can think of.'

And before Remus could ask what he was talking about, Sirius snaked his hand around the back of Remus' neck, bent his head down, and pressed their lips together in a kiss.

Remus' mind short-circuited. What the hell? They hadn't planned this. He felt uncomfortably hot, and the familiar tingles he still felt every time Sirius touched him were intensifying. And then Sirius pulled away and winked at him.

'Now there's no room for confusion,' he said. 'See you in August, Nerd Boy.'

Remus stood there, on the platform, confused as hell, as he watched him turn away. Sirius went completely still for the smallest of moments, before straightening his spine and striding over to a scowling woman who looked beyond furious. As soon as he was close enough, she grabbed his arm and apparated them away.

Shit. He hoped Sirius would be okay.

He was distracted from his concern by a pain in his arm, and he looked up to see his father glaring at him and gripping his bicep hard.

'What the hell was that?' he growled.

Remus wouldn't be cowed, though. He met his father's eyes with an equally angry glare of his own. 'I know the _truth_. You lied to me.'

All the colour drained from his father's face. 'I don't know what you're talking about, but we'll discuss this at home. Get your trunk, now.'

Remus rolled his eyes at his father and gripped the end of his trunk in one hand and the two pet cages with the other as he was pulled into the suffocating tunnel of apparition.

They materialised in the garden and Remus immediately ripped his arm away from his father and made for the house. A distant rumble told him his mum was almost home, and he wanted to put as much distance as possible between his father and himself until she was present.

'Get back here now!'

'No!' Remus said, continuing to walk towards the kitchen door. The rumble was louder now. He looked up and saw her car pulling into the driveway.

'Don't you speak to me like that, you rabid little animal.' His father grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. Remus glared at him again, refusing to show any fear although his heart was racing. The car door slammed.

'Lyall? What's going on?' Remus' mum called, hurrying towards them across the grass.

'Yeah, _Lyall_ ,' Remus said. 'Why don't you tell her what's going on?'

'Remus! Show your dad some respect,' his mum said, sounding shocked at his behaviour.

'No.' Remus crossed his arms. 'He doesn't deserve it.'

'Go inside. I don't know what's got into you, Remus, This wasn't the homecoming I was expecting.'

'Not until _he_ tells you what's going on,' Remus said, refusing to budge.

His mum frowned at him, but then turned to his father. 'Lyall? What's he talking about?'

'He was hugging people at the station,' his dad blurted. 'Then he kissed one, the heir to the Black family of all people. We're going to have to run. He's surely infected them. The Black's won't take this lightly.'

Remus snorted at his attempt to continue the lie. But his mum looked at him with a shocked expression.

'Is that true, Remus? Why would you do that?'

'Yes, it's true,' he said. His mum's face morphed from shocked to terrified and he hurried to explain. 'I've been hugging them for _weeks,_ mum. There's been a full moon since I started, and no one has been infected. All the books say the same thing, werewolves can only turn people by biting them on a full moon. My touch isn't infectious. Dad _lied_ to us.'

His mum gaped at him for a moment before turning back to his father. 'Lyall?'

His dad just stared at the ground, saying nothing.

'Lyall!' she snapped. 'Is this true?'

His father spoke so quietly Remus almost didn't hear him. 'Yes.'

There were several seconds of complete silence while various expressions flickered across his mum's face; shock, confusion, joy for one brief moment and finally it settled into fury. 'Get out,' she said, her voice cold.

His dad's head shot up. 'What?'

'I said, GET OUT!' She screamed the words at him. 'Pack your bags and get the _FUCK_ out of my house, Lyall Lupin, or so help me I will end you!'

His father took a step back from the furious woman in front of him, and Remus didn't blame him, he'd never seen his mum so angry.

'I don't have anywhere to go.'

'Do you think I _care_?' she spat. 'You kept me from my son for SEVEN YEARS!'

'I… I did it for you. To help you stop caring about it after what happened. That's not your son anymore, Hope. It hasn't been your son since the night he was bitten. Can't you see? It's just an animal, a monster.'

Remus felt his insides squirm sickeningly. That was the reason his father had lied? To make his mum stop loving him? He truly believed Remus was a monster; no longer human. No longer his son.

Remus' mum didn't respond for several seconds, but finally, she opened her mouth and said in a quiet voice, 'You disgust me.'

' _I_ disgust you? But you still love that _thing_ that took Remus away?'

'This _is_ Remus, Lyall. He's just sick,' she said, shaking her head sadly. 'I'm sorry that you've never been able to see that. I tolerated you distancing yourself because I thought, _hoped_ , that you'd get over it. But this? I can't forgive this. You're not welcome in our home anymore. You need to leave.'

'And how do you expect to contain it without me?' he sneered.

'I'm his _mother_. I'll find a way.' She shrugged like the problem was nothing. 'It's what we do.'

Lyall shot one last venomous glare at Remus before stomping into the house. They both watched him until he disappeared inside, and then Remus' mum turned to him with tears in her eyes.

'Sweetheart,' she said. 'I am _so_ sorry.'

Remus frowned. 'For what?'

'Believing him. I should have checked, made sure it was true. You must be so angry with me.'

'No, mum. I'm mad at _him_ , not you. Never you.' He swallowed and scuffed his feet on the ground. 'Can I… Can I have a hug?'

His mum hesitated. 'You're _sure_ it's safe?'

Remus nodded. 'Positive. I wouldn't put you at risk if I wasn't.'

'Come here then,' his mum said, opening her arms to him.

Remus blinked back the tears forming in his eyes and stepped into her embrace. Thanks to Sirius, he felt no fear as she wrapped him up in her arms, nothing but warmth and love, comfort and belonging.

She buried her face in his hair and made a noise that sounded like a sob.

Remus pulled away to look at her. 'Don't cry.'

'I'm just so happy,' she said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

'Me too.'

A loud crack sounded making them both jump; his dad had disapparated, angrily judging by how much noise he'd made.

'Let's go inside,' his mum said. 'I think we could both use a cup of tea.'

Together, they hauled his trunk and pet carriers into the house and he let Cosmo and Rieka out, before following his mum into the kitchen. Leaning back against the counter, Remus pulled out his wand, fiddling with it while his mum boiled the kettle.

'Dad has a point. How _will_ you keep me secure on the full moon?'

'You let me worry about that,' she said. 'I'll figure something out. I'll need to borrow Rieka, though.'

'Sure. Who are you going to write to?'

'Dumbledore.'

Remus nodded. That made sense; Dumbledore was already sympathetic. Maybe he'd let him use the Shrieking Shack during the holidays, too.

His mum placed a steaming cup of tea on the counter next to him and sipped her own.

'Remus, did you really kiss a boy at the station?' she asked, watching him for a reaction to the question.

Remus dropped his wand and felt his face heat up. 'Well, it was more him kissing me, but er… yes?' He bent down and picked up his wand to hide his burning cheeks.

'Are you gay?'

Remus stood back up too fast and felt a little light-headed for a second. 'I don't think so.'

She let out a relieved breath. 'Good. You know it's wrong, right?'

Remus frowned. He'd seen many same-sex couples at Hogwarts among the upper years. It didn't seem to be a problem in wizarding society.

'I don't think I agree with you.' he said carefully, not wanting to start an argument. 'But it doesn't matter, anyway. Sirius only kissed me to scare dad.'

'Scare him?'

Remus nodded. 'We wanted to show him I knew he'd lied. We hugged first, but he didn't look worried, and we figured he thought I was wearing the gloves and hood. Then Sirius kissed me. I didn't even know he was going to do it.'

'But you didn't _like_ it, did you?' his mum asked, frowning at him.

It was all too clear what answer she wanted from him, and Remus was confused. She could still love him with lycanthropy, but not if he liked boys? He needed to know.

'What if I did?'

'It's disgusting, Remus. Boys aren't supposed to be with other boys _like that_. It's revolting… unnatural.'

Right. But turning into a wolf once a month was totally natural. He couldn't lose another parent, though. He didn't know if he'd liked it or not. It had all happened so fast and he was too stunned to notice, but even if he had, he had to hide it. He clearly couldn't risk being gay.

'No, I didn't like it.'

His mum nodded, satisfied with his answer. 'So this boy knows you're a werewolf?'

'Yeah, he worked it out. He doesn't care, though, and he's been helping me hide it from everyone else.'

'That's kind of him,' she said. 'But if he's gay, you need to watch yourself around him. Don't let him get too close.'

Remus wasn't sure they could really get much closer, all things considered. Sitting in Sirius' lap and burying his face in his neck didn't exactly leave much room between them. His mum would be horrified if she knew the things they'd been doing the last few weeks.

'I don't think Sirius is gay, mum. Like I said, he just kissed me to scare dad. He's kind of impulsive sometimes, that's all.'

-o-o-o-o-

'Mum must have told him about the gloves and hood, he must think I'm wearing them,' Remus said.

Damn, that made things a little more difficult. But not impossible; Sirius liked a challenge. 'So I need to touch a part of you he knows isn't covered?'

'Like what?'

Sirius looked Remus over. He was wearing those weird blue muggle trousers and a shirt with long sleeves. The only skin he was showing was his hands and face. An insane idea occurred to him, and without pausing to think it through, he grabbed it with both hands.

Shrugging, he said, 'Only one place I can think of.'

He didn't wait for Remus to respond, just curled his hand around the back of Remus' neck, leant down and kissed him, right on the mouth.

Remus' lips were soft and the same tingles he felt whenever he touched him shot through his body more intensely than ever before. It was as exciting as riding a broomstick at top speed through heavy rain, as terrifying as being shut outside during a thunderstorm, and as natural as breathing, all at the same time. The kiss only lasted a second or two before he pulled away. It had only meant to be a way to unsettle Remus' father. He hadn't expected to like it, but he did. And he wanted to do it again.

In an effort to hide his reaction, he winked at Remus. 'Now there's no room for confusion,' he said, despite feeling more confused than he ever had in his life before. 'See you in August, Nerd Boy.'

Grabbing his trunk, he turned around and was immediately doused with icy terror as he saw his mother stood on the platform glaring right at him. She'd seen the whole thing. Fuck. What was she even doing there? He'd expected her to send Kreacher to collect him. Never in a million years had he thought she'd come herself.

He wouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing his fear, though. Straightening his spine, he stuck his nose in the air, letting his mask fall into place, and walked over to her. She grabbed his arm and without giving him even a second to prepare, apparated them to Grimmauld Place.

They materialised in the drawing-room, and Sirius had barely acknowledged where he was before he was hit with a stinging slap around the face.

'What the hell do you think you're doing cavorting with filthy half-bloods in public?'

Sirius looked up at his mother with defiance. 'Fuck you.'

After staring at him for a few seconds, she curled her lip and grabbed him by the wrist, dragging him through the house as he stumbled along next to her, trying to get his feet beneath him. He managed it just as they reached the top of the stairs to the cellar, thank Merlin, or he was certain she would have dragged him down them headfirst. When they reached the bottom, she tossed him onto the floor and Sirius fell hard against the wall, banging his head and making it throb in time with his racing heartbeat.

'Don't expect to get out of here before September. I told you what would happen if you continued to associate with that filth. Not only did you defy me, but you _kissed_ one of them _in public_. People _saw_ you.'

The pain in Sirius' head was making his anger flare brighter. 'So?'

'So? You are the _heir_!' she screeched. 'You have a responsibility to this family! How do you expect us to find you a respectable wife if you go around sullying yourself with mudbloods and filth? And flaunting your… preferences.'

Perhaps it was the head injury, but she wasn't making any sense at all. 'My preferences?'

'I don't care if you're gay. Once you're married, you can do what you like, but for Salazar's sake keep it discreet, or no decent woman will want you.'

Sirius couldn't help it, he laughed in her face. 'I'm not gay!'

'That was quite clearly a boy you were kissing. I'm not stupid, Sirius.'

'We just did that to piss his dad off. I'm not _gay_.'

'Regardless, it doesn't matter if you are or not. You can screw all the pureblood boys you like for all I care. Just stay away from the filth.'

'Mother! I'm twelve, for Godric's sake. I'm not _screwing_ anyone.'

'Your uncle Cygnus was already married at your age.'

Sirius' stomach rolled at that information. 'Gods, this family is disgusting.'

Walburga back-handed him across the face again. The blow radiated even more pain through his already throbbing head and made his ears ring. As he raised his eyes to glare back at her defiantly, he licked his lips and tasted blood.

'Don't get comfortable. Kreacher will be down soon to see to your punishment.'

Sirius watched his mother close the door before wiping the blood from his split lip. That hadn't gone well at all. Kissing Remus at the station had only added fuel to the fire, but he couldn't bring himself to regret it. It had been weird, but not bad. Did that mean he _was_ gay? He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the animated sketch of his friends, staring at the image of Remus.

Did he like him, _like that_? Every time he touched him, he tingled all over, and he wanted to kiss him again; he knew that much. When he thought about kissing Remus, his body felt warm and his stomach flipped over. Had Remus liked it, though? He didn't look disgusted after, just surprised. And that was fair; Sirius really hadn't given him any warning.

Maybe he could talk to him about it at James' house. He tucked the picture back into his pocket, not wanting Kreacher to catch him with it—his mother's favourite house-elf had a spiteful streak that rivalled hers, it was why she liked him so much—and leant back against the cold stone, closing his eyes. This summer was going to be even worse than he'd anticipated if she was handing his torture over to Kreacher to handle, but unlike all the previous times they had punished him in this room, he now had happy memories to cling to and a new hope to get him through it.

He whispered the word, wanting to hear it out loud one more time before his last moment of peace came to an end. 'Remus.'


	42. Chapter 41

_Tuesday 20th June_

_Sirius,_

_I hope you're okay. Your mother didn't look very happy when she apparated you home. Maybe if you show her this letter it will help, I'm sure you've already told her you only did it to annoy my father, and I hope this helps to prove you're not lying._

_It worked though, so thank you._

_He was furious, and in his rage my mum finally understood the truth. She sees him now for the coward he is and, you won't believe this—I can hardly believe it myself—she kicked him out! Right there and then. I'm not sure how I feel about it, to be honest. I'm glad he's gone, he never spoke to me much anyway, and I always felt awkward when he was around, so it's nice to not have that anymore. But I heard my mum crying last night after I went to bed, so I feel guilty too. She still loves him, I guess, and it's my fault he's gone._

_I'm a little worried about next week, I'm not sure how we'll manage without my father, but mum says she'll deal with it, so I'm just trying not to think about it for now._

_Write back soon,_

_Remus._

-o-o-o-o-

_Tuesday 20th June_

_James,_

_Our plan worked perfectly. Mum was thrilled to be able to hug me after so long, and it seems she can't stop. She keeps grabbing me and hugging me constantly, it's already getting annoying._

_I'm missing you guys already. It's very quiet here, and I've always liked that about my home. But I find myself missing the noise and chaos of you, Peter and Sirius. I must have been driven mad, that's the only explanation._

_It was nice to meet your parents; they seem like really lovely people, and I can't wait to get to know them better at the sleepover. Let me know when it's going to be._

_Write back soon,_

_Remus._

-o-o-o-o-

_Tuesday 20th June_

_Peter,_

_Our plan worked perfectly. Mum was thrilled to be able to hug me after so long, and it seems she can't stop. She keeps grabbing me and hugging me constantly, it's already getting annoying._

_I'm missing you guys already. It's very quiet here, and I've always liked that about my home. But I find myself missing the noise and chaos of you, James and Sirius. I must have been driven mad, that's the only explanation._

_Can't wait for the sleepover._

_write back soon,_

_Remus._

Remus put down his pen and checked the letters over for mistakes before rolling them up to send when Rieka returned from Hogwarts—or wherever Dumbledore spent the summer. He was pretty sure Sirius would understand what he was saying in the last paragraph without it being obvious to anyone else who might read it. It was hard having to write in code; what they needed was a way to communicate without the risk of other people seeing it. He quickly jotted that down on his list titled _Things to Research_ , underneath 'star related nicknames' and 'ideas for a legacy' before heading downstairs for breakfast.

A couple of hours later, Remus was out in the garden reading under the shade of his favourite tree, when two, familiar-looking, red-headed wizards apparated onto his doorstep with a quiet pop and reached out to ring the bell.

'Gideon? Fabian?' Remus yelled. 'What on earth are you doing here?'

They jumped and turned to face him, both breaking out in identical grins when they saw who it was.

'No way,' Gideon yelled. 'It's not you is it?'

'That would explain his core strength,' Fabian said, as they walked over to him.

Gideon nodded and frowned a little. 'Only if it's been years, though.'

'What are you on about?' Remus asked. 'Is what me?'

'The werewolf we're here to build a… home for,' Gideon said.

Remus went cold. 'Dumbledore sent you?'

They both nodded.

'He thought we'd enjoy the project. Don't worry, though, he's going to check it when we're done,' Gideon said.

Fabian eyed him carefully and must have seen something in his expression because he put his hand on Remus' shoulder and said, 'Hey, don't worry, we've got nothing against werewolves. Especially you, you're a mischief-maker, just like us.'

'Do your friends know?' Gideon asked.

'Only Sirius.'

Gideon nodded. 'Alright, well, we're not going to tell anyone. So you don't need to worry, okay? You know we can keep a secret.'

'I guess I better take you inside so you can talk to my mum,' Remus said, hauling himself to his feet and avoiding their eyes. He hated that Dumbledore had told them, taking his choice away from him.

'Lead the way,' Fabian said.

Remus took the twins into the kitchen through the back door, finding his mum at the sink, washing up the breakfast dishes.

'Mum,' he said to get her attention. 'This is Gideon and Fabian Prewett, Dumbledore sent them to build me a cage.'

Fabian wrinkled his nose. 'We prefer the term "Full Moon Getaway." Calling it a "cage" makes it sound like you're an animal, Remus.'

'I think "Lunar Lodge" has a pleasing ring to it,' Gideon said.

'Ooh, alliteration, nice.' Fabian gave his brother a high five.

Remus' mum smiled. 'It's lovely to meet you, can I offer you both a cup of tea?'

That was her way of saying, "I like you, you can stay." Remus rolled his eyes; she was so easy to win around.

'That would be wonderful, thank you, Mrs Lupin,' Fabian said. 'We need to discuss exactly what you need before we get started.'

'Please, call me Hope,' she said, turning back to the sink to fill the kettle. 'Remus, why don't you show them through to the sitting room. I'll bring the tea in when it's ready.'

Great, he would have to be alone with them for several minutes while she fussed around making sure the tea was perfect. That was the very thing he was trying to avoid. He was sure they'd want to know all the gory details.

'It's this way,' he said, gesturing for the twins to follow him through to the sitting room.

'Oh cool,' Gideon said as they entered the room. 'Is that a television? Can we see it working?'

Fabian rolled his eyes. 'We're not here to drool over muggle technology, Gid.'

'Right, right. But it's a television!'

'Have you never seen one before?' Remus asked.

'We've seen pictures of them in Muggle Studies, but we've never seen a real one,' Fabian said. 'But we'll be here for a few days, at least. I'm sure we'll see it working at some point.'

'You can be such a sensible bore sometimes, Fab.'

Fabian glared at his brother. 'You take that back.'

But Gideon just stuck his tongue out at him before turning to Remus. 'We have some questions for you, is that alright?'

Remus braced himself and nodded, preparing for the intrusive inquisition he was expecting.

'So we're thinking natural materials, right? The wolf should feel more comfortable surrounded by wood than say, brick or cement, would you agree?'

'Er, yeah, I guess,' Remus said. That wasn't the sort of question he'd been expecting. 'But it won't be very strong.'

'And you call yourself a Marauder,' Fabian said with a snort. 'That's what magic is for.'

'And we were also thinking of leaving the floor as dirt. We can alter the spell we used to protect the audience during the arena test to prevent the wolf from digging his way out, but it would make him feel less confined.'

This was getting weird. They seemed more interested in making the wolf comfortable than actually preventing it from escaping.

'It doesn't sound very secure.'

'Oh it will be, don't worry,' Fabian said. 'But we want to make sure it's comfortable too. We did some research, and we know werewolves hurt themselves when they lock themselves up.'

'Which didn't seem very fair to us,' Gideon said. 'You lock yourselves away to keep from hurting anyone and hurt yourselves instead.'

Fabian nodded. 'We thought if the wolf was more comfortable and had things to do, maybe it wouldn't get so angry.'

'How much space do we have to work with?' Gideon asked just as Remus' mum entered with a tray of mismatched mugs filled with steaming hot tea, a small jug of milk and a bowl of sugar.

'You can use the whole garden if you like,' she said, placing the tray down on the coffee table and taking a seat. 'If more space will help Remus, use it all.'

Fabian grinned. 'Excellent, what about some of the woodland too? We can cast muggle repelling charms to keep anyone away.'

'Oh, but he's usually quite injured the next day, I need to be able to get in.'

'That's not a problem, we can make you an exception,' Fabian said.

'This is mad. I just need a small room or something, not some massive compound.'

'Remus, Remus, Remus,' Gideon said, putting his arm around his shoulders. 'Will you please stop trying to spoil our fun? This is the most interesting project we've had for years. Small room indeed,' he finished with a derisive snort.

'But, I'm only here for the holidays. What's the point?'

'Yes, three full moons. I imagine the wolf can do a lot of damage in that amount of time,' Gideon said. 'But if we do our job right, we can make those nights easier on you. Consider it a thank you for being a decent human and doing everything you can to not infect other people, even though it hurts you.'

The lump in Remus' throat prevented him from saying much to that. All he could get out was a quiet, 'Alright. Thanks.'

-o-o-o-o-

_Wednesday 21st June_

_Remus,_

_I'm so glad the plan worked. I think you should try and enjoy all the cuddles. Your mum has many years to make up for, so I doubt it's going to stop anytime soon._

_I miss you all too. The house is so quiet compared with our dorm, but I'm doing my best to make up for it. I could use some help in that department…_

_On a completely unrelated subject, Mum's agreed to you guys staying here for three nights, it's going to be the best sleepover there's ever been! I have so many plans already. I need to confirm dates with you and Peter first, and then Mum will send the official unrefusable invitation to Sirius' parents. I think we should do it straight after Peter's birthday so we can all celebrate Peter Day together, it's tradition, you know? So how does the 22nd - 25th August sound to you?_

_Also, have you heard from Sirius at all? I know it's only been four days, but I thought he would have written by now._

_Yours in anticipation,_

_James._

-o-o-o-o-

_Thursday 22nd June_

_Remus,_

_It's great to hear from you. I know what it's like to have a mum who won't stop hugging, mine has barely let me out of her sight since I got home. I'm sorry that you have to suffer with me._

_I wish my home was quiet. I'm pretty sure I told you guys I live in the middle of a big town? There's noise constantly, cars on the road, people talking and laughing too loudly on the street, dogs barking, you get the picture. It's so different to Hogwarts. It took me a while to get used to how quiet the night is at school, but I'm really missing it now. Every little sound wakes me up and I'm exhausted._

_I can't wait to see you all at the sleepover, I bet James' house is quiet at night…_

_One very tired and bored Peter._

-o-o-o-o-

_Thursday 22nd June_

_James,_

_My complaints about my mum's cuddles may have been exaggerated. I'm enjoying them really. She's definitely making up for lost time._

_I have a few ideas about how we can, ahem, liven up your house a little, but I will endeavour to broaden my fledgling plans to include more noise and mayhem, just for you._

_Three nights and two full days? Are your parents fully aware of what they're letting themselves in for? I'm willing to bet a month of doing your homework that they end up sending us home early. I agree with having the sleepover in the vicinity of Pete's birthday for the sake of celebrating Peter Day at the proper time, but can it be before rather than after? I have to be home for an uncle's birthday celebration on the 24th. Sorry for being awkward._

_I haven't heard from Sirius, although I wrote to him on the 20th. It worries me that you haven't heard from him either. The woman who picked him up from the station looked quite angry. Perhaps he's been banned from writing?_

_Yours in Marauderly concern,_

_Remus._

-o-o-o-o-

Friday 23rd June

Sirius was lounging on one of the beds in the tent, with Remus cuddled into his side. They were reading a book together, and he could hear James and Peter talking quietly as they worked on the potion on the other side of the canvass. His feet were uncomfortably hot, but he tried to ignore the stinging sensation, concentrating instead on the feel of Remus' tingly warmth pressed into his side.

'Sirius!'

He raised his head from the book and glanced around the tent. The shout had sounded like his mother's screeching voice, but that was impossible; he must have imagined it. Remus hadn't noticed anything, so he shook his head and returned his attention to the story. But his feet felt even hotter now, the stinging had progressed to an intense burning, and it was impossible to ignore. His wrists hurt too, and when he looked down at the hand holding the book, there was blood dripping down his arm. What the fuck?

'Sirius! Open your eyes!'

That was definitely his mother's voice. Sirius stood up and walked over to the entrance of the tent, looking out into the cave. James and Peter continued working on the potion, taking no notice of him at all. He turned back around, wondering why Remus hadn't questioned his actions, and startled when he saw himself still lying on the bed with Remus cuddled up to him. His feet felt like they were on fire now, but then the pain suddenly stopped, like a tap being turned off.

'Sirius!'

Sharp pain burst across his face as if he'd been slapped. But not this cheek, he realised. This wasn't real. Or it was once, but not now. This was a memory; he was inside his head. Hiding, while his physical body took a battering. He remembered now.

Sirius had no idea how long he'd been there when he forced his swollen eyes open. Returning to reality from the confines of his mindscape was brutal, but he was relieved that the burning had stopped, although he was still chained to the wall.

'Mother?' he croaked through his cracked lips. His tongue felt like sandpaper.

'Get cleaned up, you're required to attend an important family dinner this evening.' She waved her wand to vanish the chains holding him to the wall before turning and leaving through the door. Not even pausing long enough to watch him fall to the floor.

Sirius lay in a heap on the cold stone for several minutes, relishing the feeling of the blood returning to his arms, before hauling himself to his feet. His stomach growled at the thought of food, and he didn't even care that he'd have to suffer the company of his extended family if it meant he could eat something more than dry bread and drink something other than the occasional cup of water.

Keeping a tight grip on the banister, he climbed the cellar stairs on shaky legs and shuffled his way through the kitchen. Most of the house-elves avoided looking at him, but Kreacher sneered at him and muttered about disgraces to the name of Black and other bollocks Sirius didn't care enough to listen to.

When he finally reached his bedroom, he slammed the door closed behind him and collapsed onto his dusty bed with relief, wishing he had time for a nap but knowing his mother would have made sure he didn't. The bed made a strange rustling sound as he landed on it. That was odd.

With a groan, he rolled off the bed and pulled back the covers. His mouth stretched into an involuntary smile, cracking his dry lips even more, but he didn't care. Hidden beneath the quilt was a small pile of letters, and the uppermost scroll bore the unmistakable handwriting of Remus. Regulus, the beautiful little bastard, had intercepted his mail and left it for him to find.

He read through the letters quickly, delighted to hear from Remus that their plan had worked, but concerned about how he would manage the full moons with his father gone. There was no mention of how he'd felt about the kiss, but maybe he just wanted to talk about it in person. James letters were cheerful and excited, and Peter's full of complaints of boredom.

Thinking fast, knowing he didn't have much time, he scrawled three quick notes, addressing one to each of his friends and rolling them up ready to post. He then wrote a fourth note to his brilliant baby brother.

_Reggie,_

_You're the best brother a guy could ask for. Thank you so much. I hate to ask you to take more risks for me, but I have no other options. Could you find a way to mail these letters for me? I've asked them not to write again, so you won't have to watch for owls anymore._

_Yours in never-ending gratitude,_

_Siri._

Sirius hid the notes under the covers, assuming that Reg would check to see if he'd found his mail at some point, before rummaging in his trunk for his birthday gift from Remus. The little lockbox was the perfect hiding place for his friends' letters.

Once he was finished making the bed look untouched, Sirius made his way into his bathroom to do as he'd been ordered. He splashed water on his face before cupping his hands under the running tap and drinking greedily; enjoying the way the cold liquid trickled down his parched throat.

With his thirst quenched, he eyed his reflection in the mirror above the sink with a frown. His face held a striking resemblance to Remus' on his first day at Hogwarts. Pale skin, with deep shadows beneath his eyes, gave his appearance a sinister edge, but his cracked lips and the dark bruise across his cheek screamed that he was weak, easy prey.

But that was a lie.

Straightening his spine, Sirius sneered at his reflection. There was nothing weak about standing by your friends in the face of punishment and pain. Weak would have been giving in to his mother's demands out of fear.

The sight of his stringy, greasy, lank hair pained him, though. He looked like Snivellus, he thought with a shudder.

When he returned to his room after showering with his hair freshly washed, he was unsurprised to find an array of healing potions waiting for him on his desk. Ignoring the bottles, he walked over to his wardrobe and pulled out a set of formal dress robes in dark green, embroidered with silver thread. He refused to help his mother hide what she did to him; he would wear the wounds of his loyalty with pride.

And he would wear something else with pride too, because the colours of these robes just wouldn't do, he thought, picking up his wand.

Exactly one hour after his mother had released him from the cellar, Sirius entered the dining room with his back straight, his nose in the air, and his trademark grin firmly in place. There would be no mask hiding his emotions during this meal; Walburga could go fuck herself.

'Evening all,' he said, glancing around the table. His eyes paused briefly on Andy and she gave him the tiniest nod of support, making his grin grow impossibly bigger. 'Mother, you look positively delightful, that colour really brings out the spitefulness in your eyes.'

He took his seat to the right of his father, who sat at the head of the table, and opposite his mother. She glared at him, but made no verbal response. Regulus was seated on her right, and he shook his head at Sirius in despair. Sirius winked at him.

He propped his elbows on the table in direct defiance of his ingrained table manners and leant forward. 'It's so wonderful to see you, little brother. Are you well?'

'I am, thank you,' Regulus said, trying hard to suppress a smile. 'Did you have a good year at school?'

'I had a brilliant year, Hogwarts is amazing. I can't wait to show you around in September and introduce you to my friends. Perhaps you'll even get sorted into Gryffindor with me.'

'Let's hope not. I think one disgrace in the family is quite enough,' a gravelly voice commented from down the table. 'And what on earth are you wearing, boy? Walburga, I'm surprised at you, allowing the boy to dress in those colours.'

'I assure you, I did not buy those robes,' Walburga said. 'He must have brought them home from school with him.'

'Grandmother,' Sirius said. 'What a joy it is to gaze upon your wrinkled visage. I thought for sure you would have succumbed to the ravages of age by now. Do you not like my robes? I would have expected a vampire such as yourself to appreciate the colour red, or do you only suck the life out of people, instead of their blood?'

In amongst the cries of outrage around the table at his words, Sirius picked out the sound of a quiet chuckle and met the eyes of his uncle Alphard, who was valiantly attempting to hide his mirth at Sirius' antics. The sight bolstered Sirius' courage, but before he could choose his next target—it was a toss up between Bellatrix and Narcissa—they were interrupted by the house-elves entering to serve the first course.

'Tomato-basil bruschetta, my lady,' Kreacher croaked as the shroud of elves approached the table, each serving two diners with a tiny plate bearing a bite-size crostini topped with some kind of tomato mixture. They smelled strongly of garlic and balsamic vinegar, making Sirius' mouth water.

The fragrant morsel of food was soon followed by a chilled cucumber soup which did nothing more than take the edge off of Sirius' ravenous hunger, and he cursed the tiny portions of each course. What he wouldn't give for a heaping plate of meat and potatoes.

The entrée course was no better, candied carrots with honey, cumin, and paprika. The three delicately stacked baby vegetables barely hit the sides on their way down, and Sirius was getting increasingly annoyed. A feeling that only worsened when the next course was served, a miniscule garden salad.

Conversation around the table had turned to politics by that point, and Sirius tried hard not to lose his temper over the talk of mudblood and muggle inferiority. He desperately wanted to stay calm and cheerful, to show his mother how very far from breaking his spirit she really was.

'… the Dark Lord will put them all back in their proper place,' Bellatrix was saying. 'But he needs support in the form of donations. Father has agreed to make a substantial contribution to the cause, but I was hoping as head of the family you would be willing to help?'

Sirius' father looked interested. 'I will certainly look into it. If his policies are sound, the Black vaults could withstand a little plundering.'

'Oh, thank you, Uncle Orion, I knew we could count on you,' Bellatrix said, smiling in a way that made Sirius stomach squirm. Sickening.

'Personally, I think muggles are amazing,' Sirius said. 'They've invented so many things to manage without magic, you know? So clever. Surely you agree, Grandfather? Wasn't your sister a squib?'

Much to Sirius' delight, everyone at the table gasped almost in unison; most in shock, but a couple in amusement at his audacity.

'I wouldn't know,' Pollux said, a hint of anger in his voice. 'I have not seen Marius since she turned eleven, and it was clear she had no magic within her. Do not speak of her again.'

'Really?' Sirius asked, intrigued. 'Where did she go?'

'I said, do not speak of her again,' Pollux snapped. 'Walburga, control your son.'

Sirius held his hands up in surrender. 'Sorry, didn't realise it was such a touchy topic. Let's change the subject, shall we? Cissy, darling, how goes your engagement?'

Narcissa scowled at him but answered the question, anyway. Politeness had been ingrained in her since birth, after all.

'Lucius and I are blissfully happy. Thank you, Sirius.' She turned away from him to speak to the whole table. 'We've set the date for the August new moon. I won't be returning to Hogwarts for seventh year.' She let out a sharp, tinkling laugh that reminded Sirius of smashing glass. 'There doesn't seem much need for NEWTs when I have such a dashing husband to take care of me.'

'Crispy trout with a parsley-caper vinaigrette, My Lady' Kreacher announced, leading the shroud of elves into the dining hall for the fifth time.

'Finally, some proper food,' Sirius muttered under his breath. But when the plate was set before him, he regarded it with disappointment. Barely three bites of fish were arranged artfully in a fan shape with a dribble of sauce across them. Gods, he hated all this pretentious bollocks.

'Speaking of engagements,' Andromeda said, causing Sirius to look up from his plate. She wasn't going to do it now, was she? Not after he'd spent the past half an hour purposefully pissing everyone off. Was she mad? He frowned at her, shaking his head as hard as he dared, but she ignored him.

'I have an announcement of my own.'

'Andromeda,' Cygnus said. 'I thought we'd put this nonsense to bed?'

'I'm sorry, father, but I love him,' she said with a small smile. Her cheeks were flushed. She lifted her head high and gazed around at the rapt faces of their extended family and spoke in a quiet but confident voice. 'I am engaged, and we plan to marry as soon as possible. As tempted as I was to simply run away, I wanted to give you all, my family, the opportunity to accept my choice of husband, as unlikely as that may be. His name is Edward Tonks.'

'A mudblood?' Bellatrix said, looking at her sister with horror. 'Are you insane?'

'Unacceptable,' Pollux said. 'You will end this arrangement at once.'

'I will not, Grandfather. Either you accept him, or I will leave.'

Sirius rubbed his hand over his face in despair, but he had a promise to keep so he stood from the table. 'Andromeda, as the heir to our House, I wholeheartedly accept your choice of husband and offer my heartfelt congratulations to you both.' He lifted his glass. 'To the happy couple,' he finished, taking a long gulp of the one glass of wine he was permitted to drink with dinner.

'Thank you, cousin,' Andromeda said, picking up her own glass. 'And to your good health and fortune.' She took a long swig of her own.

'As if that means anything,' Sirius' father said. 'Your father has forbidden this union, and as the Head of your House, I also forbid it.'

Andromeda nodded, before standing from the table and taking a deep breath. 'Then you leave me no choice,' she said. 'I hope, one day, this House is cleansed of the ugliness that runs through like a virus. Goodbye, Sirius, and thank you again for your lone support.'

Sirius inclined his head to his favourite cousin. 'Farewell, Andy. Have a good life.'

With that, Andromeda swept from the room and a moment later the sound of the front door slamming closed shattered the silence.

'Good riddance,' Walburga said, a nasty sneer on her face. 'Disgusting little mudblood lover.'

Sirius remained standing as the rest of his relatives picked their cutlery up to continue the meal. The house-elves had finally served a decent-sized dish, roasted duck with an orange and ginger glaze, but Sirius found he no longer had the stomach for it.

'If you don't mind, mother, I'd like to retire to my room. Unless you'd prefer me to return to my imprisonment in the cellar?'

'Kreacher,' Walburga said. The ugly elf appeared immediately. 'Take Master Sirius back to the cellar.'

Kreacher bowed so low his nose touched the ground. 'My pleasure, My Lady.'

-o-o-o-o-

_Friday 23rd June_

_Remus,_

_Mum cuddles are the best cuddles, I'm thrilled you're finally able to enjoy them._

_I also find myself intrigued and excited by your promises of additional noise and mayhem. Your fledgling plans should be well on their way towards fully grown by the time you arrive. Let me know if you need any supplies._

_Consider this a metaphorical handshake on your proposed bet and prepare to lose. Mr and Mrs Potter are well used to chaos, my friend, and they will not be ruffled by even your most devious of devilish plans. I look forward to watching you do all my homework for a month. Is that one calendar month or one lunar cycle? Do I get to specify which month you will be my homework slave for? We should hash out the details now to avoid arguments later._

_No need for apologies, before Peter Day is probably better than after, anyway. We'll be together sooner. Mum says to be here for 4 pm on the 18th, and to tell your parents you'll be home by 10 am on the 21st. Our Floo address is Potter Manor. You are connected to the Floo network, right?_

_I still haven't heard from Sirius, and Peter says he hasn't either. Mum's going to send the official invitation next week; hopefully, the response will at least let us know he's okay, but I'm worried about him._

_Yours in anticipation,_

_James._

-o-o-o-o-

Monday 26th June

The twins had finished building the enclosure on Saturday afternoon, and Dumbledore came by to inspect it on Sunday, declaring it more than adequate. Despite that, Remus was still apprehensive as he waited for the clock to tick around to nine-fifteen. Nine days of doing no magic had had a positive effect on his pre-moon symptoms. He'd felt fine until ten-thirty that morning when the ache began to make itself known deep in his bones. His anxiety, though, was another story.

Every day that went by without a word from Sirius caused his worries to increase. Was he being punished for the kiss? Did he regret it so much that he wouldn't speak to Remus anymore? On returning to his home, had he decided that being friends with a monster wasn't worth the hassle? Or was it even worse than that? Had anyone ever kissed a werewolf before? How could they be sure his saliva wasn't infectious?

The questions cycled through his mind continuously, and every time he considered the possibility that kissing him may have turned Sirius into a beast like him, he forcibly wrenched his thoughts to something else. There was nothing he could do but wait to hear from him. Wait and hope.

'It's time, sweetheart.'

Remus looked at the clock on the wall and grimaced. It was indeed nine-fifteen, and the moon would be rising in just under half an hour. He pulled himself to a sitting position with a groan he tried hard to suppress. The twins were standing behind his mum, watching him, and he hated having an audience.

Fabian stepped forward. 'Do you want a hand?'

Remus scowled at him. 'I can manage, thank you.' He knew they were there to protect his mum in case something went wrong with the spellwork on the new cage, but he hated the idea of people who were practically strangers listening to his transformation and he was in a crappy mood because of it.

'No one is suggesting you can't,' Gideon said, rolling his eyes. 'But why would you choose to struggle alone when people are offering to help?'

'Pride, I would guess,' Fabian said. 'Typical for a Gryffindor, really.'

Remus hauled himself to his feet and was pleased when he didn't even wobble. 'I've been doing it alone for seven years, I see no reason to change that now,' he told them before walking through to the kitchen and out the back door. They followed him, of course.

The new enclosure looked like a very large, windowless log cabin. And when Remus described it as very large, he meant _very_ ; it was huge. Ridiculously so. The thing took up the entire garden and stretched into the woodland behind, and Remus couldn't help but feel guilty about it. His mother had always enjoyed the view from the kitchen, and now all she had to look at while she cooked was a constant reminder of her son's abnormality.

Remus had yet to look inside the structure, and he approached the door with a mixture of trepidation and something like excitement; a kind of anticipation, but not of something good, just something not as bad as usual.

'There's no lock,' he said, noticing the complete lack of locking mechanism on the outside of the door.

'Doesn't need one,' Fabian said. 'The door will magically lock at moonrise and stay locked until moonset, every night. We couldn't figure out how to make it only work on full moons.'

Remus nodded and pushed the door open. As the inside of the cage was revealed, he couldn't hold back his gasp.

'Nice, huh?' Gideon said, grinning at him.

That was an understatement if ever he'd heard one. It looked like a miniature meadow. The ground underfoot was grass, as bright and lush as you'd find on the richest of lawns, but allowed to grow long and beautiful, the way nature intended. Wildflowers grew amongst the greenery, treating Remus' eyes to flashes of red, pink, purple and yellow as the grass swayed in a magical breeze.

He could barely see the walls through the bushes that bordered the meadow and there didn't appear to be any roof; he could see the night sky clearly above him.

'Are you sure the wolf can't climb out?'

'Positive. The ceiling's enchanted like the Great Hall,' Fabian said. 'We thought it'd be nice for the wolf to be able to see the sky.'

'We put your bed right by the door,' Gideon said, nodding his head towards the floor to his left. 'Easier for your mum to get you in the morning. And there's a trunk there to put your things in.'

Remus glanced down and saw a pile of animal furs in the corner. A wooden box with a hinged lid sat beside them.

Gideon must have seen something in his face because he quickly added, 'We got them from the centaurs at school. They only kill to eat, you know? Seems a shame to waste the skins.'

'We would have bought artificial, but we wanted all the scents in here to be natural,' Fabian said.

Remus nodded. 'It's fine. Thank you for doing this. It's much more than I expected.'

'We just hope it helps,' Gideon said.

Fabian nodded. 'Good luck, tonight. We might see you in the morning.'

'Have a good night, sweetheart,' his mum said.

Remus gave her a hug, enjoying the comfort of his mum's arms before a transformation for the first time, but missing Sirius' scent. Then they left, shutting the door behind them.

Alone, Remus removed his dressing gown and put it inside the box to protect it from the wolf, before curling up on the skins to wait. The room was pleasantly warm, even lying there nude, and he felt a wave of gratitude towards Gideon and Fabian. They really had tried to make this place comfortable for him, and for the wolf.

Ten minutes later, the pain set in and the screaming began.

-o-o-o-o-

The wolf sniffed the air.

It smelt like Outside. Was he back in the old space?

He opened his eyes and blinked. No. This was something entirely new.

Jumping to his feet, he began to investigate.

It was very similar to Outside. There was the soft springy stuff under his feet, and lots of interesting smells. Big, thick bushy things lined the edges of the space and he stuck his head in them to sniff around. It was a big space—the biggest he'd been in—and it looked and smelled a lot like Outside, which was pleasant, but it wasn't Outside.

It wasn't freedom.

He was still trapped. And worse, Pack-mate wasn't there.

The wolf wondered if his pack-mate would find him there. He had found him once before, after all. It wasn't impossible. While he was waiting, he could test the boundaries of this new space he was in. Perhaps this one would have a way to escape.

-o-o-o-o-

Remus rolled onto his side and groaned at the ache in his bones. Lifting his arms above his head, he stretched his muscles, enjoying the delicious sensation that rippled through them; an almost pain that was pleasurable. After giving himself a mental once over, and deciding he seemed to be okay, he opened his eyes. And did a double-take.

His upper-body, from the highest point on his chest he could see down to his waist and the entirety of his arms, hands and fingers, was coated in mud. It was dried on, and the thin layer cracked as he moved, small bits flaking off to land on the animal furs he was lying on.

His body ached from the transformation, but otherwise, he felt alright, so he pulled himself to a sitting position and looked around. The door sat open—his mum must have already been in to check on him—but he couldn't see much of the enclosure from so low down. The long grass was obstructing his view. He crawled over to the box and pulled on his dressing-gown over the crusty layer of mud, causing more of the stuff to flake off. Merlin, he was looking forward to a nice long shower. His thoughts briefly went to the showers at Hogwarts; their water pressure was so much better than his shower at home.

Using the wall for leverage, Remus pulled himself upright and gazed at the sight before him. Where yesterday there had been a small but beautiful meadow, there was now a gaping pit in the ground. It looked as though a small asteroid had landed in the centre of the enclosure. That explained the mud. Well, at least the wolf had a good time, he thought with a shrug, hoping Gideon and Fabian weren't too upset at the ruin he'd made of their efforts.

After wrapping his dressing gown around himself tightly and tying the cord, Remus padded out of the enclosure and in through the back door, finding his mum and the twins drinking tea at the small kitchen table.

'Morning, Archie,' Gideon said with a grin.

'Morning,' Remus said. Then he frowned. 'Archie?'

'Short for archaeologist,' Fabian explained. 'We figure you must have been digging for ancient ruins last night. You find anything?'

Remus felt his face heating. 'Er… No. I'm sorry about the mess, though.'

His mum handed him a cup of tea with a smile, and Remus sat down at the table.

Gideon rolled his eyes. 'Don't be daft. That was the whole point of the dirt floor, to give the wolf something to do. And it looks like it worked perfectly.' Gideon waved his hand to indicate Remus' body. 'Your mum said there were no injuries last night?'

Remus' face warmed even further; he hated talking about his lycanthropy with other people. 'No. I'm fine,' he said. 'Thank you.'

'And it's only ten o'clock,' Fabian said. 'Apparently, that's pretty early for you to wake up?'

'Very,' Remus confirmed.

'Well then, I declare the Lunar Lodge a complete success,' Gideon said. 'So we'll be off. Hope, you have our contact details if anything needs repairing?'

Remus' mum nodded.

'Good luck in second-year, Remus. And have a good holiday.'

'Feel free to write to us,' Fabian said. 'Bye.'

The twins showed themselves out through the back door and apparated away once they were outside.

Remus' mum smirked at him and took another sip of her tea.

'What?'

'You should probably take a look in the mirror.'

Remus groaned. 'Is my face covered in mud too?'

She nodded, eyes twinkling with mirth. 'And your hair.'

'Do I look ridiculous?'

'Utterly.'

'Wonderful.'

It was twenty-six hours later that Remus received the letter that made his stomach drop and turned him into a ball of anxiety for the rest of the summer.

_Remus,_

_I apologise for not writing sooner, but I've been a little busy. I won't be able to write again and please don't write to me anymore either. I will see you at James' in August._

_Sirius._

-o-o-o-o-

Wednesday 9th August

'Sirius!'

Sirius glanced up at the sound of his name being called. His mother was striding towards him across the grounds of Malfoy Manor. He'd been doing his best to meld into the background, hoping to go unnoticed, but he should have known better. The only reason he was here and not still in the cellar at home was so his mother could show off her heir. Despite the fact that she despised who he was, she was proud of his perfect Black looks and, when he bothered to remember his years of training, she was proud of his bearing and his conversational skills.

'The ceremony is about to begin. You should be standing with your father,' she said, dragging him off to join the bonding circle.

The guests to the Black-Malfoy wedding ceremony were congregated in the middle of the extensive lawn at the back of the mansion, forming a large circle, with spaces left either side of Orion for his mother and himself. Sirius took his place on the right of his father and waited for the show to begin.

It was a clear night and Sirius looked up at the sky, his eyes automatically searching out the constellation of Canis Major and his own star. It was a new moon, Remus would be well at the moment, and there were only three more weeks until he'd be back at Hogwarts with his friends. His mother hadn't mentioned anything about an invitation from the Potters, but it must be happening soon, unless it had been cancelled. Gods, he hated being out of touch; not knowing what was happening.

When the first notes of the traditional wedding music played, Sirius straightened his spine and allowed his mask to cover his feelings of revulsion. Going to the Potters was too important to him to risk pissing his mother off, even if he didn't know for sure if it was still happening. Tonight, he would play his role perfectly, in the hopes of a better tomorrow.

Narcissa floated into the circle wearing silver robes on the arm of Lucius, who wore Slytherin green. Sirius wanted desperately to roll his eyes but, pulling some willpower from the depths of his soul, he managed to refrain. The "happy" couple stood facing Orion Black and Narcissa had a wide smile plastered on her face, but Lucius' grin looked forced; not quite reaching his eyes. Sirius remembered the conversation they'd had in the library the previous summer and felt sorry for the man.

The bonding ritual lasted half an hour, and Sirius tuned most of it out, sickened as he was by the whole thing. And knowing that a similar fate awaited him in the future. He briefly wondered who his parents would force him to marry, but quickly decided he didn't want to think about it.

When the last of the silver threads of light binding the couple's hands together finally dissipated, Sirius breathed out a heavy sigh. Part relief that it was over, part dread of what his next punishment would be when he returned to the cellar.

The circle was breaking up. Guests were approaching the couple to offer their congratulations, and Sirius glanced around for Reggie. Spotting him standing alone, Sirius took his chance and hurried over to him.

'Reggie!' he said by way of greeting when he was close enough.

Regulus looked up and smiled when he saw him. 'Hey Siri, you doing okay?'

'No,' Sirius said bluntly. 'But you know that. Thanks, by the way.'

Regulus nodded. 'I posted them for you.'

'Good. I appreciate it.'

'I know. You better go, though. If mother sees us talking, you'll pay for it.'

'Sirius rolled his eyes, but he knew Reggie was right. 'I'll see you September first. Love you, Reggie.'

'Love you too, Siri,' Regulus said. 'Now go.'

Sirius nodded and wandered away to the other side of the garden. When he looked around, his mother's beady eyes were watching him, but she gave him a small nod of approval. Apparently, he was behaving to her satisfaction.

Two hours passed in sheer boredom. Sirius spoke with many important guests, and he behaved impeccably. It was horrendous. But oh, so worth it when they returned home. After arriving in the drawing-room, Sirius began the short journey to the cellar, but his mother stopped him.

'You have received an invitation from House Potter to spend two days with their heir,' she told him. Sirius tried very hard not to show his happiness on his face. 'You will go. Remember that while you are there, you are representing this family. I expect you to properly cultivate this opportunity. Do you understand?'

'Yes, mother,' Sirius said. 'When is it?'

'Nine days. You will spend that time in your room. I want you to look your best, and you're far too thin,' she said, looking him up and down with an expression of disapproval.

Well, that'll be because you haven't been feeding me. But he kept the thought to himself. He wasn't going to risk her changing her mind over a snide comment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I want to thank everyone for their lovely comments on the last chapter; you all made my Christmas day amazing :)
> 
> Second, as much as it pains me to do it, and it really does pain me, I'm going to have to be a responsible adult for a week or two and take a break from writing to catch up on my severely neglected university work. I really wanted to finish the summer holidays before I stopped, but alas, I cannot put off my work any longer :(
> 
> Feel free to leave comments asking for updates on my progress if you're impatient, they'll motivate me to work harder :D 


	43. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry it's been so long. This chapter is extra-long though :)

Friday, 18th August 1972

'Are you sure you've got everything, sweetheart?'

Remus rolled his eyes before turning away from the fireplace to face his mum. 'You've asked me that three times already. Yes, I'm sure. Can I go now?'

'I'm just checking. Don't want you waking up tomorrow to find you completely forgot to pack clean underwear,' his mum said, chuckling at his impatience. 'Give me one more hug before you go?'

Remus sighed dramatically, making her laugh again, and wrapped his arms around her waist. There had been a ridiculous amount of hugging since he returned from school. Both of them initiating as much as the other; neither of them able to resist the overwhelming urge to make up for all the times they'd wanted to, but believed they couldn't.

'I'm going to be late,' Remus mumbled after a minute before pulling away and looking up at her. 'I don't want them to think I'm rude.'

'Alright, go on then. Have a nice time,' she said, nudging him towards the fireplace. 'And remember your manners.'

Remus grabbed a handful of floo powder. 'Of course, mum. Love you,' he said, and threw the floo powder into the fire. He watched as the flames turned emerald green before he stepped in and, making sure his backpack was secure, said, 'Potter Manor.' Closing his eyes against the dizzying array of rooms whizzing past him as he sped through the floo network, he waited to be spat out into James' home, bracing himself to not fall flat on his face. Gods, that would be embarrassing.

Thankfully, even though he stumbled out of the fireplace, he managed to stay upright. There was only enough time to catch a glimpse of a vibrantly red carpet and white walls before there was a shout of, 'Remus!' and he was engulfed in warm arms and the scent of freshly cut grass and a summer's breeze.

'Hey, James,' he murmured into James' shoulder, hugging him back.

James pulled back but kept his hands on his shoulders and stared at him intently. 'You okay?'

Remus nodded automatically, a little intimidated by James' odd behaviour. 'Sure, why wouldn't I be?'

'Just checking,' James said, shaking his head and grinning. He pulled Remus' bag off his shoulder. 'Let me take that,' he said, plonking it down on the floor next to them. 'We'll take it up to my room as soon as Pete and Sirius get here.'

'Am I early?' Remus asked, looking around for a clock, and getting a better look at the room in the process. It didn't seem to have any particular function in the home apart from receiving guests. The room was smaller than his living room at home and there was a bright-red, two-seater sofa against the wall opposite the fireplace, with a glass table next to it, and that was it for furniture. The table held a gold tray containing a jug of water and three glasses—the condensation dripping down the side of jug suggested the water was deliciously cold. A few paintings hung on the wall, landscapes of forest scenes, and the curtains framing the window were red and gold. Remus was starting to understand where James came by his obsession for Gryffindor colours. The whole house couldn't be decorated like this, surely?

'No, right on time actually, the others are late.' James led him over to the sofa and sat him down, but stayed standing himself, bouncing on his toes. Behind him the fire flared green, but James didn't notice. 'Pete's probably fending off his mum's attempts to clean his face one more time, and Sirius is likely getting a last-minute lecture.'

'You couldn't be more right if you tried,' Sirius said, stepping out of the fireplace and grinning when Remus caught his eye. The sight of him made Remus' stomach do a backflip. 'Don't show us up, Sirius. Act like a Black, Sirius. As if,' he finished with a derisive snort.

James spun around and threw himself at him with a cry of, 'Sirius!'

'Alright, mate. I missed you too,' Sirius said, laughing as he caught him and returned the hug.

James repeated his actions from Remus' arrival, leaving his hands on Sirius' shoulders and gazing into his eyes as if trying to read his mind. 'You okay?'

Sirius didn't answer as immediately as Remus had. He swallowed first, before nodding and plastering a smile on his face. It didn't reach his eyes, and Remus was sure James had noticed.

'Yeah, I'm fine, mate. Happy to be here, though.' He glanced over James' shoulder and winked. 'Hey, Nerd boy.' Before returning his attention to James. 'No Pete yet?'

James let him go and shook his head. 'I'm sure he'll be here any second. While we're waiting, what the hell was the letter all about? Don't write to you? Why not?'

Remus had been worried Sirius was angry with him when he first received the note, though he hadn't been able to work out why that would be (Sirius had kissed him, not the other way around), but after James wrote saying Sirius had Owled him the same letter, his worry had turned into concern for Sirius' wellbeing instead.

'I'd like to know that too,' Remus said.

'Merlin! I am so sorry about that,' Sirius said. He dumped his bag down next to Remus' and flopped gracefully onto the sofa, swinging his legs up into Remus' lap. Remus frowned at them in consternation but didn't shove him off. He was just glad Sirius was in one piece, and seemed unharmed—apart from that second of hesitation earlier, but perhaps he was just recovering from the floo?

'Mother was insisting on reading all my mail, incoming and outgoing,' he said with a grimace. 'I didn't want any of our secrets getting out.'

Remus was trying to work out where to put his hands with Sirius draped across his lap like he was—on the seat either side of him seemed a bit awkward—so it took him a moment to process the implications of Sirius' mother reading his mail. But when he did, he froze. His head spun as he frantically tried to remember what he'd written in his letter; he knew he'd been careful in his wording, but was he careful enough?

'You could've just explained that, though,' James said, frowning.

'There wasn't time,' Sirius said. 'I snuck into the aviary while mother was making a fire call, I had to be quick.'

James nodded, before spinning around to look at the fireplace. 'Where the hell is Pete? He's ten minutes late.'

Remus was just about to give up and let his hands rest on top of Sirius' legs when Sirius suddenly swung them off his lap and jumped to his feet. 'He'll be here soon. What's the plan for the next two days?'

'We should wait for—' The fire flared green again and Peter stumbled out of the fireplace, coughing. He must have got a mouthful of ash when he stated his destination. Poor boy, Remus hated it when that happened. James darted over to the table and poured Peter a glass of water, pushing it into his hand and rubbing his back as he took a large gulp.

'Better?' he asked when Peter stopped choking and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His face had gone bright red during the coughing fit, but was fading back to normal now it was over—his eyes were still watering though, and he pulled the bottom edge of his t-shirt up to his face to wipe them.

'Yeah, I think I'm good now. Can't wait until we learn to apparate. I'll never bloody floo anywhere again. Thanks for the drink, mate.' Peter looked around, noticing the others in the room for the first time. 'Oh, hey guys. I'm late, aren't I? Mum wouldn't let me go. Started crying and I had to… Well, doesn't matter. I'm sorry, anyway.'

'It's fine, you're here now,' James said. 'Let's take your stuff upstairs and then I'll take you to see mum and dad, they're in the garden.'

James led the three of them out of the receiving room, as Remus was calling it in his head, through a front hall that was bigger than Remus' living room but thankfully not decorated in red and gold, and up a staircase wide enough that the four of them could all walk side by side. At the top James took a right and led them past several doors and round a corner before finally stopping in front of a door near the end of the hall.

'Welcome to my lair,' James said theatrically as he pushed the door open and waved them inside.

The room was huge, bigger than the dorm they shared at school but decorated in almost the exact same way. There was a four-poster bed with red curtains, and a desk pushed up against the wall with bookshelves beside it. James broomstick was in the corner and there were two other doors; a bathroom and a wardrobe, Remus assumed. The window sat open to invite a non-existent breeze and showed a beautiful view of rolling hills in one direction and woodland in the other. Remus was itching to go out and explore the landscape, but that was not why they were there. In pride of place above the headboard of James' bed hung the painting Sirius has done of the beach-room featuring James. He was riding his broomstick across the water, skimming the surface with his toes and dodging the larger waves when they threatened to throw him off. They had each taken their own painting home with them, under strict instructions to bring them back to school in September to decorate their new dorm. Remus had hung his above his desk so he could look at it when he was working.

'What do you think?' James asked.

'Well, it's very you,' Remus said, wandering over to scan the titles of the books on display. They were mostly children's stories and books about quidditch, but there were a few magical theory books he'd be interested in looking at later if the others went flying or something.

'I think it's brilliant,' Sirius said, sticking his arms out and spinning around in the middle of the room. 'I love the colour scheme.'

Peter sniffed the air. 'Why does your room smell like barbecue?'

James' face lit up. 'That's dinner! Mum thought you'd be more comfortable if we didn't sit at the table tonight. So she's doing burgers on the barbecue.'

'What's a barbecue?' Sirius asked.

'It's when you cook food outside over a charcoal fire, usually burgers and sausages,' Remus told him.

'It's a muggle thing,' James said. 'My dad learned about it in muggle studies when he was at school, and he loved the idea, so we do it every summer.'

'Muggle, huh? Mother would have a fit, I can't wait,' Sirius said with a grin. Again, it didn't quite reach his eyes. What was going on with him?

-o-o-o-o-

Half an hour later Sirius was standing with his friends in James' garden, holding the strangest food he'd ever seen. After asking what a barbecue was, he hadn't wanted to admit to not knowing what a burger was either. It turned out to be a circular slab of meat inside a roll with melted cheese and salad. And apparently it was supposed to be eaten while standing up and holding a drink in the other hand. The salad kept leaking out the edge of the bun and he kept having to catch it with his mouth to keep it from soiling the garden. It was incredibly undignified.

But it tasted amazing.

He took another large bite, catching some escaping lettuce with his tongue, and glanced around. James' garden was massive, if you could even call it a garden. There was no boundary to it as far as he could see. The manicured lawns opened right onto woodlands on one side and spread into the wild hillside on the other. He wondered if the Potter's owned that land too. Effie was standing behind the barbecue—a brick construction with a grill above a firepit—engulfed in smoke with a beaming smile adorning a face glowing red from the heat, flipping the burgers and turning the sausages. She had greeted all of them with hugs when James led them outside, but quickly returned to the food saying it had to be watched or the meat would burn.

Monty was just stepping out through the backdoor having returned to the house briefly to bring out a fresh jug of lemonade. Sirius hadn't had lemonade before either, but Monty had told him it was the traditional children's drink at barbecues. It tasted sharp, but sweet, and fizzed in his mouth. He loved it just as much as the burgers. Monty placed the jug down on the table with the cooked meat and buns and joined his wife at the barbecue, kissing the end of her nose and making her laugh. Sirius smiled, his parents never behaved like that.

'So,' James said through a mouthful of meat and bread, returning Sirius' attention to the group. 'Tomorrow we're going to London to kit me and Sirius out with some proper muggle clothes.'

'I brought you both an outfit to wear for the trip,' Remus said, providing Sirius with an opportunity to look at him properly. His hair was shining in the light from the sun. 'You can't go around London in wizard robes. They're probably going to be too small though.'

James waved his hand, which was still holding a half-eaten burger, sending lettuce shooting across the garden and making Sirius cringe. Sirius glanced at James' parents to see if they'd noticed, but they weren't paying any attention to the boys.

'No worries, mum can enlarge them for us. Sunday is Peter Day, of course.' James smiled at Peter and he grinned back. 'I have something planned for that, but I'm not telling you what.'

'Who wants a hotdog?' Monty shouted from the grill.

'A hot dog?' Sirius asked, alarmed. 'Muggles don't eat dogs, do they?'

James laughed. 'No, it's a sausage in a bun, I don't know why they call it that.'

'Muggles are weird,' Sirius said.

He ate two hotdogs in the end, and a second burger. All washed down with a copious amount of lemonade. By the time they plodded back upstairs to James' room, he was so full he could barely move.

'We thought you boys could just camp out together on James' floor,' Effie said, pulling out her wand. 'James said you wouldn't mind.'

'Not at all, Effie,' Sirius said. 'Whatever's most convenient.'

James rolled his eyes and nudged Sirius with his elbow. 'You're being a Black again. Stop being so polite and tell her how you really feel.'

He looked up at Effie, and she was smiling at him in encouragement.

'I mean, that sounds great,' he said.

'I doubt any of you will be sleeping much anyway,' she said, winking at them. She waved her wand around, muttering incantations under her breath and the expanse of bare floor in the middle of the room softened, followed by a stream of blankets and pillows flying in over the tops of their heads and arranging themselves on the floor.

'There,' she said with a satisfied smile. 'That should be comfortable. I've silenced the room so you won't disturb us with your noise. But do try to get some sleep, won't you?'

'Of course, mum,' James said. 'We'll need our energy for shopping tomorrow, and Remus likes his sleep.'

Remus blushed but nodded his agreement. 'I'll make sure they behave.'

'Don't believe his innocent act, Effy,' Sirius said, swinging his arm around Remus' shoulder. 'He's the brains behind all our mischief.'

'I can well believe it,' she said. 'It's always the quiet ones you have to watch.'

'Well, I've barely slept all holiday, so I don't want to be up late,' Peter said, walking into the room and flopping down onto the nest of blankets with a groan of appreciation. 'This is amazing. Think I'm just going to go to sleep right now.'

Effie laughed. 'Alright, goodnight boys.'

They all said good night to her, and she left, closing the door behind her. Sirius, Remus and James quickly joined Peter in the blanket nest, and it was just as comfortable as Peter had declared. Like sitting on a cloud.

'So,' James said. 'Catch-up? Anyone have any news to share?'

'My mum kicked my dad out,' Remus said. 'Apparently he lied to her about something and she couldn't forgive him.'

'Woah!' James said. 'That's big, are you okay?'

Remus shrugged. 'We never really got along, so I'm not bothered. My mum's been kind of down about it, though.'

'Do you know what he lied about?' Peter asked.

'No,' Remus lied. 'Just that it was important.'

You're damn right it was important. Sirius hated his mother just a little more in that moment, realising Remus had to deal with the aftermath of their plan alone because of her. Bitch.

'Well good riddance then,' James said, leaning forward to give Remus a hug. 'People shouldn't lie to someone they care about.'

That caused guilt to flood through Sirius in a wave. Should he tell them the truth about his holiday? But what good would it do? They couldn't help and it would just make them worry about him. He was lying to them for their own good; it wasn't the same as what Remus' dad had done at all.

'Yeah,' Remus agreed. 'That's all my news, anyway.'

When no one else spoke, Sirius said, 'Andy announced her engagement. It went about as well as expected. She's been disowned.' Sirius chuckled, remembering the scene in the dining room. 'She was brilliant, though. Didn't back down for a second.'

James put his arm around Sirius' shoulders and squeezed. 'Ah, that sucks, mate. I'm sorry. Good for her, though. She made the right choice.'

Sirius smiled at him sadly. 'Yeah, she did. I'm going to miss her, though.'

'There's no reason you can't stay in touch and see her sometimes,' Remus said. 'We'll help you hide it from your family.'

'Course we will,' James said.

Sirius grinned, 'You're right, thanks, guys.'

'No problem,' James said, before turning to Peter. 'You got any news?'

Peter shook his head. 'No, my summer's been boring compared to those two.'

Sirius wished his summer had been boring too.

'Okay, well,' James said. 'I have something… It's not exactly news, but it's interesting. I was telling my dad about some of the things we did this year, and I mentioned the secret wing we found. Dad said it's the old squib wing.'

'Squibs went to Hogwarts?' Sirius asked, remembering what his Grandfather had said about his Great Aunt Marius. He hadn't seen her since she turned eleven.

'Yeah, apparently they were kept separate from the rest of the school. Everyone knew about them, but no one ever saw them. The program was shut down fifteen years ago.'

'Merlin,' Remus said. 'Can you imagine being shut up in that wing for ten months every year? That little courtyard wouldn't get much sun.'

'Not just ten months,' James said. 'Squibs were sent there at eleven and stayed until they graduated.'

'That's horrible,' Peter said. 'Those poor kids.'

'That explains why I didn't recognise the names in the files,' Sirius said. 'They were wiped from their family history.' Like Marius was blasted from the family tree. And now Andromeda, too.

'How could they be wiped from history?' Remus asked, frowning. 'Surely people would know about the child before they were sent away?'

Sirius shook his head. 'Pureblood families don't announce a birth until the child demonstrates magical ability.'

Remus looked stunned, but James didn't seem surprised. He was a pureblood too, of course, but Sirius doubted Effie and Monty had waited to show him off when he was born.

Peter's forehead was creased in thought. 'So, if no one ever sees them do accidental magic, but they are magical, no one but their family knows they exist until they get their Hogwarts letter?'

'Basically,' Sirius said.

'That is so bizarre,' Remus said, shaking his head in disbelief.

'It must be horrible to be hidden away from everyone your entire life,' Peter said.

'Yeah,' Remus said. 'Lonely too.'

'Well, this got depressing fast,' James said. 'Shall we get changed and play some games to brighten the mood?'

The others agreed, and ten minutes later they were all in their pyjamas and propped up against the ridiculous amount of squishy pillows Effie had provided. The blankets were piled in the middle of the floor, ignored; it was still warm in the room, and no one felt the need to cover up.

James drummed his hands on the floor before clapping them together. 'So, games?'

'My cousins taught me one at Christmas,' Peter said. 'It's called, would you rather? Basically you give two options that are similar in some way and the others have to choose which they'd rather do. Like, would you rather… I dunno… um… eat nothing but chocolate for the rest of your life or never be able to eat chocolate again?'

'Never eat chocolate again,' Sirius and James both said simultaneously.

'Eat nothing but chocolate,' Remus said.

'That's not healthy, mate,' James said. 'You'd get sick.'

'I can't not have chocolate ever again, though,' Remus said. 'What's the point in life without chocolate?'

'Brilliant example,' Peter said. 'When people disagree, they argue about it.'

'Alright, I think I get it,' James said. 'How about… Would you rather be able to talk to animals or babies?'

'Animals,' Sirius said immediately, thinking of Moony.

'Babies,' Peter said. 'Think about it, How useful would that be when we're older and have our own kids.'

'I'm not sure I want kids,' Sirius said. 'And it would only be useful until they learn to talk. Being able to talk to animals would never get old.'

James laughed. 'Remus? You get the deciding vote.'

'I'm not sure there's a winner in this game, but I vote animals. I agree with Sirius,' he said, chuckling when Sirius launched himself sideways and hugged him in thanks, 'understanding animals would be more useful in the long term. Alright, you nutter, get off, I'm going to fall over.'

Sirius released him and grinned. 'My turn! Would you rather…' he paused and rubbed his chin in thought. 'Oh, I know. Would you rather drink a potion that makes you speak every thought out loud or drink a potion that will make you silenced forever?'

'Silenced forever,' Remus said immediately. He shuddered. 'I wouldn't want everyone to hear my thoughts.'

I bet you wouldn't, Sirius thought. Then everyone would know you're a werewolf.

'I'm with Remus,' Peter said. 'You gotta be able to keep some things to yourself.'

'James?' Sirius asked, looking to his right. James looked to be in deep distress.

'I can't choose!' he wailed. 'They're both terrible!'

'Rules are rules, Jamesie boy, you gotta pick one,' Sirius said, laughing.

'Fine, fine. I pick speak my every thought. I couldn't bear to be silenced forever.'

'But you wouldn't be able to cause mischief. Everyone would know what you're planning,' Sirius said.

James huffed. 'I'd just have to learn how to control my thoughts, so I only think about mischief when I'm alone.'

They all laughed at the idea of James having any self-control.

'Yeah, good luck with that mate,' Sirius said through his chuckles. 'Remus your turn.'

'Oh,' Remus said. 'Alright… um… Would you rather… Always be ten minutes late or always be twenty minutes early?'

'Easy, ten minutes late,' Sirius said. 'I hate waiting around.'

'Always, though. For everything,' Remus said.

'He's got a point,' James said. 'Right now it's just late for class, and who cares, right? But what about when we're older. Ten minutes late to job interviews, you'd never get hired. Ten minutes late to dates, every girlfriend would dump you. Ten minutes late to—'

'Alright, I get the point,' Sirius said. 'Fine, twenty minutes early then.'

James whooped. 'I changed his mind! Do I get an extra point for that?'

Peter shook his head. 'Sorry, game doesn't work like that. And I pick twenty minutes early too. My turn again. Would you rather give up your magic and keep your friends or keep your magic and give up your friends?'

Sirius gaped at him. 'What kind of fucking choice is that?'

'An agonising one,' Peter said, grinning. 'So what's it going to be?'

'Give up my magic,' Remus said. He flushed in embarrassment but didn't look away. 'I would hate to lose you guys.'

'Magic,' James said. 'I'd rather be a muggle with friends than a friendless wizard.'

They all looked at Sirius. 'Magic. Merlin knows how I'd cope without it, but you guys would help me, right?'

'Of course. Although, I'd be just as clueless as you,' James said, laughing. 'Hmm. Would you rather be sorted into Slytherin, or never go to Hogwarts at all?'

Sirius glared at him. 'That is a horrible choice, and you know it. But if I had to choose, I'd be sorted into Slytherin, because atleast I'd be away from home and I could just spend as little time as possible in the common room.'

'I'd choose Slytherin too,' Peter said. 'I'm hopeless enough without not going to school.'

'You're not hopeless, Pete,' Remus said, then he turned to James, 'I'd pick not go to Hogwarts. I don't think I'd survive in Slytherin and I'd learn just fine by myself at home.'

'Aw, Remus, no,' Sirius said. 'Come to Hogwarts and be a Slytherin with me and Pete, we could gang up on James and terrorise him.'

'Oi!' James said, crossing his arms. 'Why would you gang up on me? I'd still be your friend, even if you were all in Slytherin.'

'Do you really think so?' Sirius asked, not believing that could be true. 'You'd only known me for a few hours before the sorting.'

'And you only known me for five minutes,' Peter said.

'You didn't know me at all,' Remus said.

'We'd have found each other, anyway,' James said, jutting his chin out in defiance. 'I'm sure of it.'

'If you say so, mate,' Sirius said. He was acting like he didn't really care, but James' utter certainty made him feel like his heart might burst. 'Is it my turn?'

James nodded.

'Alright, would you rather be friends with a vampire or a werewolf?' Sirius very carefully didn't look at Remus while he asked, knowing he would probably react in some way and not wanting to draw attention to him. This game was the perfect opportunity to find out James and Peter's feelings about werewolves.

'A werewolf,' Peter said with a shrug. 'They're only dangerous during the full moon. The rest of the time they're just a normal person.'

James nodded thoughtfully. 'That's true, but vampires aren't dangerous if they've got a hold on their hunger either.'

'No, but they can't go out in the sun, can they? That would really limit what we could do,' Peter said.

James shook his head. 'That's a muggle myth, weren't you paying attention when we did vampires in defence?'

Peter laughed. 'What do you think?'

'Vampires are just like everyone else, except they have a constant thirst for human blood, but they can control it if they try. So they're not necessarily dangerous. Shops sell stuff specifically designed for them, like the bloodpops at Honeydukes, they wouldn't do that if they were dangerous.'

'Can they do magic?' Peter asked.

'Yeah, lycanthropy and sanguinaria only infect magical people as far as I know,' James said.

'I think I'd still rather be friends with a werewolf,' Peter said. 'They're more predictable.'

James nodded. 'Yeah, me too. What about you, Remus?'

Sirius finally allowed himself to look at Remus. He'd schooled his face into something neutral, but Sirius could see his fists were clenched in front of him, hidden from James and Peter by the pile of blankets in the middle of their circle. He was tense; Sirius hoped he wasn't angry.

'Yeah, a werewolf,' Remus said. 'I agree with you.'

He was quite possibly angry. Shit.

'This game's getting boring,' Sirius said, hoping to distract James and Peter from Remus' odd behaviour. 'Let's do something else.'

James stood up, crossing the room to the cupboard under the window and pulling out a box. He returned to the circle and placed it down, pushing the pile of blankets to the side to make room. The lid showed a colourful, moving image of dragons, hippogriffs and trolls surrounding a bearded man in silver robes gracefully battling them, his wand moving through the air so fast it was nothing but a blur. The words above the picture read Merlin's Adventure.

'Mum bought me this last week, I haven't tried it yet,' James told them, pulling off the lid to inspect the contents. The first thing he removed from the box was a square board which expanded to four time it's original size when he placed it on the floor, before the edges turned ninety degrees and grew towards the ceiling for several inches.

James retrieved four figures from the box next, the bearded wizard who was clearly supposed to be Merlin, a house-elf wearing an armoured tunic, a centaur and a goblin. There was a short argument over who got to be Merlin, ending in a vote with no Marauder allowed to vote for themselves. Remus won. Sirius quickly claimed the centaur figurine, James ended up with the house-elf and Peter the goblin.

It was a co-operative game. Each character had their own unique talents, and they were all required to defeat the obstacles along the way. The board told the story in a mystical voice of indiscriminate gender, and as the adventure unfolded, the board changed to match the scenery being described, showing forests, castles, dungeons and caves as the story progressed. The detail was incredible. At the end of each section of narrative, the boys instructed their characters on how to react to the situation and the figurines acted it out. Traps were dismantled, ferocious battles were fought and won, and wounds were tended with care.

By the time the game was finished, all four of them were yawning as if they hadn't slept for days. They tidied the game away and spread out the blankets and pillows across the softened floor, each of them finding their own space to curl up. Sirius closed his eyes and listened to his friends' quiet breathing in the darkness, taking comfort in the knowledge that he was safe again, if only for a few days.

-o-o-o-o-

'No! Don't! Stop! Please!' Sirius' pleading voice broke through into Remus' dreams and pulled him into conciousness. He blinked rapidly and sat up. Sirius was sprawled out a few feet away; the blankets were tangled around his legs and he was thrashing around as if trying to fight off some invisible assailant. James and Peter were both sitting up too, rubbing the sleep from their eyes.

'Should we wake him up?' Peter asked, frowning with concern.

'You do it, Remus,' James said. 'He's less likely to hit you.'

'Alright,' Remus said, unable to argue with James' reasoning despite his reluctance to approach the violently jerking body lying between them. He crawled closer and leant down so his mouth was close to Sirius' ear, not daring to touch him in case he got punched in the face for his trouble.

'Sirius, you're dreaming, you need to wake up,' he whispered.

'No! Please! No more! I can't… I can't,' Sirus mumbled and Remus heart clenched at the pain in his voice.

'It's a dream, Sirius. You're safe with me and James and Peter. Wake up.'

'Moony? Help me! Please!'

'Moony?' James asked. 'Who the hell is Moony?'

Remus avoided James' eyes, hoping he sounded believable when he said, 'No idea.' He returned his attention to Sirius, needing him to wake up before he said anything else incriminating and, deciding he'd rather get punched in the face than outed as a werewolf, he grabbed Sirius' hand. 'Sirius! Wake up!' he said, much louder than before, but not quite shouting. Sirius jerked and shot upright, narrowly avoiding head-butting Remus. He was panting and squeezing Remus' hand in a death-grip.

Remus hugged him to his chest and stroked his hair. 'It's okay. It was just a nightmare, You're safe now.'

'Do you want to talk about it, mate?' James asked.

Sirius pulled away and shook his head. 'No, I… I just want to forget about it.' He smiled weakly at James, and James nodded. Sirus lay back down and curled into a ball on his side. Remus, James and Peter glanced at each other and without a word they all grabbed their pillows and blankets and formed a protective circle around Sirius with their bodies. Each of them had a comforting hand on him as they all drifted back to sleep.

The next time Remus woke, the sun was streaming into the room through the gap between the curtains, tinting the backs of his eyelids red. He blinked them open with a great deal of effort to find Sirius smirking at him, his own face mere inches away.

'That looked difficult,' Sirius whispered.

'It was,' Remus said. This statement of fact was closely followed by a yawn.

'Thanks,' Sirius said. 'For waking me up last night.'

Remus attempted to shrug, but it was difficult lying on his side. 'It's okay, I'm sorry you had a nightmare.'

'Me too,' Sirius said. 'I need to talk to you later.'

'About?'

James grunted and rolled over.

'I'll tell you later,' Sirius whispered, before rolling over and launching himself at James, tickling him into surrender. 'Morning, sleepyhead!'

Once Sirius and James' morning ritual of attempted murder was complete, the four of them proceeded downstairs to breakfast. The dining table was set-up with a morning spread to rival Hogwarts, and the boys tucked in with gusto, finishing off a dozen eggs between them and probably a pigs-worth of sausages and bacon.

'That was delicious, Effy, thank you,' Remus said, placing his knife and fork together on his plate politely.

'You're welcome, dear, but you should thank Monty, not me. He does most of the cooking, I just like playing with the barbecue.'

'Oh, I'm sorry,' Remus said, looking down the table at James' dad who was grinning. 'Thank you, Monty.'

Sirius finished his last bite of sausage and rubbed his stomach in appreciation. 'Yes, thanks, Monty. That was better than anything my mother's house-elves cook.'

'You're all very welcome,' Monty said. 'Can't have you all collapsing from hunger in London can we?'

'Talking of London,' Effie said. 'What are you planning on wearing? You can't go into the muggle world in wizard robes.'

'Remus brought us both something to wear,' James said. 'But we need you to enlarge it. He's a bit smaller than normal people.'

'Hey!' Remus said.

James laughed and nudged him with his shoulder, 'Don't take it as an insult. It's what makes all the teachers think you're an innocent little bookworm. And we use that to our advantage.'

'I hope you're not corrupting your friends, Jamie,' Effie said, frowning at him.

'From what I hear, Remus didn't need any corrupting,' Monty said. 'A bit of mastermind when it comes to mischief, aren't you son?'

Remus blushed and looked at his plate. 'What have you been telling him?' he hissed to James out of the corner of his mouth.

'I told him all about how you transfigured everyone's robes, and created the Marauders,' James said loudly.

Remus looked at him with wide eyes, 'James!'

'What?' James asked, seeming utterly confused as to why Remus was upset. Didn't he understand that he wanted James' parents to like him?

'I…' was all Remus could say.

'It's alright, son,' Monty said. 'We're not against a little mischief, as long as it's safe, and James also told me that you're the safety monitor for the group?'

Remus nodded.

'Well, there you go then,' he said, as if everything was settled.

'Right,' Remus said.

An hour and a half later, Remus stood with his friends and James' parents in the Leaky Cauldron. James and Sirius were dressed in Remus' magically enlarged jeans and shirts; the subdued colours and style didn't suit them at all, and they were both eyeing Peter's bright purple satin shirt and white bellbottoms with envy. They'd already been to Gringotts to exchange their galleons for muggle money, and the funds for the trip had been handed over to Peter; the Marauder with the most experience handling muggle money.

'Right then,' Effie said, smiling down at them. 'Here's a map of the immediate area.' She unfolded the parchment she'd purchased from the bar and pointed. 'The pub is here, and the barman said there are several good clothes shops on this street here.' She pointed to another part of the map. 'Don't lose it and do try to keep track of where you are.'

James took the map from his mum and immediately handed it to Remus, 'I dub thee Temporary Master of Navigation,' he said with a grin.

'I graciously accept,' Remus said with a laugh, opening the map.

Fifteen minutes, and a few wrong turns later, they arrived at the street the barman had said was good for clothes shopping and Remus tucked the map into his pocket. They passed a few shops for women, and one that sold only shoes, before they came to one that looked as if it catered to men too.

Remus felt he should have anticipated just how excited James and Sirius would be inside their first muggle shop, but somehow he just hadn't been ready. Not even their continuous commentary on the outfits they witnessed people wearing on the way there had prepared him for their sheer enthusiasm for all things muggle.

He and Peter followed along in their wake as they rummaged through the racks of clothes, searching out the brightest colours and the boldest patterns. James, of course, honing in on all things red or gold. Sirius was less discerning in his choices—although he avoided green as if it was cursed—his decisions seemed to be based on what he considered the most outrageous of the options available.

After visiting four different clothing stores, and purchasing more clothes than Remus thought he'd owned during his entire life, they returned to the shoe shop they'd passed earlier and James and Sirius purchased two pairs each to go with their new outfits. Sirius insisted on putting on his new boots immediately, and then proceeded to stomp his way out of the shop, grinning like a maniac at how loud they made his footsteps.

'Right, lunch is on me,' James said when they were back on the street. 'Did anyone notice any places to eat?'

'I didn't see anything, but I definitely smelled food when we passed that turning earlier,' Peter said pointing at the entrance to a side street.

No conferring was necessary, they all trusted Peter's nose and, as one, they strolled towards the alley, lugging the bags of clothes along with them. The smell turned out to be a small cafe which wasn't in the side street at all but perched on the corner of the next street over. The Marauders took an outside table and perused the menu, eventually deciding on sandwiches and a portion of chips to share. They didn't want to spoil their appetites for dinner that evening, which if breakfast had been anything to go by was going to be spectacular.

When the last crumb of food had been licked from the plate, Peter went inside to pay, leaving the other three to gather the bags up.

'What do you want to do now?' Remus asked.

Sirius shrugged. 'I think we got enough clothes.'

'You definitely got enough clothes,' Remus agreed with a laugh.

'We could look around some of the other shops,' James said. 'We don't have to be back at the Cauldron for two more hours.'

'Sounds good to me,' Sirius said.

'What sounds good?' Peter asked, walking up to the table. He picked up his share of the bags and the others stood up.

'Checking out the other shops,' James said.

Peter nodded. 'Alright, which way?'

'Let's walk down to the end of here,' Sirius said. 'Remus, you keep an eye on the map so we don't get lost.'

Remus nodded and pulled the map out, taking a moment to figure out where they were currently, before telling them to move off.

They wandered down a few streets before they came to a shop with music blaring at a much higher volume than any of the others. Glancing through the window, they saw the customers were mainly teens and younger adults, and they were all flicking through stacks of records.

'Muggle music,' Sirius said under his breath, and then louder, 'We're going in here.'

'I was just going to say the same thing,' James said.

Remus grimaced, but he still had a few days until the full moon; the loud music would be unpleasant, but not unbearable, so he followed the others through the door. It was even louder inside and Remus had to fight hard to not show his discomfort on his face.

'Pick out anything that looks interesting,' Sirius said into his ear. 'I want a big selection.'

So Remus did exactly that. He flicked through the records, pulling out any with interesting pictures on the front or names that caught his attention, and he soon had a small stack to show Sirius.

'Hey! Check this one out. It's called, The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. Sounds crazy. I'm getting it,' Sirius shouted. 'Ooh, there's a couple more here by the same guy. I'm going to get all of them.'

'This one's called School's out,' James said. 'Might be good to play at end of term parties?'

'Yeah, add it to the pile,' Sirius said.

'How are we going to play them?' Peter asked.

Remus glanced up from his task at the question. Peter had a point, the muggle records wouldn't work on a magical record player, the whole process was different.

'Let's pay and talk outside,' James said. 'It's too loud in here.'

The shop assistant raised his eyebrows at the contents of their basket. Whether because they were buying so much, or because the mix of music was odd, Remus wasn't certain, but his eyebrows shot into his hairline when Sirius asked him where they might be able to purchase a record player. Thinking about it, it was a bit strange to buy such a large amount of records when you had nothing to play them on.

They ended up in a store called Woolworths, which seemed to sell pretty much anything you might want, and they garnered a fair amount of odd looks as James and Sirius oohed and aahed over the muggle merchandise. They found a record player eventually, and Sirius also bought a selection of muggle sweets for them all to share after bedtime.

After hauling their bounty back to the Leaky cauldron, they only had to wait twenty minutes for James' parents to arrive and help them transport everything back through the floo.

-o-o-o-o-

'We need to start making some plans for next year,' James said when they were once again ensconced in his room after dinner. 'Did you get a chance to look through the journal, Remus?'

Sirius looked over at Remus. He was nodding with an excited look in his eyes as he pulled the monstrosity of a book from his bag. Only he could look that excited about a book that large, Sirius thought fondly.

'Yeah, it's actually brilliant,' Remus said. 'There are spells, potion recipes, step-by-step guides for all the games. Some of it dates back centuries.' He pushed his hair out of his face and opened the book, flicking through to a page near the beginning. 'Look, this is a ritual to cast a protection charm over a large area, it's used for the Creature Hunt.' He flicked through to a different page. 'And this is instructions for animating and controlling a suit of armour, for the Niffler Hunt.'

Remus just lit up when he was sharing knowledge; his whole body seemed to glow with an inner light. Sirius watched him showing the highlights of the book to James and hoped he'd get a chance to talk to him soon. He'd been trying to get him alone all day, but it had been impossible. Either James or Peter always came over to join them, frustrating him beyond belief.

'So we'll set up the Niffler Hunt for the end of September then, to kick the year off,' James was saying when Sirius tuned back into the conversation. 'You reckon you can brew this potion in four weeks, Pete?'

Peter took a look at the page James was showing him and nodded. 'Yeah, should only take a week.'

'Excellent,' James said. 'I want us to introduce something new for Halloween, though, so have a think.'

'Aren't you the Chief Imaginator?' Sirius asked. 'Ideas are supposed to be your job.'

'What about, like, a Halloween adventure story, all through the castle, with the Houses competing?' Peter suggested.

James rubbed his chin. 'That could be good. We'll need to figure out a scenario and find a spell the players can use to attack each other without causing harm.'

'Going to need the Hogwarts library for that,' Remus said.

'Alright, we'll work on that when we get back to school, then. There was something else I wanted to talk to you about.' James went over to his desk and picked up an article cut from the Daily Prophet. 'Look at this.'

The headline read Horrifying Murder at Hogwarts

Newly appointed Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Marcus Hawthorne was brutally murdered yesterday morning during a school-wide event which had the student population wandering the halls investigating a fake murder. One has to wonder what Headmaster Professor Dumbledore was thinking when he sanctioned such an event, especially during the current unrest. 'I've always considered a little fun to be good for children's welfare,' Dumbledore said when questioned. Considering this 'fun' ended with eight traumatised first-years discovering the body of their former teacher, which they at first believed to be a part of the event, perhaps Dumbledore should rethink whether this kind of fun is suitable in a school environment.

The ancient Kelpie, known as Emhio, that has lived in the school lake for over a hundred years has been arrested for the murder. It is understood that Emhio had been assisting Professor Hawthorne with his classes, and it is believed that the pressure became too much causing the kelpie to snap. The trial will not be held until the middle of next year due to a backlog of cases in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Professor Dumbledore is insisting on acting as the creature's defence when the time comes.

'We're going to investigate this, right?' Sirius said when he finished reading. 'The trial's not until next year, we have time.'

James grinned and nodded. 'The first thing we need to do is figure out how the real murderer got in. The aurors never searched because they immediately blamed Emhio, and it was obvious how she would have entered.'

'The entrance has to be in or near the classroom,' Remus said. 'We were there minutes after he was killed and we didn't see anyone pass us in the corridor.'

With the plan decided, they played another round of Merlin's Adventure before settling down to sleep.

Sirius lay awake, his stomach squirming with nerves, waiting for James and Peter to fall asleep. It didn't take long. Remus must have been waiting too, because he stood up the moment Sirius did and followed him into the ensuite bathroom.

Once the door was closed, Remus turned to face him. 'What is it?'

'It's…' Sirius started. He took a deep breath. 'It's about what I did at the station.'

'Don't worry about it.' Remus shrugged as if the whole thing was unimportant. 'You only did it to scare my dad. I know it's not natural for boys to do that together, and I'm not going to try to make you do it again or anything. You don't have to worry.'

Sirius' heart sank. That had not been what he wanted Remus to say. At all. He thought it was unnatural?

'Yeah. Good,' Sirius said, keeping his eyes on the floor. 'Glad we got that sorted. Good night, then.' He swept passed Remus and yanked the bathroom door open, almost running in his eagerness to reach his bed and hide his face under the covers. Remus didn't want him.

Sirius passed the night restlessly, and the next day he tried hard to swallow back his disappointment and put on his best happy face for Peter. They gave him his presents after breakfast; a used potions book from Remus; an array of interesting ingredients from Sirius and a set of gold-handled potion's tools from James, and then Effy had packed them a picnic lunch and sent them on their way. James was taking them to his favourite spot on their land for the day.

It was a fairly long walk through the woodland, but the undergrowth was nowhere near as thick as the Forbidden Forest and it was easy going. Despite the early hour, the sun was already well above the horizon and the air was warm against Sirius' skin, but the trees protected them from the worst of the heat.

'Can you hear that?' Remus asked suddenly.

'I can hear birds and insects,' Sirius said, trying to be his normal self despite his disappointment. 'You'll need to be more specific.'

'It's like a rumble.'

James grinned. 'Your ears are good! I can't hear it yet, but that's where we're going.'

'We're going somewhere that rumbles?' Sirius asked.

'You'll see.'

A few minutes later, Sirius' ears detected the sound Remus has mentioned and as they got closer, the noise grew louder, changing from a rumble to a roar. Soon he could feel the vibrations in the ground beneath his feet. The trees they were walking through thinned and the landscape ahead opened into a clearing backed by a sheer cliff face. At the base of the cliff was a large pool which narrowed into a river winding its way into the trees. The noise was caused by the river at the top of the cliff suddenly finding it had nowhere to go and cascading over the edge in a breathtaking waterfall.

'Wow,' Sirius said, hearing similar expressions of awe from Remus and Peter.

'Beautiful, isn't it?' James asked, dropping the picnic basket on the ground and pulling off his shirt. 'Who fancies a swim?'

Sirius forced his face into a grin he didn't feel and pulled off his own shirt, before starting on his boots. 'Is there any way up to the top?'

'I'm glad you asked. There is, but we have to go down the cliff a little way. I'll show you. You coming guys?'

Peter shook his head. 'I'm just gonna sit here for a bit. I'll swim later when it's warmer.'

'Yeah, me too,' Remus said. He was wearing long sleeves, even in the heat of August. It was a lightweight shirt rather than a jumper, but still. He must be baking.

James led Sirius into the trees to a part of the cliff that was less sheer and had decent foot and handholds.

'Reckon you can climb that?' James asked.

'Easy.' Sirius clambered up the rocks, his foot slipping a few times before he reached the top, and James followed him.

When they were both safely on solid ground, James put his hand on Sirius' shoulder and turned him to face him.

'So, I wanted to say, I know your excuse for not writing is bullshit, and if you want to talk about what really happened to you during the summer, I'm waiting to listen.'

Sirius froze. He had thought everyone believed him. 'James… I—'

'It's alright. You're allowed to have secrets. I just want you to know I'm here if you need me,' James said, thankfully cutting him off because he had no idea what he would have said.

James' words had caused a lump in Sirus' throat and he swallowed hard before nodding. James nodded back, before walking back along the cliff to the river. He approached the edge and peered down at the pool below.

'Ever jumped off a waterfall before?'

Sirius shook his head and grinned. 'No, but I'll try anything once.'

'Excellent,' James said, backing up. 'Meet you down there.' He ran full pelt to the edge of the cliff and leapt off with a whoop of sheer joy. As he fell, he tucked his knees into his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Sirius couldn't hear the splash over the roar of the waterfall, and he ran to the edge to make sure he was okay.

James waved up at him from the pool below, his face sporting a shit-eating grin, and shouted something Sirius couldn't hear before swimming over to the edge out of the way.

'Guess it's my turn then,' Sirius mumbled to himself. He took a few big steps backwards as James had done and gathered his courage. This wasn't like the beach room; there were no safety charms to catch him. 'Here goes nothing…'

Sirius bolted forwards and jumped, just about resisting the urge to close his eyes. Letting out a bark of laughter, he curled his body into a ball and hit the water with a splash, sinking like a stone. After a moment of panicked kicking, he broke the surface and gasped for breath.

'That was fucking brilliant!' he screamed over the roar of the waterfall.

'I knew you'd love it!' James screamed back.

Sirius rubbed the water from his eyes and glanced over to the bank, seeing Remus and Peter watching them with laughter in their eyes. The exhilaration of jumping from the cliff had blown his negative feelings from his mind and he swam over and clambered out onto the grass, dripping a trail of water as he covered the short distance to stand in front of Remus.

Grabbing his hands, Sirius attempted to pull him to his feet. 'Come on. You have to jump too. It's fantastic.'

'No, I don't think I do, actually,' Remus said, resisting Sirius' efforts with a stubbornness he usually reserved for avoiding quidditch games.

'Why not?' Sirius let go of his hands and took a step back. 'Will you at least come swimming?'

'No, It's… I don't want to walk back in wet clothes.'

'So, take them off?'

Remus looked down at his lap. 'You know why I don't want to do that.'

'The scars? But… Peter's potion? Didn't it work?'

'A little. Maybe?' Remus shrugged. 'I thought it was working at first, but it might have been wishful thinking. I don't know, some of the smaller ones faded a bit, I think.'

'Why didn't you tell me?' Peter asked. 'I would have tried again.'

'It was a present. You don't complain about presents. It's rude.'

Peter rolled his eyes. 'I'd rather you complained so I could try to fix it, than leave you with a present that's basically a useless bottle of goo.'

'It wasn't completely useless.' Remus looked up and offered Peter a cheeky smile. 'My skin's really soft now.'

Peter laughed. 'Moisturiser. I made bloody moisturiser.'

'Look, it's just us here. We don't care about your scars and you know we're not going to tease you or anything,' Sirius said. 'Can't you just—'

'What?' Remus asked. 'Get over it? No, Sirius, I'm sorry but it's not that simple.'

'That's not what I was going to say,' Sirius snapped.

'Hey, James!' Peter yelled, jumping to his feet and quickly stripping off his outer clothes. 'Show me how to get up to the top?'

'Sure.' James climbed out of the pool and disappeared into the trees with Peter.

'Subtle,' Remus said.

Sirius laughed and flopped onto the grass next to him.

'I can't let the others see the bite,' Remus said quietly. 'Or the other scars from that night. They're too obvious.'

'Because of the silver?'

Remus nodded.

'Where are they?'

'The bite is here,' Remus said, gripping his left arm near the shoulder in an imitation of jaws. 'It dragged me out of the window by my arm. The other scars stretch from here,' he pointed to his chest, just below the collar of his shirt, 'to here,' he pointed to his stomach. 'It's not pretty.'

Sirius ignored that. 'So not on your legs then?'

Remus frowned. 'No. Why?'

'What if you swim in your shirt and then change into mine to walk back?'

'That… Could work,' Remus said, slowly.

Sirius grinned in triumph and jumped to his feet. 'Excellent. Come on then, Wolf Boy, get those trousers off.'

Remus chuckled. 'I thought you'd forgotten that name.'

'Not a chance. Just haven't had a chance to use it since we arrived.'

When Remus had finished folding his trousers neatly, Sirius dragged him through the trees and up to the cliff. Remus was reluctant to jump at first but it didn't take much to persuade him and after the first time, he couldn't wait to go again.

By the time their dripping wet clambering had turned the cliff face into an unclimbable mudslide, they had all worked up an appetite and they tucked into the picnic lunch with enthusiasm, sitting on the bank of the river in their pants (and shirt in Remus' case).

Remus' concerns about walking back in wet clothes proved unnecessary. The sun's rays were so warm that they were all bone dry before they'd even finished eating. Too full after lunch to swim, they lay back on the grass and talked until the sun was low in the sky and they realised they needed to head home.

With his friends surrounding him in a protective circle again, Sirius slept through until morning with no nightmares disturbing him. They took it in turns to use the bathroom and when no one was looking, Sirius tucked the t-shirt he'd worn the night before into Remus' bag. Hopefully, it would still carry his scent when the next full moon came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the official end of first-year. There's going to be a bit of a break in updates now while I plan out second-year, and with the schools closed until at least March, it may take me a while in between homeschooling my kids and studying for uni. Thanks for all your support :)


	44. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first scene of this chapter is a one-off from Reggie's point of view, I hope you enjoy it :)

**Second-Year**

Friday, 1st September 1972

Regulus huffed out an annoyed breath as the whistle sounded and the floor beneath his feet lurched. Mother had kept him on the platform until the last possible moment, and now the train was setting off before he'd even reached his seat. The last compartment right at the back of the train, Siri had told him—sporting the grin that always got him into trouble with Mother—furthest from the prefects.

Mother had forbidden him from travelling with Sirius and his friends, of course, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her, and there were no close relatives left at Hogwarts to report on him now that Narcissa had elected to skip her NEWTs.

Reaching the last door at the back of the train, Regulus peeked inside. He was a little nervous about meeting his brother's friends if he were honest with himself. These people were important to Siri. So important, he'd endured weeks of punishment to keep them in his life. Remembering the sound of Sirius' screams when he'd entered the kitchen for a snack near the beginning of the holiday, Regulus shuddered. He'd avoided the kitchen for the rest of the summer. With a shake of his head, he pushed the memories away.

The point was, he wanted them to like him.

Sirius was closest to the door, but he had his back to it. The other three occupants—all boys, one with dark, messy hair and glasses, one plump and blonde and the last with long curly hair and a tired look to his eyes—were all listening to whatever his brother was saying with serious faces.

The boy with long hair glanced at the door and spotted him. His face morphed into a welcoming smile and he nodded towards the door. Suddenly, all four of them were looking at him and Regulus felt his face warm at the attention.

Sirius reached over and slid the door open. 'You made it! Come in, come in. James, grab his trunk, would you?'

'Oh, that's okay, I can manage,' Regulus said.

The boy with glasses grinned and climbed to his feet. 'Go on, sit down. I'll get it.'

'Alright, um, thank you.' Regulus moved into the compartment and Sirius slid closer to the curly-haired boy so he could sit beside him.

'Hi, I'm Peter,' the blonde boy said. 'It's great to meet you.'

'Sirius talks about you all the time,' the curly-haired boy said. 'I'm Remus.'

'And I'm James,' the boy with glasses said, turning back to him and holding out his hand to shake after stowing Regulus' trunk with the others. Regulus shook his hand. If this was James Potter, then the other two must be the mudbloods his mother was so furious about. They didn't seem stupid, dirty or ill-mannered. Well, maybe the last one; they hadn't shaken his hand after all.

'It's a pleasure to meet you all,' Regulus said, wanting to make a good first impression.

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'You don't have to act like you're at one of Mother's parties, Reggie.'

Regulus felt his face warm again and ducked his head. He'd messed up already.

There was a moment of silence and then Remus leant forward so Regulus could see him. 'Are you excited? I was so nervous on my first day, mostly because I didn't know what was going to happen. Has Sirius told you anything?'

Regulus glanced at his brother. Hadn't he told them they were kept away from each other all summer? Sirius frowned and gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head. No, then. They didn't know what Sirius had suffered for them. Maybe they weren't as close as he'd thought.

'Not really, no,' Regulus said. 'He wants it to be a surprise, apparently.'

'Do you want to know?' James asked.

'It would help to settle my nerves, I think.'

To Regulus' shock, Remus slapped Sirius' leg. 'I can't believe you'd let your brother be nervous and not tell him anything. Not cool, Sirius.'

Even more shocking, Sirius just laughed. 'That's what big brothers are for. You poor only children just don't understand sibling relationships.'

'Well, _we're_ going to tell him everything,' James said. 'And there's nothing you can do to stop us.' He turned to Regulus. 'When we get there, you'll—'

James was cut off when Sirius launched himself across the compartment at James and smothered him with his hand. Though he continued trying to talk through it, his voice was too muffled to understand. Regulus let out a nervous laugh, but Remus and Peter seemed unbothered by this turn of events.

'You'll cross the lake in boats, is what James was going to say,' Remus said.

'Remus! What betrayal is this?' Sirius cried. 'Ew, James, gross. I can't believe you licked me!' He wiped his hand on his robes and glared down at James.

'And when you reach the castle—' James said. Sirius wrestled him to the floor and attempted to silence him again, but James managed to wriggle out from beneath him and gasped out, '—you put on the sorting hat and it tells you what House you'll be in!'

Remus and Peter were both laughing now, Sirius was glaring at James and he was grinning back. Regulus wasn't sure how to react.

Remus must have seen something in his expression because he leaned over and said, 'Hey, don't worry, they're always like this.'

Sirius heard him and jumped up, laughing. 'Yeah, I'm not really mad.'

'Which House do you think you'll be in?' James asked. As if nothing odd had occurred, he climbed to his feet and dusted off his weird, muggle clothes—gold trousers with ridiculously wide legs and a crimson, satin shirt.

'Slytherin, I expect.'

'You could go somewhere else,' Sirius said. 'You just have to ask the hat.'

'Is that what you did?'

Sirius nodded. 'Ask to be in Gryffindor with me.'

Regulus met Sirius' gaze and held it for a moment before he looked away. 'I'll think about it.'

And he did. For the rest of the journey, he thought about it. While they played exploding snap, he considered how furious Mother would be if he was placed in Gryffindor too, and as they changed into their school robes, he wondered if Mother's anger or Sirius' disappointment would hurt more. He was still undecided on which course of action to take when they arrived at the station and merely smiled when Sirius said goodbye and promised to save him a seat at the Gryffindor table.

As Remus had promised, he and the other first-years travelled to the castle by boat. It was drizzling, and he was damp and uncomfortable by the time they reached the other side of the lake. The two boys and one girl he shared a boat with were nice enough, but he didn't want to form any attachments to anyone until after the sorting, so he kept to himself.

They were shown into a small room by the giant man called Hagrid and then lectured by Professor McGonagall. Sirius had said she was nice, but she seemed rather stern to Regulus. Glancing around the Hall as they walked in, he spotted Sirius and his friends at the table beneath the Gryffindor banner—the rowdiest table in the room. All four of them smiled and waved to him; he would have immediate friends if he chose Gryffindor.

He turned his head to look at the other side of the Hall where the Slytherins sat wearing the familiar green and silver that adorned almost everything in his home. Hardly any of them were smiling. Or even talking amongst themselves.

He finally made his choice as the hat was placed on his head.

'Hmm, what do we have here, then? Another Black, hmm?' The Hat's voice echoed inside his head.

Please, I want to be in Gryffindor with my brother, Regulus thought, concentrating hard.

'Well, that seems like a brave choice, doesn't it?' the hat said. 'Your parents would be quite cross, hmm? But I can see you're making this request out of fear, and that's not brave at all.'

No, you're wrong, my parents will be furious but I don't care, I want to be in Gryffindor.

'You're more afraid of disappointing your brother than upsetting your parents, you think he would punish you more harshly than they. That's a cunning choice, not a brave one. SLYTHERIN!' The hat screamed the last word out loud, and Regulus pulled it off in shock. Sirius had promised the hat would listen, but it hadn't. And it had implied he was a coward.

He couldn't even look at Sirius as he threw the hat back on the stool and headed for the Slytherin table. He wasn't a coward. And he would prove it. Somehow.

-o-o-o-o-

'SLYTHERIN!' the Sorting Hat called, and Remus watched Sirius as he visibly deflated in his seat. He'd been tense since they left the train and only became more so when his brother's name was called. Now it seemed as if all the life had been sucked out of him.

'He didn't do it,' Sirius whispered. 'I was so sure he was going to ask, but he didn't.'

Remus felt for Sirius' hand under the cover of the table and squeezed it. 'He's still your brother. Him being in Slytherin doesn't have to change anything.'

'They'll corrupt him,' Sirius said, nodding his head towards the Slytherin table. 'Look, they've started already.'

Remus followed his gaze, James and Peter both turning their heads to look too, and saw Regulus had the attention of several older Slytherins.

'They're probably just welcoming him to the school,' James said, turning back to their table. 'It'll be fine. We'll go find him tomorrow and show him around. Let him know he can still hang around with us, alright?'

Sirius nodded, but he still didn't look happy. He kept hold of Remus' hand, though, and Remus let him; he wasn't going to take it away if it was helping.

When the sorting was over, Dumbledore stood up and the low-level of chatter that had been ongoing throughout the sorting immediately silenced as all heads in the hall turned to face him.

'Welcome to all our new students!' Dumbledore smiled out at the rapt audience. 'And to those returning for another year, welcome back! Now, I'm sure you're all dying to avail yourselves of the delicious feast that has no doubt been prepared for us, but I have a couple of notices which I must impart before you are all too befuddled by the pleasures of food and good company. First, the east wing dungeon corridor is out of bounds until further notice, anyone caught trespassing in that part of the school will find all their free time inexplicably taken up by cleaning duties for the rest of the year.'

The Marauders all glanced at each other, that corridor held their old Defence classroom; it could not be a coincidence.

'Second,' Dumbledore continued. 'I'd like you all to give a warm welcome to our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Tenebris.'

As the students broke out into warm applause, Remus looked down the teacher's table and spotted the new face among the familiar. She had long hair that was so light it was almost white and it shimmered in the candlelight. Her skin was equally pale, but it only added to her beauty. Gazing at her as she waved hello to the students, Remus felt a shiver of revulsion run down his spine and all the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.

He tore his eyes away and returned his attention to Sirius just as the plates filled with food. Sirius squeezed his hand and let go; they would both need them free to eat.

Despite Sirius' insistence on hanging around outside the Great Hall for the first-years to be led out by the prefects, they weren't able to reach Regulus among the throng of Slytherins and so they were forced to wait until morning to speak to him.

When they reached their dormitory (one floor further up the tower than the previous year), Sirius stomped over to his bed and fell onto it face first. He then screamed into the mattress.

Remus, James and Peter all exchanged glances and shrugs and head jerks, attempting to silently encourage each other to take the lead. Finally, Peter sighed and approached the potentially dangerous being lying prone on Sirius' bed.

'Um. You alright, mate?'

Sirius huffed, rolled over and sat up in a ridiculously graceful move that no human being had the right to be able to achieve.

'No, Peter,' he said, his voice calm and exceedingly posh—a clear sign he was upset. 'I am not "alright." I am the opposite of "alright." Allow me to explain to you why. My baby brother, whom I care a great deal for, is alone in the den of snakes and there's not a damn thing I can do about it!' Sirius' voice went from calm to shouting by the end of his miniature speech, and Remus winced.

Cosmo chose that moment to jump down from her position on the windowsill, saunter over and leap into Sirus' lap, nuzzling his hand until he gave in and stroked her, at which point she began to purr loudly and curled up into a ball.

'Why didn't he ask?' Sirus asked quietly after a moment.

'Maybe he's just not as brave as you?' Remus suggested. 'Your parents have given you a pretty hard time about it. He was probably afraid of getting the same treatment.'

'But he knows I'd protect him.'

'And get yourself into more trouble in the process?' James said. 'Maybe he didn't want to be responsible for that.'

Sirius was silent for a full minute, looking down at Cosmo while he scratched her behind the ears. Remus was on the verge of leaving him to his thoughts when he finally spoke again. 'What if he turns against me like the rest of them?'

James immediately sat beside him on the bed and put an arm around his back. 'You'll always have us, mate.'

Sirius allowed his head to fall onto James' shoulder. 'I know,' was all he said.

Remus and Peter retreated to their own beds to unpack, leaving James (and Cosmo) to comfort Sirius, and the next time Remus looked up, James was sorting through his own trunk and Sirius was sitting back against the headboard writing in his journal. Remus smiled; that was good. The journal would help him sort through his feelings. Remus returned to his task, sorting his books into three piles—school texts, further study texts and pleasure reading—before stacking them on his desk. When he turned around, he almost jumped out of his skin; Sirius was standing inches away from him.

'Merlin's saggy underpants! Don't sneak up on me like that!'

Sirius grinned. 'Sorry, Nerd Boy. Wanted to ask if I can borrow Reika? I've written to Andy like you said I should.'

The sound of the nickname had Remus let out a relieved breath; Sirius was back to normal. 'Yeah, of course. You want to sneak down to the owlery tonight, or wait until morning?'

'Tonight, obviously.'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'Yes, how stupid of me, why do something during legal hours when one could break the rules?'

'Now you're getting it.' Sirius spun around on his heel. 'Can we borrow the cloak?'

James looked up from stuffing his underpants into a drawer. 'Course. Should be at the top of my trunk.'

Sirius walked over and pulled it out, waving it in the air triumphantly. 'Ready?'

After Sirius had tucked the cloak into the inside pocket of his robes, they left the dorm and strolled through the common room as if they were doing nothing wrong—Remus found if you behaved as if you were allowed to do something, people took far less notice of your wrongdoing—and made it out of the portrait hole without a hitch. They dashed around the nearest corner before donning the cloak. It wouldn't do for the Fat Lady to see. Although she wouldn't tell unless specifically asked, it was a risk not worth taking.

'So, how was your summer?' Sirius asked as they crept down the Grand Staircase.

'I already told you everything at James' and on the train.'

'No, you told me the James and Peter friendly version. You know what I'm asking. Don't act stupid. It doesn't suit you.'

'Oh,' Remus said, only then realising what he wanted to know. 'It was actually fine. Mum wrote to Dumbledore to ask for help and he sent two people to build something for me. You'll never guess who it was.'

'Who?'

'Fab and Gid.'

'No fucking way?'

Sirius was staring at him under the cloak, his face was deadly serious when he asked, 'Were they… alright?'

'They weren't prejudiced dickheads, if that's what you're asking.'

'You know that's what I'm asking.'

'And what exactly would you do if they had been?' Remus asked with a chuckle. 'You've had one year of schooling and they've graduated.'

'I would… write them a very angry letter,' Sirius said with a firm nod.

Remus snorted. 'The gesture is appreciated, but not necessary. They were great, actually. Not as great as you,' he hastened to add when Sirius frowned at him. The addition made him grin. 'but they were really nice about it. Promised not to tell anyone.'

'Did Moony like the new…' Sirius waved his hand in the air, trying to find a word.

'Lunar Lodge,' Remus said. 'That's what they named it.'

'They're good sorts,' Sirius said, nodding with approval.

'And yes, he liked it. It's this huge monstrosity of a thing. They built it with logs so it smells all natural. The floor's dirt and they filled it with plants and stuff. The first month, he dug a massive hole in the ground and I woke up the next morning covered in mud.'

Sirius laughed. 'Brilliant! I wish I'd seen that. I bet you looked adorable.'

'Yes, well,' Remus said. 'The second month, he'd thankfully given up on the idea of digging his way out. Not sure what he got up to, but I wasn't hurt. Nor the third one either. Thanks for the shirt, by the way, that really helped.' He smiled at Sirius.

'You're welcome. I was worried the scent might wear off before the moon. I'm glad it didn't.'

Remus blushed. 'No, it was still strong.'

'You're blushing. Why are you blushing?' Sirius' voice was gleeful. 'You put it on, didn't you?'

Remus refused to look at him.

'You did, I can tell. Did you wear it all day?'

'I don't know why you're making this into a thing,' Remus said, trying very hard to keep a hold on his dignity. 'Yes, I wore it. Are you happy?'

'Delighted,' Sirius confirmed. 'And I'm making it into a thing, as you put it, because I found another way I can help you. You can wear my t-shirt under your school robes when you're feeling moon-sick.'

Remus found he couldn't respond for a moment. He had thought Sirius was making fun of him, but he hadn't been at all. It wasn't the first time he'd misread Sirius' motives; he really should stop jumping to conclusions.

'That… would be amazing. Thank you,' he said finally. Sirius beamed at him.

-o-o-o-o-

_Sirius was back in the cellar of Grimmauld Place, chained to the wall, burning. And screaming._

' _Obey!' his mother screeched at him._

' _No!' Sirius screamed back._

' _Promise to cut ties with the mudbloods, or I'll increase the heat!'_

' _No, please, don't,' Sirius sobbed._

' _Say you'll obey!'_

' _Never!'_

' _Then so be it. Remember, you asked for this.'_

_The heat against his feet flamed hotter and Sirius screamed again._

' _Wake up, Sirius.'_

_He knew that voice. Sirius looked up and saw him hovering in the corner of the room, staring at him with sad eyes._

' _Wake up.'_

' _Moony, help me, please!' he begged._

_The figure in the corner of the room nodded at him, 'Wake up, it's just a dream,' he said, before arching his back and morphing into a wolf. The creature bared its teeth and pounced on his mother, ripping her to shreds with its claws as she continued to berate him._

Sirius sat up in bed, gasping for breath. Someone was stroking his hair; it felt nice.

'It was just a dream,' Remus said. 'You're okay now. Safe.'

'I'm always safe with you, Moonbeam,' Sirius whispered. 'Will you stay with me?'

'Of course.' Remus laid down next to him, and Sirius lifted his arm so Remus could snuggle up against his chest.

'Do you want to talk about it?'

Sirius shuddered. 'No.'

'Alright. Night, Sirius.'

'Night, Moonbeam.'

With his nose buried in Remus' hair, Sirius fell back to sleep quickly and didn't wake again until James yanked his bed curtains back in the morning.

'Hey, have you seen… Never mind,' James said. He looked over his shoulder. 'He's in Sirius' bed.'

'What's he doing there?' Peter asked, joining James in ogling them.

James shrugged. 'Beats me.'

'I had a nightmare, alright?'

James scratched the back of his neck and then pushed his glasses up his nose. 'Huh, sorry, mate. I guess I slept through it.'

'Don't worry about it,' Remus said, lifting his head from Sirius' chest and yawning. 'It was about time I took a turn, really.'

'Is sleeping with me such a hardship?' Sirius asked, feeling more than a little insulted.

'Well, you do get a bit clingy sometimes,' James said.

'You kick too,' Peter agreed.

'I didn't mind it,' Remus said.

'Well, you're Sirius' designated teddy bear then,' James said. 'Don't see why Pete and I should suffer if you enjoy being suffocated by him.'

When Remus shrugged and agreed to that arrangement, Sirius' stomach did a backflip, which was entirely because Remus was the best at keeping away the nightmares and not because he really liked cuddling with him and might, maybe, want to kiss him again. Because Sirius Black was not gay and did not want to kiss Remus Lupin. It had all been a big misunderstanding, he reminded himself for the hundredth time. He had just needed something to get him through the summer and thinking about Remus had worked. But that was over now, and he didn't need it anymore. He liked girls. And Remus thought it was unnatural, anyway.

'We should get going if you still want to catch Reg at breakfast,' James said, startling Sirius out of his thoughts. Realising Remus had already left, and he hadn't even noticed, he climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

Half an hour later, they were sitting in their usual spot in the Great Hall, dining on eggs and bacon, and watching for Regulus to appear.

'I assume we're not letting the little threat of never-ending detention get in the way of our plans?' James asked, a contagious glint of mischief in his eyes.

'My dear James, that just makes the adventure all the more enticing,' Sirius said.

James grinned. 'That's what I thought.'

'There may be obstacles,' Remus said.

'What's your point?'

'I was wondering if I could rig up something to help, like the snitch-o-scopes, but to detect enchantments.'

'Brilliant,' James said. 'You had me worried there for a moment. I thought your Marauder heart had failed you.'

'You should have more faith in me, James.'

'Quite right, please take this apple as a token of my apology,' James said, handing Remus the fruit, before turning to Peter. 'Pete, my man, how goes the planning for the potion?'

Peter hastily swallowed the food in his mouth before answering. 'We'll need to pick up a couple of things from Hogsmeade, but I thought we should check the den first, see what's there?'

'Good thinking. We'll do that after Sirius speaks to Reg. Speaking of, is he here yet?'

'He came in five minutes ago,' Sirius said. 'He's sitting at the end, next to Snivellus.'

James whipped his head around to look. 'No! What's that ugly git think he's doing?'

'Getting revenge, I imagine,' Sirius said through gritted teeth. The bastard was trying to take his brother away from him, and he wasn't going to let him get away with it.

'So we'll be adding "show Snivellus the error of his ways" to the to-do list then,' James said.

'Ah, you know me so well, James.'

As soon as they were finished eating, they left the Hall and hung around outside waiting for Regulus. When he emerged, he was thankfully alone.

'Reggie!' Sirius called, beckoning him over when he turned at the sound of his name.

'What do you want, Sirius?' Regulus asked, ignoring the others.

'What happened?'

Regulus didn't even pretend not to know what he was talking about. 'I was placed where I'm supposed to be.'

'What the hell does that mean, Reggie? Why didn't you ask to be with me?'

'Perhaps I just wasn't brave enough, brother. I have to go, don't speak to me again unless it's important. I'm being watched.' With that, he spun on his heel and disappeared down the dungeon staircase before Sirius could even blink.

'Being watched by who?' Sirius asked, not really expecting an answer.

'The other Slytherins I expect,' Remus said. 'They'll give him a hard time if they see him with you because you hang around with mudbloods.'

'Don't call yourself that,' Sirius snapped. He stood there for a moment, staring angrily at the point where his brother had disappeared, before suddenly bursting to life again and marching towards the stairs. 'Let's go to the den.' He needed a distraction from the pain of his breaking heart.

James pulled the penknife from his pocket when they reached the black door and slid it into the gap between the door and the frame, running it down past the latch. There was a quiet click, and the door cracked open. James led the way inside, the others following closely with Sirius at the back. He closed the door behind them, before looking around.

The room looked a lot different from the last time they'd been there. The desks were clear of papers and the quill holders on the top were empty. There were no plans or diagrams on the blackboards, and the lab area was clean. A few ingredients were still stored in vials and jars, and there was a generous amount of polyjuice, but not much else.

'Wow, they really cleared this place out before they left,' Peter said, already rooting through the store cupboard. 'They left most of what we need for the potion to animate the suit of armour, though. We'll just have to collect some daisies, they have to be freshly picked on the full moon. I'll check when it is.'

'Three weeks,' Remus said, flicking absently through a book he'd found in one of the desk drawers. Sirius glanced at James and Peter. James was frowning at Remus, but Peter looked completely unsurprised that Remus would know such a random fact off the top of his head. No one said anything for a moment. The silence made Remus look up from his book, and then he must have realised what he'd said because he rushed to explain. 'I saw it last weekend.'

'That's a pain,' Peter said. 'It's one of the last ingredients, so we can start the potion before we have it, but I'll have to time it just right.'

'We have every faith in you,' James said, slapping him on the back. 'Could use some decoration in here, though. Sirius, what do you think?'

Sirius eyed the walls with interest. 'It could definitely use some colour. I'll see what I can come up with.'

'Well, if I'm not needed here, I'm going to head to the library and see what I can do about making a magic detector,' Remus said.

Sirius watched him leave and then, realising he was watching, he purposefully looked away. 'Do you need me to do anything for the Niffler hunt or do you want me to get started on designs for this room?' he asked James.

'Draw up some designs. I can't bear to spend time in such a plain space.'

'What are you going to do?'

James' eyes grew several shades darker and Sirius shivered. 'I'll be making plans for our dear friend, Snivellus.'


	45. Chapter 44

Monday, 4th September 1972

With so much to do, the weekend had sped by and much sooner than Remus thought possible it was Monday, and time for classes to begin. He'd been dismayed at breakfast, on receiving his timetable, to find he would have to suffer through double potions that afternoon, but before that nightmare began they had Charms, followed by their first Defence lesson with Professor Tenebris.

'What do you think she'll be like?' James asked as they approached the second-floor where the new classroom was located.

'No idea, I just hope we learn some offensive spells this year,' Sirius said. 'Magical creatures are interesting enough, but it's not very practical, is it? I mean, realistically speaking, how likely are we to ever fight a dragon?'

'Us in particular?' Peter asked. 'Or people in general? Because those are two very different answers.'

Sirius snorted. 'You may have a point there.'

'I liked Professor Hawthorne's classes,' Remus said. His voice came out sounding a little more annoyed than he intended.

'We all did,' Sirius said, frowning. 'I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry.'

Remus sighed. 'Yeah, I know you didn't. It's just having Defence without him. Feels kind of weird, you know? It's making me grouchy.'

'I'm just trying not to think about it, to be honest,' James said. Remus glanced up at him. His face looked a little pale, and Remus felt guilty for reminding him. James had spent the most time looking at the body out of all of them, convinced as he was that it was fake.

'Sorry. I'll stop talking about it.'

James nodded in thanks. 'Let's get this over with then.'

Only then did Remus realise they'd reached the classroom. It looked a lot different from the previous space. It was above ground for starters, so sunlight streamed in through the many windows to the left of the door and bounced off the mirrored glass which lined the wall opposite, making the room feel much larger than it really was. There were no desks or chairs in the room and the students that had already arrived were milling around a little confused as to what they were supposed to be doing.

'Well, this looks very promising,' Sirius said, gazing around.

James grinned. 'I'm very much liking the lack of studying apparatus.'

At the back of the room was a short staircase leading to a closed door, behind which, Remus assumed, the Professor's office was located. His assumption was confirmed when a moment later the door opened and Professor Tenebris descended the stairs wearing a skin-tight suit in deep purple, her white-blonde hair flowing loose around her shoulders. Remus felt that same shudder run down his spine again.

When she reached the bottom, she stood calmly, waiting for the students to give her their attention. It only took a few seconds before the room was silent.

'Welcome, all of you. My name is Professor Tenebris, and this year I'll be teaching you all how to duel.'

At that announcement, a ripple of excitement passed through the room.

'But first, we must of course take the register.'

She worked quickly through their names but glanced up after each one to see which student responded. Remus may have imagined it, but he thought he detected the smallest of sneers cross her face when he answered his own name. Was she going to be prejudiced? Is that why he was sensing something off about her?

'Now,' she said when the register was over. 'Before we begin casting spells at each other, we must learn the proper form. There are many different stances in duelling, but today we'll be concentrating on a few of the most effective defensive poses.'

She had them all line up in front of the mirrored wall with their wands out and practice various defensive stances designed for casting, deflecting, dodging and ducking. She demonstrated each stance herself, explaining its main uses, and both its strengths and weaknesses before asking them to copy her. This explained the skin-tight outfit; it would have been difficult for them to mimic the position of her legs if she was wearing traditional duelling robes.

James and Sirius seemed to be having a great time, messing about and striking silly poses in between practising, but Remus wasn't as keen on paying so much attention to his own image in the glass, and when he glanced at Peter, he thought he might be feeling similarly.

At the end of the lesson, Professor Tenebris clapped her hands together. 'Great job everyone, Next lesson, we'll be learning the shield charm, protego, so I'd like you all to practice these poses for homework, particularly the defensive casting stance. Enjoy your lunch.'

The class began to collect their bags from under the windows when the Professor spoke again. 'Oh. Mister Lupin, would you just wait a moment, please?'

Remus shrugged at his friends' questioning looks and asked them to save him a seat in the Great Hall, before grabbing his things and walking over to the front of the room. Professor Tenebris waited for the rest of the class to file out before turning to him.

'I've been informed of your… affliction,' she said. 'I hope you aren't expecting special treatment because you will get none from me. You'll be expected to have your homework done to the same deadline as everyone else and to make up the work from any classes you have to miss in your own time.'

Since Remus was already doing exactly that for all his other classes, he wasn't particularly bothered by the content of her speech, but her tone made him bristle. 'I do not, and never have expected special treatment,' he said. 'And I think you'll find my work more than satisfactory despite my affliction, as you put it.'

'Five points from Gryffindor for your rudeness, Mister Lupin. Perhaps you should remember who you're speaking to.'

Remus had to bite his tongue to keep his temper from exploding. That wasn't even fair; she'd provoked him! Points are a meaningless tool used to control, he told himself, repeating James' favourite reasoning whenever they lost more points in a single day than Gryffindor had earned all week. It didn't really help much, though. He wasn't upset about the points; he was upset about the unfairness of her punishing him at all.

She let him leave after thoroughly upsetting him, and Remus stormed from the room and felt a wave of relief when he found Sirius leaning up against the wall right outside, waiting for him.

'Hey Moonbeam,' he said, pushing himself off the wall to walk beside him. 'James and Pete went to grab our spot. What was that about?'

Remus shrugged but avoided looking at Sirius. 'The usual. You know—' He glanced around to make sure there was no one nearby. '—just because you turn into a bloodthirsty monster once a month, don't go thinking you can hand your homework in late.'

Sirius scowled at him. 'Okay, one, Moony is not a bloodthirsty monster. Moony is a puppy dog. And two, did she say that? Cause if she did—'

'You'll what? Duel the duelling teacher?' Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

'I was going to say I'd speak to Dumbledore, but if you want to watch me duelling, I could do that.'

Remus laughed. 'It's fine. She didn't say anything awful, really. She called it my "affliction".'

'Well, that's… I guess she was trying to be polite.'

Remus didn't really think that was the case, but he didn't want to make a fuss. When he turned seventeen, his details on the werewolf registry would be made public, so he'd better get used to people being rude when they learned what he was.

'Yeah, at least she tried,' he said.

Potions class was uneventful. They weren't brewing today, just learning the properties of new ingredients. But the smells from the previous class hung around in the air, so Remus tried not to breathe too much, and only through his mouth.

Since they were already in the dungeon, they took the opportunity when class ended to meander down to the old Defence classroom but found their way blocked by a new door that had definitely not been there the year before.

'Should have known they wouldn't just make it out of bounds and expect us to obey,' James said, frowning.

'It's probably alarmed too,' Remus said, letting his hand hover close to the wood. The energy in the door was hot, and it crashed through him like a wave on a stormy day. He pulled his hand back quickly with a gasp. 'Yeah, there's definitely something protecting it. Something strong.'

'Right, so best not attempt to open it just yet then,' James said. 'How's the detector coming along?'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'I've barely started. It's not exactly simple.'

'How long do you think?'

'A few weeks at least.'

James sighed, but it sounded more disappointed than annoyed. 'Back to the dorm, then?'

They congregated on the floor in the middle of the room. James, Peter and Remus all sat with their backs up against the foot of their beds but Sirius, in his characteristic disregard for conventionality, decided to instead drape himself across the floor with his head in Remus' lap. Much to his surprise, Remus found he didn't much mind and proceeded to run his fingers through Sirius' hair while they talked.

'The Niffler Hunt will have to be the last weekend of the month since the full moon isn't until the 23rd,' Peter said. 'I've worked out a brewing schedule, we'll need to start on the 16th.'

James was noting the dates down in their newly purchased Marauder Journal as Peter spoke. The notebook they'd been using the previous year was far too small for the purpose, and James had spent a large portion of his pocket money over the summer on a self-expanding journal. New pages would materialise as needed until the magic wore out, and it was guaranteed for at least 5000 pages. The new book was dark red with Marauder's journal written across the front in swirly gold lettering.

'Great, that gives us two weeks to organise everything else. We need a list of items people need to find and posters to announce the event,' James said.

Sirius stuck his hand in the air. 'I can do posters.'

James nodded and wrote something in the book.

'Pete and I can work out a list,' Remus said. 'Include some obscure muggle stuff and whatnot. From looking through Fab and Gids journal, its only the low point items that change each year, The high value ones only change if the teachers do.'

'Thank Merlin for that,' James said. He wrote something else in the journal and looked up. 'How're the designs for the Den coming along?'

Sirius sat up and crawled over to his desk, grabbed a few sheets of parchment off the top and crawled back over to hand them to James, before resuming his spot next to Remus. After settling his head back in Remus' lap, he grabbed Remus' hand and placed it on his head. Remus chuckled and resumed stroking him. The nickname he had given Sirius in his full moon letter couldn't be more apt.

'I can do more if you don't like any of those,' Sirius said after James had looked at them all and not said a word.

'No. No, these are great. I'm just struggling to decide which one I like the most.'

'Can I see?' Peter asked.

James shuffled over to him so he could look too.

'Oh, I like this one, with the vines.'

'Yeah, me too. But don't you think this one is more suited to the purpose of the room?' James held up one of the sheets.

Peter nodded thoughtfully. 'I can see your point. You don't think it's a bit cheesy, though?'

'Hm. Maybe,' James put the sheet to one side and held up the third one. 'What about this one? I like all the colour.'

'Might give us a headache if we're in there a long time, though.'

'True, true. So the vines then?'

Peter nodded.

'Don't I get a say in this?' Remus asked.

James laughed. 'Depends if you can escape from Sirius' clutches and make it over here.'

Remus glanced down at Sirius, who grinned at him, then looked back at James. 'That doesn't seem likely. Can't you bring them over here?'

'Urgh, fine. But only because Sirius looks so comfortable.' James crawled forward and handed the papers to Sirius, who handed them to Remus with a smug grin on his face.

The topmost paper showed the Den, the walls alive with swirling colours. It was mesmerising, but Remus could see how it might become nauseating after a while. The next showed the Den again, but this time each wall was painted the colours of one of the houses with its animal mascot and a banner showing the main traits of the house. While the animals were beautifully rendered and the style suited to the room's usage, it was, as Peter said, "a little cheesy." The third picture, though, took Remus' breath away.

The walls of the Den were hidden behind snaking vines in black, bronze, silver and gold, bursting with life. Crimson, emerald, yellow and blue flowers covered every inch of them and there were so many different varieties that Remus struggled to find two alike.

'This is beautiful. You really think you can do this?'

Sirius put on a suitably wounded expression and clutched at his chest. 'I can't believe you would doubt me. I'm devastated, Remus. It's like a dagger through my heart.'

'Remus, how could you?' Peter said, laughing. 'You know his ego can't take anyone questioning his abilities.'

'I only meant, it looks like a lot of work.'

'Are you questioning my stamina?' Sirius asked him, quirking an eyebrow. ''Cause I'll have you know my energy levels are unsurpassed. You can test me if you like?'

Remus flushed. 'No, I think you'd be far too energetic for me. Sleep seems far more appealing.'

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows. 'One day, you'll get bored with sleeping so much, Nerd Boy. And I'll be waiting.'

James snorted. 'Alright, give him a break before he passes out from all the blood rushing to his cheeks.'

Remus ignored James' interruption; he wasn't going to let Sirius get the better of him this time. 'I hope you enjoy waiting then, Sirius, because if I get bored with sleeping I still have a lot of books I can read before I'll be bored enough to take you up on your offer.'

Sirius laughed. 'So what you're saying is, I need to burn all the books?'

'What? No! How on earth did you reach that conclusion?'

Remus' horror only made Sirius laugh harder. 'Merlin, your face!' Sirius reached up and patted Remus' cheek. 'Don't worry, my little Nerd Boy, I promise not to harm the books.'

Remus scowled at him. 'You better not.'

'If you two are finished?' James said. His grin morphed into an evil smirk. 'We need to discuss my plans for Snivellus.'

Several hours later, Remus dumped a pile of books onto the library table and scraped the chair back to sit down. He was beginning to regret his suggestion of manufacturing a magic detector. It was turning out to be a lot more complex than he'd anticipated, and they already knew the door was likely to be warded. Did they really need something to tell them what it was warded with? But James was so excited by the idea, and he didn't want to let him down. Even if he didn't have any real idea where to even start.

Remus let out a heavy sigh and pulled one of the thickest tomes towards him, _Magical Theory_ by Polina Sinthe. Before he could figure out a method of detection, he would need a thorough understanding of magic itself.

A sudden influx of students entering the library an hour later made Remus look up from the notes he'd been taking and check his watch. He was startled to find it was already lunchtime. Magical theory had turned out to be absolutely fascinating, and he was loath to stop reading, but his stomach grumbled at him, so he put the rest of the books back, before taking Sinthe's up to the checkout desk. He could continue studying it in the dorm later.

As he left through the main doors and started down the corridor towards the Grand Staircase, Snape and Regulus rounded the corner up ahead.

'Seems like you've lost your boyfriends, Lupin,' Snape called to him with a sneer.

Remus rolled his eyes. Did Snape really think that insinuation bothered him? 'Looks like you finally managed to make a friend, Snivellus. Your mother must be proud.'

They had reached each other by this point, and Remus met Regulus' eyes. The boy looked uncomfortable, and Remus felt a flash of sympathy. It wasn't his fault he didn't have the courage to go against his family, and now he was left with people like Snape as his only choices for companionship.

Snape lifted his arm and only then did Remus notice he already had his wand out. Bugger.

'Langlock,' Snape whispered before Remus could even reach his own wand.

Remus gasped as he felt his tongue glue itself to the roof of his mouth.

Snape smirked at him. 'Perhaps that will teach you to be quiet when around your betters, Lupin.' With a toss of his robes, he walked away. Regulus shot him an apologetic look before following Snape into the library.

Remus growled in frustration at not being able to respond and began descending the stairs. He would need to make a detour to the Hospital Wing before he could meet the others, and, if his treatment took long enough to make him miss lunch, Snape was going to regret his actions today. Remus would make sure of it.

-o-o-o-o-

Sirius tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for the show to begin. He was supposed to be using reparifarge to revert the partially transfigured teapot on his desk back into an orchid, but most of his concentration was taken up with watching the blackboard behind Professor McGonagall. The rest was trying not to think about sneaking through the castle under the invisibility cloak with Remus the night before.

They had all travelled together to the Den, before Sirius and Remus took the cloak to the Transfiguration classroom and then the Slytherin dungeons, leaving James and Peter to brew the necessary potion. Sirius wasn't sure why being so close to Remus was making him feel so warm and tingly in his stomach now when he'd spent a considerable amount of time during the last weeks of the previous term making sure he was as close to him as he could get. But he thought it probably had something to do with the kiss and the way he'd been thinking about him all summer to get through the torture. He needed to put a stop to it, but he hadn't figured out a way to do that yet. Instead, he was just trying to not to think about Remus like that anymore.

The most difficult part of Mission Secret Admirer—as James had named it—had been getting the potion into Snape's morning juice. Spiking the jug in the kitchen had been ruled out because they wanted Snape to be the only one affected; the potion had to be added to Snape's goblet only. After much discussion, it had been decided that the best way to accomplish the task was through distraction and deceit. And so the four Marauders had approached the Slytherin table at breakfast on the pretext of Sirius needing a word with Regulus. While Sirius spoke to Regulus about a completely fictitious letter he'd received from their Uncle Alphard, inviting them to spend the Easter holidays with him, James engaged Snape in an argument about the ludicrous size of his nose and Remus had slipped behind him unnoticed, and poured the few drops of potion into his pumpkin juice. Sirius felt it was their smoothest execution of a plan to date.

A few minutes later, Sirius' wait was over and he watched with unrestrained glee as the first lines of the poem chalked themselves across the blackboard.

_Oh Snivellus Snape, I love you so._

_You look so dashing in your hot pink robes._

As the final 's' finished forming, Sirius glanced over to the object of the poem's affections and was gratified to see that Remus had timed it perfectly. Like James' robes had done the year before, Snape's robes changed from regulation-black to hot pink in the space of a second; unlike James, Snape could not pull it off, and he looked between his robes and the words on the board in horror. A few students had noticed the words on the board and were pointing them out to their friends and giggling. Professor McGonagall hadn't yet noticed; her focus remained on the papers she was grading. Hopefully, that would continue for another minute or two. Remus said he didn't care if he was caught, but Sirius would prefer it if he wasn't.

The next two lines began to form on the blackboard and Snape's lips moved as he read them to himself. His expression becoming more horrified with every word, and his hand creeping up to touch his hair gingerly.

_And your greasy hair sticks up in the air,_

_so gloriously it's beyond compare._

Over the past few seconds, Snape's hair had been inching its way into the air until every strand was standing on end. Most of the class had noticed his predicament by this point and were openly staring while trying to suppress their laughter so as to not alert the teacher. Sirius was struggling on that front himself. As soon as the next part was complete, he would let himself lose control, but they needed all eyes on Snape so no one would see where the spell came from. It hadn't been possible to set this part up ahead of time.

As the next words scrawled themselves across the board, Remus bent forward with his wand near the ground and whispered, 'Furnunculus maxima.'

It was a delicate task. Remus needed to aim precisely to make sure he hit Snape's leg while missing everyone else's between him and them, but, as usual, Remus pulled it off spectacularly. The jet of orange light skimmed across the floor of the classroom, passing between the legs of several students before hitting Snape in the ankle. The boils would burst to life first at the place of impact, and so it would take about three seconds for them to spread out to a place where they'd be visible; exactly how much time it would take for the next two lines of the poem to finish writing themselves across the board.

_The weeping pustules that adorn your skin,_

_are the loveliest things I have ever seen._

The class could no longer contain their laughter by this point, and Snape had let out a little shriek when the spell made contact. Either of these alone may have been ignored by McGonagall. Neither occurrence was exactly uncommon during Transfiguration. But the two things combined made her look up and take notice of Snape's situation.

'Mister Snape,' she said. 'Who did this?'

'I didn't see anyone. But I believe it was Potter and his friends.' Snape pointed at the board, and McGonagall looked around to see the last lines of the poem appearing. 'They're the only ones that use that name.'

McGonagall was silent for a moment as her eyes scanned over the words on the board. It was long enough for the poem to finish writing itself, much to Sirius' delight.

_And when I get close enough to you,_

_to smell the stench of animal poo,_

_I breathe in deep, and say to my mates,_

_that Snivellus Snape is just so great._

At the exact moment that Professor McGonagall turned back to face the class, the dungbomb attached to the ceiling unglued itself and landed on Snape's head, coating him in the noxious substance inside, and splattering many of those sitting closest to him. Including Evans. Everyone in the room that hadn't been hit erupted into peals of laughter at the sight of Snape's boil-covered scowl.

Professor McGonagall sighed in the manner of one who dealt with this kind of thing every day. 'Take yourself to the Hospital Wing, Mister Snape.' Snape hurried to obey, clearly wanting to escape the classroom as fast as possible, and McGonagall turned to the Marauders. 'Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew. Detention tonight. The rest of you, get back to work.'

She cast a few spells to clean the students affected by the dungbomb and remove the smell from the room. The second she returned her attention to the papers on her desk, James spun around in his chair and gave Sirius and Remus a high five.

'Just one detention! That couldn't have been more worth it.'

Sirius couldn't agree more.

After the lesson, they bid farewell to Remus as he split from the group to head to the library to do more research while the rest of them walked downstairs and out of the main doors towards the training grounds. Remus, unsurprisingly, had opted not to continue flying lessons after the first year. But for James and Sirius, while they didn't strictly need them, the opportunity to spend an hour a week on the back of a broom was irresistible.

They had a great time flying the obstacle course Madam Hooch had set up to test their abilities, and by the end of the hour, all three of them were windswept and ruby-cheeked.

'Hey, Nerd Boy,' Sirius said, taking his seat beside Remus in the Great Hall. 'You missed a great lesson.'

'And you missed a wonderfully peaceful hour in the library,' Remus replied.

'Sounds awful.'

'Well, then I think we both chose our preferred option, don't you?'

'Did you make any progress?' James asked.

'A little,' Remus said with a nod. 'I have some workable theories about how to pull this off.'

'Excellent.'

'Check out Snivellus,' Sirius said, making Remus look up, and James and Peter turn around.

Snape was sitting near the middle of the Slytherin table. His robes were back to their regulation-black, his hair was as lank and greasy as always, hanging down around his boil-free face. But there was a good six-foot gap between him and the people closest to him on both sides. Clearly, he hadn't been able to remove the stench of being hit with the dungbomb yet, and not even his fellow Slytherins wanted to be anywhere near him.

'Serves him right,' James said, turning back to face him with a derisive laugh. 'Maybe he'll leave Regulus alone now.'

Sirius scowled. 'He better.'

They retreated to their dorm after lunch and spent the afternoon getting all their homework done, knowing that if they left it to pile up, it would impede their Marauder duties, and none of them wanted that to happen. When all the written work was out of the way, they practised their stances for Defence, before testing each other's shields with stupefy, although no one dared to stun Remus; he was the only one who could revive them.

Later that night, when they were changing for bed after spending a few hours in the common room (enjoying the fact that they were no longer the youngest students in the Tower), Remus approached him. He was rubbing his hands together as if he was nervous, and Sirius raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

'You've been having a lot of nightmares,' Remus said.

Talk about stating the obvious. Sirius just nodded at him to continue.

'Every night since we came back to school.'

'What's your point, Remus?' Sirius was getting annoyed. If he asked what they were about again, he was going to snap.

'You don't seem to have any more after I wake you up.'

'No.'

Remus swallowed and then spoke in a rush. 'What if I just sleep in your bed from the start instead of waiting until you've had a bad dream? I think we'd all get a better night's sleep.'

Sirius stared at him for a moment. He hated feeling weak; like he needed help. But this was Remus. 'Yeah, alright. If you're okay with that,' he said.

Remus merely smiled at him, his golden eyes glinting in the torchlight, and climbed into Sirius' bed holding a book. 'Do you mind if I read for a bit?'

Sirius scoffed. Of course he didn't mind.

With Remus cuddled up on his chest, and Cosmo curled up beside him, Sirius slept through the night for the first time since the sleepover at James' and he woke up feeling refreshed and full of energy. There was nothing he couldn't do.

The morning sped by fast. In Charms, they finished up their work on duro by making a pillow rock-hard, and in Transfiguration, they covered the theory of altering a plant's material make-up to change it into an inanimate object. After lunch, it was finally time for their second Defence lesson with Professor Tenebris, and Sirius was looking forward to showing off his skills with the shield charm.

She had dispensed with the skin-tight outfit that day and instead was dressed in traditional robes, blood red in colour. After demonstrating the charm, Professor Tenebris asked them to form a line in front of the mirror and practise casting it while maintaining the correct defensive stance. It surprised no one when the four Marauders all cast perfect shield charms on their first attempt, grinning at each other triumphantly through their reflections.

'Mister Lupin, since you find it so appropriate to show off, perhaps you would help me demonstrate how the shield charm might be used in an actual duel?' Professor Tenebris said in an icy tone.

Sirius didn't think that was very fair. Remus hadn't been the only one showing off after all, and what exactly was wrong with showing off, anyway? They could do the spell, were they supposed to pretend they couldn't? But Remus shot him a warning look, so he kept his mouth shut and watched as Remus took a position opposite the teacher and raised his wand in preparation.

Remus easily shielded against the first stupefy and held the shield in place through the second and third. As his spell began to falter, he shifted from the defensive casting stance into one for dodging and when the shield failed he dodged left to avoid the next stupefy. Unfortunately, that was where his luck ran out. Professor Tenebris cast a barrage of spells in quick succession. Remus threw his shield back up, and the first two jets of light hit the shimmering wall of magic and dissipated, but the third passed straight through and hit Remus square in the chest. He crumpled to the floor as if his legs had turned boneless, and his head hit the ground with a thunk.

'Remus!' Sirius, James and Peter all cried in unison, rushing forwards to check on their friend. As Sirius crouched down beside him, James whirled on the teacher.

'Why would you use a spell he couldn't shield against?' James demanded.

Having made sure Remus was still breathing, Sirius glanced up to see Professor Tenebris frown at James.

'I didn't mean for that to happen,' she said. 'Could you all move out of the way, please? I need to make sure he's okay.'

Sirius and Peter backed away so she could reach Remus, and she quickly cast a diagnostic charm. James wasn't ready to give up, though. 'What did you expect to happen exactly?' he demanded. His tone was bordering on insolent and Sirius winced.

Professor Tenebris stood up and turned to face James. She eyed him up and down, and Sirius saw the tip of her tongue dart out to wet her lips as she considered him. 'Detention, Mister Potter. My office, tomorrow at six pm. Speaking that way to a teacher is unacceptable. But to answer your question, if Mister Lupin had been paying attention to the lecture, he would have known that protego is useless against jinxes. I expected him to dodge. Honestly, he'd appeared quite proficient up to that point, but I clearly overestimated his abilities. My mistake. Still, no harm done, Mister Lupin will be fine after a quick trip to Madame Pomfrey.'

'I'll take him,' Sirius said quickly.

Professor Tenebris looked at him doubtfully. 'He's unconscious, I think it will take at least two of you.'

'I'll help,' James said, giving Peter a significant look.

Peter got the message. 'I'll go with them too, open the doors for them.'

Professor Tenebris nodded her assent, and Sirius and James hooked Remus' arms over their shoulders and hauled him to his feet. His head flopped forward onto his chest and they dragged him from the classroom as Peter held the door open for them.

They were halfway to the Hospital Wing when Remus came around. Honestly, with how long he was unconscious for Sirius was wondering if he would've survived without the lycanthropy.

'What happened?' Remus asked blearily, trying to support his weight by himself and failing miserably.

'Jelly-legs jinx took you out, mate,' James told him.

'Gods, really? How embarrassing.'

'Not really,' Sirius said. 'You were on fire before that. Holding your own against the Defence teacher for as long as you did was pretty impressive.'

Remus rewarded him with a bright smile. 'Yeah, I was pretty awesome, wasn't I?'

'You were magnificent,' Sirius said. 'Now up you go.'

They'd reached the Hospital Wing, and Sirius and James deposited Remus onto the nearest bed. Sirius looked around to find Madame Pomfrey, but she was already hurrying towards them.

'What seems to be the matter?'

'He got hit with a jelly-legs jinx and banged his head on the floor,' Sirius said.

'Alright, you three can go. He'll be back with you in an hour or so.'

James looked set to argue, but Sirius and Peter grabbed his arms and dragged him from the room. Sirius shouted a cheeky, 'See you later, Nerd Boy,' over his shoulder as they left.

'You already got detention for arguing with Professor Tenebris,' Sirius said. 'Last thing you need is to be banned from the Hospital Wing for annoying Madame Pomfrey.'

'But don't worry,' Peter added. 'Sirius and I are here to save you from yourself.'

Remus didn't appear during lunch, so they took some food back to the dorm for him and he arrived an hour later, his legs back to normal and a smile on his face.

'All better,' he said, sitting on the bed next to Sirius and letting his head drop onto his shoulder. 'I'm still pretty tired though.'

He knew it was just habit leftover from spending several weeks immersing himself in contact to desensitise himself to touch, but Sirius still got a little thrill whenever Remus chose to sit beside him instead of on his own bed.

'Have a nap if you want. We've got Astronomy tonight, anyway. I'll wake you up for dinner.'

Remus agreed, snuggling down next to him on the bed and Sirius continued working on his essay for Transfiguration, occasionally glancing down and smiling at how relaxed Remus looked in sleep, his forehead smoothed of the pained creases that so frequently marred his skin.

By Friday evening, a full week had passed since they'd arrived back at Hogwarts and Sirius was feeling more like himself. With Remus spending the nights in his bed, he was sleeping better, and regularly consuming three solid meals a day had his appetite almost back to normal.

Really, the only issue still plaguing him was Regulus. His brother seemed to have turned against him more thoroughly in one short week than Sirius had thought possible in a full year. It broke his heart that his only ally in his first eleven years of life would no longer give him the time of day, but he had no idea what he could do about it.

The problem came to a head on Saturday morning. The Marauders were enjoying a lazy morning in the dorm, listening to their radio, knowing that the next weekend they would need to start brewing the potion for the Niffler Hunt when the peace was interrupted by the click-click of an owl's beak against glass. They all looked towards the window, but it was Sirius that stood to open it. He would recognise his mother's screech owl anywhere.

After removing the scroll from the owl's leg, he unrolled it and read the short missive quickly, growing angrier by the second. When he reached the end, he closed his hand into a fist, screwing the parchment up into a ball in the process, and stormed from the dormitory to hunt down Regulus.

What the fuck did that boy think he was doing?


	46. Chapter 45

Saturday, 9th September 1972

Remus took little notice of the owl at the window once he knew it wasn't for him, not until Sirius started growling under his breath, anyway. The enraged sound made him look up from his book and frown at his friend in concern. It was more than likely another cruel letter from his mother, and it was even more likely that he would need comforting when he was finished reading it. With that in mind, Remus put his book to one side, but before he could stand, Sirius screwed the parchment up in his fist and stormed from the room.

When Remus glanced over at James and Peter, he found them both looking back at him, their faces mirroring the alarm he was feeling, and without a moment's hesitation, all three jumped to their feet and followed Sirius out of the door.

His anger-fuelled sprint from the dorm had given him a head start, and Remus, James and Peter could do nothing more than keep him in sight as they followed his dash down the Grand Staircase and into the dungeons.

When the three finally caught up with him, he was pounding his fists on the blank stretch of wall that hid the Slytherin common room and shouting for Regulus to get his ass outside immediately. Blood trickled down his wrists where he'd torn the skin of his hands on the rough stone, and the smell made Remus' mouth water, but he ignored it. This wasn't the time for him to have a crisis.

Remus reached out to grab his arm and stop him from doing any further damage to his knuckles. 'Sirius, stop. You're hurting yourself.'

Sirius whirled around and glared at him. 'Do you know another way to get him out here? No? Then shut the fuck up, Lupin!' He turned back to the wall and continued pounding on it. Remus was reminded of the last time a letter from home had caused Sirius to yell at him and continued on undeterred. Sirius' anger wasn't directed at him, not really. It was directed at Regulus and whatever was in that letter. Remus wasn't going to let it keep him from protecting Sirius. Even if the person he needed protecting from _was_ himself.

He grabbed Sirius' wrist again and James grabbed the other one. Together, they pulled him away from the wall.

'Stop it. Right now,' James said, his voice firm. 'We'll wait here for someone to come out or go in, alright?'

Sirius struggled against them for a minute but the fight was averted when the wall vanished and a Slytherin first year stepped out. She glanced at them suspiciously, her eyes darting down to Sirius' bloody fists and noting James and Remus' death grips on his wrists.

Peter jumped into action when he saw her. 'Hey, do you know Regulus Black?'

She raised an eyebrow but nodded. 'He's in the common room.'

'Would you please tell him his brother's waiting outside to have a word?'

She turned around and walked back towards the common room. After just a few steps, the wall reappeared and they could no longer see her, but they only had to wait a few seconds before it vanished again to reveal the girl had returned with Reg in tow. Remus daren't let go of Sirius yet, though; he didn't know what he might do, and James seemed to have the same reservations because he continued to keep a tight hold on his other arm.

'Thank you, Annette,' Regulus said to the girl. She nodded to him and headed down the corridor towards the Great Hall. They all watched her leave and when she disappeared out of sight, Regulus turned to Sirius and sighed.

'What do you want, Sirius? It had better be important.'

Sirius tried to get his arms free again, but Remus and James refused to let go.

'Will you get off of me? I'm not going to hit him for fuck's sake.'

'You promise?' James asked.

'Yes, James. I promise. I, Sirius Black, do solemnly swear not to punch my dear brother in his big stupid mouth. Is that good enough for you?'

James nodded to Remus, and they both released him. Sirius immediately reached out and yanked Regulus up the corridor by the collar of his robes and into a classroom, roughly pushing him inside before following. Remus, James and Peter were quick on his heels and Remus closed the door behind them.

'Merlin, Sirius. You could have just asked me. There's no need to shove.'

'I got a letter from Mother this morning. Do you know what it said?'

'I haven't got the foggiest.'

'It was congratulating me on "seeing sense and finally behaving like a proper heir." Why does Mother think I've capitulated, brother dear?'

'What was I supposed to say? She asked me outright if you were still disobeying her. I couldn't avoid answering.'

'You should have told her the truth!' Sirius yelled in Regulus' face, but then his voice broke and his words sounded sad. 'After everything, Reggie, do you really think I want her to believe she's won?'

'If I'd told her the truth, I'd be complicit. You can't expect me to bear that responsibility. You think I want to listen to your screams all summer, again, but this time know it's partly my fault?'

'Screams?' Remus asked. 'Why would he be screaming?'

'It doesn't matter,' Sirius said quickly.

Regulus turned his head to look at Remus. His eyes roamed from his head to his feet and back again before he spoke. 'Because of his friendship with you, of course. And Peter, too.'

'Shut up!' Sirius roared, but Regulus ignored him.

'Our Mother is… unhappy with his choices. When he went home for the vernal equinox, she gave him a taste of what awaited him if he didn't cut ties with you, but he refused to comply. I can't see the appeal myself.'

Sirius growled. 'I'm warning you, Reggie.'

'What did she do to him?' James asked. Remus was grateful that James was able to keep a cool head because, personally, he was having difficulty forming words. What had Sirius suffered just to keep his friendship?

'You'll have to ask Sirius for specifics. All I know is that he spent most of the summer in the cellar, screaming.'

Sirius stamped his foot in imitation of a toddler throwing a tantrum. 'For fuck's sake, Reg. I didn't want them to know!'

Regulus stared at him. 'You're an idiot.'

'Excuse me?'

'You heard me. You Gryffindors think you're being so brave. But this isn't bravery, it's stupidity. Thank Merlin the Hat put me in Slytherin.'

'I don't _care_ what you think. It was _my_ choice. Mine!'

'Your _choice_ was to endure torture to save your pride. Let Mother think she's won. Who cares? You know the truth. But if your pride really matters so much to you, feel free to write back and tell her I lied.'

Sirius stared at him incredulously. 'You _know_ I'm not going to do that.'

'Well then, you'll be free to do as you please next summer. You're welcome.' Regulus tossed his hair and stalked from the room without a backwards glance and Sirius remained frozen to the spot, staring after him.

'That's what the nightmares are about, isn't it?' Remus asked.

'You should have told us,' Peter said. 'We could have pretended to not be friends in public. You didn't have to go through that.' The "not for us," remained unspoken, but they all heard it. Remus knew he wasn't worth it and Peter clearly felt the same.

'Sirius?' James said, approaching him as you would an injured wild animal. He placed his hand on Sirius' shoulder and he jumped, whipping his head around with wide, frightened eyes. James wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. 'It's alright. We're not mad that you didn't tell us. Just worried about you.'

Sirius buried his face in James' neck, wrapping his arms around him as if his life depended on it, and his shoulders shook as he broke down into sobs. Remus wondered just how long he'd been holding all this in.

'She burned me, James. Chained me to the wall and cast phantom fire under my feet.'

Remus went cold with horror. Why would Sirius willingly endure something so… unthinkingly sadistic, for him? He felt sick with guilt, but James somehow managed to stay calm. He didn't even pause in running his hand up and down Sirius' back as he tried to comfort him.

'All summer?' he asked. And Remus was impressed that his voice didn't even shake.

Sirius nodded into James' shoulder. 'Most of it.'

'You are _so_ strong,' James whispered. 'I can't imagine how you survived that with your sanity intact. I'm in awe of you, Sirius.'

Not pity, but admiration. Remus knew it was exactly what Sirius needed in his moment of vulnerability; it was what he had needed when Sirius revealed he knew about his lycanthropy, but Sirius had had months to think about what he would say. Remus only had seconds, and he didn't think he would have been able to find the right words. Thank Merlin for James.

'I went to the safe place inside my head like Remus taught me.' Sirius lifted his head and made eye contact with Remus, offering him a sad smile. 'You just _keep_ saving me.'

Remus swallowed hard. 'I promise never to stop.'

-o-o-o-o-

After the confrontation with Regulus, they'd grabbed some food from the Hall and returned to the dorm. Sirius was still furious that Reggie had not only told their mother that she'd won their battle of wills; that he was weak, but also revealed everything to his friends. By some unspoken agreement, they didn't ask him questions—for which he was grateful—but merely offered to be there if he ever wanted to talk, cry, rage or scream about it. He need only ask. Gods, he didn't deserve such amazing friends.

Remus had been quiet since they got back, which wasn't unusual for Remus, but it was a strange kind of quiet, more anxious than tranquil, and it worried him. So halfway through the morning, when Remus stood from his deafening silence and announced he was going to the library, Sirius was pleased. He thought the library would soothe him like it usually did, and he'd be more himself when he met them for lunch. He'd come to rely on Remus' calm energy to balance out his own restless passion, and he was feeling a little lost without it.

Unfortunately, he was wrong. Remus was somehow even quieter during lunch, and Sirius was on the verge of asking him to just speak whatever was on his mind because it was driving him nuts, when Remus' eyes went wide and he whispered, 'Please don't hate me.'

Sirius was confused. Why in Godric's name would he hate him? But then he heard a quiet cough behind him and he turned around to see Professor McGonagall gazing down at him with an oddly gentle look in her eyes.

'Mister Black,' she said. Her tone matched her expression, and it unnerved him. He hadn't realised her voice could sound so soft. 'If you've finished your meal, could you please come with me? I'd like to talk with you.'

'Did I do something wrong?'

She smiled at him. 'Not this time.'

'Alright.' Sirius turned back to his friends and shrugged before climbing to his feet and following the professor to her office.

Once they were both seated, she eyed him over the top of her glasses. 'Mister Black.' She paused and then started again. 'Sirius. I received some disturbing information this morning. I've been told that your mother has been abusing you, magically, for quite some time, that it escalated this summer to a horrendous level, and that you may be in need of some help?'

Remus' plea was beginning to make more sense, and Sirius felt a wave of irritation. What right did he have to interfere like this? Professor McGonagall waited, but when he didn't respond, she continued.

'In the muggle world, there are services to protect children in situations like this, but unfortunately, in our world, such things are sorely lacking.' She let out a heavy sigh. 'Officially, there is very little I can do to help you. Unofficially, however, is a different story.'

Sirius saw a glint of something he'd never expected in her eyes. She almost looked like a Marauder.

'If you want to leave, Sirius, I can help you do that. I know people who would gladly take you in. But, if you take that route, you would be in hiding until you came of age. You would not be able to continue your education at Hogwarts.'

Sirius didn't even have to think about it; there was no way he was going to leave Remus to cope with the full moons alone, even if he was an interfering little dung-head. 'No. Thank you for the offer, Professor, but I don't want to leave. If that's all?' He began to rise from his chair, but Professor McGonagall held up a hand to stop him.

'I assumed you would say that, but there may come a time when you change your mind. Knowing you as well as I do, I don't imagine that will happen unless you feel your life is in danger, at which point you may be in need of an immediate escape route.' She paused and surveyed him. Her gaze was so intense he felt like she was seeing into his soul. 'Can I trust you, Sirius?'

What a strange question. 'Of course.' Sirius considered himself very trustworthy. He hadn't told anyone about Remus after all.

'What I'm about to offer you is extremely illegal, and I would be in a considerable amount of trouble if the wrong people were to ever find out about it. I need your word that you will not tell a soul. And, yes, that includes your friends.'

Sirius gaped at her. She was offering to break the law for him? 'I can't let you do that, Professor. That's too much to ask.'

'You're not asking. I'm offering. It is my firm belief that sometimes, especially when it comes to protecting others from harm, it can be morally right to break the law. I'm quite certain this is one of those times and rest assured, I have not made this decision lightly. Besides, I will be quite safe as long as you tell no one what I've done.'

Sirius swallowed hard. 'Then I swear on my life, I won't ever tell anyone. Thank you, Professor.'

'You are more than welcome, Sirius. Let us hope that you never feel endangered enough to use it. Now, do you have something you keep on your person at all times?'

Feeling the cool, ever-present weight of his pendant against his chest, Sirius nodded and pulled it out. 'I wear this all the time.'

Professor McGonagall held out her hand. 'May I see it? I promise not to harm it.'

Reaching behind his head, Sirius felt for the clasp. It was fiddly to undo and he so rarely took it off that he wasn't used to manipulating the mechanism, but he got it undone after several attempts and handed it to her. She studied the crest for a moment, before lifting her head to look at him.

'This is an interesting design. Can I ask what the symbols represent?'

'The book is for Remus,' he said, and she nodded as if that made sense to her, 'the cauldron is for Peter, James is the broomstick and I'm the paintbrush.'

'Yes, I've seen the doodles on your essays. You do like to draw,' she said. The corners of her mouth twitched as if she was suppressing a smile. 'And the M?'

Sirius smirked. 'Ah, I'm afraid that's a secret, ma'am.'

She chuckled. 'Well, that at least proves you're capable of keeping one. Did you design it?'

Sirius nodded. 'We all have one.'

'You're very talented, Sirius. Have you considered doing something related to art after school?'

'I've not really thought about it,' Sirius said, honestly. For most of his life, coming to school had been his long-term goal. Escaping his home for the majority of the year had seemed the pinnacle of achievement. But her praise caused warmth to bloom in his chest, and the suggestion that he could make a career out of doing what he loved excited him. Was that really a possibility?

'Well, plenty of time yet to decide what you want to do with your life.' She pulled out her wand and placed the pendant on her desk. Sirius couldn't hear the words she muttered under her breath as she cast spells on his necklace; she clearly didn't want him to know how to do whatever it was she was doing. Sirius couldn't really blame her either. When she stopped, the silver lit up for a moment, emitting a blue glow, before returning to its normal appearance.

Professor McGonagall picked it up and handed it back to him. 'When activated, this will bring you directly to me, wherever I happen to be at the time. I don't want you to worry about what I might be doing.' She gave him a stern look over the top of her glasses. 'If you feel you need to use it, you use it. I promise I won't be angry. Even if you arrive while I'm doing something both of us would rather you didn't see.'

Sirius felt his face heat at the idea of appearing while his teacher was in the shower or engaged in some other, equally private, activity. 'If that happens, I promise to close my eyes,' he said, deadly serious.

She chuckled. 'That is appreciated.'

'How do I activate it?'

'You need only push your magic into it while it's in contact with your skin, much like you would with a potion or when transfiguring something.'

Sirius nodded. It sounded simple enough. The chain was always in contact with his skin so that wasn't a problem and he figured he could probably manage to push his magic into it even if he was on the verge of death. Not that he had any experience with being on the verge of death.

'Thank you, Professor. This is more than I ever expected from anyone.' Sirius didn't know how to express the intense gratitude he felt for her, but he vowed that if she ever needed _anything_ , and it was within his power to supply it, nothing would stop him.

She seemed to understand without him needing to say it, though, because she nodded and Sirius would swear there were tears in her eyes. 'There's no need for thanks, Sirius. I only hope you never have cause to use it.'

-o-o-o-o-

Remus was a bag of nerves waiting for Sirius to return from Professor McGonagall's office. He'd struggled with his conscience for hours before finally deciding he couldn't sit by and do nothing, and seeking his Head of House for help. He trusted her to handle the issue sensitively; she'd always been decent about his lycanthropy, but he was unsure of how Sirius would react when he found out Remus had involved an adult without his permission. James and Peter thought he'd done the right thing when he told them, but they too expected Sirius to be angry. It was worth suffering Sirius' wrath, though, if it helped him in the long-run.

When the dormitory door crashed open, Remus jumped and looked up from the book he was pretending to read.

'You're an interfering little dung-head, Remus Lupin,' Sirius said, marching over to the side of his bed and pulling him to his feet. Remus wasn't sure what was happening. The insult suggested he was pissed, but he was wrapping him in a hug now. His actions contradicted his words and Remus was at a loss on how to react, so he just hugged him back.

'I'm sorry?'

'Don't be sorry. Thank you for being an interfering little dung-head, but don't ever go behind my back like that again.'

'What did she do?'

'She provided me with an escape route if I ever need it,' Sirius said, pulling back. 'But that's all I can say. I promised not to tell.'

Remus nodded. Promises were taken very seriously in their group. No one would pressure him to break one.

'I'm glad she was able to help.'

'Me too.' Sirius grinned and clapped his hands together, his mood changing in the space of a second. 'Let's do something fun. I seem to recall we have a stack of records we've yet to listen to.'

James jumped to his feet, mirroring Sirius' grin. 'The squib wing?'

'The squib wing,' Sirius confirmed.

Half an hour later, after a convoluted journey through the castle, they had the record player set-up in one of the apartments, and Sirius was standing on the sofa screaming along to the chorus of _Starman_ as if he was on stage.

'There's a _Starman,_ ' he sang, flinging his arms out wide, 'waiting in the sky. He'd like to come and meet us, but he thinks he'd blow our minds!'

'Starboy, maybe,' Remus yelled over the music. 'You're not a man yet.'

Sirius didn't miss a beat in the swiftness of his response to the jab. 'I'd blow _your_ mind, Nerd Boy.' He dropped down to sit next to him, laying his head on Remus' shoulder and gazed up at him, fluttering his eyelashes. 'Just say the word.'

'Mhmm,' Remus hummed. He'd left himself wide open for that one, practically inviting it. He really needed to be more careful. 'I'm sure you would. But I quite like my head in one piece.'

Sirius lifted his own head and nodded at him seriously. 'It is a very nice head.'

James snorted. 'That was your worst line yet.'

'You'll be telling him he has well-shaped toes next,' Peter said with a chuckle.

'Well, it is!' Sirius said. 'Look at it. His face is a perfect oval.' He waved his hand to indicate Remus' apparently perfectly formed head. 'And there's just the right amount of chin and nose,' Sirius continued. James and Peter were laughing openly now and Remus knew he was blushing furiously; his cheeks were on fire. 'And he has the cutest little ears.' Sirius used his index finger to wiggle Remus' left ear lobe and at that point, he'd had enough.

He swiped Sirius' hand away. 'Alright, that's enough of that, thank you.'

'Are you sure?' Sirius asked. 'I had a whole speech ready about the colour of your eyelashes.'

'You're being ridiculous.'

'No, I'm being Sirius.'

'You use that joke far too much, it's getting old.'

'So would you if you had my name.' Sirius stuck his tongue out at him and stood back up on the sofa to resume dancing to the music.

Remus sighed. He wouldn't mind the compliments so much if they were actually true, but as it was, it just felt like Sirius was making fun of him. If anyone had a perfect head, and just the right amount of chin and nose, it was Sirius. Honestly, no one had the right to be that good looking. It wasn't fair to the rest of the world when they had to compare themselves to such perfection.

No matter how carelessly Sirius dressed, he always appeared perfectly put-together. His hair was annoyingly co-operative and always looked flawless, never a hair out of place, and his skin was crystal clear and smooth. How was anyone supposed to compete? Never mind an impoverished and mutilated werewolf.

'You're staring, Nerd Boy. Get up here and dance with me.' Sirius reached down and grabbed Remus' hands, pulling him to his feet and on to the sofa before he even had the chance to protest.

What the hell, Remus thought. We're the only ones here, why not? So he held Sirius' hands and allowed him to wave them around in a crazy fashion, which didn't feel much like dancing but was hilarious in its silliness. James and Peter quickly joined in and the four of them were soon prancing around the room, shaking their heads and limbs to the beat and stamping their feet, all while laughing hysterically. The loud, thrumming beat of the music and the endless laughter banished all the unpleasant thoughts to the back of Remus' mind and he breathed in deep as the scents of his friends surrounded him, soothing the beast that prowled inside him and leaving him at peace.

It didn't last long.

Professor Tenebris continued to target him in class. On Monday afternoon, they continued practising with the shield charm, and she accused him of slacking on his casting.

'There's no point holding back in a duel. If your opponent gets through your shield, you could be incapacitated, and at their mercy, before you can even blink,' she sneered at him. 'Do it again, and this time put the effort in, Mister Lupin.' She turned to watch the rest of his group. 'That's good, Mister Pettigrew, a little more of a flick on the last syllable. That's it, wonderful. Two points to Gryffindor. Mister Potter, a little less enthusiasm, a little more precision and you'll have a perfect shield, well done. Two points to Gryffindor.' She observed Sirius for a minute before offering him feedback. 'You're a natural, Mister Black, but perhaps you could tone down the dramatic flouncing? You'll find your casting is smoother if you leave out the flourishes.'

Sirius nodded and tried again. He wasn't able to completely refrain from adding in a flourish or two, but his shield was definitely cleaner than on his previous attempts. Professor Tenebris beamed at him.

'Beautiful. Five points to Gryffindor. Keep working on it.'

When she moved on to the next group, Remus expected his friends to gather around him and commiserate about her harsh words, but they were all glowing at her praise.

'Did you hear that?' Peter asked, grinning widely. 'She said my shield was wonderful.'

James slapped him on the back. 'You did brilliantly, mate. And she said mines almost perfect.'

'I'm a natural,' Sirius said, sporting a broad grin.

'Only if you can stop being dramatic,' James said, laughing. 'I find that hard to imagine for some reason.'

'Yes, well, apparently _I'm_ not putting in enough effort,' Remus said. 'I don't see how I could try any harder.'

'We'll help you practise, mate,' James said. 'We know how unbearable it is for you to earn anything but an O.'

That wasn't the problem, though. If Remus thought he deserved a lower grade, he'd accept it, like in Potions. But he didn't think he deserved this criticism. As far as he could tell, his shield was both stronger and cleaner than any of theirs, and yet she praised them and told him to put more effort in. It wasn't fair, and that was what was bothering him. Plus, he got that sick feeling every time he looked at her. That wasn't helping.

They didn't have Defence again until just before lunch on Thursday, and they spent all of Wednesday afternoon practising. But no matter how much he tried, Remus couldn't make his shield charm any better. He was utterly convinced it was as perfect as it could be. Unfortunately, he didn't get the opportunity to show it to Professor Tenebris and test if she would find something negative to say about it because she was back in her skin tight purple suit to teach them offensive stances. Once again, she continually criticised him while offering nothing but gentle encouragement and praise to everyone else.

'Shoulders back, Mister Lupin. You're still slouching too much.'

'Your feet should be further apart than that, Mister Lupin. Do you want your opponent to knock you over? You need a _strong_ stance.'

'Keep that wand hand steady, Mister Lupin. You'll take someone's eye out waving it around like that.'

That last one particularly smarted. It was just over a week until the full moon and he was already feeling it. A wave of weakness had shuddered through him, causing his hand to shake a little. It certainly wasn't enough to "take someone's eye out," though. He was well practised at controlling his reactions to the pain and discomfort of his condition.

Things escalated even further during Friday's lesson when they moved on to learning the disarming charm. Unlike protego, none of the Marauders had any experience with expelliarmus, and Professor Tenebris was quick to note it. With regard to Remus, that is.

'I see you've learned your lesson about showing off, Mister Lupin,' she hissed as she passed him. Remus couldn't control the shudder her proximity elicited. Something, some instinct, was telling him to be wary. He was sure of it. What he needed was more information about her, but he didn't know how to go about finding it.

Once everyone had a handle on the necessary wand movement and incantation, they paired off to practise, and Remus followed Peter to a clear part of the floor. They took positions several feet apart and bowed to each other before beginning. Taking turns to attack and defend, they cast expelliarmus and protego at each other for several minutes without a problem. Remus was shifting back into an attacking stance when he glanced up and noticed Peter's gaze shift from his face to somewhere behind him. Peter's eyes widened, and he stiffened ever so slightly.

With his adrenaline already pumping from the mock battle, Remus' instincts took over, and he whirled around, casting expelliarmus followed immediately by stupefy before registering that the person sneaking up behind them, the person that had alarmed Peter, was actually their teacher and he'd attacked her.

Shit.


	47. Chapter 46

Friday, 15th September 1972

Time seemed to slow as Remus stared in horror at the lights of his spells shooting across the small amount of empty space between him and Professor Tenebris.

Her wand flashed through the air as she deflected the attacks harmlessly into the floor, before smirking at him.

'Attacking a teacher, Mister Lupin?'

'I'm sorry. It was instinct. I didn't know who it was.'

'Detention, I think.' She raised an eyebrow at him. 'Tonight, six pm, my office.'

Remus nodded, knowing there was no point arguing. But not relishing the idea of being alone with her.

She walked away and Peter leant in close to whisper to him. 'She was pointing her wand at you before you even turned around.'

'Is that what scared you?' Remus asked. 'I knew there was something behind me because I saw you react to it.'

Peter nodded. 'I thought she was going to cast something at your back.'

'Maybe that's why she's mad,' Remus said, narrowing his eyes as he watched her speaking with her another pair of students. 'She's upset that I caught her before she got the chance.'

Sirius and James were quick to join them when the lesson finally ended, and they left the classroom together.

'Mate, I cannot believe you attacked a teacher,' James said, laughing. 'I knew she was annoying you, but that was just…'

'Extreme,' Sirius finished for him when he failed to find a word. 'Legendary. Epic!'

'I didn't mean to,' Remus said. 'I thought there was someone attacking me.'

'There was,' Peter insisted. 'I'm telling you,' he turned to James and Sirius, 'she was pointing her wand at his back.'

James frowned. 'Are you sure?'

Sirius turned around and started marching back to the classroom, his face contorted into an angry scowl. 'I'll kill her.'

Remus ran after him and dragged him back by the collar of his robes. 'Don't be ridiculous. You can't keep threatening to kill people who upset me.'

Sirius pouted. 'Why not?'

'Because it's… James, help me out here.'

'Because it's an overreaction,' James said. 'Besides, we have better ways of getting revenge.'

'We are _not_ taking revenge on a teacher.' Were his friends _all_ insane?

'Why not?' James asked. Now he was the one pouting.

Remus prayed to Merlin to give him the strength to deal with hotheaded, pre-teen boys. 'Because… Pete, help me out here.'

'Because she would assume it was Remus and he would get into even more trouble,' Peter said. He narrowed his eyes in thought. 'Unless we do it during your detention.'

'Peter!'

Peter shrugged. 'I _am_ a marauder, Remus. What d'you expect?'

James grabbed Peter's head and planted a wet kiss on his cheek. 'Good man!'

'I _really_ wish you'd find a new way to express your approval.' Peter wiped the dampness from his cheek and scowled at James.

'For the last time, we are _not_ taking revenge on Professor Tenebris,' Remus said. 'I will do my detention and we'll forget this ever happened.'

James shook his head sadly. 'That's just not the Marauder way, Remus.'

'A Marauder will always come to a fellow Marauders aid,' Peter said, quoting directly from the Marauders' Code.

'I don't need aid!' Remus was almost yelling now. If they continued on this foolhardy course, they were just going to make everything worse.

'I didn't think I needed aid, either,' Sirius said. 'But you didn't let _that_ stop you.'

'That was a completely different situation. And a completely different solution,' Remus said. 'I didn't go to your house and take personal revenge on your mother, did I?'

Sirius chuckled. 'No, but that would be hysterical.'

James rubbed his chin. 'We wouldn't be able to do it until we're of age. Any magic outside of the house would be picked up by the Trace, and we'd have to use magic to get in. Unless you could get us in?'

Sirius grinned. 'I could get us in. It's getting to London, that's the problem.'

'If we did it in the holidays, we could use the Knight Bus,' James said. 'But, during term time, they won't pick up anyone from Hogsmeade who's young enough to be a student.'

'Have you all gone mad?' Remus asked, shoving his hands into his hair and gripping it hard. 'Now we're attacking Sirius' parents?'

Sirius reached out and tugged his hands away from his head. 'Stop that, you'll hurt your beautiful hair.'

Remus rolled his eyes but allowed his hands to drop back to his sides.

'Remus is right, though. My mother would eat you alive if she caught you.'

'She'd hurt the heir to the House of Potter?' James asked, quirking an eyebrow cockily.

Sirius nodded seriously. 'If she caught you trespassing in her house? Sure. She'd get away with it too.'

'How's she going to catch me if I'm invisible?'

'That's a good point,' Sirius said. 'But I still don't think it's worth the risk.'

'And neither is attacking Professor Tenebris,' Remus said. 'It's just a detention, for Merlin's sake.'

'Alright, fine,' James said. He pointed at Remus and wagged his finger. 'But if she comes after you again, we're revisiting this conversation.'

Remus breathed out a relieved sigh. 'Thank you.'

Even though Remus was prepared to take his (undeserved) punishment with good grace, he still wanted more information about Professor Tenebris. He hadn't been able to shake the feeling that there was something just… wrong about her. It was during History of Magic, their last class of the week, that he had a brainwave.

Binn's was droning on about the formation of the Ministry of Magic in 1707 and the massive undertaking involved in separating the administration of the Magical world from the Muggle world when it occurred to Remus that the Ministry kept records. Of everyone. And that would include Professor Tenebris.

He couldn't get to the Ministry himself, but he did know two people who could. Two people who happened to know he was a werewolf, making them more likely to believe him that there was something off about her.

Peter was fast asleep next to him, so he pulled out a fresh sheet of parchment and began drafting a letter.

_Fabian and Gideon,_

_I hope you're both well._

_My friends and I are working hard to prepare for the first event at the end of the month. Thank you, by the way, for leaving the polyjuice and the ingredients we need for the potion to animate the armour. They've been extremely useful._

_I'm writing to you because of the new Defence teacher who's replaced Professor Hawthorne. She knows of my condition and has been treating me rather unfairly in class, but the thing that concerns me is that my instincts are telling me she's dangerous. Every time I'm in her presence, I feel it. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and a shudder of revulsion runs down my spine._

_I'm hoping that you would be willing to search the Ministry records for her and see if there's anything suspicious in her past? I realise it's a lot to ask, but I really am very worried, and I don't know anyone else that would believe me._

_Your fellow mischief-maker,_

_Remus Lupin_

Not wanting James and Peter to question why he was writing to the twins, Remus waited until they were all engrossed in their homework after dinner before telling them he was leaving early so he could stop by the library before his detention. Instead of leaving the Grand Staircase on the fourth floor, though, he ran down to the owlery as fast as he could manage and called for Rieka from the bottom of the stairs. Being the wonderful owl that she was, she immediately responded to his call, flying down from a window to land on his shoulder and nuzzle his ear affectionately. Remus felt a bit guilty that he didn't have time to make a fuss of her, but she seemed to understand he was in a hurry and allowed him to attach the letter to her leg, before hooting softly and soaring into the sky. Within seconds, she was nothing but a dark speck against the endless blue, and then she was gone.

Six pm was drawing near, so Remus dashed back inside and made his way to Professor Tenebris' office. When he knocked, her chillingly musical voice called for him to enter. Remus waited for the shudder to subside before pushing the door open and walking in.

Her office was small, but she had made good use of the space. There was a compact desk in one corner, stacked with paperwork, and the matching chair would tuck neatly away underneath it when not in use. Shelving ran the entire circumference of the room, but was positioned high on the wall, close to the ceiling, to avoid encroaching into the usable floor area, and they were bursting with books. Remus noted some of the titles as his eyes catalogued the layout of the room. Many of them were related to duelling, but there were a few on dark creatures, several about potions and one he spotted called _Cauldron Making for Beginners_.

Professor Tenebris was perched on the edge of the windowsill with a steaming mug of something in her hands and she watched him as he walked to the centre of the space, scanning his new environment as he moved. She didn't speak until he made eye contact with her.

'Do you know why you're here, Mister Lupin?'

Remus inclined his head. 'Because I attacked you in class.'

She drained the rest of the liquid in her mug before placing it down on the windowsill behind her. 'Wrong. Try again.'

Remus licked his lips and considered her. What answer was she looking for? Well, it was obvious, wasn't it? 'Because I'm a werewolf.'

'Correct.' She tapped her nails on the windowsill rhythmically as she stared at him. Remus refused to look away despite the chill her gaze caused.

'How do you feel about me, Mister Lupin?'

Was this a trick question? 'You're my teacher, I respect you, of course.'

She chuckled. 'Come on now, Mister Lupin, be honest.'

Remus swallowed. Did she really want an honest answer, or did she just want an excuse to punish him more? Perhaps there was some middle-ground he could tread. 'I think you treat me unfairly in class. Most likely because I'm a werewolf and you believe I don't deserve to be here.'

'I didn't ask how you think _I_ feel about _you_. I want to know how you feel about me. If I were to tell you that you're right, that I do treat you unfairly in class. And it's completely intentional. Werewolves shouldn't be allowed wands, and you definitely shouldn't be in my class. What would that make you feel?'

Remus clenched his fists at his sides. Her words made him angry. They made him want to prove he was better than her. So he took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. 'It makes me want to prove you wrong.'

'Good,' she said, drawing out the word. 'I saw you get angry then, but you controlled it. Your self-control really is quite impressive for your age.' She smiled at him. 'I noticed it after our first lesson together. What I said to you should have riled you up far more than it did. I called your lycanthropy an affliction and implied you would use it as an excuse to be lazy, and you didn't even shout at me. Honestly, I've been trying to make you mad for days, but you're always so calm.' She shook her head in disbelief. 'Your friends, though. Especially Potter. He's a force to be reckoned with, isn't he? Do you know, he glared at me during his entire detention? It was all I could do to not laugh. Does he know what you are? Oh, feel free to sit down.' She waved her hand at the chair tucked beneath her desk.

Remus stared at her, dumbfounded. What the hell was going on here? 'No, thank you. I'm fine standing. Why are you trying to make me angry? Do you want to get me expelled?'

She shook her head. 'No. I was testing you. Seeing how good your instincts are. Trying to find your breaking point. You didn't answer my question, though. Do your friends know about you?'

'Sirius does. James and Peter don't.' Remus hoped if he answered her question, she would answer his. 'Why are you trying to find my breaking point?'

'So I can train you to harness your anger and use it to protect yourself from a world that despises you,' she said simply. 'Why have you told Mister Black and not the others? Do you think they'll desert you?'

'You want to train me?'

'That is my job, yes. Potter and Pettigrew?'

'I didn't tell Sirius, he worked it out. I haven't told them because it doesn't seem worth the risk.'

'Not worth the risk?' she asked, frowning. 'Friends that know what you are and love you anyway are worth any risk, Mister Lupin.'

Remus raised his eyebrows. 'And what, precisely, would _you_ know about it?' His tone was clipped and aggressive.

She laughed. 'So you do know how to bite. There's that fire I saw on the first day. What do I know about it, you ask? Well, Mister Lupin, while they call _you_ werewolf, they call _me_ vampire.'

Remus' eyes widened. That explained what he was feeling when he was around her. The two diseases were fatal to each other. Her blood would kill him instantly, and his wolf's saliva would do the same to her. 'You have sanguinaria?'

'I do. Are you afraid of me now?'

Remus wanted to prove that he wasn't, so he turned his back on her, walked over to the chair she'd offered him earlier and sat down. 'Of course not. If Dumbledore hired you, I assume you have your thirst under control.'

'For many years now, yes.' She eyed him for a moment. 'You should tell your friends, they seem to care a great deal for you.'

'I don't think that's really any of your business.'

'You're right. It's not. But I want you to be as prepared as possible when you leave here. Friends that truly know you will be invaluable in the outside world.'

'I have Sirius.'

She nodded. 'You do. And an idiot could see how much he cares about you. But you will need more. I don't think you understand just how dangerous it will be for you when you come of age.'

'I can take care of myself.'

'I'm not disputing that. I was pointing my wand at your back for barely a second before you attacked me earlier. Your instincts are strong, and you trust them, which is vital. But Potter and Pettigrew _will_ find out, eventually. The longer you keep it from them, the harder it will be for them to forgive you for it.'

She obviously didn't know about the Marauders' Code, which expressly permitted him to keep secrets for as long as he wished. But he knew, even with that, she had a point. The longer he went without telling them, the more offended they would be that he hadn't trusted them.

'But what if they turn against me?' he asked, hating the way his voice wobbled.

'From what I've seen, I find that extremely unlikely. Potter was ready to tear out my throat when I knocked you out.' She laughed and waved her hand through the air. 'Sorry, vampire humour.'

Remus chuckled. 'No need to apologise. Making jokes helps sometimes.'

She smiled. 'Just, think about it?'

Remus nodded. 'I will.'

'Good. Now. I'm not going to let up on you in class. You're already better than everyone else in your year, but you need to be better than people more experienced than you. Just remember, I'm only pushing you because I want you to survive when you leave here, and not because I think you're useless, or because I hate you.'

'I will,' he said again, inclining his head. 'Everyone else is going to think you're just picking on me, though.'

'Let them. They'll assume I don't like you because you're too smart.'

'What a stupid reason not to like someone.'

'Yes, well, so is having a disease, but here we are.'

Remus let out a surprised laugh. 'Indeed.'

They smiled at each other in mutual understanding, and then Professor Tenebris pushed herself off the windowsill. 'Right then, I think that's long enough to pretend you were punished for attacking me. That was excellent, by the way, ten points to Gryffindor for the quickest reflexes I've seen since my duelling days.'

Remus stood up and held out his hand to her. 'Thank you,' he said. 'For caring.'

She smiled and shook his hand. 'You're welcome. Thank me by keeping yourself alive.'

'I promise to do my very best.'

Remus took the long way back to the Tower, thinking hard about revealing his secret to James and Peter. It was true that every sign pointed to them accepting him without question, but he was still nervous. They may hypothetically be okay with werewolves, even sympathetic towards them, but when faced with one wearing the skin of their friend it might be a different story. He went back and forth several times, but by the time he reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, he'd made his decision.

'I'm calling a Marauder meeting,' he announced after closing the door securely behind him.

James, Peter and Sirius all looked up from their various activities.

'Are we getting revenge on Tenebris, after all?' James asked, grinning. 'Because I had an idea—'

'No,' Remus said, interrupting him before he could start on a thirty-minute monologue outlining what was sure to be an overly complicated mess of pointlessness. 'I have something to tell you.'

Sirius looked at him with a clear question in his eyes. Remus offered him a minute nod, and Sirius' eyes widened before he beckoned him over. 'Let's do it on my bed.'

Remus joined him and Sirius took his hand and squeezed it. Using the noise of James and Peter relocating to cover his words, he whispered, 'Are you sure?'

Remus nodded firmly, his jaw set in grim determination. 'It's time.'

Once James and Peter had made themselves comfortable at the foot of Sirius' bed, they looked at him expectantly and Remus found it difficult to hold their gaze. He had the urge to fidget with something, but Sirius still had a hold of his hand, so he started pulling at a loose thread on the hem of his robes.

'Before I tell you, I need you to promise you won't tell anyone,' Remus said. 'Even if you decide you don't want to be friends with me anymore.'

James frowned at him, but nodded. 'Alright. What was it you said last week, Sirius? Oh that's right,' he put his right hand over his heart and held up his left, 'I solemnly swear never to reveal the secret Remus is about to entrust me with,' he said, his face deadly serious.

Peter copied him and repeated the vow, and then Sirius did the same. It wasn't really necessary, he already knew the secret, but Remus appreciated the gesture.

He smiled weakly at them all. His heart was pounding in his chest and his stomach was churning. 'I… er… What I told you before, about my scars, the car crash. It wasn't true,' he said. Great start, Lupin, annoy them by letting them know you lied to their faces. But they both just smiled and nodded at him encouragingly, and Sirius squeezed his hand again. There was no easy way to say it, no way to break it to them gently. So he took a deep breath and just said it.

'I'm a werewolf.' He waited a beat, and then he looked up to gauge their reactions.

He was expecting shock. Maybe fear. Not leaping off the bed fear—he had more faith in them than that—but fidgety, shuffling backwards, wide-eyed fear. Maybe.

James grinned at him. 'Thought so. I was just waiting for the next full moon to see if you made an excuse to disappear.'

'Really?' Peter asked. Remus startled and looked at him, but Peter was looking at James. 'Merlin, you're oblivious. I figured it out back in March. Assumed you both already knew, and we were just waiting for Remus to tell us.'

Remus stared at them. 'You both already knew?'

Peter nodded. 'There were a lot of clues, but—'

'What clues?' James asked, his tone incredulous.

'He was never around on the full moons for one,' Peter said. 'And he didn't hurt himself carving the wood for the painting box. Come on? You must have thought that was strange?'

'He's Remus,' James said, waving his hand at him. 'I just figured he was careful.' He glanced at Sirius. 'What about you? You haven't said anything.'

Sirius grinned. 'I worked it out last September, You two are just slow.'

James laughed. 'More like you were completely obsessed and watched his every move.'

'Can we get back on topic?' Remus asked, quietly. 'You haven't told me what you think.'

'What we think?' James frowned and reached out to clasp Remus' free hand, squeezing it gently. 'We want to help, of course. Just tell us what we can do.'

'Chocolate helps,' Peter said. 'That's what the books say.'

Remus' relief escaped his chest in a breathy laugh, and his eyes burned with tears at the thought of Peter voluntarily consulting a book for him. 'You checked a book?'

'Books,' Peter said, emphasising the plural. 'Several of them. I tried to make that scar potion with the lycanthropy in mind. But I guess my information was wrong? It would help if I could get a sample of the wolf's saliva—'

'Moony,' Sirius said. 'The wolf's name is Moony.'

Peter nodded as if it was completely normal to name a werewolf like it was a pet. 'Moony's saliva, so I can work out—'

'Are you mad?' Remus asked. 'You can't go anywhere near me on the full moon.'

Peter rolled his eyes. 'Obviously. I'm not stupid, Remus. I just meant, does Moony, like, drool at all?'

'I don't know? I don't remember anything.'

'Where do you go? Can we check the place the morning after? It would really help me figure out where I went wrong.'

Sirius shook his head, looking scared. 'No, not a good idea. I went in there once before moonrise and Moony went mental at the smell of me. Ripped himself to shreds.'

'That was right before though,' Remus said. 'It might be alright if there's a whole month for the smell to fade.' He really hated his scars, and if Peter thought it would help…

'I don't want to risk you like that. They're just scars, Remus. It's not worth it.'

'Sirius is right,' James said. 'Nothing is worth risking you getting hurt. But, Sirius has been there? You knew he knew about you?'

'He told me he knew in April. But he followed me there on New Year's eve,' Remus said, giving Sirius a mock glare.

'Hey, I apologised for that. You're not allowed to keep bringing things up after you've forgiven someone,' Sirius said, laughing. He turned back to James. 'I go every month and sit outside talking to Moony through the door.'

'Does that help?' Peter asked. 'Can't Moony smell you?'

Sirius shook his head. 'No, Dumbles enchanted it. Smells can't get through. And it seems to help. Moony just listens to me instead of hurting himself.'

'Well, we'll all come then,' James said.

'You don't have to do that,' Remus said. 'It's cold and boring. You'd be miserable.'

James laughed. 'How is sneaking out of the school and spending the night with a werewolf, in any way boring?'

Remus rolled his eyes. There was no arguing with James.

-o-o-o-o-

The next morning, Sirius, James and Peter were ready to start the day, but Remus was still fast asleep, and Sirius had been delegated the job of waking him.

Flopping down onto the bed beside him, he stroked a finger down the side of his face and took great joy in being able to use his favourite nickname in front of the others. 'Wakey, wakey, Wolf Boy. Lots to do today and we're all waiting for you.'

'Ger'off,' Remus said, pushing his hand away. 'That tickles.'

'Hurry up, or I'll tickle something else,' he said, dropping a kiss on Remus' cheek before he could think twice about it, and then watching with delight as the skin turned pink.

'Fine, I'm getting up,' Remus groaned, rolling over to look at him. 'Why are you so bloody cheerful?'

'Because I'm not keeping any secrets from any of you anymore,' Sirius sang, grinning happily. 'It's very freeing.'

Remus swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. 'I'm sorry. I should have told them sooner.'

'I could say, I told you so, but I'm not going to because I'm a bigger person than that.'

Remus rolled his eyes. 'You just did.'

'Huh, I did, didn't I?' Sirius said without an ounce of apology. He grabbed Remus' hands and pulled him into a hug. 'I'm so happy you told them.'

'I can see that,' Remus mumbled into his shoulder.

'We're happy you told us, too,' James called from where he was waiting on his bed. 'Aren't we, Pete?'

'Very happy,' Peter confirmed. 'But if you don't let go of him, Sirius, we're never going to get this potion brewed.'

Sirius laughed and released Remus—who looked relieved to be free—allowing him to attend to his bathroom needs before they went downstairs for breakfast.

'It's not going to take three of us to…' James stopped speaking to glance around the table, then he leant forward and in a much quieter voice continued, 'brew the potion. And we still need a suit of armour. Why don't you two work on that, while Pete and I do the potion?'

'You want us to kidnap a suit of armour?' Sirius whispered.

James nodded. 'And bring it to the Den.'

'How the fuck do you expect us to do that?'

'I don't know, do I? Use your imaginations. You can use the cloak.'

Sirius scoffed. 'Oh sure, that'll help.'

'You can do the potion if you want,' James said, shrugging and turning his attention to his bowl. 'I don't mind helping Remus with the armour.'

'No, no. It's fine. I'm sure we'll think of something,' Sirius said quickly before James could settle on the change of plans.

James smirked. 'That's what I thought.'

Peter chuckled and shook his head.

Sirius looked between them and frowned. 'What's that supposed to mean?'

James widened his eyes in a failed attempt to look innocent. 'Just that we know you'd much rather be running around the castle than cooped up in a tiny room all day.'

Sirius looked to Remus to see how he was reacting to the exchange, but he had his nose buried in the massive book on magical theory he'd been carting around all week and was oblivious to his surroundings, so he turned back to James. 'We'll do the armour. You do the potion.'

James snorted and returned to his breakfast of cereal and fruit.

Half an hour later, Sirius and Remus were alone and wandering the sixth floor on the hunt for a suitable suit of armour to steal. There were several options, but they wanted the easiest path possible back to the Den, and there were quite a few students milling about, which was making the planning difficult.

'Do you think they're really okay with it?' Remus asked.

Sirius glanced down at him. 'I told you they would be.'

'I know. It just seems to good to be true.'

Sirius shrugged. 'Maybe you just have great taste in friends.'

'I didn't exactly choose you nutcases,' Remus pointed out. 'You sort of just… forced yourselves on me.'

'Yeah,' Sirius grinned, 'we did, didn't we?'

'But, seri—' Remus stopped before completing the word and changed it. 'But really though, they don't hate me?'

'They don't hate you,' Sirius said, putting his arm around his shoulders and pulling him in to his side. 'They're planning on coming with me next Saturday and everything.'

'You don't think hearing me… you know, will scare them away?'

'Remus, no one who heard that could feel anything but a desire to help make it better.'

'But that's the point, isn't it? They can't make it better. There's nothing they can do and being helpless is scary.'

'Never say never, my little Moonpie.' Sirius ruffled his hair and laughed when it made Remus scowl at him. 'I made you a promise, and I intend to keep it.' He stopped in front of an alcove. 'This one,' he said with a decisive nod. 'There's the passage just down the way that'll take us one corridor away from the Den. Then we'll just have to wait for the rest of the route to be clear.'

They transported the suit to the passageway piece by piece, and once they had the whole thing hidden away inside, they hovered around the corridor waiting for it to clear. It shouldn't take long, it was almost lunchtime after all.

As they waited, Sirius' mind drifted back to James' strange comments at breakfast. It was like he thought Sirius had some ulterior motive for wanting to work with Remus. As if he fancied him or something, which was just ridiculous. But he had been spending a lot of time with Remus, even sleeping with him at night, so he couldn't really blame James for getting that impression. He needed to do something to prove James was wrong, so he'd drop it. But what?

'We can probably get started now,' Remus said, interrupting his thoughts. 'Everyone seems to have gone to lunch.'

It didn't take them long to lug the armour down to the Den, but it was heavy and Sirius' arms were killing him by the time they were finished. Not that he'd ever admit it. When they arrived, James and Peter helped them get it all stacked up in the corner of the room. Then they finished up the first stage of brewing and placed the potion under stasis to await the daisies they'd be retrieving the following weekend.

After lunch, Remus left them to visit the library. Apparently, he was finished with his book on magical theory and was ready to start working on some ideas for the magic detector. And for that he needed—he had told them as if it wasn't obvious—more books.

The moment Remus was out of hearing range, werewolf hearing range that is, James rounded on them and launched into what appeared to be a pre-rehearsed speech.

'I've been thinking about what Professor Tenebris said to Remus. And she's right. It's going to be dangerous for him. But we're his friends. He isn't the only one who needs to be better than everyone else, is he? If we want to be able to defend him… or, you know, help him defend himself, then we need to be just as good as he is.'

'So we'll work hard,' Sirius said, shrugging.

James shook his head. 'That's not enough. I think we need Professor Tenebris to be just as hard on us as she is on him.'

Sirius thought about it. James was right. Would he really be the best he could be if he had the Professor praising him all the time like she had last week? He'd slacked right off after she'd called him a natural. But being a natural at something wasn't enough. It was like his art. He was a natural at that, but he wouldn't be as good at it as he was now if he hadn't put in the hours of practice, constantly pushing himself to paint a better picture than the last one. There had been no one to praise him then, only his own inner voice telling him it wasn't good enough.

'Yeah, alright. Shall we go and speak to her now?'

'Peter? You in?' James asked.

Peter sighed. 'Well, it was nice getting praise while it lasted. But if it's going to make Remus safer in the future, then I guess I'm in.'

'Yeah, you know what, James? I don't think this is going to work for Pete. He's different to us. He doesn't slack off when he's praised, he works harder.'

James hummed. 'I can see your point.'

'So I don't have to do it?'

'No, it's probably best if she treats you like she did last week, and we help you practise more after class,' James said. Peter looked relieved.

The Defence classroom was empty when they reached it, but the door to the office at the top of the stairs was open so they walked up to see if she was inside. When they reached the door, Sirius spotted her sat at a desk in the corner, hunched over some paperwork. He knocked gently on the open door with a single knuckle to get her attention.

She glanced up and smiled when she saw them. 'Hello boys, what can I do for you?'

'We were hoping to have a word,' James said. 'In private? It's about Remus.'

'Of course. Come in,' she said, standing up. She closed the door behind them after they entered the room and cast a silencing charm before perching herself on the windowsill and looking at them expectantly. Sirius was glad to see she was taking precautions to keep Remus' secret safe.

'I'm not sure how to begin,' James said, taking the lead. 'Last night, I guess. Remus returned from his detention with you and called a M… a meeting. He told me and Peter that he's a werewolf. We already knew, but we were glad he finally decided to tell us. Anyway—'

' _I_ knew,' Peter said. 'You only suspected.'

'I knew it, really. I just didn't want it to be true, but what else could it have been?'

'Who knew what isn't important. I'm glad he told you,' Professor Tenebris said. 'Assuming you were supportive?'

James looked offended by the insinuation he could have been anything but supportive. 'Of course, we were. Anyway, Remus told us what you said about pushing him in class so he's able to protect himself when he leaves school.'

She nodded for him to continue.

'And we were talking. We think we need to be just as good as he is so we can help him protect himself. So we wanted to ask if you would push us too, the way you're pushing Remus? Well, me and Sirius anyway, Pete needs all the praise he can get, or he's likely to give up, but we're going to help him after class too.'

Her face broke out into a beaming smile. 'You really care about him, don't you?'

All three of them nodded seriously, and James shrugged. 'He's Remus,' he said as if that was all the explanation that was necessary.

'I'll admit, I was hoping you would come to me after he told you, but I thought it unlikely that boys as young as you would have the maturity to make this choice.'

'So you'll do it?' Sirius asked.

She inclined her head. 'I will. The question is, can you take it? I'm likely to be extremely harsh.'

Sirius and James glanced at each other and nodded, before looking back at Professor Tenebris. 'We can take it,' they said simultaneously.

'I want you to promise me that if it becomes too much, you'll let me know. I don't want to make you miserable.'

They both nodded and made the promise to tell her if they couldn't take the criticism anymore, before saying their goodbyes.

'I thought that went well,' James said when they reached the corridor.

'Very well,' Sirius agreed. 'I have to admit, I'm a little nervous for class on Monday, though.'

Later that evening, Remus joined him on his bed and handed him a familiar notebook.

'Since James and Peter are coming next Saturday, you probably won't need anything else to distract you, so I thought I should give you this now. I wrote in it during the summer like you asked.'

Sirius took the book and grinned. 'Thanks, will you stay while I read it?'

'No, I need to finish my essay for McGonagall. I've been so focused on figuring out the magic detector I forgot all about it.'

'How's that going?'

Remus' face brightened as he smiled widely and his eyes sparkled with excitement. 'Brilliantly. I have a working theory of how to achieve it, I'm just working out the spells and runes we'll need.'

'Already?'

Remus smirked. 'Did you doubt me, Star Boy?'

'Star Boy?' James yelled, suddenly taking notice of their conversation. 'Wait. Wait, was that flirting?'

'No,' Sirius and Remus said at the same time, but while Remus' voice was incredulous, Sirius' was defensive.

'Alright,' James said, laughing. 'Just checking.'

Remus stared at James with confusion contorting his features for a beat, before returning his attention to Sirius. 'Anyway,' he said. 'Enjoy. I'll see you later.'

As soon as he was gone, Sirius opened the notebook and flicked through to the right page, settling back against his pillow to read.

_Hello Pup,_

_I'm sure you're wondering why I'm calling you that. Don't worry, I plan to explain. You see, I've been doing some research on your star, and I'm sure you already know most of this, but I'm going to tell you, anyway. Sirius is often known as the Dog Star. The Ancient Greeks believed that emanations from Sirius caused dogs to behave oddly during the hottest days of summer, and the Romans called the star 'Little Dog.' It's interesting just how many cultures associated your star with canines; it's been known as, 'the dog that follows mountain sheep,' 'dog-face,' 'the coyote star,' and 'moon-dog.' In Chinese astronomy it's known as 'the star of the celestial wolf,' but I think my personal favourite is 'wolf-star'. It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?_

_The one that I predict will be_ _your favourite, though, has nothing to do with dogs at all. In Scandinavia your star has been known as 'Loki's torch'. I thought the association with the trickster God would appeal to you the most._

_When I thought about it, you're very doglike, and I don't mean that in a bad way. You get excited easily, and jump headfirst into everything you do. You're loyal, and affectionate and you hate to be ignored. For all of these reasons, I have dubbed thee, 'Pup'._

_Do you like it?_

_Yours in anticipation,_

_Wolf Boy_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek. Hope you enjoyed this. And sorry for the super cheesy 'wolfstar' comment in Remus' letter, I couldn't resist XD
> 
> I now have some awards to give out.
> 
> Five house points each to Ninnaboo, Labreezy and Meltedsnow, who all guessed correctly that Peter already knew about Remus.
> 
> Five house points each to Mchan and Zoffoli for guessing that Professor Tenebris' treatment of Remus wasn't what it seemed.
> 
> And a whopping fifteen house points to Phoenix_Flower_Techtress who not only guessed that Peter knew and that Professor Tenebris was treating Remus poorly for a reason, but also that she was a vampire. I can see I'm going to have to work extra hard to get anything past your eagle eyes XD

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
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